The Ethically Questionable Talents of a Purple Hooded Bard

  • DM

    The People of Peltarch by Vaughn

    One calm day I went to see
    What Peltarch had to offer
    I found a place to look around
    For people to fill my coffer

    I saw a white elf, his color was gone
    I wondered where it went
    He said he didn't like my tone
    He seemed to want to vent

    Soon he fell for my bardic charms
    His healing soon began
    And soon my pale friend couldn't help
    But be my biggest fan

    I saw a dark elf with only one arm
    She seemed a tad demure
    She gave coins to a hungry bard
    A lovely lass for sure

    Soon a wild elf had come to play
    He wore colors of brown
    If boredom was a competition
    He would wear the crown

    I saw a girl who claimed to be
    Some sort of guard inspector
    But when I turned around again
    She vanished like a spectre

    Inspector of the force, she said
    Some sort of fancy guard
    She was about as interesting
    As a deck of pure white cards

    I saw a girl from Rashemen
    She said she was a witch
    I saw a girl from Rashemen
    I think that she's a-

    Bubbles, cauldrons, boiling
    Witches are storybook
    Take away all of that
    And you're just a weird cook

  • DM

    Gather round for the tale of Jonni the Brave
    Fought by himself, put undead in the grave.
    Sought out mithral and platinum ore.
    Now his legend begins to soar.

    Jonni the Mithral Miner
    He's handsome and strong and sweet
    Jonni the Mithral Miner
    Beat them all, by himself, ain't that neat