3. Of Wolf and Man: The Journal of Ras

Of Wolf and Man: The Journal of Ras


  • _Nah-ah, nah-ah..
    Now!

    I can feel the animal inside
    My resolve is weakening
    Pounding at the doors of my mind
    It's nearly overpowering!
    I cannot begin to describe
    The hunger that I feel again
    Run if you intend to survive
    For the beast is coming to life
    Taking form in the glimmer of this tainted moonlight
    Death approaches on this night

    For the animal's soul is mine
    We will be completed right before your eyes
    I have no control this time
    And now we both shall dine in Hell tonight

    I can hear it calling again
    The primal need is filling me
    Changes are about to begin
    And now my blood is boiling!
    I can see the fear in your eyes
    But you can't bring yourself to scream
    Time to shed the mortal disguise
    For the beast is coming to life
    Taking form in the glimmer of this tainted moonlight
    Death approaches on this night

    For the animal's soul is mine
    We will be completed right before your eyes
    I have no control this time
    And now we both shall dine in Hell tonight

    We begin the hunt and I
    Feel the power course as the creatures take flight
    For the kill is close and I will be satisfied
    For the smell of fear tonight
    Wakes an ancient lust that will not be denied
    You're mine!

    For the animal's soul is mine
    We will be completed right before your eyes
    I have no control this time
    And now we both shall dine in Hell tonight

    For the animal's soul is mine
    And the world around will never hear your cries
    An unholy crime
    And now we both shall dine in Hell tonight

    The Animal by Disturbed_

    Was it a tear in my soul from being tortured back to life by Bane? Was I touched as well when my mate was afflicted with the blood-sweat, tainted within the Abyss? More disturbing than either of those, was it always inside me, waiting for the right time and conditions to reveal itself?

    By the time I left the Shadow Glen once more, I was no longer the man that had arrived. Cocooned inside a shell of hatred, I embraced and refined the gifts that my ring granted me - the senses of the wild wolf pushing beyond a humans ability alone - and emerged a feral creature. Inside the first month, I had tracked down two rogue Malarites lingering in the Rawlinswood. Their deaths came swiftly, and did nothing to quench the flames that burned within. I would have to do better.. much better.

    I began to hunt not to kill, but to capture. Over considerable time I managed to sniff out and collect just over a half dozen of the Pards chosen, with each prisoner my methods were improved upon and refined further until I could stretch their agonized deaths over several days. First I began with -the rest of this line is thoroughly scratched out-. On second thought, it might be better that I don't record certain deeds. By the end, I hung what was left of their remains from the thick limbs of Irmunsil, the Tree of the Gods, and left their corpses to swing as they had made me in turn - heartless. Perhaps as some twisted gift to Gwaeron, perhaps a threat to Malar.. or more likely just the impulsive and vengeful actions of a man off his nut.

    While each victim felt like a victory, at least a part of me yet knew that ultimately the victory was Malar's. Though his chosen found their deaths at my hands, their brutal murders had changed me in ways that there would be no return from, and the beast that I set free in myself would never again be truly bound. Almost three years had passed by the time I returned to the Wolves. The War of Shadows was on the horizon, when the darkness itself would rise to threaten the lands at the beckoning of Shadovar weavers and I would find myself with little time left to dwell upon my deeds.


  • _Along deserted avenues
    Steam begins to rise
    The figures primed and ready
    Prepared for quick surprise
    He's watching for a sign
    His life is on the line

    Sworn to avenge
    Condemned to Hell
    Tempt not the blade
    All fear the Sentinel

    Dogs whine in the alleys
    Smoke is on the wind
    From deep inside its empty shell
    A cathedral bell begins
    Ringing out its toll
    A storm begins to grow

    Sworn to avenge
    Condemned to Hell
    Tempt not the blade
    All fear the Sentinel

    Amidst the upturned burned-out cars
    The challengers await
    And in their fists clutch iron bars
    With which to seal his fate
    Across his chest in scabbards rest
    The rows of throwing knives
    Whose razor points in challenged tests
    Have finished many lives

    Now facing one another
    The stand-off eats at time
    Then all at once a silence falls
    As the bell ceases its chime

    Upon this sign the challengers
    With shrieks and cries rush forth
    The knives fly out like bullets
    Upon their deadly course
    Screams of pain and agony
    Rend the silent air
    Amidst the dying bodies
    Blood runs everywhere

    The figure stands expressionless
    Impassive and alone
    Unmoved by his victory
    And the seeds of death he's sown

    Sworn to avenge
    Condemned to Hell
    Tempt not the blade
    All fear the Sentinel

    The Sentinel by Judas Priest_

    The begining of the end..

    It's been so long since the days of the Malarite wars against the Wolves, when our Pack was strong and as brothers we rode out to meet them by the dozens, again and again. I was such a different person then, so much so that it was my action that brought the truce between us. Ambushed in the Pass by a lone druid and her stained panther.. I should have killed her on sight, but instead let her believe I was a superior Wolf within the pack. It was misdirection then, although for that action it became truth. Within the year I would rise from the lowest rank to become their Beta, and groomed to take command as the next Alpha. The truce was a farce, of course. The terms later delivered asking for nothing less than the surrender of the Wolves territory and the unquestioned reign of the Malarite packs across Narfell. While our druid Alpha debated, they struck again.

    Separated from the Pack, it was my mate that they captured. Although I searched for her endlessly, begging for Gwaeron's aid and guidance to reveal the way, I would fail her. Pieces of her arrived at the Den in a small gem pouch.. just enough to make it perfectly clear who they belonged to. A greater scrying would reveal her fate and end my search, only to begin another; Chained to the trunk of a tree and used for crossbow practice, they butchered her. When the effects of the paralytic bolts began to wane, she broke free and tore the throat out of the nearest assailant, but even with her fury she was too far gone and easily overpowered again. They beat her down and dismembered her body, her meat feeding their panthers while the rest was left to rot in the sun for the carrion pickers. With her dying breath she howled to the sky, her last goodbye that would never reach my ears.

    I began my own hunt, pushing my skills to their limits as my grip on everything else around me slowly weakened. The scry could not reveal the identities of her murderers beyond their dress, so I blamed them all. It focused me, drove me and before I could realize it, wholly consumed me.. I would avenge my mate, at any cost. It soon became evident to those around me that I was slipping, before long the Pack would turn their back to me and deny their aid, my own Alpha daring to command me to cease my pursuit of vengeance. Instead I struck him, spat at his feet and exiled myself to the Shadow Glen. Desperately low on faith and devoid of Pack and mate, I was now alone in my hunt. More for me then, all the better.

    I'm not sure how long I stayed there, at first. It's difficult to keep track of time in a place that never sees light, with the constant distraction of a never ending thunderstorm raging above. It felt like weeks, but it could have been days. Beneath the massive boughs of the druids sacred tree, Irmunsil, I called out to the Gods, but Gwaeron would provide neither guidance nor sign and Malar was silent to my challenges. Like the continuous storm above, my rage and spite swelled and fed upon itself, growing into tidal waves that crashed against the dam of my failing restraint, again and again until it cracked.


  • _Dude, I totally miss you
    I really fuckin' miss you
    I'm all alone
    All the time, all the time

    Dude, I totally miss you
    The things we did together
    Where have you gone?

    Totally miss the honesty
    And special times and honestly
    I totally miss the fucked up things ya do

    Dude, I totally miss you
    I totally miss you
    Dude, I totally miss you
    All the time

    Ahhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
    aah ya-he haaa.

    Totally miss the honesty
    And special times and honestly
    I totally miss the fucked up things ya do

    Dude, I totally miss you
    I totally miss you
    Dude, I totally miss you
    All the time

    [Solo]

    Totally miss the honesty
    And special times and honestly
    I totally miss the fucked up things ya do

    Dude, I totally miss you
    I totally miss you
    Dude, I totally miss you
    All the time, all the time

    Dude (I Totally Miss You) by Tenacious D_

    Sywyn once told me, 'elven years are not themselves a blessing'. Though it's meaning I understood, the tone it was accompanied by I could not fully comprehend then. I suppose the same statement would hold up if he had told me a keen memory is not always a blessing. But if ignorance is bliss, then knowledge is agony, and hindsight can be a dangerous game. I'd thought to reflect upon a different subject and continue in the same vein; good intentions, blah blah. After a week or so of scattered nightmares, next to no sleep and trying to claw my own arm off, well.. time waits for no man, nor does it cater to the personalized priorities lists we fashion for ourselves. Instead, today I sit beneath a magical tree and reflect on a man sitting upon a magical mountain. Jerrick 'Silverfang' Rayfe.

    Despite the mountain granting him the ability to manifest himself within a range, it seems that he's still too lazy to come get me himself, rather sending word that I should seek him out in my dreams. Now, assuming something in there wasn't lost in translation, if I was any good at lucid dreaming I would have solved my own damn nightmare problem. So instead, this happened, and hopefully my subconscious will take a nugget with it and I'll figure the rest out when I get there. Sounds a little like his style already, it must be working.

    I remember sharing a great many adventure with Jer over the years, both grand and miniscule. A number of innocent walks in our early friendship, for example, turned training sessions with his simple phrase; "Just stand in front of me.. you'll be fine.".. So selfless. But I'll hand it to him, I always was, which is not to say we both frequently bit off waaay more than we could chew. Like walking in on a succubus sleepover in the Lost City, and howling with demented laughter as we ran right the hell back out with half the the city, statues and all, rising up to give a furious chase. Or when I marched with him and most of the regions veterans and/or fools towards Scythohalingfel, the dracolich, and the Wendigo they claimed was a demi-god. Though having myself been undead at the time made for a difficult climb, Jer managed to keep a few of our roaming clerics hands away from me at least, making sure my raggedy ass wasn't left behind for goblin chowder in the aftermath.

    One such reckless frolicking even saw us swarmed with countless elite greens within their own hold, our timing was ever so impeccable. While I knew that he was not one to yell 'run' lightly, it was still difficult to comply even after the miracle of finding a hole through them to do so, though I knew well I would join him in death if I did not. I took a last hopeful look as I slipped from the mass and found cover in the shade of the cave mouth, mentally mapping every trick I could throw at them in a bullrush to recover his unquestionably broken shell. Instead, all the Hells broke loose inside without me, the victorious squeals turning to terrorized shrieks as the stone shook with a massive roar. Darting back inside, those champions that still had their sense ran for their lives earning arrows in their backs, while those stunned in fear or awe were mauled and shredded by the various appendages of a very much alive, and really pissed off dire bearrick.

    Only once for all our insane escapades did we actually find an abrupt stop together, during one of the last fights of the Shadow Wars. We had a rare chance, I suppose, to offer our respects to each other for a journey shared. A number of us had set out on a rescue mission to reclaim Val Kyrie from her shadovar captors, who sought to use her incredible gifts to open the proverbial flood gate and turn the war. Every step of the ground we took was hard won and several fell along the way, allies, friends and Wolves alike. Harried by unreliable if not completely failing magic made a bad situation worse, turning to horrible quickly as the opposition seemed unaffected by the conditions. Leanna, demi-goddess and daughter of Mystra Herself, came to us on the final push where we made our peace. She allowed our magics to work, long enough for a spell or two, and in a sudden blast we were all painted in her remains. While it was a much needed reprieve, there was still a trapped door between us and our target, well beyond the skill of our trapper and deadly enough to bake several of us in a surge of electricity. I was the only one who dared to be faster than lightning, while Jerrick gave me an amulet with some minor blessings and everyone else hugged the far wall lest I failed.. but I didn't. The massive surge prickled my hairs but I narrowly managed to avoid the brunt of it, discharging the rigging and allowing us into the final chamber unharmed. Within the advantages were still theirs, at full strength with time to prepare and fortify, and within all but two of our significant party met their end by the shadovar. It was a furious battle and despite our own skill and strength the order to fall back was given, but to late. One after another we crumpled to their heavily magicked fronts and while I had the time to do so, my own retreat was removed as an option as the bodies of my fallen comrades and packmates blocked the only passage out. My fey blade sang, a piece of legend in my hand recovered from a sunken temple during the war, it's magic stripping the senses of my challengers and making their sword arms limp as I tore into them. I was the last to fall in the room and though we had lost the battle, we had inflicted enough damage to turn the results. The remaining shadovar now sealed into their own coffin as well, our surviving pair negotiated our release and that of Val, our bodies carried home on the back of a red dragon.

    I can still recall a trust exercise between Jer and Horlamin, a druid and brother of the wild, where on a whim I followed in secrecy. Taking him a ways from the gates, Jerrick made a small speech while I found some comfortable cover to dig into. As I watched, my ears perked and my skin prickled, looking back to see a shadowy figure trying to sneak their way closer to the pair as well. Giving mental credit to her attempt despite her skill lacking behind, she chose a path quite similar to mine and near the end of her pass, came to a position not two steps from my chosen shade. By then Jerrick was at the practical portion of the show but the woman had missed all the leading conversation, taking a careful lean only to witness Jerricks blades flash to life and scissor at the neck of Horlamin. She broke her cover in a blink, snapped her bow ahead and cranked back an arrow, commanding Jerrick to release her -brother- immediately. I had to fight back a betraying laugh but fluidly notched an arrow of my own, drawing it back as I rolled around the tree one step behind her and brushed the hair over her ear with the arrowhead. Her eyes turned to wide saucers as Jerricks nearly burst with pride and
    amusement, blowing her a kiss as she turned to regard me I changed her orders to 'down.. now.'. While the trio of us got a real kick out of the turn of events, Hor's sister was less than impressed, making her exit as soon as she was able and no doubt furious that she had not seen me before her move.

    So many things, meaningful and trivial, that if I were such a fool I might claim I could remember everything we'd shared together. While each stroke of the quill takes only a moment to read, in a blink it's contents play out as a day to me, a week passing in the breath of a sigh, ad nauseum. While I had no specific aim in starting this writing, it's production has proven more tiring than I had anticipated. So while I could sit to write a collection of tomes upon our shared and treasured times and still find more to add, with luck this should accomplish the task it was meant for and perhaps instead of reminiscing upon old memories, tonight I may create a new one. And should you be reading over my shoulder as you claim to watch from this very tree, perhaps I'll even dream of a hinnish pastry factory to encourage your meeting me halfway.. don't think that means I've forgotten you still owe me a duel, but for now however, I suppose it's nap time. I miss you, brother, and with any luck I'll see you soon.


  • _Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand
    Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?
    Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you
    What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy?

    If I close my eyes forever
    Will it all remain unchanged?
    If I close my eyes forever
    Will it all remain the same?

    Sometimes, its hard to hold on, so hard to hold on to my dreams
    It isn't always what it seems when you're face to face with me
    Like a dagger you stick me in the heart and taste the blood from my blade
    And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave?

    If I close my eyes forever
    Will it all remain unchanged?
    If i close my eyes forever
    Will it all remain the same?

    Will you ever take me?
    No I just can't take the pain
    Would you ever trust me?
    No I'll never feel the same

    I know I've been so hard on you
    I know I've told you lies
    If I could have just one more wish
    I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes!

    If I close my eyes forever
    Will it all remain unchanged?
    If I close my eyes forever
    will it all remain the same?

    Close your eyes.. close your eyes..
    You gotta close your eyes for me

    If I Close My Eyes Forever by Ozzy Osbourne ft. Lita Ford_

    Coming back this time was hard, like moving through thick mud on tired limbs. I wish I could say the outcome was surprising, but it was easily predictable. Trolls.. if Gwaeron still watches, I'm sure he's giving me a thorough shake of His head.

    Our party was small, too small to start with and thinned even moreso mid-hunt. We made good ground despite only a pair of us, but when things go bad it usually happens fast. The swarm of trolls broke their cover and crested the hill, pouring around my dwarven companion even as we fell back, perhaps sensing the easier leather-clad kill. I raced across the field barely managing to shake off my numerous tails and making a slow pass back. On returning most of them lay dead save the single fell troll that had given chase, now trading blows and making a good stand of it.

    I should have taken point and used my bow, Hells that's what the acid arrows were for, but even as I agreed with myself I drew closer finding an acid coated blade in my hand instead. A few steps away I lurched forward, swiping low to shear the meat behind the knee with a sizzle and using the momentum of the swing to hammer a shoulder to its back. Its often effective to bring creatures down swiftly, but the troll barely wobbled with the dual impact. Instead of moving with the blow it shifted into it, bending towards me and bringing a solid elbow down in a bone cracking strike. With my weight forward it was enough to buckle me and I earned a quick stomp before I could roll clear and back to my feet. The movement seemed to antagonize the creature further and I staggered off to recover my wind, but it would have none of it. Pursuing again I carved an arc through the field to double back to the screaming dwarf, knowing I couldn't outrun it my only chance was to out maneuver it. It worked, but only for a brief moment. With the troll distracted with staving off axe blows again, I made some ground and went for the potent heal potion, my ears twitched back at the sound of heavy bounding steps.. I don't remember hitting the ground again, only picking myself from it far from the killing floor.

    The surprises kept coming however, along with the close calls even after a hunt gone bad. I'd be asked to mentor an unlikely pup, to train them in the ways of the wild despite my shining example of survival. Admittedly, I had thought some about it previously, but I haven't taken a student since Dash. I was a much different person then and I'm just not sure of what kind of teacher I would be now. There's also a few issues that have my priority, and after coming back from death I can feel what wind I had left in my sails has dulled to a light breeze. Despite it, I carry on as I have, doing what an old lone wolf can. My infamous luck striking again in the middle of an eerie storm, when every sensible critter scurried home to wait it out I took a slow stalk through the lands. Uneventful in itself, until a patch of flora.. or was it fauna, decided to get up and try to have a go at me.

    Pieces of local creatures, animal and goblinoid held together with stalk and vine lurched its way from the treeline and charged, lashing those vicious tendrils about. I felt the sickness in my system almost immediately, probably didn't help it much flying into a frenzy to hack the angry plant-thing apart, but it beats joining the mass of tangled bits. It whipped and flailed, managing to puncture the skin on a few occasions and in one, lodging a thorn deep in my arm. I tried to rip it out once the thing was undone, but I likely made it much worse in the process. Grabbing the thorn for a tug squeezed Gods-know-what into my arm before the deflated offender literally wriggled free of my grip and jumped away from me like an overgrown flea.

    The trees swayed a macabre dance around me as they laughed, the ground threatening to fall away from me at every blink. Slowly, very slowly I managed to find the right bottle to regain myself and fight back the sickness, but some damage had been done that wouldn't be cured so easily. The next few nights after, I woke myself clawing at the skin around the thorns point of entry. The first wasn't bad but incredibly irritating for the raw patch I carved, the second however saw nails digging deeper into flesh and accompanied by nightmares the caliber of which I haven't experienced since I was tortured back to life by Bane and his puppet.

    It's been a couple days now and no scratching, no further nightmares.. and no sprouting of vines of my own. The worst, if not all of it, is likely over with but damned if that wasn't one of the more bizarre close calls I've had. Despite the strange nature of recent encounters with uppity plants, it still doesn't trump the surprise I got just a day after picking myself up from that troll stomping: A visit from an old friend, albeit a bold use of the word, simultaneously filling me with pride and excitement but also concern over his true aim.


  • _Endless waste
    Our patience runs thin
    Here we stand ready
    Let the battle begin

    Hit! back! Charge!
    As the forces arrive
    Shove! Go! Push!
    Leave no foes left alive!

    Facing the storm, battered and torn
    Fighting for our glorious land
    Come take our hand, together we stand
    Defending our glorious land

    Darkness falls
    And the screams fade away
    Home of the fallen
    And the home of the brave

    Facing the storm, battered and torn
    Fighting for our glorious land
    Come take our hand, together we stand
    Defending our glorious land

    [solo]

    Facing the storm, battered and torn
    Fighting for our glorious land
    Come take our hand, together we stand
    Defending our glorious land
    (x2)

    • Glorious Land by Sabaton_

    Weeks into the task and an uncountable number of fallen behind me, the day finally arrived. Walking the woods with Eragor, the sight ahead gave me a brief pause; three blistered goblins dressed as the one I faced alone, hobgoblin marksmen at their sides. As I considered tactics the goblins moved ahead, Eragor awaiting beside me.. fark it. My bow sang as thin trails of lightning followed my arrows home, Eragor charged to meet a pair while the third circled around to cut off my support. I met it with my blades eagerly, forgoing the tower shield in favor of a swift kill, the goblin proving skilled but not an equal to the one I had faced before. In a blur of steel and blood I sent the goblin down in time to see Eragor break from his aggressors before vanishing. The remaining pair redirected their charge towards me, closing as I tried to put a few arrows into their legs and giving me a dose of my own medicine. Tearing around a tree one of them caught me in the knee bringing me down for a royal shit kicking. Catching enough of a break to quaff a speed potion, I rolled away and exploded from the pair putting a fair gap between us in a few difficult breaths. Turning again my bow rained a volley of crackling death towards them at a furious pace, Eragor erupting from his mask of invisibility behind them working his greatsword with purpose. Catching our breath as the last one crumpled, we patched our wounds and continued on our path.

    Deeper within saw little notable resistance, the local hobgoblins fell with ease as we laid claim to the area. Coming to a ridge at the outskirts of their territory however gave us another pause. A line of blistered goblins peppered Eragor with arrows as we recoiled back into cover. Archers, no problem, close the gap. We arrived at the conclusion at the same time and rounded the trees at a sprint, as I sent cover over Eragor his charge was interrupted as another trio of blisters lept from the grass and buried their daggers into his flesh. Again we were forced back to recover ourselves, doubling back to pick off the lurkers before meeting the archers and sending them to Hell with their brothers. We left none alive though no living messenger could pass the word better than a rotting field of ones kin.

    By their transition from solitary messengers to organized groups it was clear that my efforts were beginning to get to them. Won't be long now before these upstarts begin moving their pieces on the board.


  • _I will take your final breath
    And I will be your last regret
    Cold blood runs in my blackened heart
    Tearing every soul apart

    Messenger of Death
    Wields the scythe of man's damnation
    Messenger of Death
    Hones his blade for termination

    Sin is all I feast upon
    I'm forging my crematorium
    Your tomb is waiting here for you
    Welcome to my ritual

    Messenger of Death
    Wields the scythe of man's damnation
    Messenger of Death
    Hones his blade for termination

    Death rides out from the storm, deface humanity
    There's no escape from this human calamity
    Death rides out from the storm, we turn to God and cry
    Ignored we turn to face this vengeance from the sky
    Death rides out from the storm, no time left to repent
    No quarter, no escape, no line of self defense
    Death rides out from the storm, in terror we confess
    Our voice's heard no more, his deed is merciless

    [solo]

    Death rides out from the storm, deface humanity
    There's no escape from this human calamity
    Death rides out from the storm, we turn to God and cry
    Ignored we turn to face this vengeance from the sky

    Messenger of Death
    Wields the scythe of man's damnation
    Messenger of Death
    Hones his blade for termination

    • Death by Judas Priest_

    "Spread the message" said the goblin champion. Oh I will, I thought, but not the one you gave me. Within a few more comments we would collide like two charging bulls, the creatures skill at arms matching it's boastful tongue to my surprise. For a brief few moments as I rocked back from a solid blow I wondered if it might actually beat me, and if not for the ample supply of powerful curatives I held I had to conclude it would have. "Try harder!" the little bastard goaded as a rib cracked beneath it's swing. I roared enraged and smashed it again with my shield still unable to break it's stance and followed up with a quick flurry. Those damn blisters coating it made for more than just a wretched sight, seeming to take much of the bite from my blade but it found it's mark again and again. The goblin went down swinging and by then it was hard not to take the final strike but that would have defeated the point of the stand off. Instead I followed with a hefty hilt strike and sent it into the grass for a nap, a quick attempt at a bandaging so my prize didn't bleed out before I dragged it back to the Den. The thing smelled like rotting meat and vomit, gratefully it didn't stay long before I could have it escorted to a cell elsewhere.

    Spread the message, was it's commandment, and that was just what I was going to do. Once it was out of the Den I made my way south again to make damn sure it would be received. Raid after raid against the goblinoids, all of them, most fell without even seeing their solitary attacker and were by far the lucky ones of the lot. Swift, merciless and relentless, I made the message crystal clear; these were my woods, not theirs. Albry's company was a boon on several of my incursions, together we took the holds of both the hobgoblins and the greens with ease, rooting out even those from the southern mines. Though I knew they would take notice, being rather difficult to overlook the wholesale slaughter of hundreds of kin, my true quarry refused to reveal itself as I continued carving a path of death across the Rawlins. Soon I would meet them again, and they will know there will be no surrender.


  • // And the final installment, with a big cheers to RW for her input and letting me run away with it. Enjoy.

    _Wise man said just walk this way
    To the dawn of the light
    The wind will blow into your face
    As the years pass you by
    Hear this voice from deep inside
    It's the call of your heart
    Close your eyes and you will find
    Passage out of the dark

    Here I am
    Will you send me an angel
    Here I am
    In the land of the morning star

    Wise man said just find your place
    In the eye of the storm
    Seek the roses along the way
    Just beware of the thorns

    Here I am
    Will you send me an angel
    Here I am
    In the land of the morning star

    Wise man said just raise your hand
    And reach out for the spell
    Find the door to the promised land
    Just believe in yourself
    Hear this voice from deep inside
    It's the call of your heart
    Close your eyes and you will find
    The way out of the dark

    Here I am
    Will you send me an angel
    Here I am
    In the land of the morning star
    Here I am
    Will you send me an angel
    Here I am
    In the land of the morning star

    • Send Me An Angel by the Scorpions_

    Ras awoke slowly, his thoughts webbed in a haze as he opened his eyes taking in his surroundings. Raising himself to his knees brought the ringing back in his ears and a pressure behind his eyes. Carefree bird songs played across the landscape as he took a slow look around, confirming their message; he was alone. Groaning quietly he rested his head against the fallen trunk and shut his lids again as he replayed the events that had left him here. How long ago had he left the Den? How far did he get from the bugbears camp? How long had he been lying there? Ras didn't have any answers, only one goal. He knew coming in he would have little to no chance of finding Dash. She was an accomplished stalker and an adept forest walker with years of training in covering tracks and evading detection. Hopelessness began to seep into his thoughts.

    'CAW!' The piercing sound made Rasuil jump, bringing his attention immediately to the magpie perched just ahead of him on a low hanging branch. Tilting it's head back, it rattled out a quick series of dimming tones; a laugh in any language. "Yeah that's.. great. Thanks." he said, flicking his head towards the bird. There were no definable marks on it, still a sense of familiarity hung around it. Ras recalled the numerous encounters he'd had with similar birds when he'd been lost, one had even led him to the shadow glen on his quest to find Irmunsil.

    The magpie cocked its head at the ranger, pecked at its perch and raised itself up. Ras watched for a moment and turned his head eyeing his surroundings again. The bird let out a shrill cry snapping the rangers attention back. It repeated its movements, hammering the branch with its beak and lifting its form back up slowly. "Yeah yeah." Wiping a hand down his face, Ras pushed himself to his feet. No sooner was he stable the magpie cried again and leapt from its perch, gliding through the air above him and settling on another branch behind. It struck the branch and hopped along its length, cocking its head once more at the ranger. Ras groaned again, his stomach turned with pangs of hunger. 'Tap Tap' again the bird repeated its message. "I got it, I got it.. fark." and with that the magpie lept into the air and sailed off. "Hey! Shit." Ras darted after the bird, barely managing to keep it in sight, losing it several times only to find it waiting patiently ahead preening its feathers. Panting lightly, he squinted up to it "Come on, give me a break." The bird shot back a squawk and fired itself free again, growling under his breath Ras pursued.

    The thick canopy made an accurate guess of how many hours passed impossible, as the magpie drove him mercilessly ahead through the rough terrain. Taking nourishment along the way from the occasional berry bush and handfuls of edible shoots his path crossed, Ras' stomach began to settle as he stalked the bird. The trees began to thin as they approached a small sheltered glen, a heavy fog hanging low across the forest floor. The magpie called back and dipped into it, disappearing from the rangers sight. "Slow down, damnit." his range of vision reduced, Ras' pace slowed as he slipped into the fog. The light flutter of wings drew him ahead cautiously as his eyes flicked around, straining to make out the landscape. Soon the ruffle of feathers could be heard no more as he pressed forward, gradually crouching as he progressed deeper, his senses tingling a warning but from what he couldn't see.

    'Tap tap' ahead the magpie beckoned him, Ras slowly made his way to the sound finding the bird perched comfortably as it regarded the ranger, flicking it head to the side as he came into view. Ras stopped and squinted up to the bird, expecting it to dart off again. It struck the branch again and flicked its head, Ras' eyes followed the motion slowly surveying the quiet glen.

    Through the gently shifting mist a shape took form, the distance revealing only the silhouette. A lithe figure was stretched across the ground, on all fours and hovering over another larger mass, the edge of the lower form broken by jagged curling shadows. The outstretched figure jerked and writhed, shifting slightly and repeating. Ras could hear the tear of meat and the faint snarl as it dipped. It took a moment to sink in before the scene came together; A wolf enjoying its kill. 'Fantastic' Ras thought, shooting his eyes back up to the magpie, finding its perch abandoned. Frowning, he brought his attention back to the predator before him. It was unaware of him as far as he could tell, engrossed and wasting no time in feasting on the fallen deer. Ras scanned through the glen again, the heavy mist revealing little else. A solitary wolf for such a large kill was strange he thought, his curiosity pushing him forward slowly. Closing the distance, the mist revealed its trickery and froze the ranger in place, his jaw left hanging open. The body of the wolf came into focus as Ras' blood ran cold; it was a human figure, a womans figure. Facing away and on her knees, pressed into the body of the deer as her head dipped again, the angle making it impossible to see her face. Crossing one leg over the other, he slowly side stepped as his hands raised to the hilts of his blades.

    A slight breeze danced through the trees brushing against the ranger, gently pushing his cloak forward, betraying his scent to the figure ahead a moment later. Ras tensed as she stopped, suddenly aware as she lifted her head sniffing into the wind before jerking to the side and snapping her head towards the ranger. Ras' mind struggled to comprehend the scene. Barely recognizable, the face that turned was covered in dirt and caked in blood, a fresh wave pouring down the chin and dripping onto the carcass as it dropped a rough hunk of meat from its teeth. The cold blue eyes that regarded the ranger stood out like beacons, wide with surprise.

    His chest tightened, suddenly finding himself short of air Ras raised his hands from his blades as he took another step forward. The figure hunched its back and sunk lower, hovering defensively over her kill. Shooting a quick glance down to the meal before locking onto the ranger again and licking her lips, the faint gleam of metal standing out against the blood rich tongue. Ras' shook the haze from his thoughts. "Da.. Dash?" the trials of his journey melted away at the recognition, but stopped short of relief. With a grunt she jerked back, positioning herself to face Ras directly, grabbing the deer and twitching her nostrils at him as she raised her chin, flicking her eyes over him again quickly. Catching a glimmer as he advanced, Ras' eyes flicked to the side; her weapons were cast aside carelessly, laying next to her pack on the ground a few metres away.

    "Dash, what the hell?" Taking another step forward, he froze again. Dash skittered back at the movement and bared her teeth at him. Spiking the deer with a crude flint knife previously concealed and pressed against her wrist, dragging the carcass back under her. "Whoa.. easy," raising his empty hands in front of him, "it's me, it's alright." She sniffed again and dipped her head back down to the deer, eyes still locked onto Ras. Breaking her gaze only briefly, Dash ripped another piece free of the deer with her teeth and gnashed at it, looking back up with a challenging glare. The joyous song in Ras' heart collided with the repulsion of his vision and sent a shiver up his spine.

    Pain washed over his face and formed a pit in his stomach as his mate regarded him coldly. Another step forward, Dash took two quick crouched steps back, dragging the deer with her and growling up to him. Ras stiffened as he recalled the reason for his urgency, washed aside by the sight of her it was now screaming in his mind. Softening his voice and keeping his eyes on her, he slowly made his way to the pile of gear she had cast away. "Dash.. we gotta go back." crouching slowly, he slid his deflated pack off and tucked it in hers as she returned her attention to her spoils, still growling as she loosed another chunk free with a jerk. Strapping her blades to the outside of it and breaking down the bow to link under the top flap, he secured the gear onto her pack and rose. "We gotta go back to the Den, alright?" taking a few cautious steps forward brought her attention back to him. Keeping his hands out to his sides, he closed with a slow and steady pace, "If anything happens out here.." She sniffed and straightened, her gaze dancing from his hands to his eyes as he approached. "Just.. let me help you." eight feet away.. he slid forward, his movements slow and measured.. six feet. Her nostrils twitched as her brow furled, Ras was unsure how much she could understand, if anything. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her, wanted to taste her on his lips, but he could see clearly from her reactions, her mannerisms, she was animal. Four feet. He lowered himself slowly and extended his hand, her lips curling as he spoke, "I'm not going to hurt you."

    Snarling, Dash lunged forward. Recoiling in surprise, the momentum worked against him as she drove into him, sending him to the ground. She scurried on top of him pinning an arm in the process, his free hand up in defense wrapped around hers, inches from his neck as she brought the flint knife down. "Dash!" he cried as she pressed her free hand on the other, the blade sinking beneath Ras' jaw and settling against his neck. "Da!-nnh" the sheen of blood coating her made a firm grip impossible as he lifted his chin, the blade biting into his flesh. Whispering through clenched teeth he stared into her fierce blue gaze "Dash.. stop. It's Ras.." He swallowed hard, feeling the thin trickle of blood run to the back of his neck, knowing his white knuckled grip couldn't last. Her wide eyes revealed panic and rage as she looked down, teeth bared as Ras' mind raced. Certain his end was fast approaching, he closed his eyes, a stream of memories of them together played behind his lids. A tear escaped and ran across his temple, his face slowly turning serene as he whispered his final words, "I love you."

    The seconds dragged, Ras felt the tremble in her causing the trail of blood down his neck to widen slightly. An impact against his cheek made him wince and suck a surprised gasp through his nose. He opened his eyes slowly as another bloody tear rained down on him, the pressure of the flint blade against his neck lessening. The expression looking down had changed, savagery had given way to pain and confusion. Ras saw the faint glimmer of recognition, but he didn't dare move. He was still at her mercy and one wrong movement, one wrong word and it would be done. Frozen, he watched the battle play out across her face. Words caught in her throat as she swallowed and grit her teeth. Snarling a breath in she screamed down at him and jerked herself back, scampering off a short distance and coming to rest curled on the balls of her feet, one arm hugging her knees the other outstretched to the ground to stabilize. Ras gasped and put a hand to his throat, rising quickly and checking the amount of blood on his hand, he let out a shuddered breath.

    Dash trembled before him, a quiet whimper escaping from her as she clawed at the earth. Taking a few slow breaths, Ras steeled his nerves and began again. "Please.. Dash," she swiped at the ground, sending a spray of fallen leaves and dirt cascading behind her, "look at me." She
    screamed again and hammered at the ground. "Look at me." With a grunt she threw the flint blade behind her, the weapon skidding harmlessly across the ground. With a loud sniffle she turned her head slowly as Ras took a few steps towards her. Placing his hand over his heart, he pleaded, "Come home.." taking the final steps to close the distance, "just, come home." She lunged again, for a brief moment Ras cursed himself before she drove into him again. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she buried her face against his shoulder sobbing, stopping only to bite down on the collar of his leathers sending another pained cry through her teeth as she gnawed. Slowly he brought his arms around her, pressing her tightly and knitting a hand through her hair "It's okay.. you're okay." Ras felt her tense and tighten her grip before slowly relaxing, maybe he was getting through or maybe it was just the sound of his voice, he still wasn't sure. From here she was just as deadly, one twist of her head and she could have his throat in her teeth instead. He pressed his cheek against her head and let out a slow breath, rubbing his hand along her back "Come on love, let's go home." He relaxed his grip as she slowly did the same, releasing her hold on his leathers as he slid back to collect her belongings, shouldering her pack.

    The journey back was grueling and slow, taking wide paths around known camps and sticking to denser parts of the Rawlins to lessen the chance of encounters. They stopped several times as Dash battled with herself, slipping in and out of her feral state. Keeping her close, Ras grounded her with his soothing touch and calming voice. Hoping the worst had passed, it was all he could do to keep her attention on him as they stalked north. The treeline thinned as they made their way to the edge of the Rawlins, the usual inhabitants were sparse either driven away by local adventurers or simply off somewhere else. Ras didn't know and didn't care, driven beyond exhaustion he would take any blessing he was handed no matter how small. Despite the fortune he chose the longer path, arcing north west and guiding them through the wooded pass, avoiding Norwick and its denizens completely. Dash's movements had relaxed somewhat the closer they got to the Den, through a sense of familiarity or simply fatigue caused by waves of fleeting adrenaline. As the entrance came into view, Ras wondered if this was just a phase of the drug or if their trials were just beginning. How long would her state last and how much would she remember, if anything. The questions were pushed aside for another day as they slipped inside finding the Den vacant for the moment. Faces hanging with exhaustion, they had earned their rest. Making their way to the rear, an uncomfortable sleep would find them both shorty after as they curled around each other beside the fire.


  • // Continued from above, part 2/3

    _They pound their fists upon your door
    They want your blood and you know what for
    You tried to say you got suckered in
    Each new excuse is wearing thin

    Suddenly out of the blue
    You change your colours, now look at you
    You don't talk so loud, now your luck's run out
    You got to the top and there's no way down

    You'd better stay alive
    You are running out of time

    Just when you think you'll win, well think again
    The walls cave in
    Oh! you thought you'd won the fight and then
    The walls cave in

    Just you and me, me and you
    Face to face, we're gonna see this though
    You're gonna choke and they broke your will
    And their closing in, now they sense a kill

    Your gonna lose, you got it wrong
    So don't pretend you sing a different song
    You're under attack and the odds are stacked
    And there's no escape, there's no way back
    You're always gonna lose
    Too late, you had your chance to choose

    Just when you think you'll win, well think again
    The walls cave in
    Oh! you're gonna pay the price
    And it's down to just me and you

    Oh! the bigger that you are
    They say the harder that you fall

    Just when you think you'll win, well think again
    The walls cave in
    When you got a grip on victory
    You let it slip
    Just as you think that you Will take the prize
    You always lose
    Oh! when you think that you will win
    The walls cave in

    • Walls Cave In by Glenn Tipton_

    With the aid of his panther, Rasuil made exceptional time cutting south through the Rawlins and the greenskins territory. Though he could have stalked across their lands, it was a slow process and not without it's risks. He couldn't afford a confrontation so early, couldn't risk being driven back before he had found his objective. The words of Lycka and Aelthas rang in his memory driving him forward, before long the thick woods giving way to scattered ruins. The air was thicker here, sounds of the local wildlife sparse and cautious. Keeping himself low, he advanced through the bugbears territory without hesitation, and without a discernable direction. With a singular purpose he slid through the shifting patrols, circled with the rotating guards and eased passed the disinterested lookouts. Days into the hunt had revealed nothing but more bugbears. Allowing himself only short intervals to rest every few hours, he took light meals and settled into something more akin to a meditative state than sleep proper before blindly setting off again. Fatigue threatened his senses and burned at his eyes.

    Passing by the outskirts of one of their camps, a misstep onto a decaying twig had alerted one of the nearby lookouts with a crisp snap. Surprised back into awareness, Ras dipped and pitched a stone off to the side as he slid forward into the grass. Reaching the base of a large tree, he rolled around to look behind as the bugbear strolled past, nostrils twitching as it scanned the brush. He held his breath as the creature stopped only a few feet away, smacking its lips loudly and letting a rumble flow from its chest. The bugbear considered the scene for a moment, before giving a final snort and turning back towards the camp. Silently cursing himself, Ras let out his breath slowly and pressed ahead, gliding from the trees to nearby ruined walls using every piece of cover he could find to move forward.

    Behind him, the lookout grunted and barked to a few others lingering near a small fire. Ras pressed his back against a tree and leaned to take a glance back. The bugbear lookout growled again at another, crouched by the fire for only a moment longer before it lunged forward, shoving against the lookout and driving it back a few steps. The lookout roared in anger, the scattered bugbears around the campsite belched amused comments in a guttural tongue as they slowly turned and gathered to watch the spectacle. The pair barked and snarled their challenges to each other as they began to circle. Every bit as enthralled as the ever closing ring of predators, Ras watched on.

    They connected to the howls of the onlookers, nearly a dozen strong now, the echo of meat against meat shattering into the trees. Ras knew full well the power behind their swings, and watching the two of them unleash on each other was a lesson in ferocity. Any other time and he might have stayed to study the interaction further, but time threatened to widen the gap between him and his quarry. Reaffirming his task, he turned to the sound of approaching thunder as a gasp caught in his throat. A split second to register the wall of steel bearing down on him, the bugbear tucked behind his shield taking the last few steps at an impossible pace, slamming the ranger against the tree as he rose. Ras' world flashed white as it connected driving the air from his lungs, the crack of his ribs inaudible over the roar of the bugbear now craning his head over the top of his shield and spraying spittle across the rangers face. Ras squirmed an arm towards his belt and wrestled his short sword free of its scabbard, nearly losing his grip as the bugbear pressed again setting his chest on fire with pain.

    There was nothing to strike, no way he could see to get around the shield for anything more than a glancing wound. Desperation gripped at him as his vision cleared enough to see the sickening gleam in the bugbears eyes. From the change in tone of the howls coming from behind him, Ras knew the others had given up their sport and were eager to see the victorious guards catch. He gripped his short sword tightly and twisted his wrist with a jerk just beneath the shield, the acid coated blade biting high into the thigh of the creature with a faint hiss. The bugbear yelped and lurched back in surprise, releasing the ranger allowing him to slump to the ground. His right hand clawed franticly into a pouch on his belt as he sucked in a searing half-breath. Spots danced through his vision as he looked around wildly, a large bush nestled against an old tree stump nearly eight feet away was his only option for cover. Ras jerked in the opposite direction as he slammed the freed smoke bomb from his pouch into the base of the tree, the force setting the reaction in motion and sending a cloud of thick smoke billowing up from him. A second later and they were both consumed, Ras rolled back and took the few awkward steps towards the bush, landing hard in its scratchy embrace.

    His former captor roared in the cloud before taking a few steps back, waving his shield at the smoke. The fake didn't work, the bugbear remained still, searching and sneering at the smoke as his brethren continued to close from behind, their pace now quickened. Ras knew there would be no way out from his chosen cover, over a dozen sets of eyes were aware of him scanning greedily as they got closer. Time for his next trick. With a shaky hand he drew his pack around and reached in, producing a small bottle with a milky viscous fluid. He looked at the bottle swishing its contents questioningly for a moment, dark dregs swirling around the bottom; the crunch of brush a few feet away made the decision easy. Flicking the cork free with his thumb, he knocked the potion back and slammed his eyes shut.

    Ras didn't know alot about shape shifting; he found the transformation itself, at the very least, unsettling to watch. He had been changed four times against his will however, first into a tree by the Keeper of Irmunsil, later into a badger and a chicken by a crazed gnome outside of Norwick, and finally into a towering golem by the mad wizard Izakiel. All of those events happened without warning, and perhaps through the sheer shock of it were less painful than he had expected. He also didn't know alot about the potion he had just consumed. Created by the goblin Eggbutt, known for his bizarre experiments, Ras knew only that it held the power to change ones shape.

    Eyes fixed tight, Ras concentrated on a majestic falcon, one of the fastest birds of prey in the air and one of the most nimble. He could almost feel himself bursting through the trees and soaring to freedom high above the reach of his would-be executioners. His chest rippled sending waves of agonizing pain as his broken ribs rubbed against each other, forcing him to suck air through his clenched teeth. He heard the grunt, no more than a few steps away, had they heard him as well? He began to wonder if the potion would have time to take its course, or if he would shift in two separate pieces if the bugbear chopped into the bush. His chest rippled again, this time the rest of his body followed as his muscles contorted and writhed in protest. His cheeks twitched as a sweat formed across his brow, the pain was nearly unbearable as a new wave of spots formed behind his lids. Another convulsion, closer together and more violent than the last found Ras unable to restrain himself any longer as he cried out and curled in on himself.

    The bugbear moved ahead slowly, the cloud of smoke quickly dissipating. Hunched over and sniffing at the brush it swayed ahead in loose search. Straightening itself suddenly as the bush ahead shivered, he took a step closer and squinted into it. The anguished cry of the ranger erupted suddenly, causing the creature to recoil in surprise before becoming enraged. Gripping its bastard sword it rumbled a laugh as it brought the steel down in a swift high arc into the center of the bush. Twigs and leaves exploded, nearly concealing the small figure hurtling into the air with a high pitched shriek. The bugbear, denied his kill swung wildly into the air as it roared before bringing his blade against the remains of the bush, spitting on its broken and empty form.

    The sound of the crashing bush still echoed in Ras' ears like the crack of a hundred lightning strikes. Half dazed he raced ahead, metres above the forest floor trying to shake the buzzing from his ears as his senses began to return. 'Holy shit, it worked!' He thought as he flapped his arms a few times, trying not to focus on his spasming back 'Faster.. High.. err' . He caught sight of his hand as he dipped in the air, his eyes widening as his mind raced into gear. Flicking his head back quickly he spotted his wings thrumming aggressively through the air. 'Pixie? I'm a farkin' Pixie!?' A cocktail of thoughts and emotions collided as he dipped lower again before collecting himself 'Fark it, too late now..' he conceded. Curling his hands into fists and pressing an arm into his side he rocketed ahead and regained his height, zipping almost playfully through the upper branches of the canopy.

    'Gotta hand it to you Eggbutt,' he thought as he sailed through the Rawlins, 'you were one crafty-' "Fark!". Ras' toes curled as he brought his knees up, somersaulting through the air and narrowly avoiding the network of branches. His insides twisted and knotted as he plummeted, he kicked at the air in a vain attempt to right himself setting another wave of cramping in motion. His muscles rippled again forcing his wings from their rhythm. 'Down! I gotta go down.. I'm -going- down!' He arched his back and flexed demanding his muscles obey, managing to slow his rapid decent in a deafening buzz as he veered around a tree. 'Goblin shite.. not yet..' but the strange brew had run its course. The final wave was far more excruciating, every muscle and tendon on fire as they tore and changed. The forest spun around him, stripping his sense of direction before the wave of pain finally stole his consciousness.

    Returned to his natural form, Ras took the last few metres hard skidding across the ground and slamming into the trunk of a fallen tree. The impact woke him, his eyes flashing around wildly. Bringing his hand to the ground to push himself up to his knees wracked his body with another searing wave. He rocked in place and curled in on himself trying to draw a breath, pressing his other hand to his side as he dragged his forehead across the ground. His diaphragm shuddered and released allowing him a quick draw, blowing it out quickly again. Another breath, deeper this time as he sat up, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He pressed his hand tighter and let the air out of his lungs in a shaky burst, calling on his healing gifts. His side twitched as the tingle of magic rushed across it. Taking a lungful before his spell peaked, along with a handful of earth trying not to tense as his bones knitted back together forcing muscle out of their path and reclaiming their rightful position. His head rang and his mind swam, the forest before him dimming and swaying in his vision.

    'Keep moving..' He clawed at the dirt and crawled alongside the fallen trunk, willpower the only strength left in his body. He pulled himself forward another handful and his arm buckled beneath him, his face bouncing off the cool earth without resistance. The flora spun and danced before Ras' eyes as they slowly rolled back, his mouth salivating with a wave of nausea. With a final huff unsettling a tiny cloud of dirt, his body slumped as darkness claimed his world again.


  • // Not an entry proper, the following events are simply recorded here for lack of a better place for them to be.

    _The night has a thousand eyes
    But he moves in only places
    Where the eyes can never be
    The night tells a thousand lies
    And when you wake up in the morning
    Were you dreaming, screaming
    Tryin to hide your burnin' heart
    Before somebody cuts it all away

    Sunset superman
    Sunset superman
    Sunset superman

    Somebody start the game
    And the dark will just get louder
    As it shouts away the light
    A shadow without a name
    But when he wakes up in the morning
    He just won't know, was he a hero
    Trying to hide his burning heart
    Before somebody cuts it all away

    Sunset superman
    Sunset superman
    Sunset superman
    Anybody can
    Sunset superman

    The night has a thousand eyes
    But he moves in only places
    Where the eyes can never be
    The night tells a thousand lies
    And when you wake up in the morning
    Were you dreaming, screaming
    Tryin to hide your broken heart
    Before somebody cuts it all away

    Sunset superman |
    Sunset superman |x7
    Sunset superman |

    • Sunset Superman by Dio_

    Ras had seen the amount of supplies Dash had gathered, from that he could estimate the range she could achieve.. it was extensive, and so were the Rawlins. He wouldn't have any luxuries with him this time, he needed speed, needed to travel light. Stuffing all but the bare essentials into his chest, he erupted from the Den bearing only his weapons and a deflated pack slung over a shoulder. Time was against him, but he had to hold onto the hope that her present condition would slow her down, forcing her to detour certain areas and avoid others completely. She had several days ahead of him, and had given only one word as to her destination; South.

    A moment to pray for guidance was all he afforded before he was back on the Nars. Dipping into his pack he produced his first trick, the potion of speed acquired just a few days ago. Knocking it back his pulse quickened, his acute hearing throbbing as the blood rushed in his ears. A few testing steps found him at the edge of the nearby woods as a grin played across his face. Crouching low and lunging towards Norwick, the passing trees seemed a solid mass. The walls were quickly in sight, gates left wide again he sailed through the town effortlessly, a trail of dust in his wake.

    A quick stop into Gemli's, the coins still dancing on the counter as Ras made his way back outside. The dwarfs startled "Oi!" drowned out by the slamming door. South. He burst from the town gates to the tune of surprised adventurers at the fireside and tore across the open field. An earlier patrol had left the ruins settled for the moment, the hanging fog swirling behind him as he made the lake without incident. Breaking through the treeline and entering the Rawlins, the speed the potion had granted him began to fade, his sudden entrance attracting the attention of a nearby group of goblins. Ignoring the burning in his muscles he readied his longbow, and with a few well placed arrows, the goblin patrol was no more. A loud crack beside him sent a light spray of bark into the air. He spun to see a lone goblin in the distance cursing to himself as he nestled another stone into his sling.

    "I don't have time for this.." He muttered under his helm. As he reached into his quiver again, he caught the shadow moving through the grass behind the goblin. Turning to face the attacker and squaring his shoulders as if to taunt a second try, Ras allowed himself the moment to watch what he knew was coming. The goblin spit and cursed again bringing the sling spinning above his head, in the same moment a massive black paw brought the sling, goblin and all smashing to the ground. The panther emerged setting his front paws atop his catch with a playful purr. With a quick look to Ras, its shoulders rising up before bringing it's weight crushing down onto the greenskin with an audible snap. Hoping off the mangled goblin, it manages a final kick at the air before accepting release and sinking lifeless into the dirt. In a few long and effortless strides, the panther had cleared the distance to nudge affectionately against his humans leg.

    "Nice work Azrael." Crouching to scratch under the beasts jaw, Rasuil scanned further south. He could see the shapes of several more ahead, fading in and out of the thickening mist. Lookouts with short bows were making their patrols, beyond them he could see a few clutching scrolls with the occasional sway of grass moving against the wind.. sneaks. "You gotta stay here boy.. you can't help me this time." Already several days behind, Ras knew he couldn't afford the time of carving a path ahead.

    Azrael gave a disapproving growl as he sauntered a few steps away, making his own sweep of the land ahead. Whiskers twitching in the wind as he lifted his head, taking in the scents and licking his lips. Satisfied, the panther turned back and gave another passing rub against the ranger. "I know Az.. bu-hey!" His pass complete, Azrael wasted no time, kicking up dirt and leaves as it lunged ahead. "Az wait!" Ras called after, but the 200 pound cat had already found the first goblin on his path. The unsuspecting creature had only a moment to realize his time had come, spinning to meet the beast as it slammed into him like a runaway stegadon. It squeaked a protest as it tumbled through the brush, bringing the attention of its fellows. Arrows sang into the mist from unseen archers, casters muttered and shrieked their blessings as the shadowy figure tore through the thicket. South west then changing suddenly, Azrael headed straight through the ranks of the goblins, his growl thrumming with every lunging step. A few swatted at the air as he approached, others dove for cover as he passed, but with a few outraged cries from the nearby shaman, the goblin horde collected and gave chase.

    Ras watched in near disbelief as his path was cleared, tipping his head and whispering a thanks as his panther disappeared from sight. The shrieks and yips of the pursuers trailed off and grew quiet as the ranger slid through the trees unchallenged. Taking advantage of the moment and drawing a deep breath, tilting his head back to let out a long and searching howl into the darkened woods ahead before slipping into the shadows.


  • _We all come in from the cold, we come down from the wire
    And everybody warms themselves to a different fire
    When sometimes we get burned, you'd think sometime we'd learn
    The one you love is the one that should take you higher
    You ain't got no one, you better go back out and find her

    Just like children hiding in a closet, can't tell what's going on outside
    Sometimes we're so far off the beaten track, we get taken for a ride
    By a parlor trick or some words of wit, a hidden hand up a sleeve
    To think the one you love could hurt you now is a little hard to believe
    But everybody, darling, sometimes bites the hand that feeds

    When I look around, everybody always brings me down
    Well is it them or me, well I just can't see but there ain't no peace to be found
    But if someone really cared, well they'd take the time to spare
    A moment to try and understand another one's despair
    Remember in this game we call life that no one said it's fair

    Breakdown, let me hear it now
    Breakdown, let me hear it now, yeah
    Breakdown, let me hear it now
    Get down with your bad self

    (Guitar Solo)

    I've come to know the cold, I think of it as home
    When there ain't enough of me to go around I'd rather be left alone
    But if I call you out of habit, I'm outta love and I gotta have it
    Would you give it to me if I fit your needs like when we both knew we had it
    But now the damage's done and we're back out on the run
    Funny how everything was roses when we held onto the guns
    But just because you're winning don't mean you're the lucky ones

    • (excerpt) Breakdown by Guns 'n' Roses_

    Well, things definitely could have gone better, but they could have gone much worse as well. More questions were probably raised than things were settled, but, not the time. I put her in tears, and drove her from my side.. it's funny; I've talked myself out of capture, talked myself out of death itself on more than one occasion, even saved the lives of others with my words alone when the need was there.. but when I -want- that skill, that sweet silver tongue always seems to fail me.

    I brought her to the pond near the Glen, badgers had taken up residence in my usual spot.. the irony was not lost on me. I tried to go slow, unsure of my own words and how they would be taken, she began to withdraw.. claiming to not recall the event in question, fueling her agitation. She defended with 'everybody knows it's the past', it was like a sucker punch from an umberhulk. She doesn't seem to understand the past is not left in the past, despite how much you say it is or want it to be. I called her on it. Her words sucked the air from my lungs and validated my own even as she disputed them. Tears ran unchecked as she rose in anger, I couldn't bring myself to return the words she used when she had told me, seeing her like that.. I would have lost my own composure if I had, which was already paper thin. Then the elvish poured from her like the waterfall we stood across from. I caught a few words, but between the speed and the flood of emotion bringing her wild side to the forefront, I never stood a chance at following her. I tried to press again, drive my point home setting aside the hurt that she failed to see in exchange for the greater problem this could, and possibly has caused already. She stormed off.

    I gave her some time, fortunately she didn't go far.. I found her outside Jerricks place curled into a ball against the trees. I surrendered. My points were lost, and to hunt her down to attempt another round would have secured her loss. I wiped her tears away, apologized for the way it went down, for hurting her like this.. and then there were no more words to be said. We let our bodies do the talking, twice beside the fire, collapsing in each others embrace as we drifted off now emotionally and physically drained.

    Was it cowardice or mercy that stilled my tongue, it's hard to say.. an act of preservation to be sure. Our love was never in question, but it has given rise to so many.. maybe I am just a fool who's been blinded, and maybe I'm alright with that.. some part of me has to be at least. Answers will come in their own time, I'm sure of it, but patience is a demanding virtue.


  • _Let me hear you scream!

    I'm black and blue, beat up, but still I take the blows
    Cause all I need is blood and sweat and skin and bones
    I'll take this rage, rattle your cage, nobody said it's easy
    It's do or die, only the strong survive

    Get ready for the last stand
    Get ready, I'm your hangman

    {chorus}
    Let me hear you scream like you want it
    Let me hear you yell like you mean it
    If you're gonna go down, go loud
    Go strong, go proud
    Go on, go hard or go home
    Let me hear you, let me hear you
    Let me hear you scream!

    I'll pull you up and push you right back in your place
    I'll take you down and wipe that smile right off your face
    I'll watch you break, your mine to take
    Don't blink you just might miss it
    It's all or nothing, nowhere left to run

    Are you ready for the last fight
    Get ready with the war cry

    [chorus]

    [Guitar Solo]

    [chorus x2]

    • Let Me Hear You Scream by Ozzy Osbourne_

    Goblin hunting alone, went great till the last few when a shaman got one of their spells off on me. I resisted whatever it was, but I could feel it lingering trying to overpower my system. On the way back, I ran into Rain and we headed to Hobgoblin territory. They had no chance against us, not even with their hulk. By the end, Rain seemed to know something was up, though she said nothing.. She could see the damage the hobgoblins had done to me, but with my helm on was likely unaware of the disease coursing through my blood. We headed back after there was nothing left standing but us.

    Recovering near the gates I got suckered into heading into the crypts. We had planned to go into the underdark, we didn't make it. Not too far into the trip we encountered shadows.. and then, we were overrun by shadows and encased in an unnatural darkness as we withdrew. Others came in from behind us, forcing us to fight our way out of the way we thought we had sufficiently cleared. I was drained several times as they swarmed me, if not for Belma'r I would have fallen behind as it was everything I could do to simply crawl ahead.. but we all made it out.

    From there, and another recovery at the gates, I was picked up by Lycka and a few others and enlisted as a mule. We headed into the Gnoll woods on the hunt for ore, we didn't find any, but we brought down a ton of the critters. With Lycka's spell of strength on me, and the grace of Gwaeron, I was able to get the most out of my bow.. even brought down a few gnolls with a single well placed arrow. As we left, another small group was heading in. We had carved a rather tight path straight to their cave, I broke off and joined the smaller group and led them to the untouched areas.. we finished the job, even their bitchy scythe wielders.

    More time to heal and a boxing match against Einrihch at the south gates.. Lycka and Ronan were in the mood for some adventure, I brought Azrael along and Roro brought a magnificent snow leopard. They were with us until we got deeper into hobgoblin territory, where we sent our respective companions to guard our rears from the shadows. With the devastation we brought to them, I don't think we had much to worry about that. I brought many of them down in one clean shot, I think I actually managed to impress Lycka.. not that that stopped her from riding me like a pony, figuratively of course, but it was all in good fun.

    I have to hand it to Lycka though, her presence and constant verbal jabs at me were refreshing, and suitably distracting. As if she sensed the tension within, she kept me smiling and on my toes, and by the end of a couple days of that I daresay my smile was genuine. Now however, there is no one here to distract me from my own thoughts. Nothing here to manifest the pain into the physical. Physical wounds you can heal, bandage, take your time and recover from.. what the hell do I do with -this-? Betrayed again, and this time by my love, my own mate. I dread the conversation to come, and question my own reaction when I see her again. I try to think ahead, and my thoughts are wrapped in a haze.. I don't even have anybody left I trust to talk it through, not on that level anyway. No, this is personal, and private, and it could be the last conversation I ever hold in these lands if it goes sour.


  • _Silence, we hunt for the Queen
    Sign of the cross, and pray in between
    Look by the light of the day
    She's hiding till dark, waiting to play

    Something's taken a child and it all must end
    Time to be killing the dragon again

    Silence, we'll hunt for the lord
    He takes crimson and gold, gave ice to the cold
    Oh to be never afraid
    Of Wolves at the door, howling for more

    More's been empty for years and it all must end
    Time to be killing the dragon again

    Kneel and behold your new king
    Digital dreams and wonderful things to tease you
    Small Gods with electrical hearts and it all will end
    Time to be killing the dragon

    • Killing the Dragon by Dio_
      You'd think with all we've accomplished, I'd have more time to write in this thing, maybe even catch up a little..
      The Dracolich Scythohalingfel has been laid to waste for the last time, his tower along with it. Never before have I seen so many come together for a single purpose, it's amazing that we were able to stem chaos from seeping into our ranks.. for the most part. The Lost City where it had made it's lair was a sight to behold. A return for many that marched with us, I had only heard tales of the site before.. they hardly did it justice. It's almost a shame that our goal drove us forward as it did, I'm sure that I only got to see a fraction of the City itself, though it's not exactly the kind of place to go sight seeing just for the sake of it. As it was, we were continuously under attack from the moment Norwick faded from our sight, to dig in or to waver in our destination would have been only to settle for our graves.

    A curious condition picked up but a day before heading out had left me quite vulnerable and hardly at my best, but I pressed on anyway. Even in my state I could contribute, and would until my last breath. Bringing down the creature and his allies was bigger than any of us, but would require all of us, there was no excuse that I could find acceptable to remain behind. It took almost a day after we had returned, but I did manage to recover from my affliction.. still don't fully understand it, but I'm glad it's gone anyway.

    That's not all that's gone however. We lost a few on the way, all of them were recovered on our return.. all except one, Yngdir. I was rear guard, but it wasn't hard to hear the sounds of battle raging from the front lines.. then the screaming started.. then everything went black for what seemed like an hour.. more screaming, the rush of air as others ran passed me.. an experience all too familiar. Just as one had in the spiders nest long ago, the Hezrou tore through our ranks with brutal efficiency. We withdrew from his chamber and sealed the door, his angry howls echoing many of our own for altogether different reasons.

    Victory against a dracolich, the Hungry One.. a demigod. How is it then that one loss for all of that can still make it feel so hollow? I owed Yngdir everything and I couldn't help him when it counted. He was the reason I lived to see a second night in these lands -let alone the years I've stayed since-, it was that debt that saw my entrance into the Wolves. I've never been one to care overly much about what others think of me, but I asked him once after another bout of dissension my actions had caused.. he said he respected me, perhaps the most of all our Brothers. That meant alot more to me than even I thought it would. I was a bit apprehensive about his reaction when I was given the title of Council Leader, what would he think about this tracker of fewer years than him stepping in and usurping what - I believed - was more his right than mine? I put him in for a Bow position, Jerrick gave him Second.. I managed to hunt him down to deliver the news myself. He resisted much the same as I did, but when it settled in, his face -what I could see of it anyway- actually lit up a little. I'm glad I was able to give him that at least.

    I've been to the tower, the Den, they seem empty. I've visited his willow several times, where I sit now to write, I can feel him the most still lingering here. Lately, this little family of ours has seemed alot less of one.. First the fallout with Brendel, I don't see Cael anymore, and now Yng.. all the Wolves that I truly felt close to are slipping away. Now there's old ones returning and lingering around the Den, it only adds to it feeling more foreign to me. I haven't seen Dash in weeks either, that isn't helping. Jerricks words before we marched were less than inspirational, however motivating. He seems to think I could lead these people if he didn't return.. I think for once with certainty I can say he's wr–
    a sharp scratch of ink stretches across the page

    And now I'm seeing dire tigers.. by the Gods I must be exhausted..


  • _I carry with me all the love that you give
    You brought me serenity, a reason to live
    Our life is a journey that we took from the start
    We made all these memories together

    I can remember the first time that we met
    The feelings you gave to me, I'll never forget
    I knew from that moment When our love first began
    We'd last till the end of time forever

    And though there were bad times
    We stood by each other
    And did what we had to get through

    You live in my heart when you're far away
    I see you in dreams where I hear you say
    I'm with you forever in true love
    By light of the day and stars above

    And when there were bad times
    We held on each other
    To face what we had to get through

    You live in my heart when you're far away
    I see you in dreams when I hear you say
    Look up to heaven and I'll be there
    Still guiding your heart, still saying our prayer

    • Lost Love by Judas Priest_

    After finding myself at the gates again, and Dash finding me moments later, another string of attackers streamed from the south and took position in the fields. After some time without an advance, a few scouts headed out to have a look, Dash being one of them. I had to catch myself from stopping her a few times.. she -is- a scout, and she's more than capable.. I can't put restrictions on her just because she's mine. Regardless, one of the undead that were stationed spotted her and led a small band from the line to chase her down.. it was almost comical, seeing Dash's wild grin as she tore back to us, seconds later the hail of arrows from our defensive lines sending many of them to the ground, the rest to be cut down with ease.

    This was repeated a few times, with other scouts as well until but few undead remained on the field. Dash headed out once more to view what still stood, but when she came charging back this time, she wasn't smiling. Two massive wyvern were running her down, and they were fast. She made it back to our lines where anyone who was able separated and swarmed the beasts. Blade after blade skipped off the creatures, my own arrows unable to penetrate, having run out of anything worth trying in a similar attack. Suddenly one of the beasts turned at lashed out at Dash.. it's stinger moving almost too fast to see as its jaws snapped forward. I couldn't tell the extent of the damage right away, but I knew it was bad. Dash staggered back, the wyvern lumbered forward sensing a kill. Without a thought, I dropped my bow and lunged, drawing steel before it hit the ground. One longsword across the beak turned its head just enough to slash at the side of its neck with my short sword in a follow through. The acid sizzled on the scales, but didn't seem to do much beyond piss it off even more.. but it gave up the chase.

    It turned on the one that was closest to where my swing had directed it, fortunately his shield was at the ready and he was able to hold off its attacks for a time. I struck repeatedly, trying to hit the same few scales as they started to give, trying to make a tender spot. I glanced back quickly to be sure Dash was still standing.. instantly my vision flashed white with pain. It's stinger drove into my shoulder with such force, it would have likely knocked me down, if it didn't get stuck. Held up by the beast itself, it recoiled and drew me in, snapping near the same spot and withdrawing it's tail. It's jaws were powerful, I felt the strength in my arm disappear almost immediately, replaced by yet more pain. I staggered back as my vision blurred, one more strike from it's tail to the side assuring me that the pain could get just a little worse.

    Somehow, I managed to get clear of a death blow and focused everything I had to repairing the damage so I could at least try to get my bow. The defenders brought one of them down and swarmed like ants onto the second, the victory fueling those already badly wounded into a final fury it was unable to withstand. I hauled my arse across the battlefield to tend to Dash, and found I had nothing left to draw from myself. Rith spotted the state we were in and brought her healing magic to bear, albeit a bit suddenly for Dash, though that was resolved later. After a short scuffle with a demon woman a short time later, all was quiet across the fields. I noticed Dash favoring one leg and set to patching her up as she talked with Rith.. when I was done, we found ourselves alone.

    We spoke quietly for a time, mostly me expressing my fear of losing her, and surprisingly she assuaged me with what she said.. at least somewhat. We pledged our love to each other that night, I think we've both known for some time, but to hear it.. and to say it.. the field melted away before us and we claimed the night as our own as we held each other until the sun rose again. No rest for the wicked however, as with the sun came Jerrick. Dash had been looking to test herself, and although she didn't get it that day, she was brought out the following night, and passed of course. It worked out better that way anyway, as it allowed us some time alone in the Den.. but the creak of the gate says that's something I've just run out of.. never enough time..


  • The preceding pages are tucked inside the cover of a small notebook. Bound almost completely in displacer skin, save for a small symbol on the cover - a small white star resting in the center of an indented paw print in the books original brown leather. The blue-black skin is soft and inviting to the touch, yet whispers of a hidden strength that could easily withstand the rigors of time. Though the pages are crisp and new, a heavy scent hangs from the book itself that conjures images of long forgotten corners of darkened woods.

    _I'm a rock star, I'm a dealer
    I'm a servant, I'm a leader
    I'm a savior, I'm a sinner, I'm a killer
    I'll be anything you want me to be

    Silent as a witness
    Make your heart race with a death kiss
    I'm a soldier in a blood war
    In the Peace Corps, I am everything you'll ever be

    A loser, number zero
    Play the victim, end up a hero
    I'm a teacher, preacher, liar
    I am anything, everything

    Mover, and a shaker
    The oppressor, stimulator
    I'm a coward, I'm a fighter.. yeah
    I'm everything, you are me, I am you

    Everything is breaking, no mistaking, it's all changing
    Tear it down, watch it all start burning
    All that's done is done, just let it lie

    It's a revelation, celebration, graduation
    Times collide, watch the world awaken
    All the past regrets from days gone by
    Let it go, let it die

    It's a new day for the faceless
    Take the torches from the useless
    First amendment, second guesses
    All dependent, I'll do anything to help you

    Fallen crosses, new alliance
    Deeper thinkers, modern science
    Open guest list, all inclusive
    No one loses, everything you've always wanted

    Honest answers for the bruises
    Full disclosure, no excuses
    Open handshake, clean slate, no hate
    Living history.. misery

    Information, revolution
    Loading up for execution
    Push the button, pull the trigger.. yeah
    I'm everything, you are me, I am you

    Everything is breaking, no mistaking, it's all changing
    Tear it down, watch it all start burning
    All that's done is done, just let it lie

    It's a revelation, celebration, graduation
    Times collide, watch the world awaken
    All the past regrets from days gone by
    Let it go, let it die

    • Let it Die by Ozzy Osbourne_

    Well, I haven't been able to find the time to write anything in the past few weeks. It's been one thing right after another since Jerrick returned. I don't know when I'll have the time to get back to this again, so I'll have to catch up as best I can, though it'll probably get a bit erratic. I finally managed to run across Belia though.. the rebinding of this book was her work, and it's even more beautiful than I had pictured it. I found the materials, namely the hide that covers the majority, to be appropriate for reasons I don't feel particularly inclined to write down.. it's just fitting. I'm sure the star is small enough it wouldn't have been missed in her crafting, but I know the displacer hides are harder to come by.. I'll have to keep my ears open for a party heading close to their territory.

    On Jer's return, he went over the business of this Malarite messenger with the pack, and the way I handled it. He was surprisingly pleased, and after catching up on some other affairs, pulled me aside and promoted me to First Bow, the highest rank he could give me. Shortly afterward, he called the pack together again for a vote, to give me the rank that he could not. Beta. The vote was quick, though not without it's little hiccups here and there, and in the end the pack made their decision. I was advanced from Tracker to Council Leader of the Wolves of Narfell. Time will tell how well I can wear that mantle.

    Attacks have been rampant against the gates of Norwick since then as well. Numerous and varied creatures batter against the walls and scurry across the fields on a near daily basis. Scythohalingfel, the Dracolich that resides in the Lost City is pushing his boundaries, and promises the destruction of the town in the coming months. He seems allied with another, the Rotting Man, as their forces have attacked in unison at times.

    I've been out with Celad a few times on training exercises, sometimes watching him do his thing, sometimes advising and teaching as we go. He seems to be improving well enough, and if he stays vigilant I don't doubt he'll make a fine ranger some day. I've also been out with Syc on occasion. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be quite as adept at staying alive, though she is nothing if not courageous. She fell before me in bugbear lands, the beasts were on her before we could bring aid. We avenged her death, leaving none behind standing.. or breathing, and brought her to the temple in Norwick where she was recovered. Once again a few days after that, there was a savage attack on the south gates. Syc was swarmed by unusually well trained goblins, and though she fought valiantly they proved too much in the end. As the horde was driven back however, I was able to bring her back and lead her to the safety of town. Some time ago now, she also agreed to teach me on a particular subject. Our sessions have been slow but productive, though I still have a long way to go before it's of any real use to me.

    And then there was Dash.. I found her this time firing a volley of arrows into a troll that had approached the gates. While ordinarily I wouldn't hesitate to join the strike to take it down, especially since I had its back and a sword coated with acid.. it just stood there taking the arrows. A dwarf arrived and tried his hammer on it as well, with no success, and still the creature stood its ground. The scene just didn't add up.. I revealed myself, and it pleaded with me to make them stop.. so I did. Without a barrage of steel and wood hammering at it, it went on to explain it was a mage with a heavy load. In the end, it offered to shift back as proof if one would carry its load.. the dwarf agreed.. and it did. The troll shifted back into a woman and the pair headed off north.

    Foolishly thinking - at least this time - that the days surprises were over and I could now find solace with Dash, she led me from the gates to a secluded spot amid the southern fields. I had been prodding her about a particular matter on and off through our time together, allowing her to reveal the story in her own time while keeping my interest known. That night I took another poke.. and to my amazement she agreed. Her first words were a request that I not get mad about what I was about to hear.. naturally, that put me in a bit of a defensive frame, but I agreed. It was difficult.. I did get a little mad at first, and the badger that chose that moment to bite me in the ankle didn't help the matter much though it did sort of snap me back to reality. I controlled myself, pushed the coming anger aside as I realized what it took for her to tell me in the first place. Trust, and a lot of it, which I wouldn't violate with a poor reaction. Other emotions proved more challenging to dispel.. I was stunned. My inquiries were short, to the point.. calculated. Other questions piled up awaiting their turn which would never come. Most answers could not be given to me, so I took what I could get and drew them together in an attempt to stop my mind from racing.. that didn't work either. I could see her watching me closely, gauging every little twitch, change of breathing, the scrutiny of my eyes as I did the same to her.. she seemed so frail then, almost terrified as I scrambled to find words that would make it passed my lips. I just held her.. and mustered an assurance of my trust in her.

    I used to worry.. our time apart can be lengthy, both of us leading lives that could take us away from the Den for great spans. Rarely knowing where she is, what she's doing there, and if she is well. I used to worry.. now I fear. Even now, as she sleeps curled next to the hearthfire but twenty paces from me, as I look away to write an invisible fist clenches at my heart.. which tells me it's time to join her, though I doubt sleep will find me easily this night. The times ahead will be taxing, to say the least.. Gwaeron, guide me.. guide us both.


  • _Lying awake at night I wipe the sweat from my brow
    But it's not the fear 'cause I'd rather go now

    Trying to visualize the horrors that will lay ahead
    The desert sand mound, a burial ground

    When it comes to the time
    Are we partners in crime?
    When it comes to the time
    We'll be ready to die

    God let us go now and finish what's to be done
    Thy Kingdom Come
    Thy shall be done…on Earth

    Trying to justify to ourselves the reasons to go
    Should we live and let live?
    Forget or forgive?

    But how can we let them go on this way?
    The reign of terror, corruption must end
    And we know deep down there's no other way
    No trust, no reasoning, no more to say

    Afraid to shoot strangers
    Afraid to shoot strangers

    • Afraid to Shoot Strangers by Iron Maiden_

    I should have taken my own advice, should have stayed in the Den a few days and taken it easy. I could be hitting the range about now, and not hitting my head off of this desk in the study. It's funny how a few bad decisions and a few lost lives can shake your confidence, force you to hesitate in the moment of truth. Not funny like a joke you haven't heard before though, more like that funny taste you get in your mouth when someone bludgeons the back of your skull.

    After spending a night defending the south gates, and tracking a clone of Adriell in the small hours, I found myself in the Pass. I started weaving my way through the trees when Azrael darted ahead, not in a playful manner either, but with purpose. I scanned ahead as the morning mist rolled and caught sight of a figure ahead of me, a man robed in the colors of Malar. My senses screamed at me for not noticing him earlier. As my eyes scanned the treeline looking for a potential ambush, I knew that none would be found even if it were there. Perhaps another in the line of decisions that would have been better the other way.. I called Az back. Unknowing of the lone figures intentions, a 200 pound cat lunging at your throat was probably not the best way to say hello.

    Long story short, he came to offer a treaty on behalf of the Church of Malar. A treaty that in essence asks the Wolves to surrender and to never interfere in their business in these lands. It was everything I could do to remain as civil as this fellow, Talon, was being. A simple flick of the head would send Azrael into a charge, and with bow in hand I could have delivered the answer I was thinking. I had to remind myself constantly that I had represented myself far above my station. Though I gave him no rank or title, there was an impression given that I was the Beta of this pack.. or at least a bow.. something well beyond the Tracker status I carry. I did give him my name however, which means they all have my name. What a fine mess this could turn out to be.

    I was given a few weeks to think on it. I knew it wouldn't be necessary but under the circumstances, it was welcomed. I sat on the matter for a day until I summoned the Wolves from their respective corners of Narfell with a signal fire. I wasn't even sure it would work, but it was the only way I could think of to get the attention of so many scattered so far. One by one, they gave their thoughts, each reflecting my own. The only problem was Brendel, I should have seen that coming a long way off. He called us blind.. vengeful.. rabid. Apparently he was so caught up in the drama of himself, he couldn't see his views - while he spoke of the issue he was called for - were the same as ours. He challenged me on just about every hard point I could make, I have to believe if for nothing else -than- to challenge me. I can't say that entirely surprised me.. he's always sided with the underdogs, and has always chosen the most inopportune times to display his passion. He left after calling the whole ordeal a farce, but not for considering the option of peace.. simply for upholding the oath that we have all sworn.. for wasting his precious time.

    One good thing did come from it all however, and that was that Dash had also spotted my signal. It's been a long time since I'd seen her. I was deep in the south-east when she had come through last.. didn't stick around long when I was nowhere to be found from the sounds of it. I got a message from Brendel on my return telling me she got the Call. My heart sank at hearing that, knowing it could be some time before she passed through here again. Didn't have long to dwell on it then, as moments later we were hit by several attacks at the gates.. again.. but I felt the sting later.

    Despite it all, it was still good to see so many of us gathered together in the Den. It's unfortunate that these days it never seems to be for good news.


  • _It’s under crimson skies, hell’s horizon
    Our trap will spring
    Unaware of our presence, they’ll be marching
    Straight to their doom

    We are prepared for war, ready for fire
    Stand by to charge
    Counting down as they march into destruction
    Their time has come

    [chorus]
    They’ll never know we give no warning
    We set a trap they took the bait
    Leading them straight into hell
    They will not live to tell the tale
    We’ll strike at dusk and fight 'til dawn
    Tonight our foe is bound to fail
    Our time is now, all ready at arms

    Upon our chosen ground dead men marching
    No sign of hope
    Victory will be ours before the dawn breaks
    Tonight we charge

    [chorus]

    Chaos and disorder, sound of the attack
    Charging down the mountain, frontal assault
    Guns light up the darkness, mortars rip the ground
    Like a force of nature shaking the field

    They never knew we gave no warning
    We set a trap they took the bait
    Cut off, retreat, release
    Unleash the beast within, berserker rage is
    Released, unleashed
    A storm, a force, unbreakable warmachine

    Victims of the ambush stains the ground with blood
    Fields of execution, murderous plan
    Soldiers turn to madmen in the dead of night
    Fighting with a fury, fiery eyes

    They never knew we gave no warning
    We set a trap they took the bait
    Cut off, retreat, release
    Unleash the beast within, berserker rage is
    Released, unleashed
    A storm, a force, unbreakable warmachine
    Unleash the beast within, berserker rage is
    Released

    • Unbreakable by Sabaton_

    Well, it's been nothing but violence since I sat to write last. I beat the hell out of a dwarf, and got my arse handed to me by Crux for it.. close fight though. There's been numerous attacks by the bugbears, almost lost Dash to one of them.. did lose Brendel to at least one of them. After the first time I saw him go down, I rounded up some gear for him. A decent longbow (which I had to go to the City for and pay full price) and a suit of leathers, nothing fancy but a helluva lot more protective than the damned loincloth he strolls around in.

    The night of the Great Hunt came again, and true to their word the Malarites returned, for us. The battle with them was fierce, but we were on homeground, every advantage was ours. We cut them down to the last man, no survivors this time. Found orders on one of the druids, simple enough: Eradication of the Wolves of Narfell.. yeah, I don't think so. One good thing came from it though, the bow I'm using. Incredible craftsmanship, and a draw even stronger than the one I had made for me years ago.

    One of the bugbear raids had an ugly end. A demon was summoned, it charged straight through town and into the spiders nest. Several of us foolishly gave chase too long. As we pursued, I tried several of the arrows I have.. nothing could penetrate his hide, not even the stronger of the acid tipped arrows I keep. We charged through the smaller group of spiders, close on its heels.. one of my arrows in the back of its head made him stop, I guess I had irritated him sufficiently. It started to cast something, and everything went black.. everything. I couldn't see, couldn't hear, and coupled with those two conditions, I didn't dare move. I could still -feel- though.. feel the vibrations on the ground as those around me positioned, felt it shake as the demon doubled back. I braced myself for the killing blow.. the shot to the spine, the throat.. but it didn't come. When I came to, there were bodies around me, Yng and Syc were the only two left standing.. we charged again, why? I still don't know, it was clearly beyond our abilities.

    We didn't get too deep into spider territory after that. I caught up with the pair in the heat of battle, against a larger spider and a succubus. They were taking it hard, covered in webs and bombarded with spells.. I knew they couldn't last like that. I slipped behind the succubus and drove my blades into her back.. and they skipped off. I swung as hard as I could, and my longsword bounced off, the acid from my shortsword didn't phase it in the least.. My companions both fell before me, I had no choice.. I fell back. Heart racing, I slipped behind a rock trying to hold my thoughts together, to quell the building rage, and that's when I heard the chitter of the spider. It was looking for me, but I was
    well hidden. I scanned the cliffside and spotted my only hope: The hungry glint of Azrael's eyes shone back at me, I gave a signal to surround the spider. When we had it on both sides, we lunged from the grass in unison and brought it down swiftly. Racing back, I found that the wounds suffered by the pair, while close to, were not lethal. I had enough strength left to heal them both, not much, but better than nothing.. Syc took care of the rest as I stood guard for a counter attack. We chose not to continue, and made our way back to town.

    Then, more attacks against the gates of Norwick.. Goblins, almost every species so far.. varied types of undead including a large attack by vampires. Hell, I don't even know anymore.. we've fought back just about everything there is to fight back in the past few weeks. The most recent of which were a pair of Drow, and later a caster.. I think someone said he was a wizard of Thay.

    I tracked the Drow assassin several times.. well, tracked is a bad word, he left none. It was easy to figure him out, to intercept him once I knew he was there. I just thought to myself - What would I do next if I wanted to kill all these people, but couldn't stand against them? And everywhere I went, there he was.. predictable. His prowess with a blade was a bit on the lacking side, as I discovered when I first sniffed him out.. he fled from me after I drove my own blades deep. I followed right into his trap, two of them actually.. I stopped moving and went to my bow, we had it out that way for a while, and he was a pretty good marksman. With the damage I had done to myself in the pursuit, I had to fall back as I couldn't risk charging his position again. I intercepted him again on the opposite side of the battlefield, and again we had a shootout. My bow packs a nasty punch, but his daggers were coated in some nasty poison.. again I had to fall back, this time for good.

    When the others had tired of running through the darkened field, and straight through his traps.. the mage stepped out and put a fireball to us. Remarkably, I was at the center of the blast and not a hair was singed. I gave him an arrow in the back for his efforts, and it was almost enough to send him to the ground right there.. if I could have given chase, even a few quick steps, I could have finished him.. but he too fled into the night, and neither returned.

    Later however, the wizard from Thay just appeared on the watch tower.. I don't know who it was, but someone immediately opened fire on him. I shouted for them to stop, and they did. I approached the wizard, who until this point had made no hostile movements, statements… nothing. Then, he cast a few quick spells on himself, and simply said 'Okay, now you can fire on me.' ..What a farkin' idiot I am. The time I gave him allowed him to become invulnerable to my attacks, and from the looks, the others as well. He cast a few spells into the crowd, and teleported off again.. I collected Jerrick from the Pond and we got back in time to help put down the waves of kobolds being summoned. After they had been dealt with, a band left for Oscura after finding a note with just that name on it.. yeah, not interested. The attacks seemed to stop after they had left, that was good enough for me.

    I returned to the Den, where I'm writing this now.. after five bad decisions in a row, I've retired myself for the time being. I'll spend some time around here, work on my archery, maybe hit the dummies and work a bit more on my crafting hobby.. I'm actually making a bit of headway, despite the difficulties I've had getting decent wood to work with. And to think that I was going to ask Jerrick to test me the night of the Drow attacks, wouldn't that have been interesting. I did manage to piss him off in under two minutes though, I think that's a record..


  • _Forgiven to me,
    You're forgiven to me,
    You're just another dead man living to me.
    Forgiven to me,
    You're all giving to me,
    How can you let a dead man live?
    Forgiven to me,
    You're forgiven to me,
    You're just another nightmare walking to me.
    You weren't dreaming of me,
    Now you're giving to me,
    No longer will the nightmare live.

    To be purified in fire,
    anesthetic for the pain.
    As the final words erupt from your mouth,
    Who will remember your name?

    Walking the line that the world has drawn,
    Fighting for balance, alone in the dark.
    Will you carry the burden the world has grown?
    Will you destroy everything in your sight?
    You alone can give this one more try.
    You alone will bury me tonight.

    • (excerpt) Forgiven by Disturbed_

    Well surprise surprise, the prodigal wolf has returned. I haven't seen him yet, but I've heard.. and he's heard about Jaelle. He took it like I thought he would, who knows, he could just turn around and fark off again. It's strange though, since her death, everything I had felt for him has changed. All the.. well malice is accurate, no point in lying to myself in my own journal. But it's just not there anymore, replaced by I don't know.. sympathy? pity? If the end justifies the means, then she's at least accomplished a token amount of goodness in her death.

    What I said at Jerricks long ago still holds true though, I hope he remembers that. I thought Jer's head was going to explode when I told Bren I would cut him down like a dog if he ever tried me again, but he took it pretty well considering. Almost shoved his head in the fireplace that night too, might have if Jerrick wasn't standing right there. My Tooth, my symbol of Brotherhood still hangs by a thread from that night, but it's his move first. He could take it from me if he wanted, hell someone would raise him after they found his body, but I would still be stripped and exiled. Time will tell.

    Spent some time with Jerrick and Adriell outside his place, she was asking some questions about Bren, I let Jer take them. It was obvious that for every answer he gave, I had a different one, but as difficult as it was I remained silent. Surprisingly, Jerrick got up and left after that, and we both knew why. I took the opportunity he gave me and gave -my- answers to her questions, filled in a few holes in the story from my side of things, and did a terrible job at that. I chose speed and skipped over a good number of details.. details that come together to make it all make sense in the end.. rushed over the happenings.. glossed over murdering a woman to save him.. yeah, pretty poor job. Near the end, as always, we were interrupted. Never have I been able to tell that tale in one sitting, not once, it's always been something. She seemed neutral enough as I rambled on, but I could tell she was a little taken back by it all.. probably won't look at me the same way again, but what can you do? Can't change the past.


  • _Welcome to sun down, welcome to the dark.
    Could be that evil has heroes.
    Bring everybody down, celebration.
    Passing of the light,
    Giving up your spirit to the night.

    You'll turn to stone, just forever.
    You'll turn to stone.

    Here comes a fire, we'll burn it to the ground.
    Inside the page lies the power.
    We turn it all around, celebration.
    Words have control,
    To take away your heart and then your soul.

    You'll turn to stone, just forever.
    You'll turn to stone.

    Oh pray for a miracle,
    But the wishes in the well have all gone dry.
    There's no way for a miracle,
    It's not the way you live, it's how you die.

    • (excerpt) Turn To Stone by Dio_

    Well, never made it to those gnolls. Headed out of the Den to find a section of the Pass on fire, nothing I could do to stop it. Found a horc and a woman by the gates and stalked them through the night, across the lake and into goblins lands.

    Dash showed up not too long after our return, I got her out hunting alone, she did amazing. At some point we had a clearing and I remembered the gift I had picked up, and never had a chance to give to her. The troblin bracers I had won in the fight against Eggbutt. I couldn't believe how happy they made her, for me anyway, it made the entire campaign worthwhile. We spent some time with each other afterward, and fell asleep together in the infirmary.

    Days later, I found myself in the Coppers of Oscura. A band had gathered on a lead that Jaelle would be in town. I don't know why I stayed, or why I followed them, but I wish I hadn't. Short story is she is no more, and she took many down with her. Something in me though, felt the loss. She wasn't the monster that everybody called her, at least not all of her was, but that's how she'll be remembered by them now.

    Maybe if I had tracked her down when Telli asked me, when she was accused of Alestra's murder, would it have changed anything? I just wish I had a chance to talk to her before it all went down, at the very least I might have gained some understanding. I did have a chance a couple months ago, when I came upon her and Sabre in Peltarch. She seemed like a completely different person then, I thought maybe she was making some progress in fighting her own demons, so I let it go. That was the last time I saw her alive and she seemed happy, or at least as happy as I'd seen her in some time. I think that's how I'll remember her.