3. The Patient Files of Doktor Fritz von Stroheim

The Patient Files of Doktor Fritz von Stroheim


  • In the dark recesses of Dr. von Stroheim's office, there sits a file cabinet under lock and key. These are some of the files, patient records, and journals that reside inside it….

    Combined CA and VE Theory: A New Revolutionary Diagnosis and Treatment Plan Developed Solely by Fritz von Stroheim, PhD

    Abstract: Several leading, but inferior, scientific minds have tried to reconcile the prevailing theories of CA and VE into a singular, unified mental disorder stemming from a common brain malady. The significance of such a finding would lead to a standardize and streamlined method of treatment yielding greater success rates and….

    HA! I knew you'd try to steal my research, Dr. Stockmaan! To think I'd leave such a valuable theory just lying around where you could steal it! You insufferable dolt! Don't think I'm not close to getting this published!

    -Stroheim


  • Patient 561203 - Martoushcah "Marty" Leaffall

    Session 1 - Addendum

    Observations:
    After further thought, the initial diagnosis of DLS is not specific enough for this case. Having poured through volumes of psychiatric journals and textbooks, I was unable to locate a better match for this disorder. Hence, I will name a new syndrome after 561203.

    Updated Diagnosis:
    Marty-Equine's Syndrome (definitive case)

    Notes:
    Submit this case for inclusion in the forthcoming publication of Equestrian Based Brain Maladies and Other Perverse Mental Disorders - 96th Edition


  • Patient 561203 - Martoushcah "Marty" Leaffall

    Session 1

    Observations:
    What a magnificent specimen! Initial contact with patient 561203 occurred through random and unsolicited healing (note: this is an interesting phenomenon in and of itself and warrants further study). Patient 561203 introduced herself as Marty. Patient is a halfling female, of perhaps middling age, with average complexion and fair hair. Unfortunately, that imbecile (Dr. T. Stockmaan) was also present. And that's where the boring drivel ends! Upon my initial queries, it became overwhelmingly apparent this individual suffers from massive emotional distress. She could barely contain it! To begin with, patient 561203 immediately revealed her irrational fear of teeth. She claimed that ALL teeth were eventually going to bite and savage her. This fear was seemingly trivial and easily addressable at first, until I decided to probe deeper. Please note that Dr. Stockmaan foolishly believed we had collected enough info at this point. 561203 then spontaneously exclaimed her virginity, only to paradoxically follow up with discussions on her myriad of self fornication devices! [items include - her smoking pipe; which she has given a distinct personality to - and several carved phallus shaped objects stored in a bag under her bed; hygiene issues? {self note - thoroughly scrub hands later}] It is significant to note, that 561203 is unable to achieve climax with any of the above contraptions. As I cunningly probed deeper, the patient revealed an abnormally strong relationship with her horse. She went as far as claiming her horse was her closest friend. Truly curious! 561203 then revealed her ability to shapeshift into any animal form. Any animal form except a horse! Further inquiry revealed strong romantic urges toward this horse. Urges that of course, with the other party being a horse, were not returned. The patient manifests this rejection in her vow of celibacy and desire to watch her horse mate.

    Conclusions:
    Repressed sexual identification with horse takes form of exaggerated taboo against assuming horse form. (note: this idea was solely developed by Dr. Fritz von Stroheim)

    Diagnosis:
    Severe and Chronic Dental / Labial Syndrome

    Treatment:
    561203 should be instructed to dress up as a horse and attempt romantic relations with her horse. When 561203 realizes the emptiness and hollowness that all horses experience, the horse obsession/fantasy will begin to dissolve. When she attempts to consummate this relationship the assured failure and impracticality will finally destroy the fantasy and the malady should disappear completely.

    Notes:
    561203 is delinquent on her bill.