This is particularlly new to me: writing about myself so no-one can read. Although it seems like a waste of time, maybe if I put down this feelings I am geting, I might be able to comprehend them better later.
I am Kabul, lost son of a slaughtered family, surviving student of a missing teacher. Life hasn't treated me very fo most of the times, even so, I choose to keep going. Where to, I do not know.
My wish to find her is still with me, and that's mainly what keeps me willing to improve, practice and better develop my skills. But, lately, some other things are making my mind busy.
I've just spent a whole year into the woods, near the humanoids the inhabit those lands, trying to find out a way of geting inside that Hold of theirs, and inside look for any clues of her. I haven't found a way other them the usual.
I have a better knowlegde of their language now, that's a fact. I hid myself so well I could stay near them and try to learn their tongue.
But, deep into the shadows, I started to realize something else. With enough practice, I felt I'd be able to become one with the dark. I'm sure this sounds delirious, but it's just a feeling I had, during this whole year of staying hidden.
I started to see the darkness as a friend of mine, as a powerfull ally even. What are the implications of this, I can only wonder. And there was even that time when I….
Somethings better remain unspoken for now. But I can pose myself a few questions:
Am I loosing my mind seeking this vengeance? Are these feelings something to be subdued? Am I not a hunter anymore? Wil I become something else? And what?
I will certainlly laugh at this one day, but it's better I leave this recorded, just in case.
I am finally back. Would love to say that this place feels like home, but that would be a lie and there is no reason to lie to myself. I feel like a stranger, in a strange place, just like the first time I arrived at Norwick. As expected, there are no familiar faces around. Everything looks the same, but at the same time all is different.
I used to be a scout for the Realm of Norwick. Hells, I still have the key to the militia barracks lost somewhere inside my bags. When I left, we were at war against goblinoids from the south. I am not sure who won, if there was a winner, or even if it is over. I Need to do some catching up it seems.
But I feel the Realm lost some ground. Not a mile away from the city’s wall there is a new goblin fortification. A new tribe…same kind of bastards. I’ll visit them soon. They will know there is a hunter back in these woods. Puting them on their toes seems like something to do, while I figure out what else needs to be done. Not the best plan, but it is the best one I have for now.
On another note. My travels cost me almost all my supplies. More arrows, potions and scrolls are necessary. Can’t afford to be caught off guard. People seem to gather in Peltarch these days. Maybe I’ll join some adventuring party and see if I can get what I need.
Years and years looking for her everywhere just lead me back to where I started. Son of a murdered family, student of a kidnapped teacher, hunter, ..now I am a rat in a maze, returning to the starting point of my journey. It is not what I expected, but things are what they are, and I must go on.
I won’t lie to myself. Having to return to Narfell does bring some good memories back. Even tough I don’t expect to find any familiar faces there, remembering some of my old friends and allies brings up all we have accomplished during those long-gone years.
The constant defence of the gates, the patrols, the bugbear war, the Shadovar, Fendon’s threat, the dark pact, the fight against demons and devils and everything else we were able to overcome. Hard times, difficult years, good and bad decisions, defeat and victory ... life.
I have my destination already. Now, all I must do is putting one foot after another until I am there.
My search will continue.
I heard about someone that is a "shadow walker" today. Aperently a drow that is hunted by his family, I'm not sure about the details. But it seems like this matter of the shadows keeps returning to my atention, with a lot of frequency.
Maybe I should go and speak to this drow, maybe I should let this matter go. I'm not sure. If I decide to go after him, I must call folks with no atachments to me, since that can be missinterpreted.
I may tell someone about this, only one person, that person.
Seems like my position towards the gods is going to be a problem to myself. I'm not sure how to go around this problem, but I think what I think, I am, what I am, and I do what I do.
I just don't realy on gods for anything, since I've never had any kind of response from any of them. How can a simple man be sure they care, if they only grant their present to a few chosen ones. And what if these chosen do not share with us what they realy say?
I wonder if I brake into that window again, I'll end up with a blade in my chest. The reward is certainly worth the risk. Maybe next night.
Ah, the city. It always has something going on, which gives me all the necessary diversion. As i lean against the inn's wall, I watch the building carefully, trying to figure out how to reach the second floor window.
I can see that vine growing at the buildings side, but I can't stop wondering if those could hold my weight. If I can't figure out anything better, taht will be my way.
I push myself casually from the wall and walk close to the building. Those bricks can be used for suport, but the climbing would take much time. And the more time, hiher are the chances I get caught.
The lower floor windown could hold me and from them I could easily reach the higher ones, and then I would be closer to my goal. I notice at the side of the building a pipe that goes all the way to the roof. That s my answer. Climbing it won't be hard. It's the best chance I have, and I'll take it.
I check my belt for a moment. My tools are here, opening that window will be a piece of cake. I wait for a couple of drunks to leave loudly the inn, and head to the pipe. As I climb my head start spining and I realise I have no idea what to do once I'm inside. Should I grab what I'm looking for, watch it for a moment and leave or should I take a more bold aprouche.
Stop that, Kabul. Focus on the climbing.
And at the second floor now. A few meters from the window. I grab some of the vines, and move toward it. The wondow is just in front oof me as I pick the tools to open it.
And then, what? And If there's someone else here? What's your plan?
A hard head shake as I try to open the window quietly. It's unlock now, all I need is to open it, and I'll be there. Just where I want. The window is open while I keep asking another number of questions. I shake them off, the window is already open, and I'm in.
A quick scan of the place. Table, couch, a water basinet, all normal here. And there's that door. With my ear pressed against it i can hear someone is in there, sleeping. A part of me push me ahead, while the other makes me want to leave. I stand still for a while.
My goal is just there, three steps away from me. Yet, I am having second thoughts.
This is not how it's suposed to happen. For you to have what you want, you should conquer, not steal it.
I watch over my back to the open window. I guess my good sense is stronger than my wishes today. I leave. BUt before doing so, I leave a small flower on the table.
Ihope she notices it.. I whisper to myself as I go down and lean to the inn's wall again.
A while back ago, I asked a wizard of some sort how the darkness spell work, how it is done, from where it comes. She had no answer to me, the conversation was over.
One day after dat, I still had the doubt in my mind. It was stuck in my head, no idea why I started thinking about that, but the fact is, it was there.
Night came, and it has been for the last couple of months, I started unwillingly, to hide from the others eyes. And by the fire, a discussion on magic took place between what I think are two aprentices on the Spellweaver Academy.
As they spoke about the weave among some other stuff, one posed the question on how to call the darkness spell. That certainly called my atention to them. I stayed hidden, hearing the explanation.
As one explained the secrets of that spell to the other, I realised that it was not what I was looking for. It apears that they do not call anything from anywhere, but actually, make light vanish for a while. I'll find a teacher of the Spellweaver, afterall, they were just students.
But again, I pose myself the question: are tere any coincidences?
She said to me something about a night shade shifter. I must go after more information on this.
The mage from the Underground city said our part of the eal was taken care of. But how can I be sure that I am no longer bound to it.
Since there's no chance someone will ever read this, there's no reason why I shouldn't put that on the paper so I can try to understand it.
It all happened when I first tried to enter that place. It was a moonless cold night, and the goblin's patrols were less disorganised than they already are. I saw the oportunity to go in while a couple of them started a dispute over a dead boar's meat. That was my chance, when I took it.
Went up those two hills avoiding every of them that were not cheering over those two fighting ones. That part was easy, demanding litle efford. When I got inside, I found a whole different picture.
Right by the entrance, a couple of well armored ones were speaking about some nonsense subject. For a moment there, I remembered Peltarch's talks by the Commons. Besides their talk, I could clearly hear drums beating and laughter. Something was going on there, I knew it. And it spiked my curiosity.
Between one and another laugh of the guards, I passed them, and headed towards the big forge. What my eyes come upon there explained the reason those patrols were more irational than ever, the drums and the cheerfullness of the humanoids: there was some sort of celebration going on there.
At that very moment, I decided to return as quickly as possible and try another day. Went back to the door, where those two guards were greeting something…. something big.
I had seem goblins working along with bugbears before, but wasn't aware they shared these kind of festivities. Could be something else, but I was in no condition to even try to find that out. I needed out. My heart started pumping faster than their drums. I needed out.
Had just to wait the endless greetings by the door to finish, and I would be out. The beats were so hard, I could feel my blood rushing along my veins. They laughed a few more times, and engaged some sort of cheering while the huge beast showed the contentes of his bag: a carcass. I needed out.
A few more taps on the shoulder and all would be over, I kept telling me. My heartbeats were so loud I could hear them over heir drums. The greetings by the door were almost done. I'd be out, I started miving for a better position.
I made a mistake.
I can't even remember what was it, but I did it, and it would cost my life, and probably any chance of finding her. I rushed myself to the darkest corner there, stayed still, hoping they would not see me. I needed out and luck. I had none of those things at that moment.
The massive being started walking towards my position. Slowly it aprouched the corner. I stood still, a few meters from where he was. Heart beats, sweat, dark corner, I was i_n_, and that thing was coming to me.
It stood there for a brief moment. It will go away, I thought. It didn't. Instead, it kept coming. I was there, still, under the dark, and that enormous thing coming towards me. I'm a dead man, I said to myself. It was sniffing around, fisrt to left, than right. And then, straight ahead. Right into me.
It arrived. It will be quick and painless, I started to ask for. It's the end. I could feel his breath in my face, it was the scent of death and decay. It's nostrils snifing a few inches from me. The eyes looking righ into where I stood still. I'd die in that dark corner. In that shadowy place, I would draw my last place. Nothing could help me. Nothing.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds. When I open them I'll be in another plane. I felt something, not much an embrace but a more of a grip. I felt I was pulled and pushed in the same moment.
Eyes open, I was still there, the humanoid going to the celebration, the gurds talking, the door, unwatched.
I left. I needed out, and out I was. Back in the woods, and a doubt in my mind.
What exactly hapenned?
And by the south gate she was again. She did not see me that day. That was a good thing, she had said that could made she driva a blade into me.
Luckly I wasn't seem.
I do not know how things are related, but it seems to me that wasn't a coincidence. Deep down in Norwick's cripts, right after one of my companions was killed, a dark man showed up. Dry, emontionless voice coming from his mouth, some sort of dark presence around him.
Altough I'm sure I would be able to leave the remaining ones behind and gather some sort of help, a pact was made, so we could leave that place. To be honest, I was the one that accepted the deal, so no-one else would be harmed, but that's not the point here… or is it?
Why did I jump into that deal so quickly remains a mystery for me. And that's why I think past events and this one are related.
I can't stop considering that my new taste for staying hidden in shadows and dark places, made me try, at least for once and for a brief moment, to embrace something dark in it's nature.
That's something I must look into from now on. But I can pose a question to me here: is everything dark, evil in its nature?
I shall seek some advice on this matter, altough no names come to mind on it.
If only she was around, she'd show me the right course of action, I'm sure. I must find her.
Deep in a dark cave, she turned, and before ofering another warm smile, said:
"It's all about trust".
If I continue to follow her around to see if she's trhustworthy, I'd be a dog.
I cannot explain this, but it is happening. Sometimes, unwilingly, I find myself hiding from everyone, in any circunstance. It used to be something I did as practice a few years ago, but now, it seems I'm loosing control over it. Especially at night.
Is it a reflex of the last year I spent in the woods hiding from everything? Is it just a consequence of my training? I do not know. All I know is that this thing is realy starting to worry me. And I don't have her to show me the way. I think I'll have to deal with this on my own.
I followed three woman to the graveyard the other day. A singer, Elsbeth, a wizzard of some sort by the name of Mistic and a priestess called Ash. This last one showed rude manners and an agressive way of dealing with the others. And some other things she say worried me.
I'll keep an eye on her for the next weeks.
I believe I'm developing a sense of humour.
The elf is following a mystery called Kabul.