A lone figure made his way through the cold night out toward Blackbridge’s gates, but two pairs of footprints crunched through the snow. The first belonged to the figure, a short human, well dressed in a black velvet coat. He shivered, underdressed for the cold. The second pair of footprints belonged to something invisible, the shape of the prints like those of a gigantic chicken. The shivering individual carried a single rose and a box of fine Damaran chocolates.
“I’m starting to have second thoughts about this.” He said, seemingly to nobody.
A gruff voice came from the darkness, “What ye fret’n about? Y’know I’m always look’n out for ya.”
“Oh yes. Like that time you cast a fear spell on that sailor about to kill me, making him flee.”
“Right!”
“And you then cast a dispel on that fear spell, pointed at me, and told the sailor that if he slayed me, you’d be banished back to your home plane and would be unable to cast another spell that would turn him inside out.”
“BAHA! Classic. Good times, right?”
“… No. I’m just … not sure about this.”
“Listen, human, you want to bed a succubus, right? I’m tell’n ya, this one is your type! Trust me.”
The figure turned left before exiting Blackridge’s outer gate. They made their way through a side gate and up a snowy bank. The invisibility spell wore off, revealing a hulking mezzaloth at the figure’s side.
Eventually, they came to the base of a great stone tower, a heavy iron door at its base. The figure took out some tools and began working on the lock. The mezzaloth watched with utter contempt as the human’s pathetic, shivering hands toil desperately at the lock. With a satisfying “chlunk”, the door was opened. K’Satria straightened up, brushing some of the snow of his shoulders. “How do I look?”
“Like a writhing maggot,” the mezzaloth replied, “ripe to be dragged into the abyss to be devoured by-”
“I mean, am I comely?”
“Wa’? Oh. Yeah?... Is that a velvet coat?”
“Yes”.
“Very nice. Now, go get her tiger!”
K’Satria took a deep breath before entering the tower. Inside, the atmosphere was like the inside of an oven. At first, it was a relief from the bitter cold outside, but before long, he found it difficult to breathe. In the centre of the dark foyer was a large circular glyph, glowing with a sinister infernal glow. Inside the centre of the glyph was a tall, beautiful creature. The horns, wings, and comely figure made it obvious that she was a succubus.
The mezzaloth followed K’Satria in, flanking him as if he were his escort. K’Satria boldly strode forward, doing his best to pretend that he was not internally ablaze with passion. “I am .. er … Hello.”
The succubus gave the human a look up and down. “I am Merideva. Welcome to Darkmoore Tower. My master is unable to welcome guests at this moment. Perhaps it would be best if you returned another time.”
“Ah, well, I’m actually here to…” K’Satria was about to say ‘here to see you’, but he lost his nerve, instead saying, “.. um . to see your master, and to give him these”. K’Satria held out the flower and the box of chocolates. The intense heat in the room had already caused the flower to wilt, and melted chocolate was beginning to drip out of the corners of the box. “You should probably keep these … for yourself!” He handed the box and the withered flower.
The mezzaloth clasped its mandibles together, desperately trying to hold back its laughter.
K’Satria continued. “Please tell your master I was here and .. that I .. um … wanted a word.”
The succubus, with a mixture of amusement and confusion, looked down at the dead flower and the box, now oozing its liquid contents out onto the floor. “I shall inform him when he is available.”
“EXCELLENT!” K’Satria blurted out. “I'm … um … I’m going to .. to leave … Merideva.”
The mezzaloth was able to contain himself no longer. He erupted in a fit of laughter that echoed up through each level of the tower.
The succubus struggled to keep a straight face. “I hope to see you soon.”
K’Satria gave a quick, courteous bow, turned on his heel and quickly strode out of the tower. The mezzaloth, still in a fit of laughter, followed him out, barely able to walk straight.
Once outside, the freezing night air instantly robbed all the heat out of K’Satria’s body. He hugged himself, partly in a vain attempt to keep himself warm, but mostly to comfort himself after his romantic disaster. The mezzaloth staggered out, wheezing as it tried to catch its breath. “Bah ha ha .. oh .. sweet weeping Illmatah … oh .. classic.”
“You were no help!”
“Nobody can help you, mate! You’re a lost cause.” Noticing his summoner’s sadness, he mezzaloth attempted to take on a more consoling tone. “Bah, don’t mope about et. Like I keep tell’n ya, a mortal and a succubus, never ends well for the mortal. You’ve got to understand mate, souls like yours, we use them like currency where we’re from. We trade them the same way you .. people .. trade with beans and copper coins. The very best outcome between you and her would be for her to drain your soul out of your body, drag it down into the abyss, and trade it in for a hair clip or something. After that, some demon would probably eat your soul as a snack. After spending a hellish lifetime working through it’s gut you’d be shat out, only to be stepped on by some other demonic bastard. Once squished up between its toes, your shat-out soul would enter into eternity as filthy demonic toe jam.”
Arcane runes began to encircle the mezzaloth. “Looks like the summoning is about to end. Need me to slay anyone before I go?”
K’sayria sighed. “Not tonight.”
“Ba ha ha … later human.”
The mezzaloth vanished. The shivering human staggered home, alone, through the snow.