P
IV.
And then….. later…..
_… he was there again, standing at the cliffâ€s edge, looking down at all the tiny twinkling lights. They were just as heâ€d seen them before – except this time he knew they were not really stars. This time he knew they were bits and fragments of memory – of people and places present and past, and perhaps even a few glimpses of things to come. But there was only one that he had come to see.
Pip thought of his master… of his face, his voice… he thought of him sitting in his favorite place – a little walled garden in the center of the monastery, the place where he had first seen him so many years ago. He pictured him seated on a low stone bench… by the little koi pond at the center of the garden… it would be late afternoon… the sun would cast an orange reflection on the stone walls… the smell of jasmine would be in the air… perhaps a slight breeze would swirl through the courtyard…. it would be a warm day…. almost summer…
And with that picture firmly in his mind Pip calmly jumped off the edge of the cliff and hurtled down and down through the cold darkness towards the little lights below. And as he fell ever faster, one light in particular began to shine more brightly than the others. With a thought he willed himself towards it… and then….._
… there he was. Floating just by his masterâ€s shoulder. Insubstantial, transparent – like a puff of smoke.
Pip saw that his master was holding a small frog in his hand – light green, almost yellow – with a red band across its back. The frog sat calmly and unconcernedly in his palm while he stroked its back with a fingertip. Pip saw that his master was speaking …. but at first, he could hear no words. Then, concentrating very hard on listening, he began to hear his masterâ€s voice faintly… as if it were coming from the bottom of a very deep well.
“… fortunate that I found you before you were eaten by a pigeon, as you surely will be if you stay here in this garden. Hm. But what shall I do with you?â€
His master turned then, and it seemed to Pip that he looked right through him. Then a faint smile crept onto his masterâ€s face, and he cocked his head to the side as if listening to the sound of faint, far off music. He spoke.
“And here is another visitor to my garden. One I had hoped to see again, who is likewise fortunate not to have been eaten by something dark and hungry that lurks between worlds.â€
He looked directly at Pip for a long while, his face growing darker and more stern with each moment. Then finally he spoke again,
“It is Pip, my old pupil. And he has come to tell me something. Speak.â€
So Pip did… or tried to. He began slowly at first, then spoke more quickly – telling his master that he had failed him, that he had failed himself… feeling more hollow with each word he spoke. But well before he had finished, his master held up his hand.
“Stop. I can not hear you. Your presence is too weak.†He frowned sternly, then continued…
“You have come to tell me that you have failed, have you not? Nod yes or no.â€
Pip nodded ‘yesâ€, slowly but firmly. His master spoke again.
“So it is yes? I see. Now you must answer one question for me. The answer need not be complex; a word or two will do.†His masterâ€s face grew even darker before he continued. “And I will give you one clue. If I tell you that I would have certain knowledge that you have met and conquered the enemy I sent you to face only if you returned to me, as you have just done, to confess failure – then by what name would your enemy be known, Brother? Think well on this, and respond when you are ready.â€
His master then turned his eyes back to the pond and gazed into the water, still lightly stroking the back of the frog he held in his palm with a fingertip.
So Pip thought, trying to remain calm. How could defeat also be victory? How could his failure represent a triumph? What what his master talking about? He had thought heâ€d been sent to the Nars region to fight a great evil…. had he not done so? And had that evil not proved to be far more powerful… far greater than he? For a moment Pip became frustrated… he had braved great danger to come here only to be confronted with what – a riddle? He realized that he was becoming angry… and with that realization his frustration and anger vanished immediately.
Who was he to question his master? No. Anger and frustration were childish emotions, unworthy of one who truly followed the path. So he looked within himself, and pondered the question well and truly. And after only a few moments, he knew. It was as if a gong had been struck inside his head – the answer to his masterâ€s question was obvious. Then, feeling very small and very foolish, he spoke a single word…
“…. pride,†he said.
His master turned to him and smiled. Then he spoke –
“Yes! Your pride is what I sent you to conquer. Pride – your greatest enemy, that would have torn your feet from the path. An enemy that only you could face… only you could defeat… you alone. And face it you have. So you have. And it was well and truly done, my son.â€
Master Tâ€ula stood, and walked towards him. For a moment, he thought he felt his masterâ€s hand brush his cloak. Then his master held out the palm of one hand and placed it in the center of Pipâ€s chest. At first his touch seemed insubstantial, feathery – but after a few moments the hand felt more solid, warmer, almost as if his master had faded slightly out of the real world and into the space between, where Pip now hovered like a ghost. Then his master spoke one last time…
“Back you go, Pip. Do not come this way again, until you can travel without the Oenanthe. Go and be happy. Tend your garden. Remember your lesson. I will call for you again, sooner than you might think. Know that now, only now, your learning truly begins. Fare you well.â€
With that, Pip felt his master give him a gentle push. The garden dissolved and faded away, and the stars returned – spinning and whirling endlessly. Pip felt himself flying backward with impossible speed… further… and further… faster… and faster…
… until he had returned, and found himself sitting in front of the cold ashes of his fire, which had long ago gone out. The sun had just slipped behind the hilltops… it was approaching dusk, and he knew that a full day had passed. At least one full day.
Very stiff and very thirsty, he stood slowly and walked over to the little stream, bent down, scooped up some water into his palm, and drank. Then again, and again, until he felt his thirst begin to ebb. Looking down, he caught a small movement out of the corner of his eye… which drew his eyes further, to a small lump in the pocket of his robe. He reached in the pocket carefully, and pulled something out.
It was a small frog – light green, almost yellow – with a red band across its back. Pip stared at it for a moment in disbelief, then smiled and laughed as it jumped from his hand and into the water, splashing its way downstream to find a new home. Hopefully, one without pigeons.