3. Maya's Second Journal

Maya's Second Journal


  • _Little Yana, not so little now, trudged up the hill laboriously, one slow step at a time. On her back across both shoulders was a long pole. On each end of the pole was a fair sized bucket of rocks.

    As she neared the top, each step became a struggle. Her slender legs, now not quite so slender, strained with corded muscle. Sweat plastered the hair to her face. Eyes and mouth scrunched in determination.

    Her legs quivered the last few steps. She struggled briefly with balance, then pushed forward one more step.

    Maya stood at the top and knelt, ready to grab her in case she lost her balance. “You can do this Yana, just two more step. Just two!”

    Yana’s lips began to quiver, but she grunted and took another step. Her right foot slipped a few inches, but she kept her balance and struggled with the final step. The next step took her to the top, and as Maya took the pole from her back, Yana sat down hard on her hands and knees.

    “You do this! You make to top!”, Maya smiled encouragingly.

    Yana looked up breathing raggedly, “I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow”, she said, not without some resentment.

    “Is OK”, Maya smiled. You have no chores for next two days.

    Yana blinked with surprise, “I don’t?”

    “No, I do for you. Your job is rest, and eat. Cannot make strong without rest and eat. Too many time I see person be train to death. Make strong need rest. Make strong need good food”

    Maya went back on top of the hill and pulled a picnic basket from behind a rock. She brought it over with a smile and sat it down in front of Yana, who at once smelled Mama’s delicious cooking.

    “Here, you take this”, Maya said as she pulled out a mug and filled it with apple juice. “Juice is good for give wind and strength back. Then you eat as much as want. Is plenty egg, fish and bird here. This will make go up hill with rocks next time more easy”

    Yana didn’t respond, simply nodding as her mouth was already stuffed with poultry. Maya chuckled a bit, and stared out across the plains as the breeze ruffled the feathers in her hair._

    Entry 98 – Training

    Training for Yana begin for First Journey this month. I have always try teach her, but this different. I work her very hard for make her strong and good balance, and chores she have I do most of instead. Is her job now is become warrior she need to be for survive.

    I ask her of this, if this is what she want. She seem very determine to do this, to become warrior like me, but I hope she not be disappoint. She is strong and quick for age, and I can make her more strong and more quick, but will be different than me. She must understand she must seek warrior inside of Yana, and not warrior inside of Maya.


  • _Maya stood in front of the mirror, fixing the last of the feathers in her hair. Her armor was polished, and cloak had been recently cleaned. Yana sat on the edge of the bed, watching Maya curiously.

    “Where are you going?”, Yana asked, kicking her feet absently.

    “I am going see Dwin”, Maya replied, looking at herself hard in the mirror.

    “You’re getting all dressed up to see Dwin?”

    Maya closed her eyes for a moment, before turning away from the mirror to look down at Yana. “I get clean and in good uniform to honor him. He is leader of Norwick, and deserve this much”

    “But you’ve talked to Dwin a hundred times, and I never see you get all dressed up like this”. Suddenly Yana’s eyes went wide, and she made a face, “Are you sweet on him?”

    Maya laughed reflexively, making Yana giggle too, “No no Yana, is nothing like that. Is….”, Maya sighed, “Last time I dress as Militia”.

    Yana’s eyes went wider, “You’re leaving the militia? Why!?”

    Maya went over and sat down beside Yana on the bed. She stared at the floor for a moment, before turning to look at Yana.

    “Is for many reason. First is, I do not need red cloak for defend Norwick. I defend Norwick many times without be militia. Second is I cannot be everywhere. I cannot work inn, patrol, and read report and be good mother to you. You are most important to me. Yes, people in Norwick are important too, but you are child I care for.”

    Maya paused before continuing.

    “Your time for First Journey will be come sooner than think. We speak some of how your body change, no?”

    Yana just nodded, looking up.

    “In few year, you will grow more than any other time in life. You will get tall and strong. You will have to make many choice. I want be there help you make choice. I will not choose for you, but I want be there for show you path so can choose wise. When this time comes, we will take long journey together. I will show you what I can, so that you can see world for self, and make good choice in life.”

    Yana looked up and asked timidly, “Were you on First Journey when your father and grandfather were killed?”

    “Yes”, Maya nodded, doing her best keep a reassuring tone, “But this will not happen to you, if I have say about”

    There was a long pause, as Yana and Maya just looked at each other. Yana looked away and around the room, before settling her eyes on Maya’s gauntlets, the symbol of Tempus indelible and bright upon them.

    “Devlin’s going to be sad”, Yana said quietly. “He loves you”

    “I know”, is what all Maya could reply._

    Entry 97 – Service

    Today I do something much hard, and speak to Dwin of leave militia. I get all dress up to honor his be leader of Norwick. Is least I can do.

    I was expect he be much angry. But he was not. He was not happy, but seem understand reasons. All he ask was that I be there for help defend Norwick, and of course I say yes. Will come time soon though that I will go on First Journey with Yana, and then inn will have to be run by rest of Sisterhood, and Norwick will be without me for while. But this is still few years away.

    I already speak to Devlin about leave militia. He was not happy, but not protest either. But see him sad like he was with me, broke my heart. I think maybe if still around I will ask him come on First Journey with Yana and me. Yana likes him much, and would be good influence.

    In mean time I will continue teach Yana matters of heart, and how to fight for what she believe. Now she also have lesson from Aramuil, so is very busy little girl, learn both fight and magic.

    Now I will have time for teach her proper.

    I cannot help be proud of her. She is not of my blood, but she is of my heart. This is better I think.

    Many year ago I was very angry for Tempus take life from me, so I cannot have child. But now I see what his plan was, so long ago, and I wonder why I ever doubt him.


  • _Yana bounced on Maya’s shoulders rhythmically with each long stride. Maya looked up at the cherubic face, and little Yana, perhaps not so little, peered down with a grin.

    “Go faster Maya!”

    Maya chuckled, “You begin be too heavy for go faster on long walk like this. Was day when I could carry forever. Those day are years behind us. Soon will be tall like me!”

    Yana laughed, “I will never be as tall as you! Elves don’t get that tall!”

    Maya just grinned and quickened to a mile eating trot. The Sisterhood was just down the road, and there would come a time when Yana wouldn’t want to ride on her shoulders at all. Better to be exhausted at the end of the journey, than look back on lost opportunity._

    Entry 96 – Despair

    Demons are begin attack town. Other night, Celestria and Chet fall in battle, and before that, man of great evil cut down many, including all in Grapevine Inn. Little Yana too.

    They say man was in blood red armor, and after be frustrate for not find Aramuil, he go on rampage through Norwick and kill everyone. Was said entire guard not able stand up to him. Is said great mage Ronan chase him north, but that he escape. Mord have give order that no one allow face him alone.

    I cannot begin write how I feel about what happen. When I find out Yana was cut down, for moment it feel like legs cut out beneath me and could not stand. Then when go to Tristina, she is weak but return from death, and I care for much time. Then I thank Tempus for return child to me, and ask him grant me power to face him in combat.

    I am going to rip head off with bare hands, if Tempus gives me strength to do.

    I speak with Celestria, and she has turn fall in battle to anger and frustrate. As long as not do something stupid, I think this is good thing. Devlin worry me much though.

    I speak with Devlin on hill overlook Norwick, and he seem very distract. I mistake for his heart be empty and maybe full of despair, but he say no, is different.

    I do not follow his words so well, but from what can put together, he say that he worry war make lose something more than death. He says is feeling he has, but cannot explain, that this war will make such loss.

    I hope he is wrong


  • _It was early morning, and the sun barely peeked above the eastern tree line of Norwick. The grass was still covered in morning dew, and footing was poor.

    Maya stood beside Kastin and held her shield high, thrusting her training staff as if it were a spear. She watched carefully as Kastin did his best to mimic her moves.

    A few early risers stood watching. There were some of the guards who just ended shift, and a few farmers who had already done a few hours work and were looking for an excuse to take a break.

    Kastin stood a little over six feet, was well muscled and quick. His personality was hard to pin down. He was stoic and emotionally detached while on duty, but quick to smile and relaxed when not. She would see him in the inn chatting animatedly with Chet over an evening meal, and drinking ale. Sometimes, she watched him exit the inn. He had a habit of wearing little on his legs, and Maya liked a man with strong legs. But like a good officer, Maya kept her distance.

    Sometimes, it made her lonely.

    “No”, Maya instructed, “If lead with weak foot, will be good for hit hard, but not so good for balance. We first teach balance, then rest will follow. You use right hand most, no?”

    Kastin nodded wordlessly.

    “Then we lead this foot, but not crouch enough make leg tired. Seem maybe clumsy at first, but good for balance. In fight, balance is second.

    Kastin looked at Maya curiously, “What’s first?”

    “Heart”, Maya replied._

    Entry 95 – Red Cloaks

    I get report from Kresha on man name Kastin, who was ask to be militia. I meet him in inn and talk with for bit. Is very much man of duty, follows Tempus, and can see maybe have heart of fire.

    I say yes. I tell him am not good with tactic, but am very good at personal combat, and offer to teach, but he not take my words at worth, and he make challenge.

    I respect that. He want to find out for self, and not listen to rumor or words of gossip about Maya. So we go to hill and spar. I see right away he keep shield too low, so I reward with two hard whack on shoulder and knock him to ground.

    Am his teacher after that. I ask if he know what do wrong, and he say, “Challenge Instructor”.

    It make me laugh much.

    Other than Yana go to bed without make fuss, was only good thing happen that day.

    Are times I feel very much far away from other guards. I do not know why this is. Other day they form group to go after hobgoblin, and I think I could have been much help. But I just come from long duty, and that after spend many hour help move furniture and look for hole in wall in Grapevine. Have big rat somewhere in inn, and is very clever and take things. Was so tired would not be much good in fight, so go to bed.

    I wonder maybe if inn take too much of time, or be guard take too much time from inn. Maybe do both and take care of Yana begin to be too much.

    I will have to think much, on where heart is.


  • _Raxia swung the practice staff, wielding it in similar fashion to the double bladed weapon she was used to using. Maya took a step back, forcing her to follow, and when Raxia took another step she over extended, allowing Maya to step to the side and pull her off balance. Raxia stumbled briefly to one knee before quickly turning and re-engaging.

    Maya watched her student with curiosity. She was very tall, perhaps even as tall as herself. But she was very thin, her length all arms and legs. The double bladed staff suited her, but Maya would have been happier if she stayed with the standard weapon and shield until her balance and defense improved.

    Raxia over extended herself again. This time, Maya rewarded her student by pulling her completely off balance, sent her to the ground painfully. Raxia said nothing though, rising stoically while awaiting correction.

    Perhaps that’s why Maya trained her. Raxia accepted responsibility for her own actions and her own failures without ever complaining. But as Maya stood beside Raxia, correcting her footing and demonstrating attack posture, part of her mind wandered to the coming events, wondering if she would survive them._

    Entry 94 – Ka’arak

    I finally know name of champion of Minotaur. His name is Ka’arak. It is a good strong name, one that speaks of honor.

    I meet with him other day, in place of truce. He tells me of coming of demons. I ask why if they are allies he would do this, but he says demons do not fight with honor, and warns me so I am prepare. He wants me to survive them, so I can face him on field of battle, as warriors should meet. He does not care of Norwick or its people. He says I have heart of Minotaur. He only care I survive to fight him.

    I think on this much in past few days, and have two vision of before this. Tempus tells me battle with Ka’arak will be turning point in be his champion. Vision is very clear. One vision I lose. Other vision I win, and vision continues on with shrine and light. In both vision, Tempus takes me to him in way I cannot understand.

    I wish Tempus is god that would speak. Words from him would be nice right now.

    I like to think I will win. I have much to fight for now. I have many who look to me for fight, and one who looks to me as mother. I cannot lose for her. I cannot lose for Yana.

    Maybe is why we are bring to each other, so each can survive what will come.


  • _“…but he’s an asshole!”, Yana protested.

    Maya stifled a laugh, but couldn’t help grinning. “Is true maybe. No, not maybe. Rando is as you say. Where did you get word?”

    Yana looked away, “Nilli said it. Said that Rando was an asshole”

    “Nilli, old woman by large tent with many skins?”, Maya asked.

    “Yeah. She said she was around when he was captain, and said lots of things about him that I’m not sure what they mean, but I remember that word”.

    Maya, knelt down in front of Yana, “Maybe is word little girl should not use so much, no? Is true, though. Rando is not nice person. I was around when he was captain too. I hear many story of him, and know many thing too, but cannot just keep people out of Norwick because are asshole. Half of Norwick be gone”

    Yana grinned girlishly when Maya said the word, but then her face turned serious, “But Rando killed people up north, didn’t he? Didn’t the scary white woman kill people too? That’s what Nilli says. Why does Dwin let murderers in town?”

    Maya paused at length. Yana was growing up, and the questions were becoming more complicated and difficult to answer. It was times like this that Maya realized that she needed someone wiser in her life, and part of her heart ached for Adam again.

    Maya sighed, “I think is because Dwin want run Norwick without help from Peltarch, and not take word from Peltarch they kill these people. Dwin does not like be told by people who run Peltarch what to do. Chaevre has help Norwick much. People say she is evil but I cannot see into her heart. Rando…”, Maya paused at length, “Maybe he is evil. Is certainly not nice person.”

    Yana looked at Maya earnestly, waiting for some wisdom that would explain it all.

    “Yana”, Maya continued, “I do not have answer for why Dwin do. I say this. If war come, I will put you in safe place and fight for defend people of Norwick. But I am not happy about. If Rando and Chaevre are evil and murder people, then we should not fight war over them.

    Yana paused for a moment, “Can I have a cookie?”

    Maya’s shoulders slumped, wondering if anything she said managed to capture her attention. Maya simply nodded, and pointed over to the pantry._

    Entry 93 – Why?

    I think before go to war, I would ask Dwin why. He knows I will keep oath, and will fight for protect people of Norwick, but want know why he not just lock gate for big trouble makers and say not allow here.

    I will watch close. If they make big trouble in Norwick, I will behead. I will let blood sing hard, and make them think they fight Tempus himself. Then I put head on pike outside gate of Norwick, and send note to Peltarch come pick up what left.


  • Entry 92 – Rest

    It is quiet now.

    Yana is asleep after have fit and cry. She take small cake from pantry in Inn, and not tell truth about. I scold much about never lie, and send her to room to sit on bed. She fold arms and say not go. I do best try not to laugh, because look cute when like this, but carry to bed and tell her now lose dessert for five days because not do as told. I tell her would respect if say she took, and tell why first, but she just cry.

    Yana can be pain, but love just same.

    Today Nicahh try give me new clothes. I do not like much, but is gift and not want insult. Is almost show everything up front, and I feel I will fall out if bend over or turn quick. Nicahh say not, but have hard time for believe.

    Was funny sword show up again in Norwick. Sword have rules on blade, that person can challenge for own, but person who has can decide on fair challenge. Person who has now is name Andrew Tormier

    I challenge him, hope maybe he choose to fight, but no! He choose must both act like chicken, and have people around fire decide who best! I laugh so hard I almost pee, but have to agree, Andrew make best chicken. I have not laugh so hard in very long time, and feels good.

    This is man I not notice before. Was just one of many come and go through Norwick. But I see he is of good spirit, have twinkle in eye, and can laugh at self. Face is handsome, and carries self good. I sit by fire and watch him for time, before have to go on duty.

    Now is time for bed. Is begin to be cold again, and must put up heavy curtain in windows.


  • Entry 91 – Torn

    I guess happiness be short.

    It start when I travel north to go see who at camp. Am off duty, and spend time play with Yana, so think maybe look up friend who there sometimes. I get to north gate of Norwick, and I see Rando, Chaevre, gnome I not know, two Banite, one be Zanetar.

    Rando I do not like. I respect as warrior but is cruel person. Chaevre was knight work for Anakore, and has help defend Norwick much. Is whisper of try steal body from Peltarch for undead magic, but I hear was just try get body of friend for bring back. Was take over by evil witch name dark enchantress, but not her fault. Besides, I see dark enchantress when fight demon, so know is not in Chaevre any more.

    Zanetar is ban from Norwick though.

    I stand inside of gate while they talk, just so make sure Zanetar not enter town, and am concern all are together, and speak like have business. That is when Devlin comes, and say he must speak to me.

    It seem that Rando on trial for do something in Peltarch, and Chaevre was in prison. Both escape. People are dead. Now Peltarch want. But Mord make decision that is Peltarch problem, and allow Rando and Chaevre enter Norwick if not cause trouble. I do not like much, but is order from commander, and am honor to obey

    Was begin be good from there. I lose to Nicahh in archery, but is no shame and still have much fun. Chet is shy and try ask me to be his girl, but Devlin rap on head, I think from jealous heart. Nicahh thinks that maybe should give Chet chance, but Johan once give advice for not be with people work for you, and think is good advice. Beside, I do not have any fire in heart for him.

    But then Shannon come. He point to Chaevre and say is wanted by Peltarch, and ask for help. I tell him I cannot, because was order not to, unless make trouble. Then Shannon ask one thing, one thing I not forget.

    He ask me look other way.

    Is great insult. Shannon is friend of mine, and have been through very bad place together, so I put insult behind me. But still is there, and I cannot believe he would ask me do this. Ask me for dishonor duty. Shannon…of Torm, ask me to not do duty.

    I hope Torm forgive him this.

    We have big meeting later with Dwin. I will not write detail of here, in case journal is be take or read, but he say much as Mord does. That for now, they allow here if not make trouble. He ask Shannon if Peltarch want Norwick to help, must make request on paper. Shannon warns that soon maybe army be control of Peltarch, and come take from Norwick.

    That will be war.

    If this comes, I will have to move Yana back to Sisterhood. I do not like, but can see no other way.

    I speak to Nicahh about things, and she believe they are murderers, and should be shown gate, or give to Peltarch. My heart tells me she is right, but duty says I must do as Mord and Dwin say.

    I go to monument in Nars, and pray much to Tempus. I even give own blood in Tempus name on monument to make prayer stronger. But is no sign. Is no answer.

    I feel am torn in half. Devlin talks of duty same as me, and speaks of second chances, because someone give him one. He understands that when make oath to side, is much dishonor to disobey.

    Nicahh speaks to my heart. In my heart, I know this is all wrong. Nicahh does too.

    I have not ever been cut in two pieces like this. Heart and duty to Tempus have always been in same place. Now, one fights other. Oath says to protect, and heart says cut into many small pieces and feed to birds.

    Somewhere is answer for all of this. I just wish someone wise who knows Tempus would tell me.


  • _Maya leaned against a post. The inn bustled around her, the cacophony of voices becoming a simple song of life. Here and there women of the Sisterhood went by and served customers.

    Across the room, Chet and Devlin sat at a table. Chet was eating stew, and Devlin was telling him something with great animation. Two people sat by the fire in the adjoining room holding hands. Near by, Dwin cackled at some inside joke with Mord and Kresha, while Aramuil looked on with a bemused expression.

    No one caused trouble. People were too busy eating, enjoying life, and laughing. Part of Maya was disappointed. She felt almost useless watching this song of life, and not being a part of it. But soon, a merchant from Peltarch came up to her and asked which room was the best, Yana ran through the room pretending she was a bird, and one of the patrons bought her a round of ale.

    Maya looked around and smiled. This was why she fought. This quiet celebration of life captured her heart in the same way coming to Adam’s house had done, countless years before.

    She was home._

    Entry 90 – Grapevine Inn

    I write this from small table in Grapevine Inn, which now open. We have many customer today, but now is very late. All but two go home or rent room, and I think both maybe are too drunk for walk.

    I feel have home again, for first time in many years. It warms heart in way very hard for write and put into words.

    I hope some day, far from now, when Tempus no longer needs his champion he will let me live here, for see people come and go. I think word is “retire”, but that means go to sleep, so am probable mistake. I will ask someone in morning maybe.

    But now am just happy


  • _The wind whispered through the trees and bent waves of grass before it. The sky darkened, threatening rain. To the south, the ravages of a demonic war bloodied the sky in shades of gray and red.

    Still in the green bridesmaid’s dress, Maya knelt on a hill in Jiyyd, her face twisted in distraught. She held her arms outstretched in supplication, staring up into the sky, while tears ran from the corners of her eyes down past her ears. Words in her Uthgardt tongue all but disappeared in the wind.

    “Tempus, why did you do this?! When you remake me, and was born again, why is it I can not have a child? Why do you leave me, barren like this?”

    Maya paused and sniffed before continuing.

    “I hurt good man today, one who follows, and fights in your name. All I ask is sign. Give me reason! Is because I give too much death, so life does not grow inside? Is because I am for one, chosen by you, and not by me?”

    Maya closed her eyes, taking a long deep breath.

    “Even though I am your champion here, in this land, I should not question your ways. I just ask that you tell me. Give me a sign, so I may understand. Give me strength, so my hope does not die.”

    Maya sat there for a long time. The rains came and washed over her. The night came and cloaked her presence. She shivered and endured, but there was no sign. No ravens came with visions, and no ancestors guided her foot steps. She sat alone on the hill until morning, her prayers unanswered._

    Entry 89 – Barren

    I should write of great battle with goblins, minotaurs and demons. I should write of Nicahh’s wedding, and great joy I feel for two of my friends, who joined hearts today in front of many people and Elven gods.

    Is selfish maybe, but I do not.

    I was dress in green. Ael wish for green, and not for blue, so I feel like tall plant. Devlin was in green too, and we joke much about. After Nicahh and Ael make promise to each other, and are bless, was much joy, and I could see in Devlin’s heart have joy too.

    He make funny jokes, and kneel in plants and pretend to be one, and we laugh much. Then in playful way of say, he ask if I would be his, and give him children.

    I do not know what to say to this. Maybe I misunderstand, but even if words he say are wrapped in games, I think I can see them. It saddens me much, for tell him no.

    Devlin is good person. He does not capture my heart, but is good follower of Tempus like Talgris, and knows honor. Yana likes him very much.

    But I cannot be what he wants. I cannot give him child.

    …and it hurts.

    There is a gap here. The following entry is written much later, but not marked under a different date.

    I can say I know Tempus heart. I can say I know what he teach. But to know mind of Tempus? I do not think anyone can know mind of god.

    Are times I look back on long life and see how Tempus make me what am today.

    I was take from family to be slave, but while be slave I learn axe, and grew tall and strong. I escape from wagon to come here, land of war and heroes. He gives me visions to see people for teach, and tells me to become Black Dragon Knight, so I can learn all weapons, and art of battle.

    He gives me Adam, so I might know love.
    He takes Adam, so I might know pain.
    He sends me to bad places, so I know despair.
    But then gives me Natanya, so I know hope.

    He gives me Nicahh, sisters, and Yana, so I know family, but does not let me make one of own.

    Why?

    I hope someday will be reveal to me. I must have faith in mind of Tempus.

    And patience.


  • _Maya stood in front of the mirror, and eyed herself critically.

    “I am too tall”, she muttered to herself in the Uthgardt before turning around. “Legs are too big too”

    She hurriedly put on a long, wool skirt, tying it then spinning it around to put the ties in back. Then she put on a short linen shirt, pulling up and poofing out the sleeves. She ducked a bit, looking into the mirror.

    “This is much better”, she continued in Uthgardt, poking at her midriff. “Stomach is strong, and my belly button does not look stupid. Men will like glimpse of tummy, no?”

    With great deliberation she spent the next 20 minutes undoing all the ties in her hair, and brushed it out. The dark gold mixed with the occasional brown was brushed until it shone with freshly washed luster. Maya stood in front of the mirror, and mustered a “come hither” look, lowering her eyes as she had seen Wizard Sky look at Zyphlin so many years ago.

    She smirked at bit at the ridiculousness of it, and broke out laughing, eyes bright with mirth.

    “Tempus, this is very foolish. I hope you are not looking now, seeing what your champion is doing to herself!”

    She reached over to her dresser and gathered several dark blue ribbons, and tied them into her hair, and reattached all the feathers in a bunch in the back. Tentatively, she eyes herself in the mirror again, noting how the ribbons and feathers matched the skirt.

    “Is…not bad I think. Maybe a necklace or…”

    Just then Yana walked in, stopping at the door way. She looked up at Maya, elven eyes wide, before turning and running down stairs, giggling.

    “Rijha! Rijha! Come see what Maya did to herself! She looks like a girl!”

    Maya leaned her head on the mirror and just sighed._

    Entry 88 – Woman

    Today I try to look like woman, instead of Champion of Tempus. Is lesson here, somewhere I think. Was worth see look on guards face though, when walk around Norwick. Would be good disguise maybe.


  • _“Good night!”, Yana said as she trundled upstairs.

    “Good night”, Maya called softly from down below.

    Little Yana, still a child but not so little, trundled over to her bed upstairs in the Grapevine Inn. Reaching underneath, she pulled out a small wooden hammer, and knelt by the open window. The cool night breeze rustled her dark hair, causing her to shiver.

    She held the little hammer to her breast, and scrunched her eyes tightly.

    “Dear Tempus”, she started.

    “Thank you for Nicahh and all the sisters who took care of me.”

    “Thank you for my teachers Rijha and Suvarr, who teach me to read and write, and know my numbers.”

    “Thank you for Lady Natanya, who helped bring Maya back from very bad places.”

    “Thank you for Ael and Devlin, ‘cause they make Maya laugh”

    “Thank you for bringing Maya to me. I really don’t have a mom, ‘cause she died when I was born. Now I kind’a do. Ssshh! Don’t tell her though, ‘cause she’d probably cry or something.”

    Jana got up, and started to crawl into bed, but quickly went back to the window, holding the hammer and scrunching her eyes again.

    “Tempus, bless all the guards and people that protect Norwick, and make it so I can sleep safe at night.”

    She quickly got up and went to bed. Moments later, what passed for sleep was upon her, and dreams of goblins, frogs, and dark whimsical things filled her night.

    Before the sun finally settled behind the horizon, and Norwick was blanketed in darkness, a large raven graced her window sill. It sat there watching, its gaze never straying far from the Yana’s sleeping form. Before the last wisp of light was stolen by the night, it departed, leaving a solitary black feather by the bed._

    Entry 87 – Quiet

    It is quiet now. Is good time for think.

    I play in Norwick game night, and after shoot with bow have pretend battles with good wizard on other side. Battle gave me much to think about when fight wizard. Tempus makes me strong in many things, but against powerful magic is not one.

    Now I save coin for shrine. I speak to Dwin about, and he say will help, but first must find place. Must be good place, where all can come see. Then after build, will need priest of Tempus for bless. Hope will be Krig.

    Militia of Norwick grows big. Is good thing, because goblin and enemy are many. I promise teach woman name Raxia I give lesson for fight. She is very tall, almost as me, but skinny like elf. I think she need learn duck if going to live.

    Maya pauses for a moment, tapping the quill on her lip.

    Nicahh and others go north on ship. Ael is much worry because is soon for be marry, but I have faith Tempus will protect and bring her back to Ael. Besides, Nicahh say I am to have dress, and I know she not miss opportunity to make me look like woman instead of warrior for Tempus.


  • _Maya lay by the pool’s edge, her unwashed and still braided hair a disheveled mess in the steamy confines of the bath house. Her clothes and armor lay in a heap in the corner tossed haphazardly and strewn in disarray.

    A few women, Peltarch socialites, or upper merchant class visiting from Damara sat in the corner, giggling and whispering conspiratorially, often glancing in Maya’s direction. Maya paid little attention to them, instead laying with her chin supported by her fists, staring into the water.

    The song in her blood hadn’t really ended. The fight with the Ettins and Duergar had been challenging but without grave danger, punctuated by sporadic fights and interludes. It had been dangerous enough to invoke it, but without the need for fervor, which allowed it to end quickly.

    After the battle she stood with her comrades, trying to quell it. The only person worth considering there had been Ael, and that wasn’t going to happen. She found it easier to simply walk away.

    Even the boat ride to Peltarch had done nothing to relieve it. Afterwards, she sat on the Peltarch docks for what seemed like hours, watching the dock workers unload crates from a merchant vessel.

    The bath house was a mere 10 minutes away. He cost 50 glimmers. She didn’t even know his name.

    The song was quiet after that, though her heart was empty._

    Entry 86 – Needs

    I fight evil Ettins and Duergar today with Ael, Nicahh, and two stout dwarf name Farley and Kallinar. Was very good battle, and even have trophy of good make double axe. Maybe some day, I learn to use.

    But after battle, blood sing too much, and had been too long. All could think about after battle was celebrate life and make pleasures. Is way should be, no?

    I leave group, I go many places for make go away, but nothing work this time. Think watch many dock worker with no shirt in sun was probable not good way for make go away either.

    I get to bath house and after speak to person, I make pay. Is person I never see, probable never see again.

    Why is no one here understand?

    _A loud burst of giggling and pointing drew Maya’s attention. Maya looked over at them. They returned her gaze haughtily. Mockingly. Maya wondered briefly how long it would take the guards to arrest her, if she truly let Tempus within her, naked like this, after she put one of their heads through the partition behind them.

    Instead Maya closed the journal, and gathered her things._


  • _The trees twinkled in an ethereal breeze, their silver trunks and leaves reflecting light in shifting patterns from a pink, hazy sky. Tall red-brown grass rippled in waves.

    Maya stood in the grass before a yawning chasm. Her wings rested quietly behind her, dark gold hair and white feathers rustled in the wind. Blue eyes glowed with intensity. Far on the other side of the chasm, myriads of demonic figures gibbered and shrieked, their spears and pole arms dancing.

    Maya unfurled her wings, and with a thump of air quickly traversed the chasm. Half way across, summoned in shimmering patterns, a cloud of ravens formed around her. She and the ravens descended quickly, Maya’s legs crouching on impact, axe and shield at the ready.

    The ravens changed. They became ancestors, sons and daughters of Uthgar, dark armor and weapons glimmering in the pink, hazy light. With a cry of “Tempus!”, the battle was joined.

    Maya fought beside her grandfather, his grandfather, and all the men and women before them. Shield deflected pole arm, and weapons sundered neck and limb.

    This was The Exultation. This was The Rapture. Maya’s heart leapt with belonging and joy until…

    She woke.

    Maya stirred lazily, her legs getting tangled in the sheets. She thought about getting up, but the pounding in her head from last night’s ale convinced her otherwise.

    “Ugh”, she thought to herself, “I should not do this, even when have party. Grain and berry not mix.”

    She closed her eyes again, until the screeching caw from the window a few feet away snapped her eyes open. Despite the fog and pain, she bolted upright.

    The raven on the window cocked its head, eyeing her curiously. The bird’s gaze met Maya’s eyes behind locks of disheveled hair, before it took off and flew over Norwick. A single feather settled lazily on the floor.

    Maya reached down and picked up the feather, then flopped her head back down onto the pillow, closing her eyes.

    “Stupid bird”, she muttered in Uthgardt, before passing into a few hours of dreamless slumber._

    Entry 85 – Wants

    I need man.

    Am begin to be grumpy again, and have crazy dream. Always happen when long time without man.

    After great battle with goblins and bugbears, want for make pleasures was almost too much. Is like this much when blood sing. Adam would understand, and (the rest is crossed out). I think I write about this already, on pages before.

    I think of things I do with Ael that would bring much dishonor to Nicahh. Still I think them, and with other men in village too. I worry sometime if blood sing too much, that will do something stupid. Maybe is best if go to bath house in Peltarch, and find person for make happy for one night. No complicate, no dishonor, but with no heart, not be same.

    I tell Nicahh about dream of fly, and she say she have too. Even Yana have dream of fly. She say have dream about fly around inn and sit on roof, so maybe dream is not so crazy.

    I think only way going to make through shift is jump in cold creek behind inn.


  • _“…Give them a place beside you. Honor their spirits for the deeds of war. Grant them peace should they need it, and grant them battle for those that choose to fight again. In the name of Tempus, the Foehammer, I pray”

    Maya looked up into the sky, the last of the Uthgardt words of prayer carried by the wind across the plains of the Nars. The cold morning air had gathered dew on her hair, clothing, and equipment, and Maya shivered involuntarily.

    She stood up slowly from her prayer vigil in front of the moment to those who fell, and wearily continued down the road to Norwick._

    Entry 84 - Shrine

    I speak to Barrim few day ago, about shrine to Tempus inside of Peltarch. Is in place too out of way for people to see.

    I am too tired for remember all of words between us, but get thought that Peltarch not look kind upon guard of Norwick try build shrine to Tempus on place with shrine to fallen warrior. He say is Peltarch land. Is shame, because I thought was good place. He hint that maybe I should come back to Peltarch, but I do not like place where so many can hide behind words of law.

    Now, I try to think of other place. Maybe on hill in Nars for all to see.

    Eyes get heavy now, after pray for day to Tempus. Is time I put quill down, for have duty in six hour, when bell ring. Have much to sleep on.


  • _Maya stood on one of the many hills just north of Norwick. The wind whipped her hair and cloak fiercely, driven by the coming storm from the southwest. Feathers clung tenaciously on cords of leather, on long braids turned gold by the rays of the Summer sun.

    Yana stood beside her, not so little any more. The toddler had grown to child in the past few years. She clung to the cloak around her and leaned against Maya, for the wind cheerily threatened to knock her off balance.

    “Sometimes, people do not see battle around them”, Maya said, looking down at Yana. “They come here, and all see is peace. World has little peace”, she continued.

    Yana looked up, squinting to look at Maya’s face framed by the afternoon sun.

    “Little plants fight for sun against big trees, and are nibble to earth by rabbits. Wolf chases rabbit. Man chases wolf, for fur for keep warm. Trees and grass spread seed all around, and fight for land with each other, just like people”

    Maya paused for a moment, “People not see is little bit of Tempus all around.”

    Yana looked up, “Don’t people want peace?”

    Maya smiled a bit, “Yes is true. But get peace, must be strong and make ready for war. People who not train for war be conquer by people who do. Always remember this.”

    Both looked up as lightning flashed on the horizon. Many moments later, the rumble of thunder rolled across them.

    “Come”, Maya said, “Is time for go. Nature must be respect”_

    Entry 83 – Mentor

    I try for teach what little know to Yana. Each day I see what I know not enough soon. I can teach for fight, and teach ways of Tempus, but not do numbers, and write is not good. I ask villager help with this.

    I see Yana has gift of number and read. I think she is already better at me in this, even though so young. Limb is also strong, but body is thin. She will make good warrior some day, but must learn be smart warrior and protect self.

    Duty now is teach of life. In this way too maybe I not so good, but I can teach of heart of fire, and how try for do best.

    Is funny time like this I find I miss Adam for different reason. Adam would know how teach from books, and maybe teach speak other tongue. Will be funny elf grow up, not know speak tongue of race.

    _Maya puts the quill down as Yana padded in, ready for bed. Maya notes with amusement she still has the rag doll from so many years ago.

    “Good night Maya”, Yana says, giving her a hug, “I love you. Sleep well”

    Maya hugged her fiercely in return, “I love you too”

    Yana smiled contentedly and padded upstairs in the unfinished inn. Maya watched her go before picking up the quill once again._

    Hopefully love be enough. Will be I think, until Yana is teenager. Then will probable do much pray to Tempus.


  • _An exhausted Maya sat on the grass behind what was to be the Grapevine Inn. Over past the grass on the other side of the creek, Yana and several other Norwick children played tirelessly, alternately jumping the creek and screaming in delight.

    Maya took the ladle from the rainwater barrel, and took a long drink before opening her journal._

    Entry 82 – Politics

    Other day I help Lyte fight evil troll. I have fought once before, and are tough and worthy opponent. She want go there and check because see Drow and demon there not so long ago, and ask me to come.

    We see no demon or drow, but we fight troll who there. Then after leave, I escort scout elf name Hor up to Peltarch. She was good talk to and full of life, so make trip quick and fun. Hor is not full name, but I cannot remember.

    There I run into Ronan, Telli, and Melanie.

    Ronan good look but skinny part elf wizard I see in Norwick much. I can see mischief in eye, and think is part trouble maker, but after I speak with in Norwick, not cause much trouble. I am not sure about part in attack Elenwyd and Rhyndar, but each person I speak with say not fight in ambush. I hear Peltarch arrest, but was clear of do wrong, so let go. Maybe is just price for be trouble maker.

    Telli is woman mountain person who is good fun, and was winner in melee in Norwick. Sometime she make me laugh. Her blessing and heart are strong, and I will be proud for fight beside. I can see is person of good heart.

    Melanie is person with much gift with weapon. Is older, and have seen many time before during time here in Nars. I have even fight beside. I had much respect for. But now she do something that speak much of character, and hurt Norwick.

    From what understand, Dwin work hard for get hobgoblin for fight demon goblin. He not make ally of evil hobgoblin, but just get evil for fight evil. Was very clever I think. But after ambassador speak with Hobgoblin leader, Melanie appear from invisible and murder leader, and say then Dwin message never be heard. This after Dwin make promise hobgoblin leader not be hurt.

    I am confuse much about this, so I ask. I ask her explain why do this.

    She tell me cannot be bother.

    When she do this, she attack Dwin honor by make so Dwin not keep promise. She also show she have no honor, for attack leader like assassin. When I say this, she say assassin is person for pay, and she not pay, so I change word to murder.

    I am not sure what do about this. I not challenge her there because is Dwin right for do first. I have no right for make challenge, even though speak so full of self and no respect I want punch in nose. She insult Dwin honor. Is his decide.

    For a moment, the quill is put down, and Maya watches Yana play. Maya’s happy smile slowly turns down, and her gaze turns cold as she picks up the quill again.

    By go against Dwin, she try hurt people of Norwick, and make danger to child I care for. If she keep do this, I take group and hunt her down. I will treat as evil monster, and enemy of Norwick. Will be no challenge to person of no honor. She will be track by scout, corner, and cut to pieces. Children and people of Norwick will be protect.

    But I will respect, because this is what Tempus teach. All who fight much be respect. And when her head on pole I will pray for, that Tempus teach her spirit honor.

    Maya closes the journal with a sigh, then watches the children again. Slowly the cold gaze turns to twinkle, and the mouth to a smile. Then with a squeal and a shout, Maya gets up and leaps the creek to play with the children once more.


  • Entry 81 – Duels

    I fight minotaur champion again other day. This time, I lose. Was not even much of contest, really.

    I wonder this mean he just have good day, I have bad day, or was much better. Fight was over so fast, I not even have time figure out. Last fight last much longer.

    I fight brave and fight true, so Tempus not dishonor. Tempus know that champion cannot win all battle. Part of be champion is strength of heart, not strength of body.

    But now Kull make noise about how not worthy for fight minotaur because is woman. Say send woman out do man job.

    Is funny, because I hear all time when grow up.

    In tribe of Griffon, woman can fight, but for defend village. Is man who go to war. Woman do not. So I understand many think like this too.

    I wonder who Kull pray to. Maybe if Kull fight Maya and win, but I teach Kull for pray to Tempus, would be victory all same.

    But part of worship Tempus mean respect all opponent. This might be hard for Kull, unless Maya win.


  • _Early morning, Maya sits on the edge of the creek behind the Grapevine Inn, her face contorted in pain. Her armor is off, still piled by the bedside in her room in a heap. The simple shift she’s wearing conceals little, her hair clumped with things best not mentioned.

    A guard yells at someone running down the street, and Maya winces. She turns and mutters something quietly in Uthgardt in the direction of the guard, but he neither hears nor cares.

    With effort Maya leans forward, and dunks her whole head in the creek. The creek, fed by snow run-off from the hills is icy cold, but Maya remains submerged for a good twenty seconds before lifting her head up. She picks at something in her tangles tresses in disgust, and then once more submerges her head, scrubbing. Finally, she pulls her head back with a gasp of hair, and shakes it, water spraying in all directions.

    Finally she lays back, sleep overcoming what hobgoblins could not.

    The noon sun and the not so gentle jostling of a foot on her shoulder wakes her. Maya cracks an eye open to see first guard Chet standing over her, a wry smile evident even under the helm.

    “Lieutenant, just a reminder of the patrol you’re leading in an hour”

    Maya cracks another eye open and looks up. A large part of her wants to see if she can cave in the front of Chet’s helm with a well placed fist, but all she manages is a weak nod.

    “Thank you. I be up in bit”, she mumbles in her thick accent.

    Chet wanders off, and through the fog in her head she can hear him talk to one of the other guards, something about clothing and legs, but the voices disappear and merge into someone haggling with one of the merchants.

    Slowly and with effort, Maya gets up and goes to her room._

    Entry 80 – Black Heart

    I drink too much. I drink too much wine from Sisterhood. Take bottle on road. Drink too much on road. Then go Oscura (evil city is crossed out) and drink too much there too.

    Was pretty dumb.

    I want try forget. Think bottle of wine help, but just make world fuzzy, and me angry at everything.

    Then I act in shame. I tell Natanya am miss Adam on anniversary, am angry, and want try forget, and she say should be celebrate time together, and not drink for time apart.

    She is right. Sister of heart is wise in many things.

    I feel sick at self, for treat memory of Adam this way, and run all way back to Norwick. I try make before throw up, but have to stop twice on way. Just glad throw up in chamber pot and not in bed. Much easier for clean.

    I am worry though. Was very angry when go north with black heart. Black heart make very easy for kill hobgoblin. I kill three big hobgoblin in three stroke of axe without even try hard. When heart is black, is like blood sing. All who face me die, in name of Tempus.

    I think am good person. Tempus knows this, and give me power for fight things are evil, in his name. But Tempus give power to people with black heart too. Is way of life, good and bad. All must battle for survive. Tempus only teach we honor each other when do.

    I not want black heart, so must learn celebrate life more. Tonight I will go to old house and read favorite story Adam used read to me, when I could not read.

    I know will cry when do this. I know tears make hard for read. Maybe tears better than wine for Maya.


  • _Adam sat in the large tub, Maya opposite. Adam was saying something about the story he just read, but somehow Maya couldn’t hear the words clearly. His eyes sparkled with the fire in his heart. The timbre of his voice captivated her attention, but the words were lost amidst the song in Maya’s blood. They had just come back from a journey in a cavern, full of things that gibbered and squealed. The battle had been furious, but they had all come through alive.

    Maya curled her legs underneath her and on either side of Adam’s, and moving across the tub, pressed herself against him, water sloshing onto the floor. Adam looked up at Maya and stopped talking. Maya looked down, hunger in her eyes. He reached up gently to caress….

    Maya woke up. The buzz of voices in Norwick filtered in through her dream, and the sunlight through the open windows assaulted her eyes. Slowly she sat up, reluctantly rubbing the sleep away._

    Entry 79 – Anniversary

    I told self I would be in Damara today, on great field of battle where I marry Adam. I thought would do honor to memory of. I move on to new life without him, but memories are still good.

    Wedding was small, but have many important people in, include king of Damara. Adam knew so many people, so many things, that I think part of Nars go when he go to Tymora.

    I think on this day much as day for Nicahh and Ael be marry come close. I hope life together for them is more long than I have with Adam. Is hard to meet someone know is right for, then lose so soon.

    I try for find other man, who can fill warm place in heart, and not be so lonely. Some stay by me for time. Some not feel same way as I do. Some leave. I think would make good wife for someone again, but would hurt for watch grow old, when I do not.

    Maybe Tempus does not wish me be marry. I wonder this much. I wonder if best not have man in heart, so can make heart for Tempus.

    I just come back from fight evil ogre other day, and blood was sing. Was warrior with way of magic there, name of Jeremy. Was tall, strong, and full of years. But we walk separate ways in Peltarch after battle. I think maybe miss chance for not be lonely again, just for one night.

    I hope Tempus does not want me be lonely.