Obeservations of Keerla



  • Written on scraps of paper in messy elven
    It is so strange here, mother was busy so I went to look around, I know she said she would whip me if I wandered off but she is so busy she likely won't notice.

    Mother will beat me. Mother will beat me. Mother will beat me! I missed the boat!

    I have met a few nice people. Elves are not slaves here. I don’t understand, I think they are teasing me.

    Caling…. She is sooo pretty, nice, and when I look at her my chest hurts a little. She gave me pretty clothing, no one has ever given me pretty clothing. She also said she would buy me from mother. I am not very pretty so I will be cheap! I am hers now so I have someone too keep me safe and take care of me.

    I met a Hin. He gave me MARSHMALLOWS! They are soooooo good, they are chewy and like sweet berries but not berries. Mmmmm. He also gave me a …cigarette. I coughed and felt really sick, I through it in the fire it was bad but I waited for him to leave so I would not get punished.

    I am no longer looking for mother. If Caling does not have to pay for me maybe she will like me more. I am going to stick close to her…. For safety reason and because I belong to her.



  • Hi journal it has been a bit and lots of different things have happened. I missed the dance, well the real dance because I was passed out bleeding by a stream but more on that later. I would be damned if I was to miss my chance to dance with someone for the first time though so I called in a rescue and I got to dance with someone I really cared about. It was wonderful, there may have been no music, I may be a terrible dancer and the staff may have given me dirty looks for making it harder for them to clean up but I would not change a thing about it. In Keerla's mind, it was a fitting tribute to her life.

    They are both gone, even the patches of skin that were roughly healing are flawless like they never existed in the first place. Kathea is a skilled healer and can be very persuasive when she wants to be, Keerla can attest to that. They did though and I kept the skin I flayed off as a reminder of my past, no longer on my body but a memory none the less.

    Finally … Fireflies. Gang or Mercenary company. Need talk with Jenn.



  • Emperor, World and Moon. Keerla’s past, present and future on three little cards. It is weird to think everything Keerla is being compressed into little cards. Emperor for her past as a slave, she lived only at the whim of a master, someone who controlled her completely. The World for her present. Living her dreams. She dreamed of being free and now she is but no matter how much she is getting what Keerla wanted, there is lots of anxiety and sad in her life. To always want and then to get what Keerla wanted leaves her in unfamiliar territory. She needs to think more so she can keep the things she wants. Finally the Moon. Is keerla really holding herself back by following Sune? Keerla hope not since she like Sune. Though Keerla not priest so no reason not have couple Goddess right? Hmm need to talk to Caling more she has all the answers and sometimes they are even right.



  • She kill the fire priest and draw pretty snowflake on his forehead, left him on his own alter. It was fitting to Keerla the evil fire priest end up on ice. Then at the end of adventure she asked me “We good?” Keerla say “sure” no idea why we not be good.



  • Keerla back. Keerla not good enough for so many things and so many people. At least have Caling and Ting as teachers.



  • Several Journals in one.
    Written in common, the printing is neat but the grammar and spelling are still poor
    Keerla woke up on a surprisingly comfortable boulder at Inn Aoth and Lae took her too a couple of days ago and she been thinking ever since. It was after the big fight with the demons and Aoth seemed so happy. The night foggy for Keerla, she drink too much wine. She remembers talking and playful teasing, it was a good night and made Keerla happy. Keerla had a dream on the comfy rock. There was a great white bear sitting before Keerla, a giant cat lay before it and a owl and falcon sat on it shoulders and Keerla was feeding it honey while a Large panther bit it's neck. Keerla wished she knew what that means.

    Written quickly in common
    It was a big fight! Dozens of Orcs poured from the woods! There were Mages, warriors and Archers! Keerla killed a bunch big scary orcs with arrows! Stick figure with bow and a pile of stick figures with tusks decorate the page I even got close in and stabbed some as well though Uncle Raryldor told me to be more careful and he was right. It was a good fight, Keerla was glad to be there.

    written in her oddly elegant Mulhorandi script
    The time was right and it was breathtaking. She asked what I wanted, I told her the truth like I said I would. I wanted to kiss her and her to kiss me. It was likely nothing I had ever experienced before, to feel so close to someone to become one in a kiss for a brief moment. I am not entirely sure why she kissed me, I wonder if it was because she wanted to or because I asked and she found it amusing to concede. She can be so cold and distant and seems quick to dismiss me if I say something she does not want to hear. Though she at the same time she is so kind to me I feel like my heart will burst. I need to talk to her I think. I will try to get her to explain what this means, though I noticed she tends to answer questions with questions so we will see. Bye for now Journal.



  • Ok Journal Keerla have thoughts and free time so she will write them down. How does one know when time is right for anything, everyone says Keerla will know, but she has no idea? Also how does someone who needs rescue let the person she want rescue them know? Oh well Keerla figure that out when time comes, maybe train bird or something to tell that person. I met two really pretty birds today a Parrot and Raven, and I got to feed them it was amazing.
    The next part of the journal is written in Mulhorandi script and reading it you would think someone other than Keerla due to the conhency
    After this my friend Aoth took me too Eldath shine to teach me how to swim, I enjoyed it more than I can easily express in common, it was as if I was flying. I had difficulties at first staying about water as my natural buoyancy seems to be poor. but Aoth helped me stay about the water after I sank to the bottom a couple of times though I may have done it once on purpose to see how she would react.. I won't lie and say her hands on my sides did not make me happy. After some practice, I was able to do it by myself. I felt incredible! I am sure I have lots more to learn but just keeping my head above the water was a victory.
    Than Aoth did something amazing, she became the water itself, I am not sure how to explain it. She drove below the surface and then before my eyes became transparent and disappeared. I had time to take a deep breath before she was all around me, spinning and twirling me, pulling me from the safety of the shallows into the icy waters beyond. I should of been terrified, being pulling above a yawning void like that nothing below me by darkening icy water, but I wasn’t. I was filled with to many other emotions to even remember fear. Wonder was the most powerful, both at the experience and that Aoth could become the water itself. I also felt safe wrapped like I was by her, I am not sure she understood what it was like for me to feel so close to someone like that, intimacy in a way I do not completely understand.
    Even when she left me, hanging alone above the depth formless and tiny, I was not afraid because I knew in my heart she would come back. I was right of course, for if I was wrong I would not be here writing this. Her presence engulfed me a second time and I was flung into the cool air laughing, she did this several times before returning to the shore with me. The warm shallow waters driving off the chill. I got a fright then for it was the first time Aoth had become water and she managed to fill her now very human lungs with water. I help her to shore and she managed to cough up the water in lungs and heal herself. After that, the lesson ended and we left. I am glad she honored me with that experience though. Perhaps one day I will have the words to thank her.



  • Ok lots of thoughts and only a little time because Keerla in class. Shhh don’t tell Lacey she will get mad and give Keerla that spanking she been talking about. Keerla really happy for some reason even if some sad making things happened more happy making things happened, so scales balanced to happy. Keerla learning not everyone honest always, it is hard lesson but one she need learn. Keerla also get go on important mission. Keerla had just eaten cake in Norwick and was running back to Paltrach, when she ran into Bone Lady, she was reading. Then a entire herd… swarm… flock… flock of adventures came a long and we went on a big adventure! They fought four Balors! Keerla guarded the rear like a master rear guarder!



  • Keerla is now Sword Neophyte, I following Caling into the Knights Requietum. I am going to get to do heroic things and helping people! I have to tithes to Caling since squires have to give twenty-five percent of earnings, it is expensive being a squire but if Keerla gets help people it worth it. Keerla saving up to buy a flaming sword and lighting ax! She will look so majestic!

    Keerla still gots lots to learn. Did you know babies come from Druid’s Beards! Keerla though they come from ladies, Marklyn set her straight. Also Keerla apparently really good at brushing hair. Hedia wanted to give her a bag of money but Keerla does it for free because she likes making people purr. Keerla really like cats she thinks, maybe see if can find cat friend rather than spider friend.



  • This journal seems to be broken into two parts taking place a while apart:
    Written in her usual chipper script
    A Gift from Lae I wanted to squeal and hug her but I didn’t I am not going to be a silly girl in front of her. I was going to thank her later but I got distracted. I had something for Tindra to help her with hiding and I wanted to give her the armour to help her out. I am going to go find Lae and thank her for the armour.

    this is scrawled shaking script, dark drops mar some of the words and bloody fingerprints seemed mar the edge of the page where Keerla steadied the page

    Keerla not remember how long she in swamp killing things. I fought big lizards, little lizards, balls of light, rats and snakes. Keerla kill and kill and kill but she is still not strong still… still disgusting. * dark smear of blood covers the next section of writing.* ika and Aksel where right love is a trap or a weakness. Keerla will not try find love.



  • Keerla is happy, I may not have everything I want but I have a family of sorts and real friends. Things Keerla never had before. Andor is like an older brother and I think I care for him, what was the statement Rarydlor used? Familial love, that it. He is like the big brother I never had, I trust him completely, and hope he will be my big brother forever. Same with Caling a big sister who is teaching Keerla to be a knight so she can protect herself and others. Kathea is like a sister too or a mother Keerla does not know what it is like to have a mother so she does not know. Aksel is a brother too, he helps me when I say things wrong and goes out and fights monsters with Keerla. Finally, I have grumpy grandfather Raryldor, Keerla knows he means well if nothing else. I never had a family before and I am glad I found one even if they are all weird but Keerla is ok with that.

    Keerla also has friends! I think at least. She has Tiffany, she gives the best hugs. Thau and Thyr two elves who take Keerla on adventures. Tindra a friendly elf that reminds Keerla of the cats back on the estate, not sure why though. I like when she purrs so I scratch her behind the ears, she seems to like the scratches which makes Keerla happy since cats give the best snuggles. I wonder if she would snuggle Keerla? Aoth confuses Keerla. She is kind but also distant and then kind again, it reminds Keerla of her old master but without the violence. I guess that makes sense as she used to keep slaves but she stopped, which is good. Verika, Keerla does not understand, she is sooooooooooo grumpy but she is so nice too, mostly in small ways that lots of people would not notice. Then there is Lae. She is scary and I am glad most of the time she is my friend though to be honest sometimes I wonder if she is Keerla’s friend or if Keerla is just making up a narrative in her head. Blah now Keerla grumpy. I am going hunting Bye Journal.



  • So close! Oh well, maybe next time. I still think maybe she is too scary and mean, but she can be so kind too which confuses me. Hmmm, I will see Sune will give me guidance or I will ask Kathea when she is in a better mood and not looking for a fight with Raryldor. I think they should just kiss and make up, though the thought of them kissing makes me really giggly.

    I am glad Sune is okay with her knights fighting because more and more I love being in battle. The thrill of the steel striking flesh, the beauty of an arrow in flight and the passion that burns in my heart as I charge into combat. I have been making lots of friends well hunting and I am going all over and under the land. Not that long ago I spent two and a half days underground, it made me feel funny like the world was closing in near the end and I charged out through the fish-people. I was never so happy to see the sky as I was at the end of that trip.



  • I am valued by Sune, I think, I am not sure but whoever it was wrapped me in their divine fire and brought me back from death. The gods don’t make sense to me, Mother told me I was damned for being an elf and told me when I died my soul would go to her goddess to be punished for eternity. To say the least that gave me a jaded view of them. Since I have arrived that has changed Caling has opened my eyes to the wonder of a kind Goddess. I am learning about beauty, passion, and love, I am beautiful I see that now. Like the book said ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ and I behold myself as beautiful.



  • Entry 2
    She was scary, well at least until she tickled me. Then she was less scary. But she is still blond like mother was and she still speaks like the humans for Thay. A human god healed me through her, maybe human gods aren’t all bad. Caling talked about Sune, she sounded nice too I will ask Caling about her.

    The silver elf confuses me. Tears and blood? Wings? I am not made of tears nor do I have wings, he confuses and scares me. I won't let him hurt Caling. If I am not bought how do I have worth or value? I do not know.

    My new little sister though was very nice, she will read my future, I am not sure what it will be though.

    Writing is shaky and dark spots are on this page Lae, I do not know what I did wrong. I am learning common as fast as I can. I don’t want you to hurt me and I don’t know why you said you would. You scared me, I am weak, I am sorry I am weak it is my fault you got mad just like when mother got mad. Caling would never hurt me, she is a paladin and they are good and will keep me safe. I am not her pet, I am her Elf and you and others said elves are not pets.

    Miss Kathea is beautiful and kind. I wonder what she wants to teach me. She showed me Sunes temple and wants to talk to Caling about me. She did not tell me what she wanted to talk with her about but she talked to the priestess in the Sune temple and I can sleep there when I can’t find Caling.

    I don’t understand all the things people are telling me,, there's so much I do not understand and I don’t like it. I will try harder to be a better person and show everyone I can be a good elf!