3. Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress

Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress


  • Entry 124

    Twins. Wow. At least it's not a litter.

    I can't help but ponder over the rest of the seer's words and the mirror's vision. After talking things over with Rith and Jerrick, I think I figured out a some things.

    "Two by two , one remain true. One's loss is one's gain, but not both, all the same. Both profit, one stays, but both remain. There is change. Change changes too. One will never change again."
    – We become two people. One's body stays as we are. The other, however, will not be the same. She will not be a werecat anymore.

    "Not an end. Two beginnings."
    -- Unsure about this section. Perhaps related to how we'll do the split?

    "Both are needed for both. Opposites from you, but the same."
    -- Jerrick suggests this means that we'll need both Andu and himself to perform the ritual.

    The mirror's vision supports the meaning that one of us will not be a werecat after. And that will be a heartfelt loss. I agree with it, the idea of never being a werecat pains me. It must bother Tindra too.

    But which of us should suffer that fate? Tindra's right, it is a sacrifice.

    I would do it. Tindra deserves her life back. This was all my fault. Jerrick would chide me right now for writing that, but there is no denying the truth. I made that stupid deal with the fey. I helped those nightmares come to life. I let them go unchecked.

    No matter what happens, I will make the most of my life though. I will be with Jerrick and my kittens. Andu and Tindra will be happy together also. There will be a happy ending to all this, I swear.


  • _~Interlude~
    Pixie Quest V: From Pixie, With Love

    Life just couldn't get much better for Tojan. Her Kitty was back. And Dark Kitty was still here. That was a big relief to Fang and Sunny especially, but Tojan was sure that Violet and Glimmer would have missed Dark Kitty an awful lot too. Even Tojan would have missed her. As if having her Kitty back wasn't enough to celebrate about, Dark Kitty was pregnant with twins.

    She was working on a project in the empty room of the den, keeping it secret from everybody. She had simply said that it was a present for the Kittens and would say no more. Tojan's excitement wouldn't keep her still even while she worked on her project. Every so often, she'd dance through the air with happy glee.

    "Kittens! We're gonna have new Kittens!" she exclaimed for the umpteenth time.

    Tawny just sighed and covered her ears with her paws where she lay in Sunny's room. She could just nudge a lever on that funny box and make some pretty sounds play out to drown out the pixie, but she wanted silence. The lioness pondered pouncing the pixie so she could have a little bit of quiet.

    "Tojan, are you about?" called out Dark Kitty from another room.

    Tojan left the room, making sure to close and lock the door behind her. "Whatcha need, Dark Kitty?"

    Dark Kitty was looking very pregnant now. "Just letting you know that I'm heading back to Norwick to spend time with Sunny."

    "You need to think of staying put in one spot, it's gotta be difficult to move around so much." Tojan replied.

    The half-elf nodded, "Yeah… I'll probably be staying at the Shrine of Lathander more now."

    "And why hasn't Sunny been around here? Tawny misses her, I can tell."

    "Sunny isn't feeling Sunny. Something happened that brought back bad memories."

    Tojan frowned, "Poor Sunny..."

    
The pixie flew back and forth Sunny's room with the frown still on her face. Tawny's eyes followed the pixie as she paced. The lioness was thankful for the silence, but it felt wrong to see the plucky pixie in a glum mood. Perhaps she could make a playful pounce to get the pixie's mind off whatever is wrong?

Tojan stopped her pacing and had a determined look. "Tawny," she said, "We've gotta make Sunny feel Sunny again. It's going to take some work, but I think we can do it. Are you with me?"

Tawny cocked her head to the side and gave the pixie a curious look. "Mrrraawrr?" she inquired.

Tojan sighed. "I really should ask Kitty to teach me how to speak to cats..."

    Tojan flew between the berry bushes, plucking some berries off their branches and placing them into a large basket. She hummed as she worked, happier now that she had a pl an. She looked in the basket, which was full of different color berries and flowers. Satisfied with her bounty, the pixie picked up the basket.

    A green goblin suddenly jumped at the pixie from a hiding spot. He brandished a crude club and swung it at her, almost knocking the basket from her hands.

    "EEEK!" Tojan cried out. "Go away!"

    "Bug give yummies!" the goblin snarled back. The goblin lifted his club to swing again as Tojan tried to fly out of the way with the heavy basket. A low growl rumbled through the air, making the goblin pause. "Wut wuz dat?"

    There was a rustle in the branches above, and the goblin looked up and yelped in fear. He never had the chance to run, as a large golden-furred form landed on top of the goblin, crushing him.

    Tojan sighed in relief. "Thanks Tawny."

    The lioness purred back to the pixie and looked quite satisfied at having_ finally _pounced something.

    
A piece of parchment was laid out on the floor. Tojan carried various crude paints made from the items she gathered. She picked up a makeshift brush made from a stick with a bunch of fur tied at one end. Tawny yawned nearby, having finished her rabbit meal. For the next hour, Tojan worked. Finally, she set her brush down and inspected her work.

The painting was certainly no masterpiece. An observer would likely guess that it was done by a child, though the thought didn't cross Tojan's mind. There was a woman with yellow hair, wearing orange armor. She stood on a grassy field, and nearby was an orange feline and a little figure with pixie wings. The feline and pixie had smilie faces, as did the woman.

Underneath the picture, in big letters, was the following message:_ YOU ARE OUR SUNSHINE! _Satisfied, Tojan fluttered back down and gave the painting a signature of sorts, a pixie face with wings at the bottom of the parchment.

"Tawny! Come here!"

The lioness raised her head lazily and gave the pixie a look. She sighed and stood up, then padded over to Tojan.

"Okay, put your paw in this paint. Come on! Oh, fiddlesticks, do I need to do this for you? Here…"

Tojan lifted the lioness's paw and pushed it into a glob of red paint. She then moved the paw over the parchment and pressed it down, leaving a red paw print. Tawny picked up her paw and sniffed at the paint with a frown.

"Perfect! Sunny will just ~love~ this!" Tojan giggled happily. "What do you think, Tawn- ACK!"

Tawny, feeling rather annoyed at having icky stuff on her paw, swatted at the pixie with the paint covered paw. Tojan fell to the ground covered in red paint. Tawny hrmphed and walked back to her corner and began to lick her paw clean.

Tojan sat up and looked down at herself. "Oh the things I go through..."

    An hour later, Tojan was clean and the painting was dry. She rolled up the painting and flew off to Norwick to deliver her present._


  • Entry 123
    _*** The following seems to be quickly written, as if the writer wished to jot down something important before it was forgotten. ***

    Two by two , one remain true.
    One's loss is one's gain, but not both, all the same.
    Both profit, one stays, but both remain. There is change. Change changes too. One will never change again.
    Not an end. -She flinched here, as if struck.-
    Two beginnings… -She sounded startled-
    Both are needed for both. Opposites from you, but the same.
    -She slumped quietly, her mirror fell to the ground. Perhaps out of curiosity, I couldn't help but pick it up and look-

    I saw my reflection and Lorelai, two halves as one. Whiskers appear on one half, the other looks pained. The whiskers move to the other half, the former looks pained. Thus it alternates several times.

    The view then moved lower. Two glows at my belly. I see whiskers too.

    Then the mirror snapped.

    
Two glows... twins. We're having [twins.](fbe74059f7)

As for the rest, I am unsure if my question is answered. It will be a sacrifice…_

  • Entry 122

    The day was going well. A relaxing Fight Night spent with my sisters and Jerrick. I'm starting to get a handle on the morning sickness. I can feel the baby kicking now. I placed Jerrick's hand on my belly so he could feel the baby also. The look of awe on his face was too cute.

    We were going to get to the house for some tea and snacks after Fight Night, but that was delayed by an attack from the goblins. They were trying to do something with the menhir, and were thankfully stopped. How I wish there was a way to permanently turn off that set of menhir.

    When we did eventually get to Jerrick's house, I was feeling tired and took a nap. I'm not sure if that was for the best or not, considering what happened. Our dreams were pleasant enough, but at the end of the dream this nightmarish figure appeared and reached out. We could feel something pulled out of us. Dark things, as I looked at them I felt a pang of fear. Images of the Dark Enchantress, of judging Helmites, of myself gone evil. These were the Nightmares. They clawed at us as they were taken away, collected by the large figure. Before he disappeared, I heard a whisper from him, but couldn't understand what he said.

    I let Tindra wake, I felt I've taken a lot of time lately. We had a nasty headache when we woke. Jerrick had some medicine ready for us, and explained that there was a new Nightmare Fey, and that he took away all remains of the nightmares the original gave me. Quickly Tindra shoved me back into control, telling me that Rith needs me.

    Rith was frightened, terrified. The Fey had done something before he left. Something that disturbed her. I can think of only one thing that would shake her this much, the Drow priestess that had her captive. That fucking bastard better hope he never crosses me again. To make her relive that terrible time…

    Now I am the one helping my sister with her nightmares. We all are.

    <g>Farking</g> Fey.


  • Entry 121

    Endgame.

    My friends leave to battle the threat of a certain dark goddess and her doom for Peltarch. Deep in my heart, I wish I was with them. For one thing, I've been involved in getting this far. But most of all, I want to be fighting beside those I care about. Rith, Fadia, Lune, Aelthas, Ronan, Lycka, Thorn, Eluriel, Val…

    I see the sun rising right now. I think I'll go to the shrine of Lathander and pray. May we see this nightmare end, and see many new dawns rise to greet my child-to-be.


  • Entry 120
    _I headed to Peltarch to see about buying some outfits to wear through the pregnancy. Lorie and I have many tight fitting outfits that aren't fitting now. I was also hoping to run into Eluriel, since she was wanting to talk.

    Neither happened. The city is in a panic. Riots in the streets, people trying to flee. All because of an announcement of danger from Ronan. I guess he felt the need to warn the populace of the oncoming threat of "misfortune."

    Rith had me book immediate passage back to Norwick. We don't want to put the child in danger. Not just from whatever is behind the threat, but by the rioters.

    Lorelai's a bit upset by it. She knows she has to take it easy, but she was getting quite involved before the pregnancy. It irks her that she won't be at her friends' side to help them. We'll do what we can, though. Perhaps get Aelthas and Lycka's children down to the den for safety. Maybe hunt some food for the town for when the refugees come in. And most of all… pray for our friends to overcome this threat._


  • Entry 119

    I missed Fight Night. Damn nausea.

    In lieu of Fight Night, I ended up spending a quiet evening with Troff. He's still trying to come to terms with getting over Adriell. He still loves her. I know exactly how he feels on that, having lived it myself. Granted, that feels like so long ago now that I have Jerrick, a child on the way, and a marriage sometime on the horizon.

    Troff's problems are more than just he and Adriell, however. He's quite worried that people don't want to be with him, especially Fadia and Rith. I don't think there's any intentional shunning. We've just been so involved with this "Banish Misfortune" problem. And the information on it is being kept closely guarded. We only want those that everybody trusts to know about it (which has made life way too complicated for me, to be honest). So when we run off just ourselves to talk about it, people like Troff feel like we are pushing them away.

    I tried to explain that and gave Troff my assurance that Rith and Fadia having mentioned anything against him. Still, I don't think my words helped as much as I wish they did.

    On a happier note from Troff, he told me not to get a crib. He is going to give us a crib as an early wedding present. I really do appreciate the gift. It's one less thing I have to worry about!

    I wish the night was completely without worry. I overheard Fadia talking to Eluriel and Sy'wyn. The Order is planning not to simply bar Jerrick from all their properties, but anybody connected to the Circle. The basis for the decision is because there are druids who serve the Furies.

    I'm upset, though I kept a smile on my face while talking to Troff. It's as if none of the good I do means a thing to them. The trust and kinship Rith has placed in me Is nothing to them.

    I hate fanaticism.


  • Entry 118
    _Lorelai and I both easily agree on one thing. Morning sickness sucks. Fadia's ginger cookies have helped some. Even so, we really don't like the nausea. It's also making it difficult when we try "switching". The disorientation from the switch bring up the nausea all over again.

    It'll pass, I hope.

    Marriage for Lorelai, huh? I'm beyond the point of reflecting on the strangeness of our situation. So I'll be happy for her. I wonder if she'll actually get her wedding. Andu and I always meant to have a nice official wedding, but it never happened._


  • Entry 116

    I feel so giddy, especially now that it's sinking in.

    Jerrick gave me his little surprise. He took me into the Rawlinswood, past my home and up some cliffs. After some careful climbing, we found ourselves in a wonderful forest. Everything felt so peaceful and quiet. No goblins running about. Just trees, grass, brooks, and ourselves. He showed me a willow tree, which he often sits at here to get away from the stresses that may bother him.

    It was there, under the willow tree, surrounded by beautiful woods that he offered up a lovely ring and asked me to marry him.

    I'm going to be getting married!!


  • Entry 115

    I got my wish and talked to Arthro. He stopped by to talk to Jerrick. I, Lorelai, do not remember our world's Arthro. Tindra would. I let her know about this new one and she was very edgy. I think she believes me when I say he's different.

    Arthro follows Gwaeron instead of Malar. We told him about our world's Arthro. He shared with us the fates of his world's Tindra and Fadia, so I thought it was only fair that he knew the fate of his alternate. It was an interesting comparison. Where his story differs from this world's Arthro is that in the initial attack on Fadia, Arthro was caught and had his faith tested and he came to the conclusion that it was without meaning to hunt for no purpose. Thus, he changed faiths.

    It's interesting how one little detail can so radically change a person's life.

    My alternate's fate? Death by torture at the hand of the evil alternate Eluriel. From the sounds of it, it was very gruesome and there wasn't enough left to resurrect.

    I appreciate living.

    Still, Jerrick was a bit wary. Arthro could still be lying. He took him before the druids and had Arthro put his hand on the ritual stone in the center of our circle and profess to the gods who his faith belongs to. The idea was that if he was lying, surely he would be struck down as an imposter by Gwaeron. Perhaps Malar would too. Or both. Arthro was telling the truth though, as evidenced by the gods granting a sign of acceptance. Jerrick decided to take things a bit further and call on the druid elders to swear before the gods their dedication to the balance of nature above their own ambitions. All agreed save one, Lonetree. She even walked out. Elder Ronan believes that she is too focused on reclaiming the elven camp. Jerrick's response was to call a vote of no confidence on Lonetree and that he be placed back as a voting Elder in her place.

    He also thinks we need an archdruid again. Most of the elders seem to be open to the idea. If it does happen, it'll likely be Elder Rainhammer. Honestly, I think I could agree with that. He's been a fair and level-headed person by all I've seen.

    Afterward, Jerrick and I got to sit down for a nice dinner by ourselves without interruption. Amazing, eh? He still wants to take me somewhere, too. I look forward to whatever surprise he is working on.

    Side note: Tindra claiming to be an "alternate" of ourselves? That is tempting. We'd need to come up with some convincing details though.


  • Entry 114
    _Lorelai says I can use this diary if I want, so I think I will. It looks like we ran out of the purple ink, but I found this vial of lovely rosey ink. Tojan instantly recognized the color and exclaimed proudly that she made it for Rith and Lorelai. I have to say, my pixie picked a pretty color.

    I'm slowly starting to get a feel for things, though I keep getting lost when people start discussing this "alternate world" problem that's going on. Of course, I haven't been here from the start. Sure, I've read Lorelai's notes in this diary and have asked her about it. I've even read a letter that a woman named Val sent that recounts what has happened and tries to make sense of it all. It's painfully confusing. I think I'll leave it to Lorelai.

    I've enjoyed some time with Fadia, Rith, Lune, and Thorn. They do help make me feel comfortable. And I saw Aelthas a while back, with his wife Lycka. Also met that Ronan fellow. I'm rather impressed at how skilled of a spellcaster he is.

    I should try to meet other people soon. It's not good to keep to myself. But the problem is that I won't know people who will think they know me.

    I wonder… Maybe I could try to pass myself off as an "alternate"?_


  • Entry 113

    By Selûne, has it been getting crazy. I don't mean Tindra and I, I mean the "past" that keeps swallowing up people for a time or spitting others out. It just gets stranger and stranger. It's not exactly our "past". Things differ. People differ. I ended up fighting a corrupted form of Lady Daisy in the Temple of Tyr. People from that alternate timeline have claimed that Eluriel was the traitor, not Kara like in our timeline. Arthro even has been seen, but not a Malarite as we knew him.

    It's the visitors to our timeline that worry me. Eluriel's been attacked multiple times. The visitors don't seem to be as willing to believe they are somewhere else. What could prove it? I'll have to think on that. Wonder if I could try talking to this alternate "Arthro". It seemed like he was level-headed by what I was told.

    But is this alternate realm "real" or just illusion?

    Maybe I shouldn't try to worry about it too much. I need to take it easy. Don't want to risk harm to the child.

    Rith has honored me beyond any words of gratitude I could ever say. She gave me a painting of the two of us, painted by herself with some help from a friend. It's beautiful and, most importantly, meaningful. The two of us side by side, with the sun and moon merged behind us in the background. "The Astral Twins." I love the inscription on the plaque as well.

    And then she also gave me a beautiful music box, an angel with crystals. It plays a lovely lullubye. It looks like Val made it for her, I'll have to thank her also. Rith meant to give it to Jerrick and I after the child was born, but I got her too mushy last night.

    My pregnancy has been hard on Rith a bit. Oh, she's happy for me and looks forward to being a wonderful aunt. But it's just another reminder that she cannot have children herself. I've at least made her feel better. I wish I could do more.


  • Entry 112
    _This was quite a read. I think I do feel better having read it too. It eased any lingering fears I had about Lorelai. She has shown herself to be a good person. I don't think people like Rith would be her friend otherwise.

    Rith. She seems to be an interesting subject. I like her so far. A nice person, considerate of others. In many ways, she seems so very different from Lorelai and I that I wonder how the two became such close friends. The diary did illuminate the answers to that question, I think. Under the differences, there are similarities that bring the two together. I don't mean physical (though I am quite amazed at how similar our faces are). I talk of the desire to belong, the need to do good in the world, the shadows of our past that haunt… I'm not sure if I will share the same bond with Rith as my counterpart does, but I do think I am happy to count her as a friend.

    I am amazed at the present she has for Lorelai. Or "Lorie" as she's known to her friends. I'm not going to write down here what it is. Trust me Lorie, it's best as a surprise._


  • ((OOC: From this point forward, normal font is Lorelai's handwriting, and italics is Tindra's handwriting.))

    Entry 111
    _I've read half this journal so far. It's… wow. Her emotions are so strong and fierce. I'm not saying I'm a cold fish by any means, just that she seems to let her emotions pull her harder than I let mine.

    I wonder about this Feather. Would I have seen the same things Lorelai saw in her? And Jerrick, by Selûne did she fall hard for him. It reminds me of how Andu and I fell in love. Actually, it's amusing how much Jerrick and Lorelai parallel Andu and I. In both cases, we started off as just friends. Then we both thought the other was lost. And that lose made each of us realize how much we cared.

    The parallel breaks with her denying love at first. But when she finally did, I'm sure their love was as strong as the bond I have with Andu.

    There's interesting stuff in here about her other friends, of course. Aelthas especially interests me. He became a werewolf! He's certainly come a long way. I hope he and I can spend some time together soon.

    I took a break from reading. Lorelai found Andu and let me spend some long overdue time with him. All the changes around me have made me feel so out of place. Andu, however, makes me feel at home. No matter what else has changed, I'm glad to how we feel about each other hasn't.

    Think I'll read more now._


  • Entry 110
    ** The writing on this page appears to have some differences, as if it was written by somebody else. **
    _I've yet to read this diary, even though I promised to. Why do I hesiatate? I guess I'm scared. A little part of me wishes this was another dream to wake up from. I am back to where I belong, yet I don't feel like I belong. How many years have I been trapped by the nightmares? So much has changed.

    Norwick moved north. The druids moved west and merged with a shadow circle. Jiyyd is a fiend filled wasteland. The Romani have been taken over by descendants of the Eastlanders and shut out others. Peltarch was almost destroyed in a war and has been rebuilt. There are very few people that I can recognize.

    Oh! Also, I'm pregnant and the father is not my chosen mate.

    I wonder if Lorelai felt the same when I let her have control of us.

    Part of me wishes I never did that. If I didn't, I would not have been found by the nightmares. I admit it, I am angry. Very angry. I was subjected to hell after hell after hell, reliving my fears. Why should I be expected to forgive her for this?

    Yes, I do understand Lorelai did what she did when she was herself full of hate and anger. And yes, she forgot about them, since she didn't use them after a while. But this was not just a simple slap in my face. It was not a little "oops, sorry."

    Lorelai is very ashamed. Very guilty. I could hear it in her voice. I could feel it. And she did finally get me free, with help. Her friends, begged and pleaded to me that Lorelai was remorseful. Fadia was one of those friends, even.

    I forgive Lorelai. It's tough to forgive, but in the end, I need to. Whenever I consider forgiving a person for some wrong they did to me, I ask myself if I would have done the same if I was that person.I don't have to imagine with Lorelai. She is myself taken down a different path.

    So far, I think Lorelai has made good friends. Fadia is one I know, I have the feeling I'll lean on her a lot. Rith I recognize as the woman who tended to the Lathander shrine in Old Norwick. I didn't see Rith often then, but now that I have spent some time with her I am amazed that I never noticed how much we look alike. There's Lune, who I haven't gotten to know yet. Benji's a halfling that seems more like a gnome to me than a hin. Thorn is… well, I can't say I knew him very well before. But he's a Wolf, and therefore family.

    And then there's Jerrick. The man who Lorelai fell in love with. He's the father of the baby. I do think I see what Lorelai finds charming in him. He's handsome, a bit dashing, and turns into big tiger. Figures he's a druid too...

    Okay, honestly, I'm not sure what to think about him. I expect Lorelai has the same problem when dealing with Andu. It's surreal. He's nice, but not the one I chose. And I carry his child. But then it's Lorelai's child, not mine... Lorelai said she didn't mean to get pregnant. She's worried about how I feel. I'm trying not to think too much on how I feel about this pregnancy. It's a mess enough already. I haven't had kids yet because I wanted to fix my head. And I'm afraid I'll end up with a litter like Lilliania did.

    But, a child shouldn't be something to dread. I will try to be happy. It will be Lorelai's child though. I'm fine with being the Aunty.

    Let's see what she's done with my life. Time to read._


  • Entry 109

    These nightmares are getting worse. I can't get a restful night's sleep. The tea isn't helping. Having Jerrick or Rith nearby helps some, but mostly just when I snap out of my dream and am an emotional mess from it. I feel so tired. Think I yawned five times writing this entry so far.

    Fight Night was fun again. Benji had us tossing coins instead of the usual archery. Something diffe r ent. The team fights wa s a different idea too. One team pro tec ts a targ et… the o ther one _____

    The diary entry remains unfinished as Tindra's eyes close and the quill drops from her hand. She falls out of the chair and hits the floor of Jerrick's room with a thump.


  • Entry 108

    The dinner that Chancellor Biswan held with the Senate of Peltarch went fairly well, I think. Except that Ronan made a fool of himself quite a bit with his disagreement of Norwick's stance against extraditing Banites who had aided N'jast. Personally, I would rather see the Banites meet justice too. But Biswan sees it as a matter of law. Norwick was neutral during the war. Oh, of course that just made Ronan rant even more. I'm sure it may surprise him that I don't see Dwin as a coward during the war. I probably would have done the same. He had Jiyyd's citizens to think of as well as his own, and no solid escape route should for the innocents should he have declared war.

    It did strike me a bit odd at first at just how much Ronan was pushing to have the Banite extradited. After the dinner, I realized why he feels so strongly. I think it must be because the Banite is Oscuran. Ronan had ties to that city in the past. He's seen the corruption and evil. He was almost a part of it. And THAT is why he so adamantly pushes himself against Oscura now.

    I just hope he doesn't let that become an obsession. Working against Oscura because he has seen it's evil is one thing. Trying to cut out his past because he is embarrassed of it is something else. Sure, leave it behind maybe. But don't pretend it never was. He'd be denying part of what made him who he is today.

    Biswan told me after the dinner that she wishes my aid in drafting laws of what is acceptable worship in Norwick. She wants me to help her draft them in a way that does not insult or infuriate the druid circle. I am quite happy to see she wants to keep a neighborly relationship with the druids. I am going to try to have Jerrick and Fadia both help me.

    Speaking of druids, there's this new druid in the area that is not associated with us. She seems to have set herself against the lumbering company. She thinks they are clearing out too many trees at once. I'm going to take a look into this. I thought Norwick (especially the Crafter's Union) is more careful and responsible than it was decades ago. I'd hate to see that slip. I'll make sure to talk to Biswan soon. For now, Fadia is trying to keep the druidess from hurting anybody. So far, she's succeeding.

    The only other news I have lately is that Benji's wedding is going to happen soon. He is very excited. I'm glad to see him happy. I remember how he and I sat on the cliff by the south gate and shared stories about our heartaches. Mine with Jerrick, and his with Yana. And look now, we both have found love in the end.

    Though, my "end" has a few twists and turns yet. Soon, Tindra, soon… I hope you will forgive me.


  • Entry 107

    One fish, two fish, small fish, big fish.

    Rith and I went fishing. It was a lot of relaxing fun. We caught a lot of fish too. I think I caught half a dozen, one nice and large. Rith caught about the same, but none as large as the one I caught. Most were small fish.

    Our little fishing expedition was interrupted by Fadia. She sent us an urgent message asking for some help to get to the Helmite temply in Jiyyd. She had been trying to get more information on that Burning Man we were thinking might be connected to the "Banish Misfortune" stuff. She even hung from the Irmunsel. Mielikki did give her a message, basically the Burning Man isn't related at all to the visions. She also saw an image of the Helmite temple so she figured Mielikki and Helm wanted her to get there.

    So Fadia, Rith, Lune, Benji, and myself made the dangerous trek into Jiyyd. We fought four or five hezrou, which are nasty spellcasting demons. I hate fighting them. At least I didn't get stunned by their Blasphemy spell, but it still made me blind and deaf. Lune was almost killed, but Lurue graced her and kept her alive.

    We made it to the temple, and were given a series of visions. I suppose it was easier for Helm to send these images to us on his holy ground. They were certainly interesting. We saw Just'ene's past. It's… tragic. She was rescued from some cult that almost caused a terrible evil to happen. She was certainly scarred from it. The Helmites took her in and trained her. Gave her a purpose so that the seed of evil within wouldn't grow. The visions certainly give some insight on why she was always so focused on her job of guarding Jiyyd and didn't have much of a private life outside of that.

    But what is the significance of this? Why show us Just'ene's past? I suspect that the disaster we are supposed to prevent, the misfortune we are to banish, it must be related to whatever the cult was that had her as a child.

    It's so hard to try to piece this puzzle together. We have information, but it's disjointed and incomplete. But I suppose the gods really can't just hand us everything on a platter. I hope we are at least on the right trail now.


  • Entry 106

    The nightmares are more frequent now. It's getting hard to have a night's sleep. Rith and Fadia noticed I was looking very tired. Both got me to lay down and they watched over me while I slept. Jerrick showed up too, while I had fallen asleep.

    He used his fey blessings to go into my dream. It was of a war with bugbears. Lots of bloodshed, friends dying. We were losing the battle. There was just Rith and I left. I was in my werecat form fighting off at least a half-dozen bugbears while protecting Rith who was leaning against a tree with terrible wounds. Even with all her wounds she was focusing her magic on keeping me alive. I kept wishing she would tend to herself; she was all I had left.

    And then a loud roar echoed through the woods. There was no mistaking it, it was Jerrick as his big tiger self. I felt hope return to me as I roared back, calling for his help. Moments later bounded through the trees and crashed into three of the bugbears I was fighting off, knocking them to the ground. He had shifted back and cast a spell. As a mist started forming around us he helled for Rith and I to get away. I recognized the mist; it was his Stonehold spell. I quickly grabbed Rith and leaped away just before the mist solidified around the bugbears, trapping them.

    As more bugbears came running, he yelled at me to wake up. It made no sense to me. Everything felt so real that I couldn't belive it was a dream. I could feel my heart pumping from battle. I could feel pain from my wounds. A door then appeared beside me, and he told me to enter it and wake up. I thought the door was bizarre, but this couldn't be a dream. It was too real. He didn't give up though. As his Stonehold spell caught more bugbears and his lightning spell zapped them, he reached a hand for me and asked me to trust him. I may have been confused about the fact that I was dreaming. Nothing, however, will ever confuse me about trusting Jerrick. I took his hand, and then opened the door and stepped through, not sure what to expect.

    And there I was, back in my room with my head on Rith's lap with Fadia and Jerrick next to her. It took a half moment for me to realize that, yes, it really was a dream. I'm relieved it was just that…

    Jerrick is more certain now that we are ready to face my nightmares and the fey that has created them. This will end soon.

    I just hope I'm ready to face my other half.


  • Entry 105

    Our "Troublesome Trio" has become a "Fearsome Foursome". Fadia, Rith, and I have adopted Lune into our group. She's a nice priestess of Lurue. I suppose it's natural that I take a liking to her, not only does her name have a similarity to the Moonmaiden's name, but Lune is from Silverymoon too! She's a genuinely polite and friendly person, which is probably the biggest reason for our friendship.

    Rith and I were having fun on Fight Night. Rith had purchased an armor and cloak and paid a hefty sum to have them tailored and dyed to match my own cloak and armor. The result was a confused crowd as they saw two Tindra's enter the archery competition. Poor Benji was beside himself. He wasn't sure which Tindra won the contest, so he split the prize between the two of us.

    Rith and I are from some different backgrounds, yet despite that it's interesting the similarities we do have. I mean besides looks. Perhaps the most striking similarity I've noticed is that we both have terrible creatures of darkness who had made our lives hell in the past and promise to do so again. With myself, it's the Dark Enchantress. For Rith, it's a drow high priestess.

    Some people had wanted to go hunting for some drow. We went along. After a while of searching the crypt and making it to the underground caverns below, it started to feel like less of a good idea. We were too disorganized, which is especially bad when you are part of a group as large as we were. Rith's memories of her time as a prisoner began to surface, too. I know exactly how she felt. I fell similar fears and memories haunt me when I hear talk of the Dark Enchantress, let alone actually seeing her.

    I just wish the Nightmares that haunt my sleep didn't latch onto those fears as much as they do. But I suppose they'd be poor nightmares if they didn't do so.