Tangles: A Ranger's Life

[its_a_fire]

Tangles: A Rangers Life

((Danika's old diary can be found here. I thought it was time to start writing stories about her without limiting them to her voice.))

– -- --

Neutral.

Danika scowled, the only motion she'd make until the gnolls left. Clinging to the rock wall of the pass with a tree between her and the bulk of the patrol, she exercised a patience that she certainly didn't feel.

Neutral.

She'd never tried to understand the word. Not really. She'd long suspected it meant something she wouldn't like. Something that would make her respect druids less. Her instincts were usually right.

That was the last time she'd interacted with peope. Days ago now. Once the headache and nauseau from the menhir cleared, she packed her bag and took to the woods. She needed to be alone. She thought better alone. The less eyes on her, the more she felt like herself. The less noise, the better to think. To think her way. On instinct. With her whole body, with all her sense. Amongst the trees she could usually let go of worries and doubts. The shadows welcomed her. The tracks spoke to her.

As she crept from one outcropping to the next, she was aware of every sound in the woods, of every dust-flecked shaft of light. She watched a gnoll youngling lagging behind his patrol. The way his head lulled, the rhythm of his step. She could tell at a glance he didn't march at the rear to watch behind the group as Danika often would. He was tired or possibly browbeaten. Being aware of these things came easily. Reacting came easily.

But that word.

It ate at her.

She was thankful for Ardent, for her gift with speech. Danika might have left after that word and forced the trio of scouts to return through the barricades and the regiment of hobgoblins. Ardent didn't say much to persuade the druids, but Danika had no patience for the back-and-forth of even polite disgagreemnts. What's good is good. What needs to be done needs to done. It's the only justification she'd ever be satisfied with. People need care and attention, not ideas. The people of Norwick were enslaved, being worked to death. It broke her heart to imagine their pain, but the idea of being neutral to it angered her nearly as much as what the goblinoids and duergar had done.

Danika ducked behind a jutting rock and pressed her back against it. A large gnoll stomped down the path toward her, following the same path as the patrol. It's many bone charms rattled with each heavy step. A shaman. The gnoll came to a stop close enough that Danika could hear it breathe, could smell the rotting flesh on it's breath. The quiet ranger knew better than to panic. She'd picked the best position available to her. If the shaman was alone, she'd react quicker than it. Magic reveals its hand: the shaman would need to see her before it could cast a spell on her. She'd prevail. If it was alone. So she forced herself to listen beyond the immediate threat.

At first she heard no more gnolls approaching around the corner, but then she saw just ahead of her the trembling shape of another youngling. It was hiding in a bush, hiding from its patrol and its elders. When the shaman took another step, the poor creature whimpered and gave away it's hiding place. The shaman roared and charged for the smaller gnoll. Grabbing it roughly, it dragged the little one into the open and began thrashing at it.

Danika couldn't bear to watch. It took every ounce of willpower she had to not intervene, to not reveal her position. She couldn't afford to close her eyes, but even if she did, the sounds would be all to real to her.

Blood poured down the yelping youngling's muzzle. It tried to shield itself with all four limbs as it curled up into a ball on the floor of the pass.

Evil is real.

The thought unfolded in her mind as less a statement and more a feeling. There was no balance in the scene before her. There was no neutral position. Evil was occuring there. She could either react or become it's accomplice. It might be a little evil, but it was her time to act. It was all she could do. It was all anyone could ever do.

Druids were the heart and the mind. Rangers were the eyes and the hands. That's what she'd been taught, but she didn't believe it anymore. She had a heart of her own. Her mind was one with the wild too, but she didn't believe in balance. She believed in good. She believed in evil. And she knew which side she'd choose.

When Danika decided to act, her hands had already tugged her twin hatchets from her belt. At a glance she could find the weaknesses in the shaman's sloppy stance. She began to bob and weave as her light feet took her forward. This is how she thinks, how she debates: with her whole being. With actions that are real. With movements that are meaningful.

The weak must be defended. The weak must be armed.

The ranger set upon the shaman in a flurry of flashing blade edges. It would be a quick fight.

Whether the youngling would aid her, oppose her or flee was left to it.

[its_a_fire]

When the darkness beyond the gate wobbled in front of them, it left behind a tall but insubstantial figure holding a scythe. Dressed in all black, shadows seemed to gather and circle around it. Danika narrowed her eyes. Charles and the mage reported seeing echoes in the woods north of the ruins. The two had just returned from the graveyard, Danika from a long scouting mission. Even with Nailo and the mage's familiar searching the area, Danika wasn't certain they could handle an attack. Her hand twitced, but she held it away from her bow. She hoped the second wasted wouldn't cost them their lives.

"Greetings, those of flesh," said the shadowy figure.

"Hhhhhi," Danika said flatly.

The dark features of the shadow seemed to form a small smile. Its eyes watched her closely. A talker, she thought. Here to show how clever he is.

"This…" the shadow paused, unusual for a talker. "...is an active land for shadows, it seems."

"We've seen many here, yes," the mage said. "Though not so close to the city."

Danika spoke simultaneously. "It was. The shades all died though." She took a calm bite from her apple. Experience said they were safe for now.

"Oh, not all," the shadow said. "Where there is light, there is always shade and shadow. And as long as there are men... well, who knows what shadows lurk in the hearts of men?"

Danika watched Nailo approach the shadow from behind. Too close, Nailo. Stay hidden. The elven scout's own shadow bent and poked him before wagging the finger at him. Nailo froze before shrugging off the event and joining the others at the gate.

"Not like i was going to shoot you in the back of the head," he said.

"Lots of people," Danika said to draw attention back to the shadow's question. She doubted he expected an answer. Talkers were always asking questions that weren't questions.

"I have appeared here to pose a question, those of flesh."

With the word question, the shadows around the figure began to dance in a circle. They took the shape of people, their arms linked as if in some tribal exhultation together. They danced in unison around and around. Danika turned her head so she could focus on the voice of the central figure.

The mage smiled. "Oh good. I like questions."

Charles frowned, but whether at the prospect of a question or the dancing shadows, Danika couldn't say. She feared a riddle herself. I hate riddles, she thought as her eyes narrowed again.

"Where do shadows exist, and why?"

Nailo bit into his own apple in a moment of consideration. "Everywhere light does."

The shadow nodded his head at Nailo in acceptance and then turned to the other three.

"Hmm, Thats a reasonable assertion," the mage said.

"And the reason is balance for ever light there is a darkness," Nailo continued. "Devils and angels, hate and love, and so on."

The shadow may as well have not heard the rest of Nailo's answer. "Do the rest of you not have answers?"

""Not every light," Danika said to Nailo. She ignored the shadow, whom she believed wanted an answer less than an opportunity to lecture. She had nodded with Nailo's first comment, but the rest compelled her to speak. Her nose wrinkled in displeasure, she continued. "Light is light. People. Things. Choices. They make shadows."

"Shadows exist in between the light and dark," the mage said to the shadow.

"In people hearts and soul, because it's in our human -" Charles caught himself and glanced at the mage " - and elf nature."

The shadow tipped its head at each answer.

"Balance is silly," Danika continued to Nailo alone. There was more she meant to say. There was an anger and a light that hadn't even touched the surface, but the words she'd rehearsed didn't come easily. Not in front of an audience.

"Maybe," Nailo said. "Don't really pay attention much to things like law and balance. Just try to survive."

Silence fell. Danika picked the seeds from her apple's core.

"So what grounds you, sir, to being neither light or darkness?" the mage asked.

The shadow took his time before answering. "The question does not apply, friend."

"Can I ask a question now?" Nailo asked.

"No," the shadow said. "I am thinking." The shadow peered at Danika in particular and asked a new question. "And what use, pray tell, are shadows?"

"Ummm," came Eragor's voice from behind them. "Who's that guy?"

"Hi Eragor. And I don't know," said Nailo.

Danika turned to wave at the half-orc, smiling to let him know there was no immenent danger. A grin was spreading across her face as she considered her answer. She could lecture too in her own way.

"Most people only look where the light takes them. They don't know hhhhow to really look at something. Hhhhow to see the little tricks." As she spoke Danika tossed the apple core from one hand to the next and back again. She established a rhythm, a pattern, until suddenly the hand that should have caught the apple opened with nothing inside. She revealed both empty palms. "So you can hhhhhide things in shadows."

"So shadows are not always a bad thing, aye?" the shadow asked.

"I always figured my shadow is a part of my soul."

A smile appeared on the shadow's dark features again. "You are well-informed, little one."

"Depends on what type of shadows," Charles said. "There's undead shadows. Those are always bad. Well, not bad, evil."

"Real shadows? They're not good or bad." Danika didn't like this line of questioning. The shadow was trying to hide something with its choice of words, to make one word carry too much meaning. It was a trick to make them agree with something they might not otherwise. Like the apple core she'd palmed that had found its way into one of the many pockets sewn into her cloak.

Charles nodded. "I agree with the lady on real, normal shadows."

"Not all shadows are exactly what they seem. This knowledge will serve you in the time to come."

"Mm." Danika made the sound unconsciously. Talkers. They're all the same.

The shadow's gaze intensified as if it could read the dispassion in Danika's mind. "Am I understood?"

"Why should we trust you?" Charles began.

Danika wasn't through with the last questions. Understood? There's nothing to understand. She shook her head. "You're only speaking with shadows of words."

"Fitting, no?"

"Misdirecting." There was something she'd missed. What was the shadow hiding?

"Shadows are inevitable," the shadow continued. "In every corner, of every room. As inevitable as your conscience. Do not surrender to them, as you would anything else, but do not ignore it either, nor pretend that you lack one. Your friends to the North, would do well to remember this well."

Danika shook her head slowly. No, this can't be just a warning. Warnings are direct.

Eragor looked down at his own shadow flickering and bending the fire-light. "Well, my shadow doesn't speak."

"Now. One of you, may ask me one question. Deliberate amongst yourselves, and may the asker walk out into the darkness."

The five turned to each other. Charles wore a visible frown of concern. Danika arched a brow as she looked over each of them in turn, waiting.

"He spoke of a time to come," the elf mage began quietly. "I wonder what that means?"

Danika slipped a hand into her pack in preparation. The shadow had been singling her out. "No other questions?"

Eragor rubbed his head. "Not sure what's going on or who he is."

"I don't have any that are important," Nailo confessed.

"You have one, miss?" Charles asked.

"Maybe. What will hhhhappen if they do not listen. Remember."

"I forsee the 'bad things' answer," Charles said.

"Mm. Words," Danika agreed. Mere words.

Charles thought a moment. "How should we recognize which shadows are to be useful?"

"Which will fight us or help us," Nailo added.

"Maybe." Danika grinned at Charles. "Do you want to ask it?"

"No," Charles answered calmly.

The pace of the dancing shadows increased. Danika was certain they had little time remaning. She removed a blanket from her pack to touch its corner to her face. The natural shadows grew transparent. Even the magical darkness receded in a circle all around her.

Danika stepped out into the night. These woods she knew by heart. Every tree and hill. She wouldn't be afraid so long as she was in her woods.

She paused north of the ruins and opened her mouth, but there was no air to carry her voice. Only darkness.

"You have come."

Danika heard the voice of the shadow but she didn't dare open her eyes. She could breathe again, but the world spun. This was not her woods. This was nowhere at all. No setting sun, no stars. Formless, strange and alien to the earthbound ranger. She grasped at empty air until she found what felt like a tree. I hate this, she thought. Thorn makes it look so easy.

"Worry not. You're in no danger. Take all the time you need in this place."

Danika opened her eyes to a squint. The land was sparse and dim. Everything was wavery in a peaceful way. Shadows of people walked all around her, looking at things Danika could not see, following purposes she could not comprehend. Everything new moment passed felt like a fading dream.

Danika felt a question rise within, but she caught herself. The shadow had a purpose in bringing her here, in allowing one question. Why not answer it in the woods? Did he have an advantage here? Was he keeping her from something back in her woods?

"I only get one question," she stated with care.

"I only promise one question. My interest may prove to have me answer more. And there is no price. You have nothing to fear from me, quiet one."

"Hhhhow will our friends recognize which shadows will be usefull, hhhelpul to us?" Danika finally focused on the shadow who had brought her here. His body language was remarkably human but seemed ill-practiced. It was difficult for her to read him well.

"A shadow will always show its intent immediately. If it holds fast, and does not seek to sate it's hunger on the living, it may bear pausing oneself, and seeing what more there is to it."

"Mm."

"You doubt me." It was merely an observation. Her eyes must have betrayed some skepticism.

"What do these other shadows eat if not the living?"

"Have you ever had to feed your own shadow?" He smiled, but it wasn't a twisted smile.

Danika bent her neck to look at him sideways. "Do they want anything more than eating the living?"

"I can speak not for shadows with a will of their own, for their wills bring their own desires. Some shadows, were once things of flesh, after all."

Danika finally let go of the tree. "What do you want? From this."

"Want." The shadow paused in thought. "I wish to see why mortals attach signifigance to things, and attribute light and dark to them, with no in-between considered. I have seen a great deal of … how to put it, black and white mentality. Some things are neither black, nor white. They simply are. What will a mortal do, when something is neither black nor white? Will they lack purpose, when something does not fit inside the box that is their mind?"

Danika narrowed her eyes and insisted, "Evil is real." The practiced response was simple, but it said everything she meant.

"Of course. That is beyond question. But answer me, now, if you will. Are there things that are neither evil, nor good?"

"Things. Yes."

"Do you trust them? Or rather, since that lacks specifics ... could you?"

"Maybe. But not if their words and actions don't agree."

"A wise decision."

Danika shrugged lightly. Was it wisdom to admit that you see what you see?

"I have something for you then, she who knows the difference between shadows and "Shadows." If you wish it."

"Oh?"

"There is one in the North, who would be King. There are many who would not object, as well. Should this come to pass, know that he is neutral. As such, he caught my interest, but I do not interfere. I know not if the goings on in the North interest you, but it is what it is, and I am ... intrigued enough to see the actions of those who see it coming."

Danika twisted her mouth to the side. The revelation was disappointing. Kings weren't real. They were just disguises to appease their followers, for people who didn't want to reflect on their own choices.

"This is not interfering?" She asked at last.

"Hardly. There are those who know already, of course. You have told me much, in your response, as well."

Danika's eyes widened suddenly. The way he said "the North." The shadow chuckled.

"You do mean Peltarch, right?" she asked. "Not the north north?"

"I see I picked the right one, after all."

Danika's heart sank. "The Glacier?"

"You were right the first time. Your North. I do try to be... relevant. I can hardly see happenings outside of your Narfell being of much interest to you."

"That's not my north." Danika exhaled in relief. Peltarch was full of capable good-hearted people, even if they were misguided over the nature of laws and kings. But her mother's people, the people of the Glacier, they would not know how to deal with shadows or hidden evils.

"It is in these days," the figure said. "It affects you as surely as light casts shadows. My sense of time is not as ... questionable as that of some Gods, after all. Have I given you something to think about?"

Danika nodded.

"I will return you now. I thank you for your time."

Danika flashed a bright smile. "I'm Danika."

The shadow seemed surprised by that. "I alas, am simply The Shadow. I apologize if that seems contrived."

"That's better than my nickname."

The Shadow quirked his lips in amusement. "What is your nickname?"

"Boots."

"I shall ask you about that sometime."

As the world grew dim again, Danika dropped a few apple seeds from her palm.

[its_a_fire]

As Val and Danika signed through the noise of the crafter's hall, the tangle-haired ranger stood sideways, as half-engaged as she ever was through conversation so that she might steal glances at the door. The odd pair weren't discussing anything sensitive, but the setting recalled Danika's conversation with Therean and the events just before. It brought back the cramped feeling of that lighthouse room. She could still see Sirion's eyes staring back at her.

Dwarf-sized silver armor lay on the anvil, Val's hammer beside. It was beautiful to look at, but the details did not reveal the mark of a master smith. Finished for the day, the paladin of the Red Knight related the history of her adopted son, but Danika was still thinking about Grobble, the goblin escapee. Val had suggested that - should his bard training not progress - the goblin had the skills necessary to become a ranger and that Danika might teach him. Danika imagined her first teacher back home and what the bitter Rashemi scout might shout if she knew her skills were being surrendered to a goblin.

"So now, he's a happy, healthy boy with a new home and good hopes for the future. He wants to be a lawman, like Cecil," Val was saying. "His words, not mine."

Danika grinned. "There's worse things."

"Oh, I'm not upset at all about that," Val signed. "I'm glad he knows what he wants. And Cecil is a good person to look up to. He'll be the most well educated lawman there is though."

Danika started to smile but it fell suddenly. She'd immediately imagined Locrian's reaction. An educated lawman? He'd scoff, but thinking of the old captain only brought to mind his status. Missing. Presumed dead. He was far from the only one.

"He's thirteen now. A few more years and Norwick will be safe again, and he can take a job there if he wants." Val looked up and noticed Danika's expression. "What's wrong?

"Nothing. I just thought of Locrian. And all the others we haven't seen."

"Oh. I'm sorry Danika."

The ranger shook her head. Apologies felt wrong. "If they died defending Norwick, then many have them to thank."

"I've been thinking about buying some land in Norwick, to be on hand more for when troubles like this come," Val continued. "I'm sure Cecil will at least consider it for me. It would mean Bill is there then. And that's his home. We'll rebuild Norwick. And if we can find those who are lost, we will."

Danika let her hands hang in the air a moment but dropped them when she found nothing to add.

"Oh, I found this on an orc the other day," Val pushed a bottle of Cat's Grace toward Danika. "Maybe it would be useful for you? It's no good to me, and I can cast the spell anyway."

"Thank you."

The two watched as Sûldîn entered and left the hall. Danika waved. Sûldîn nodded.

Val turned back to Danika. "Has Cecil spoken to you yet about who will lead the scouts when Norwick is retaken?"

The ranger shook her head.

"You should consider it. I think that you'd be good at it. You had the level head to get advice when the others came up with that… plan. Ardent... did not."

"I don't think she wanted advice," Danika signed. She frowned as she remebered Ardent admiting what the plan might cost her. "She already knew the answer. She's much better at leading though. Than me."

"And?" Val asked. "Leadership is not about just getting people to follow you."

Danika tilted her head. Wasn't that the only thing it meant?

"It's about making wise decisions, about doing what is right. You have been in Norwick for a long, long time. You've seen much change, lived through much. You have earnt respect. I know Cecil can trust you to tell him the truth, and to give him good advice. Even if it hurts."

Danika felt the slight tug of a shepish smile. This conversation. Swearing oaths to do what she'd do regardless. Claiming ranks to put a name to her skills. Telling others to do the same. It used to bother her when she was still white hot over Brendel's hand, but today it amused her.

"I would do that anyway," she said. "Whenever they came to me. But I like to be in the woods. Not the barracks."

"Yes, but if you lead the scouts, then it allows you a degree of control of what actions the scouts take. And it would mean that when someone like me comes into town and warns the militia that the bugbear army is on the march a day before the auction, that you would take action."

Danika glanced at the floor as a wave of guilt washed over her. When the bugbears were marching she'd been in the woods. She hadn't made it to Norwick in time. Had she been in the barracks, she might have been present for the battle. She might have made a difference. More might be alive. Danika had felt grief for those lost, but never guilt. It was like chains about her heart, the way Val put it, and Danika felt a stirring of obligation to accept. To take up a locker in the barracks again.

The hall felt small in that moment. Cramped.

"We gave warning, but it was not heeded," Val continued before noticing the shift in the ranger's mood. "What's wrong?"

"Just... Too much to think about. Maybe."

"Take some time then. You know where I'll be. But.. I'll be advising Cecil to speak with you about it."

Danika glanced at the door and remembered the group who'd left for the spider woods. "They should have returned."

"Oh. Maybe they're in the commons."

When the two stepped into the streets, Val walked south toward the commons, but Danika slipped sideways into the shadows of the northern alley. Listening for footfalls behind her, she stole away toward an isolated bend in the alley.

Alone, she leaned back against the brick wall and sniffled but once before balling up her fists. She felt lost, her instincts buried beneath this new feeling. She thought she knew right from wrong, but this felt like both. She could give advice, but taking up a position within the scouts, within the militia, it meant compromise. Laws. Orders. She wouldn't let others make decisions for her.

She wiped her eyes as she stared fiercely across at a blank wall, trying to summon her usual self. The others should have returned, she told herself. It wasn't just an excuse. She needed to clear her head. She could do that while finding them.

[its_a_fire]

"Danika, may we talk?"

Ardent led the tangle-haired ranger out of the commons and onto a side street. Around them the people of Peltarch scrambled to escape the downpour, but Danika for one welcomed the rain. Just returned from the Underdark, she wouldn't leave sight of the open sky - whatever it's temperament that chill morning.

Without lowering her voice, Ardent spoke. "The plan you disapproved of is being abandoned."

Danika nodded sharply. Until she knew Ardent's feelings she wouldn't reveal more, but inside she felt a tremendous relief. She'd guessed Ardent would be the easiest to persuade and hoped that the mission would fall apart without her participation. Danika had prepared to talk to the mission's other members and - should that fail - to rally allies to intervene when the plan was enacted. But she much prefered the Remnant abandon their plan voluntarily. She was thankful she wouldn't have to choose whether to stop them.

Ardent continued. "So that I hope we lose no other allies now. Such as anyone else you may have mentioned it to."

Danika bit her lip. It wasn't the reasoning she wanted to hear. She wanted Ardent to see that conceding just one soul to the other side was a loss. She wanted Ardent to see that no amount of damage done to the enemy justified any amount of evil. The safety of the weak mattered more than revenge.

Ardent stepped into the gathering fog without another word on the matter.

Drenched from head to toe, Danika stood alone but for her thoughts and the lingering sense that she had somehow betrayed Norwick and the Remnant. This situation was exactly why she'd quit the militia, why she'd struck the deal with Locrian: no rank, no orders. She couldn't surrender her will or her principles to another. She'd no loyalty except to what was good for all. She hadn't betrayed anyone, she assured herself. She had done what was right.

Yet the handling of this situation had been taken out of her control. Briefly Danika felt the desire to curse Therean. She'd only wanted his advice, only reassurance that she was making the right call. But she knew it was his strong words which had worked on Ardent. She made a point to tell him the news, but first she needed to go do some scouting.