3. Gildor - done.

Gildor - done.


  • Entery 1 - The Hold

    It is good seeing Linah as her normal self. We strolled down to the icelace beach and sat, enjoying the sunshine and giggling like a pair of teenagers. Each experience that she encounter I think leaves a small mark in her eyes, I can see it in her face, when her golden-brown looked out across the horizon, there is an age there that has nothing to do with her physically appearance, but spiritual, it is odd when I witness that in humans it tend to be an elven concept. You look young, but still that glint of all the years that passed before your eyes reflect in the colour. Linah looked tired to me, exhausted, and yet she clings on to the fire as if she is frightened that she will die sick in her bed, wrinkled and old. She will never see old age I think, but I doubt she really wish to.

    She was complaining about how her old longbow had become heavy and too large to drag about, how she desired a lighter weapon now that she had finished her "training". I could see she desired a distraction, something to remind her of the old, the old Linah and the old days. I asked how long since she had visited Ugog, and I didn't exactly have to convince her, before we were on our way to Norwick.

    We grabbed a Barbarian fresh to the country, that we forgot asking the name of, and some hideously annoying bard called Nate. Kara and some elf called Elvin tagged along also, but I accidentally called Elvin an idiot and he abounded us half way in to the cave.

    It feels right being trapping again, that feel of stealthing about in the darkness searching for trip wires and triggers, and hoping that no creature hears as you disables the wiring. Between Linah and I we could find just about ever trap hidden, and its fascinating watching her work. I learn alot watching other rogues trapping, and it is a deadly art which many seem to not appreciate, knowing what wire to trigger, and what wire to cut.

    The trip was quite straight forward, go in to cave, remove traps, kill everything, kill Goblin King, steal his bow, get out.

    We were fairly successful with the exception of the Barbarian falling dead once, causing us to use a pretty expensive resurrection scroll that could have been sold for a few thousand. He better not be vanishing anytime soon.

    I remember sitting at the inn, splitting our reward and thinking…

    This is one of the things truly miss, adventuring, crawling through misty dungeons and experiences things with "friends".

    When you sit in some filthy hallway, while your "comrade" is patching up his armour, and your sharing some bread over a fire, you know that you are living. And when you stand there, with bodies of creatures piles up to your knees, bathed in blood, laughing because your alive, the adrenaline pumping through your wains, your hand moving fasting than you mind can think and you realize all is done more on instinct, that is when you find yourself, going home to your warm bed, and collapsing with every muscle aching, and murmuring the need for a bath before passing out, and you rest so deeply that no nightmare penetrates your mind, it is living.

    It is what the meaning of life is, it is living.


  • Entry 6 - THE WAKE(ing of demons)

    It felt ackward traveling toward Jiyyd to do the "Wake". An empty feeling in my chest, as if I was about to take farewell to a love waiting to cross some might ocean. I can't begin to describe how many lovers I have said farewell to over the years, and how many friends I have buried. I am immortal, and elf living a human life, and try as I might, I don't seem to fully die. Heh, perhaps Otik was right in his many drunken ramblings

    "ya like one of em.. bugs Gilly" he said once "nah don' ya take it tha wrung way or anythin'.. a mean tha tha nic est way pussleble" "I am a creep eh, don' worry mate, your not the first to say that" Otik laughed and rolled off the table like a ale barrel "Nah, dun.. dun mean it like tha lass.. I mean.. like.. ya know, a 'ouse burn down an' shite.. an' there be war and shite and… shite... and only thang left right.. is tha bugs.. they sort of survive and shite.. I mean, your a surviver.. you'll find a 'ole tha creep in an' ... an'..." and he fell asleep at that point, but I couldn't help but smile at him.

    Heh, I suppose the cockroaches and worms and I have certain things in common. I don't quite know why my life is like it is, I want to live, and yet I want to "LIVE" and experience life, if such is possible. Mankind so easily break, depression, frustration, giving up on ever discovering their dreams. I have so much time, I take each failur as the opportunity to move in a separate direction, and this has been my life. When the going gets hard, I get going... the other way, and never look back.

    I loved Uthger, but I needed to say good bye and this was my chance to do so. I didn't know if many other would turn up, but arriving at the windy planes I with the help of three featherlights built a large fire, large enough to burn a man, a barbarian. Symbolic perhaps, I didn't think of at the time but now, I find the thought strangely fitting and yet slightly disturbing.

    As we stood there, a good twenty of us, I could have spoken of how heroic and honorable he was, how great a fighter he had been and how all had looked upon him with a hint of admiration of the powers he possessed in combat. But instead I stuttered unlike myself, and got all emotionally, rambling about my love for him, and how I wish I had accepted him as a lover, simply to know what it would have been like, if only for a few monthes of his life.

    Once done, I let the person beside me talk, people ackwardly tried to tell their memories, and all seemed compelled to be honest. More people joined and soon we were a large circle around the bonfire that was stretching in to the night sky.

    But we were not alone, a woman was watching us in the dark, finding our strange ritual, most amusing.

    (...more)


  • Entry 5 - Slaad, driad and drows (oh my)

    Slaad are defiantly my favorite creature.

    How can anything compete with a giant chaotic frog in rainbow colours with fleshy teeth and claws, that can pregnant you upon touch. I have a basic understanding of what is summoning these planar creatures, but I simply do not care enough to involve myself in the investigation. It is a shame killing them but I have begun to collect their tongues, and seeing how they are not exactly creature who are prepared to communicate and discuss matters over tea, cutting their tongues out seem like a fitting second option.

    I was strolling out of Norwick, after casually insulting a few lesbians in passing, when I came upon Grag running across the Nars as if his feet was on fire. We killed a couple Slaadi and I was sent to scout out. We stumbled upon a few flying, mephits or imps, fakk I know the difference, one kind was nipping at Grag's remaining hair.

    There is nothing more I hate than people who ignore the people they travel with. For a party of adventurers to fully survive they don't particularly need a good leader but they need communication, trust and a feel of safety. If there is an understanding of everybody role, nobody should really die if they do the job right. I am not a warrior, a healer, a magic caster. I can probably do a bit of all, but my duty is to scout ahead of the party, or stand behind the most powerful fighter and offer support in the form of rapid arrows to the weaker parts of the enemies body. It is neither heroic nor is it exceptionally impressive, but it is effective and if it is a good day I can easy kill just about any creature faster than any warrior. I wear leather, but I am also so quick on my feet that at times I find the enemy having a harder time striking me than the man in plate. But still I don't try to stand in the front. The warrior in plate with the axe, makes the party feel safer than I would, even if I would be a more effective fighter.

    I hate Circini, she has no concept of battling in a group. We followed these winged demonic critters to the entrance of the old caved in cave in the Nars, and as the party waited outside I snuck in to the dark to see what awaited us. It was pitch black, and I could hear movement behind the large bolders, and glints of some glowing eyes. I snuck closer when then, I heard a bang, and came that little hin trotting in loud as a dog tied to twenty pots and pants and charging the first creature. Wolf beasts appeared and charged her, and she battled them madly while I contemplated firing an arrow. Problem is I would not be able to convince the party that the arrow stuck between that little bitches shoulder plates were from the wolves, so instead I watched rather angred as she killed them.

    Not having appeared outside for a long time, the party joined us in the cave, and we could hear noises deep within the darkness beyond where the rubble blocked our entrance. A hint of light broke through the mud and the rock and so I suggested to Grag that I could try and squeeze my body through the gap and have a look. This was agreed, but Circini again not having listened to anything we had been saying, stood blocking my way.

    I began to climb up on the first rock, when an explosion was heard, then another, and another..

    The sight that met us had me stumbling down, and backing away in fright. It wasn't quite human, it wasn't quite spider, it was some horrific morph of the two. Its torso arms and head, was distorted but looked recognizably humanoid. Its body with its spindly six legs, was defiantly a spider. It crawled toward us, taking us all by suprise as we glared at it amazed. Circini charged it ofcourse, and so we were forced to follow.

    We stood towering over its dead body, I couldn't quite belive my eyes to be honest, I don't like spiders, and this.. this was just… undescribable.

    We began to crawl deep within the now clear cave, and met more. They chard us, and Grag cut them deftly in two. I found that aiming at the sack on their back, caused immense pain to the point they tensed enough for Grag to quickly slice their head off. There creatures had trappers clearly and as we moved along the path I caught sight of the trip wire. Not exactly exceptional traps, so instead of destroying them I harvested them to later use. Circini seemed to have not heard that there was traps here, nor that I was trapping and because she wanted to "protect me" as she later said, she trotted ahead and triggered a few.

    That halfling is one of the biggest idiots I have ever met. I was so furious, getting poisoned by the gass released by that little bitch who could easily kill me before she get the chance to "protect" me. Deeper and deeper we crawled in to depth of the cave until we all hear noises ahead. Telling Circini ten times in a row to "wait here" I crawled ahead along the wall, I moved all the way through the darkness until encountered a trapped double door.

    I examined then when behind me I heard the crunching of sand under feet, and I turned to see somebody black, slipping in to the dark. Hiding as he tried, the drow was not invisible to my eyes, and nervously, pretending I had not seen him I made my way back. Telling Grag of the sight, Circini turned herself invisible and went to scout down that very road I had just scouted. She is amazing, how much stupidity exist in that pea brain of that halfling. She must have triggered the trap on the door as well, for later I saw it gone. On her way back I noticed she had with her a friend, who she ofcourse had been able to spit. The drow was stealthing behind her. I called out to him, and asked what he wanted, none saw him but me and he didn't reply. In the end he backed off and vanished.

    I could have killed Circini, but the trouble isn't worth, even seeing her neck snapped.

    She is.. such an idiot.

    Now we knew they were waiting for us, and we moved up to the gate, I lay down some traps and snuck in to see how many was there. There was six of those spider creatures, and some looked destructively different. There was a woman, and a man with a red spider sack, thingy. Grag tried to lure them out toward the traps, but they were too clever, the woman was taunting him, and in the end we decided upon charging them.

    While we faught I caught Cicini once or twice searching through their belonging while we were still battling.

    Soon they all lay dead and we strolled out in the the open air, Circini was angry that I pointed out her behavior. She bitched at me for a bit and then we went on our way..

    I suppose I could have written it better, but here it is on paper for the future..

    Circini is such an idiot, by choice I never want to be in a party with her, she does not know how to fight in a group, she risk everybody life, and she is such a grabby little bitch.


  • Entry 4 - Uthger

    I think I loved Uthger.

    I am sad to hear he has left the land for good, and somehow, though everybody seem to act as if he has just gone off on a holiday, I know he is dead.

    Maya was right about his fire being dead, and somewhere between Narfell and what ever shore he is heading, I think he will find a place to lie himself down. I have this image of him in my head. Surrounded by giants battling his way through, and cutting them down one at a one, until they are piled so high that he can no longer move. And then as the smoke of the battle stills, they will find him, buried under the hill of bodies with a grin on his face.

    I am getting sentimental, but that is how I want to remember him. Grinning, or perhaps more smirking with that old rusty axe resting on his shoulder. He was one ugly bastard, but I think I genuinely cared about him.

    One regret I will have, is that I never got to be his lover. I think I did right to refuse being his wife, but I would have liked to have lived with him for a while. At least I will always have one "private" memory of him, and this ring.

    Fakk knows why I am suddenly getting all sentimental, I should stop writing at such late hours.


  • Entry 3 - Need

    I miss comfort.

    I has been over a year since Arar set off to defeat the Drow population and since then I have heard many rumors that he has died. Parts of me fears his return for reasons I am not prepared to write about at this time, in case this book falls in to the wrong hands. I have nobody I can confide in and nobody I truly trust. I enjoy my tea sessions with Attentus and I tell him more than I should, but I have no doubt that if anything I said would be of intrest to him he would not hesitate to use it against me. I thought I could trust Zyphlin but as early as last week he betrayed my confidence, for the last time.

    Before Arar left I rarely saw him, he was prepareing for his departure and except for a casual visit now and then I barly heard a word nor spoke with him. I do not know why I allow this relationship, I would be better of with a dozen different men, as a lover that I never meet is not exactly much of a lover. Truth is, I love him, and is so infatuated that I can't bring myself to calm my old aged elven heart when I see or is near him. I would betray any man if I was to leave Arar, for each time he approach me, I long to touch him, I tried to ignore it while I was with Zyphlin but it was just a matter of time. Problem is that once he is gone, my love grows cold and I ask myself why I allow to be in such a situation.

    He writes me pretty words of love and gives me presents in form of gold rings and necklaces, and yet he hardly visits. Now he is missing and presumed dead, and though I know deep inside this is a false rumors, I would rather know a yes or no, so that I can move on with my life, instead of walk around, month after month, waiting for a possible dead lover.

    I miss being touched, being kissed, to lie in a mans arms and being stroked. I missed laughter, and comfort and for a moment being able to escape with another.

    I don't know what to do.


  • Entry 2 - gelatinous cubes

    The Lucky Ferret is the distraction in my life. I don't need the gold I get from working there, but I enjoy it for the simple fact of what it is. A job that has no risks or stress connected with it. It is an odd relief walking in to the Ferret knowing that the worst trouble I will have for the evening is some drunken dwarf that has slipped in his own sick and refuses to leave.

    Anah the waitress approached me as I was stacking dirty glasses and tankard on to the counter and mentioned the fact that a few dwarves was going hysterical over that our Ale supplies had run out. I told her to serve them watered out beer, claiming it was Ale, as the drunken state they were in they had no way to tell the difference, and get a worker to go down to carry up another keg. Apparently a bouncer had already gone in to the basement but not returned yet. I assumed he had taken to sampling the liqueur and looked about for somebody to help me with the lifting. The other workers were either cleaning up sick or holding drunken dwarves down, so I approached a nearby customer in striking red armour called Vashere, told him he had voulenteerd himself to be my mule, and a bit confused he tagged along in to the Wine-celler.

    I don't quite know how to describe what approached us. It was large, green and slithered toward us as wall of snot. Slime trailed after it, and within its transparent shape, I could see the digested remains of "Tusk" my newest bouncer. I gave my red knight a shove and he heroically begun to slash at it with his blade as I begun to dig in to it in the manner of somebody trying to carve jelly with a spoon. It worked for it lost its firmness and slowly as we got nearer to its acid center, fluid spilled out upon the floor and "IT" died.

    Moving in to the cell I found "Tusk's" bones and what I believe had once been a fleshy foot. I was taken back by the stench, and my eyes sifted up to the rafters where I found three more, one was a waitress that had vanished three weeks before without notice and I had been most cross with at not showing up at work. She were stuck against some slimy surface that stretched across the rafters and was dripping down on to the floor causing hideous green puddles. As I stood there a fully digested bones fell ontop of me and shattered on the stony floor, a dwarven scull bouncing across the rocky ground.

    I tried to back against the far wall just to watch the bubbling green puddle rise in to life and towering up above me as a transparent wall of digestive slime. More grew around me at all side until I found myself cornered. It lashed out and spit acid that burned the woodwork, and nearly hit me, as I hastily ducked and tumbled away from its burning liquid. I pierced what I would called its "stomach" if such a creature possible have anything defined as such, and with the use of ever acrobatic move I possessed I carved my way through the collection of slithering jellies until each was nothing put a bobbling puddle of acid flooding the cellar floor.

    Exhausted and partly digested I begun to argue about Vasher regarding the correct procedure. He thought it best to burn them as one do with "Trolls" except these were not Trolls and made of liquid that if anything, would destroy my magical torch on impact.

    Darkness feel within the cellar and an invisible man made his appearance. What I next experienced I can't really write about, but I can tell of a most horrific piece of news. As I was standing there scraping the last jelly off the floor, a bright red light filled the small chamber and a portal grew out from the ground. A creature, with a squid for a head, peered upon us with beady black eyes, its tentacle mouth flickering in our direction.

    "Arar is dead, the mission failed"

    he said, and vanished. Arar is my love, my fiancee and the father of my child, I know I should cry, but parts of me refuses to believe the abomination that was that "Mindflayer". It is trickery, magic that messes with ones minds, even subtly like this. He dropped a book that I should have known wasn't real, and for a moment I broke down in terror and hysteria of what I held in my hands.

    I would have killed those there if they had attempted to take the book from my grasp.

    But it was simply an illusion.

    Those words I have spoken before "It is simply an illusion" they make my stomach turn with disgust, and I praise the day I no long have to say them.

    The jellies however was not, and now I must hire cleaners to get the stench out of my wine cellar.