3. A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary

A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary


  • *** The penmanship has become shakier, as if the author couldn't keep her hand steady from nervousness. But in a way, it doesn't seem sloppy, indicating she likely was paying full attention to what she wrote. ***

    Entry 63 -

    I traveled to Peltarch for a bit with Cera and Coin. I was apprehensive of making the journey, but Cera promised that Mojo would keep us safe. I thought about going to the Temple of Tyr, remembering that I had originally wanted to speak to the high priestess there on the day I was killed. But I couldn't bring myself to go. My spirit still felt too weak to work on cleansing my altar.

    Instead I went to the tavern with my companions. There we met Adam Bromley, and a person named Meril. The two started to talk about the theatre. Thinking of the theatre reminded me of Reginald and our experience with those Pretenders we had in the theatre. As I remembered how Reginald's love for me almost cost him his soul, my already sad mood deepened. Then another memory stirred, the song Mama used to perform which Reginald reminds me of. A song of unrequited love. I started to hum the melody to myself.

    I was snapped out of my reverie by a question from Adam. He asked why I was acting so sad, so unlike me. I told about how may amulet, my Hope, was gone. He chided me for thinking my hope is tied to that amulet, drawing some anger from me. He doesn't understand what it means to me!

    Meril then started to hum a song. It's melody hit me and I recognized it as the song I was just humming. I settled back into my sadness and started to hum along. He asked me what the song was, I think he enjoyed hearing the melody. I told him about the song, and how a friend reminded me of it. He wanted to know who was the friend. I couldn't bring myself to say, fearing that Reginald would not forgive me for revealing his secret. Instead, I decided to head to bed.

    Later I returned to the gypsy camp, finding Kanen and Adam sitting by a campfire, and Cera soon approached. Kanen noted my sadness and asked what was wrong, and I answered. Adam then made the suggestion that I try to find the amulet instead of moping about it. Cera and Kanen agreed, and Cera even offered that the lady Katya could help. I felt my spirit lift up some as I thought about it. I should go find it, instead of letting myself waste away.

    So we went and spoke to Katya. She did have a vision of where it is, but it scared her greatly. My amulet is with Atol. I felt my heart sink. How could I hope to get my amulet back from that man, who has killed so many? I left the woman's tree feeling very torn up. Now that I knew where it was, I felt I needed to get it. But I also feared the man who has it. Coin, Fishel, and Braeth had arrived and we all discussed about the amulet and how we could get it back. We finally decided to try to parlay. If that failed, then Braeth suggested that Cera use a special ability of hers to kill Atol. As far as I understand it, she can channel a giant burst of magical energy. I rested and prayed to Tyr, and was overheard by Doli. She decided to help us.

    After we were prepared, we made our way to Atol's lair. On the way we ran into some other friends, but we decided if we had too large of a group, we'd provoke Atol more than intended and thus didn't ask for additional help. The Winding Caverns where Atol made his home were filled with many traps and bandits. We handled the bandits well enough, but the traps… They caused great harm to us. Thus we found out we made a grievious mistake. We didn't have a person who could disarm the traps. Fishel was killed by one while fighting bandits, though the gods heard our prayers and brought him back to life for us.

    *** This penmanship becomes more shaky here, as if she's troubled by what she is next writing. ***

    Then I fell to a gruesome spike trap, it's blades ripped me apart. When I woke up on the Fugue plane, I heard a sinister, seductive voice behind me. I turned around and saw the succubus who resides on this plane. Seeing her unnatural, fiendish beauty reminded me of Justinia, which only made me loathe the creature more. She was pleased to see me, feeling me up as she talked to me. I was disgusted to have her touch me, but I must admit she knew the right spots to touch. She was very effective at making it hard for me to think. She mentioned that her Lord is interested in me. I replied my contempt at having yet ANOTHER demon wanting me. She then surprised me with a question.

    She asked me why I was so sought after, why I'm so unique. I must say that I've often asked the same question to myself, but never would quite figure out why. I first answered that it's because I have a pure soul (or a mostly pure one I at least hope). She laughed at me and said she can always get those somewhere. My second guess was my beauty, but she also laughed at that. I couldn't think of a third guess. She told me that I obviously still had some soul searching to do. That was odd to hear from a succubus. She said the reason for them wanting me was part of my charm.

    The succubus then made an offer to me. She said she would revive all the people on the Fugue plane, which totalled four people counting myself and Fishel who just appeared next to me. I would have to do just one favor in exchange. I apprehensively asked what the favor was, and was shocked at her response. She wanted me to spend a whole night in my anger. I fear the anger, because I become someone so different from me. But what I fear more is that I was almost possessed while I was in my anger. I was torn up inside, trying to decide. On one hand, I don't want to strike a deal with this demon, on the other, she's holding three other lives in the balance of my decision. And she wouldn't let me talk to Fishel about it. This was a decision I had to make on my own.

    I thought long and hard about her offer, which was no easy task as she kept feeling me up all the while. Her hands were very distracting. Finally, I decided. I knew I needed to confront my anger and hatred someday. Thus I agreed to her offer, since this was something I need to do anyways, and three other lives were at stake. I probably wouldn't have gone through with it if it was just my life. That fiend knew well to play on my compassion for others. I pray Tyr forgives me for striking a bargain with the succubus, but I couldn’t ignore the other three depending on me. Please let their lives be worth my one night in my anger.

    The succubus then resurrected both Fishel and I. I was dazed at first, wondering if I made the right decision. I then noticed that Braeth was out of it. He was filled with despair at my death, and was slipping away to Evermeet. I screamed at him, hugged him, shook him… doing all that I could to make him realize that I wasn't gone. Him giving up so much hope to be willing to die made me realize how foolish I had been. I couldn’t give up though. I made my way back to the living only to have him die on me? I couldn’t believe it.

    Thankfully he came back to me. I decided that we all should forget the amulet for now. I was afraid that more traps would kill us all. And I realized that I don’t need the amulet as much as I thought I did. Besides, Braeth seems to have given up hope, and Coin has as well. Coin saying “We are all doomed,” over and over. While we were on the way back to the camp, we witnessed two spontaneous ressurections. One was a girl that I saw on the Fugue that the succubus promised to raise. Glad to see she kept her promise. I noticed Braeth has a lot of anger now. He seems to not trust anybody that he doesn’t know. This worries me, especially considering what I’ll have to go through with the anger.

    Okay. Time for bed. And a lot of praying. For forgiveness. For cleansing.

    Tyr, please don’t let me fail you.


  • ((OOC - Big kudos to Kerby for coming to me OOC about the items taken from my character and volunteering to return one of them. It certainly made for some good RP, and does help my character on her journey out of depression.))

    *** The penmanship is straighter and clearer, indicating the author's mind was concentrating more on the task. ***

    Entry 62 -

    I can feel Braeth again. My Love has returned. It's good to feel him again.

    My Hope remains lost. I still feel an emptiness in my heart without it.

    Coin is bothered by those damn Pretenders. My Faith still burns inside me. I tell him to not listen to the Pretenders, they offer only lies. He sees the truth, yet worries.

    I traveled to Norwick with friends. Bandits attack us many times on our path. Stupid bandits. May they all face Justice's wrath. They took away my Hope!

    …My Hope...

    ...Love was returned to me, perhaps Hope will too?

    Then I will be whole.

    Please, Hope, return to me.


  • The words in this entry are very jerky and sloppy, as if the author did not have her full attention on the task of writing.

    Entry 61 -

    Pain

    Death

    Land of red

    Sorrow

    Cera?

    Guilt

    More pain

    Darkness then light

    Emptiness

    Friends

    Where is Hope?

    It’s gone

    One give me his hope, another give me hers

    They aren't my Hope

    My Hope is lost

    Braeth, where are you?

    I feel only silence reply

    I'm lost

    _((OOC - Okay, I owe it to you all to explain what's going on here. Kara had died last night. She and another were trying to go to Peltarch. Upon transitioning to a new area, we were suddenly ambushed by at least a dozen bandits, and quite a variety too so they made an effective raiding party. There was just two of us.

    Okay, so she died, so what? If the problem was that she just died, yeah she'd be sad, but she'd not be THIS bad. So what else?

    Well, I sent a nice RP tell to Cera that Mojo hears her "Mommy" has fallen somewhre on the Nars Pass north of the gypsy camp (I figure that was vague enough). Well, she did get my body, and my belongings. Just as she was coming up to the Gypsy camp, Atol popped up and swiftly killed her.

    So now Kara died, and feels she's responsible for getting Cera killed. But wait, there's more…

    Somebody must have gone through Cera's possessions because my magic items and a few other baubles were missing. Among them is Kara's amulet which is VERY PERSONAL to her, and the "Isilme Malveasta" (Or however it's spelled) which represents her Bonding to Braeth. Missing these two items makes a telling blow to Kara's spirit, which is magnified by her weakend spirit from dying and her guilt at getting Cera killed.

    Why is it that whenever Kara starts to feel better, something comes up and slams her down? It's like she takes one step forward, then gets knocked back two steps.

    EDIT: Don't worry, I do plan to have Kara recover somehow. Though truly, she won't fully recover until that amulet is back.))_


  • Entry 60 -

    I shall try to keep this short, for I’m only pausing to write this entry. I have spent the last couple of hours chanting and praying, and plan to spend the next few hours in the same manner.

    The day started out very well. I headed up to Peltarch with Reginald, Wilhelm, Cera, Braeth, Kanen, and Big Six. On the way we met up with Fishel, who was escorting some newer travelers to the city. And when we arrived, we found Seven resting at the gate. I had wanted to travel up here because I wanted to get a better tour of the theatre, and also to stop by the Temple of Tyr to inquire about a cleansing rite for my altar.

    We visited the theatre first, this being my second time seeing it. My, it is a grand theatre. I will have my mother perform in it when she visits. Reginald also showed us the back stage and private rooms. As time passed on, there only remained a few of us, Reg, Cera, and I. As I was telling a story my mother used to tell me, Cera suddenly started screaming as raw magic coursed around her. I saw the space around her twist in scary patterns. Then she suddenly vanished again. Reginald was very startled at this. Since I had seen it before, I wasn’t as scared, but I still prayed and worried for her safety.

    A few minutes later, a black armored man appeared before me. He introduced himself as Cervejas, and proceeded to tell me that I should denounce Tyr. He proclaimed to Reg and I that the gods we know are false and do not care for us. One of his companions, a woman named Kross also appeared to help convince us. They proclaimed themselves as the true gods. I’ll admit they shown displays of great power, but I cannot believe their words about my god. These Pretenders speak of caring and loving us, yet their actions show a more sinister mind. They preyed on our emotions and offered whatever we could desire, all we need do is turn our backs on our gods and follow them.

    In addition to playing on my emotions, Kross changed part of my body, thinking that making me more beautiful would sway me. But I grew angry at her attempts. I was perfectly happy with the natural beauty I was graced with and don’t need to have my breasts larger! She wisely changed them back. Cervejas tried to sway me first by using my parents, then trying to tempt myself with his handsome features. How could they say they are for good if they try seducing me from my Love?

    Reginald was tempted with the promise of a woman to love. He turned this down and then Kross tried to seduce him. He almost succumbed, I suspect he didn’t only because I was there.

    I recalled that Kanen had earlier mentioned about these Pretenders, saying Covah had changed to worhsipping them. I fear for the rest of the land and now am praying to Tyr for Justice and Truth to prevail.

    By Tyr! I just remembered that Wilhelm was talking to Fishel and Kanen earlier about their gods. Perhaps he was visited by these Pretenders and is starting to have a crisis of faith? Please let me be wrong.

    These Pretenders… they are reaching out for everybody. Very dark and sinister times are coming… I must pray…


  • ((OOC – First a story, and then diary entry. I felt that the events of last night needed more of a response from Kara besides a simple diary entry. Enjoy.))

    Kara watched Reginald leave the guestroom of the theatre that he let her stay the night in. Guilt and sadness shown on her face, though he was facing the wrong way to notice. As he closed the door, she let out a heavy sigh. "Not all were lies, Reginald," she quietly speaks, though she knows he couldn't hear her. She felt another pang of guilt as she thought about what that false god, Cerveja, said to her bard friend to tempt him. Kara had known previously that Reginald had fallen in love with her, the false god's words only confirmed it. It bothered Kara that she was causing her friend so much turmoil, since she was already Bonded to another. It stung even more to think that the turmoil could have cost Reginald's soul.

    "Those damn false gods!" she curses to herself. "Playing with our emotions and desires to get us to follow them. And they think they are better than the gods we follow now?" The priestess walked over to her bed, but kneeled in front of it instead of lying down. She felt she was tired, but she felt she needed to offer prayers to Tyr instead.

    Kara placed her holy symbol on the bed before her. She pulled her red hair back, feeling it still to be damp from her time spent in the bath. Her clothes were also damp, which felt chilly in the cool air. She ignored the cold and let out a few breaths to relax herself. Kara then picked up her holy symbol and began to speak a cleansing chant, to make sure no taint of the false gods remained on her. She followed with a chant of blessing, letting the words reaffirm her faith.

    The flame-haired priestess sat still for a moment, staring into her symbol of faith. Her green eyes looked over the scales then down to the hammer, reflecting on their meaning. She turned her mind inward, searching for herself, her beliefs, her reason for her faith. She allowed herself a smile, as she found what she sought and was pleased. Her faith in Justice, Truth, and Good burned as bright as ever. Perhaps it burned even brighter, as the events she witnessed only strengthened her belief. Satisfied, she gathered her thoughts and began to pray.

    “My Lord Tyr the Even-Handed, please hear this prayer from your faithful servant. I have been beset by many troubles lately. I’ve prayed to you for strength against the Hatred that consumes me, against the demon that tried to possess me, and against the dark wizard that haunts my friends and me. Though the problems still exist, I have felt your aid and know that I will overcome these problems.

    “Now a more dark and sinister cloud is covering the land. Four beings, which call themselves the True Gods, are challenging the faithful. These beings say you and your fellow Gods are false, and promise all that one could desire for denouncing you. Two of these Pretenders tried to get me to change my faith, as well as my friend, Reginald. They proclaim that they care about us, and are about love and good. Yet their actions betray themselves! They tried using our emotions against us, they altered our bodies without warning, and they even tried tempting me to betray the Love I have for Braeth!

    “Fortunately, I was able to ward off their attempts, for my Faith in you is strong. I know you do care for me, that I’m not a burden unto you. If I were such trouble, you would have left me for dead instead of resurrecting me! But not all have the strength of Faith that I do. I know Reginald almost fell into their hands. I suspect that my being there was all that kept him with us. Kanen has told me that Covah, who was a follower of a dwarven god, is not following one of these four Pretenders. I fear nobody is safe from this menace.

    “I come to you tonight to pray you give strength to others. Those weak in faith will fall prey to these Pretenders. I pray that all shall see the Truth of these beings. I pray that Justice will be prevail over these false gods. I pray especially for my friends, whom I would find myself lost without. Their loyalty gives me strength.

    “In your name, may Truth and Justice prevail.”

    Kara sits for another minute in silence, letting her words echo in her head. She then got up and sat on the bed, pulling her diary, inkwell, and quill from her backpack. She opened the diary to a fresh page, and started to write.


  • ((OOC - Cera giving Kara the top is perhaps the most kind, loving, and WISE act I have ever seen her do. Yes, I think I have plans for this top to help Kara. We shall see…))

    Entry 59 -

    Another council meeting today. I tried to get this Dagger problem worked out. Almost did too, but then Vashere’s replacement turned around and declined the post. I think I understand his reasons though. I really wish Vashere didn’t leave. Oh well, make do with what we can.

    I returned to the gypsy camp and met up with Wilhelm. I told him about how Yohan contacted me for a final time and that Jade and Seven are in danger. Cera then joined us. I also talked him how the hissing voice almost claimed me again. Wil agrees that I need to figure out a way to control the Hatred. I told him that Fishel has a few ideas, and I was wanting to have Pip show me some meditation techniques that could help.

    Cera heard my problems, and then did the sweetest thing I ever saw her do. She gave me her toy top. Coin had given it to her to ease her when she missed Sakura and Mojo’s many voices became louder. She gave it to me to try to help me against my voice. I pretty much had tears in my eyes when she gave it to me. The way she always tries to make me happy… and calls me her Mommy… It just pulls the strings of my heart. She is very dear to me. I’ll be very sad if something happens to her.


  • ((OOC - Okay, I did the diary entry for last night. YAY! I'm all caught up on my diary entries! I was only able to catch up on the extra day by doing much of the previous entry on my lunch break.))

    Entry 58 -

    I sent a message to Fishel to have him visit me as soon as possible. The recent ordeal I had with that hissing voice really scares me. I need to have this Hatred and Anger in control, or else the consequences could be terrible. To think I almost lost my soul twice. That’s a fate worse than death.

    Unfortunately, I received a very short message back from Fishel. “GOBLINS ATTACKING NORWICK!” Still feeling some sense of duty to defend my former home, I decided to brave the Nars Pass alone. I figured if I was overwhelmed by bandits, I could always drink that potion of invisibility I bought. I didn’t need to use it though. My protective prayer chants kept any attackers at bay.

    As I came up to the walls of the town, I found Fishel was outside ready to meet me. He said he was about to head up to me, since the goblins have been taken care of. We both headed into town, and noticed a bandit followed us. Within a few minutes, the town was beseiged by bandits, who kept tossing kegs of black power to try to blow up the gate. There was a good battle that raged on, I fought a little of it, but then I returned to inside the town to help with some healing. When I headed back out of the gate, I found that the defenders had raised a wall of fire using much wood and oil. What a wonderful blockade it made. And Coin was credited with the idea.

    Seeing that the battle was over, Fishel and I headed to the Inn to talk. I told him about how that hissing voice tried to take me while I was caught in my Hatred and Anger. He agreed that this was dire news indeed and we discussed various possibilities about getting control over my Hatred.

    Yohan then started to speak to me. He startled me at first. Something was after him. He sounded scared and gave me a last warning that Seven and Jade were in danger. “The one who hunts is the hunter… the one who comes hunts...” Then I felt another presense. It seemed to speak, but the I could only make out a few words. But I think I know who it was. It was Caleb. I know this because the necklace grew so cold after it “killed” Yohan. Cold enough to freeze! I will never forget the cold I felt when that demon came after me. It’s obvious to me that Seven and Jade are in danger from this thing, especially since Cera and a few others told me they saw Caleb in Norwick looking for Jade. I also fear that we all may find ourselves against this demon. The words I heard it utter made it sound like all involved in this will find themselves dead.

    After I realized Yohan was gone, I started to break down emotionally again. I was helpless in trying to help Yohan, and now he’s gone. Not just dead, he already was that. What happens when you kill a spirit? Along with the hissing demon that is after me, my Hatred that consumes me, hell, EVERYTHING else that wants me… It’s just too much to bear sometimes. It’s a wonder I survive in any fashion at all.

    Fishel was a bit alarmed at my sudden depression. He did remind me that I’m not alone though. I have many friends who are always willing to come to my aid. Some I barely know, yet they will do anything for me. Take Gidush for example. He stopped by earlier and was saddened to hear that I’ve been threatened by various things. He said he would willingly put his life on the line for me. So many people have faith in me. In a way, that contributes to my depression, as I fear failing in their hopes of me. On the other hand, it means that I have people who will support me, back me up. They have faith in me. They believe in me.

    It’s time I started believing in myself.


  • _((OOC - Damn game and server crashes. I hate how much money I waste on food. I especially hate it when I crash within 5 minutes after resting, thus not only wasting the food, but also clearing me out of spells for the next 8 game hours. Not to mention if you travel to a place and the server crashes, you suddenly will find yourself at your starting town. Kinda ruins the mood; I'm a sucker for continuity. Thanks Braeth for porting me to Norwick.

    Okay, rant over. I invite you to check out the silliness that I just had to write before I did this diary. Chibi-Kara Theatre! will be a somewhat regular column where I break away from the seriousness of Kara's predicaments and try to explain things about the character in a fun, hilarious, and zany manner.

    Also, I apologize for how late this diary entry is. I just couldn’t think well enough to write it after doing the CKT. Of course, now I still have to write another day’s diary entry… I’ll manage somehow.))_

    Entry 57 –

    By Tyr, what a headache I have this morning. Yesterday was another bad day.

    It started out nice enough though. I started off the day with Wilhelm, we headed out to see a friend of his, Telyle. We did get to meet him south of Norwick. Wil, his friend, Janu, and another who I can’t recall were talking about going to hunt Skara down. Unfortunately, we were unable to do so. Wil and I returned to the gypsy camp.

    There we met up with Reginald and Janu. Together with Wilhelm, the three each told me that they're always willing to help me any way they can. We all then started joking about how I was their queen. I've got my own little army of doom! HA HA HA!! Okay, maybe not doom… It's my own personal army of Justice though, right? Or is it Just us? Hee hee. It was so good to joke around like that.

    I really do appreciate their friendship and loyalty. I may wonder sometimes why all these people put so much faith in me, but without all their faith, I'd feel empty.

    So, we decided to head back to Norwick. I forget why I wanted to go back there. Wait! I remember! We had decided to explore the crypts again. It's been a while since I've been in some real combat, and I don't want my skills to get rusty. Besides, I'm always up for a round of undead smashing. So after some quick rest and preparation, we four headed south for Norwick.

    As we neared the town, I heard a hissing noise again. It startled me for a moment, then I truly felt scared as I realized what I heard. The hissing voice was reaching out for me again. This time it was urging me to let myself go into my Anger. I refused to listen to it, and warned my companions of what the voice was trying to do. Disaster struck when we came up to the walls of Norwick. In the conversation I was having, something I began to say harkened to memories that drew the Anger forth.

    As usual, I don't recall what I said or did while I was consumed by the Hatred and Anger. I do have a couple of rememberances, though. I recall lightning striking me many times, which people did say happened. The lightning didn't hurt though, it seemed to fuel me. I also recall the voice was whispering to me the whole time. I'm not sure what it was saying, but I'm sure it was gleefully trying to get me to submit to it. When I started to get my senses back, I could hear it utter one last message to me as it faded away, telling me I should submit to it... telling me I am the chosen.

    As the Anger left me, I felt very tired and collapsed to the ground. I was so scared as I realized what almost happened. I almost lost my soul. I was so sad, frightened, and worn out. And embarrassed. Many people were gathered around me. How many think I'm crazy? I needed a drink and a more comfortable place to sit, so my friends suggested going to the Inn. Reginald offered his arm, which I took gladly and hugged onto. I hurt inside, sorely needing a friend, and Reginald is one of the best friends I could have.

    Wilhelm, Kanen, Janu, and Reginald took me to the Inn and promptly got me a few mugs of ale. They all got some drinks for them as well, though Kanen only had a couple. The rest of us got pretty drunk. I'm glad they all tried to lift my spirits. After I really got tipsy, Reginald and Kanen both could tell I needed some sleep, and thus escorted me to my room. I think I practically fell asleep on the way to the bed. After a few hours, I woke up from a disturbing dream. I exited my room and noticed Reginald was sleeping back at the stairway.

    Poor Reginald. The way he cares for me reminds me of a sad song my mother sometimes sang in her performances. A song about unrequitted love. I feel so guilty for breaking his heart like I do.

    I stayed up for a little bit talking to both Reg and Kanen, then headed back to bed.

    Hangovers aren't fun. Especially when your head hurts from a mental struggle you had before getting drunk.


  • Entry 56 -

    I started the day by meeting some new friends. However, I didn’t get to spend too much time with them because some old friends also stopped by the campfires. I talked with Wilhelm and Jade, telling starting to tell them the tale of how a demon tried to claim me. I got half way through the story when a bunch of people showed up, among them were Karion and Vrugar. Man, I haven’t seen those two in a long time.

    Adam Bromley, who also came with the group, then called for everybody’s attention. He then let another bard speak, who started to tell of how Rain, yet another bard, had taken offense at some critism and jests and stole the bard’s harp. Rain then started arguing with this man and pulled out his harp and tossed it into the fire and walked away. Adam was able to pull out the harp before it was damaged. The man that the harp belonged to was naturally upset, and in his anger did something stupid. He blasted a spell at one of the gypsies’ dogs and boasted that Rain will fine the same waiting for him. Of course, all the gypsies became angry at seeing this stranger cause harm to one of their dogs and started to chase him down and soon killed him.

    Then Reginald stepped into the gathering. I was quite shocked at what I saw. Before me stood Reginald in what appeared to be goblin hide clothing and carrying a very large axe. Half of his moustache was also missing. I then recalled Wilhelm mentioned something about Reginald not acting like himself after a recent death. Apparently, he lost his memories and believed himself to be a barbarian. I felt so bad for my friend. He didn’t like it when people started to call him Reginald, as he really didn’t believe he was that man. So I decided to try a different approach. I started talking about Reginald, telling of all the things that I cherished in my friend. Basically, I was trying to jog Reginald’s memories. Some people started to catch on and joined in by telling other memories they had of Reginald. But we just couldn’t fully penetrate into his memories, though I could tell we were getting somewhere. Then one of the gypsies, Kashana, knew what was needed. She started to play a song she and Reginald once sang. Reginald started to recognize the tune she played on her lyre, and soon started to remember and sing the words. Suddenly the song came pouring out of him, like a damn had burst open. Our friend, Reginald, had returned to us! He was quite surprised to find himself in the hide clothes and missing his moustache. He was always proud of that moustache. I’m just glad to have my friend back..

    I then approached Vrugar for a few minutes to say hello, as I hadn’t seen him in a while. The half-orc looks to be doing well. He said he recently moved to the camp, which is good news to me. Another friend I can hopefully visit!

    I returned to Wilhelm and Jade, and asked if they still would like to hear the other half of my tale. They did, and so we three returned to their shack for a quiet spot. Unfortunately, Jade started to feel ill and so retired to bed early. Wilhelm listened to the rest of my tale with intrest though. He feels so sorry for me to have gone through all I have. Again, he tells me that I’ve experienced many things that would have crushed other people’s spirits, yet I survived.

    Yes, I survived. But have I really? I still have this Anger that grips me. As soon as my thoughts wander to the person I hate, the Kara Willendt that everybody knows disappears and is suddenly replaced by a … well, I don’t know because I don’t even know it’s happening. My friends tell me I get very angry, hateful, and do a lot of screaming. Will my mind ever be healed?

    By Tyr, listen to me. Of course I’ll find a way through this. I must not give up Hope. Never.

    Wilhelm needed to get some sleep after my tale, and I must admit I felt tired too. It was odd, one minute I felt good and the next I’m suddenly a bit tired. So I left and returned to the camp and took a nap. After waking up, I felt like visiting Norwick, but there was nobody to travel with. Finally, after waiting around a bit, I decided to trust in my prayer chants to protect me, and if things got especially scary I’d use the potion of invisibility I bought many weeks ago. As soon as I left the camp, I ran into Call and some of his friends, who were just coming to the camp. After talking with them briefly, and being joined by Garen and Cera, we all decided to return to the camp. I would have liked to continue to Norwick, but the prayer chants I had cast were starting to fade and I didn’t want make the journey being unprotected.

    Garen… I still remember hearing bad things about that man. Vashere supsected he was allied with Vinessa, and I think Adam Bromley said the same thing. For all that I’ve seen though, he’s been a healer. A bit quiet and reserved, but otherwise not too bad of a person. But I do trust Vashere, and at least respect Adam, so I’ll keep my eye on this man.

    While we all talked, I started to feel tired again, like I really needed more sleep than that nap gave me. I began to wonder what had tired me out so much. Suddenly, I realized what. Feeling good one minute then tired the next when I was at Wilhelm’s? I must have slipped into my Anger. The only clue to me that I’ve fallen prey to it is that I usually feel a little tired from it. I must really rant and rave a lot to tire me out like this. Garen did give me an good piece of advice though. He said that I must learn to let go of the feelings I harbor until I need to use them.

    Let go of the anger and hatred… Sounds like a wise piece of advice for me. I’ll have to try to follow it. Although if this Hatred is anything like my Fear was, this will be easier said than done.


  • Entry 55 -

    I had been able to contact Vashere and got him to send me the latest copy of the charter for the Alliance. The charter raised a few questions in my mind about what to do with one of the sub-guilds, so I called an emergency meeting to discuss and decide what to do. There was a lot of debating, but I think we finally came up with a compromise. I still think we are going against Vashere’s wishes as far as that sub-guild is concerned, but if this is what the others want, then that’s what we go with.

    I also took the time to warn the others about what happened to me in the temple. Eledaar, Pip, and Kanen suspect that my hissing voice may be related to this certain ring that they came across. This would be the same ring that they were doing something with on the night that Justinia was possessed. Can’t say this soothes me any.

    Eledaar had started acting funny after discussing it. He had run out of the room at one point, saying he felt ill. He returned a short while later, but he didn’t seem quite all right. When we were ending the meeting, Kanen had mentioned a paladin of Tyr, Sarah Rimes I think her name was, who had suddenly started to follow Cyric. Eledaar reacted badly to this. It was like a hidden rage was trying to get out. He then dashed out of the room and a few minutes later we heard some banging noises from the direction of the Wizard Study. Pip investigated and found a note from Eledaar saying he had to go take care of something and help a friend. He also found a book that had some pages ripped out of it. It was a book of demon summoning. I really hope Eledaar does not do something foolish.

    After the stress of the meeting, I was whisked away to the elven campment for Cera and Coin’s bonding ceremony. It was a wonderful ceremony. Both looked radiant in their elven silk clothes. I wish the best to both of them.


  • _((OOC - Thank you Fishel for finally approaching Kara about her problem. I know everybody could see the change in her, but it seems like none were willing to step forward and point it out to Kara.

    Thanks also go to Mas for resurfacing an old problem. It's nice to get some plot from DMs.))_

    Entry 54 -

    Not a good day. Nope. Not one bit.

    I woke up today and headed to the Temple. There I met up with Fishel and Kanen. Kanen told us of some problems he’s having. It seems a Lady Aspera has put an enchantment on Cila. He said Cila seems to be normal again, but the enchantment is still there and she’s afraid something bad will happen if it’s removed. I then told both of how I finally got to talk to Seven. They were very happy to hear that.

    While talking about Seven and I, I must admit I started to feel a bit dizzy at one point. It was almost like I had dozed or just stopped paying attention for a few minutes. I was talking to Fishel and Kanen one minute, then the next I recall is I’m sitting on the floor with a slightly bruised hand and Fishel has his hand on my shoulder and asking me something… if I’m alright. I was bewildered at this. I felt fine, why the worry? Then they both told me that I just had a fit of anger.

    Me. Anger? Great, blind anger? Even now that I’ve seen some proof of it, I still find it hard to believe that I could be capable of it.

    Both Fishel and Kanen told me that I’ve been doing this, and today wasn’t the first time they’ve seen it. Fishel told me he saw it quite a few times since the day I had my amulet stolen from me. He even had me do a little experiment show me what I can’t see. He had me write my thoughts, first had me write about Cera, since she usually brings a smile to my face, and then I was to try to keep some of my thoughts on her to use as an achor and write about what I hate… about that BASTARD of a wizard! HE MUST DIE!! EVERYTHING I STAND FOR, HE IS AGAINST!! LOVE, HOPE, JUSTICE, LIFE… HE STANDS AGAINST THEM ALL! AN ABOMINATION HE IS! PAY HE MUST!!!

    So, I had done what he asked. I started to write about Cera, but then my memory stops, like I suddenly wasn’t paying attention. All I remember is at one point, Fishel asked me a question about Cera. After that, I only remember him stopping me from writing. He then showed me the paper, showing me what I wrote. What I saw sent a sinking feeling through my stomach. It started with my normal, flowing penmanship, but then the words became jagged and jerky, as if the letters themselves were filled with hatred and anger. If it wasn’t somebody I trust showing me this, I would seriously think that this is all a joke. The angry letters did not look like my handwriting at all.

    I just paused a moment and looked up at what I wrote. The angry writing again… And again I didn’t even realize I wrote it. If I didn’t purposely look back up, I’d have never known it was there. This scares and saddens me greatly. I really thought I was all better, no more overwhelming Fear. Instead, I’m now being overwhelmed by Anger and Hatred. Will I ever be normal again?

    As scary as this Hatred is, it’s nothing compared with what happened to me next. I’ve lost my mind and recovered, I’m sure I can do that again. But what I write of next scares me because I fear losing my soul. While Fishel was trying to figure a way to ease my pain, a lightning bolt struck the altar of Tyr. Fishel and I both thought that perhaps my god was trying to send a message. I approached the altar, and put my hand on it. Suddenly, I heard a hissing noise. It startled me enough that I jumped back from the altar in surprise. Fishel heard nothing, which shocked me more. I put my hand back on the altar, to see if I heard the noise from it, and I heard it again, but now it whispered, “Come.” This perplexed myself and Fishel. Come where? Still curious, I put both hands on the altar. This time I hear the words, “Come to me.” As soon as I hear them, waves of… of… pleasure… wash over me. I fell back from the altar, overcome by the sensations. It was quite an experience, my body still tingled for a moment afterward.

    I began to think about this. The voice that spoke to me, it seemed familiar. After thinking about it for a moment, I suddenly realized that it was the same whisper that tried to get me to drink the water from the well back when the town was fighting off the bandits. The thought scared me. Did it want me to go back to the well? Is there more trouble to expect from the well? I decided to approach the altar one last time, hoping to pick up some kind of clue. I put my hands on the altar and waited for a moment. Nothing was happening so I thought it was over. Before I could remove my hands though, the whisper almost screamed at me, “You belong to us.” Wave upon wave of pleasure filled me. I wanted to pull away, but some force held my hands down. The pleasure that racked my body kept increasing. In the back of my mind, I could feel a horrible thing reaching out for me. I cried out in horror, and Fishel tried to pull me away from the altar, without success. I gathered the little strength I had and also tried to pull away. Bolts of lightning again struck the altar, and suddenly we both were thrown back, free from whatever tried to grab me.

    It took me a few minutes to recover. My body tingled so much. Fishel and I decided to leave. I suggested we go to the gypsy camp, and he agreed. I went to my room to gather my belongings and also to give a prayer to Tyr. After I said my prayer, the room seemed so silent, but deep down I could feel a warmth in my faith. Tyr was with me. As we left the Alliance guild, I told Fishel to pass the word on that nobody should use the temple right now. The altar to Tyr needs a cleansing rite, in my opinion.

    We travled to the gypsy camp, fighting a few bandits on the way. When we got to the camp, I searched around and found Cera and Coin. We talked about the Anger that consumes me from time to time, and Coin started to try to figure out how to help me. Unfortunately, I was too tired to stay up and continue our talk, but I do hope somebody can figure out how to get my mind to be normal again.


  • ((OOC - I really like reading diaries from other characters and seeing how actions I make in the game affect others. Most notably in this regard are Cera and Coin. I hope others that I RP with enjoy reading my diary for the same reason.))

    Entry 53 -

    I sent a messager falcon to Seven, requesting to talk with her. I really needed to talk to her and tell her she’s still my friend. Thankfully, she sent back a reply that she would see me as soon as she finished traveling with some friends.

    So I sat and waited for Seven to come. While I waited a large group of visitors came to the camp. None would return my greetings though. No, wait, I think one did at least say hello. The rest blatently ignored me. A little while later, Coin and Cera showed up. It sounded like they were doing good, although Coin seemed a bit distracted by something. I wonder if he’s okay.

    Finally, Seven did arrive at the camp. I said goodbye to Cera and Coin. Seven and I headed over to the a shack in the camp so we could talk privately. As I expected, Seven started right away with apologizing to me. Even if I don’t hold any blame to her for what happened, I know she needed to say it for her own sake. I can’t imagine the guilt she, a priestess of Torm, must have felt, being forced to betray a friend. I think the closest thing I could come up with for me would be if I was forced to commit Injustice. After she said her apologies, I immediately told her that I still considered her a friend. It wasn’t her fault at all. I told her how I had felt guilty about it as well, since I was given warnings but didn’t realize their meanings until it was too late. She did feel better to see that I still wanted her as a friend. I also feel much better now that I’ve let her know. I was really worried about her. Jade, Seven, and I have been put through so much because of Devon. DAMN THAT WIZARD! THAT FOUL, BLACK-HEARTED WIZARD! HE DARES TO HARM US SO! HE WILL PAY FOR HIS DEEDS!!

    We also talked about the Alliance, as she said Kanen mentioned about it to her. I let her know about what was going on, and how I’d like for her to help out with the temple and possibly a council seat as well. She did say she’d be willing to help out as much as she can. It makes me happy to hear that. She also told me of how she’s been helping out at the Temple of Tyr at Peltarch. I really should go visit that temple again, I didn’t get a chance to see any of the caretakers on my last visit.

    After Seven and I parted ways, I sat by Wilhelm’s shack, hoping that he’d be coming home soon. I was in a real good mood from my chat with Seven, and I really felt like seeing other friends. I was in luck, for Wilhelm did indeed come walking home shortly after I sat down by the fallen tree in front of his shack. He and I had a wonderful chat. We talked about friends, and what it was about those friends that endeared them to us.


  • Entry 52 -

    Well, we just had a council meeting for the Alliance. Lots of debating and arguing. Looks like I'll be the figurehead for the Alliance. I do think that Kanen's right about me. I just don't see my strength sometimes. I've been through so much. Many people would not have been able to make it through some of the things I've seen.

    After the meeting, I rested and then headed back to the gypsy camp. I've been enjoying the restfulness and peace of the woods. I'm starting to feel better from it. Not quite as tired anymore.

    I got to see Cera again. It looks like she's doing okay. She wasn't too sick from that little trip to the land of colorlessness. She happily told me about how she had spoken to Calendall and he agreed to help out with the bonding ceremony. I'm so happy for her. I told her about the tailor in Norwick who I had gotten my dress from. I'm sure the old woman would love to make another dress.

    I do hope that Coin knows what he's getting into with bonding to Cera. He better prepare himself to be suddenly opened to her feelings. And considering that Cera may have multiple personalities, that could cause quite a headache I think. Bah, I'm sounding too negative. I'm sure Love will hold them together. It has so far.


  • _((OOC - I should've mentioned it before, but…

    When you see bold letters in the diary, Kara's lettering is very harshly written and not as neat as her usual penmanship.))_

    Entry 51 -

    I had a nice, brief chat with Adam Bromley today. He was surprised to see me in the gypsy camp. I'll admit that the camp is not a typical place for a priestess of Tyr, but I explained my reasons for moving and he seemed to understand. I told him about how I felt so weary from all that happened and needed to be with friends. He asked me what had happened to me, and I briefly explained about Devon and how that…that BASTARD MUST PAY!!

    Cera and Coin interrupted me from my conversation with Adam, with Cera giving me a wonderful hug. She asked if I was alright, she seemed to think I was upset at something. I reassured her that I was fine. Adam decided to leave, having things that needed to be done. Imphras then showed up. Cera and Coin announced to me that they wish to become bonded like Braeth and I. While we all talked, the conversation led to me remembering about good ol' Tyger and how he used to tell me camp fire stories. Cera then asked me to tell her a story. She suggested I tell about how Braeth and I fell in love, and this way I could also explain how we got bonded.

    Braeth also came by while I started the tale, and sat down to listen. He was still a bit surprised at how Cera calls him Daddy. I could sense, though, that he accepted it. Unfortunately, Imphras had to leave early, but he was enjoying the tale. Cera and Coin were too. Although I noticed that Cera was really staring at Braeth a lot.

    Suddenly, Cera screamed out at Braeth, calling him "Traitor." It was like she became a different person. I guess it's the part of her that still hasn't forgiven Braeth. She started to channel some magical energies, but they seemed to be harming her more than anything else. Silvery arcs of energy pulled her down, and we watched in amazement as the shadows seemed to open up and draw her in. Within a brief moment, Cera had vanished.

    We all were dumbstruck at what we had seen. I prayed for Tyr to keep Cera safe, whereever she may have gone. It chilled me to have witnessed that. Coin said she did it before, the same night at the well that caused me to go insane. It still troubled me. I just couldn't help but worry for her.

    In the same amazing manner that she left, Cera was spat back out of the shadows. She seemed to be alright, but she was sweating a lot and felt a bit warm to the touch. I told her to drink a lot and rest.

    I hope she's okay.


  • ((OOC - Wow! I've reached entry 50!! Amazing. I'm so proud of the fact that I've kept my goal for this diary, one entry per game session.))

    Entry 50 -

    My first few days living here have been nice. The whole atmosphere is more relaxed than Norwick. It's very soothing.

    I got to talk to Kanen. He had stopped by the camp hoping to see Cila. I've yet to meet her. We talked for a bit about various things. We both wondered if Seven was alright. Kanen mentioned some nasty rumors were being spread around about him. And somebody hired another man to seduce Seven because the hiring man said she was Kanen's girl. Heh. Talk about misinformed.

    Kanen also told me he plans to recommend and vote for me to replace Vashere as leader of the Alliance. He thinks I’d be good because I keep a cool head and think things through. He also says I have an inner strength. I know he speaks the truth, but I still can’t help but feel like a weak, little girl sometimes. Tyr wouldn’t have sent me back to the world twice if I wasn’t somehow special though.

    I then decided to find Jade and Wilhelm. I lucked out and found them easily enough. They invited me to see the shack they recently bought. It’s nothing grand, but it is a cozy place. After they get a little bit of furniture in there and decorate it, I’m sure it will be a great home for them. Jade offered me a nice mug of tea. What a flavorful blend, I’ll have to find out where she got it. Wilhelm came forward and talked about that woman Celeste. Just like I thought, he never did anything with her. She tried to seduce him, he refused, and now she’s just trying to get back at him with rumors. I never believed her for a second.

    I also saw Coin and Cera, who were also talking to Fishel. I’m so glad Cera treats me as a friend again, although it worries me how she’s reverted to acting like a child. She still has mixed feelings for Braeth. It seems that the child half of her sees him as Daddy, probably because he and I are basically married. The other half still sees him as a traitor who tried to take Coin away. She had a dream where she saw Daddy turn into a creature she calls Father, who took Coin away and killed him. Coin and Fishel think that if we had Braeth apologize to Coin in front of Cera, it may help her to forgive him. I think it’s worth a try. I’ll have to talk to Braeth about it.

    Later in the evening, Jade decided to head to bed. A few minutes after she left, we heard a scream from the cove where her shack is. Wilhelm, Reginald, Fishel and I ran over to the shack to make sure Jade was okay. We found her huddled in a corner like a frightened rabbit. When I got close and looked at her carefully, I noticed that her hair was slightly frosted and she was shivering. As if she was suddenly chilled. I asked what she saw that spooked her, knowing her answer before she said it. The black demon with a scythe. I reflexively shivered at my memory of the creature. It alarmed us all, knowing that the creature belongs to Devon. Fishel began to shout about how we should separate Jade and I, as Devon wants Jade and my amulet. Reginald went outside to make sure nothing was out there. Jade decided she really needed sleep so she went into her bedroom. Suddenly she screamed. We opened the door and found nobody was in the room. She just vanished.

    Wilhelm was distraught, as were the rest of us. Fishel kept going on about how we should have listened to him. I felt myself getting angry. Devon took her again. That BASTARD just can’t leave her alone. Just keeps causing us PAIN. I’m so SICK OF IT!! SICK OF HIS TAUNTING!! SICK OF HIS GAMES!! He DIGUSTS me so much. Tries to KILL MY FRIENDS! KIDNAP THEM! The way he toys with us, like it’s ALL A GAME TO HIM!! The way he FLAUNTS everything I HOLD DEAR!! HOW DARE HE MOCK MY LOVE!! MOCK MY HOPE!! I’LL KILL HIM!! HE’LL PAY FOR IT ALL!! HE MUST PAY!!!

    I wasn’t paying attention to what was going on while we sat there. I just remember some arguing and then Jade suddenly appeared next to me. Having her suddenly appear like that startled me out of whatever I was thinking about. I can’t quite remember what it was. I’m glad Jade did return though, and that she’s alright. She did seem disturbed about something though.

    Afterward we left Jade, and then it was only after being assured she would be alright, I spoke to Fishel alone. He wanted to tell me something that he thought would cheer me up. We had a nice talk about why evil doesn’t succeed while we good people do. Basically, it’s because we willingly help each other and our cooperation and sharing of talents adds up to a greater whole than the sum of it’s parts. Evil, on the otherhand, is only concerned with itself and thus is hampered even if it tries to work together because in reality it’s not working together. It was food for thought at least. I we also talked about how I felt lately and why I feel that way. He’s a good person to talk to, he listens well. If I do get voted as the leader of the Alliance, I’ll be glad to know the Temple will be put in his hands. Of course, I’m still going to keep doing some work with the Temple, I will never really abandon it.


  • ((OOC - Yes, Reg, she has some fire in her. And it's growing…))

    Entry 49 -

    I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Before I always felt that I'd be staying in Norwick, as I had found great friends there. It was home to me. However, I've been recently been feeling lonely. Many of my friends have moved since the roads have been opened up. With recent events that have happened to me, I've really felt like I need to be with them. I also think that some of them need me, especially Cera.

    So, I've decided to move from Norwick. It's not a complete farewell, though. I do plan to visit, there are still some friends in the town after all. Friends like Covah, who was kind enough to escort me to my new home.

    So where did I move to? Well, I noticed that a good number of my friends are at the gypsy camp. Wilhelm, Jade, Reginald, Cera, Coin… Plus, the camp is close to the Alliance guildhall. Plus, it reminds me of staying out in the woods with good ol' Tyger. I've felt tired inside lately. My heart aches from all that I've been through. I think living here in the gypsy camp will help me relax.

  • I

    Jenkies!

    Kara's got some fire in there!

    I'm glad I could think of something on short notice, it helps to know Mythology 😄

    Man! telling a story from memory at the drop of a hat is scary!

    Glad it worked out and fit so well into Kara's experience.


  • _((OOC - Wow! This was perhaps the best night of RP I've had ever. Damn, Kara sure gets emotional at times. I actually needed a tissue or two a few times.

    In a way, I wish the events at the cavern happened another night instead, because I was really looking forward to a very depressed Kara try to write a diary entry. Oh well, this diary entry should still be a very good read.

    BTW, Reginald. It was uncanny how well your story fit the situation Kara was in. It really did mirror her problem and helped to start the process of drawing her back out of the catatonic state she was in. I'm very impressed with you, who wasn't there at the beginning of her ordeal.))_

    Entry 48 -

    How could I have been so blind? I didn’t see what Yohan’s warning meant until it was too late. “Watch your friends.” I feel like such a failure. “Seven’s the lock, I’m the key.” How could I have been such a fool! Damn that black-hearted wizard!

    Today, I started the day at the Alliance hall. I met Fishel there and we decided to head to Peltarch for a play at the new theatre. Unfortunately, we never got there. A messenger falcon dropped down to me, with a message tied to it’s leg. She asked if she could come to Norwick, she urgently needed to speak to me. Fishel and I immediately turned around and headed south. We met up with Seven just outside of town. She took me to the upstairs of the Friar’s to talk privately.

    She told me of how she was having nightmares about a black demon with cobalt blue eyes and carrying a scythe. We all die. Obviously the same creature that haunts Jade’s dreams and the same creature I faced when Yohan had me travel to Thay in spirit form. She mentioned that she has found out a way to fight the creature. I knew what she was going to say before she spoke it. My amulet. She said Rashid could feel a great power in the amulet and that it was blessed by a god. She asked if I would give it to her so she and Rashid could have it. The fact that I’ve used the amulet to represent my Love and Hope must have some bearing on it too.

    And I was a fool! I gave it to her, wanting to see this creature ended. Who could I not? Seven and Jade are both friends who needed my help. She left the Friar’s and I stayed a moment, giving a short prayer to Tyr that this would work. Suddenly I heard the voice of Devon’s puppet in my mind, taunting me for being so predictable and a fool. I felt a chill as I heard her voice, and snapped back at her. I then left the Friar’s and saw how foolish I just was.

    I stood in shock as I watched Seven hand my amulet to Devon’s puppet. I couldn’t believe that Seven was betraying me. I felt my stomach twist up inside. Then the puppet left, and Seven seemed confused as to why she was leaving. She suddenly fell to the ground and started to have spazms. And Devon’s puppet then taunted me some more, gleefully driving home the fact that I just let Devon have what he wanted. I just tried to ignore him, knowing that if I started to talk back I’d only become angry, my hatred for him pounding in my head.

    I ran over to Seven, somehow knowing in my heart that she wasn’t to blame. She stopped twitching, and woke up, dazed and confused. I told her how what she remembered, and told her I saw her give my amulet to the puppet. She was devestated at what she had done. I started to run about town, looking for the wizard’s minion. She taunted me more, saying that I won’t be able to find her. After a few minutes of frantic searching, I knew she was right. I then tried to find Seven again, but she left, too distraught at what she did.

    My amulet… My Hope... I gave it away to that fiend! Just then I could feel Yohan’s spirit approaching, which deepened my sorrow. I failed him. Failed to realize his warning. However, Yohan wasn’t mad. He understood. He knows his master is very deceitful. He told me not to blame Seven, but I already had forgiven her. Can she forgive herself though? I asked Yohan if there was anything I could do to fix my mistake. Of course, he answered back in a riddle, then left. “Two creatures, one of light, one of darkness, joined as one in flesh. You know them, Soul of light, Soul of darkness. Bonded as one in love.”

    I tried to look around town again, wanting a friend. Needing a friend. Fishel had gone south to do battle with goblins. Nobody else was around that I knew. My sadness grew. Finally, I saw Janu. I broke down and started crying as I told him what happened. He tried comforting me, but I still felt terrible. Fishel and Kanen then showed, and Braeth… and finally Jade. I repeated the tale several times, each time hurt more than the next. All I could feel was sorrow, failure, and hatred of Devon.

    Damn that wizard! He’ll pay for what he did! I’ll make him pay!

    It was seeing Jade that really made me feel bad, and my sobbing grew. She held me and also tried to comfort me. It was nice, but I still couldn’t shake the sadness from me. She then left, saying there was someone she needed to see. Braeth also had gone to do something. Kanen, Fishel, and Janu then started wondering where Seven was, worried for her. She probably was feeling the same despair that gripped me. Thinking about her made he feel even worse. My feeling engulfed me, it hurt so much. My mind seemed to come to a halt, overcome with my grief. It was a relief in a way, for I stopped feeling. Couldn’t feel my grief. Couldn’t feel my pain. Just nothing. I almost felt like the world wasn’t even there. I was just barely aware of my surroundings. It didn’t matter to me.

    My friends then started to leave. I’m not sure why they did, I recall hearing Seven’s name mentioned. I quietly followed, out of reflex. These were my friends, I should stay with them. I heard one ask me something… I think he asked what I was thinking. Reflexively, I responded and told him the truth. Nothing. The other two then hugged me. I just responded with my thanks. Something in me knew it was a good gesture. They talked for a bit while I just stood there, with no thoughts running through my head. Their voices just sounded like babbling to me. It didn’t matter. I didn’t care. Then a name broke through the babble and made itself clear to me.

    Cera.

    Hearing the name brought memories of her. I missed her hugs. I wanted to see her. Needed to see her.

    I must have said something, because somebody started to talk to me, repeating Cera’s name. Yes! Cera, I wanted Cera! I needed Cera. Her hugs... her smile... her laughter... The person then asked another question... could I fight? Fight? Yes... fight... don’t let the Fear make me run, FIGHT INSTEAD!

    They again started walking, and I followed. One headed in another direction, but I stayed with the other two. Something in me told me that they were taking me to Cera. Others lept out to attack us, tried to hurt us. FIGHT! MUST FIGHT! Others fell down, left us. We continued. Soon I was hearing music.

    Then somebody hugs me, I barely acknowledge him. Then I hear Cera’s voice! She runs over and hugs me, calls me “Mommy.” It was great to hear her again, have her hugging me again. She always brings a smile. The rest of the world didn’t matter, just me and Cera. People kept talking around us. The word, “hope,” lept up from what they were saying. Something in me stirred at the word, like a forgotten memory. Someone speaks, tells another to tell a story. Another stirring. Story, I want a story. A story about Hope.

    The storyteller, I think it was Reg. Yes, it was Reg. He told a wonderful story. It was about how a god was jealous of how well off man was when the world was created. He made a box and put awful things in it, then gave it to a little girl. Another god saw it and tried to warn her, but she still opened the box. The girl then felt awful as she saw that she released War, Sickness, Anger, Hate… all the evils of the world. The story seemed to mirror my ordeal, how I gave the amulet to Devon despite Yohan’s warning. Reginald then told of how the girl found a small little thing left in the box. Hope. It was small, and without neglect it would have died. But the little girl held it, kept it warm, and it grew in her care.

    Hope. Can’t abandon Hope.

    Suddenly, an imp started to fly around us. It taunted us, taunted me. Suddenly my quiet mind started screaming in rage. DEVON! Anger, I felt much anger. And hatred. Hatred for DEVON!! Then his puppet shows up. Again taunting. I start to step forward, brandishing my weapon. Fishel held me back. The puppet asks us to follow her, so we could see our folly. The others thought it to be a trap. I didn’t care. I followed her, my hatred seething in me. The rest followed.

    The puppet led us inside. She then gloated more, and then called out to summon something. The cave grew dark, very dark. A large form stepped out of the darkness. The demon! The one that I faced, that haunts Jade and Seven!! The puppet tried to give the demon my amulet. I called out for everybody to stop her. A flash of light burst, and then the puppet asked what was wrong. The demon then cried out for his Love. It wanted… Jade. Jade was it’s Love? The demon and puppet argued, and sometimes the demon taunted us. Fishel slipped over and grabbed my amulet and handed it to me. What relief I felt upon having it. At one point, the demon looked like it would fight us, but it became insulted as the puppet tried to command it. The demon killed the puppet, and left.

    We soon left too, as the cave started acting funny, having a few quakes. I’m so glad I got the amulet back. Glad that Devon failed. He failed! He again underestimated Love! AND HE CALLS ME THE FOOL!! Oh, but he will pay in the end. Yes. He’ll pay. He hurt me this day. He’ll pay for the pain. Pay for MY PAIN! Pay for MY FRIENDS’ PAIN! THE BASTARD WILL PAY!!!

  • G

    :shock: Hes moving to where Coin and Cera are.


  • ((OOC - Cera always does something that throws me for a loop. Calling me "Mommy" was just too much! Poor Cera.))

    Entry 47 -

    I dreaded getting up this morning. I feared what Coin’s trial would do to Cera. I also had a hard time believing that Coin was as bad of a person as this trial was out to make him. I headed out of the inn, and went to find Braeth. It wasn’t too difficult to find him, he was over by the guard platform by the north gate. He was with Rashid and Karli, and another elf, named Sil I think. Karli and Rashid seemed to be arguing about something, and then both stormed off angry at each other.

    Wilhelm then entered town with Cera of all people! I guess she wanted to see the trial for herself. She really yelled at Braeth. He tried to explain himself to her, but I think he was doing more harm than good. I also sensed that even if Coin was proven innocent, his troubles with Braeth wouldn’t be over. It felt like Braeth was hiding something.

    Rashid called Braeth over, and told him that he’s dropping the charge doing with poisoning Karli. She basically told him not to do it. Braeth got very upset. He quit the militia right there, throwing down his papers. All because he thinks Justice is not being served. His attitude was starting to piss me off. He’s damning Coin to be this person as evil as Vinessa when the whole Truth isn’t known! We exchanged a few words, and then he stormed off. Wilhelm went after him, with the hopes of calming him down.

    While Braeth talked to Rashid, Cera started calling me, “Mommy.” It was nice to see her not angry at me, but to see her in such a state that she’s reverted into acting like a child really struck me senseless. I don’t think I ever realized before how shattered her mind is. I knew from the first day I met her that she wasn’t fully sane, but to this level? It’s terrible that such mental illness has struck such a sweet person. Cera and I tried to find Adam and Coin to tell them the news about the trial, but we were unsuccessful. I ended up parting with her at the tavern.

    Later, I travelled back to the Alliance hall, wanting to pray at my temple. Things were just going too crazy, especially with Braeth. I know he’s doing what he thinks is for the Greater Good, but I just can’t agree with it. Braeth came in just as I was praying, figuring that I’d be there. He and I still argued a bit, and I could tell he still wanted to do something to Coin. He just couldn’t let it go. We both left the temple and ran into Fishel. Fishel and I both tried to talk Braeth into not taking further action against Coin. It was a long talk, but we were successful in the end. I think. Coin just better watch himself and not get Braeth angry again. Fishel and I then talked, about his past, about my overcoming my Fear, a few other things too.

    It looks like Braeth wants to move. He’s sick of the town. He’s considering moving to the gypsy camp. Not a bad choice really, it suits his personality better. We also have a lot of friends that moved there, and it’s closer to the Alliance Hall. I guess I can live there.