The songs of Vera C. Tingle
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After a rather successful run-in with spiders in the gypsy pass, Vera stops by Sam's hole, and overlooking the water, begins to write…
1. The Spider Song
Once in a rainy day,
Three gnomes went away.
The Gypsy Pass was their goal,
Their eyes set on findin' more than just coal.The folks were merry and the journey was nice,
They even danced a bit to help break the ice!
But then the chirping began,
And, Oh, how they ran!You think now, "how coward can they be?"
But you judge too fast, listen to me!
For they ran indeed, but into the enemy,
Facing the legs and the webs and their frenzy.With Spell and Song the foe was subdued!
With dagger and crossbow, victory assured!
With Might and Valor, gnomes prevailed!
With Courage and Strength, spiders failed!Hear my tale and be amazed my friend,
Gnomes saw their adventure to the end!
Odd spiders and hatchlings stood in their way,
But Jimmeh burned their carcass away!Hear my tale and be amazed my friend,
Gnomes saw their adventure to the end!
Silkstrand or forest, it was all the same,
Cronzy slays all of 'em, remember his name!Hear my tale and be amazed my friend,
Gnomes saw their adventure, right to the end!
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- King George's Eulogy
You started at the Bottleneck
Such humble beginnings,
You ruled cleanly, not even a speck
King George the First, Man of Good FeelingsCharming and gracious, an example to all
Benevolent and generous, always on call!
He cared for the poor and downtrodden,
Made sure their lives would never be rotten!King George the First, descendant of the Hero
May he rest now with his goddess,
Siamorphe, who watches, his worries are zero!We will always remember
Our great king with fondness
May he watch over Thalamran
And keep him from dangers!
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This song began circulating through Peltarch, though none know exactly who wrote it or how it started its spread
10. Ode to a Wannabe Queen
The day that gave Elisa birth,
In a shack covered in filth.Eternal source of flies & grime
With double stench thy armpits display
And with distinguish'd sweaty shine
To add some nausea to this dayThe day that gave Elisa birth,
In a shack covered in filth.Let all the demons race with joy,
Their wonted homage sickly pay,
Whilst towering in the darkened sky
They celebrate this accursed day,The day that gave Elisa birth,
In a shack covered in filth.Let flocks and herds their lives forget
Lions and wolves refuse their prey
And all in disgusted consort meet
Made nauseated by this rancid day.The day that gave great Elisa birth
In a shack covered in filth.Let roving mercenaries their gladness show
With rough pushes whilst they play
And in their wild meanders flow
Rejoicing in her renowned cave.The day that gave Elisa birth
In a shack covered in filth.Kind Sharess descends on downy wings
Dock workers conduct her on the way.
T'our glorious Whoregarth new life she'd bring
But her belly can't swell with all the use to this day.The day that gave great Elisa birth
In a shack covered in filth.Let shame then conceal her head
And blasted faction glide away.
No more her hissing tongues we'll dread
Secure in this auspicious day.
The day we saw Elisa Whoregarth go away.
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9. The Wolf Dragon
The story I'm about to tell
Happened in Peltarch, how swell!Folks were sitting 'round
(Like they always do.)
But today they found
Something entirely new!There was a pale guy,
His hair was white,
Shining snow in the light.Some thought he was a vampire,
But Ras knew the truth.
And 'til they reached the 'spire,
It all remained uncouth.Once there, trouble began,
As the ogres and deaders
decided to spread.Giant skellies and zogres,
They never stood a chance
The warriors won, unharmed!
Except for poor Sigrid,
Who lost her stance.Salin and Ras rushed to her aid,
But Sigrub didn't like it,
And spat on Ras instead!At the necromancer's lair,
The intrepid heroes chose to lay a trap.
Salin was the bait,
while the heroes lay in wait.The mysterious man
Pushed Salin off the cliff,
He got hurt but not too bad,
Plus, it would all be over in a jiff.The evil giant came from the cave
Salin went poof, the heroes saved the day!
The giant slain, the man felt hungry.
So he asked them all: Anyone gonna eat that?Everybody got stumped,
As the man turned.
A beast, a Dragon!
Devoured the carcass in a second!Omnom Omnom,
And the giant was gone!Omnom, Omnom,
And the giant was gone!After all was done,
Ras came clean.
Ky was his buddy,
And he wasn't really mean!He asked the heroes to slay the undead
But Sigrid didn't wanna.
Ky tried to fight.
And things looked bad.
But Nica went diplomat,
And we got peace that night!After all was said and done,
some guy asked for a hug.
The dragon complied,
And he'll never ask another,
That's for sure!
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Romulus applauds!!! "Now that's a proper bard!"
Login: AubreyMaturin
Characters: Romulus Grey, "What a day it's been. Nobody has killed us yet, so far as we can tell!"
Shesarai Foutopolis: "I know, I always try to be perfect and say the right thing. I"m sorry! I'll try to do better next time."
Trotter: "Uh….I hide real good."
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8. The Windride!
It was the day of Shaundakul,
The god of the Winds and Travel,
When from the skies, lands an Avariel,
And I just knew this'd be cool!Windrider Willow turned into Wind
And to the South they all went,
Far to the forests of Lethyr,
Land of beatutiful nymphs and hot Satyrs!Aerr was there, mighty bow in tow,
And also a white helmety dude.
He passed out with the ale,
but he did what he could!Once there, a Nymph asked for help,
She was really pretty, with wavey wavey hair,
A single look at elfie Hen as she was done,
Fallen for the fey, that game wasn't fair!The power of love is really strong,
And Hen from the shackles of fear had sprung!
Straight into the enemy, you could hear her roar
As the elf went to fight that minotaur!The evil bulls were cutting her tree,
A Nymph needs a home, just like you and me,
Just like that, the heroes follow suit,
To give the mean bullies the boot!Lainie looked to a weird rocky mesh,
And got turned into stone,
Through some magic unknown,
But after a while, she got back in the flesh!Aerr shot some arrows, they burn,
Gnarl swung his axe, the bulls won't return.
It was time to go back, but I spoke too soon.
Look, over there, Rainbow Spirits of DOOM!With all their might, the Heroes did fight!
Danger and evil stood in their way,
But they couldn't give in to the fright,
They had to save the lovely fey!They fought and they fought,
They fought and they won!
'Twas time to leave,
Time to windride back home,
They all saw them flying,
Flying high like the sun!
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7. Orcs and Porks
A guy ran to the commons,
He requested assistance.
Answering the summons,
We gave no resistance.He told us his problem,
And we jumped right to action!
His loving wife snatched from them,
A victim of Orcish abduction!To the Giantspire we went,
And how many we were!
No shiny guys like that mysterious Kent,
But we'd still win the day, that's for sure!A big pigface was there,
big as I've ever seen,
He started hitting everybody,
Who knew it was so mean?Willow called her Buddy,
And He sent her some thunder,
I just gaped in awe,
As the piggie got torn asunder!Into the cave we then go,
The orcs already in wait,
But the Llama guy went ahead,
Such a cool looking bait!Quiet and sneaky,
Elvira shot through,
I didn't even see her,
Until she wanted me to!Then there was Daron,
He's hard like a wall!
With a big axe in hand,
Look at them orcsies fall!There's another guy missing,
But I don't know his name,
He looked like a soldier,
Always on top of his game!Finally there she was,
The damsel in distress,
The orcs are so meanie,
They even stole her dress!Blades all around her,
Stuck to the ground.
But with mighty force,
Daron and Llama pushed 'em around!Your dear singer got some of that too,
A jumped and I twisted,
The sword sent me flying, yahoo!The lady was free,
and so we went home,
But out of the blue,
A roar shook this poor gnome!"YOU STOLE MY SACRIFICE!"
A shout came through,
Oh boy, that sure wasn't nice,
This time we messed with Bahgtru!The Orc God was after us,
And he looked really mad,
Llama kicked him in the knee,
Things were really bad!It was a hopeless fight,
He was lucky he was covered in bark.
With the angry god chasing
We resorted to flight,
And dashed madly all the way to Peltarch!Into the city he chose not to go
As to the why, I sure do not know.
But he sent us his minions, the piggies and more.
We had to fight bears, orcs and boars!Through many a wave we had to endure,
But after a while they began to give in.
The farmer's wife was safe, the city secure,
One of the bears even joined our team!
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6. Pelty the Penguin
Pelty was a penguin, she lived on the beach.
Her life was happy, everything in her reach.
But one day, the mean giants came to stay.
Pelty had to leave, the bad giants made her run.
But you can be sure, some day she'll return.Tumbling about, Pelty wandered to town,
A roving singer, with a lovely little gown,
Plucked Pelty from the cold, muddy streets,
Gave her food and water, and also some sweets!"Where are your buddies?" Bardie asked with a smile,
but the penguin just stood there, staring for a while
Bardie looked at her, unsure what to do,
But then she asked "Can I be friends with you too?"Pelty jumped happily, her heart filled with glee,
And so began the coolest duo the world would ever see!Bardie would sing, and Pelty would dance,
Rocking in taverns and whenever they had a chance!But deep in her heart,
Pelty wanted to go home.
This torn Bardie apart,
So she'd sure get it done!She found many heroes,
Some old and some new,
Do you know that elf Rary?
He was one of them too!They all went back to the mountains,
To talk to the those mean giants!
"Me be great Hargzaag and me no away!"
"Well you can be sure you won't make friends that way."Great Hargzaag pouted, could it really be true?
"Oh, little Bardie, say what me can do!"
"If you want friends, then listen to me,
no picking on little penguins, you leave them be!"The Giant did listen,
he didn't want to fight,
Not like the others,
Boy, they were not nice.Hargzaag got bored of the violence,
And one night he just left,
Crept out of his cave, in absolute silence.
The penguins saw it, and what do you know?
They started following, they're all friends now!Pelty thought about it too,
but she chose to stay,
She and Bardie were buddies,
The penguin would never go away!
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5. The balls of a Juggling Ogre
'tis a sobbing saddening tale,
the one I now weave,
But it's just an ogre's life,
so you don't really have to grieve.Borgnag was an ogre, and a juggling one too.
In all his performances, he played with balls two.
But one day, in the midst of a show,
One of the balls went missing, where did it go?He looked everywhere, but there was no hope,
He gave up the search, and with a sad ogre's frown,
"Damn it to the Hells", he said, "where's that bundle of rope?!"
"I'll just get another", he sighed, heading to town.He tried the gates, but the guards were just thralls,
"Hey", the ogre said, "I'm looking for some balls!"
Little more than just golems, the guards misunderstood,
And tried to kill poor Borgnag, right where he stood!He ran from the place, never would he return,
"And then I am the savage, in the hells Y'all burn!"In another village he had better better luck,
"Folks are all friendly, just trying to make a buck"
The merchant showed him wares, apples and such,
But of the item he was looking for, there wasn't that much."I'm looking for some balls"
Borgnag told the nice lady,
"Like which I have here."The merchant's eyes widened,
as he reached down below
A slap and a scream,
And again Borgnag is forced to go.The same thing did happen, again and again,
A slap and a scream, as he reached down below,
So the juggling balls, he could never show.Tired of these antics,
The ogre just went back home
All he wanted was a juggling ball,
why couldn't he get some?Lying in bed, he had a though most sublime
reaching down again, a hand in his pocket
There it was, the eye and its socket,
The missing ball had been there all the time!
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bumming in the Commons in the good company of the usual lazy suspects, Vera is challenged to write a new song…
4. The Bumming Anthem (Sitting around all the time)
We see them all through the year
Wishing their smell would disappear
Oh, that would be sung throughout history!Too bad, that day'll never come
'Cause they have their place like everyone,
Last time I checked, this world was still free…They're bumming around, all the time!
Sitting around, all the time!
Sitting on the Commons everyday.You can see the joy in that bum's eyes
Just don't you mind the rascal's grime
Because it's not going anywhere!We're all just people, in the dark of night,
Makes no difference if you're bum or not,
'cause we can drink together another beer!For more ale it's not too late,
Anywhere is a just fine place,
If you can keep that spirit more than a day in the year
Then send this message loud and clear!This is a chance to be all together
We'll celebrate here the wine-o's way!
When the ones you love are there
You will smell them in the air - You know it can be anywhere
They're bumming around, all the time!
Sitting around all the time,
Sitting in the Commons everydayYou can see the joy in that bum's eyes
Just don't you mind the rascal's grime
Because it's not going anywhere!This is a chance to be all together
We'll celebrate here the wine-o's way!
When the ones you love are there
You will smell them in the air - You know it can be anywhere
They're bumming around, all the time!
Sitting around all the time,
Sitting in the Commons everydayPlease tell me the bums will never go away
((OOC: Kudos to Bryan Adams for making an awesome song and Happy Holidays everyone!))
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Returning from a little stroll, Vera hears a tale in the commons, and deems it worthy of song…
3. In quest for the temple of Kelemvor
In a dark and stormy night,
A bright and shiny knight
Arrived in lovely town of Peltarch.He didn't know the lands,
He got lost in the intersections
The lad couldn't be in better hands,
For Nica and Aelthas were there with directions!The Temple of Kelemvor,
He was looking for,
They'd take him there,
Let's see how they fare!The travelers went to the Pass,
And gnolls were galore,
But throught the might of brave Aelthas
They all fell to the floor!Our heroes carried on, and all was alright,
But soon another enemy was in their sight.
A youngling or a warrior, I do not know,
But Nica kept punching, look at her go!Filled with courage and the will to do right
William Kent jumped in, the beast he would smite!
The gnoll rose his paw, the knight rose his mace,
But alas, 'twas our young warrior who lost that race.On the floor he lay, unconscious and bruised,
Nica tried to help him, but sadly his body refused,
And so, poor was Kent's fate, another soul to the Fugue.I wanted to change this but you know I just can't,
For this is the tale of Sir William Kent.Don't be sad though, it's not yet the end,
Aelthas and 'dottir would raise back their friend!
They picked up the corpse, his belongings as well,
And kept on the path, to where the healer doth dwell.The priest saw them coming, he knew what was wrong,
He asked his Lord to to return William to this plane
Kelemvor did answer, his faith must have been strong,
For William did get up, and he looked just the same!I want to keep singing but now I just can't,
For this is all I know of Sir William Kent.I want to keep singing, but now I just can't,
And so ends the tale of Sir William Kent.
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In the common room of the Grapevine Inn, a still dazed Vera writes another song…
2. The Headless Mage
In the night, near the fire of Norwisk,
Rain was falling, and the wind was brisk
Cronz found it dreary, and his moustache drooped
I blame the wax though, methinks he got duped.We sat there, doing nothing, I got bored,
But then an elf came, boredom ignored!
He had a helm, I asked him what for,
"Experiments gone awry", oh, I know that score.Gnomish curiosity, a blessing and a curse,
I asked him to show me, he said: "of course"
How I regret that mistake, but now it is done
He took the helmet off, no head, not even of bone!Oh me, oh my! The poor guy lost his head!
Oh me, oh my! Now he has a helmet instead!
Oh me, oh my! Such a terrible fate!
Oh me, oh my! I wonder what he ate…Elven curiosity, What did you do?
What is our beloved world coming to?
Headless elves, what a tale!
An elf's experiment, what a fail!After he showed us his peculiar traits,
The headless elf set off once more,
Donning his helm, he HEADed to the gates
Book in tow, learning his headless lore.Oh me, oh my! The poor guy lost his head!
Oh me, oh my! Now he has a helmet instead!
Oh me, oh my! Such a terrible fate!
Oh me, oh my! Now I'll never know what he ate...
