Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress
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Entry 131
Ugh, what a day. We tried to rescue Rico (the Sunite paladin) who got trapped in the kobold caverns. It didn't go so well. We ended up almost needing rescuing ourselves. The kobolds didn't appreciate the strength of force we had and pulled in a LOT of powerful lizardmen allies to fight us. Three of us were killed. I almost died too. It probably wouldn't have been that bad if Rith didn't answer some negotiations with a summoning spell.
And of course, she was upset after all was said and done because we scolded her for it. The others probably won't understand that she's upset at herself more than us…
Oh well...
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Entry 130
I hadn't done a lot during my pregnancy, since I didn't want to put my childrens' lives in danger. After the pregnancy? Still not doing a lot. Mostly because two baby girls take a LOT of time and care. Of course, Jerrick does a lot as well; it's not just me. I probably would have gone crazy (as if I'm not) if I was left to raise these two girls by myself.
Did I mention they are crawling? Fragile and sharp objects have been relocated to higher places.
Did I also mention they turn feline? Usually, it's when I'm around and I shapeshift. They do become more mobile when they shapeshift. And act like adorable kittens. I think we are going to need to grow some belladonna here at the house in case Jerrick gets bitten.
As much as I love my kittens, I have been feeling a bit stir crazy. It got bad enough that I found myself agreeing to go with Val into the Norwick crypt down and down into the underdark caverns. I hate the crypts. Disgusting undead and enclosed spaces. Yet, there I was with Val, Troff, Diadne, a dwarf who's name I forget, Caelisar, and Saria. I have to admit, I managed to enjoy the adventure. It was good exercise at the least. We put some undead to rest. Cleared the caves below of foul umberhulks and hook horrors.
Most of all, the people I were with were good company. Val's voice singing out to raise our spirits and crush the enemies' will. Troff holding scores of undead at a doorway so we could fight them on our terms. Diadne purging the caverns with well placed flame spells. Caelisar calling on Lurue's holy magic. Saria tenaciously fighting with but her hands and feet. And myself using my claws to tear up foes. The dwarf was pretty competent too, though he left us after clearing half of the second floor.
I haven't fought beside many of these people too much before. Yet we all worked together as if we had done so hundreds of times. A few mistakes made here and there, of course. But when one stumbled, the rest of us adapted to keep each of us alive. This little adventure didn't get me any money. I think, however, I came out of it with something more valuable. People I know I can trust.
In other news, there seems to be a buzz in the air about the Hoarans. Both Thorn and Devlin wanted me to check something out. All the while, Devlin's talking about how war is coming against the Hoarans. I'm not sure what has spurred it, but it doesn't surprise me. Jonathan gave me the impression before of being too willing to repeat the past. I've got mixed emotions about the notion of warring with the Hoarans. On one hand, there are still some true Romani in the camp. On the other hand, the Hoarans did slowly take over the camp and pushed many of us out all us Gali and many of the Romani. And I still have suspicions about Jonni's death.
I won't go looking for trouble there. But I also won't sit back if they attack me or my family.
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Entry 129
Rith came back! We had a wonderfully tearful reunion at the den. I wish I had been the one to first greet her, but Tindra was the one in control at the time. She gave Rith a slap upside the head. Okay, it probably was deserved, but I don't think I could have brought myself to do it.
She denies something was bothering her. I know better though. I'll get it out of her later. For now, I'm just glad she returned. She better not do this again. At least tell me first!
The Seldarine festival was fun. I danced, drank some wine (finally!), and had a challenging round of archery against Ael'Que. I wish Jerrick could have come too.
_Of course she deserved that slap! Even Tawny did it. I should have hit harder, honestly. I would have if Fadia wasn't there.
Gods help her if she does this again to you…_
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Entry 128
I just want to know why. What pains my sister so? Something must be bothering her. Did I somehow push her away? What happened? I want so much to be with her and help her, like a sister should.If she really needed to leave, I… I guess I could accept that. I can't follow now, not with having two baby girls to take care of. A goodbye would have been nice. A promise to come back. A promise to keep in touch.
Don't keep me in the dark, Rith.
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Entry 127
_Aha, found some of Jerrick's ink.By Selûne, it's been a trying few days. We can't find Rith anywhere. Lorie's assumed right away that Rith left. Which looks to be the correct assumption.
She's upset about it. Very upset. Hence the spilled ink. She was shaking so much that she knocked the vial over as she went to write down her thoughts. At least she isn't letting this affect how she's treating the kittens. She doesn't want to leave the house though.
Well, she does want to leave the house but not to go to town…
Quite frankly, I don't blame Lorie for being upset. I'm quite angry. Lorie is hurt by Rith leaving. They had a promise not to leave without the other. She wants to follow her sister very badly. She can't, of course, because of the kittens. It pains her, to be unable to do anything about it.
If I could talk to Rith right now... I'm not sure what I'd say. What I do know, is that I'd give her a slap upside the head._
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Entry 126
What about our promise, dammit!! I
*** A splattering of pink ink blotches scatter across the page, with one big blob in the center which runs down the page. ***
<g>FARK!</g>
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Entry 125
I am now a proud mother of two adorable twin girls. Jerrick and I decided we would each name one. The name I chose is "Elaine Xixia" and he chose "Leena Lynn". And of course, they will share Jerrick's family name, Rayfe.
I still feel spent, even though it's been a couple of days since the birth. It wasn't easy, I think the twins complicated it a bit. I'm no stranger to pain, yet I have to say that it was quite intense. It wasn't the worst pain I've felt, not even close. But it had meaning. This wasn't pain for the sake of harming me, but so that two new lives could enter the world. Rith and Jerrick were with me though, so I was sure that if anything truly went wrong, the twins and I would still be fine.
And right away I learn my first of many hard lessons about motherhood. Right now I'd love nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep the whole night through. And I probably will try after I finish writing. I just finished feeding the twins. So I'll go to bed, and it'll be just after I start dreaming that two piercing cries will jolt me awake.
First lesson: Babies have their own schedule, and to hell with what the sun and moon say what time it is.
_Lorie was right. That was a promising dream, too.
I don't think I've ever been so grateful for my sorcery than now. Prestigitation is terrific for cleaning up the babes when changing diapers.
I know I've said that these will be Lorie's kids, and they will be. I can't help but feel motherly to them also. I'm not surprised, I was with Lorie throughout it all.
Damn, they're cute. Even when they are crying. They must be hungry again._
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Entry 124
Twins. Wow. At least it's not a litter.
I can't help but ponder over the rest of the seer's words and the mirror's vision. After talking things over with Rith and Jerrick, I think I figured out a some things.
"Two by two , one remain true. One's loss is one's gain, but not both, all the same. Both profit, one stays, but both remain. There is change. Change changes too. One will never change again."
– We become two people. One's body stays as we are. The other, however, will not be the same. She will not be a werecat anymore."Not an end. Two beginnings."
-- Unsure about this section. Perhaps related to how we'll do the split?"Both are needed for both. Opposites from you, but the same."
-- Jerrick suggests this means that we'll need both Andu and himself to perform the ritual.The mirror's vision supports the meaning that one of us will not be a werecat after. And that will be a heartfelt loss. I agree with it, the idea of never being a werecat pains me. It must bother Tindra too.
But which of us should suffer that fate? Tindra's right, it is a sacrifice.
I would do it. Tindra deserves her life back. This was all my fault. Jerrick would chide me right now for writing that, but there is no denying the truth. I made that stupid deal with the fey. I helped those nightmares come to life. I let them go unchecked.
No matter what happens, I will make the most of my life though. I will be with Jerrick and my kittens. Andu and Tindra will be happy together also. There will be a happy ending to all this, I swear.
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_~Interlude~
Pixie Quest V: From Pixie, With LoveLife just couldn't get much better for Tojan. Her Kitty was back. And Dark Kitty was still here. That was a big relief to Fang and Sunny especially, but Tojan was sure that Violet and Glimmer would have missed Dark Kitty an awful lot too. Even Tojan would have missed her. As if having her Kitty back wasn't enough to celebrate about, Dark Kitty was pregnant with twins.
She was working on a project in the empty room of the den, keeping it secret from everybody. She had simply said that it was a present for the Kittens and would say no more. Tojan's excitement wouldn't keep her still even while she worked on her project. Every so often, she'd dance through the air with happy glee.
"Kittens! We're gonna have new Kittens!" she exclaimed for the umpteenth time.
Tawny just sighed and covered her ears with her paws where she lay in Sunny's room. She could just nudge a lever on that funny box and make some pretty sounds play out to drown out the pixie, but she wanted silence. The lioness pondered pouncing the pixie so she could have a little bit of quiet.
"Tojan, are you about?" called out Dark Kitty from another room.
Tojan left the room, making sure to close and lock the door behind her. "Whatcha need, Dark Kitty?"
Dark Kitty was looking very pregnant now. "Just letting you know that I'm heading back to Norwick to spend time with Sunny."
"You need to think of staying put in one spot, it's gotta be difficult to move around so much." Tojan replied.
The half-elf nodded, "Yeah… I'll probably be staying at the Shrine of Lathander more now."
"And why hasn't Sunny been around here? Tawny misses her, I can tell."
"Sunny isn't feeling Sunny. Something happened that brought back bad memories."
Tojan frowned, "Poor Sunny..."
The pixie flew back and forth Sunny's room with the frown still on her face. Tawny's eyes followed the pixie as she paced. The lioness was thankful for the silence, but it felt wrong to see the plucky pixie in a glum mood. Perhaps she could make a playful pounce to get the pixie's mind off whatever is wrong? Tojan stopped her pacing and had a determined look. "Tawny," she said, "We've gotta make Sunny feel Sunny again. It's going to take some work, but I think we can do it. Are you with me?" Tawny cocked her head to the side and gave the pixie a curious look. "Mrrraawrr?" she inquired. Tojan sighed. "I really should ask Kitty to teach me how to speak to cats..."
Tojan flew between the berry bushes, plucking some berries off their branches and placing them into a large basket. She hummed as she worked, happier now that she had a pl an. She looked in the basket, which was full of different color berries and flowers. Satisfied with her bounty, the pixie picked up the basket.
A green goblin suddenly jumped at the pixie from a hiding spot. He brandished a crude club and swung it at her, almost knocking the basket from her hands.
"EEEK!" Tojan cried out. "Go away!"
"Bug give yummies!" the goblin snarled back. The goblin lifted his club to swing again as Tojan tried to fly out of the way with the heavy basket. A low growl rumbled through the air, making the goblin pause. "Wut wuz dat?"
There was a rustle in the branches above, and the goblin looked up and yelped in fear. He never had the chance to run, as a large golden-furred form landed on top of the goblin, crushing him.
Tojan sighed in relief. "Thanks Tawny."
The lioness purred back to the pixie and looked quite satisfied at having_ finally _pounced something.
A piece of parchment was laid out on the floor. Tojan carried various crude paints made from the items she gathered. She picked up a makeshift brush made from a stick with a bunch of fur tied at one end. Tawny yawned nearby, having finished her rabbit meal. For the next hour, Tojan worked. Finally, she set her brush down and inspected her work. The painting was certainly no masterpiece. An observer would likely guess that it was done by a child, though the thought didn't cross Tojan's mind. There was a woman with yellow hair, wearing orange armor. She stood on a grassy field, and nearby was an orange feline and a little figure with pixie wings. The feline and pixie had smilie faces, as did the woman. Underneath the picture, in big letters, was the following message:_ YOU ARE OUR SUNSHINE! _Satisfied, Tojan fluttered back down and gave the painting a signature of sorts, a pixie face with wings at the bottom of the parchment. "Tawny! Come here!" The lioness raised her head lazily and gave the pixie a look. She sighed and stood up, then padded over to Tojan. "Okay, put your paw in this paint. Come on! Oh, fiddlesticks, do I need to do this for you? Here…" Tojan lifted the lioness's paw and pushed it into a glob of red paint. She then moved the paw over the parchment and pressed it down, leaving a red paw print. Tawny picked up her paw and sniffed at the paint with a frown. "Perfect! Sunny will just ~love~ this!" Tojan giggled happily. "What do you think, Tawn- ACK!" Tawny, feeling rather annoyed at having icky stuff on her paw, swatted at the pixie with the paint covered paw. Tojan fell to the ground covered in red paint. Tawny hrmphed and walked back to her corner and began to lick her paw clean. Tojan sat up and looked down at herself. "Oh the things I go through..."
An hour later, Tojan was clean and the painting was dry. She rolled up the painting and flew off to Norwick to deliver her present._
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Entry 123
_*** The following seems to be quickly written, as if the writer wished to jot down something important before it was forgotten. ***Two by two , one remain true.
One's loss is one's gain, but not both, all the same.
Both profit, one stays, but both remain. There is change. Change changes too. One will never change again.
Not an end. -She flinched here, as if struck.-
Two beginnings… -She sounded startled-
Both are needed for both. Opposites from you, but the same.
-She slumped quietly, her mirror fell to the ground. Perhaps out of curiosity, I couldn't help but pick it up and look-I saw my reflection and Lorelai, two halves as one. Whiskers appear on one half, the other looks pained. The whiskers move to the other half, the former looks pained. Thus it alternates several times.
The view then moved lower. Two glows at my belly. I see whiskers too.
Then the mirror snapped.
Two glows... twins. We're having [twins.](fbe74059f7) As for the rest, I am unsure if my question is answered. It will be a sacrifice…_
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Entry 122
The day was going well. A relaxing Fight Night spent with my sisters and Jerrick. I'm starting to get a handle on the morning sickness. I can feel the baby kicking now. I placed Jerrick's hand on my belly so he could feel the baby also. The look of awe on his face was too cute.
We were going to get to the house for some tea and snacks after Fight Night, but that was delayed by an attack from the goblins. They were trying to do something with the menhir, and were thankfully stopped. How I wish there was a way to permanently turn off that set of menhir.
When we did eventually get to Jerrick's house, I was feeling tired and took a nap. I'm not sure if that was for the best or not, considering what happened. Our dreams were pleasant enough, but at the end of the dream this nightmarish figure appeared and reached out. We could feel something pulled out of us. Dark things, as I looked at them I felt a pang of fear. Images of the Dark Enchantress, of judging Helmites, of myself gone evil. These were the Nightmares. They clawed at us as they were taken away, collected by the large figure. Before he disappeared, I heard a whisper from him, but couldn't understand what he said.
I let Tindra wake, I felt I've taken a lot of time lately. We had a nasty headache when we woke. Jerrick had some medicine ready for us, and explained that there was a new Nightmare Fey, and that he took away all remains of the nightmares the original gave me. Quickly Tindra shoved me back into control, telling me that Rith needs me.
Rith was frightened, terrified. The Fey had done something before he left. Something that disturbed her. I can think of only one thing that would shake her this much, the Drow priestess that had her captive. That fucking bastard better hope he never crosses me again. To make her relive that terrible time…
Now I am the one helping my sister with her nightmares. We all are.
<g>Farking</g> Fey.
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Entry 121
Endgame.
My friends leave to battle the threat of a certain dark goddess and her doom for Peltarch. Deep in my heart, I wish I was with them. For one thing, I've been involved in getting this far. But most of all, I want to be fighting beside those I care about. Rith, Fadia, Lune, Aelthas, Ronan, Lycka, Thorn, Eluriel, Val…
I see the sun rising right now. I think I'll go to the shrine of Lathander and pray. May we see this nightmare end, and see many new dawns rise to greet my child-to-be.
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Entry 120
_I headed to Peltarch to see about buying some outfits to wear through the pregnancy. Lorie and I have many tight fitting outfits that aren't fitting now. I was also hoping to run into Eluriel, since she was wanting to talk.Neither happened. The city is in a panic. Riots in the streets, people trying to flee. All because of an announcement of danger from Ronan. I guess he felt the need to warn the populace of the oncoming threat of "misfortune."
Rith had me book immediate passage back to Norwick. We don't want to put the child in danger. Not just from whatever is behind the threat, but by the rioters.
Lorelai's a bit upset by it. She knows she has to take it easy, but she was getting quite involved before the pregnancy. It irks her that she won't be at her friends' side to help them. We'll do what we can, though. Perhaps get Aelthas and Lycka's children down to the den for safety. Maybe hunt some food for the town for when the refugees come in. And most of all… pray for our friends to overcome this threat._
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Entry 119
I missed Fight Night. Damn nausea.
In lieu of Fight Night, I ended up spending a quiet evening with Troff. He's still trying to come to terms with getting over Adriell. He still loves her. I know exactly how he feels on that, having lived it myself. Granted, that feels like so long ago now that I have Jerrick, a child on the way, and a marriage sometime on the horizon.
Troff's problems are more than just he and Adriell, however. He's quite worried that people don't want to be with him, especially Fadia and Rith. I don't think there's any intentional shunning. We've just been so involved with this "Banish Misfortune" problem. And the information on it is being kept closely guarded. We only want those that everybody trusts to know about it (which has made life way too complicated for me, to be honest). So when we run off just ourselves to talk about it, people like Troff feel like we are pushing them away.
I tried to explain that and gave Troff my assurance that Rith and Fadia having mentioned anything against him. Still, I don't think my words helped as much as I wish they did.
On a happier note from Troff, he told me not to get a crib. He is going to give us a crib as an early wedding present. I really do appreciate the gift. It's one less thing I have to worry about!
I wish the night was completely without worry. I overheard Fadia talking to Eluriel and Sy'wyn. The Order is planning not to simply bar Jerrick from all their properties, but anybody connected to the Circle. The basis for the decision is because there are druids who serve the Furies.
I'm upset, though I kept a smile on my face while talking to Troff. It's as if none of the good I do means a thing to them. The trust and kinship Rith has placed in me Is nothing to them.
I hate fanaticism.
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Entry 118
_Lorelai and I both easily agree on one thing. Morning sickness sucks. Fadia's ginger cookies have helped some. Even so, we really don't like the nausea. It's also making it difficult when we try "switching". The disorientation from the switch bring up the nausea all over again.It'll pass, I hope.
Marriage for Lorelai, huh? I'm beyond the point of reflecting on the strangeness of our situation. So I'll be happy for her. I wonder if she'll actually get her wedding. Andu and I always meant to have a nice official wedding, but it never happened._
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Entry 116
I feel so giddy, especially now that it's sinking in.
Jerrick gave me his little surprise. He took me into the Rawlinswood, past my home and up some cliffs. After some careful climbing, we found ourselves in a wonderful forest. Everything felt so peaceful and quiet. No goblins running about. Just trees, grass, brooks, and ourselves. He showed me a willow tree, which he often sits at here to get away from the stresses that may bother him.
It was there, under the willow tree, surrounded by beautiful woods that he offered up a lovely ring and asked me to marry him.
I'm going to be getting married!!
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Entry 115
I got my wish and talked to Arthro. He stopped by to talk to Jerrick. I, Lorelai, do not remember our world's Arthro. Tindra would. I let her know about this new one and she was very edgy. I think she believes me when I say he's different.
Arthro follows Gwaeron instead of Malar. We told him about our world's Arthro. He shared with us the fates of his world's Tindra and Fadia, so I thought it was only fair that he knew the fate of his alternate. It was an interesting comparison. Where his story differs from this world's Arthro is that in the initial attack on Fadia, Arthro was caught and had his faith tested and he came to the conclusion that it was without meaning to hunt for no purpose. Thus, he changed faiths.
It's interesting how one little detail can so radically change a person's life.
My alternate's fate? Death by torture at the hand of the evil alternate Eluriel. From the sounds of it, it was very gruesome and there wasn't enough left to resurrect.
I appreciate living.
Still, Jerrick was a bit wary. Arthro could still be lying. He took him before the druids and had Arthro put his hand on the ritual stone in the center of our circle and profess to the gods who his faith belongs to. The idea was that if he was lying, surely he would be struck down as an imposter by Gwaeron. Perhaps Malar would too. Or both. Arthro was telling the truth though, as evidenced by the gods granting a sign of acceptance. Jerrick decided to take things a bit further and call on the druid elders to swear before the gods their dedication to the balance of nature above their own ambitions. All agreed save one, Lonetree. She even walked out. Elder Ronan believes that she is too focused on reclaiming the elven camp. Jerrick's response was to call a vote of no confidence on Lonetree and that he be placed back as a voting Elder in her place.
He also thinks we need an archdruid again. Most of the elders seem to be open to the idea. If it does happen, it'll likely be Elder Rainhammer. Honestly, I think I could agree with that. He's been a fair and level-headed person by all I've seen.
Afterward, Jerrick and I got to sit down for a nice dinner by ourselves without interruption. Amazing, eh? He still wants to take me somewhere, too. I look forward to whatever surprise he is working on.
Side note: Tindra claiming to be an "alternate" of ourselves? That is tempting. We'd need to come up with some convincing details though.
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Entry 114
_Lorelai says I can use this diary if I want, so I think I will. It looks like we ran out of the purple ink, but I found this vial of lovely rosey ink. Tojan instantly recognized the color and exclaimed proudly that she made it for Rith and Lorelai. I have to say, my pixie picked a pretty color.I'm slowly starting to get a feel for things, though I keep getting lost when people start discussing this "alternate world" problem that's going on. Of course, I haven't been here from the start. Sure, I've read Lorelai's notes in this diary and have asked her about it. I've even read a letter that a woman named Val sent that recounts what has happened and tries to make sense of it all. It's painfully confusing. I think I'll leave it to Lorelai.
I've enjoyed some time with Fadia, Rith, Lune, and Thorn. They do help make me feel comfortable. And I saw Aelthas a while back, with his wife Lycka. Also met that Ronan fellow. I'm rather impressed at how skilled of a spellcaster he is.
I should try to meet other people soon. It's not good to keep to myself. But the problem is that I won't know people who will think they know me.
I wonder… Maybe I could try to pass myself off as an "alternate"?_
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Entry 113
By Selûne, has it been getting crazy. I don't mean Tindra and I, I mean the "past" that keeps swallowing up people for a time or spitting others out. It just gets stranger and stranger. It's not exactly our "past". Things differ. People differ. I ended up fighting a corrupted form of Lady Daisy in the Temple of Tyr. People from that alternate timeline have claimed that Eluriel was the traitor, not Kara like in our timeline. Arthro even has been seen, but not a Malarite as we knew him.
It's the visitors to our timeline that worry me. Eluriel's been attacked multiple times. The visitors don't seem to be as willing to believe they are somewhere else. What could prove it? I'll have to think on that. Wonder if I could try talking to this alternate "Arthro". It seemed like he was level-headed by what I was told.
But is this alternate realm "real" or just illusion?
Maybe I shouldn't try to worry about it too much. I need to take it easy. Don't want to risk harm to the child.
Rith has honored me beyond any words of gratitude I could ever say. She gave me a painting of the two of us, painted by herself with some help from a friend. It's beautiful and, most importantly, meaningful. The two of us side by side, with the sun and moon merged behind us in the background. "The Astral Twins." I love the inscription on the plaque as well.
And then she also gave me a beautiful music box, an angel with crystals. It plays a lovely lullubye. It looks like Val made it for her, I'll have to thank her also. Rith meant to give it to Jerrick and I after the child was born, but I got her too mushy last night.
My pregnancy has been hard on Rith a bit. Oh, she's happy for me and looks forward to being a wonderful aunt. But it's just another reminder that she cannot have children herself. I've at least made her feel better. I wish I could do more.
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Entry 112
_This was quite a read. I think I do feel better having read it too. It eased any lingering fears I had about Lorelai. She has shown herself to be a good person. I don't think people like Rith would be her friend otherwise.Rith. She seems to be an interesting subject. I like her so far. A nice person, considerate of others. In many ways, she seems so very different from Lorelai and I that I wonder how the two became such close friends. The diary did illuminate the answers to that question, I think. Under the differences, there are similarities that bring the two together. I don't mean physical (though I am quite amazed at how similar our faces are). I talk of the desire to belong, the need to do good in the world, the shadows of our past that haunt… I'm not sure if I will share the same bond with Rith as my counterpart does, but I do think I am happy to count her as a friend.
I am amazed at the present she has for Lorelai. Or "Lorie" as she's known to her friends. I'm not going to write down here what it is. Trust me Lorie, it's best as a surprise._