3. Aaimie's Journal Rantings

Aaimie's Journal Rantings


  • Dear Diary,

    I can’t believe what happened over the past few days! It started off with a simple stroll with Rick but then we came upon a gathering of orcs from different tribes. They were trying to negotiate taking over the positioning of Sam’s hill. Rick stepped up and attempted to discuss the options. Others from the area were present ready attack at a moment’s notice. I thought to myself that Rick might not be the best mediator and took a safe distance away from the gathering crowd.

    To my chagrin, a few of the orcs decided to assess me! One thought I would make a “good blonde wifeee,” while another explained to his friend that my hips were way to narrow and couldn’t hold an orc baby. Yet another plainly suggested giving it a try and “if she breaks to find another one.”

    To my rescue came Chiero and Rick. I am not sure if I should be flattered or not for they insulted me repeatedly. I would have imagined my knights in shinning armor to march towards me and save my honor by slicing the beasts in two. Instead, they verbally assaulted my worth publicly! What was that they said? That’s right, I was “ugly, useless, worthless, incompetent, not worth the time” and under my clothes I was “really a man.” For a moment, I didn’t know whether to go with the orcs who wanted me or these two “gentlemen” who overtly humiliated me in front the entire town!

    I didn’t have much time to worry about my hurt feelings because a wave of highly skilled bandits poured in from the north. Running for cover, one arrow lodged deep in my shoulder and I fell face first sliding down the opposite side of Sam’s protective hill. Looking up, I found Cyrus’ concerned expression. He gently tended my wound gave me a wink then moved on to help the others in need. A shout rang out to get reinforcements from Norwick. Knowing I could not hold the front lines, I ran to get help.

    Entering Norwick, the wild magic surrounding the haunted well caused such chaos. I am not sure what came over me but I started to fist fight the other citizens. I even started to chase Jore in an angry rage. Thank goodness he dodged my unskilled blows and knocked be beside my head clearing my vision. Wait, is that a good thing that Jore beat me up? Anyway, I ran out of town without any one in tow. Merin confidently strolled by and did what I could not. He deflected the frenzied magic and brought in reinforcements. I feel so useless. Part of me thinks what Chiero and Rick said about me “was” true. What seemed like days, the elite bandit squad was defeated.

    Rick and I made it back to Jiyyd to rest. Here, I sang him my newest song that surprisingly, came out well. I even hit the high notes. I realized that I was falling deeper for him. I watched Chiero silhouetted in the distance. I observed his serious expression as he spoke with the others in town. He served as a reminder to me of what could be, a chance to start over. I shook my head and gathered up my senses and what little pride I had remaining. I told Rick I was wrong to “sing for him and sit with him as closely as I did.” I forgot my self. He left me to pursue Demi and I was just acting foolish. I started to walk away and he pulled me back. I was so exhausted from the day, upset with my own weakness and disgusted with myself for loving someone who obviously cannot love only me. I am not sure exactly what happened or what exactly what words were said but Rick professed his love and desire for me. He explained that he wants only me and he apologized for treating me so callously. His words were as smooth as silk and part of me knew I was being manipulated but I could not resist. I hope he will be honorable and keep his word.

    The next day I went for an interesting stroll with a nice group of friends. Though still achy from the day before, the long trip to this underground city was well worth it. They had the finest boots and such fantastic buildings to look upon! The trip was a maze bursting with danger and excitement! I know I could not have found my way alone to this place again without help.

    Rick has now left for Cormyr to settle is sister’s estate. I hope it goes smoothly for him. He worries that I will be unfaithful while he is away. He jokes about my “boyfriends.” It's obvious he doesn't trust me. I hope he doesn’t take too long for I may be the one who isn’t honorable just to prove him right.


  • Dear Diary,

    I finished my tale about the awful spider cave…I stayed in Norwick for a while hoping to gather my thoughts. I felt so alone. I could barely breathe. How stupid of me to go into that cave. My curiosity took the better of me. I asked them to turn back but they didn't listen. Ginger was so nice to me and so was this new person Lanz. They saw me sitting in the rain and wanted to help but I just didn't have the strength to talk much. Perhaps later I will thank them for caring about me.

    I wish that Rick would stop flashing in my mind. I have shocks of pain in my heart when he flows back into my thoughts. For days I worried about sweet Chiero. I'm sure he tried to protect me as best he could. I worried how was I going to explain this to Cyna. But right now, I sit in Jiyyd knowing that the Chiero, Shadowstrider and Arora are alive.

    I wandered the land and found myself in Peltarch earlier today. There was not much activity in the commons so I thought I would take a walk to the bard college to find out how I might be a member. On my way there I saw him and my heart nearly broke in two. My body shuddered and I could barely move. Rick was talking with Demi right outside the college. I always wondered what he did when he "went away." Now I know. I found my legs and ran back to the commons. I don't know why I should be upset to see them together. I expected I would see it one day after all, he did leave me for her. But the pain was almost overwhelming. I need to distance myself from him...somehow.

    A wonderful gentle man, Sorlin, I believe his name was sat and talked to me for a while. I would have ran blindly into the bandit pit had he not been there to calm me down. He asked to hear one of my stories with a happy ending and I gladly did so. Rick eventually found me and wanted to talk. I think he wants us to be friends as he explores his feelings with Demi. I really don't know what he wants. He looks at me as if he is hurting too but it's difficult for me to feel sorry for him since he was the one who caused this.

    So, here I am. Trying to move on. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know where to begin. If I don't feel empty inside, I'm so filled with grief over Rick with someone else. Bards write of how beautiful love is. I know I love him, but it only seems to give me pain.

    Well, I'm definitely not going to the bardic college any more! That's one thing I'm sure of.


  • Dear Diary,

    This evening I sat with Rick near Jiyyd’s lake. It was a quiet evening and we went for a very cold swim. We had such a relaxing time. He looks at me with tenderness and seems to care deeply for me. Though when I look in his eyes, he seems troubled.

    I caught him mumbling to himself one time about how he isn’t sure what to do. I know he favors Demi and he seems to gaze in the direction of the Bard College often. He forgets himself sometimes when we are walking and turns to look at its spiraling towers. When she sat in the commons with us, he stares at her. Is he waiting for her to give him a sign?

    I confronted him about her and he seemed jumpy and defensive. He said that she was with him when he found his tribe turned into zombies. He said she saw everything he did. I told him about if he wanted to leave me for her, I would not hold a grudge and I wouldn’t. I know he and she outclass me for that matter. I know my place in this world. I know my status. Both of them are better than me. There is nothing I can do about it. I am a half-elf who grew up in a low class tavern. I’m nothing more than a barmaid pretending to be a bard.

    He reassures me that he wants to be with me and not her. Though his words sound very similar to Chiero’s. Chiero also told me he doesn’t know what to do. I found him earlier and he explained that he loves Cyna and me. “He doesn’t know what to do.” he tells me. He loves us both. I wonder if Rick feels the same way.

    Should I be upset with this? No words of fidelity have been professed. Should I find another person to spend my time with? Should I just settle with being one of two? Should I just wait patiently until they make up their minds? Or should I use them both? I guess I don’t know what to do either.

    Maybe it’s time for me to move on again and not be bothered with such confusion.


  • Dear Diary,

    I went on an exploration with Chiero. Rick was busy talking with Elliahna….not really sure of her name but I think she is a priest in the Helm temple on the hill. It was obvious that he had private things to discuss so I found my good friend Chiero sitting alone.

    He is such a nice guy and broken hearted over Cyna. I can tell he really loves her and it bothers him that he was unfaithful to her with someone. Days ago I caught him with his travel pack heading somewhere with a distraught look on his face. I asked him what as wrong and he explained it to me with such emotion that his accent took over.

    He had to explain it to me in sign language. That I understood. That and the fact that his face was ashamed and full of guilt. He told me to look after Cyna and to tell Rick to do the same. Of course I would look after her. She seems so nice and I would hate to see her hurt. I remember when Rick and I were sitting by the well, she snuck up behind us and wet us playfully. I knew then that she would be a great friend and someone I would like to get to know better. I wish he didn’t do what he did in the temple’s basement. He was so embarrassed when he told me, I didn’t ask who and even if he told me, I doubt I would have understood him with his nervous accent.

    So anyway, I’m digressing. Chiero and I set off for an exploration and a few hin joined up with us. We ran into some orcs that were very frightening! We made it to a top of a hill to rest and Chiero found a cave. He came up with the idea of doing a little cave exploring. He said he would go in first to have a look around. Next thing I know I hear him scream for us to run. A rather large white wolf was chasing him. It had already chewed him up a lot because it’s snowy fur was coated in blood. I ran as fast as I could towards town. I heard the poor hin screaming too. It caught up with me and bit at my ankles then lunged at my waist. Everything went dark. Then I woke up back in Jiyyd and thought I saw a god. But later discovered it was only Samin’s sensei, Hugh. The others said I died but I don’t believe them. I was just knocked out. Though for days I had this terrible cold feeling inside. Oh, I don’t want to think about it.

    So, a few days later I’m wondering where my travel buddy Chiero is. I wonder if he’s alive or not. No word from any townsfolk regarding him. Anyway my handsome Rick professes his worry and takes care of me. He asks that I travel with him to find some copper. We make a slow trip to Norwick’s woods enjoying eachother’s company. During the return trip I see a welcomed sight. Cyna and Chiero are together! I think this is great because they can finally work things out. To my surprise, Cyna yells at me and prepares to blast me with magic! She has her angry face on and Chiero ran between us and yelled for me to run. I have no clue what that was all about! Rick and others tell me to go with them and not to bother for I was trying to get to the bottom of it. I thought maybe she thought I stole something but I really don’t know how to steal I can’t even unlock traps right! Oh, I hope things work out. I like Cyna and Chiero and hope they can at least be friends. I hope I can be her friend. Oh, I’m so confused.