3. The Journal of Ael'Que Rahael

The Journal of Ael'Que Rahael


  • Everyday I spend here teaches me a little more about those I would call friends. You can go through your life thinking you know how they feel about you. Then, suddenly you get the wakeup call of reality.

    It seems that someone I knew and trusted has decided I am a user of women, and someone who is not to be trusted. This would not trouble me so much if they had approached me with it. Instead they seek to spread the lies around , causing me to lose the trust of others. Why?

    I grow so weary of this. I do not thnk I have it in me to even care anymore.


  • Note to self. If you know an area is dangerous, and a friend say"lets just take a peek". Smack em in the head and haul them away from there.

    The alternative is far to costly.


  • I once read in a book that life's greatest teacher is Pain. I always believed he meant physical pain. The kind you receiceve when you fail to block that sword thrust from an opponent. Or when as a child you burn yourself on your mothers stove and learn not to touch the hot pot. But since I have come to Narfell I have learned what he truly meant.

    Pain felt at the betrayal of those you called friends. That has taught me that I am far to trusting and kind. I have no choice left to me. That circle of friends I know I can trust has dwindled considerably. It will stay small. I know that the others will continue to bring others to our group, but in my own mind there will always be just us five.

    The pain of loss of a loved one has taught me to treasure each moment left them, for they can be swept from us as suddenly as blowing out a candle. Cara had come back to us after the loss of her son. We started on patrols again, though I could see in her eyes she was missing a part of herself. And then we died in a Horan ambush. Cara came to me in the fugue, she told me she was not coming back. We talked of many things, things I will never even write here. Then I was swept back, and she stayed behind.

    We held her funeral on the cliffs above the Eldath shrine. Though she was only half elf I thought she deserved a proper elven funeral pyre. As I stood watching the flames consume the first real friend I had when I came to Norwick, a woman of unsurpassing beauty appeared. It was Cara's goddess. Sune. She had come to take Cara home. And when the flames finally faded to ashes I realized that for the first time in years, the tears I shed had not been tears of pain but tears of happiness. I knew Cara was in a better place and more importantly, she was with her son.


  • We have the Shards, but before we could go to the Keeper Val has been taken by the Shadovar! I am trying to help in the search, but when it comes to thngs magical I am out of my league. We have to find her. I just hope she is alive when we do. But the days are passing and no further word from anyone leaves me feeling afraid for her.

    The only bright light in all this is I have spent more time with Her, time I did not think I would have. When I gave Her a gift, the look I received was almost enough to make me rethink my plans. But, that soul needs to be freed.

    But first we find Val.


  • I have found the Shield, with the help of Therean and Daviel and of course Elsbeth. It is even better then I thought it would be, a veritable wall against axe and spear. And on command it projects a circle that no sound can penetrate.

    Lately I have been deeply troubled. I purchased a soul shard from an Oscuran. He was selling the evil thing right in the middle of the commons. I did not want that to be used by someone, I knew this would destroy the soul trapped within. So I purchased it. I am sure they all thought I meant to use it myself.

    I brought it to Daisy at the Triad. I had hoped she might release the soul so it would be able to find peace. Unfortunately she could not. She did tell me the soul was that of a female mercenary who had become a slave. She said the only way to release the soul was to find the maker and convince him to do it. She told me to seek out Val, for Val had brought a similar crystal to her once before and knew much about them.

    And that is where my trouble comes from. According to Val the maker is an Immortal called the Keeper. He makes deals with lost souls, taking a piece of thier soul in trade for showing them to thier final rest. Somehow six came into the possesion of nobles from Oscura. Val had four and mine made five. We need to find the sixth. Then we can travel to the realm of the Keeper and somehow convince him to release the souls. There might only be one form of payment he will take. I have decided to pay that price if need be. I am leaving this journal here in my room. If someone finds it and is reading this, means I did not make it back.

    I just hope She knows I love her and She forgives me for not coming back.


  • Well, for the first time ever I sit and write in this Journal in my own room. I was recently promoted to Corporal in the legion and since there are so many empty rooms, Captain Benji authorized me to have one.

    Our little family continues to grow. The names are quickly becoming numerous enough to need to write them down just to keep track. But I do see a difference already. Many elves who in the past would barely acknowledge our presence now seem to seek us out. Perhaps this will lead to the founding of a new elven camp, or perhaps at least the reclaiming of the old. We can only hope and pray that this happens.

    Lastly, I have been researching a Spellsword who was rumored to have made equipment that could be used in battle against mages. Of partcular interest are the shields he enchanted. They produced a circle of silence around them which prevented many mages and evil priests from casting their spells. My research shows that at least one of these shields was used by a hero in this area. I am getting closer to it. It is just a matter of time.


  • Trusting in my family and friends was never more rewarding then it was today. Elsbeth , myself, Liisa and Vugar all went to patroll the Norwick crypts. The first side went well, but on the second side I was swarmed by the numbers of undead. My companions reacted swiftly. With Lisa and Vugar holding the doorway, almost to their death and Liisa becomiing sickened by the creatures foul bite. Elsbeth, with no hesitation leapt to my aide, managing to stop the bleeding and stabilize me. All the while her beautiful clear voice singing to bolster the others in the battle.

    The result was they were victorious, and Elsbeth saved my life. She has proven herself over and over with our small family. And though not one drop of elven flows through her veins, still I am proud to call her sister. I need to find a way to show her how much she means to us. At least I know her favorite drink now. That will be a start.


  • I almost laugh at myself as I write this. I should have learned long ago. I can only trust myself, my family, and the Swords. I was asked by Sessa to go to the crypts. I agreed, since she was strong with her gods blessings. We arrived, and she cast blessings on me and we went in. It was perfect! We defeated the first group with only minor injuries.

    Then Terno showed up. Still things went very smooth. Untill we rested. Then it changed. She cast her blessings on the bard. Leaving none for me. I guess I was foolish to assume the bard would be able to provide some magical enhancements, because he never did. And then, to my stunned disbelief, she cast her silence spell on the bard! What was worse was he told her to!

    Yes, I could have left such foolishness. Yes I did not have to run in when the bard was close to falling, so he could be healed. Had I done the selfish thing, I would have lived. Instead I sit here, lessened again. And now the lesson has been learned. Know who to trust before you go.


  • For once I am going to write about nothing but happy events! We had the dance in honor of the Seldarine. Ama'bael did a superb job organizing it and with Therean and Elsbeth and Uniel's help, it was flawless. The band and food was excellent! And then Sy'Wyn told an excellent version of the history of the elves. Followed by a beautifull poem by Ama'bael.

    I danced most of the night with Elsbeth, who has become every bit as close to me as Ama and I proudly call her Sister, though she is not of our blood. Had some dances with Elva, and Tindra, and Ama. Uniel pulled guard duty at the last minute so had to miss it. I missed her and almost let myself get bogged down with worry for her. But I knew she was alright. I saved the dress Ama had made for her though, we will just have to have our own private dance soon.


  • Well, since over half of this journal is empty, I decided not to waste the paper. I continue in my duties for the Legion, now with Uniel almost constantly by my side. A dangerous place I have had to learn the hard way. We both fell during an attack on the gates. Uniel fell first, and I have never in my life experienced such instant and blinding pain. The sense of loss and emptyness was near overwhelming. Ama grabbed us both by herself and carried us to the temple. We both recovered, a little worse for wear. While in the fugue I promised Sehanine, I would learn to fight better, both armed and unarmed. Not just better, but smarter to. I never want my Love to feel that kind of pain on my behalf.


  • I am thinking on closing this journal. Last night the Swords drank a toast to new beginnings. And has I lay here, looking over at Uniel as she sleeps, I can not help but think an all new beginning might be nice. So it just might be time close this one for good. Time to start a new one.

    Now thats strange, how in the hells do I know she is hungry? She is not even awake yet!


  • Some things you do can never be undone. The words you say can never be taken back. No matter how much you wish it to be so.


  • There is something to be said for staying busy. I have volunteered to help Ama with the dance she is organizing. And have been out patrolling with many different friends. Today Ama took me to the Peltarch public bathouse. We talked of many things, and I told her of how different I have found life to be here.

    In Chondallwood, our tribe was never as open and friendly as many of the people here. With the exception of Uniel, I never had many friends. And definately never had a woman look twice at me. Now, it seems that some women do find something in me to like, or maybe more. Here they seem to judge more on actions, then looks. And though there are some who seemed wrappped up in their own little worlds, most people will always help or listen when needed.

    Well not all people. I have often pondered how the powerfull here can so easily dismiss those of us who seek to help. The planar rifts, or alternate realities, are an example. Many of the people I know have offered to help, myself included. But when we are there,, and have even traveled to these alternates we are treated more as tagalongs, then as a member of the group.

    Last night was the last straw for me. It is bad enough that the most powerfull sorcerer I know refuses to ever take into account that not all those around him are protected from damage by magic, which gets a lot of people hurt or killed. But now as a group, he and the others have taken it upon themselves to try to stop an event that could destroy Peltarch in a matter of days! And do they warn the citizens? Give the people a chance to flee. Or take the help freely offered by others? Hell no, they are the most powerfull force in the world! No way they can lose! The truly sad thing is, I had far more respect for them before all this. Do they not remember what happened to Jiyydd when just a few thought they new everything.


  • (( The handwriting is sloppier then normal, and there are small winestains on the parchment))

    Been drinking to much today. Trying to forget I suppose. It really does not seem to work as well as I had hoped. We had a Legion patrol through the gnoll woods. Uniel was along, and Benji made her officially a Private. So that was good. We still make a good team, still can anticipate were the other will swing. It was like the old days back in Chondallwood.

    Aloura was not there,, no sign of her all week. But, that is how she is I guess. Far more secretive then others I know. Ended up drinking with Benji and Persy in the Mermaid. Did I mention Persy died? We found her body up where those dam corpsethiefs hang out. I need to patrol that area more often. Anyways, after Benji left, Yuki showed up. She is a very different girl when she drinks. Much friendlier then her usually reserved self. Almost made me think she might like me. Strange. She will probably be back to normal after she is sober.

    End of the night I gave Persy a tour of the tower. She has a great sense of humor, and managed to make me laugh a few times. We hung out down in the bunk house until the early morning hours.

    And through it all, no matter who I am talking to, I still see your face. I have heard that time heals all. That people forget the faces of past loves. How I wish I could leap forward in time to the point where I have forgotten yours.

    (( The final few stains seem to have ben left by something other then wine,,something more like water))


  • (( Hastily written in a very shaky hand))

    Note to self, stop saving potions and start using them. They do you no good when you die.


  • I sometimes dream of living a less exciting life. There have been the trips to those other realities. I have been sucked into them now four separate times. Each time it has been various versions of the N'jast war. And everytime the traitors are different. It drives it home to me how anyone can succumb to evil, either for power, or in a search for revenge.

    I have made patrols to many dangerous areas. Many times with Brothe Rarydor. It was on one of those that I died. Aloura was there. I know that both her and Rary tried to get to me, it was just to late. Raryldor was able to raise me though.

    I have spent more time with the elusive Aloura. We share many of the same type of painfull memories of loss and abandonment. I find a measure of peace when I am with her. She seems to feel the same. She is definately around far more then she has been in the past.

    Ama returned from a trip with her sister Helen. All seemed fine at first, but suddenly today she has been more reclusive. I do not know who or what has caused her to lose her usual bright and sunny smile. I can only do as any good friend would and be there for her if she wants to talk.

    And to top off the week, Uniel has returned. She went along on a trip to recover some items that belonged to an old womans friend. It was good to have her and Ama fighting by my side at the same time. I hope she sticks around a little longer this time.

    There was only one thing to ruin it and that was a man named Njall. He is a friend of Ama's. He took umbrage with Delfina,an elvin woman, who was searching some dessicated corpses that had been prey of giant spiders. He tried to order her to stop, and she ignored him. So he first tries to choke her, and when her back was turned, he smashed her in the back of the head with his axe! He only left her alone when I threatened to kill him.

    Where are these so called men from that they would attack someone weaker then themselves without hesitaton? He claimed it was out of respect for the dead? Dust in a cocoon is apparently more deserving of respect then a living woman. He reminds me of another bully here in Norwick. Both have no problem battling someone they know they can beat, but back right down when they know might get their asses kicked.


  • As the weeks pass I find myself becoming lost in my training and my duties to the Legion. The pain is still there, but it slowly is helping to temper my soul into something stronger. I have forgiven Roisian, and I have been able to find it in my heart to wish her happiness wherever she may be. I know I have received a great gift in my vision. I believe I saw Sehanine. Perhaps it was ilusion. Perhaps not. But I will live my life as if it truly was her.

    My training includes patrols with many others. Aloura, a corporal in the legion, and a priestesss of Correlen. She is as beautiful as she is illusive. A great companion and I think a true frieind, when I can find her. And Ama'bael. An elven lass who is as kind as she is deadly. It amazed me that she has a twin who is equally deadly, and beautiful. Mia, Zarius, Danika, Squeaks, Daveth, Storn, and many others. All fine companions that I know I can count on.

    Part of my self imposed training has also been giving back. I try to emulate brother Raryldor, by assisting the newer members of our community. However, I try to include all of the races, not just the elves. I feel I owe them that much. And perhaps, if a few of them pass it on, the community might be able to survive the troubles ahead alittle easier.


  • Seven days can seem like a lifetime.

    I walked out of the south gate fully intending to fight untill somethng killed me. I do not even remember which direction I traveled at first. I do remember the first death. It was a goblin, amd I killed it with my bare hands. Then I had an old dagger to use on the next one. The battles became a blurr. There was nothing for me but the rage, and the pain.

    I am was not sure how much time had passed before I became conscious of my suroundings again. It happened gradually, like waking up from a very deep sleep. I was deep underground, and my first real sensation was of a bone deep wearyness. As I became more aware, I noticed the stench of blood and death. I was surrounded by the corpses of goblins and wolves and hobgoblins. My clothing was torn, and I held a broken dagger in my hand. I could even taste the vile flavor of their blood, and as I wiped my hand across my mouth, it came away red. Thats when I noticed the level of destruction I had caused. They were not just dead, they were shredded! Some of their throats torn out, as if by a savage beast! And perhaps they were.

    "No" said a voice, as if reading my mind. "Not by a beast, just by a man."

    It was then that I noticed the light, it was as if moonlight had taken the indistinct form of a woman. I could not see her face, but an overwhelming sense of calm seemed to emanate from her. I wiped my hands across my eyes, trying to clear this illusion from my sight, but she remained.

    "Come brother" she said, "let us leave this place of death"

    I walked with her from the cave into the bright light of day. She guids me down to a small stream, where I fell to my knees. I looked up at her, trying to see her face, but it was as indistinct by daylight as it had been in the cavern. Just a gentle glow that gave a sense of calm, and surprisingly, a deep feeling of love.

    "Why brother would you so lose yourself to your darker side?"

    I fumbled for the words, and finally spoke a single word "Betrayal"

    Silently she shakes her head, and I can feel the sadness flow from her in a wave. "My poor brother, She never betrayed you. She never lied to you. Look into the water."

    And I do, at first I see only my battered and bloody face, and then slowly my face is replaced by a vision of heart rending beauty. My Rosy, my love. But her face was twisted by grief, the tears flowing down her face. And now my own began to fall. "Why is she weeping?" I asked, "why is no one helping her?"

    "There is no one Ael'Que, she did not lie to you. She had no choice but to leave. She weeps for you."

    And suddenly I knew her words were true. I felt that door open deep inside of me, the one I had refused to open, and I saw her there! And I knew, when She said she loved me forever, that was true. When She said She would think of me always, that was true. When She said She did this for me, that was true.

    I looked to the vision of light and asked "Please, go to her for me, tell her I understand, and I forgive her. Please, tell her I love her. And finally, please tell her I hope she finds happiness someday."

    "I will do this for you brother, on one condition."

    "Anything, name anything and I will do it, even to giving you my life!"

    She stares at me sadly for a moment,"Then live."

    And she was gone. And I was left kneeling by the bank, listening to the birds, and realizing for the first time in many, many weeks, I was at peace.

    "She wants me to live?" I say to the birds and the trees,"then I better get started"


  • (( The page looks torn and wrinkled as if it had been torn and crumpled before being resmoothed and placed back in the journal))

    I finally recieved word from Rosy. The first letter said she had left for Waterdeep. Said a friend had died. It was a lie. She said how much she loved and missed me. How she was thinking of me. It was a lie.

    Today I recieved another letter, and a package from her. The package contained her ring, and her wedding dress. The one I never got to see her in. And a note. She said she was leaving me. She says it was because people were after her and if they knew of me I would be in danger. That she would love me forever, and would always think of me. It was a lie.

    Well Roisian, I must thank you. You have taught me a lesson I should have learned from Rhavaniel, or from Uniel. I can not live with this pain anymore. Three heartbreaks in one year is far more then any man should ever endure. I should have learned from that first one that there was no way a woman would truly love me. Just use me for the things they need, or the protection I could provide. And when their interest is caught by something else, leave me with no word.

    I wish I could say I never loved you. I wish I could say I am glad your gone. But most of all, I wish I did not mean it when I say, thank You.

    But that would be a lie.


  • Almost a month and no word from Roisian. No one has seen her. I do not even know if she is alive or dead. All around me I see people together, sharing their lives. I will not be hurt again! First Uniel disappears for almost a year, and just when I find Rosy, she reappears. Will this happen again and again to me? No. I am better off alone. Away from the pain, and the constant sense of loss. It is time to build back the walls I have long neglected.

    Only duty will remain.