3. Cilwa the journal of a dancer

Cilwa the journal of a dancer

  • C


    a self portrait scribbled on the first page of the book

    So far my visit to the new land has yielded a few friends, but I am definately a fish out of water so to speak.

    My unwillingness to harm another even goblins has raised more than one eyebrow, I suspect that may be why I was led deep into goblin territories that one time and abandoned alone, that was almost the end of me, it is a good thing i moved slowly and tried to remain unseen for the most part, a ploy I need to rethink after a encounter with a sharp eyed goblin.

    I am not sure how well I will fare, there seems little need for someone who cannot wield a weapon of any kind, and so far dancing is not proving a viable option, my hopes of being able to heal friends from the safety of the shadows is proving more challenging than I had origionally hoped, my obvious lack of skill being a hinderace to that endeavour, to the peril of those i travel with. But it has been proven to me first hand the ones I have travelled with are more than capable with out my meager abilities, which is a godsend, thankful they have not had to rely on my healing to keep them safe in those dangerous areas.

    I can continue to try, but I have been told that I am not sufficient of skill to accompany ones on certain trips, and have been with reason left behind, Endangering others in terrible situations is not what I want, they seem willing to sacrifice themselves to keep me safe, it is good sense they have chosen to tell me I should not travel in certain areas with them.

    Here is hoping I can find a place here, somewhere,

    Maybe I will do a few sketches over time and invclude them in this journal, but I am a dancer first, artist second, and I need practice at both.

  • C

    My time here is proving a bit disappointing, it seems the vast majority of people have to make their living by violence, and my unwillingness to do so my self has actually gained more than just the raised eyebrows and disapproving looks, i have sensed actual hostility from some now

    my hopes to become a healer who helps those i travel with from the shadows is fading, the dream is dying a slow but sure death with every expedition that leaves the cities or towns when i have been left behind after being told i am not needed, or wanted, or will be a millstone to those i am hoping to travel with, so far it has been 5 times i have been told such

    the one glimmer of hope i had has been removed from my grasp, there was a task where i could obtain a handsome amount of gold for a simple delivery task, the ones who require the service no longer require my aid, i can only speculate as to why, but they did permit me to do the delivery on several occasions before, finding gold for the boat trips and rations will be more of a challenge now, and my unwillingness to kill is a roadblock to this as well, but i refuse to change who i am.