Alice: The Diary of a Sorceress

_Watching my hands glowing green, I feel more like a creature than a human. My powers is nothing to brag of, I learn slowly, I cast with difficulty, and I have no desire to learn. I have gained some form of control now and rarely uses my powers. I enjoy my solitude, I am at ease in the darkness, and I feel free.

There is nothing holding my back, I have left my â€˜mastersâ€ side, feeding him some easy to swallow story, and leaving without having to go in to great depth as to why.

I watch the world from the dark, and the shadows, raven close at my side. We are growing an understanding, I am seeing the world from his perspective and slowly becoming what he is.

And like a raven, I will spend my life alone, never belonging to the flock.

-_

_The grass felt cold and wet beneath my bare feet. It is perhaps childish of me, but I have reached a stage where I no longer care about people judgement. I have tried to be somebody else all my existence, and even after I gained my freedom, I struggled to live up to somebody elseâ€s expectations.

As the moon shun in the sky, I was among a clearing in the woods, running in circles. I sprinted as quick as my bare feet could carry me, turning and chasing Raven over the green meadow. I fell and lay in the wet grass laughing, with him crying above, I was frozen, and my skin felt numb from the chilly weather, I am destined to catch cold, but I donâ€t care.

I know what I am now, what I want to become, and it is unlike anything people are imagining.

I know one person who will be disappointed, but that is not hard to do in the first place.

I have been trying so hard to be a pretty doll, all my life it has been the image people have attempted to for me to take on.

I want to be a raven.

I want to be wild._

Dear Diary

_I feel slightly down, and perhaps jealous, observing the other mages casting spells with such ease, when I still struggle to master spells such as sleep fully.

I suppose the shock that Attentus took me on thinking I was somebody remarkable just to realise he was mistaken, is still effecting me. Though I know he would dump me if he didnâ€t wish to mentor me, I also got this worry that now he does so because he feel duty bound.

Either way, I am settling my concerns with the fact that I prefer quality over quantity, and perhaps it does take longer for me to fully control each spell I seem to so spontaneously posses, but I am also working on perfecting them.

When sleep escapes my fingertips, it appears in the form of a round white ball that travels through the air and surrounds the victims mind, causing them to loose consciousness.

First time I cast it, it sparkled, and shifted in shape, breaking out of its smooth form, and when travelling it shut out and hit the opponent like an arrow, making it very easy to block.

Now it smooth, perfect white, and round, it hovers between my fingers with such ease and control it is beautiful to observe. It remind me of a glass orb, or the moon itself, twirling in mid air as if it was made of the most expensive porcelain. And instead of hitting the enemy, it surrounds and swallow them up, there is that look of confusion and helplessness before they surrender and fall.

I prefer this._

Dear Diary

_Yesterday was interesting.

I had a conversation with my master and though we had difficulty understanding each other I still dear to say that we are perhaps not as different as first estimated. There is an underlying understanding and perhaps respect from knowing where the other come from. It feels at bit at times like he knows what I am going through, been there, done that, recognises it, but had forgotten what it was like.

Our discussions are fascinating, usually of an arcane topic, quite proper, unless I foolishly drive it in a different direction.

I am open with him because he is my master, and so I find myself revealing the most embarrassing fact. He is a good man, so he does not allow me to feel degraded and embarrassed for confiding in him, but I still walk away feeling greatly ashamed.

I bring it upon myself.

Going to bed with a smile upon my face.

That man does not need to cast spells to throw protection upon himself, he has about seven invisible shields up overlapping each other, and each time he put one down for a second, there is a hint of panic, if not worry in his eyes, its quite fascinating.

He does not trust me for trust must be earned, and I can respect that. I do not trust him because I still fear him, but it is all about time.

I think in time, I hope we will grow to become good allies, and I can stand at his side as somebody he would be proud to have there.

We will see._

Dear Diary

_Seated around the fire in Norwick I realised how much I donâ€t belong. Surrounded by Halflings, Elves and Half-Orcs, the only human some farmer who could not even read or write.

I felt like an outsider, I had not the strength to be social, there was very little about them that would interest me.

Does this make me cruel?

I miss the company of Serena, and the other mages, I even miss the company of my master. Perhaps I we donâ€t see eye to eye, but at least we can hold a stimulating conversation.

Why am I here again?_

Dear Diary

_When you're lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is taboo'd by anxiety,

I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in, without impropriety;

For your brain is on fire–and the bedclothes conspire of your usual slumber to plunder you:

First your counterpane goes, and uncovers your toes, and your sheet slips demurely from under you;

Then the blanketing tickles--you feel like mixed pickles--so terribly sharp is the pricking,

And you're hot, and you're cross, and you tumble and toss till there's nothing 'twixt you and the ticking.

Then the bedclothes all creep to the ground in a heap, and you pick 'em all up in a tangle;

Next your pillow resigns and politely declines to remain at its usual angle!

Well, you get some repose in the form of a doze, with hot eye-balls and head ever aching.

But your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams that you'd very much better be waking;

For you dream you are crossing the Channel, and tossing about in a steamer from Norwich-- Which is something between a large Gnome machine and a very small second-class carriage--

And you're giving a treat (penny ice and cold meat) to a party of friends and relations--

They're a ravenous horde--and they all came on board at Peltarch and South dock district Stations.

And bound on that journey you find your attorney (who started that morning from heaven);

He's a bit undersized, and you don't feel surprised when he tells you he's only eleven.

Well, you're driving like mad with this singular lad (by the by, the ship's now a four-wheeler),

And you're playing round games, and he calls you bad names when you tell him that "ties pay the dealer";

But this you can't stand, so you throw up your hand, and you find you're as cold as an icicle,

In your shirt and your socks (the black silk with gold clocks), crossing Nars Plain on a bicycle:

And he and the crew are on bicycles too--which they've somehow or other invested in--

And he's telling the tars all the particulars of a company he's interested in--
It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices all goods from cough mixtures to cables (Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as though they were all vegetables--

You get a good spadesman to plant a small tradesman (first take off his boots with a boot-tree),

And his legs will take root, and his fingers will shoot, and they'll blossom and bud like a fruit-tree--

From the greengrocer tree you get grapes and green pea, cauliflower, pineapple, and cranberries,

While the pastrycook plant cherry brandy will grant, apple puffs, and three corners, and Banburys--

The bottles are a gold penny, and ever so many are taken to selling and sharing,

And just as a few are allotted to you, you awake with a shudder despairing--

You're a regular wreck, with a crick in your neck, and no wonder you snore, for your head's on the floor, and you've needles and pins from your soles to your shins, and your flesh is a-creep, for your left leg's asleep, and you've cramp in your toes, and a fly on your nose, and some fluff in your lung, and a feverish tongue, and a thirst that's intense, and a general sense that you haven't been sleeping in clover;

But the darkness has passed, and it's daylight at last, and the night has been long--ditto ditto my song--and thank goodness they're both of them over!_

Dear Diary

_I poured myself a glass of wine and spent most of the night by the waterfall in Jiyyd. I had just finished meditating, reading up on a couple of more Arcane symbols, and enjoying the moon light. I don't know where my master have been hiding the last few days, but this time apart is probably beneficial for both of us, I suspect that during night he is sound asleep, and though I will not comment upon where, I personaly try to avoid the day as much as possible, along with its sunshine.

There is one animal I rather like as much as I like the raven, and that is the serpent.

But we will not get to why today dear diary, there are so many secrets I will be revealing in good time.

So much, I have yet to tell.

And some I never will._

Dear Diary

_I lay in bed, lay there, with my upper body bared, exposed, arms at the sides, could not move, too hot, too heavy. Raven was seated on my stomach, ripping at my flesh, pecking through my skin, making a hole in the curve between my breasts, pulling at the meat, tearing and eating, the red blood flowing over my pale white skin.

I could not move, could not even scream, or cry, only watch, only wait.

It was a dreadful dream.

I can sit up now and write, though my head feels like a brick. I got enough strength at least to clean myself up a little and eat a roll with butter and honey, and make myself a cup of tea.

Still feel horrible._

Things I love

_The Moon: I see her, and she see me, this silvery disk is more pleasant to the eye than the sun, I can watch her for hours, her face pleases me, and her smile comforts me. Through the window of my room I can see her, and when I sleep, her light will at times stretch through the stained glass, where she cast her silvery blanket over me as I rest, like a caring hand. She is soothing.

The Water: When the world rushes, and people stress, the water lay among them, in the shape of a flat pond, or the serpent shaped river. Nothing affects her, war, hate, death, disappear, all just tumble around her shores, while she remain calm, sleeping, resting, meditating, but always conscious. So I love being seated beside her, allowing the wind to caress me as it caresses her, both with our secrets, both deep in thought, but none of us sharing. She reminds me that each person is a world on their own.

The Night: People fear him, because he makes you blind. One can not see what hides in the dark, people use him, cloaks themselves in his fabric and stealthâ€s as the shadows for a few hours becomes the rules of the world. With him come silence, peace, and often solitude. I love his company, he and I alone, is truly when I am happiest.

The Wind: Like a caress, how I desire to be touched by him and how I love it. To sit in silence and feeling him lift my hair, stroke my cheek, running his fingers down my bare arms. And when I climb high enough, I stand with my arms stretched to each side and it feels as if he is prepared to lift me of the ground. And I watch his children, the birds playing, soaring, as he carries them off in to the sky, floating on his hands. He is powerful, yet he seldom unleashes his fury._

Dear Diary

_I feel hot, sticky, feverish.

There is something moving among the shadows of my room, watching, I have watched his glowing red eyes peering at me for the last couple of hours, is it man or beast I can not tell, dear not tell, canâ€t think, all so very distorted.

I dreamt I was trapped within fire, circular hot fire that rose up around me like plants growing from the ground. I was so hot, slowly boiling, slowly frying, always screaming.

It was a dream, a dream I do not wish to dream again.

I am trembling as if cold, yet I am hot, I am sweating but I need more blankets.

Throat dry, canâ€t get out of bed.

Feel weak.

It is watching.

Write more later._

Dear Diary

_I am dreadfully ill. I couldn't even go out of bed yesterday to get myself something to eat.

Got some water now, and Raven has been keeping me company.

I feel like throwing up.

Will try to eat something today.

I am hot and sweaty, and my head hurts.

maybe I'll write more later._

Dear Diary

_I woke up today with a fever

I don't know if I will go outside today.

I might stay in.

Maybe I'll write more later, but honestly, my head hurts just typing this._

Dear Diary

_I write this with some mixed feelings.

I am still set on leaving, but I have yet to tell my master about my sudden change of heart. I had a bit of a remarkable day which leaves me wondering what I should do about the future.

I like my new room at the "The Whores inn" in Jiyyd, despite its name and my neighbors. It is slightly more expensive, but again larger than what my room in Boars inn, simply because I couldn't bring myself to rent the "slut" room.

I had a bath and a cup of tea when I woke up, I am also taking the liberty of having a glass of wine before going to bed each night.

That reminds me, I didn't sleep very well last night, I woke up about twenty odd times, each dream as confusing and distracting as the next, and none very pleasant. Images, sounds, fears, rapid movement, I felt more tired than when I curled beneath the blanket.

I hope it changes soon.

I could tell about todays happenings, but I am quite tired, and I wish to do a last bit of reading about the "charm person" spell I am currently practicing, before returning to bed.

I know I can do such spells as "Ghostly Visage" but I fear it, as I have yet to learn how to control such simple spells such as "sleep" so for now, despite the many spells I do seem to be capable of casting I only stick to these two.

Sleep and magic missile.

Well, today I got out of bed I cam outside to find a large group of people gathered around what looked like rubble and blood. It was snowing too. Suddenly lightening struck and killed all the chickens nearby and I, Khaya, Deron, Mingal, and alot of elves I don't remember the name of came rushing, to see what had happend. Khaya suggested it was just a weather phenomenon, which I found rather odd since it was snowing, and next she asked why it would kill the chickens where I suggested it might instead just be a warning or perhaps a distraction.

Next came a whole lot of cockatrice and Amana niece who was standing watching the dead chickens upset, got bitten and turned in to stone. Mingal suggested we pulled the statue to Norwick where Frago could tend to her, but I argued that Jiyyd should have people just as capable without us having to drag a statue half way across the Nars.

We next saw a whole lot of odd blue smoke before a large flock of Stirges came flying. The group was prepared to rush of in to the swamp due to the birds, but I again argued that lightening blue smoke and cockatrice does not come from the swamp.

I felt tired, peoples logic is frightening sometimes.

People left and I stayed until I could catch Attentus, I showed him the stoned woman but he had no means to help her, and if he did, he needed time to experiement and concentrate.

As we stood there I heard somebody sneak near me, and I panicked. It was a darkened mage whom kidnapped the statue and it wasn't before attentus threw a spell to see her, I realized it was a woman and what was actually happening.

She went between some teleport rocks near the cave in Jiyyd and vanished.

For ages Attentus and I attempted to find a way to awaken it as she had. He was examining the rocks and sensing, but more or less thinking, while I tried to home in on the threads of the weave and the force that still lingered.

When I thought all had failed, a portal opened and I was thrown through it.

I managed to open the portal, by reaching in to the source itself.

I can't quite belive it.

Attentus came shortly after.

And the mage woman panicked, removed the spell on the girl and fled.

I wont say where we were and where she fled to, but it wasn't difficult to find our way back. We had to kill a fair bit of monsters on the way, I embarrassingly struck myself with a sleep spell on one occasion, but in turn I killed all the monsters surrounding attentus on a different occasion.

It was an intresting day

I am slowly realising one thing about my master I didn't realise before.

One more reason to do some more thinking

It rains alot on Jiyyd, I think I am starting to catch a cold._

Dear Diary

The dead are lying on the field,
Oh, hear her Kraak and cry!
The gaping wound, ravenâ€s yield,
She comes hungry from the sky.
_A childhood poem I suddenly came to think of today.

I didnâ€t sleep well last night, woke up three time from anxious dreams that existed more of sounds, images and shapes that didnâ€t really have much meaning.

My head hurts, but I made a cup of tea which helped a little.

Norwick is dull, I travelled to Jiyyd to deliver my homework, and on the way I nearly stepped in to a trap and got ambushed by nothing less than eight orcs.

I panicked and began running with all of them chasing me, but then Raven turned up, distracted me long enough to lull them off to sleep which ended with their death.

I can do about 7 â€“ 11 sleep spells I believe before I become exhausted.

Donâ€t know how many missiles I can fire, havenâ€t explored it properly yet.

Met Attentus, he cleaned the cut in my temple from the orc attack and we sat by the waterfall in Jiyyd talking.

He acts less cold to me, its odd, nice and yet a bit artificial.

Our lesson was great, I get to fire at him with my spells, but.. heh, my aim and concentration is a bit off so two of them went a little mad, and one even smacked in to the Gong.

We had quite the audience, I suppose it isnâ€t every day you can see somebody smacking attentus with spells, though he shrugs them off like water.

I canâ€t touch him

Not with spells at least.

We talked about lotus and ravens, he though I was a bit like a lotus, and I compared him to a raven, and then we settled on the fact we didnâ€t know each other which is quite true.

Oh and I met this really nice old man. He was like fifty years old, but quite rich and very friendly. He kept his helmet on because he didnâ€t want people to see his face and so judge him.

He bought me a citizenship to Jiyyd, and we went out killing Orcs, I accidentally struck him twice with a sleep spell, once because I was startled, the second because he didnâ€t listen.

He is really rich, got thousands of gold, and goes by the name of Jingles.

I think he is a noble.

Got to study now, write more later_.

_I meditated for a few hours and watched raven today, soaring among the clouds. I thought back on the conversation I had earlier, and how at my best effort to explain I doubt Attentus understood what I meant when I said I wanted to be â€˜thatâ€. Like him.

We are very different, and I respect that as I respect him.

But I do want to be, that.

And I wonder if staying here will allow me soar among the clouds. I am sitting with my books surrounding me and reading up on the â€œcharm personâ€ spell. His lessons are very straight foreword and seeing how I was very much a disappointment to him I doubt he would be too upset if I decided to depart.

I am tempted by the thought.

I could keep doing my studies on my own, without his supervision. Truth is I still long to break fully from the weave, but this is the easy solution, and I might as well make the most of it.

Embrace it.

He is busy.

And I am a silly girl.

I will have to do a lot of thinking, but maybe I will get some raven wings, and just flutter one day of in to the horizon.

I would have to return this necklace, he gave me two actually, I wonder why he keeps giving me things, but, I donâ€t wish them.

Beside he wants it back so.

He really is a good man

I will have to do some serious thinking._

Dear Diary

_I didnâ€t dream of the man with the raven black hair, instead I had a horrid nightmare. I was out in the Rowlins, picking flowers and enjoying the scene of the moon upon the lake when suddenly from the shadows I saw a bright red light, and I was placed under the hold spell. Next I saw was something tall and black in billowing robes slipping up behind me and with a deft flick of his wrist he slit my throat and I awoke in a gasp.

I got up straight away, got dressed, had some honey on bread and ran down the stairs out of the boarâ€s inn. Well, I came upon the road and was heading to Jiyyd, I donâ€t quite know why I chose to go there, but I did want to, anywhere that wasnâ€t Norwick and the forest. I ran in to Khaya and we stood for a while talking, aiding some cursed fellow.

Khaya is nice, if not a little, hm, daft, but still a lovely person.

I didnâ€t go to Jiyyd then, for some reason I decided to turn around and head to Norwick, where I did my daily meditation near the waterfall. Raven watched me though I had told him to not go inside Norwick again, he loves to disappoint me, and he dropped this feather.

He is a naughty, naughty bird

I am gluing it in to my book, I like it, it is the same colour as the hair of the man in my dream.

I am only allowed to cast one spell currently, the Sleep spell, and it is quite a effective one to know. I sleep the monsters and then I slip up to them, and deftly I lift their head up by their hair and slit their throat.

First time I did it, I was all disgusted, I had blood over my hands and dress and I had to do it three times to make sure it had been done properly.

Now I am getting a hang of it, a quick little incision, a nice red line of blood, not that armature like puddle I got the first times.

Well, I did meet somebody quite remarkable today, if not a little boring.

As I travelled to Jiyyd for the second time I was a bit lost in thoughts thinking about the dream, before I stumbled upon a man fighting off two cutpurses, and as I got between them, well, they began chasing me as well. He was bleeding horrible, and well, I was in great agony for one of the women had made a rather large slice in my stomach.

He was going to Norwick but I convinced him to help me to Jiyyd where we all staggered. Some helpful Halfling patched us up, I do not know his name, I do not like Halflings much, but he seemed nice enough.

The man, who went by the name of Archer had all these remarkable runes covering him, and when I regarded them I felt close to throwing up.

I will not go in details about what he said about them, though it was dreadfully interesting, I told him to speak to Attentus though he already knew the name.

Archer was this rather tallish elf with green hair. The sort of silent type that acts a bit almighty around humans.

I tried to talk to him, but he was very boring.

Well, he went off to Norwick and I sat down to do a little homework when who came staggering through the gate bleeding? Well the elf, and I must admit it was very wrong of me, but I felt like laughing.

This time it was Orcs, and I escorted him to Norwick, after helping him to kill all that lurked outside the gate.

It is a funny day when I am escorting people safely around.

Write more later

-_

_Did some thinking

My studies are done, and my homework finished. All I need to do now is present it to Attentus for his approval.

I avoided him today, it was rather nice and I think I will continue doing so.

I was considering moving to Jiyyd but now I realise my place is in Norwick, I will attend his lessons like attending the keep, and distance myself from him.

I think it is best.

And I think he will think that is what is best.

He is too busy to teach me like her promised, I donâ€t know what he was thinking.

I will manage

Somehow._

Nearly died.

Was feeling weakened after I had escorted the elf and I decided to go and have a rest. I foolishly moved out on the west road, just to find an orc waiting patiently. He smacked me hard in the head and I stumbled back toward the Jiyyd gate. I fell unconscious on the ground.

All went black.

I awoke to the sound of grunting and heavy breathing. Tilting my head up I saw the orc standing over me, picking his nose and watching the Jiyyd gate. Oh I was terrified, frightened he might see I was still alive, but the amount of blood flooding out of my body I decided he probably thought I was dead. He stood there as I lay in the mud terrified.

The Halfling from earlier came along and killed him.

I am very grateful, but I didnâ€t stay around him for long.

Dear Diary

_I don't usually awake this early, but I can't force myself more sleep. Raven left sometime during the night, the window is open and though the sun is casting bright streams of light on my floor, I am not feeling very eager to step outside. Perhaps I can stay in bed all day, do my homework inside and meditate here on the floor. I can think of none I am eager to meet, none I would want to speak with, least of all my, 'master'. Perhaps I can avoid him until my work is done and then he can give me another lesson, and I can creep back in here.

He wouldn't notice if he only saw me once a week.

Probably please him as it wouldn't interrupt his meeting with all the women he surround himself with.

I however is not a woman, but a girl, that he look upon with slight pity, and amusement, and so wish to help.

I think I'll stay inside today.

I had a nice dream, the man with raven black hair, and beady eyes, sat down beside me in the rowlings. I looked at him, pleadingly asking him to reveal his true intentions since all men has an underlying reason for why they do what they do. He shook his head, he seldom speak, and just pulled me in to a hug. I lay there in his arms, and darkness surrounded us, unatural darkness, except, they would not touch us, could not, he wouldn't allow it.

But it is just a dream

A rather over dramatic dream, sort of sad and silly

I still like it.

I might go outside and buy some sugar._

_Today as I went outside to buy some sugar, I decided that I would go and have a word with Serena. I pulled on my comfiest robes, the white ones I bought back in Peltarch. It has a lovely little hood that can be pulled up and stops my hair from getting all fuzzy in the rain. Well as I travelled in to the Nars, I saw a most remarkable sight. An Evoke was standing upon the hillside, and a group of fighters, some wearing the milita armour of Norwick was shouting at him. All I saw was him cast some sort of spell before they killed him in an instance. When I moved around to take a closer look, there was Serena, petrified.

A beautiful stone figure, clearly her, stood on the slope with a dagger in hand. Oh you can only imagine how distressed I felt to find my friend in such a state, I was even more angered by the crowd who just shrugged and bickered among themselves about who should carry her to Fred.

Serena was very heavy.

And Fred was in a surprisingly pleasant mood when we found him. For once he didnâ€t charge us, but it might be due to the fact it was an Evoker and not just another fool poking the cockatrice through its cage.

I gave him a small tip along with a few others for the effort, before some druid fool elf came in, panicked, turned in to a bear, and smashed down Fredâ€s door for no real reason.

Fred wasnâ€t happy, but shrugged it all of, he seemed like it wasnâ€t the first time he had encountered such.

I like Serena she is a lovely person.

I will write a bit more later, I had an odd conversation with Attentus and I need to think a little, also I am hungry so I am going to make a sandwich.

I think I got a bit of cheese here somewhere.

-_

_back now

I went to Jiyyd to see how Serena was doing just to find her in deep conversation with no other than Attentus. He invited me to sit and I politely listend to their conversation, holding back my comments in hope of not provoking a reaction. He was arrogant as always, believing I had come to see him, but none the less, I acted polite and sat until Serena made her excuses and left. I expected Attentus to leave as well, but aperantly he had spoken with her, and she had confessed to him that I feared him.

We had a long talk, the type of talk that makes no true sense and nothing came out of. I feel it might have become worse now. Yes he now knows I resent him and fear him, but I so worry he will do something foolish, as most men would, and just make the situation worse.

Apearantly when he took me on he had mistaken me as being "different" or "powerful" and when he learned I was no better than the rest of the mages, our lessons changed drastically.

Typical. Outside the Mage circles I am a freak and an oddity, inside I am a nobody.

He was however attempting to be nice, I suppose I should give him credit, for he isn't a person of evil, he genuinely seemed concerned. He says he will be less harsh to me, I don't mind his wish to dicepline me, nor his attitude, but as I expressed to him, he can't have me display obedience to him plus fulfilling his wish me to be completely idependent.

I also told him that if he was to take me on as an apprentice he would have to teach me everything or nothing, so far what he is teaching me, I could learn from joining the keep and taking classes.

I do not care what he says, I will become powerful.

I will not let him make me feel like I am a failure.

But I think the answer, if there is any, lies in "trust"

I do not trust attentus, and he does not trust me, he is a very private man, and though he makes me feel like he thought I was somebody remarkable, then discovered I was not, and now is sort of being polite to not cast me aside, I do wish he would either go through with it, or yes, cast me aside so I may find my own path.

I do fear him.

My hand glows a soft red when near him, there is only a few emotions that allows my hands to glow such. One type of fear is one of them.

I am not the only one, it is something about his person, he gives of an aura of cold control, he is one of those people whom you just know that if you shouted, screamed, and insulted repeatedly, he would just smirk, fix you with a calm expression, and reply in a witty and yet harsh and sarcastic comment.

He is one of those people whom you can sense the power of even though he seldom display it.

And when he does cast, its like watching a sculpture, not like the other mages about whom cast spells about like they were sweets they could pop in their mouth.

I do not know why his mind so suddenly changed about me.

I do still fear him, not for what he is does consciously, but what he does with out intentions

-_

A thing if beauty, like the night
a black oman of death and blackend skies,
his eyes glitter dark and bright
I watch the mischief of his eyes
So wise and tender in the light
and through the darkness, he wave then flies.

_I wrote a poem about Raven, it isn't dreadfully good, but it took me a few minutes to write.

I am going to have dinner now.

-_

_The covers feel comfy, I like the smell of the blanket, I think the inn keeper had it stored away for a long period and it has that musky damp smell you get in clothes that has not been used for months.

My body ache, it has been an emotionally draining day, I used up most my energy to not start crying like a whimpering child. I need rest, I should leave the window open to allow Raven to get in, but it is so cold in here, he will have to find rest somewhere else.

My feet and hands are freezing, and I think I'll sleep with my socks on.

It is dreadfully lonely. I didn't realize what it meant to be alone before I moved to Narfell.

I wonder if that is what my dream was all about. The desire to just rest in somebodies arms. I don't think I care as much about, you know, as what it would mean to spend a night resting on somebodies chest, feeling his warmth, hearing his heart, his breathing.

Sleepy, must rest.

Maybe I'll dream of the man with the raven black hair.

Write more tomorrow._

Dear Diary.

_I will not speak of the things I learned today in case somebody read this, but these lands are truly corrupt. I miss honesty, the innocence of an existence where secrets are left in the open and truth is cherished. People all pretend to be honest, but it is all dreadful lies.

I sit here with a sunken feeling in my stomach, I had so many things to ask, and yet when I got my â€˜oh soâ€ busy master aside I could not dear to ask them. Each time he is near I feel I am a burden and a distraction, I wish to make my excuses and lave, but he takes such pleasure in getting up and departing I dear not take the satisfaction from him.

I am not happy.

I lay all last night thinking of the feelings of last night, and though the strongest is the urge to punch him, I calmed myself enough to remain curious and kind.

He is harsh, and strict, and perhaps the people at the fire was right when claiming it usually made the best masters, but I am not agreeing.

Men create the evil in this world, and each time I see that lofty look of arrogance and disdain, I realise he is no better.

I picked a flower today and pressed it_

_I donâ€t know what type of flower it is, but it grows near the waterfall in Norwick and is awfully pretty.

I must remember to buy some sugar I have ran out.._

_Last night I dreamt I was flying. It was a remarkable dream, I stood in the rowlings and suddenly my arms became black wings and as I ran I lifted off the ground and soared in to the sky with my raven. We flew over Norwick watching the people bellow but nobody saw us. I was tempted to land on the roof of the Keep but I was worried that once I stopped flying I would fly no more. I love the feeling of flight, I hope I will dream that dream again.

I found some sugar, in the bottom of my bag, still need to buy more tomorrow.

Now I can make tea.

I wish I was a raven._