Diary of a Life Reborn
The big news is that the demon portals in Jiyyd have finally been closed. I don't know the full story yet, but it's hard not to hear rumors of it. Of course, with victory came a price, some people did die in the battle, but were brought back.
One of those being Hedia. She's taking it a bit hard. Death tends to weaken the spirit when you are brought back to life, and with her she feels her connection to her goddess has lessened. She can't help but second guess herself because of it.
I can understand her pain. Faith to a divine servant is a very personal thing, I imagine. It's part of what defines them. To lose some of that would be like losing a part of yourself.
Now, despite what I'm about to write next, I want to stress one thing (even just if it's for myself and not whoever discovers this journal and reads about me). I hold no ill will toward Lorie and forgive her for what wrongs she's done to me.
The feline beast within her, that call of the Wild… It used to be mine. I had embraced it in my heart, I was as much a cat as a person sometimes. I gave that up when Lorie and I split. I do not feel the call of the Wild in me. Though I still have some feline mannerisms, I am no longer a cat.
I miss it. I am sometimes very jealous of Lorie.
If there's any proof of me forgiving her, I guess this would be it.
I move on though. There is more to me than the feline I used to be. I am still a sorceress. I am a scout. And now I'm a knight.
A knight. I still find that funny.
Poor Shae is such an innocent soul. Or sheltered, rather. She doesn't quite understand innuendo, which made for a hilarious conversation with her and Cecil. It made me think of Thorn, and how he and I used to joke around.
I really do miss him. Selûne, please make sure he's safe.
It's official now. The Knights Requietum. It'll feel funny calling myself a knight. It'll probably be funnier having people salute me. I'm excited though.
For Shae, this isn't just reviving the old Order of the Watchful Repose. The Knights Requietum will be something more. Not focused on just undead, but devils, demons, evil mages, and lycans.
That last one would make me seem to be an odd choice, I bet. Yet, I think I see what Shae is thinking of with choosing me. Lycans are complex. Yes, there are some (perhaps many) who are evil and blood-thirsty. But obviously, there are some who aren't (after all, I lived the life of one, and my sister still does). And then there are those who are simply suffering the curse of lycanthropy. I think that's where I can help the most. If we can free those of the curse rather than hunting them down, we'd save innocent lives. And we'll stop the evil ones from hurting others and spreading the curse.
So it makes sense to me for Shae to ask me to join her Knights. What surprised me is that she wants me to be a "Sword Captain Arcanus." She's making me a leader. I'll be overseeing the magical conduct of the group. If this isn't a sign that I should focus on my magic more, I don't know what is!
I'm a bit nervous, I admit. This sounds like a lot for me to take on, but this feels like an opportunity that I should not skip. So I'll be praying extra hard to Selûne to guide me in my role to come.
I also should pray some for Kathea. She was upset earlier this evening and asked me to sit with her. She told me the reason she was bothered was because she thought she got Laerune mad. She didn't seem to want to talk more about what happened. I think Kathea just wanted me there with her.
I can understand feeling bad at upsetting somebody. I know I feel bad when I do. But I can't shake the feeling that there is something more that is bothering Kathea. I especially can't help but think this considering the other night when she took Keerla, Laerune, and I into the Underdark.
Should I pry more? It seems to be something Kathea's not willing to talk about. She probably should though. I'll have to see if I can get her to open up about it.
Selûne seems to have a way of giving me a nudge in the right direction when I'm feeling down. And I can see the path clearly.
Shae Aers asked to speak with me today, and what she shared was both expected and surprising. She's extended an offer to me, and I feel it's something I should accept. It'll be good for me. I gain something I have come to realize I've been lacking.
A goal, a purpose. Something to strive for.
And something to belong to.
I feel excited by this.
Wow. This was a day. After meeting up with Leena, Arty, and Rasuil, I spent much of the day with them and Kathea in the city commons. And wow. Things exploded. Verbally I mean, not literally. I found myself a witness to a fiery discussion of arguments and insults with my niece and her friends on one side and Raryldor on the other. I knew they didn't like him prior to this, of course. And I knew he didn't like some of them, too. Still, it was a bit jarring to be there for this. Though now I know some reasons why.
Raryldor… I don't personally hate him. Honestly, I sometimes am confused by him. He often seems cold and dismissing of me in the way that I felt many of the Shesae do. Yet he's taken the time to give me some aid and warnings.
One thing I know I don't like about him is that he often lets his ego take charge. To disastrous results. And he is completely blind to that.
But perhaps what gets under my skin is the Shesae as a whole, which he is a prime representative of. I remember trying to see if I could join them. I wanted to learn more about my elven heritage, since when as a half-elf I only occasionally was able to see my father (the tribe didn't like him). But it was not to be. Thorn and Fadia both told me how many of the Shesae dislike my very existence. My body is that of an elf, but my soul isn't. I suppose some see that as an insult.
Lack of acceptance is something that seems to be a frequent obstacle of my life. Growing up, my tribe didn't accept me because I was half-elven. And then I was run out of town because I had sorcery. After making Norwick my home, I helped save it by becoming a werecat, which some people did not accept. And now that I've been split from Lorelai, I find myself lacking acceptance from the Shesae.
I know I should just let it go and be happy with the acceptance of those who call me friend and family. I am accepted, appreciated, and loved.
Still… it stings when you are shunned by a community you want to be a part of.
I happened to mention my frustrations to Kathea today. I have sorcery, but not a lot and wish to train it more. But I also need to get better at being stealthy if I am to be a scout like I try to be. Our conversation also drifted on to a certain elf that Kathea does not get along with and I mentioned my own frustrations with him. And the Shesae.
I wonder if they have come to accept my existence. I remember some were quite upset.
So I think Kathea decided to try to cheer me up. She went and asked Keerla and Laerune to join Kathea and I. (Haven't written about her yet, right? She's a friend of Keerla's. She usually has a serious attitude, but Keerla seems to bring out a happier side. Keerla's good at doing that. Her innocence is contagious.) We had a good time exploring the Underdark of all places. Obviously, I survived. Though Kat kind of worried me for a bit there. She behaved differently than she usually is. She was going to explain to me what was wrong when I was helping her out of her armor after, but the other two interrupted and she never got to. I'll have to try to remember to ask her about it later.
Also, I still need to be careful about my ears. All three teased me! I'd complain about it more, but part of me does so miss being feline. And thus I let people give me ear scritches.
I'm a grand-auntie! I can't believe it! Oh, I can't wait for Lorie to find out.
I overheard Jonni at the commons today mention about a daughter and so I just had to poke my nose into the conversation. Jonni and Elaine did get married, and have a daughter! How wonderful! This is some of the best news yet.
Keerla's doing well. She's very happy and looks to have made some good friends. And she's learning the common tongue at a brisk pace. I don't think I really have to worry about her, but I still want to keep an eye on her.
Oh, another bit of good news, I ran into Gnarl at the commons as well. He's doing pretty well as always. No sign of Romulus or Ael'Que though.
On a sad note, I really need to get better at sneaking. The orcs' wolves and worgs seemed to catch me quite easily. I feel like I let our group down with my failure. Sure, they probably weren't mad at me, but I can't help feeling like I'm incompetent.
Okay, enough being upset with myself. Focus on having a grand-niece!
A few other new friends…
Tiffany is a half-orc newly arrived to the area. She said she's from the lands around Luskan. She's not what you expect when you see a half-orc. She's articulate and skilled in scouting. I like that about her, how she defies expectations. I showed her around some of the land around Peltarch... as much as I know at least. I'll have to show her around Norwick and the Rawlinswood sometime. I'm much more familiar there, since it's my home.
There was also an elf that I over heard talk about refering to her as a former slave. Keerla's her name. I know Rary tried to talk to her about being a free person, but I think he confused and scared her more than helped her. It sounds like she was born a slave. It'll take her time to adjust. When I was able to meet Keerla briefly, I left her in the hands of Kathea. She seemed to be quite able to ease the poor girl.
I hope to see more of Keerla, and help her. While it was very long ago (my former life even), I still remember the time that the Dark Enchantress forced me to be her pet. If I can help somebody leave behind a life of slavery, I will do so.
Leandro is an interesting person. He is perhaps a bit touched in the head, but it would be wrong for me to think less of him if that's so. I've been crazy, too, after all. Leandro is quite an enthusiastic fellow when it comes to 'adventuring.' It's the most exciting thing in the world to him. But what really makes him seem crazy is that weapon and armor he uses. It's all rusted. It's rusted so much that the rust has it's own rust.
What's crazier is that he proves himself to be a fellow worth having by your side. Despite that rusted armor and blade, he is committed to the fight as much as anybody else. And he comes out on top. He's not a push over.
It's that kind of crazy that makes a good adventurer.
Aha! I finally found my diary! I thought I lost it, but it was just mixed in with Lorie's belongings.
Wow, I never realized just how much time has passed by since I last wrote in this diary. A lot has happened, certainly too much to write about here. I’ll just give some of the personal highlights.
I grew a bit bored of things and decided to explore a bit. Narfell has been my home for my whole life, and there is a huge world out there. I wanted to see some of it. So I found myself joining a merchant caravan, helping to keep it safe as he went westward. And in Damara I joined another caravan. And another after… Just traveling all over. My wanderlust eventually sated and so I came back to Narfell.
Rith's gone back to Suzail for some family stuff. I know Lorie also went for a bit to help with that.
Jerrick is gone. He's not dead, just stuck on a mountain being the guardian of something important to the Balance of Nature. I don't know anything more than that. But I know it's affected Lorie and the twins. Especially Lorie. She loves him with all her heart, and it must pain her to be away from him.
She probably tried to climb that mountain. Mustn't have gotten far, as she's in Norwick still.
At least she has her daughters, my nieces. Oh my, how they have grown! Elaine took after Lorie (and me, I guess) in becoming a sorceress, while Leena took after Jerrick and has become a druid. I'm sure Lorie and Jerrick are proud. I know I am.
I haven't seen Elaine lately, she must be traveling. But I have seen Leena. And from the sounds of it, she's gotten quite involved with the Circle. Her current problem she is trying to solve is all those demons still in Jiyyd. I don't think I can really help with that, but I'll at least provide some morale support.
I ran into Fadia as well. I have definitely got to spend more time with her.
There been other familiar and not so familiar faces. It's good to be back in Narfell.
_I can't believe I forgot this at Thorn's office. I rushed off so fast to meet up with my father at his request (again) that I forgot my diary! I wonder if Thorn took a peek at it…
Honestly, if he had, I doubt he read anything he didn't already know. Not that it would have kept him from blushing.
My return to Norwick started off quietly. It was Fight Night, but one of the dwarves was running it so there wasn't archery but an axe-throwing contest. Boxing was a bit interesting, which Jin surprisingly won. And Moonie challenged to fight off any number of people by herself. She managed to win too. It was nice seeing Moonie, Rasuil, Eluriel, and a few others. I've yet to run into Thorn, Fadia, Rith, Kiana... I have heard rumors that Thorn has been away.
Crap, I forgot to leave a note that I was leaving for a bit. You don't think he's trying to track me down, do you?
Anyhow, the night started off nicely, then took a turn for the worst. It's fitting that I ended up helping to defend the gates from an attack by the bugbears. Dear Selûne, that was a bloody and nasty battle. Their priests and mages are disturbingly proficient with their magic. The archers shoot well too. Most challenging was just the sheer numbers of bugbears. We had to retreat to the double gates, and we almost lost our ground then even! We finally managed to push them them back from the double gates and then after a rest we had one group go around town so we could catch them in a pincher attack. It worked well, though it cost Ardent her life (she came back, but it was a rough night for her, she died in the main attack too).
I nearrly died twice in that fight too. I can alrready imagine Vilmarr yelling at me. Heh.
So, back in Norwick, back to scouting, back to -
_My father sent a letter to me, asking for me to visit. It didn't sound alarming, I figured he'd ask for Lorie also if it was a life or death matter. I still made the trip as swift as I could. I ended up having a nice time with my father. He was just worried about me. He wanted to make sure that I was adapting well to my new elven body. Once I assured him that I have been healthy and well, I could see him visibly relax. I suspect that somebody must have made a comment to him that brought on this concern.
My return to Norwick was met with pleasantries as well. I unfortunately missed Fight Night; Gnarl told me he had won the Team Fight competition with Diadne and a woman named Charity. I met a new elf to the area, Jaidinn. He seems to be a polite and friendly sort. A few nights later, I was with Jaidinn as well as Ama'bael and Therean. Ama made the suggestion that we share stories of how we came to Norwick over some wine. Jin even joined us halfway through. It was a wonderful night learning interesting tidbits of each other.
I did notice Jaidinn seemed to give me an occasional curious, usually after I spoke. It must be my “accent”. Even though I no longer am a Fuzzy, that quirk of speech is still a part of me. I hope I never lose it._
Maybe Thorn's right that we all need to worry. Something is certainly afoot. Romulus told me of troubles he ran into in the crypt. Fendon… the traitor herald. But why would Fendon save Romulus and give him a warning to "beware the darkness."
I kinda got that last question answered. After we helped a man find his family's old home in the ruins of Old Norwick (his grandfather was Wald, the old man who used to hire people to fetch flour from his warehouse), I was with Thorn and something very disturbing happened. We were cloaked in darkness. Sinister darkness. Like it was alive or something. It even killed me! It also seemed like something was trying to get into Thorn's head.
This wereboar (I think?) brought me back to life. Cogg was his name. That was an odd experience. It was like he yanked me right out of the Fugue. Very disorienting. Here's the important part though... Cogg also warned us to "beware darkness." And doors.
I'm worried for Thorn now though.
_Thorn is worried. He says that his visions are coming true. He's been trying to warn people about the Chaos Spirits. I think I'm the only one that's truly listened though. I can tell he's frustrated. Granted, there haven't been any reports showing activity from these spirits in a while. I guess with most people, if it's out of sight then it is out of mind. But they are in Thorn's sight.
He's also trying to in touch with that Fey who helped Rith with her nightmares. Nightshade, that was his name, right? No, he used the elven translation of that. I hope Thorn knows what he's doing by contacting the Fey. I know the Fey did keep his end of the bargain with Rith. My trust for fey was dealt with a severe blow since the manipulations of the one who created the nightmares that trapped me. Maybe Thorn should have Jerrick give him advice? He does seem to have quite a connection to them.
And goblins seem to be getting organized and active. Damn pests. I truly wish we could cleanse the Rawlinswood of the vermin.
Note to self: Don't forget to look into enchanting. Specifically, protective charms._
Aha! I finally worked out that spell again. I can enchant my arrows for a limited time again. Or other weapons. But I rely on my bow so this spell will get the most usage on my arrows. Now to see if I can twist that magic into creating a flame…
I found Thorn today. He and I shared pastries at the Wolves' Den. He told me why he doesn't dance, and I showed him my silvery dancing outfit (to which he commented that the last thing a person would think about when seeing it is dancing).
And this time it was me flirting a bit too much. I still can't help it.
A bit of rest and back to training I went. Rith and Fadia led me into the crypt for some undead target practice, which went very well. It helps to have that fire spell on my arrows. On my spare time, I've focused more on my magic. I want that spell back to enchant my arrows.
I've seen Vilmar hanging around Eluriel a bit. With a bit of blushing on his part, which I can't help but giggle at. I have the suspicion that Eluriel's considering recruiting Vilmar into the Wolves. Just some of the things she's said to him have slight hints at it. That would really be interesting and ironic. I remember when I had joined the Wolves long ago. He seemed to think I was being a bit silly back then.
We had the Moonlight Dance last night. It's a celebration for Eilistraee, known as the Dark Maiden. She's the one drow goddess that is good, and her followers seek redemption for the drow to turn their backs on evil. Like Ty'eth. Of course, there is more to Eilistraee than just that, I really should talk to Dondiah more. The Dance was absolutely a lot of fun. The outfit I purchased for it was rather risque, but that wasn't unexpected as some of us were completely nude. I considered taking off my sheer outfit, but I decided I'd wear it since I did pay for it.
Vilmar was there, but he didn't dance. There were a few there I didn't expect, like that brute of a man known as Sogar. He even danced! Dondiah was very happy when she left, since her Dance went so well.
Dammit. I went from not having enough confidence to having too much. Golems attacked the south gate. I was helping out, and we found a portal at the Rawlinswood lake. At that point I really should have just bowed out, I mean this was getting over my head. But I stepped into the portal…
... and that's all I remember. Something killed me immediately as I emerged, I think. I'm not sure what, I just know I felt a lot of pain.
Vilmar scolded me for being an idiot. Okay, he said it nicer than that. But I was an idiot. It's funny though, it really does feel like old times with him. I'd go get involved in stuff and he would question the need to stick our necks out.
I'm going to take it easy after my visit with death, then back to training. I can't focus on that "magic weapon" spell now, I want it back.
As I came to town today there was a large group of elves, most of whom I know. My first thought was that perhaps the Shesae were having a gathering. I suppose that was not incorrect, but they were all preparing to leave on a mission to find Ty'eth, the drow from the trial. Kiana invited me along. I wasn't sure I should; the trip sounded dangerous. Some of the group mentioned we'd face duergar. I decided to go with them, however. I was too curious to know what happened to Ty'eth and there were plenty of people that I can trust with my life (and have done so before). Kiana, Rith, Fadia, Ama'bael, Therean, Faelar, Dondiah, Risternil, Jin. Oh, and a bard named Elidor. I think Rith was the only human among the group.
Relying on some scrying that Rith performed, we headed south and east toward the “Scar”. I have never seen the Scar before. I wonder if I should be glad I missed the N'jast War. At the scar we faced harpies and wyverns. I have to say the wyverns impressed me. They liked to leap high in the air and pounce on us with a powerful dive that would cause gusts that threatened to knock me down. We came to a cavern that was down one of the cliffs of the scar, and Rith was certain that was where Ty'eth headed. Inside we found a maze of caverns and doors. We ran into some duergar patrols as predicted, as well as some hook horrors. My new spell came in handy. I relied on my bow and spells the whole time. We did have a couple of scary spots. At one point, we were fighting off hook horrors behind us, while duergar charged in front.
We found Ty'eth finally, alive and looking well. He was certainly surprised to see us. We ended up helping him pilfer something from the duergar, which ended with us making a maddened retreat as “gray guard” gave chase. As far as I can understand, these would be the elite soldiers of the duergar.
So, Ty'eth is safe and sound. Though his kidnapping is still quite curious. When asked who took his answer was something like, “I am told to say that Vaxin's men took me.” Curious, no?
This trip also made me realize that I need to be a bit more confident in what I can handle. I almost didn't go because I feared I'd be useless against such foes. I handled myself very well though. Of course, it helps to be with people I know will have my back, but at least I know that I might have their back as well. I just get nervous because I cannot rely on being able to turn into a big feline with claws and teeth. I'm also not as sturdy as I was as a half-elf.
By Selûne… I don't think I could have a bigger shock in my life than the one I had today. Rith told me that Vilmar is back.
Vilmar is alive!!!
I couldn't believe her at first. Hell, I couldn't even THINK at first when she told me. It feels like a lifetime that he's been gone. Actually, it would be a lifetime to a human… I remember the day Kharbeh gave me his bow and ring vividly. I could feel the total sense and finality that Vilmar was dead then.
Yet he's alive!! And well!
And he's shocked to see me as an elf now. I did my best to explain what happened and about Lorelai. Dear Selûne, I know she's going to panic. After all, she was the "evil" side, right? Vilmar certainly remembers it that way. And I know Tojan used to call her "Evil Kitty" … and then just "Dark Kitty." I can see Vilmar's reluctance to even consider trusting her. I can't blame him.
I hope Rith or I talk to her first... try to give her the news easy.
Why do I have the feeling that won't happen?
I won third place in the recent archery contest. I'm honestly surprised I made it that far, I had some awful shots that night. I got some poison-tipped arrows as a prize. I'm not sure I like the prize. Maybe I should make a complaint?
Ael'Que and Esmeralda finally did have their wedding. I do not believe that I have ever seen Ael'Que any happier than he is right now. I'm glad for him.
Oh, I've got a new spell. Something I don't think Lorie has even. I can imbue a little bit of magic on weapons to make them more accurate and damaging. It's not much, but it should at least provide a little bit of damage to things I have trouble with like undead. I think someday I would like a spell that enchants fire into my arrows like Rith likes to do for me sometimes.