3. The clash of metal

The clash of metal


  • _::The sky was still dark when a known figure in Peltarch, the Defender Sergeant Shallyah, walked into the tourney grounds. Clad in her crimson armor, she held her Frost Claw in her left hand as its shaft rested on her shoulder, appearing impervious to the unforgiving early cold winds.

    It soon began to dawn, as she awaited near the fighting pits, patiently::_


  • ::The warrioress looked at them as she listened quietly. When they finished, she spoke::

    Those are good examples of negative emotions that happen in your day-to-day life, and can affect your ability to perform your duties optimally.

    To feel something that makes you unhappy, annoyed or stressed is natural. It is impossible to not feel. But your success lies in not giving into those emotions, not dedicating them any more time than it is healthy to your mind because one way or another, they will cloud your judgement.

    Question yourself. What is it worth? Does feeling bad about something change it to better? Does your life or duty return more possitive experiences when you feel something negative and act out of it? Answer to those questions is trivial, yet emotions can not be permanently held back, building up momentum. Sometimes your mind needs to "vent".

    For this, we use re-appraisal. It is not about suppressing one emotion and making it disappear. It does not quite work like that. It is about re-evaluating our emotion carefully thinking about all of its components and reducing its impact in our mind, until it does not bother us anymore.

    There are several techniques for applying re-appraisal, and at first it can take hours to mitigate negative impact in your behavior caused by one negative emotion, but in time you will be able to shrug off unhappiness or stress in mere seconds, depending on intensity of each emotion.

    We will now take as example one emotion for each of you, and show you how to re-appraise it so it will not affect your clear judgement ever again.

    ::She then looked at Charles, taking the first entry of his list::

    Charles, your knighting being pushed back makes you unhappy. This can be seen in your demeanor, and impacts in your relationship with your fellow Order members. Patience is virtue, and when lacking it irritates you and subconsciously prods your feelings, it affects your ability to perform your duties. This in turn, may plant seeds of doubt in your superiors whether you are prepared to take onto Knighthood. Rethink your situation, and tackle this conflict with yourself.

    Is waiting worth it to you? If it is, you need to be proactive, and keep showing that you wish to become knight. Reward will come, when it is earned. If it is not worth waiting, then you need to unbind yourself from that which is unending source for your negative feelings. Only you have that answer, and only you have power to stop growing conflict that may make your life unhappy.

    Evaluate situation and consider that you can only further your goals by taking on them with determination and clear purpose. Negative feelings will simply burden you, and possibly destroy your ability to achieve your goals.

    ::The warrioress then glanced at Jake, taking the first entry of his list as well::

    Jake, you were frightened because gnoll knocked you down. It is difficult to handle such situation, because it comes in hand with feeling helpless, and unable to act. However, there are things you can do so that fear does not control you to point where you become liability, and possibly burden to your partners.

    Re-appraisal here lies in same reason that causes your fear. When you are knocked down and helpless, there is not much you can do to defend yourself. So why would you let fear further hinder your ability to survive? Evaluate this situation, and use this time to plan escape routes once you regain your footing, or look for that healing potion in your belt to drink it just in time. If you are frightened or nervous, chances are that even when you regain your footing you will keep being easy target. At best you will run away like headless chicken, opening yourself to further attacks and endangering your team which will attempt to protect you.

    Reroute your feelings of fear towards those of trust. You are knocked down, you can do nothing about it. So trust that your partners will be there for you, act calmly, visualize strategy to follow once you have regained your footing, and act accordingly. Your chances for survival will increase drastically when you are in control of your mind, and not in control of frightened irrational reactions.

    ::The ashen-haired Defender paused, looking at both::

    Do not give up if you try to re-appraise emotions and you can not stop having negative feelings about them, or control them when they happen again to you. You have to change your habits, and that is always slow process. What matters is that you try. Once you are in control of your mind, you will be in control of your body.

    Show me this, and we will begin swinging blades. For this tenday, I want you to take next entry of your list, and re-appraise it until you feel nothing negative about them, and know how to react next you feel them so that they do not impact negatively in your behavior. You are to explain to me your re-appraisal reasoning for event and its negative emotion.

    Your other task still remains. Weapons in hand at all times, except when doing so would be against law.

  • G

    Charles reaches for his own paper and reads from it too, slowly

    • My knighting being pushed further away everytime -> unhappy

    • The group i'm going with not following logical combat tactics -> stress

    • Being lectured about things I know I'm right -> Annoyed

    • Unable to reach someone in time to heal their wounds resulting in their death -> Unhappy

    • People talking about politics -> Stress

    • Shannon asking me things for quizzing -> Stress

    • Being Knocked down by an opponent -> Annoyed


  • Jake nods at Shallyah and speaks sharp as he reads a certain list

    @e0ccfd8e3d:

    Knocked down by gnoll – scared

    Advancing through dungeons in full disorder – annoyed

    When group charge recklessly without planning first – annoyed

    When one tries burden a whole mission on his shoulders – annoyed

    Getting wet from rain – annoyed and sometimes no feelings

    When I can’t hit often a tough foe – annoyed

    A matron gnoll in front of me swinging the scythe to cut me in half – scared to death

    Kobold hold me with spell – scared

    Then with a sudden pause he smiles and erases two lines from the list and he is probably the only one who can see what are the lines

    @e0ccfd8e3d:

    Women laughing at my tricks with daggers – joy

    Women fall for it when I tell them what they want to hear – joy

    My bad,my bad..

    With a cough he keeps on reading

    @e0ccfd8e3d:

    Watching warriors showing off – amusement

    Eating fast and then not being able to move freely – mad

    Attacking with both weapons being harder than the one handed style – annoyed

    Tripping in the dark when I try to focus on a hidden foe – pissed off

    Not being able to avoid battle when stealth is proper – annoyed

    A bolt pierced my left shoulder once – scared

    A butterfly flew through my eye,unbelievable! – annoyed

    Killing younglings - sad

    One time I cut myself with the dagger while I was trying wield two weapons at the same time – nothing could relax me

    That's it.Uh…Yep.


  • ::She looked at both for a moment with her hands clasped behind her back::

    I trust you have brought your lists. Speak them out loud.

    ::The warriores stood still in silence, awaiting for the pupils to speak up::

  • G

    Charles arrives just at the time, leaning his hand on the hilt of his sword and shinning in his armor. He approaches Jake and pats him on the shoulder, then goes to the usual spot and waits for Shallyah's instructions


  • Jake arrives earlier at the training ground,almost two hours before the next lesson and starts performing ground exercises like pushups and abs.He repeats the same with small breaks between.Supplied with fruit and water,he has a content smile all the time


  • ::the warrioress spoke then::

    Very well then. For this tenday, you have new task. You will write down anything that happens to you during this tenday that makes you unhappy, depressed or afraid. Anything that caused in you negative feelings during these coming days till next training day, no matter how small. Make list, and return with it next tenday.

    As before, your other task about your weapons remains.

  • G

    Though he could've said that he knows no fear, and that'd been true as a paladin he is, Charles prefered to remain silent and let Shallyah speak, after she's done explaining, he nods, understanding that fear is not the only emotion that can make one lose a battle

    I have no further questions.


  • ::The warrioress nodded::

    You will feel fear, rage, sometimes euphoria, and others utter depression. You only must not allow them to dictate your actions in battleground. In your personal life, go ahead. Get drunk, get into bar fight, or laugh your heart off for entertainment's sake. I choose not to, but that is only my choice.

    However, in battleground, warrior fights for things greater than herself, for innocet lives, for ideals like peace or freedom. You must not allow your own feelings to hinder your ability to perform in top conditions. Countries are won and lost to morale of their armies. Control your morale, and you will have taken decisive step towards victory. Do not think of becoming cold, or emotionless. If you wish be in heat, be passionate, scream as you fight. But keep your mind sharp at all times, let serenity and good judgement guide your actions.

    Now there are magical effects that cause you to lose control over your actions, no matter what. That is diferent matter, for we can all be victims of it, no matter how hard our mind is trained. Though increasing your resilience against those is hard, it is still possible. But forget magical emotions for now. Focus on mundane ones.

    You control your body only when you control your mind. In battle, your emotions will often be inspired by your foes, such as fear, terror or despair. Other times they will be inspired by our own flawed nature or by loss itself. Anguish, rage, bloodlust, thirst for vengeance. If you let them control you, then you are not yourself anymore, you become chaotic, unreliable animal serving primal instincts and no cause. You would not put lives of those you love, those you wish to protect into hands of afraid, terrorized animal. Or in hands of raging, bloodthirsty one.

    ::She looked at Jake, as she waited for his response::


  • Jake turns to Charles a flashy moment before he addresses to Shallyah after she finished

    Yes,yes.Only one.How can we train our minds to not give in to fear or rage,but mostly fear?Is there a person in whole Faerun that does not know fear?


  • ::Shallyah looked at them in the eyes, one by one::

    As you have returned, I understand that you have given this enough thought, and you have decided that this is what you wish to do. We will begin shaping your body and your mind, and turning you into weapon wielded by your cause.

    This is not to say that you do not have power to decide - you have plenty, and this is both good and dangerous. When warrior forgets what she fights for, when she strays from path, when she gives into emotions that cloud her judgement, it is not warrior's cause that wields warrior. It is then that all your training, your skill, your lethality turn against what you are, what you have become, and what you aim to be.

    Warrior can only be true if she knows what she fights for at every step, and follows her path without falter. If her mind is sharp and clear, if she does not give in to pain or despair, into fear or rage.

    I know that you two expect me to teach you some moves and some fighting techniques, and we'll get to that in due time. But that is not what makes one better warrior. That only makes you better fighter.

    Any questions so far?

    ::She looked at them again, waiting::


  • An hour later almost,Jake arrives to the training ground as well.Whistling and swinging a dagger,he can be heard before he can be seen.He stands a few meters away from where Charles practices,watching with a grin

    Ahh,that's what i call the morning warm up!

  • G

    After 10 days have passed, Charles is on his way to the fairgrounds. He's tapping his fingers on the hilt of the sword with a smile on his face and when he crosses the fence into the grounds he unseathes it with a smooth movement, twirling it by the hilt and approaching some dummies.
    It's still one hour until the class starts, but he has come to practice with some dummies first.


  • ::Shallyah paused for a few moments, then nodded::

    Because only alternative is running, giving up on all we know and earn, bending to those who would take all that we have, and rule our lives in slavery, or destroy us at whim.

    Because chaos and evil are agressive forces, conflict is inevitable, and someone has to take stand and protect that which is worth protecting. Because those who wish only to live in peace, deserve to live in peace.

    Now, knowing that conflict is inevitable, warriors must exist so that those conflicts are resolved in favour of that cause which we fight for. It is only logical that as only blacksmith can smith best, and only painter can paint best, only warrior can war best.

    You wish to be warriors, not because of bloodlust, not because of zeal or greed, not because of glory and not because of need for conquer. You wish to be warriors because you have to, because there has to be warriors, and you are willing to take this path to excell in it, and through it fight for worthy ideals. I know this, and this is why I accepted to instruct you. But I needed you to realize yourselves and keep it in mind every day of your life. This is your first, and most important lesson.

    When you are done with my instruction, you will wield power to decide when someone's life should end. You must use it wisely, for it will wear you down with burden. You must keep in mind that it is never about how many lives you take, it is about how many lives you preserve.

    I want you two to reflect upon this. Mull and mill what I have told you and let your very beings absorb it fully, every word of it. At times, in heat of battle, our mind does not function normally, and our instincts and subconscious dictate our actions. I need this seed we have planted today to root deep within you, and grow within so that you never lack determination to defy your foes, but never lack serenity to still your hand when it's time to do so.

    Go now, and return next tenday for next lesson. Your other task remains. Wield your weapons at all times, with exception of when doing so you would be breaking any laws.

    ::The ashen haired warrioress stood still, her clear grey eyes watching the two pupils::

  • G

    There's no other valid option. If I don't fight, then someone else has to fight for those things I want to fight for. I'd rather fight so others can live in peace. Someone has to do it, and I'm that someone.


  • Jake clear his throat

    I want to better myself in combat so i can live in the end of each battle and see the next day.Also to carry out successfully any task given and which need me to fight my way through it.

    he nodded at his own words


  • ::The warrior-monk shifted her clear grey eyes from one to the other::

    Well, then.

  • G

    Charles walks in, the clanking of his armor audible, he nods to both of them with a soft smile before taking his spot next to Jake. He clears his throat and adresses Shallyah

    I gave much thought to your question, and I think I found my answer.

    He waits then, patiently.


  • A few minutes later Jake shows up,running with a mouthful,eating an apple and at the same time trying to adjust his leather armor a bit clumsily just before he arrives where Shallyah stands.He swallow the last bite of the apple and stops with a cheerful grin

    Alright,i made it!