Perched ontop of a half crumbled wall at Pixies Roost, the skinny half-elf lets her gaze drift across the cliffs and towering forests around her, then turns her eyes up towards the sky, where dawn is just about to break through the night's embrace. A soft grey mist cloaks the ground below, the first pale rays of light turning each tiny drop of moisture into sparkling diamonds. Willow watches, spellbound, the raw cold seeping through her layered clothing ignored until the moment's passed. Then she shivers, hops down from her perch and stirs new life into the slumbering coals of the night's campfire. While fragrant tea simmers in a small dented pot of hot water, she writes:
"Growing up, huh? Turning sensible always struck me as booOOooring. Growing up implied, somehow, doing the 'normal' thing, the same as everyone else, falling into a rut of the mundane and taking no risks beyond putting food on the table, probably with a litter of needy runts clutching ones skirts. A fate worse than death, thought the younger me, thrashing and wailing at the smallest attempt at making an adult out of her.
But maybe it's my reasoning that's stuck in a rut of late. If I redefine to my own mind what it means to grow up, would it really be that bad? All things change, but ones old ways of thinking often linger even when circumstances change around us. I'm no exception to that, not really. I need to change too, don't I?
Stamina, you said knowingly. I flustered inside, wanting to protest that I 'do' have stamina, I can go on and on and on so long as it feels right, so long as I'm doing what I love. But I bit my lip. That's not what you meant, I know just what you meant and to pretend differently would be pathetic. Sticking it out when the journey's 'not' to my liking, when there's blood, death and hardship, when my heart is heavy and low. Pacing myself, when my party bleeds and my fingers itch to dispense another blessing, reigning myself in when I long to let loose. Standing still, when the playful wind tells me to run and cavort, oh it's the hardest one of all!
So that's where I'll start - with myself. I'll never be a stealthy ranger, watchful and quiet, a shadow passing by unnoticed - but I can practice a few other things. If I'm to manage taming any wild beast (or rather calming them 'cause I don't really want to coerce), I need to find that calm in myself first. 'Patience, Willow' - words a thousand times repeated, often with a sigh, a command instinctively rebelled against, but it's different, isn't it, if it's ~me~ saying it?
Patience. This is going to be a tough one, Shaundakul! But I think I need it, I need to fight past the sense that I failed as a ranger, that I'm nothing without your grace. It seems contrary, but I kinda feel that focusing on me rather than you right now will make me a better priestess, 'cause I'm the one that needs to change. I won't become 'too' grown up though, no worries about THAT! Just the sort of grown up that's learned to be ready for all eventualities, yet still welcoming, no actively seeking surprises, new paths and secret places to discover!
I went with sensible, for my reward too. I'd dreamed loftily of finding the EPIC pair of boots, winged, spring-loaded, soaked in ~amazingness~ masked by an unassuming worn-out look. I searched high and low, through countless dusty bins and reeking goblin containers, enjoying the looking and never quite minding the total lack of result. But yeah, alright - growing up means letting go of childish things, to an extent anyway. So practical boots it is, comfortable and sturdy, but I'm still Willow. So while I let an airy, aimless quest go, I built the boots with the aim of being able to follow a more specific dream. This insulation against electricity is 'just' what I need to explore the unchartered realms of the quasi-elemental plane of, yes, you know it, lightning!"