3. Aaimie's Journal Rantings

Aaimie's Journal Rantings


  • Dear Diary,

    Morning came and brought with it a cold wind that chilled me to the bone. It was a sign and I didn’t heed it. Doran, Pete, Rick and myself were going to travel to Peltarch to hone my mining skills in a new area. I was very excited to try something new. None of us, except Rick knew where this new vein of ore could be found. Along the way, Rick saw Demi. He had promised her a talk and told us to wait by the gates to the Kolbold’s territory, just outside of Peltarch. We lit a fire and carried some bard tales but then as the night came to a close Pete left now wanting to wait for Rick any longer.

    The next day came and Doran left at first light off to take care of her daughter. I waited for Rick wondering when he would be back. I should have gotten sleep but I waited up for him hoping he would return to me soon. I had asked a guard in town to see if maybe Rick had left town and they told me no. He was still with Demi in the college.

    I waited in town for four days then decided to go home. Rick came home a few nights later, crawling into bed. He left at first light leaving me a note to come to Peltarch. I made the long trip alone as I have in the past but a bandit, who hid behind in the nook of a cliff, knocked me to the ground and plunged a knife into my stomach twisting it. I fought her off and made it to town.

    I eventually found Rick sitting with Demi outside the bard college. He was seated on a bench next to her. I came to sit on an empty bench slowly not to worsen my wound. Rick smiled politely at me and continued to carry on his conversation with her. I wanted him to hold and comfort me but I could not find the strength to tell him. I was dizzy from the blood loss and my nerves were strained due to the recent events. He continued to talk quietly with her. He usually gives me a welcome kiss and holds me tight as we sit on benches together. Has something changed? I looked down to my wound and decided it might be best if I rested in the inn. As I stood, Rick bandaged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I asked him why on the cheek and he said “Fine!” then kissed me on the lips. It seems I am too much of a bother. He returned to his seat next to Demi as I walked to the inn.

    Later Rick found me in the inn and yelled at me for looking so hurt regarding his actions. I said that I wanted to be held and be given my typical welcome. Not a friendly smile. One that you give to others. He yelled saying he was in the middle of a farking conversation…and that he is not a servant that when I snap my fingers, he comes running over to give me kiss. He said I was being jealous. I told him I don’t want to be second to any conversation and that I obviously need more attention than he is capable of giving.

    I went to bed and when I came out he was talking to Zyph who was giving Rick advice on how to deal with an “insanely jealous” woman. Rick turned to me with face full of anger and only a hint of love deep inside. I could not breathe. I wanted to vanish. I could not cry or say a word. My heart stopped beating. I left Peltarch and Rick stayed yelling something at me.

    The rest of the evening was a blur. As I caught my breath later on Sam’s hill, Pete came by and said that Rick was complaining about me to Demi as they camped near Peltarch. I explained the situation and Pete told me that Demi’s conversation was more important than me. In a fit of anger, I don’t remember much else. I wrote Rick a note and left.


  • Dear Diary,

    Today Doran offered me a ring as a peace offering of sorts maybe of friendship. I refused it believing that it was another trick. She dropped it on the ground and left. Rick took the ring and ran after me yelling to accept the ring. He droned on and on about how I was blowing this out of proportion and that she wants to make amends. I don’t know what came over me but I turned around and accepted the ring. I still don’t trust her but it’s a start.

    I am very angry that Rick yelled at me and practically left me no choice. I wish I was stronger. Hell. I’m so confused at this point. Why do I do the things I do? I guess I’m not strong enough to stand up to him or maybe I’m trying to be a better person? Or maybe I just want all the fighting to be over with.

    Chiero spat at me the other day and called me a dog. Rick and him are still having squabbles. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s right any more.


  • Dear Diary,

    Tomorrow came and a note with a knife was on Tal and Doran’s door. It contained the words “I do not wish to kill you” written in blood on it. Tal came to Jiyyd and asked if I or Rick knew about it and I don’t. I wonder who would do it and part of me is glad it was done but sometimes its best not to ask too many questions.

    Rick and I have been spending a few days mining and crafting blades. It is very laborious and it is something I need right now to help me to stop worrying. In the meantime, Tal and Doran have separated. It seems that Doran and Eo were having some sort of fling behind Tal’s back and now the two ladies are elven soul bound or something. Doran took one of the two children to live with her in Jiyyd. So now I get to see more of her. Lucky me.

    Rick of course couldn’t be happier with Doran, Eo and Demi in town. I’m not so sure I like this new arrangement. If the reason why Rick did not go with Demi was the fact that Demi and Eo are never separated, now that Eo and Doran are bonded, Demi will be alone. I hope Rick’s love for me remains strong.

    The other day while in Peltarch Demi had asked Rick if he was going to have children with me to carry on the Swift Clan name. Rick blushed and stuttered not able to get the words out. Demi cooed and told Rick that it would either with me or her. I had no idea what she was talking about and Rick broke out in a horrible sweat and lost his voice. He backed away from me and Demi when I asked what was that all about? The two of them toyed with me watching me stew in my confusion. My heart began to shatter as I looked upon both of them. Demi with her smirk and Rick growing pale as he stood voiceless in his shirt soaked with sweat. After what seemed like hours Demi showed me her ring and Rick’s ring. The ring from the Swift clan. I wondered how many rings did this man have and why have I not received one of these. Before I could ask how she received such a gift she told me that she was an honorary clan member. So if she were to have children, her children could carry on the Swift Clan name…and it wasn’t necessarily to have a child with Rick.

    I don’t like to be toyed with. Demi had a sly smile wondering why I was so uptight and speculated that she and Rick would be having children together. I explained that it was obvious because he left me for her. Well! Demi didn’t know about that! If it was possible for Rick to sweat more, he did. He blurted out that he doesn’t love Demi and that he loves me. Everything was a blur for me from that point on but I do remember that I explained how he left me. Rick did say that he would speak to Demi alone soon. Rick and I went into the inn to talk and that was nothing more than him apologizing for not being upfront. He also yelled at me for being upset that he didn’t disclose everything about Demi and her being a part of his clan. He did say he was sorry for letting me stew as he lost his voice and stepped back from me. I really needed his support at that time.


  • Dear Diary,

    When I awoke the first person I saw in town was Frem. I could barely contain myself and I poured out all my thoughts to him. His sweet face was more than I could take. He listened politely with concern and I felt better. He did point out that my thoughts on cheating on Rick might cause harm to the guy I cheated on with. I didn’t think about that. I don’t want to have Pete get killed by one of Rick’s rages. I told Frem that if he doesn’t see me for a while that I was glad that I had the privilege to meet him.

    Rick came by shortly afterwards and Frem left. We went mining and I asked Rick about his relationship with Talgrath and Doran before I came. He believes that Doran only put her fingernail to my neck and she was truly sorry for her joke. He also said he would continue to see her and try his best to guide her. He feels that Doran sees Demi as a mother of some sort. I stated then she must want him as a father. He agreed.

    With all my heart I believe that Doran did put a knife to my throat and threatened my life. It wasn’t a joke. If she out right threatened me telling me to leave Rick so he can be with Demi, she couldn’t play it off as a joke. Doran knew what she was doing and it’s working. First she called me a THAT, now a threat on my life. What’s next? Oh, that’s right, she sent a letter addressed to me written in blood. The words were “I don’t want to kill you.” To me that’s a veiled threat. Everyone tells me I’m blowing it out of proportion.

    Rick will not believe it until I am dead then still be baffled and probably blame some random bandit rather than the wife of this best friend. He will play with Doran’s children never knowing that she was she was the one who killed me.

    I went to Shadowstrider to seek his advice. Perhaps I was making it more than it was. He told me that it is a possibility that she may try to kill me but not to put much thought in it. So I’m basically back to where I started. I went home to and crawled into bed with Rick. I’m not ready to leave him. I will wait to see what tomorrow brings.


  • Dear Diary,

    Today Rick and I went into Peltarch commons and had a rest from out recent mining trip. Doran was there. She waved to us and left stating she was heading for bed anyway. She walked off to the inn. A few minutes later, someone invisible grabbed me by the shoulder roughly and held a knife to my neck. The eastlander accented voice demanded that I put all my gold on the ground or I will be killed. I shook nervously and tried to untie my purse when Rick noticed. He tried to pull be towards him but I was held tight. Rick’s voice raised in anger threatening the unseen person. The person backed away and then Doran appeared singing a joyous tune. She giggled and said to Rick that it was simply a joke and that she had her sharp fingernail to my neck rather than a knife.

    Rick was nearing a rage and demanded that she apologize to me and he yelled is feelings as to how her threatening me was not funny. She yelled back explaining that it was funny and she only had her finger to my throat. Chiero arrived with a group and got into the mix defending Doran and yelled at Rick. Doran came over to me and said “Hey! I’m sorry I touched you” and then left.

    Chiero made it clear to all that were gathered that I do deserve to be treated badly and that Doran was in the right to threaten my life. He is in league with a Doran who sees me nothing more than piece of trash. She would rather see me dead then mar her line of sight. It is simple Chiero defended her over me. His feelings for me couldn’t be clearer. I will demonstrate the qualities he has shown me in these past few months.

    Later, I discovered that Doran treats me this way because she wants Rick to be with Demi. She wants me dead so Rick will be with the pink haired bard warrior. Lucky me. I wonder if Talgrath feels the same way. I love Rick and want what is best for him. I wonder if leaving would be what is best. He could have Demi and his so called best friends back. I also worry because life has been threatened due to me messing up the pretty picture of Rick, Demi, Doran and Talgrath. It seems I have two choices. Stay with Rick and die OR leave Rick and live.

    Maybe I’ll just leave one day and not return. It might just be the right thing to do. I could find someone to cheat on and break Rick’s heart. That would put things back as they were before I came. I will have to think more on it.


  • Dear Diary,

    Upset by all the events, today I decided to sit on Sam’s hill. Sam and Vine were there and we had a quiet evening enjoying Sam’s good dinners. Bandits came out of nowhere and even caused Sam to almost fall down the hill from the force of the attack. He staggered to town leaving a trail of blood to yell for reinforcements. In the meantime, an officer shot me in the neck and as I turned to run for cover, another landed in my back. Everything became a blur. I remember Frem standing over me with the bloodied arrow in his hand. I was close to Norwick and rested outside the gates. I am not sure what happened next but I found myself wandering in the deep woods. I heard the cries of victorious goblins tearing at the flesh of green warriors.

    I hid for hours as best I could and caught sight of Shadowstrider, Sedrick and a few others. Shadow tended some of my wounds and Sedrick took me by my hand and led me back to town. Sedrick seems to be very helpful and pleasant but the more time I spend with him, I’m not so sure. He stinks of rotten fish and he seems to enjoy pain. Something tells me that this isn’t a good thing. A few days later we traveled together and he licked the blood off is injured knees seeming to enjoy the feeling and taste. He also jammed his hand into the termite hill grabbing handfuls of them he placed the crawling creatures in his mouth. As if a gift, he seemed to offer them to me. I politely declined. He also seems to want to give me other gifts such as rocks and such. I’m really not sure what to make of him at this point.

    Rick and I have begun to mine recently and I have been enjoying our time together. I hate the dangerous walk to Peltarch carrying all the ore but Rick insists that it’s the right thing to do. He says that the Crafter’s Union is full of…well I don’t really remember what exactly he said he went into this heated statement about corruption and laws. In the end, he boiled it down to “if I support the Union, I’m supporting Maythor.” I could see it in his eyes. If I accepted an apprenticeship in that group, it would be as if I took a dagger to his heart. All I wanted was to be able not to carry all the ore through the Nars.

    A strange thing happened though. Ragnar let us use the guild’s forge to make carrying the materials easier for our walk to Peltarch. Because I was new, he let me use the crucible. He gave me Moradin’s blessing and watched as I attempted to make my first knife. On my first try I made a perfect one! Rick and Ragnar were both in awe. I, of course, was surprised too! I wonder, could it have been due to Moradin?


  • Dear Diary,

    Well, today it seems that Maythor revoked my banning. He claims he never banned me in the first place. I straightened things out with Talgrath and all seems to be as it was. Shadowstrider gave me a lecture on how I should not hold a grudge against the bald dwarf, slurring dwarf who frequently passes gas. He claims is he a good person though he did not offer me any reasons as to why that situation occurred. He said I shouldn’t “act” this way because it isn’t “like me.” I asked what is it that I am?

    I hope things get better during the past few days during my “ban from Norwick.” Rick and I went to Peltarch to hear Vine, Doran and Demi sing in the commons. Demi also did a solo and apparently he was very rich according to the bards as he gave them a nice tip. Rick pushed me and wanted me to join them in their concert even though I was not invited. I am out of their league and they know it. Rick is the only one who doesn’t seem to understand that. The tension I felt in that moment was so overwhelming, it took all my strength to sit there and watch Rick gaze at her and to tip her twice. Basically I was in a numb shock where my blood would boil from time to time. I hope to never experience that again. I really didn’t have much choice in the circumstance. If I left, I would look like the jealous fool that I am. I also have to be mature about the situation because he has been friends with her a long time and will continue to be that way. I need to trust him. Still, I hope not to go through that again.

    Also in Peltarch, I found out what a racist pig Doran is. I overlooked her bandit upbringing and her need to flaunt it in public daring anyone to say anything. I was always polite with her, I went to her wedding and we even had some light conversations about Rick. In front of her husband and Rick. She said to addressing Rick directly, “I can’t believe you are dating THAT.” The years of abuse when I was back in Silverymoon came flooding back. Silly me, I thought that perhaps coming to this area would make my life better.

    I expected some remarks from snobby elves now and again but not from Doran. I was beginning to think she was my friend. Talgrath is Rick’s best friend. He even gave Doran and Talgrath his chieftain ring to use as part of their wedding ceremony. I was hoping we would go places together as couples. Perhaps even to baby sit from time to time for her. But reality often hurts. Talgrath heard the words that came out of her mouth and knew that Rick and I were hurt. His only comment was “it just must have slipped out.” Remarks like that don’t just slip out. He was condoning her words. He must feel the same way about me. Is he having me in charge of information gathering in Norwick purposefully so I will be put in harms way? After all, they said I was a “THAT.” Maybe they think the Thayans will finish me off. Then their good friend Rick won’t have to date me any longer. I never knew what to make of Talgrath anyway. He’s very curt and abrupt to me. Rick tells me not to worry about that because he’s that way to everyone. Now I’m not so sure.

    On top of all of this, Chiero has been avoiding me. I caught up with him recently and he wanted nothing to do with me. I seemed to be wasting his time. So I walked away giving him what he wanted. A few days later, I was mining with Ginger and Frem. I said hello to him and he said hello to Ginger, Frem, even Rick but ignored me outright. I think it’s time I put it into my head that he is no longer my friend. Another day I saw him in Nowick and he sat around the fire ignoring me. And so it has happened. He had chosen not to be my friend.


  • Dear Diary,

    Today was one of the worst and best days I have had yet. I was asked by Vine and Arryn, both spectacular bards, to help sing to the citizens of Norwick in a mini concert. Our goal was to raise money to help a few fallen citizens. We raised some gold but not enough to make the huge difference we were hoping for. This was the first time that I was invited to play along side of others. I was so honored I almost froze from nervousness! I was glad to see Cyrus, Shadow and Rick there.

    In a moment of sheer sadness, I watched Maythor, a bald dwarf who is head of Norwick’s militia, escort Rick out the south gates. Rick was always so careful not to come into town. However, today, I found Juno’s body near the Friars. Only recently today, Juno helped to save Rick’s life when the bandits unexpectedly swarmed down on us. Juno helped Rick, where I could not. For the first time in four years, Rick entered Norwick without permission to give assistance to his friend. He stayed because I was starting to sing.

    With a heavy heart, I left Vine and the others and sat outside the gates with Rick away from the cheerful camaraderie and warm fire. It was cold, dark, muddy and pouring on the other side of the wall. Rick noticed I was upset and help me close doing his best to warm me and shelter me from the cold rain with his cloak.

    In burst of activity, Maythor throws open the gates and stares directly at us with his cold dark dwarven eyes.

    “Git away from me walls ye criminals!” He screamed at Rick and me. The entire town of Norwick seemed to pour out behind him.

    I could barely breathe. I must have looked a sight with my face in shock, not to mention that I was shivering, rain soaked wearing my best silk dress. I did not have time to change after the small concert. I couldn’t think of what to do! Countless thoughts rushed through my mind. I could not think of anything that I did wrong to deserve to be publicly humiliated like that!

    “Leave me woods to ye criminals!” He screamed with a red face. I was over come with emotion. There was a burning in my chest and felt my entire body quivering. I had difficultly breathing and I thought I might pass out. Somehow, I found strength in my feet and knew I better leave because tears threatened to pour down my face. The crowd of onlookers watched me closely. I saw their looks of condemnation and was mortified. I ran back to Jiyyd as fast as I could with Rick. Eventually, my warm tears stung as they fell along my cold skin.

    I immediately sent a message off to Talgrath explaining my situation and suggesting a few other contacts he could use for Norwick since I was no longer allowed. I never had any ill feelings towards dwarves. I thought they were generally fair and honorable. I guess I have misjudged them.

    I don’t find any logic why he would throw me out of town but allows the woman who obviously had connections with hellspawns her freedom. I saw her walking around unescorted through Norwick while I was in concert with the others.

    It is unfortunate that Maythor is so misguided. It is unfortunate for all the innocent citizens in town. Rick is charged with petty crimes and I am innocent. I can no longer inform Talgrath of the Thayan’s activities in Norwick for our unified front and Rick’s fighting skills will not be at the ready all because of Maythor’s pettiness. I’m afraid that it will be too late for Norwick with him in charge. I can’t help but to shake the images of the mummies marching into town with the Thayan’s following and Norwick in flames.

    I guess I’ll spend my time fishing in the hin valley now.


  • Dear Diary,

    Today was interesting. I was in Norwick when a hooded man who did not give his name wearing a beige outfit came through Norwick’s portal near the south gate’s fire. He said the was to meet a contact here to discuss a sword. A white haired woman was overly eager to talk to him. ::Describes Divinus Mortis:: She spoke to him in two unknown languages one sounded full of hisses and the other sounded almost elven but wasn’t. She obviously was hoping that the observers wouldn’t understand their conversation. Eventually, the man turned himself invisible and ran. I followed him as far as I could before he disappeared completely from my eyes. The white haired woman ran in pursuit. I lost sight over he too as I made towards the graveyard.

    A door opened up leading to the other crypt…not the Norwick Family one. Inside mummies poured out and Rick, Shadowstrider and a few others killed them after a rough battle. We are thinking that the new arrival went down there.

    Meanwhile, someone tracked the white haired woman to the Norwick crypts. She casted a spell to cloak herself in darkness and mummies and an army of undead appeared there as well.

    Eventually, we found her again and brought her to the militia base in Norwick. She was put in a cell for questioning.


  • Dear Diary,

    What a wonderful day I had! Rick has returned from his long trip to Cormyr. He brought with him some lovely flowers for me and led me on a poetry clue hunt. I pretty much updated him on what I was happened with me. And he was thinking about asking someone in Norwick to lift his ban. We ran into Vine and he graciously said he would look into it. Rick was about to go into detail about his trip but then we walked into a bandit raid. Again, they were attacking Sam’s hill. Fortunately, they were pushed back.

    Rick and I separated and I waited in Norwick near the fire to hear the latest gossip where a wizard almost sat me on! I think his name is Cray. He was nice and apologized for it. I spoke with Sedrick who seemed upset that Chiero kept calling him “Git.” I never saw anyone who wanted to be nice to Chiero after he was so abrasive. I hope they can work it out. Sedrick seems very polite.

    I spent the other part of my evening with Delron, an acquaintance of Shadowstrider. (He’s the elf that Chiero wanted to beat up the a few days ago.) I am not sure what happened between them back then but it had something to do about stealing. As always, Chiero was a bit rude. He asked touchy questions that should not be boldly spoken in such a manner in front of a crowd at Norwick! We got in a little fight and Chiero walked off. Today, surprisingly, I heard Chiero apologize to him. Delron and I spent a little time getting to know one another and perhaps we will spend more time together in the future. He wants to introduce me to a friend of his.

    There was no interesting gossip to be found in Norwick this night so I returned to Jiyyd to find Rick waiting for me in the inn. What a wonderful day it was indeed!


  • It seems like forever since I last saw Rick. He left for Corymr months ago. I keep an image of him in my mind and anyone that comes across the road that has his build, I instantly think hope he has returned. Lately, I've spent my time with Shadowstrider, Cyrus and Chiero. I have learned a lot from observing the mysterious Shadowstrider. I watch him pray often especially before engaging in battle. I often wonder which god he dedicates his prayers to. He seems rigid in his dedication to the healing of others and uses sound military tactics. It seems that whenever I need him, he is there watching over me. I have learned a lot from him. From watching Shadow, I've even attempted, from time to time, to use two weapons this seems to be a good fighting technique.

    Poor Cyrus is still plagued with this unknown illness and it seems there is no cure. I've taken walks with him frequently hoping it would work out of his system since resting hasn't helped. His eyes seem to be more drawn each day. I know he isn't sleeping well. One night I tried my best to sing him to sleep and to bore him with some stories but it only worked for a few hours. I fear that whatever he, and Frem for that matter, have is here to stay.

    I've also been spending time more with Chiero. As promised, he's taught me to use a long bow and has been so patient with me. The hardest part was trying to string the bow. I had such a difficult time pulling it tight enough to make the arrow go farther than a few footfalls. We came upon some animals as well. And he has shown me how to coax them to me. Aside from a stray dog or a cow, I never engaged an animal with an open hand before. With Rick gone Chiero has become more forward in ways I really don’t wish to describe.

    I am not so sure about this new person I met. His name is Vine and he’s a beautiful elven bard. His skills with the Lyre are almost magical. He has played many songs for me much to my enjoyment. After thinking on it for some time, I am not sure if I want to continue my pursuit of the arts.

    A few days ago there was a poetry and music session that was made up on the spot. Zyphlin, Vine and a new bard who was friends with the two were asked to meet on Sam’s hill to entertain Sam. Zyphlin was talking about new upstart storytellers, singer and poetry performers that could join them. It seems I never entered their minds. I stood with them as they came up with the idea and was hurt. I lacked the courage to speak up for myself and Vine did not invite me to perform even a simple poem. I sense coldness about him that I don’t understand. A few days later, I asked if one day we could play together if the tune was simple and he seemed quite reluctant. He has a high standing in the bard college and it seems I cannot make an impression.

    I wonder what exactly I am good at these days. I am pleased at least able to help with the Thayan dilemma. Talgrath has been sending me messages and updates on the situation and I am doing my part. Hopefully, we can put a stop to their plans.

    On a lighter note, the fashion show auction was rained out and will be held later. Hopefully Rick will be able to see it. I have found out that the other models will be from the bardic college. I know that I am sure to see Vine and Demi there. I hope I have the courage to show up.


  • Dear Diary,

    I can’t believe what happened over the past few days! It started off with a simple stroll with Rick but then we came upon a gathering of orcs from different tribes. They were trying to negotiate taking over the positioning of Sam’s hill. Rick stepped up and attempted to discuss the options. Others from the area were present ready attack at a moment’s notice. I thought to myself that Rick might not be the best mediator and took a safe distance away from the gathering crowd.

    To my chagrin, a few of the orcs decided to assess me! One thought I would make a “good blonde wifeee,” while another explained to his friend that my hips were way to narrow and couldn’t hold an orc baby. Yet another plainly suggested giving it a try and “if she breaks to find another one.”

    To my rescue came Chiero and Rick. I am not sure if I should be flattered or not for they insulted me repeatedly. I would have imagined my knights in shinning armor to march towards me and save my honor by slicing the beasts in two. Instead, they verbally assaulted my worth publicly! What was that they said? That’s right, I was “ugly, useless, worthless, incompetent, not worth the time” and under my clothes I was “really a man.” For a moment, I didn’t know whether to go with the orcs who wanted me or these two “gentlemen” who overtly humiliated me in front the entire town!

    I didn’t have much time to worry about my hurt feelings because a wave of highly skilled bandits poured in from the north. Running for cover, one arrow lodged deep in my shoulder and I fell face first sliding down the opposite side of Sam’s protective hill. Looking up, I found Cyrus’ concerned expression. He gently tended my wound gave me a wink then moved on to help the others in need. A shout rang out to get reinforcements from Norwick. Knowing I could not hold the front lines, I ran to get help.

    Entering Norwick, the wild magic surrounding the haunted well caused such chaos. I am not sure what came over me but I started to fist fight the other citizens. I even started to chase Jore in an angry rage. Thank goodness he dodged my unskilled blows and knocked be beside my head clearing my vision. Wait, is that a good thing that Jore beat me up? Anyway, I ran out of town without any one in tow. Merin confidently strolled by and did what I could not. He deflected the frenzied magic and brought in reinforcements. I feel so useless. Part of me thinks what Chiero and Rick said about me “was” true. What seemed like days, the elite bandit squad was defeated.

    Rick and I made it back to Jiyyd to rest. Here, I sang him my newest song that surprisingly, came out well. I even hit the high notes. I realized that I was falling deeper for him. I watched Chiero silhouetted in the distance. I observed his serious expression as he spoke with the others in town. He served as a reminder to me of what could be, a chance to start over. I shook my head and gathered up my senses and what little pride I had remaining. I told Rick I was wrong to “sing for him and sit with him as closely as I did.” I forgot my self. He left me to pursue Demi and I was just acting foolish. I started to walk away and he pulled me back. I was so exhausted from the day, upset with my own weakness and disgusted with myself for loving someone who obviously cannot love only me. I am not sure exactly what happened or what exactly what words were said but Rick professed his love and desire for me. He explained that he wants only me and he apologized for treating me so callously. His words were as smooth as silk and part of me knew I was being manipulated but I could not resist. I hope he will be honorable and keep his word.

    The next day I went for an interesting stroll with a nice group of friends. Though still achy from the day before, the long trip to this underground city was well worth it. They had the finest boots and such fantastic buildings to look upon! The trip was a maze bursting with danger and excitement! I know I could not have found my way alone to this place again without help.

    Rick has now left for Cormyr to settle is sister’s estate. I hope it goes smoothly for him. He worries that I will be unfaithful while he is away. He jokes about my “boyfriends.” It's obvious he doesn't trust me. I hope he doesn’t take too long for I may be the one who isn’t honorable just to prove him right.


  • Dear Diary,

    I finished my tale about the awful spider cave…I stayed in Norwick for a while hoping to gather my thoughts. I felt so alone. I could barely breathe. How stupid of me to go into that cave. My curiosity took the better of me. I asked them to turn back but they didn't listen. Ginger was so nice to me and so was this new person Lanz. They saw me sitting in the rain and wanted to help but I just didn't have the strength to talk much. Perhaps later I will thank them for caring about me.

    I wish that Rick would stop flashing in my mind. I have shocks of pain in my heart when he flows back into my thoughts. For days I worried about sweet Chiero. I'm sure he tried to protect me as best he could. I worried how was I going to explain this to Cyna. But right now, I sit in Jiyyd knowing that the Chiero, Shadowstrider and Arora are alive.

    I wandered the land and found myself in Peltarch earlier today. There was not much activity in the commons so I thought I would take a walk to the bard college to find out how I might be a member. On my way there I saw him and my heart nearly broke in two. My body shuddered and I could barely move. Rick was talking with Demi right outside the college. I always wondered what he did when he "went away." Now I know. I found my legs and ran back to the commons. I don't know why I should be upset to see them together. I expected I would see it one day after all, he did leave me for her. But the pain was almost overwhelming. I need to distance myself from him...somehow.

    A wonderful gentle man, Sorlin, I believe his name was sat and talked to me for a while. I would have ran blindly into the bandit pit had he not been there to calm me down. He asked to hear one of my stories with a happy ending and I gladly did so. Rick eventually found me and wanted to talk. I think he wants us to be friends as he explores his feelings with Demi. I really don't know what he wants. He looks at me as if he is hurting too but it's difficult for me to feel sorry for him since he was the one who caused this.

    So, here I am. Trying to move on. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know where to begin. If I don't feel empty inside, I'm so filled with grief over Rick with someone else. Bards write of how beautiful love is. I know I love him, but it only seems to give me pain.

    Well, I'm definitely not going to the bardic college any more! That's one thing I'm sure of.


  • Dear Diary,

    This evening I sat with Rick near Jiyyd’s lake. It was a quiet evening and we went for a very cold swim. We had such a relaxing time. He looks at me with tenderness and seems to care deeply for me. Though when I look in his eyes, he seems troubled.

    I caught him mumbling to himself one time about how he isn’t sure what to do. I know he favors Demi and he seems to gaze in the direction of the Bard College often. He forgets himself sometimes when we are walking and turns to look at its spiraling towers. When she sat in the commons with us, he stares at her. Is he waiting for her to give him a sign?

    I confronted him about her and he seemed jumpy and defensive. He said that she was with him when he found his tribe turned into zombies. He said she saw everything he did. I told him about if he wanted to leave me for her, I would not hold a grudge and I wouldn’t. I know he and she outclass me for that matter. I know my place in this world. I know my status. Both of them are better than me. There is nothing I can do about it. I am a half-elf who grew up in a low class tavern. I’m nothing more than a barmaid pretending to be a bard.

    He reassures me that he wants to be with me and not her. Though his words sound very similar to Chiero’s. Chiero also told me he doesn’t know what to do. I found him earlier and he explained that he loves Cyna and me. “He doesn’t know what to do.” he tells me. He loves us both. I wonder if Rick feels the same way.

    Should I be upset with this? No words of fidelity have been professed. Should I find another person to spend my time with? Should I just settle with being one of two? Should I just wait patiently until they make up their minds? Or should I use them both? I guess I don’t know what to do either.

    Maybe it’s time for me to move on again and not be bothered with such confusion.


  • Dear Diary,

    I went on an exploration with Chiero. Rick was busy talking with Elliahna….not really sure of her name but I think she is a priest in the Helm temple on the hill. It was obvious that he had private things to discuss so I found my good friend Chiero sitting alone.

    He is such a nice guy and broken hearted over Cyna. I can tell he really loves her and it bothers him that he was unfaithful to her with someone. Days ago I caught him with his travel pack heading somewhere with a distraught look on his face. I asked him what as wrong and he explained it to me with such emotion that his accent took over.

    He had to explain it to me in sign language. That I understood. That and the fact that his face was ashamed and full of guilt. He told me to look after Cyna and to tell Rick to do the same. Of course I would look after her. She seems so nice and I would hate to see her hurt. I remember when Rick and I were sitting by the well, she snuck up behind us and wet us playfully. I knew then that she would be a great friend and someone I would like to get to know better. I wish he didn’t do what he did in the temple’s basement. He was so embarrassed when he told me, I didn’t ask who and even if he told me, I doubt I would have understood him with his nervous accent.

    So anyway, I’m digressing. Chiero and I set off for an exploration and a few hin joined up with us. We ran into some orcs that were very frightening! We made it to a top of a hill to rest and Chiero found a cave. He came up with the idea of doing a little cave exploring. He said he would go in first to have a look around. Next thing I know I hear him scream for us to run. A rather large white wolf was chasing him. It had already chewed him up a lot because it’s snowy fur was coated in blood. I ran as fast as I could towards town. I heard the poor hin screaming too. It caught up with me and bit at my ankles then lunged at my waist. Everything went dark. Then I woke up back in Jiyyd and thought I saw a god. But later discovered it was only Samin’s sensei, Hugh. The others said I died but I don’t believe them. I was just knocked out. Though for days I had this terrible cold feeling inside. Oh, I don’t want to think about it.

    So, a few days later I’m wondering where my travel buddy Chiero is. I wonder if he’s alive or not. No word from any townsfolk regarding him. Anyway my handsome Rick professes his worry and takes care of me. He asks that I travel with him to find some copper. We make a slow trip to Norwick’s woods enjoying eachother’s company. During the return trip I see a welcomed sight. Cyna and Chiero are together! I think this is great because they can finally work things out. To my surprise, Cyna yells at me and prepares to blast me with magic! She has her angry face on and Chiero ran between us and yelled for me to run. I have no clue what that was all about! Rick and others tell me to go with them and not to bother for I was trying to get to the bottom of it. I thought maybe she thought I stole something but I really don’t know how to steal I can’t even unlock traps right! Oh, I hope things work out. I like Cyna and Chiero and hope they can at least be friends. I hope I can be her friend. Oh, I’m so confused.