Here it's much more organic. And I apologize if the rest of my post sounds didactic, but I'm just loading up the shotgun and seeing what sticks.
When we "roleplay" it's not just about playing a game character, killing the whatzit, and getting the dingus so you can get more whatzits and dinguses. Just treat your character as a living, breathing creature, and ask yourself what this creature would do in a given situation.
Which isn't to say that we don't occasionally storm the battlements of our enemies, but it happens as a function of the RP. Adventures adventure, but it's usually to make money without another reason. Sometimes an "event" comes up where a reason is presented along with a goal, and they are usually overseen by DMs, but sometimes we'll just goal. The point is that in either case it remains an "In-Character" decision to do so.
Treat your character like a living person, asking yourself what they'd do in a given situation, rather than treating them like an avatar of your own fervent desire to maim and kill in the name of glory and XPs. That's the key difference between "Roleplaying" and "Roll-playing."
Which is not to say we don't care about numbers. We do. We just care less about them than we do about our characterizations. Narfell is challenging, and survival is not guaranteed.
Me, I like to craft a backstory and a reason for each character doing what they do and being what they are. It helps me figure out their motivations and to what causes they would lend themselves to.
