3. Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress

Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress


  • Entry 47

    The south gate of Norwick has seen a lot of fighting lately. Bugbears, goblins, hobgoblins, drow…

    It's worrisome.

    Oh, and I gotta be more careful about shapeshifting near town. I spooked a newcomer into attacking me when I changed into my half-cat form. He started shooting at me, since I was a monster. And while I'm flattered that everybody else was willing to defend me and threaten the man, I feel bad.

    Let's be honest here. I am a monster. Right? Perhaps not the mind nor the heart of a monster, but I have the form of one.

    I think I should make sure people don't hold any grudges against that fellow.


  • Entry 46

    Jerrick wasn't around today. That's probably for the best, right?

    Undead were attacking the south gate. Lots of stinking zombies and a farking huge one. It turns out there was some Thayan wizard behind it all. He didn't like it when I tossed some dispels at him, he lobbed a fireball back at me. Unfortunately, he got away. We'll get him next time.

    I did get to talk to that "cat" woman I wrote about. Soleil is her name. She's very nice. It turns out she has some feline mannerisms because she grew up in a temple full of them. She worships Nobanion, who is a god of felines and royalty. I do find her interesting, and she is very accepting of me being a werecat. Another good friend, I hope.


  • Entry 45

    While I've stayed out of trouble, it seems that Jerrick fell head first into it. He ran into cultists of some "Mad God" and they used mind magics to have him attack friends. Luckily, they were defeated and Jerrick was freed from their spell, but he was in bad shape afterward. Cursed and under the effects of some nasty draining magic.

    Later, I ran into Uljas and we spent some time together. Nothing serious. One thing I really love about Uljas is his care free attitude. Of course, it's not like he has no cares at all. He simply lives life in the moment and doesn't trouble himself over what has happened or what will happen until he needs to worry about it.

    When I returned to town, I sat down with Jerrick at the south gate and talked with others. I ended up falling asleep against him. I don't exactly remember what happened in my dream, but it was turning into one of my nightmares. I do remember that Jerrick suddenly showed up in it when it was getting bad and helped turn things around. I wonder if he comforted me in my sleep and my mind unconciously picked up on that?

    <g>FARK.</g> Do I really want to go down this line of thought? Yes, I love him. I came to terms with the fact that he has Feather. Just because she's left doesn't mean I can step in, right? I mean, look at how long it took for him to move on from Kaetlyn. And she did eventually return. What would Feather think if she returned and found me with him.

    Somehow, I feel that she wouldn't be surprised. Does that make it okay? The thought of hurting her makes me feel guilty about it.

    When I decided to head back home to have a soak in the hot spring, I was very, very tempted to pull Jerrick along with me. Hell, I might have if Ronan wasn't there. I'm sure he'd have scolded me after. I can tell he doesn't like how much I cling to Jerrick as it is.

    The look in Jerrick's eyes when I left made one thing clear to me. He'd have followed if I did try.

    <g>FARK.</g> Maybe I should just get this over with and talk to him.


  • Entry 44

    Those Malarites we defeated before had their hunt again. This time, we were the prey.

    Or so they thought. We ended up hunting them down instead. Granted, we had the advantage of knowing the woods we were in. Any of us could probably walk through the woods near Norwick in the dark and not stumble over anything. Even those of us without elven night vision. The Malarites did put up a nasty fight though, their arrows were especially nasty. I had to consume a few of my powerful healing potions, and Badger was bleeding so much at a few points that I'm surprised he was still standing.

    They'll be back; we simply defeated a hunting party sent by the high priestess. Yes, I'm a little troubled at the thought that if we only faced a hunting party and it was this nasty, how bad will the high priestess's entourage be?

    Ah well, I got a nice armor out of it. Very sturdy studded leather. It'll protect me well, but I'll have to keep an eye on my spellcasting. I'll admit I'm sometimes jealous at priests and druids with how they can cast in the heaviest of armors without a problem where my armor restricts my hand motions. But, they have to pray daily for their spells, whereas I have the magic in my blood. I suppose I shouldn't complain.

    I'm still a bit confused and upset that Feather has left. She didn't say any goodbyes, no notes explaining why. She simply is gone. She didn't even tell Jerrick. It makes no sense to me. Why? Regardless of her reasons, I pray Selûne will guide her on her path and she finds what she needs. I'll miss her. It's been a while since anybody felt so much like a sister to me.

    Jerrick is taking it well. What's done is done and he'd rather focus on other matters than get worked up over her disappearance. Oh, he cares for her and misses her, I know it. But he'd rather not get all moody and have people think he's losing his mind.

    Except with me. He's not afraid of letting me see it. He feels guilty that he pours his troubles on me. I don't mind it so much, I've dumped a lot of crap on him as well. We help each other get through the day. He vents about thing to me, I give him a comforting hug and make him feel better. Or vice versa. It's like we are sou l m .

    Oh Selûne help me. It's not going to be easy with Feather gone.

    ((OOC: In case it's not apparant, the last word of the second to last paragraph is incomplete, like she stopped writing in the middle of it.))


  • Entry 43

    I feel like such an ass right now. Idiot. Why did I do that to Badger? I didn't mean to hurt him, but I know I did. That's what I get for talking before thinking first. I wonder if this is how Jerrick felt when he asked "that" question.

    And Dwin's gone and banned Badger from town, too. He holds him partly responsible for Jaelle. Ugh. I'm tempted to talk this over with Dwin, but I'm not sure I feel like adding to my headache. Not sure if Badger would really appreciate it either.

    I ran into an interesting woman today. She kind of acts like a cat, which really caught my attention. My first thought, of course, was to wonder if we had another werecat. I didn't smell it in the air though, so maybe she just really likes cats? I didn't see any symbols of Sharess on her. I'll have to satisfy my curiosity and talk to her more.


  • Entry 42

    Damn, these nightmares are really getting annoying. Maybe I'm too stressed out? Could it be more than just stress and dealing with too much crap that reminds me of my days with the Dark Enchantress? I'm making Jerrick concerned. I spent the whole day with him. I could tell he's worn out. At least he doesn't seem to be as ready to snap as he was getting before.

    Only around him do I feel comfortable enough to talk about all this. He doesn't judge me, and I can tell he really does care for me. Sure, I wish that his caring for me could be more, but I've gotta live with the cards I've been dealt. I do wonder what Sis would think of all this. I do feel a bit bad that every time I talk about my problems, he keeps feeling like he should do something but he doesn't know what. It's not exactly your everyday kind of problem.

    No, there's no easy solution, but we'll find one. Either through dreamwalking or if that fails he'll deal with the Fae for me.

    Though, that could get messy. Take a look at Adriell. She took a couple week trek through the Fae lands and it turned out to be a few years for the rest of us! So what are the chances of there being some drawback to having the Fae fix my head?

    Pretty much a sure thing.

    Alright, I know Fae aren't bad. The problem is that they are, by nature, unpredictable. They probably make perfect sense to each other, but to us mortals, they are precocious. If we go for that solution, it'll have to be a last resort, I think.


  • Entry 41

    We've had a number of old faces come back. Funny how that happens every once in a while. There was that halfling warrior, Dietrick. He's as odd as ever. And Atel is back, she tells me she's converting to worshipping Torm. At least it's not Helm. Oh, and did I mention that Adriell is back? I'm glad to see her.

    I've been having nightmares again. It's gotta be from all the crap that has been bringing up bad memories. Makes the headaches worse though.

    I ran into Arlan, and asked how he's doing. He had his problem resolved, though it sounds like maybe it's not. Now I can't say for sure, I'm only going on the information given to me about how he solved his issue and his mentioning having an odd feeling in the back of his mind. My instincts say, "Keep an eye on him."

    That's all for now, I want to get some sleep.


  • Entry 40

    Thorn won the archery contest at Fight Night again. Damn, he's good with that bow. Unfortunately, this won't make four in a row since he missed the last Fight Night. I guess he can just try from start again, right?

    I didn't stick around for the boxing or team fights. I wanted to, but I felt tired and had a bit of a headache. I hope I'm not getting sick again.


  • Entry 39

    Hatred. Anger. Revenge.

    Once upon a time, that was all that mattered to me. They were guiding me on a path of destruction that surely would have seen an early end to my life. If not for those who refused to give up, I am certain I would have died long ago. Instead, I live. I have been given a chance to redeem myself, and I would like to think I have, except possibly with one thing which I hope to rectify soon.

    I see a lot of my old self in Jaelle's life. She, too, let herself be consumed by Hatred, Anger, and Revenge. She let herself go down that path, pushing away those who cared. She brought herself to a bloody and firey end, blowing herself up along with those she wanted to kill. Looking at the wreckage of the tavern in Oscura, I could not help but feel overwhelmed on seeing what I could have become and how I could have ended.

    I was one who tried to help chase her down. I hoped we could stop her. I wish I could have somehow helped her pull away from what she was doing. I know she would not have listened to me. The only one who had a chance was Badger, and she pushed him away.

    May her spirit find rest and her rage die away like the fires that eventually burned out.


  • Entry 38

    I wish I could say that things have quieted down some in the woods with Eggbutt gone, but really there are too many other problems. Like that "burning man" fellow who's burning animals and apparently sent burning skeletons at the south gate and wall. The town almost lost the wall to the fire, I gather.

    I met an interesting hin in the woods. Nice fellow, but clumbsy on his feet. I saved him from a corpse beetle that was chasing him all over the woods.

    Oh, and Thorn's getting better at his magic. Well, relatively speaking. He tried to make some seeds grow to demonstrate to me how he's been doing. And the plants grew. Actually, they grew too well. Vines started to crawl all over me. I managed to slip out of a lot of them but they finally snagged me good.

    So, at least he has found how to tap into his magic. Now he needs to work on control. I'll try to come up with some good pointers for him.


  • Entry 37

    Ugh. I feel sick today, so I decided to just stay in. I don't think it is anything serious. Just a fever and sniffles. I should be back on my feet and getting into trouble in no time.

    Since I had nothing better to do, I took some time to read back through this diary. I haven't really done that yet. I just write out my thoughts and leave it at that. So it's been interesting re-reading what I've gone through. I've come to two conclusions.

    First, I do owe Siri a thank you for the diary. It has been good for me. I expect I will get an "I told you so" from her.

    Second, I really can't bring myself to write about a certain issue I have. All that talk of not hiding, and I still hide. Why can't I bring myself to write it down? It's not like anybody reads this book, right? Am I so afraid that it will get stolen and my secret exposed? Is my guilt so heavy? Or would it really be all that bad if it was exposed?

    The family and friends I have told have all been supportive and understanding. They comforted me and some offered to help. They think I'm a good person and haven't done wrong. But then I hear Nalra's words dig at me. Even though I know he was probably just trying to rile me up, they bother me. I've said similar words to myself.

    And then Benji's initial reaction sticks in my head. Just looking at the facts, it's pretty clear that this is one seriously messed up and crazy situation. He made me realize just how insane I sound.

    I'm hoping Lycka and her tribe's dreamwalker can help. At the same time, I'm afraid to hope too hard. I've already had it happen that I get close to finding a conclusion only to have it taken away.

    Alright, I'm starting to overthink this and it's making my head hurt. Time to sleep for now.


  • Entry 36

    Another fun Fight Night. I took part in the archery contest again. The first round went well for me. The second, however, I was sure I was outclassed. Luke was one of the opponents and I've seen him to be an accurate shot. He was beating me too until his last shot, when somehow the wind steered his arrow off and it missed the target.

    I managed to land third place, which I'm happy for. I got a rough spell crystal as a prize. I've been wanting one ever since I saw RoRo playing with one. Yngdir took second place and Thorn took first. That's the third Fight Night in a row that Thorn claimed the first prize in archery. I have to admit I'm pretty impressed.

    Boxing could have gone better. I was up against Val, who of course wasn't at all distracted by my skimpy outfit. I probably should have unleashed my rage sooner against her.

    Team fights went alright too. I was teamed up with Grog and Val. We at least got third place. Belmar won it for his group; go sorcery!

    Benji's really looking happy. Whoever this Talyna is, she certainly seems like she's a good girlfriend for him I guess.

    I also bought a new necklace! After Fight Night, Luke was showing off a very pretty necklace that looked to be blessed by Selûne. He was looking to sell it and I decided to buy it. I'm sure it'll make Aelthas a little jealous. I probably overpaid for it. However, it's better that I paid extra gold for it instead of letting him sell it to an Umberlant who would desecrate it. I did bargain the price down some, offering a kiss as part of it. Just don't tell Aelthas about that, okay? I would NEVER hear the end of it from him.

    And yes, Luke's a good kisser.


  • Entry 35

    We finally killed Eggbutt. No more troblins. No more funky magics that change people. Of course, other problems will replace him, like Ugog coming back.

    It was quite a nasty adventure in some ways. The last batch of troblins that got sent to attack the town emitted this funky smoke that made us all sick to our stomach. And then we all started rapidly shapeshifting between random forms for a few minutes every now and then. By Selûne, that was painful. Not as painful as what I felt when the Dark Enchantress's collar was removed from my neck, but still quite painful and very unpleasant.

    I really have no desire now to try that polymorph potion to see what another form is like. I'm quite happy with feline.

    Two problems however, upon Eggbutt's death. First, Ugog was wanting to get his old hold back, so I guess we did the work for him. He gave a bunch of ore as a tribute for our work. I gave it to the Union and told Dwin I want it used for the town.

    The second problem is that a certain devil woman showed up after Eggbutt was killed. It took me a moment, but I recognized the face and the red hair. Jerrick's ex-fiance. Or rather, the devil she became. She thanked us for killing Eggbutt too. I think she made off with whatever artifact Eggbutt was using. No good will come of it, I'm sure.

    I'm tired, I'm gonna soak in my hot spring then get to sleep.


  • Entry 34

    Jerrick performed surgery on Danika today. I mean real "cut her open" surgery. You don't often see healers do that, everybody relies so much on healing spells. Ironically, that's sort of what caused Danika to lose her voice to begin with. From what Jerrick told me, she had a sickness as a kid that caused her voice muscles to bleed, like they were wounded. When healing magic was applied, she stretched those muscles the wrong way so the wounds healed wrong. So Jerrick had to cut open her throat and then the voice muscles so that they could be healed the right way.

    It must have been nerve wracking. One wrong slip and she could have died. After everybody left and I was alone with Jerrick, he just slumped against me. He finally let the stress of it all hit him then, I think. I could see his hands shaking.

    To everybody else, he hides behind a mask of strength. Not with me though, he doesn't hide his emotions like he does with the others. He's an open book to me, and I think I am with him too. Part of me wonders, does he show this side of himself to just me, or does Feather see it too?

    That's a loaded question, eh? I think I'll keep it to myself and let it stay unanswered.


  • Entry 33

    Had a nice chat with Celad. As I have commented before, it's nice to see more Selûnites about. Celad was telling me about his life before Narfell. It's interesting to see how we Selûnites seem to be people who don't fit in. I suppose it makes sense when I think about it. It's us people who don't fit in, who are abnormal, who tend to wander. We wander to find a place we do fit in. And Selûne's light guides us.

    Benji, Belmar, and I went out into the woods to help Uljas find some birch. We found plenty of trees, but not birch. After, Belmar wanted to check out a hobgoblin cave because he and some others fought undead in it. The more powerful of the undead escaped by passing through a cavern wall; there's probably something on the other side. What really scared me though, was when Belmar mentioned the undead were using black leaves to bring dinosaur bones to life. And re-reanimate other undead.

    <g>FARK.</g> Jerrick is gonna be pissed to hear this.


  • Entry 32

    I ran into another person who is just discovering sorcery and is having problems coming to terms with it. Zander is his name. He said he was hit by lightning and now has some lightning magic. I need to talk with him further, I got pulled away before I could dispense any useful advice.

    Which reminds me, I need to also find out how Elidor is doing. Every time I have seen him I was too busy to talk with him.

    I wonder if Thorn's doing any better with his magic too.


  • Entry 31

    Jerrick was in a good mood today. I wonder what had him so happy. From talking to Ronan yesterday, I'd have expected to find a grumpy druid. Far from it. Of course he was glad to see me and gave me a nice bottle of Silverymoon Ruby along with a hug.

    Yeah, I could tell Ronan didn't like it. I don't give a damn. I'm hugging him.

    Ronan suggested the three of us go out and patrol the woods. Honestly, it was a good idea. We haven't done anything together in a while. Though I think Thorn was a little put off by me heading off. Now, I know he told me there's a militia woman who's got his interest, but sometimes I wonder if he's actually interested in me. Maybe I'm being silly, but here and there I have noticed him show concern and interest. Bah, it's probably just him seeing me as a good friend.

    He is a handsome elf though.

    So Jerrick, RoRo and I went out to fight hobgoblins. They didn't stand a chance, even the stronger ones. Even Fayt came to lend a paw and jaw. After cutting our way through the hobgoblins we figured to go deeper and see the harpies and wyverns. Again, they didn't stand a chance.

    It was the sudden attack by bullettes that we had us staring death in the face. Three of them erupted from the ground, surrounding us. Jerrick and I pounced at once. They tore into him, wounding him badly. I was afraid of losing him. I wished I didn't push my rage out earlier, it would have been handy then. Still, I fended off two of the landsharks while Jerrick pulled back to heal himself. Ronan's spells were invaluable too. In the end, we came back to town with their shells. Maybe one of the Wolves can try making something out of them.

    Some time after Jerrick and Ronan left, the town gate was attacked by a vampire archer. He was a quick and deadly shot with the bow, his arrows stung with acid. He said he was trying to teach us a lesson. Really, all he's doing is playing with his food. I have to say, Benji can be one fearless fellow. While we all huddled behind the town walls, Benji would pop around the corner, fire off a couple of shots with his crossbow, and duck back as the archer returned fire. I made my way over to him and cast spells on him to help keep him safe. We finally were able to charge at him. We had him on the run, he tried getting away but I finally pounded him into the ground. Unfortunately, he turned right into mist. So we'll see him again.

    As we returned to town, we ran into a gnome who was looking for the archer. Turns out he was another vampire. We chased him around for a bit. He was able to run away though.

    Damn vampires. I think I'll see if I can't get my hands on some scrolls with holding magics. Hold them in place so we can stake them.

    Oh, I gotta remember that Feather wants to talk to me. Maybe I can invite her over to my den?


  • Entry 30

    So RoRo and Aelthas are worried about Jerrick. They think he's gotten too aggressive and proud. Honestly, I do see how he's been more aggressive lately, but I've also seen him try to play peacekeeper. And proud? Not sure about that. It's more like he feels he has to take on the problems of all Narfell. "Like Aramuil does," RoRo said. But it's not the same as Aramuil. He does it out of ego. Jerrick does it because he feels like he needs to and that he's expected to. The problem is that it's stressing him out. And that makes him irritable. I know this because I have sat with him and let him talk out his problems to me.

    And don't hug him? Seriously, I doubt my hugging Jerrick is making him prideful. The hugs are as much for me as they are for him. Deep in my heart I want to do more than hug. I want to kiss. To say, "I love you." To… How does Maya say it? "Drag out to middle of field and have way with." Let me have my hugs, Ro. I may have made my peace with how our relationship is, but that doesn't mean I've stopped loving him any less. And all I can do is hug.

    I don't think anybody except Jerrick and Feather truly understand how much I feel for him.

    My big worry is that RoRo and Aelthas want to have us all sit down with Jerrick and talk to him about all this. Personally, I worry we'll make him shut us out instead.

    Bah. This is putting me in a grumpy mood.

    At least Uljas gave me a few laughs today. I also asked him how Belia feels about him having multiple wives. He says that she's alright with it as long as he asks for her permission before marrying others. That makes some sense. Still not sure how I'd feel.


  • Entry 29

    Another Selûnite! It looks like Aelthas's shrine is attracting more of us. Chae's a sorceress, too. She seems like a decent person, one trying to make a new life. I hope to see more of her.

    I wish that I had more good news to talk about. Telli passed away. She was a dwarven priestess of Chauntea. I didn't know her well, except that she was a very skilled adventurer. Feather told me how they were in the bugbear caverns. Telli wanted to get to some earthern portal, I think. Unfortunately, a rock creature smashed her. She did not answer any of the priests calls to return to the living when Feather and the others brought her back to the temple. After some grieving, Chauntea's presence filled the temple and the goddess gave us some soothing words.

    Farewell, Telli. I barely knew you, but I'm glad for the good that you have done.


  • Entry 28

    I went up to Peltarch. I was hoping to run into Lycka, but I got sidetracked by Thorn. We ran into Troff, Eli, and Alexi then. He's a merchant with bardic talents. Crazy man. He moos a lot during Fight Night. On this occasion, however, he was running around very hyper. Eli said he ate a bag of sugar. He ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran. Until finally he passed out.

    Weird man. Really.

    We got back to Norwick, and this chap came up to me asking for a mage. The fellow told me he felt something inside trying to get out. I think he's got sorcery running through him. I offered some advice. Okay, so I took what Attentus taught me and applied it to him. I'll have to follow up and see if I'm right.

    After that, I talked for a bit on Gossip Rock with Thorn and Troff. Thorn's not been doing good with meditating on his magic. He keeps getting distracted by thoughts of a woman he likes. I don't know her well, but from the sounds of it she's a decent elf. I told him he should talk to her. Don't just sit there.

    Fight Night was fun. Lycka showed up! Thorn won the archery. I boxed Uljas of all people. Actually, I did pretty well, I think. I stayed on my feet a lot longer than I hoped, at any rate. After I boxed, I sat with Lycka and told her all about why I wanted her to do a dreamwalk for me. So, that's really all the people that I care to tell about THAT story for now.

    Though I probably will need to tell Arandor, the old Wolf.

    Oh, it looks like Aelthas and Lycka are gonna take me to the Glacier to see someone from her tribe. The woman's supposed to be skilled at dreamwalks.

    Wow, can I finally get this solved?