3. A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary

A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary


  • Entry 37 –

    Not much going on. I saw Coin and Cera again. Coin warned gave me an outfit he picked up in Peltarch, and warned me that Devon seemed to be very interested in me. I must say I’m a bit nervous with how he kept staring at me when we met.

    What is his plan now? Why did he suddenly switch from wanting to kill her to using her as a hostage?

    Also saw Andrio, who is a paladin I previously met. He seemed to be acting very odd, like his head was jumbled up. I chanted a prayer to Tyr for him and Andrio returned to normal. We chatted for a little bit, as I told him of the big battle with Vinessa and Selron and the demon that was their master. He was worried about his brother Sergio. I do hope the man is still alive.


  • ((OOC – And the plot thickens))

    Entry 36 –

    I spoke with Karion today. He still hasn’t gotten to talk to Braeth. Oh well. I confessed to Karion that I’m worried about Braeth. I don’t like the new attitude he’s gotten, this whole “shades of grey” bit. It worries me. Karion thought it was odd too.

    Coin and Cera then approached me. Both seem to be much better. Cera’s acting like herself again. Coin gave me some fairy dust so that I could get some of Misty’s special brews. He says they make a person invisible, which sounds very useful. The two had invited me to help them out with some errands, but I wanted to see Braeth so I left them.

    Braeth was with Wilhelm, Reginald, and a gypsy that I hadn’t met before. The gypsy became very worried when Braeth joked about Reginald being a werewolf. It seems gypsies have great loathing for the beasts, which I would say is justified. Just as we were talking about werewolves, we suddenly heard some howling from the North Rawlinswood. Braeth headed south to see to the situation, as did Reginald, Smog and Suppei. I must say I was worried at one point because I could sense that Braeth was bitten by one of the werewolves, but he had eaten some belledona and should be better. Wilhelm also briefly went, I think he was hoping that if he shapeshifted into a wolf he’d be able to talk to the beasts. But he came back and announced he was heading north.

    Kanen then came over to talk with me. As we talked, he noticed an old man staring at us. We approached him and he asked for Wilhelm, saying he had a message to deliver. The man was very odd, and in the back of my mind, I sensed Devon’s handywork. Damn my woman intuition, I was right, but that’s getting ahead of myself. We told the old man that Wilhelm headed north, and tried to get him to give us the message to pass on. He refused our offer, instead demanding to take us to Wilhelm. Braeth caught up to us and we all went to find Wil.

    The old man stopped several times to stare at me, and my amulet in particular. His gaze made me feel very uncomfortable. He asked me why I wore the amulet, and I told him that it’s for protection, and that my love gave it to me so that he could be protecting me even if he weren’t around. The man seemed satisfied by my answer, but kept staring every now and then. At one point he called it foolish. That really angered me. I answered back that love is never foolish, to which he replied that I knew nothing of love. Something inside me exploded, and I started to yell back at him how I sure as hell know about love! Without my love for Braeth, and his love for me, I would be dead!

    Finally, Wilhelm was found and we headed back to the Boarshead Inn. Reginald, Wilhelm, Braeth, and Kanen were there to listen to this old man’s message. The man did a lot of strange theatrics at first, and then suddenly started talking quite normal. To make this long story short, the man was actually Devon, or at least the wizard speaking through another’s body, and demanded that Wilhelm call off his “wolves” in exchange for Jade’s life. Much bantering took place, and we kept demanding proof that she was alright. He never gave any real proof, but did change himself to look exactly like her, talk like her, and even spoke with her memories. I knew it wasn’t anywhere’s close to the real Jade though. I doubt she’d yell at me to stop fiddling with my amulet.

    After the old man left us, we began to talk about Steele. Wilhelm still didn’t trust the paladin. Steele walked in on us and was made very uncomfortable by our conversation and left. By Tyr, all these guys like to act before thinking, and it’s hurting Steele’s feelings to see his friends turn on him. Braeth and I chased after Steele, and we told him that we thought he was innocent, saying that it was obvious that if he had given the death threats, it was only because Devon was in control of his body.

    After talking with Steele, Braeth got word that Vashere had been killed, he was last seen heading to the Goblin Stronghold. A group of us went after him to rescue his body.


  • ((OOC – First impression of B8: AWESOME!!!))

    Entry 35 –

    Today I again saw Steele. I was hoping to see him, and try to get him to meet up with the others. As luck would have it, Reginald came right up! He was surprised to see Steele, of course, but managed to stay pretty composed. We decided to travel to Jiyyd since the bandits have been beaten back. Plus Braeth and Wilhelm had travelled up there and Steele really wanted to talk to both Wil and Reg.

    The journey was pretty swift. Saw some orcs, but they were taken care of by other adventurers. The town of Jiyyd is pretty nice and simple, kinda like Norwick. The three of us decided to wait at the inn for Wilhelm and Braeth. “The Regal Whore Inn.” Not the best of names if you ask Steele and I. We only had to wait a few minutes before the others arrived. Braeth handled seeing Steele very well, but Wilhelm… Wilhelm was immediately hostile, but I can’t blame him. Basically, Wilhelm really thinks that Steele was behind Jade’s disappearance. And he very well could have. Steele told his story which seems legit. I don’t think he’s lying. But there are some spots where he doesn’t have any recollection. That troubles me. Knowing a Red Wizard is likely behind all of this, I’m willing to bet that Steele has been unwittingly used. And it’ll crush him if he finds out it is so. Steele of course was pretty shocked to hear Wilhelm’s accusations. Braeth and I did our best to give a quick summary of what was going on and why it’s thought that Steele could have done such deeds. Braeth said he’d accept Steele’s story for now, but will be watching him closely and if he finds out Steele has hurt Jade in any way, Braeth would be after him.

    Men. So quick to act. Call it woman’s intuition, but I suspect that Steele is as much of a victim here.

    Braeth again mentioned about how there is no clear good and evil in the world. Only “shades of grey.” It hurts me to hear him say such things. Where is my elven ranger that strives to serve the Greater Good? How could he say something that goes so against everything I believe in?

    Steele left us, a bit depressed from the comments from his formal friends. I’ll have to talk more with him later. I really do feel bad for him.

    Braeth invited Reginald and I to go with him to explore a crypt near the town. There was a huge group of us gathered. Vashere, Reg, Braeth, Wilhelm, Laurick, and some others I don’t know. Such a large number was a bit unwieldy, but we managed. The crypt was interesting to explore, and there were a bunch of undead. Then we saw some elementals. Huge ones. We tried to back track, but they blocked the exit. The earth elemental basically told us “Fight fire or die.” So we fought the fire elementals and won. We all decided to leave, not wanting to risk further angering of whatever guards the crypt.

    It seems that Reginald got bitten by a werewolf. He changed into one and attacked some people. Braeth made some jokes about it, while Reginald kept denying that he was a werewolf. But we all told him so and he finally accepted the fact. Then we were telling him he should lock himself up at night, and Wilhelm said to lock him up in the jail. While he said afterward that he meant it only as a joke, Reginald didn’t like the idea and made himself invisable and ran off.

    Oh well, just as some problems end, new ones come up. That’s life for you.


  • ((OOC – What a great, huge event. I had LOTS of fun.))

    Entry 34 -

    Much has happened today, and I’m quite physically and emotionally spent. However, I think the bulk of our problems have been taken care of.

    When I headed out of the inn, there wasn’t many defenders protecting the town. Braeth, Kanen, Thorin, and I did our best to protect our home. First we had pixies attack again, and some undead. We were expecting a war machine to appear again, but what happened was much, much worse.

    Dragons. Two enormous dragons attacked the four of us, and I thought I saw a shadowy form in the background. I feared for my life, and tried to run, but of course I couldn’t run. I was trapped on the platform. I almost fell apart mentally, as the fear for my life was triggering the Fear and demons that haunt me. And I couldn’t run. I only had one option. Fight, even if it’s futile, FIGHT!!! As soon as the thought entered my head, I felt a shift in me. I felt my strength feed off the Fear, channeling it. I had accepted my Fear, and now used it.

    While that in itself was a grand victory, I’d be crazy to assume that I survived the dragons. I think I lasted longer than I expected though. We were all defeated. How could we even be a match for two dragons? We sat on the Fugue, wondering what would happen to us next. Suddenly, I felt Tyr’s presence, but could not see him. Everything went black, and I woke up in the Phoenix Guild. Helm must have also sent Kanen back, because he was with me. Thorin, who just entered the guilldhall, was quite surprised to see us.

    Kanen and I ran for the general store to get new equipment. The dragons ruined the gear we originally had. Too bad, as I loved that armor Vashere gave me. Kanen happened upon Vinessa’s body on his way there, so we both took advantage of the money she carried and got some stuff. I don’t normally advocate such a deed, but I think we should just consider it a donation from her to repay some of her sins. After we were ready, we regrouped with the rest of the towns defenders, and we all decided we should burn Vinessa’s body again. I began to search for Braeth’s body, as it appeared that he was still dead. I headed to the Friar’s and found that he had been brought back.

    The whole group of townsfolk left in town gathered by the mayor’s house to decide how what to do with Vinessa’s body and the corpse of Seleron, who worked with the witch. Vashere said that the only way to truly end Vinessa was to turn her corpse into an undead and then destroy the monster with divine magic. His thinking was that we would be harming her spirit this way. Many of us disagreed, myself included, feeling that we cannot commit an evil act to do good. Some others of course agreed with Vashere. Sadly, Braeth agreed with him, but I can understand because he has much respect for Vashere. And despite my disagreeing with Vashere, I still have respect for him. He did have the town’s interests at heart. But what really saddened me was Braeth’s comment on how there is no black and white with evil vs good. “Only shades of grey.” Such a jaded comment… And one that goes against my beliefs…

    In the end, the people who were against Vashere’s decision won, and the bodies were burned. Just as they finished burning though, they became animated on their own. So I guess Vashere got his wish. After the corpses were beaten down, Thorin and another doused them in both holy water and acid.

    As soon as the task was done, we suddenly heard a booming voice from the middle of town. That shadowy form was standing in the center of town, promising death and destruction to all. Somebody mentioned to me that this was Vinessa’s master. A huge battle ensued. I watched on from a safe distance, watching to see if I could heal anybody. I knew that I would be unable to cause any harm to the demon. Everytime they seemed to get the monster beaten down, parts of him split open and he changed into an even scarier creature. In the end, Anselm dove into the well and pulled out a crystal that he learned was in it. He used the crystal to trap the demon. There was a big argument on what to do with the crystal, but it was finally decided that the elves in the North Deeper Rawlinswood would watch the crystal for now until a more permanent solution could be found.

    Also I have new found respect for Adam Bromley. He risked his life by infiltrating Vinessa’s group of people to get information. I never would have expected to find him doing such.

    I saw a familiar face in town. Surprised me to see it, actually. It was Jade’s mentor, Steele. I followed him at a distance around town, trying to decide if I should or shouldn’t approach him. While I was tailing him, I ran into Lolita and Verix. Lolita and I felt something strange in Verix. He confessed that he became something akin to undead, but wasn’t really one. Killthorn Tal came over and used his senses to verify that no darkness hung in Verix’s aura. I’ll take his word for now, but I’ll keep an eye on the mage all the same.

    I then resumed my chase of Steele, deciding to approach him. He’s had to have seen me following him anyways, might as well come clean about it. Of course, I was right, Steele was waiting for me and immediately asked why I was following him. I replied that he seemed familiar to me and curiosity got the better of me. He the asked if I had seen Jade, Wilhelm, and Reginald anywhere. I told him how Jade was missing, but the other two were still around. We then introduced ourselves to each other, and sure enough, he’s Steele.

    And so a piece to Jade’s disappearance has entered the picture. I hope to talk to Steele more. I truly hope that it isn’t true that Devon has done something to Jade’s friend.


  • ((OOC - Despite the lag killing me, I really was having fun. Can’t wait to see more of this plot unfold.))

    Entry 33 -

    I was talking with Braeth, Seven, Kanen, and Reginald in the inn before we headed out. Reg mentioned that Jade was still missing and that he was going to be helping Wilhelm look for her. Braeth and I also said we’d help. We all pretty much decided that Steele was our best lead. He’s been seen around town and we know that Devon did something to him.

    Suddenly, a far off voice started to cast a spell, it sounded like Cera, and I blacked out. When I woke, Seven told me that the others went chasing after the person who cast the sleep spell on me. I ran down the stairs to see what was going on. I swore it was Cera that was casting. When I got downstairs it looked like they had caught Cera. She was talking funny though. She saw us all as some wizards that had kidnapped her. Try as we might, we couldn’t convince her that Narfell was real. She thought it was a dream. “Mojo” seemed to remember though. It saddened me to see her in such a state. It was like what I went through when I was first under the Fear after the night She was possessed. I only saw the world full of demons. The only thing that pulled me out of that was Braeth. He was the only thing I clung onto for Hope. I think we need to find that one thing Cera feels a strong connection to in order to snap her out of her state. We had tried many things, trying to get her to remember her friends. One thing we didn’t try was mentioning Sakura. We didn’t want to chance shattering her mind further by reminding her about her stillborn child.

    Still, I wonder if we should have taken the chance.

    After letting Cera leave us, we all decided to get ready for our search for Jade. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to head out. Evil pixies suddenly attacked, causing some of us to attack each other through confusion. The town organized to stop the threat, and also posted extra guards at both gates in case other enemies decided to make a move. We soon discovered that the pixies were appearing from the well. We fought them off, well enough. Then the war golems appeared. I tried to stay out of the melee, but soon found one of the constructs looming over me. I tried to block the attack, but it’s fist pounded me into the ground. In the back of my mind, I could tell many bones were broken. I felt my life fading from my body. Before I totally blacked out, I mouthed one last prayer to Tyr. When I awoke, I found myself still alive, and healed. I give much praise to Tyr for answering my call.

    Strangely, my armor changed colors. It must have been slightly distorted by the Wild Magic.

    Things seemed to have quieted down after the golems were taken care of. I still made a quick around town to make sure things were truly alright. I ran into a man at the Friar’s who recognized me. He said a friend told him of me. I had a small chat with the person, named Victor. He was concerned about my nightmares, and gave me some encouraging words. He also said I should try to face Her. Getting rid of the demon that was my friend would help me to overcome my Fear. I must admit it makes sense. I really think I need to talk to Karion some more about what he’s planning.


  • _((OOC - You know, sometimes I feel very badly for Kara. She has a habit of having days like last night. It starts off with her getting involved in something that has her face a huge problem, and she pulls through making the day feel like things will be getting better. Then hell breaks loose and knocks her into an even deeper pit.

    Mas, you would have to play mind games with her, wouldn't you.

    Don't worry folks, I'm not having her go totally crazy again.

    At least, not yet…))_

    Entry 32 -

    I feel like hell. My head hurts so much from my mental struggles. So hard to think. Just when I start to feel like I've got a handle on my Fear, something comes along and makes it stronger. And it seems I succumb when people need me the most.

    I feel like such a failure because of it.

    Today started out with a chat with Seven and Wilhelm. Seven seems to be doing okay after her ordeal. It was nice to see her smiling and humming away. Wilhelm, on the other hand, was very troubled. Jade has mysteriously vanished on him one night. Just her and a blanket is missing. I fear she's been kidnapped. Or worse.

    Then I heard some shouting from the jail. It almost sounded like Karion's voice. So I went to investigate, and found Karion, Fishel, and Gulir talking to Kanen, who was in a jail cell. When they told me why he was jailed, I almost fell into my Fear again. Actually, I think I did for a moment.

    Kanen saw Her again. He was jailed because he attacked Her, knowing of the demon that has replaced my friend. I had to retell to Jore the story of the night She was changed to convince him to free Kanen. Jore promises to look into the situation of Justi_illegible scribble_

    It still hurts to think of Her. Many of my friends would say that my friend is no more, only the demon remains. Deep down inside me though, I still have hope have my friend come back. Foolish hope, I'm sure, but I just can't let her memory go. But if she must be destroyed with the demon, so be it. Better that she is completely dead than to allow that demon to exist in our world.

    Kanen was very thankful of me for doing what I did to get him out of jail. He realized how much of a sacrifice it took me to tell the story without slipping into the Fear again. It was very mentally draining to fight the Fear. Sometimes I surprise myself with the strength of my devotion to my friends. If I didn't follow Tyr, I suspect I could easily follow Torm. Which I guess isn't too much of a stretch.

    After leaving Kanen, I met with Reginald who was talking to a halfling called Wysp. It seems that Wysp suddenly appeared in town, coming from Cormyr. She was very confused at being so instantly brought here, and wondered how she'd get back. Poor girl. One thing we noticed soon after meeting her is how she seems to be able to channel magic, often without thought. Sounds like she's a sorceror.

    Karion called me over, and told me how he and some friends are planning to destroy the demon that was my friend. He was wanting to know if I'd be able to help or give information. I told him that I'd help as best as I could. I think I'll try to talk to him more about it. I need to get involved, and see this torment ended. Perhaps facing the center of the Fear will end it.

    I'm so tired of the Fear. After talking with Karion, there was shouting that the town was attacked. I headed to help at the north gate, where bandits were attacking. I also heard rumors that the bugbears and goblins were also attacking from the south. The bandits… they were very powerful. I got blasted away by multiple fireballs. I almost died, but I think Reginald was able to get me healed enough.

    Being so near death, it scared me. My Fear fed on my frightened state and took over me again. I'm not sure what happened to me while I was under the Fear. I've got brief flashes of memory telling me I hid in the inn, then wandered outside, running from demons. They were probably people wanting to help me. I hope they forgive me for it.

    Something else started to worm it's way into my head. It started while I was under the Fear, but it didn't feel totally as if it was from the Fear. A whisper in the back of my mind. I couldn't understand it, I just mistook it for a demon. It quieted and soon I finally broke free of the Fear.

    I looked about, and found I was near the well. Coin and Cera were at the well, and Cera fell in! Coin was so devastated. I stumbled about, trying to think through the haze and headache that filled my head. Suddenly, vampires broke through the gate and the townsfolk fought back. I tried to fight back some, but I found that I lost most of my belongings when I was felled by the bandits. I had no holy symbol to try to drive back the undead with. Nor did I have a weapon besides my sling.

    And then I started to hear the whisper again. It startled me so, and I felt the Fear trying to overtake me again. I summoned every ounce of energy I had to hold back the Fear, knowing that I'd only get killed if I succumbed to it again. But the whispers.... They kept telling me to drink the water from the well. Telling me that I'd feel better, and safe. My torment would be ended.

    I fought back, yelled at it, told it to leave me alone. But still it whispered and beckoned. Coin overheard me, and told me to drink the water. Confusion set into me. Why drink the water? What did he know of the water? Why did the whisper want me to drink? Whatever I said struck a cord within Coin, and he rushed over to the well and drank, just as I was about to submit to the whisper and have a drink myself.

    As soon as he drank, he screamed in pain, then started to change, growing into a beast. He attacked others, who also changed into beasts. I was seeing the town turn to demons before my own eyes. In reality, they were only werewolves, but still it triggered my Fear. In my Fear induced state, I must have tried to leave the town via the North Gate. I tripped on something. It was a body. Reginald's body.

    Again, my devotion to my friends proved very strong. Seeing my dead friend snapped me out of my Fear, and I quickly grabbed his body, stuffing it into the magical bag Fishel gave Charbonneau's body in. I then headed back into town, intent to get the body to the Friar's so that he may be Raised.

    The whispers started to tempt me again as I neared the well. And vampires still ran about trying to kill people. Somebody yelled at me to help out, but I couldn't. I was locked in an internal battle with Fear and the whisper. Fear told me to run away, far away. The whisper told me to drink. Then I saw Coin again, he was returned to normal. Seeing him reminded me of how evil the well was and I used that knowledge and my devotion to help Reginald. The strength they gave me allowed me to resist the whisper and Fear.

    I got Reginald's body to the Friar's. By Tyr, there were a lot of dead bodies in the house. Reginald was raised, and thanked me for my help to save him. Things outside quieted down, and I overheard the mayor shouting that the enemy has retreated, giving us a reprieve.

    Braeth finally found me, and I cried loud and long into him. He and Gulir tried to encourage and cheer me. I felt a little better, but still...

    All I am is a scared, little girl.


  • Entry 31 -

    We had a Legion council meeting today. Or rather, Alliance council meeting. Yup, the name of our group has changed, as we don't like the old one anymore. The Alliance is a temporary name right now, but I have the feeling it may stick.

    Braeth is angry at me for the way I voted on one of the decisions we made. I know he won't understand why I voted the way I did. I just didn't think we as a group could handle the responsibility of what was being asked. Not right now. Maybe if circumstances change…

    It seems I need to come up with a color scheme for the members of the Temple. Gold has to be one of the colors, as that is the Alliance's color. I'm considering blue as the other color. I'm also thinking of what other gods to include, as the guild has people of many faiths. Tyr and Torm of course will have high honor, and I'm also planning to have Helm and Athanatos. I think that will be good.

    So much to do...


  • ((OOC - Ah, a day that actually was relaxing for Kara.))

    Entry 30 -

    Kanen's doing well. I was worried at how he'd be after the ordeal with Seven, but he seems to have bounced back alright. Of course, he could just be hiding his pain well. He says that Seven is alright, too. I'm especially worried about her.

    Hugh is not doing well after his dismissal from his monatary. While we were talking, he'd occasionally become overwhelmed by a pain and have to sit down. After a couple of times, I took a good look at him, bringing my medical knowledge to bear. His body seemed to be very stressed out, as if it was struggling against an unseen force. It turns out that since his order kicked him out, he's been having some troubles controlling his Ki. I fear he may burn himself out unless he finds a way to control his inner power.

    Speaking of burning, Wilhelm showed us a neat trick. Reginald mentioned the standing stones in town, wondering what they were for. Wilhelm explained that they are druidic in nature, pointing out the runes. He then had us all stand in the center of the stones, so that he could show us their power. He called down a spell, surrounding the whole area around the stones with fire for a brief moment. The fire stayed out of the circle of stones though. Quite amazing really.

    I met some more followers of Tyr today! There was a dwarf named Desil, who introduced himself as a Battle Cleric of Tyr. The title reminded me of Guir, and so I mentioned him. Turns out that Desil is Guir's brother! Small world, eh? There was also Andrio, a paladin of Tyr, and another who's name I can't remember. I also met a paladin of Selune. I guess there's a first for everything. Argh, what's his name? I even traveled with the man to make sure that he doesn't get killed by goblins and I don't remember his name?

    Blame it on the many thoughts running around in my head.

    Eh, maybe it's that I need some sleep.


  • Entry 29 -

    Dammit! So much I want to write down tonight, but I can't. I promised not to tell anybody, and that will include not even writing it down in my personal diary. It's tearing me up not being able to write out my thoughts about what I've been privy to. And I really need to do it, because I just don't know what to do about the situation that came up.

    Braeth, you are really worrying me.

    One thing I can talk about is that I saw Cera again. She's worrying me, too. I had thought she got over Sakura's death, but it seems I was wrong. It seems Cera has developed a separate personality of Sakura. Which I suppose shouldn't surprise me. She always has seemed kinda crazy. At least her Mojo personality has some form of reality as her familiar. Oh! I finally got to meet that big cat of hers. Magnificiant animal.

    Well, I'm going to end this entry here before I'm tempted to write about the things I can't. Perhaps some extra prayers to Tyr will ease my mind and guide my heart.

    Hey, I think I have a solution!

    the next couple of pages appears to be torn neatly out of the diary

    ((OOC - The solution she came up with was to write down what she wanted to say, so that she has her thoughts straightened out, and then tore the pages out and tossed them into the fire.))


  • _((OOC - Holy cow! Thanks Illum and Zwei for making setting up a great story for the rest of us to sink our teeth into. Everybody who got involved made last night a great RP night. It certainly was one of the best nights I ever had.

    What's the best? Hmmm… I'm too much of a Libra, thus I can't decide. The night Tyr resurrected Kara was awesome because of what happened after the resurrection. Another high ranking night was when Kara returned to town after going insane. And finally, Kara's bonding to Braeth was a great night.

    Anyways, on with the show!))_

    Entry 28 -

    The diary starts out with a couple of lines written, then crossed out, as if Kara had started to write something, then didn't like what she started. It appears this happened twice before the final writing.

    Damn it! I just can't seem to find the right words to start tonights entry. My mind is such a jumble of thoughts and emotions. I suppose I should just start at the beginning and work my way from there.

    I started off going out to find some friends to talk to. I really do enjoy being with friends. Especially nowadays, when the friendships help me to keep the Fear out of my mind. So, you can imagine my dismay that nobody seemed to be about. I briefly talked to that Garen character. He seemed nice enough but I'm still going to be a bit wary of him.

    Meanwhile, I was really starting to get worried about my friends. I was getting disturbing feelings from Braeth. I could feel great concern for Seven and Kanen, and anger and hatred for Jubei, and frustration for not being able to catch the assassin. When Jade ran into me, I became even more concerned as she began to ask me where Seven was with a worried voice. She was about to head off in search of Seven, with me in tow even if she didn't want me, when Braeth and Wilhelm ran up. What they had to tell chilled me to the bone.

    Seven was kidnapped by Jubei. Perhaps he realized she was spying on him. Kanen, Wilhelm, and Braeth dared a rescue mission for my sister of faith. They were successful in rescuing her alive, but it came out that Seven loved Jubei, even as he had her kidnapped and threatened her life. Surprisingly, Jubei cared for her as well. He couldn't follow through with his threats though, and ran off.

    What makes this even more crazy is that Seven also has feelings for Kanen, and he has the same feelings for her. Poor Kanen. Poor Seven.

    Jade asked about the death threats for Seven that I mentioned hearing about. I told her of the one that Kanen and Seven told me the other day, where the messenger looked like Steele, who was Jade's mentor killed by Jubei. We all decided that we should check Steele's grave. The thought that his body could be have been disturbed from it's final rest was quite disturbing, and we all hoped it was just coincidence that the messenger looked like Steele.

    Alas, our fears were true. Steele's grave was dug up. I just can't describe the utter disgust I have for such an act. As I've mentioned before, my village would sometimes be plagued by necromancers defiling the graves of our dead. The sights of them raising undead for their own gains still brings anger to my eyes even now. My disgust with disturbing the dead is why I've asked Tyr for powers to battle the undead, even though the domain of power is not his typical. Even if Steele was not turned into an undead, the fact that he was disturbed from his final rest is enough to bring forth my anger. I just had a hard time believing that even Jubei would be involved in such an act. He seemed to have more honor.

    As I sat at the grave with my friends, I felt much sorrow for Jade. I wanted to say something, but just couldn't find the words. The shock of what we saw just didn't allow me to be able to say anything. We suddenly were pulled out of our silent reflection by a couple of arrows fired at Jade, giving slight wounds. Immediately, we jumped up and gave chase to the source of the attack, not surprised to see Jubei. We were able to catch him and subdue the assassin.

    Braeth placed him in jail and Jade proceeded to ask him questions to find out who sent him, what happened to Steele, and what else the “master” has in store for us. Surprisingly, Jubei did give over much of the information asked for. His master is a Red Wizard named Devon, who apparently is trying to avenge Jade for the death of another named Caleb. And this Devon apparently did arrange for Steele to be brought back to life. Even though Jubei said that Steele was truly alive and not undead, I still can’t help but feel disgust. Jubei always was talking that he’s on a mission of Justice, and before there was the chance that I could believe it, being a cleric of Tyr. But to do this to Steele is not Justice. Devon seeks Vengeance, and nothing else.

    I just don’t know what to think about Jubei. At first, I despised him because he threatened a friend of mine. Then some curiosity as he spoke about trying to bring Justice. Anger at him for kidnapping Seven. Now, I think I pity him. He’s found love, but denies it because he sees it as a weakness. He thinks his feelings for Seven were foolish. Perhaps they were, as far as his mission of vengeance goes. But I cannot believe that love is ever foolish. I hope he realizes this someday. I wonder if he can be redeemed. I see potential for it.

    May Tyr grant us a solution to this whole dilema.


  • ((OOC - I was on for a while, got involved with the well problems, then started to talk to a new friend I made a few nights ago and my comp crashes. Mind you, I crashed in mid-conversation when I first met this person too. I couldn't get back in, though, because the server was full, full, full, full, and full. At 3 am EST. sigh))

    Entry 27 -

    Tired tonight, so I'll keep this short.

    Saw Kanen and Seven today. I think I've seen them together quite often. I suspect they are getting attached to each other. Hee hee. Anyways, they were happy to hear that Braeth and I became bonded. They also asked me about my thoughts on a death threat for Seven that Kanen was given. Oddly enough, the person that gave Kanen the message looked like Steele, Jade's mentor. At least from the description that Kanen gave me. I wonder if this is somehow related to Jubei. I shall have to keep Seven in my prayers. She's been a good friend.

    Things started to act weird at the well. AGAIN. Why can't this madness end? It seems the whole town is a wild magic zone now. Also, vampires started to appear at the well, and caused a little bit of havoc. Jore soon had Braeth gather the militia, Legion, and and a few other townsfolk to guard the well and keep people away from it. He also had a couple of people from Spellweaver take a look. There was a big town meeting about the situation and the final decision is that there will be a fence placed around the well and people must refrain from casting spells in town.

    I briefly saw Nina again today. She was worried about me when I went running off before. Unfortunately I couldn't stay and talk with her.

    ((OOC - Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid computer and full server at 3 am!!!!))


  • Entry 26 -

    I have just had the happiest day of my life. Oh, my heart still goes pitter-pat when I think of it. Braeth and I have performed the Elven Bonding ceremony. We are now one.

    Karion, Elle and Wilhelm joined us for the journey to the Elven Encampment, as we invited each to the ceremony, but the elves would not allow Wilhelm in because he is half-human. I feel so bad for him. He deserves to be allowed in more than myself! Sure, I’m bonding with an elf, but he is the result of such a union. Well, I’m sure I wouldn’t be allowed in again, so I will forever count myself blessed for seeing the place.

    Calendall performed the ceremony, and it was a nice experience. I was asked to come forward to speak of what I knew about the elves and what it meant to be an elf. I had to search my heart for a moment to find the right words to say what I felt. When I did speak, the words flowed out very easily though.

    I’ve gotten to be friends with a handful of elves, and noticed one thing that easily sets them apart from my other friends. They have great loyalty to those they care about. Karion did all he could to see me raised when I first died, not giving up hope even when some force seemed to block the attempt. Braeth pulled me from the deepest pit of despair and fear, restoring my mind, faith, and spirit. I’ve even seen this loyalty in good ol’ Tyger, who was always willing to help my father. Ah, good ol’ Tyger. I always looked forward to the times when he’d invite me to his ranger camp. He used to love telling me stories, and was often better than some bards I’ve met. And the wonderous sights of the forest he’d show me, like a sunset over a mountain valley or the moonlight filtering through a particular grove of trees.

    To me, an elf should be someone who shows great loyalty to friends and family, loves and appreciates the forest around us, and is always willing to sit down and share stories and good times. That’s what I’ve seen in all my elven friends.

    Braeth, Elle, and Karion then gave me some brief of elves, their gods, and history. I know that it was only a few drops of knowledge when compared to all that I could learn, but it was appreciated all the same. I think Calendall was pleased. After, Braeth and I prepared ourselves for the rest of the ceremony. We both looked radiant our clothes for the occasion. The elven silk is like nothing else.

    Calendall called on the Seldarine to give us their blessings for our union. We then seperated the bracelet that signifies our bonding, each taking half. Suddenly I felt a rush in my head and heart as Braeth’s feelings became one with mine. I must admit, it will take some getting used to feeling exactly what he feels, but it’s not really uncomfortable. Just different. I feel stronger from his feelings for me.

    When we left the encampment, we were greated at the gate by Vashere and another who’s name I didn’t hear. They told us that Vinessa had tried to crash our ceremony, and killed many of the elven rangers that guarded the gate. In the end, she and her minions were driven away. That witch!! Can she not allow a joyous occasion to occur without some misery?

    I did get some presents to congratulate our Bonding ceremony. Vashere gave me a wonderful suit of half plate armor. It’s a little heavier than the banded mail I wear, but the extra weight isn’t too bad, especially now that I feel strengthened by the bonding. I still need to go have it’s colors changed to the Legion colors though. I still have to thank him for it. Perhaps later today.

    Coin also gave me a present, something he hopes would help keep the demons of my mind at bay. It was a vial of some kind of liquid, looks very thick and black. I’m not sure what it is, but I appreciate the thought anyways.

    Braeth looks so cute when he’s asleep. I think he’s having a pleasant dream right now. I should go back to bed as well, but I just needed to write down my thoughts.

    there is a small doodle on the bottom of the page. While not very artful, one can clearly make out that it is a picture of two people, an elven male and a human female, embracing each other in a forest full of trees


  • Entry 25 -

    Forgive me if I keep things simple and brief in describing the recent events. I've got quite a headache from my last Fear attack.

    Kanen and Fishel are part of Legion now. Fishel is going to be helping me with the temple. He and I talked for a little while, he found Char's body and gave it to me for a proper burial. We got talking about Jason's god. Rashid overheard me and we invited him and Karli to our table. I've heard of Karli, but never met her. She asked us some tough questions about faith and the gods, specifically on gods giving help, or lack thereof. Quint had joined us, and obviously cares nothing for the gods, as he feels they care nothing for us. Karli's troubled, and I can sympathise with her. Perhaps I can talk one-on-one sometime.

    Quint said something that really pissed me off. He said love was worthless and wasn't something to be bothered with. That comment angered me so much, much more than any of his criticizing of the gods. Love is what kept me alive in the dark days when my mind was gone. Love is what brought me back from that world. Without Braeth’s love, I’d be dead.

    A little halfling girl by the name of Nina came in and told us strange fires broke out at the well. We left to investigate, and sure enough the well was acting strange again. Jore enlisted the help of Legion to keep the townsfolk away from the well for a while, as there was obvious danger. Thing seemed to return to normal, except for magic, as it seemed the town became a Wild Magic zone. Cera got injured from a spell gone wild. Also, she seemed to become blind when near the well, only able to see magic. I think the Wild Magic may have been messing up her connection to that elusive Mojo. Kanen, Coin, myself, and a couple of others took Cera north to the Nars Pass, so that we could heal her. Cera didn’t want to come back to town, but I didn’t want her to wander the Nars Pass where she could get hurt by bandits, and convinced her to return with me.

    Braeth showed up then, and I told him things were going funny around the well again. And it appeared they still were. Strange flashes of magic, earthquakes, spells gone wild… I could feel the Fear trying to take over, and kept it under control for quite a while. But I finally succumbed to the Fear when I was hurt by a spell failure of Garen’s. After I came out of my nightmare world, I decided to get some sleep.

    Vashere is right not to want to sit near that well. The evil is too much.


  • Entry 24 -

    I got to talk to Karion again. Tass, his friend, has been found and raised. He's concerned, though, because the death seems to have affected her. I can completely sympathize with her. I gave him some encouraging words that she should get better in time. Look at me, I was a paranoid lunatic after my death at the well, and now I'm at least mostly normal again. I got to invite Karion to the Elven bonding ritual, and he said he would try to make it.

    I also ran into Vashere and Eledaar. They seemed to have some concerns on their mind, especially Eledaar. I joined them in the inn to hopefully talk about it. Unfortunately, Eledaar didn't want to talk of his concerns that plagued him. I could sense that it was something he was uncomfortable to talk about, so I didn't press the issue.

    Jason Malthor, also of the Legion, joined us. I had gotten to briefly talk to him about his god, Athanatos Farstrider. By his description, Athanatos seems to be very similar to Tyr. Both strive for Justice. Perhaps this is Tyr in another guise?

    Vashere asked me again if I was planning to accept his offer to have the temple built with his outpost. Since it seems that I'm the only one left persuing this goal (Char is dead, Maddoxxx and Alex are missing, and She's…) I decided to take some initiative and accept the offer. I really feel the need to see this temple built, for Charbonneau and for myself. Since the temple will be housed in the Legion's outpost, this will make me a Blade of the organization. This means basically that I'm one of the people in charge. I didn't exactly mean to have joined the Legion, but now that I think about it, I'm comfortable with the idea. They exist to serve the Justice and the greater good. They will need spiritual guidance in this goal.

    Thus, since he had four of his seven Blades gathered (including himself), he decided to hold a council meeting to discuss some matters of important business. The first thing we made a decision on was to focus on member quality over quantity. Initially, they were focused on quantity, since they really did need members. But now that they have a good number, it is the right time to switch to quality. "Tempering our strength," as I put it.

    Second was to decide when to consider members inactive due to absense and when to remove due to extended absense. We each pretty much decided that 3 months of absense would place a member on the inactive list, and after one year removed completely.

    At this point, Jason had to leave us. However, we were soon joined by Pip, Braeth, and a newly recruited member by the name of Naarel. While Naarel wasn't a Blade, the rest were so Vashere decided to continue the council meeting. Naarel was allowed to listen in. We next addressed the one known as Sherk, considering our new policy of quality over quantity. We all felt that this half-orc was too quick to raise his weapon. His rashness could jeapordize a mission. I specifically recalled an incident where Sherk and Braeth came across a bugbear who started to talk in common. Braeth wanted to find out what message the bugbear was going to give, but Sherk immediately killed the creature before he could give it.

    We also tossed back and forth some ideas on how to better our image. Many people have misconceptions of the Legion. I don't think we made any real decisions on what to do other than work on bettering the quality of our members and making ourselves look less like a bunch of mercenaries and more like an organized group like an order of knights.

    After the council meeting, Braeth and I met up with Jade, Wilhelm, and Hugh. I also passed by Cera, who seems to have gotten over her child’s death well enough (much to my relief). Unfortunately, Braeth got called away on militia business. Hugh was bothered by his recent trip to his monestary. It seems that he's been forever banned from it, for he allowed outsiders to witness techniques he learned there. Their loss, I say, for he's a good man.

    As we talked, a shadowy form appeared amongst us. It was shaped like a man in very sinister, spikey armor, but was so pitch black that light did not reflect off it at all. The sudden appearance of it, especially so close to the well, scared me to the bone, and I felt my Fear suddenly rise. I was able to stay together until I tried to chant a protective spell. I chanted the spell perfectly, but I heard no answer from Tyr. The comforting aura of protection did not fill me, just like the healing spell that failed me earlier on the night I died.

    That's when my Fear became absolute and I succumbed to it. Demons again surrounded me, and the lights around the well were very bright. I tried a couple of times to regain control, but when I came close, that Black Shadow appeared again sending me back into my paranoia. Finally, I snapped out of my Fear, awaking to a worried Wilhelm, Jade, and Hugh. They were very worried about me, not understanding what has happened to me. They thought the Shadow had some connection to me, but that was not the case. In fact, the shadow appeared again to me, and as it left, I heard the words, "Not yet my time." It seems the thing was looking for a specific person.

    I quickly gave an explanation to my friends of what happened to me since that awful night at the well. We all decided to all get some sleep. I felt awful though. Again I allowed myself to succumb to my Fear. The advice that Ruri gave me was forgotten about when it hit me. The lack of answer to my prayer chant also bugs me. I feel as if I failed myself. I performed a blessing chant to see if Tyr had forsaken me, but found the blessing of Tyr fill me. I guess I haven't failed Tyr yet, though I feared I did. Perhaps magic is again acting funny around the well...

    As these thoughts swam through my head, Vashere called me over, he wanted to tell me something. We headed to a secluded building. He told asked me if I knew anything about a paladin of Tyr by the name of Killthorn. I told him that I've heard of the man, and that he was a paladin, but I didn't know he followed Tyr and never really met him. Vashere warned me that he felt Killthorn isn't as he says he is. He believes that the man has lied twice to him, and one result of the lying was allowing a probably ally of Vinessa to go free. He also said he doesn’t trust a few of the militia members.

    This all set me on a bit of a depressed mood. This town suffers so much, and it seems that evil lies within in as well as around and under it. A man saw me walk by the well sadly and asked me what was wrong. I told him how it seems this town suffers so. The man, Kelden I think his name was, gave me a few words of encouragement by telling me of how he’s found many helpful people in this town. I’m thankful he took the time to speak to me, as by doing so he reminded me not that I should never give up hope.


  • ((OOC - Last night was NOT a good night computer-wise. I got bugged out of Narfell, and then could not get back in for about an hour because the server was full and my game kept crashing and crashing and crashing and crashing and crashing and crashing. I almost wanted to shoot the computer and put it out of my misery. The sad part is that I’M STILL PAYING FOR THE DAMN THING!!))

    Entry 23 -

    I was hoping that the bonding ceremony would have happened today, but alas things just weren't ready. I tried to invite Karion, but I only got as far as to tell him that we planned to be bonded when he had to leave. Perhaps I should send him a message.

    I also talked with Kanen. He seems well, but is shamed at things he did the other night. I'll admit that I have a vague notion of what happened, but I won't ask for more detail because I feel it has something to do with Her.

    I saw Braeth briefly, he was upset because there was a person who claimed to know where Vinessa's lair is, but would not reveal the location because he does not want to chance having foolish people find out and try to go after her and get killed. Braeth's upset because he feels the man should at least give the information to the militia. I would have liked to spend more time with Braeth, but I had to go attend to something. ((OOC - Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid computer!!!!))

    I also got to see Ruri today. It seems we both were having troubling thoughts. I talked about the night we both died and how it scarred my mind and how the nightmares haunt me. She gave me a good piece of advice on how to handle the Fear, something that never occurred to me before. She said I should accept the fear as part of me. Accept the fact that I'll be scared. All this time I've been trying to ignore the fear and drive away the nightmare images that induce it, but they only get stronger the more I struggle. Perhaps I should try a different approach. I'll try to remember it when the Fear next strikes me. My only question is what do I do when I have accepted the Fear. Even if I accept it, won't I still be a scared little girl? There is another piece to this puzzle I think.

    Ruri mentioned something that indicated that she has something haunting her, but worse than my Fear. She decided to answer my question of what was troubling her, because we've been through terrible times together. What she told me chilled my bones. I won't repeat it here, because it's certainly a secret only she should tell. She has every right to envy me though. The decision she eventually faces is one I would not wish on anybody.

    I did find out who the other person that died with me was, Taren. He also appears completely normal to me, with no phantom demons. That proved my theory about Ruri.

    I also saw Cera today. I'm very worried for her. She mentioned that Sakura still hasn't awaken. I asked to see her, though I already knew what I would see. Little Sakura is dead. Cera clings to her, hoping Mojo will somehow make her wake up. I can't blame her for not wanting to let her go, but I know she will have to eventually. I truly hope that the pain of her child's death does not extinguish her child-like innocence. I must find some way to keep her together through this dark time for her.

    Much suffering in this town. May Tyr give us all the strength to overcome it.


  • _((OOC - Damn, I’ve written a lot in these past few weeks. So far I’ve been keeping up with my goal of posting one entry per game session. Since I play almost everyday, that means that I spend a good amount of my free time writing diary entries. I haven’t written this long and consistently for quite a while. RPing Kara has been a great experience which has inspired me to write these long diary entries. I write because I really do enjoy it, and it helps me to sort out what the character is thinking and feeling. The praise I’ve gotten is great too. I’d say also the XP, but as you can see it’s been a LONG time since Gimley or any other DM has actually awarded me any (I think it’s been almost 3 weeks now).

    I’m a bit stuck on something though. I’m not sure how I want Kara to overcome her Fear. She has been getting a lot of help from Braeth and her friends, but truly, I don’t see their help as the final solution. Right now, her Fear is causing two problems. The first is that when she is confronting the focal point of the Fear (the events at the well, especially Justinia) she is overtaken by the intense fear and runs around like a scared little girl. The second is that her confidence is still pretty shattered, as can be evidenced by the hard time she is having casting spells. The way I see it, she needs to regain that confidence and then confront her Fear head on. Now, how to exactly do that?

    BTW, as of this entry and counting all the OOC comments I’ve made throughout it, I’ve written about 25 pages if you use the default template in MS Word.))_

    Entry 23 -

    I’ve been more relaxed lately. Only because nobody has mentioned Her around me. It felt good not to suddenly go into a fit, although I did almost get overwhelmed once. Just some people talking about the events that happened while I was present, but they understandably stopped the conversation as they saw it bothered me.

    Vashere requested to talk to Braeth, Erugar, myself, and another person who’s name I don’t recall. He wanted to tell us about some things concerning the well. He told of how there used to be an ancient and powerful civilization many, many years ago on the very spot that Narfell is located. These ancients had weapons of great power. There is an evil power under the well, possibly the same power that controls Vinessa. This power is seeking one of the ancient weapons.

    Oddly, Vashere does not know about the events that took place around the well that led to my insanity. If Braeth doesn’t talk to him later about it, I think I’ll have to show him what I wrote in my journal. I know it’d be better to try to tell myself, but I’d rather not recall the memories and temp the Fear to overtake me again.

    In lighter news, Braeth and I did some footwork to get things prepared for the Elven Bonding ritual. We were able to have the local tailor craft us very wonderful outfits from an elven silk. The clothing looks absolutely stunning. The green is so vivid and shimmers different shades as light hits it from various angles. And the cloth feels as light as a feather, and smoother than anything I’ve ever known. We also made a trip south to the Elven encampment so that Braeth could talk to Rethe, the elder. Members of the Legion accompanied us. Rethe promised to get the necessary bracelet for the ceremony, but said he’d be unable to perform it because he does not know how to adapt it to include a human in the bonding. But he did tell us who could find that out, the wizard of Spellweaver Keep. So back to town we returned, and talked to him. I was a bit uncomfortable being in the Keep again, as it is connected to the terrible memories of that awful night, but I was able to remain calm. The wizard was happy to hear of our love for each other and promised to research the proper ritual for us and perform it.

    Unfortunately, only those of Elven blood, and myself of course, are going to be allowed to attend the ceremony. We will also have a human wedding ceremony that everyone will be invited to at a later date though. I know Braeth asked Wilhelm and Erelad to be in attendance, but I think I need to invite Karion, if possible. Karion was one of the first friends I made when I arrived in Norwick, and the fact that he was trying to have me raised when I first died proves that he is a great friend. It would be a shame if he wasn’t invited.

    Oh! More good news. Cera is back in town, and she’s given birth to a wonderful daughter. The little girl’s name is Sakura. Cera told me that after the awful night she went to a city called Sigel. I never heard of the place, but I’m glad that she did find some place to be safe. I told her of how the night had scarred my mind and I went insane. Cera responded that I should not worry, I’ll become as sane as Mojo within time. Now I’m not sure if a talking voice in your head is sane, but to her it is. Heck, I think I’d rather have a voice like Mojo in my head instead of seeing phantom demons on every person…


  • Entry 22 -

    I’m sorry for the abrupt end of the last entry. My demon world clawed at me again. Just thinking about… Her... conjures unbelievable fear in me. I see her in my mind, as a demon... and then the phantom demons overtake reality...as the fear grips me... I can’t shove the demon of Her from my mind like I can with everyone else. Hers is the one demon that was True. Can’t help that I died while trying to reason with Her.

    It shames me how I turn into such a pathetic, crazed fool who’s driven so blindly by fear. Braeth keeps saying it’s not my fault, but it partially is. I let the fear overcome me and now I have to fight to drive it away. It tires me so.

    I was quite surprised when I saw Ruri today. She has no demon image. Braeth has long been the only person I see fully as a normal person without a phantom demon in my mind. This is because he was my one hope that held a shred of sanity when my mind was shattered. But now Ruri doesn’t have one. I couldn’t help but voice my wonder at seeing another face without a demon. I realized I was not making any sense to people who heard me, even Coin. And considering Coin has spent lots of time with Cera, I really must have sounded like a lunatic.

    So I explained to him how I had lost my sanity for a while, and talked about the events that lead to my death, though it was painful to recall them. They conjure the Fear and demons... But I stayed strong enough to ignore the Fear. I had a purpose in trying to recall what happened. I had a feeling that something that happened that night kept my mind from forming a demon image of Ruri. When I got to the part where I died, I immediately realized what it was.

    She died that night as well. I have a vague memory of seeing her on the Fugue plane with me. I’m so glad that I solved that mystery, but now I have two more questions. How can this new revelation be used to help end my torturous Fear? And who was that other person who died? I know there was another with me on the Fugue plane, but I can’t recall the face.

    The next paragraph’s penmanship gets progressively shakier

    Many times today did the Fear overtake my mind. I must be driving Braeth crazy, but he just says some words of encouragement and helps give me strength to return to reality. Most of the times it was because J ink blot because She was mentioned in my presence. But I also ink blot and jagged line So hard to write it, but must. I m ust b e stro ng.

    To day I saw JuSTinIa.

    large inkblot


  • ((OOC - Cera is right. It is fun playing a person who isn’t quite right in the head. ^.^ ))

    Penmanship has improved for the most part. The writing seems only to be rough when writing about something fearful.

    Entry 21 -

    I’ve realized in these past few days how much I truly missed living as a normal person and seeing friendly faces. It’s odd though, returning to having a normal life is like putting on an old shirt. The shirt just doesn’t feel like it fits the same as remembered.

    Braeth and I left the inn today and we headed toward the well. He was suddenly attacked for no apparent reason by a person. He knocked the attacker out, but when the man awoke, he proceeded to attack Braeth again! Braeth was about to arrest the man, but he ran away. Braeth wondered why he did that. I offered that perhaps the man was crazed by fear like I was, but instead of fleeing, he chose to fight.

    I then turned to walk toward the well, as I saw Kanen and Seven there and wanted to speak with them. The lights… they still appear around the well. I just have to keep reminding myself that they aren’t real now. Kanen and Seven were glad to see me, and Kanen even had a few of my belongings that I lost when I was killed... on that... night. Just some of my outfits and my healer’s kit. It was comforting to see the two concerned about me.

    Kanen then asked Seven if she’d like to accompany him to the Nars Pass to fight off some bandits. Braeth asked if he and I could also join them. I think he was wanting me to get into battle to build up my courage again. I just wish he didn’t brag about my healing being helpful. I’m still stumbling on the simplest of prayers and chants. Not wanting to disappoint Braeth, I agreed to go. A halfling swordswoman by the name of Drudd also joined us. She has a rough personality at first, but I think she’s a good person at heart. Definitely very skilled with her sword. The only thing that worries me is that Kanen told me that she’s spoken a few times to... to Vinessa.

    We traveled the Nars Pass, driving off the bandits very easily. I doubt I was much help though. Braeth’s bow seemed to fell bandits before I even realized they were there. Kanen, Seven, and Drudd also seemed to bring bandits to their knees in only one or two blows. I flung as many rocks as I could at some bandits, which I suppose at least distracted a few. At one point I was being attacked by two bandits, and got hit pretty hard, but the others were ready to defend me as I fell back. I tried a couple of times to chant a healing spell, but again, I tripped up on a few words, much to my disappointment.

    Braeth had to leave, and the rest of us returned to town and sat by the well. I told Kanen of how I still see images of demons on top of the real people that I see. He jokingly replied that it was the first time he’s ever been called a demon. “Time will heal your wounds,” he says as he saw my sadness at the situation. But how long? After all, time was what allowed the wounds to dig deep. I appreciate his kindness though.

    People shouted of how Atol was on a ramage through the Nars Pass. He apparently traveled down and killed a person at the mine. Many people gathered at the North Gate to plan a party to drive the chief of the bandits back. I went there to see them off, but I wasn’t going to go. Atol is too powerful a foe for me to handle, especially in my condition. Karion also arrived. He kind of startled me at first though. The helmet he wore made the demon image start to come to life, but as soon as I heard his voice and he removed the helm, the fear subsided.

    I talked with him for a few minutes, telling him of my unfortunate troubles. Then something Kanen said seemed to carry through the many conversations going on and rang out in my head. Suddenly, all I could see around me were demons, and fear was squeezing my heart. The paralyzing nightmare world washed over me for a few minutes, though it felt like an eternity. After reality returned to me, I found myself collapsed on the ground with Karion hovering over me.

    He was very worried about what happened, and I told him how something Kanen said had caused the attack. Karion wasn’t sure what it could have been, and said how Kanen’s been worried about a missing paladin. Something about what he said tugged at me, not just fear but also concern. I have many paladin friends. So I asked him to elaborate. All I can remember of what he next said are the words “sUCcubUs” and “Ju jagged line running across the page


  • ((OOC - Well, I had fun RPing an insane Kara. I’m actually quite flattered that I had search parties looking for me. Of course, as you will see from this latest entry, Kara’s not clear of her problem yet. Oh, and this took too long to write, mostly because I got distracted by The Man in the Iron Mask_, but party because it's huge and full of emotion.))_

    The penmanship of this entry is rough, giving the impression that the author is trying to reacquaint herself with the act of writing.

    Entry 20 -

    It feels strange to be writing again. It’s good, but it feels like years ago when I wrote my last entry. In actuality, only 6 weeks have past since the fateful day that fueled the nightmares that haunted me. They haunt me still, but now I have the strength to fight them.

    In the days that followed the madness at the well, I hid in the woods, fearing for my life. The events of that day terrified me, and the terror seemed even greater after I was raised. The images I witnessed that day sank into my very soul, chilling it. During the day, I had little to eat, surviving on the food rations I carried and berries and fruit I was able to find. Every night, the images replayed themselves in my dreams, tearing at my mind. Progressively, the nightmares got worse, as my fears and deluded mind fueled them with more horrifying images.

    The nightmares… It hurts so much to think about them, the fear is so paralyzing. I must write about them though. It will do me no good to react to the fear by running from it. I’ve done that for far too long, at the expense of my sanity.

    It starts out with me visiting the well in town to see friends. Many friends appear to greet me. I think all show, but it seems I have too many friends to be sure. Braeth never appears though. We all talk, having a good time. As the day becomes night, I notice strange lights appearing around the well. Justinia and I investigate. Though I don’t make the observation in the dream they are the same lights as... as before. Then the earth shakes. I fall down. As I get helped back up, I turn to Justinia and a jagged line streaks across the page Sorry, the image… it’s so strong. I saw Justinia as as as... a demon. She tries to convince me to enter the light. I real back, turn to other friends for help, but another jagged line Demons everywhere. Another tremor, and I feel like I’m falling forever, with demons closing jagged line which turns into a rip

    I’m okay. I needed to stop for a while. Even though I know it to be a dream, it still grips my mind with an icy grasp. Pure fear is all I can feel when I’m conjure them in my head. It is this paralyzing fear that led me to madness. My lack of good food must also have played some part. I started to see the demons while awake. Every noise I heard in the woods would seem like a roar of a demonic beast. Every person, friend or foe, that I happened to see was a demon. The daytime images contributed to the fear, which made the nightmares worse, which made the day worse, etc.

    A viscious cycle that nearly stripped all of my sanity away. I lived on instinct alone for those many weeks. Quite like an animal, really. A timid rabbit. My concerns only were for a place to hide, food to eat, and staying away from the demons. Demons which seemed to be everywhere. I even believed my god had forsaken me. Of that, I feel most ashamed, and I pay for it now. I know my god hasn’t forsaken me, but I can’t help but choke when invoking his name.

    I surely would have been completely lost if it wasn’t for Braeth’s amulet. He was the only one in my dreams that was untouched by the demons, for he wasn’t there. I have great love for him, and he has for me. He gave me that amulet as a way for him to protect me even if he wasn’t there. That amulet, and the love and thoughts that were connected to it, was my small life raft in the chaotic sea of paranoia that I was adrift in.

    If I only had the courage earlier to have sought help, I may not have descended so far into my madness. It’s fortunate, then, that I did finally run out of food. Otherwise, I’d still be cowering in the woods. After I could find no more food, I realized that I would have to return to town to find some. Could you believe that I almost… I almost chose to die, rather return to a town in which I believed was full of demons. And even if I was able to find food and get out, I was still surrounded by demons. Better to die, than continue in my unending hell. Again, Braeth’s amulet saved me, by giving me enough hope that he would one day find me.

    So I returned to town, injured by bandits (to me they were demons), scared out of all my wits, and hungry enough to eat ten horses. I was able to sneak in without much notice, and proceeded to search around the town for some food. Every person I saw, appeared as a demon. The well still had it’s glowing lights in my mind. Some people approached me, wanting either help or greet me. I ran screaming, thinking a demon was going to get me. I hope people aren’t too offended at me calling them demons.

    Then, a voice called out, piercing through all the fear. It was my name, being called by Braeth. He must have heard my screaming. His voice, so full of worry and concern, stopped me in my tracks. Never in my life have I felt so much relief. I threw myself at him, breaking down and crying hysterically. He comforted me and gave me some food. Friends surrounded to make sure I was okay, but to me, they still appeared to be demons, and I’m afraid I acted as such. Braeth decided to take me to his refuge in the woods, where he could take care of me while I relax and get better.

    He fed me, comforted me, and reminded me of who I was. He even used an elven ritual to join our minds so that he could take some of the burden of my fear from me. He also proposed to me. My disappearance shook him deeply, and made him realize how much he loves me. And I slept in his arms, and it was the first peaceful nights sleep I had in a long time. The nightmare did come for me that night, but Braeth was there in my dream to take me away from it. My Braeth, my rescuer, my Love.

    Unfortunately, I’m not fully recovered. Braeth opened my mind back to reality, letting me see people for what they truly are. But the images of demons overlaps. The fear and paranoia is still in me, despite Braeth’s aid to banish it. As long as I try to concentrate on the true images, I can keep the fear away. It was harder to do so when I approached the well, though. In fact, all I could see when looking at the well is the lights. While I can ignore a demon image on, for example, Vashere, I can’t ignore the lights around the well. The lights were very real on that night I died, so the image is stronger.

    I’m not completely cured of this affliction of the mind, but I’ve at least regained much of my former life. I only hope that I’m strong enough to keep the fear away for good.


  • There appears to be some strange marks on this page, nothing resembling letters, but a few of them almost look like they could be. A large blotch of ink covers the bottom of the page.

    ((OOC - Please read the other thread I started, "A Descent into Madness - Kara's Crises" for better details of what is going on. Braeth should now be considered to have this diary in his possession and anything up to this entry can be used as IG knowledge by him.))