3. Maya's Second Journal

Maya's Second Journal


  • Entry 91 – Torn

    I guess happiness be short.

    It start when I travel north to go see who at camp. Am off duty, and spend time play with Yana, so think maybe look up friend who there sometimes. I get to north gate of Norwick, and I see Rando, Chaevre, gnome I not know, two Banite, one be Zanetar.

    Rando I do not like. I respect as warrior but is cruel person. Chaevre was knight work for Anakore, and has help defend Norwick much. Is whisper of try steal body from Peltarch for undead magic, but I hear was just try get body of friend for bring back. Was take over by evil witch name dark enchantress, but not her fault. Besides, I see dark enchantress when fight demon, so know is not in Chaevre any more.

    Zanetar is ban from Norwick though.

    I stand inside of gate while they talk, just so make sure Zanetar not enter town, and am concern all are together, and speak like have business. That is when Devlin comes, and say he must speak to me.

    It seem that Rando on trial for do something in Peltarch, and Chaevre was in prison. Both escape. People are dead. Now Peltarch want. But Mord make decision that is Peltarch problem, and allow Rando and Chaevre enter Norwick if not cause trouble. I do not like much, but is order from commander, and am honor to obey

    Was begin be good from there. I lose to Nicahh in archery, but is no shame and still have much fun. Chet is shy and try ask me to be his girl, but Devlin rap on head, I think from jealous heart. Nicahh thinks that maybe should give Chet chance, but Johan once give advice for not be with people work for you, and think is good advice. Beside, I do not have any fire in heart for him.

    But then Shannon come. He point to Chaevre and say is wanted by Peltarch, and ask for help. I tell him I cannot, because was order not to, unless make trouble. Then Shannon ask one thing, one thing I not forget.

    He ask me look other way.

    Is great insult. Shannon is friend of mine, and have been through very bad place together, so I put insult behind me. But still is there, and I cannot believe he would ask me do this. Ask me for dishonor duty. Shannon…of Torm, ask me to not do duty.

    I hope Torm forgive him this.

    We have big meeting later with Dwin. I will not write detail of here, in case journal is be take or read, but he say much as Mord does. That for now, they allow here if not make trouble. He ask Shannon if Peltarch want Norwick to help, must make request on paper. Shannon warns that soon maybe army be control of Peltarch, and come take from Norwick.

    That will be war.

    If this comes, I will have to move Yana back to Sisterhood. I do not like, but can see no other way.

    I speak to Nicahh about things, and she believe they are murderers, and should be shown gate, or give to Peltarch. My heart tells me she is right, but duty says I must do as Mord and Dwin say.

    I go to monument in Nars, and pray much to Tempus. I even give own blood in Tempus name on monument to make prayer stronger. But is no sign. Is no answer.

    I feel am torn in half. Devlin talks of duty same as me, and speaks of second chances, because someone give him one. He understands that when make oath to side, is much dishonor to disobey.

    Nicahh speaks to my heart. In my heart, I know this is all wrong. Nicahh does too.

    I have not ever been cut in two pieces like this. Heart and duty to Tempus have always been in same place. Now, one fights other. Oath says to protect, and heart says cut into many small pieces and feed to birds.

    Somewhere is answer for all of this. I just wish someone wise who knows Tempus would tell me.


  • _Maya leaned against a post. The inn bustled around her, the cacophony of voices becoming a simple song of life. Here and there women of the Sisterhood went by and served customers.

    Across the room, Chet and Devlin sat at a table. Chet was eating stew, and Devlin was telling him something with great animation. Two people sat by the fire in the adjoining room holding hands. Near by, Dwin cackled at some inside joke with Mord and Kresha, while Aramuil looked on with a bemused expression.

    No one caused trouble. People were too busy eating, enjoying life, and laughing. Part of Maya was disappointed. She felt almost useless watching this song of life, and not being a part of it. But soon, a merchant from Peltarch came up to her and asked which room was the best, Yana ran through the room pretending she was a bird, and one of the patrons bought her a round of ale.

    Maya looked around and smiled. This was why she fought. This quiet celebration of life captured her heart in the same way coming to Adam’s house had done, countless years before.

    She was home._

    Entry 90 – Grapevine Inn

    I write this from small table in Grapevine Inn, which now open. We have many customer today, but now is very late. All but two go home or rent room, and I think both maybe are too drunk for walk.

    I feel have home again, for first time in many years. It warms heart in way very hard for write and put into words.

    I hope some day, far from now, when Tempus no longer needs his champion he will let me live here, for see people come and go. I think word is “retire”, but that means go to sleep, so am probable mistake. I will ask someone in morning maybe.

    But now am just happy


  • _The wind whispered through the trees and bent waves of grass before it. The sky darkened, threatening rain. To the south, the ravages of a demonic war bloodied the sky in shades of gray and red.

    Still in the green bridesmaid’s dress, Maya knelt on a hill in Jiyyd, her face twisted in distraught. She held her arms outstretched in supplication, staring up into the sky, while tears ran from the corners of her eyes down past her ears. Words in her Uthgardt tongue all but disappeared in the wind.

    “Tempus, why did you do this?! When you remake me, and was born again, why is it I can not have a child? Why do you leave me, barren like this?”

    Maya paused and sniffed before continuing.

    “I hurt good man today, one who follows, and fights in your name. All I ask is sign. Give me reason! Is because I give too much death, so life does not grow inside? Is because I am for one, chosen by you, and not by me?”

    Maya closed her eyes, taking a long deep breath.

    “Even though I am your champion here, in this land, I should not question your ways. I just ask that you tell me. Give me a sign, so I may understand. Give me strength, so my hope does not die.”

    Maya sat there for a long time. The rains came and washed over her. The night came and cloaked her presence. She shivered and endured, but there was no sign. No ravens came with visions, and no ancestors guided her foot steps. She sat alone on the hill until morning, her prayers unanswered._

    Entry 89 – Barren

    I should write of great battle with goblins, minotaurs and demons. I should write of Nicahh’s wedding, and great joy I feel for two of my friends, who joined hearts today in front of many people and Elven gods.

    Is selfish maybe, but I do not.

    I was dress in green. Ael wish for green, and not for blue, so I feel like tall plant. Devlin was in green too, and we joke much about. After Nicahh and Ael make promise to each other, and are bless, was much joy, and I could see in Devlin’s heart have joy too.

    He make funny jokes, and kneel in plants and pretend to be one, and we laugh much. Then in playful way of say, he ask if I would be his, and give him children.

    I do not know what to say to this. Maybe I misunderstand, but even if words he say are wrapped in games, I think I can see them. It saddens me much, for tell him no.

    Devlin is good person. He does not capture my heart, but is good follower of Tempus like Talgris, and knows honor. Yana likes him very much.

    But I cannot be what he wants. I cannot give him child.

    …and it hurts.

    There is a gap here. The following entry is written much later, but not marked under a different date.

    I can say I know Tempus heart. I can say I know what he teach. But to know mind of Tempus? I do not think anyone can know mind of god.

    Are times I look back on long life and see how Tempus make me what am today.

    I was take from family to be slave, but while be slave I learn axe, and grew tall and strong. I escape from wagon to come here, land of war and heroes. He gives me visions to see people for teach, and tells me to become Black Dragon Knight, so I can learn all weapons, and art of battle.

    He gives me Adam, so I might know love.
    He takes Adam, so I might know pain.
    He sends me to bad places, so I know despair.
    But then gives me Natanya, so I know hope.

    He gives me Nicahh, sisters, and Yana, so I know family, but does not let me make one of own.

    Why?

    I hope someday will be reveal to me. I must have faith in mind of Tempus.

    And patience.


  • _Maya stood in front of the mirror, and eyed herself critically.

    “I am too tall”, she muttered to herself in the Uthgardt before turning around. “Legs are too big too”

    She hurriedly put on a long, wool skirt, tying it then spinning it around to put the ties in back. Then she put on a short linen shirt, pulling up and poofing out the sleeves. She ducked a bit, looking into the mirror.

    “This is much better”, she continued in Uthgardt, poking at her midriff. “Stomach is strong, and my belly button does not look stupid. Men will like glimpse of tummy, no?”

    With great deliberation she spent the next 20 minutes undoing all the ties in her hair, and brushed it out. The dark gold mixed with the occasional brown was brushed until it shone with freshly washed luster. Maya stood in front of the mirror, and mustered a “come hither” look, lowering her eyes as she had seen Wizard Sky look at Zyphlin so many years ago.

    She smirked at bit at the ridiculousness of it, and broke out laughing, eyes bright with mirth.

    “Tempus, this is very foolish. I hope you are not looking now, seeing what your champion is doing to herself!”

    She reached over to her dresser and gathered several dark blue ribbons, and tied them into her hair, and reattached all the feathers in a bunch in the back. Tentatively, she eyes herself in the mirror again, noting how the ribbons and feathers matched the skirt.

    “Is…not bad I think. Maybe a necklace or…”

    Just then Yana walked in, stopping at the door way. She looked up at Maya, elven eyes wide, before turning and running down stairs, giggling.

    “Rijha! Rijha! Come see what Maya did to herself! She looks like a girl!”

    Maya leaned her head on the mirror and just sighed._

    Entry 88 – Woman

    Today I try to look like woman, instead of Champion of Tempus. Is lesson here, somewhere I think. Was worth see look on guards face though, when walk around Norwick. Would be good disguise maybe.


  • _“Good night!”, Yana said as she trundled upstairs.

    “Good night”, Maya called softly from down below.

    Little Yana, still a child but not so little, trundled over to her bed upstairs in the Grapevine Inn. Reaching underneath, she pulled out a small wooden hammer, and knelt by the open window. The cool night breeze rustled her dark hair, causing her to shiver.

    She held the little hammer to her breast, and scrunched her eyes tightly.

    “Dear Tempus”, she started.

    “Thank you for Nicahh and all the sisters who took care of me.”

    “Thank you for my teachers Rijha and Suvarr, who teach me to read and write, and know my numbers.”

    “Thank you for Lady Natanya, who helped bring Maya back from very bad places.”

    “Thank you for Ael and Devlin, ‘cause they make Maya laugh”

    “Thank you for bringing Maya to me. I really don’t have a mom, ‘cause she died when I was born. Now I kind’a do. Ssshh! Don’t tell her though, ‘cause she’d probably cry or something.”

    Jana got up, and started to crawl into bed, but quickly went back to the window, holding the hammer and scrunching her eyes again.

    “Tempus, bless all the guards and people that protect Norwick, and make it so I can sleep safe at night.”

    She quickly got up and went to bed. Moments later, what passed for sleep was upon her, and dreams of goblins, frogs, and dark whimsical things filled her night.

    Before the sun finally settled behind the horizon, and Norwick was blanketed in darkness, a large raven graced her window sill. It sat there watching, its gaze never straying far from the Yana’s sleeping form. Before the last wisp of light was stolen by the night, it departed, leaving a solitary black feather by the bed._

    Entry 87 – Quiet

    It is quiet now. Is good time for think.

    I play in Norwick game night, and after shoot with bow have pretend battles with good wizard on other side. Battle gave me much to think about when fight wizard. Tempus makes me strong in many things, but against powerful magic is not one.

    Now I save coin for shrine. I speak to Dwin about, and he say will help, but first must find place. Must be good place, where all can come see. Then after build, will need priest of Tempus for bless. Hope will be Krig.

    Militia of Norwick grows big. Is good thing, because goblin and enemy are many. I promise teach woman name Raxia I give lesson for fight. She is very tall, almost as me, but skinny like elf. I think she need learn duck if going to live.

    Maya pauses for a moment, tapping the quill on her lip.

    Nicahh and others go north on ship. Ael is much worry because is soon for be marry, but I have faith Tempus will protect and bring her back to Ael. Besides, Nicahh say I am to have dress, and I know she not miss opportunity to make me look like woman instead of warrior for Tempus.


  • _Maya lay by the pool’s edge, her unwashed and still braided hair a disheveled mess in the steamy confines of the bath house. Her clothes and armor lay in a heap in the corner tossed haphazardly and strewn in disarray.

    A few women, Peltarch socialites, or upper merchant class visiting from Damara sat in the corner, giggling and whispering conspiratorially, often glancing in Maya’s direction. Maya paid little attention to them, instead laying with her chin supported by her fists, staring into the water.

    The song in her blood hadn’t really ended. The fight with the Ettins and Duergar had been challenging but without grave danger, punctuated by sporadic fights and interludes. It had been dangerous enough to invoke it, but without the need for fervor, which allowed it to end quickly.

    After the battle she stood with her comrades, trying to quell it. The only person worth considering there had been Ael, and that wasn’t going to happen. She found it easier to simply walk away.

    Even the boat ride to Peltarch had done nothing to relieve it. Afterwards, she sat on the Peltarch docks for what seemed like hours, watching the dock workers unload crates from a merchant vessel.

    The bath house was a mere 10 minutes away. He cost 50 glimmers. She didn’t even know his name.

    The song was quiet after that, though her heart was empty._

    Entry 86 – Needs

    I fight evil Ettins and Duergar today with Ael, Nicahh, and two stout dwarf name Farley and Kallinar. Was very good battle, and even have trophy of good make double axe. Maybe some day, I learn to use.

    But after battle, blood sing too much, and had been too long. All could think about after battle was celebrate life and make pleasures. Is way should be, no?

    I leave group, I go many places for make go away, but nothing work this time. Think watch many dock worker with no shirt in sun was probable not good way for make go away either.

    I get to bath house and after speak to person, I make pay. Is person I never see, probable never see again.

    Why is no one here understand?

    _A loud burst of giggling and pointing drew Maya’s attention. Maya looked over at them. They returned her gaze haughtily. Mockingly. Maya wondered briefly how long it would take the guards to arrest her, if she truly let Tempus within her, naked like this, after she put one of their heads through the partition behind them.

    Instead Maya closed the journal, and gathered her things._


  • _The trees twinkled in an ethereal breeze, their silver trunks and leaves reflecting light in shifting patterns from a pink, hazy sky. Tall red-brown grass rippled in waves.

    Maya stood in the grass before a yawning chasm. Her wings rested quietly behind her, dark gold hair and white feathers rustled in the wind. Blue eyes glowed with intensity. Far on the other side of the chasm, myriads of demonic figures gibbered and shrieked, their spears and pole arms dancing.

    Maya unfurled her wings, and with a thump of air quickly traversed the chasm. Half way across, summoned in shimmering patterns, a cloud of ravens formed around her. She and the ravens descended quickly, Maya’s legs crouching on impact, axe and shield at the ready.

    The ravens changed. They became ancestors, sons and daughters of Uthgar, dark armor and weapons glimmering in the pink, hazy light. With a cry of “Tempus!”, the battle was joined.

    Maya fought beside her grandfather, his grandfather, and all the men and women before them. Shield deflected pole arm, and weapons sundered neck and limb.

    This was The Exultation. This was The Rapture. Maya’s heart leapt with belonging and joy until…

    She woke.

    Maya stirred lazily, her legs getting tangled in the sheets. She thought about getting up, but the pounding in her head from last night’s ale convinced her otherwise.

    “Ugh”, she thought to herself, “I should not do this, even when have party. Grain and berry not mix.”

    She closed her eyes again, until the screeching caw from the window a few feet away snapped her eyes open. Despite the fog and pain, she bolted upright.

    The raven on the window cocked its head, eyeing her curiously. The bird’s gaze met Maya’s eyes behind locks of disheveled hair, before it took off and flew over Norwick. A single feather settled lazily on the floor.

    Maya reached down and picked up the feather, then flopped her head back down onto the pillow, closing her eyes.

    “Stupid bird”, she muttered in Uthgardt, before passing into a few hours of dreamless slumber._

    Entry 85 – Wants

    I need man.

    Am begin to be grumpy again, and have crazy dream. Always happen when long time without man.

    After great battle with goblins and bugbears, want for make pleasures was almost too much. Is like this much when blood sing. Adam would understand, and (the rest is crossed out). I think I write about this already, on pages before.

    I think of things I do with Ael that would bring much dishonor to Nicahh. Still I think them, and with other men in village too. I worry sometime if blood sing too much, that will do something stupid. Maybe is best if go to bath house in Peltarch, and find person for make happy for one night. No complicate, no dishonor, but with no heart, not be same.

    I tell Nicahh about dream of fly, and she say she have too. Even Yana have dream of fly. She say have dream about fly around inn and sit on roof, so maybe dream is not so crazy.

    I think only way going to make through shift is jump in cold creek behind inn.


  • _“…Give them a place beside you. Honor their spirits for the deeds of war. Grant them peace should they need it, and grant them battle for those that choose to fight again. In the name of Tempus, the Foehammer, I pray”

    Maya looked up into the sky, the last of the Uthgardt words of prayer carried by the wind across the plains of the Nars. The cold morning air had gathered dew on her hair, clothing, and equipment, and Maya shivered involuntarily.

    She stood up slowly from her prayer vigil in front of the moment to those who fell, and wearily continued down the road to Norwick._

    Entry 84 - Shrine

    I speak to Barrim few day ago, about shrine to Tempus inside of Peltarch. Is in place too out of way for people to see.

    I am too tired for remember all of words between us, but get thought that Peltarch not look kind upon guard of Norwick try build shrine to Tempus on place with shrine to fallen warrior. He say is Peltarch land. Is shame, because I thought was good place. He hint that maybe I should come back to Peltarch, but I do not like place where so many can hide behind words of law.

    Now, I try to think of other place. Maybe on hill in Nars for all to see.

    Eyes get heavy now, after pray for day to Tempus. Is time I put quill down, for have duty in six hour, when bell ring. Have much to sleep on.


  • _Maya stood on one of the many hills just north of Norwick. The wind whipped her hair and cloak fiercely, driven by the coming storm from the southwest. Feathers clung tenaciously on cords of leather, on long braids turned gold by the rays of the Summer sun.

    Yana stood beside her, not so little any more. The toddler had grown to child in the past few years. She clung to the cloak around her and leaned against Maya, for the wind cheerily threatened to knock her off balance.

    “Sometimes, people do not see battle around them”, Maya said, looking down at Yana. “They come here, and all see is peace. World has little peace”, she continued.

    Yana looked up, squinting to look at Maya’s face framed by the afternoon sun.

    “Little plants fight for sun against big trees, and are nibble to earth by rabbits. Wolf chases rabbit. Man chases wolf, for fur for keep warm. Trees and grass spread seed all around, and fight for land with each other, just like people”

    Maya paused for a moment, “People not see is little bit of Tempus all around.”

    Yana looked up, “Don’t people want peace?”

    Maya smiled a bit, “Yes is true. But get peace, must be strong and make ready for war. People who not train for war be conquer by people who do. Always remember this.”

    Both looked up as lightning flashed on the horizon. Many moments later, the rumble of thunder rolled across them.

    “Come”, Maya said, “Is time for go. Nature must be respect”_

    Entry 83 – Mentor

    I try for teach what little know to Yana. Each day I see what I know not enough soon. I can teach for fight, and teach ways of Tempus, but not do numbers, and write is not good. I ask villager help with this.

    I see Yana has gift of number and read. I think she is already better at me in this, even though so young. Limb is also strong, but body is thin. She will make good warrior some day, but must learn be smart warrior and protect self.

    Duty now is teach of life. In this way too maybe I not so good, but I can teach of heart of fire, and how try for do best.

    Is funny time like this I find I miss Adam for different reason. Adam would know how teach from books, and maybe teach speak other tongue. Will be funny elf grow up, not know speak tongue of race.

    _Maya puts the quill down as Yana padded in, ready for bed. Maya notes with amusement she still has the rag doll from so many years ago.

    “Good night Maya”, Yana says, giving her a hug, “I love you. Sleep well”

    Maya hugged her fiercely in return, “I love you too”

    Yana smiled contentedly and padded upstairs in the unfinished inn. Maya watched her go before picking up the quill once again._

    Hopefully love be enough. Will be I think, until Yana is teenager. Then will probable do much pray to Tempus.


  • _An exhausted Maya sat on the grass behind what was to be the Grapevine Inn. Over past the grass on the other side of the creek, Yana and several other Norwick children played tirelessly, alternately jumping the creek and screaming in delight.

    Maya took the ladle from the rainwater barrel, and took a long drink before opening her journal._

    Entry 82 – Politics

    Other day I help Lyte fight evil troll. I have fought once before, and are tough and worthy opponent. She want go there and check because see Drow and demon there not so long ago, and ask me to come.

    We see no demon or drow, but we fight troll who there. Then after leave, I escort scout elf name Hor up to Peltarch. She was good talk to and full of life, so make trip quick and fun. Hor is not full name, but I cannot remember.

    There I run into Ronan, Telli, and Melanie.

    Ronan good look but skinny part elf wizard I see in Norwick much. I can see mischief in eye, and think is part trouble maker, but after I speak with in Norwick, not cause much trouble. I am not sure about part in attack Elenwyd and Rhyndar, but each person I speak with say not fight in ambush. I hear Peltarch arrest, but was clear of do wrong, so let go. Maybe is just price for be trouble maker.

    Telli is woman mountain person who is good fun, and was winner in melee in Norwick. Sometime she make me laugh. Her blessing and heart are strong, and I will be proud for fight beside. I can see is person of good heart.

    Melanie is person with much gift with weapon. Is older, and have seen many time before during time here in Nars. I have even fight beside. I had much respect for. But now she do something that speak much of character, and hurt Norwick.

    From what understand, Dwin work hard for get hobgoblin for fight demon goblin. He not make ally of evil hobgoblin, but just get evil for fight evil. Was very clever I think. But after ambassador speak with Hobgoblin leader, Melanie appear from invisible and murder leader, and say then Dwin message never be heard. This after Dwin make promise hobgoblin leader not be hurt.

    I am confuse much about this, so I ask. I ask her explain why do this.

    She tell me cannot be bother.

    When she do this, she attack Dwin honor by make so Dwin not keep promise. She also show she have no honor, for attack leader like assassin. When I say this, she say assassin is person for pay, and she not pay, so I change word to murder.

    I am not sure what do about this. I not challenge her there because is Dwin right for do first. I have no right for make challenge, even though speak so full of self and no respect I want punch in nose. She insult Dwin honor. Is his decide.

    For a moment, the quill is put down, and Maya watches Yana play. Maya’s happy smile slowly turns down, and her gaze turns cold as she picks up the quill again.

    By go against Dwin, she try hurt people of Norwick, and make danger to child I care for. If she keep do this, I take group and hunt her down. I will treat as evil monster, and enemy of Norwick. Will be no challenge to person of no honor. She will be track by scout, corner, and cut to pieces. Children and people of Norwick will be protect.

    But I will respect, because this is what Tempus teach. All who fight much be respect. And when her head on pole I will pray for, that Tempus teach her spirit honor.

    Maya closes the journal with a sigh, then watches the children again. Slowly the cold gaze turns to twinkle, and the mouth to a smile. Then with a squeal and a shout, Maya gets up and leaps the creek to play with the children once more.


  • Entry 81 – Duels

    I fight minotaur champion again other day. This time, I lose. Was not even much of contest, really.

    I wonder this mean he just have good day, I have bad day, or was much better. Fight was over so fast, I not even have time figure out. Last fight last much longer.

    I fight brave and fight true, so Tempus not dishonor. Tempus know that champion cannot win all battle. Part of be champion is strength of heart, not strength of body.

    But now Kull make noise about how not worthy for fight minotaur because is woman. Say send woman out do man job.

    Is funny, because I hear all time when grow up.

    In tribe of Griffon, woman can fight, but for defend village. Is man who go to war. Woman do not. So I understand many think like this too.

    I wonder who Kull pray to. Maybe if Kull fight Maya and win, but I teach Kull for pray to Tempus, would be victory all same.

    But part of worship Tempus mean respect all opponent. This might be hard for Kull, unless Maya win.


  • _Early morning, Maya sits on the edge of the creek behind the Grapevine Inn, her face contorted in pain. Her armor is off, still piled by the bedside in her room in a heap. The simple shift she’s wearing conceals little, her hair clumped with things best not mentioned.

    A guard yells at someone running down the street, and Maya winces. She turns and mutters something quietly in Uthgardt in the direction of the guard, but he neither hears nor cares.

    With effort Maya leans forward, and dunks her whole head in the creek. The creek, fed by snow run-off from the hills is icy cold, but Maya remains submerged for a good twenty seconds before lifting her head up. She picks at something in her tangles tresses in disgust, and then once more submerges her head, scrubbing. Finally, she pulls her head back with a gasp of hair, and shakes it, water spraying in all directions.

    Finally she lays back, sleep overcoming what hobgoblins could not.

    The noon sun and the not so gentle jostling of a foot on her shoulder wakes her. Maya cracks an eye open to see first guard Chet standing over her, a wry smile evident even under the helm.

    “Lieutenant, just a reminder of the patrol you’re leading in an hour”

    Maya cracks another eye open and looks up. A large part of her wants to see if she can cave in the front of Chet’s helm with a well placed fist, but all she manages is a weak nod.

    “Thank you. I be up in bit”, she mumbles in her thick accent.

    Chet wanders off, and through the fog in her head she can hear him talk to one of the other guards, something about clothing and legs, but the voices disappear and merge into someone haggling with one of the merchants.

    Slowly and with effort, Maya gets up and goes to her room._

    Entry 80 – Black Heart

    I drink too much. I drink too much wine from Sisterhood. Take bottle on road. Drink too much on road. Then go Oscura (evil city is crossed out) and drink too much there too.

    Was pretty dumb.

    I want try forget. Think bottle of wine help, but just make world fuzzy, and me angry at everything.

    Then I act in shame. I tell Natanya am miss Adam on anniversary, am angry, and want try forget, and she say should be celebrate time together, and not drink for time apart.

    She is right. Sister of heart is wise in many things.

    I feel sick at self, for treat memory of Adam this way, and run all way back to Norwick. I try make before throw up, but have to stop twice on way. Just glad throw up in chamber pot and not in bed. Much easier for clean.

    I am worry though. Was very angry when go north with black heart. Black heart make very easy for kill hobgoblin. I kill three big hobgoblin in three stroke of axe without even try hard. When heart is black, is like blood sing. All who face me die, in name of Tempus.

    I think am good person. Tempus knows this, and give me power for fight things are evil, in his name. But Tempus give power to people with black heart too. Is way of life, good and bad. All must battle for survive. Tempus only teach we honor each other when do.

    I not want black heart, so must learn celebrate life more. Tonight I will go to old house and read favorite story Adam used read to me, when I could not read.

    I know will cry when do this. I know tears make hard for read. Maybe tears better than wine for Maya.


  • _Adam sat in the large tub, Maya opposite. Adam was saying something about the story he just read, but somehow Maya couldn’t hear the words clearly. His eyes sparkled with the fire in his heart. The timbre of his voice captivated her attention, but the words were lost amidst the song in Maya’s blood. They had just come back from a journey in a cavern, full of things that gibbered and squealed. The battle had been furious, but they had all come through alive.

    Maya curled her legs underneath her and on either side of Adam’s, and moving across the tub, pressed herself against him, water sloshing onto the floor. Adam looked up at Maya and stopped talking. Maya looked down, hunger in her eyes. He reached up gently to caress….

    Maya woke up. The buzz of voices in Norwick filtered in through her dream, and the sunlight through the open windows assaulted her eyes. Slowly she sat up, reluctantly rubbing the sleep away._

    Entry 79 – Anniversary

    I told self I would be in Damara today, on great field of battle where I marry Adam. I thought would do honor to memory of. I move on to new life without him, but memories are still good.

    Wedding was small, but have many important people in, include king of Damara. Adam knew so many people, so many things, that I think part of Nars go when he go to Tymora.

    I think on this day much as day for Nicahh and Ael be marry come close. I hope life together for them is more long than I have with Adam. Is hard to meet someone know is right for, then lose so soon.

    I try for find other man, who can fill warm place in heart, and not be so lonely. Some stay by me for time. Some not feel same way as I do. Some leave. I think would make good wife for someone again, but would hurt for watch grow old, when I do not.

    Maybe Tempus does not wish me be marry. I wonder this much. I wonder if best not have man in heart, so can make heart for Tempus.

    I just come back from fight evil ogre other day, and blood was sing. Was warrior with way of magic there, name of Jeremy. Was tall, strong, and full of years. But we walk separate ways in Peltarch after battle. I think maybe miss chance for not be lonely again, just for one night.

    I hope Tempus does not want me be lonely.


  • _Maya stood on a hill just north Norwick, the sunlight cascading down from a clear morning sky reflecting on her armor in splashes of silver and gold. Her head was turned upward, her eyes closed, and dark blonde hair mixed with long braids and feathers blew in a gentle breeze across her back. Her long arms stretched outward, embracing the grace of Tempus.

    Maya prayed. Her voice was clear and resonant. She did not whisper. She would not hide the words from passersby or any other. She spoke her broken trade speech, mixed with the odd words of her Uthgardt heritage when translation failed her.

    She prayed for the people of Norwick. She asked them to make their hearts strong, and let Tempus be their guide. She asked for Tempus to make her heart strong too, for the battles to come and the blood to be spilled. She asked Tempus to give her the wisdom she often lacked, to lead these people to his arms, so that they may gain strength and persevere.

    She repeated the prayers over and over, until the muscles in her arms burned, and her voice became hoarse. She continued to pray, until the sun sank into the western horizon.

    Only then did a tired and weary Maya travel east, and collapse onto her bed in the Sisterhood_

    Entry 78 – Divine Grace

    I win archery tournament. I have no explain for, but message from Tempus. Many archer there better than Maya. Many. Big Ael, William, and little quick Gear all there for show skill. I always enter, but never go far. Is just fun for try and laugh with friend.

    Day is somehow different. I hit center of target more times in tournament than all of life before. As if Tempus make each arrow go true, or make eye clear and aim better.

    I not know why he would do this. I am not archer, and message is not clear to me.

    Is sometime hard be priest or champion of Tempus. Many not know this, but Tempus never speak. Is never word from heavens, or message in write. Is always sign, usually from ancestor.

    So what this mean? Tempus reward for prayer? Tempus want me learn bow? Maybe Tempus show Norwick that have faith in Tempus, and even axe woman win archery tournament.

    Only know one thing for sure. Is time for get better bow.


  • _If one peruses the next several pages of the journal, numerous entries on life’s little adventures are related from the simple woman’s perspective. There are tales of personal accomplishment, of victories minor and great, and of bloodshed and adventure. Most of them however are of little consequence - The tedium of Norwick moving north, the building of the inn of the Sisterhood, and watching Yana grow.

    For better or worse, Maya appears particularly proud of practically bludgeoning Ael to propose to Nicahh. Several entries mention the union, and the inevitable patter of little feet that will follow.

    By most accounts, Maya has had a peaceful respite in a life otherwise filled with battle, honor, and the glory of serving Tempus.

    Perhaps the times will change._

    Entry 77 – Scars

    I stand in front of mirror this morning, and wonder of where scar go. I wonder this often. Three week ago I hit hard by goblin axe. Was foolish way for get hit, but make mistake. Just glad was good enough for twist away, and behead goblin before he do again. But now is no remind of mistake. All is gone. I am same in mirror as when Tempus make me from nothing, there in Peltarch commons.

    Is nature of elf for live long time. Short bearded mountain people are same way. Many I see speak of human they watch grow old and die, and their children grow old too. Now I am like this I think. But maybe not.

    I talk to Zyphlin for long time once, and he show me all scar he have. He name most, and gave story for tell for each. I have many thing would have like show him, but no scar for story. Where are my scar for story?

    I think about this much. Adam die, Talgris leave, Natanya and I in bad place, and Zyphlin look at me sad and say no. I can still feel wound from each. Maybe when battle take place in heart, scar is there. Tempus not take that from me


  • _In wispy silence, the Minotaur coalesced within the pillars of the menhir. Its horns were filigreed and runed. Various jewelry adorned its features, and magicked chain mail glittered on its broad torso. The great axe was held easily, as dark intelligent eyes peered malevolently behind ornamental plates.

    “I seek the Champion of Tempus”, it rumbled, hot breath billowing out clouds from nose and mouth.

    Fadia and the group around her startled. Maya turned suddenly, eyes wide with recognition. Yes, this was the one who told her to follow his faith or die.

    There would be no pleasantries before this challenge. His demand had mocked Tempus, and Tempus would demand reprisal.

    The old worn belt Maya wore glowed, sending power and strength to her limbs. Maya’s eyes focused, and pupils dilated with the surge of adrenalin. Then a single tear formed in the corner of her right eye, blood following. A trail of red cascaded down both cheeks, and Maya’s vision became white.

    For Maya, the world ceased to be. There only was the glory of battle. There was only the pride of Tempus. The minotaur filled her sight and for a moment, a brief moment, Maya felt that she could fly the distance.

    The two clashed in a thunderous rush of steel.

    The minotaur had height, reach, and leverage. His great axe crashed down on Maya’s shield first, the impact sending shock through limb and shoulder. As Maya staggered under the blow, it struck again, spinning Maya around. But as it went to strike a third time, Maya recovered her composure, ducked and whirled, forcing the minotaur to abort his attack and deflect a low swing.

    For the precious moments that followed, the minotaur was on the defensive. Maya’s fury was upon her, and the attacks that followed forced the minotaur back through the menhir. Maya’s axe hissed with the minotaur’s blood when a well placed blow parted shoulder plate, leather, and flesh.

    Screaming with pain, the minotaur quickly recovered. Once again the great axe crashed down on Maya’s shield, her arm buckling under the blow. The axe skittered across the shield downward creasing the armor just above her thigh.

    Soon, Maya’s leggings glistened with fresh blood.

    Eyes ablaze with confidence, the minotaur whirled the axe and struck again, but this time Maya was ready. As the blow came, Maya spun clockwise with the impact, forcing the minotaur to over-reach his follow through. With a triumphant cry, Maya struck down on the exposed leg of the minotaur.

    The axe bit deep. Iron, muscle and bone parted to volcano forced steel, and the minotaur shrieked, collapsing on one knee. The minotaur whirled off balance in a desperate attempt to strike at Maya, but Maya simply moved back out of reach. Then Maya stepped forward, grounding the minotaur’s axe with hers, and stepped on it.

    For a brief moment, the only sounds were the heavy breathing of the two combatants. Maya leaned forward, narrowing her eyes, looking into the face of the minotaur.

    “Faith is Tempus”, she said, “Remember”

    …and beheaded it._

    Entry 52 – Challenges

    As begin to write this, I look at last entry and see was very long time ago. I have been so busy with militia and report, and so busy with move to Norwick I not even think about journal. Natanya would probably shake finger at. It make me laugh, think about that.

    I have spent much time in militia look for new tribe of goblins, try to keep peace, and battle huge minotaur.

    New tribe of goblins is much better fight. Are like little ball of muscle. Some can use magic. They seem some out of nowhere and attack Norwick, but whenever I go into woods and try find, I cannot. I try speak to goblins in Rawlins, but none listen to me.

    Lucidious was think about hire couple worshipper of Bane for be militia. Ask if I will teach. I say no. He not hire. That was that. Still, I think Lucidious is good chancellor. He give Norwick character. Is good wizard, not good warrior, but seem be no nonsense type person. Think he put Norwick before self, which is good.

    Evil Minotaur come challenge me after he put spell on, and tell me change faith. Was great warrior, but I still behead after hard fight. I think Tempus want tell him stuff it too.

    I will write another entry later. Have too much work to do.


  • Entry 51

    I decide that will join Norwick militia again. I send note to Dwin, and he reply is happy. I am proud for serve Norwick again, and will help make big and strong like days long ago.

    When I tell Yana this, she lock self in room and not come out all morning.

    Is true. I will not be around as much used to. Sometime will stay in Norwick. Journey from Norwick to Sisterhood is not long, but is long enough that stay in Sisterhood all time not be easy. I will miss children when am not here.

    When Norwick rebuilt, I have idea maybe Yana can stay with me. Here in Sisterhood, life is soft, and is good place for get new start, like Nicahh give to me and children. But world is not soft. Put food on table is hard work sometimes. Yana will be better person if understand this.


  • _It’s late at night, and the Sisterhood is quiet. Most of the children have gone to bed. Nicahh and Ael are somewhere in the kitchen getting a bed time snack. Keira walks ghost-like through the halls, the disturbed glow-bug eerily moving shadows as it flits out of her way.

    Maya sits on the edge of her bed, a large down pillow hugged to her chest. She stares out the open window into the serenity of the night. No travelers grace the road from Jiyyd, and no sounds of revelry escape the walls.

    A gentle breeze sneaks into the room. It swirls past Maya, tickling her neck, and moving the pages in her open journal. Slowly, one by one they flip to …_

    Entry 50 – Ache

    It feel like someone big, kick in stomach.

    After children settle, I had feeling something wrong in Norwick. I run down long road to gate, and see Krig, and say same thing. He say Tempus tell him, go south.

    Was big attack there! Goblin and bugbear attack south gate in great numbers. As goblin and more goblin fall to defender, Krig hammer, and my axe, I can feel blood sing.

    It has been very long since blood sing like this. Not since Talgris visit. Axe arm is get very tired. I get hurt, someone heal. Bugbear come, and I behead. Most of axe strike are true. I get hurt and heal again. Wave after wave come. Wave after wave cut down! I am surround by elite goblin, but I strike hard and true. Tempus is with me. I can feel his pride. I can feel him be please. Blood quickens, and my heart is alive.

    Is many people there. Krig, Nicahh, Rhyndar, Shae, Lilin…so many! All fight here under eyes of Tempus!

    …and Zyphlin too.

    I know what I write now will not be see by other, but I wish could make understand. After battle, after face death, is be so alive that world is bright. Red is more red. Green is more green. Life is bigger. Should be celebrate with friend and lover. Life should be celebrate. Is short for many.

    Adam would understand this. Sometime, not even make back to house. Tall grass and shade of tree is good too.

    I grab Zyphlin by collar, and drag to Boarshead. He laugh much, and has grin, so I think to self that is time. Have always thought was very cute, for more years can count. What best way to celebrate life but with friend who is cute!

    We get to Boarshead, but upstairs is close. I not care. I go to break down door. I am hungry for him, to be with old friend in this way.

    He say no.

    I write this, and still not know why. He begin to say things, why cannot be. I listen, but I do not understand. What he says does not make sense to me. Why, cannot celebrate life like this with me?

    Perhaps I do not please him in this way. I was hope did, that he would see heart for be good person, and find me cute too.

    But he does not.

    I do not wish be his wife. I do not love him this way. I know this for truth. But if I do not love him, why do I hurt so much?


  • _“Gimme back my doll!”, Yana shrieked, chasing a boy down the hall, little hammer raised. Maya’s hands are full of blankets, and they are past her before she can grab either of them. Maya turned and began to shout something, but they are through a door and around a corner before she even has time to speak.

    Maya sighed and laughed and was about to walk down the hall when one of the boys called out from the communal room.

    “Maya, I think Julius is sick”, he called out, wrinkling his nose.

    “How sick?”

    “He threw up on Mal’s bed and I ain’t cleanin’ it up”, he said, walking down the hall to the kitchen. “Hey we got anything to eat?”

    Maya sat the blankets on the chair inside the room, where Julius was sitting with Mal on the floor. Mal at least had the foresight to put an empty chamber pot by Julius’ knees.

    Maya frowned a bit, “How long he been sick?”

    “Just this morning after he ate the pickled eggs”

    Maya looked at the mess on the bed, and the look on Julius’ face, “How many he eat?”

    “Dunno. There was a lot”

    “He ate all!?”

    Julius looked up pitifully and nodded, his face a near shade of gray. Maya just put her hands on her hips, “Is lesson there, somewhere. After finish empty stomach, clean off Mal bed and bring blankets to me. Is fresh blanket there”, she said, pointing to them.

    As Maya turned and left, Julius heaved once again. However, he did manage to mumble a “Pay up” before heaving a third time.

    Maya just rolled her eyes._

    Entry 49 – Home Again

    War is over, and children are home again. Nicahh and I bring from Gypsy camp. Was like herd cat. They go all over place before get to Sisterhood.

    Is nice for have noise here now. Was too quiet. Now feel like home again with children run all over place and get into trouble. When get too noisy once, I see Ael just get up and leave and go out to forest. I think maybe he was like quiet with Nicahh.

    I think much about Dwin offer though, and think maybe is good one. I work in Norwick as guard and live there, and come here to Sisterhood on days off. I do not know if take Yana with is best, or leave here is best, because I not around as much if do this. Is very hard decide.

    Is not so far though, and can run for long time. Sisterhood is try open up trade post maybe in Norwick, and would be shopkeeper there. Yana could stay maybe, and help run. Do little errands and take coin.

    So much think about.


  • _Maya sits leaning against the south fence of the Sisterhood, her bare feet playing with the long grass. The midday sun has begun to rise quite high, and Maya turns her face upward to greet it

    Travelers come and go down the Long Road, and at the sound of wagon wheels Maya opens her eyes and waves, though she hasn’t clue who the driver is. A large bumblebee frets over a nearby flower, and Maya pokes it, feeling the fuzz on her fingertip before it wobbles through the air.

    All in all, a good day for a quiet journal entry._

    Entry 48 – Zyphlin

    I was come from Peltarch and run into Ginger near crossroads. She is happy, and somehow cannot see my heart, or know what feel about what happen. I not know what to say. Am angry, but can do nothing. So I say little, and was happy when Zyphlin come by.

    He apologize for be so busy, and ask if I would like talk. He suggest lake, but am tired of be in armor, so I say would like change and ask if he like come inside or wait.

    He come inside.

    I show him room where stay. Is little room with not much in, but not need much for live. Except for what carry, best thing own is thick fur blankets, many of which I get when live by self west of Nars when crystal come. I think will buy nice wood chest, for keep in, when weather get warm

    We sit at foot of bed, and talk about many things.

    Zyphlin is funny friend. Is very old friend, and was student to Adam. We have Adam in common, and like see good win, and evil lose. Can talk league a minute without slow down. In some people would make not interest, but I find self try understand all word he say. He is good person inside. I can see heart clear in this.

    But I find talk with him clumsy, because I see as more than just good friend. I tell Natanya of this long ago, and have good giggle over. Have felt this way for more season can remember. Is not love I think. But sometime person speak right, act right, even smell right, so all can think about is make pleasures with. I think he knows this, in his heart too, that I feel this way.

    But we do nothing.

    I cannot figure out why this is. Is just way is between us. He talk of all scar he get, and show each one. I get very distract. He show scar on neck, scar on arms, scar on side, and all can think about is rip rest of clothing off and go explore for self. Bed was right there. Would have been fun I think.

    Maybe is because we have Adam in common, and he feel would dishonor. But every time Zyphlin and I together, can hear Adam laugh at us both.