3. Of spell and Sword: Alana's tale

Of spell and Sword: Alana's tale


  • It's so much easier here, I don't stuter or hide my face, my feelings. Many bad things have happened to me, to my family. My father and I never reconciled, he died with most of Norwick and with him his plans for me. My brothers gone, my time in Peltarch and with the knights all but a waste save the meeting of Kenton Seth (still alive) and Jeremy (Departed).

    My time spent training with my master in Silverymoon, then with sword at Seth's and Jeremy's knees is with me still. It turns out that is not so much wasted time as a steping stone. I have yet to officially leave the Stars but I don't think it matters; I have nothing of theres save a defender cloak and uniform, both can be tossed simply enough.

    I spoke with the hin Benji, a captain in the legion, about joining with them. I braced myself with spells to bolster my confidence and he gave me a few brief test. It became readily apparent that I lack training in offensive magic such as to impress him (something I will have to remedy, though I've always had trouble obtaining scrolls to learn from even in the Stars), but I think he was suitably impressed when we sparred and told me I was a recruit now. My sincere hope is now I can finally do some good, I always dreamed I would as a Star but those seem hollow hopes considering how easily I was ignored while with them.

    I met several members of the Legion, foremost was Sessa and Troff. Troff moslty just got annoyed with me when I begged off from going on a patrol with another legion member (she makes me nervous), but then invited me to go search the underdark with him and a small group (was able to go though having broken a strap on my armor, then had to stay and make repairs; may;be next time). Sessa and me have traveled to the south twice now, once with a man named Noah (more later on him).

    Sessa is a priestess of Chauntea, it's interesting meeting her with all the recent upset over the dwarven woman Telli's death (who apparently was also a devoted of Chauntea. Sessa is calm and confident, beautiful really, all the things I'm not but wish I could be. We made a good team, bad judgement on my part when I attacked but luckily the skills at defense Seth taught me were able to pull me safely through.

    Our second trip went much better, we took Noah with us. There is something odd about him to me. He is quiet and bashfull most times, but not afraid of a fight to be certain. I find I have trouble speaking to him and I frequently catch myself watching him or thinking of him, mere foolishness I know my father would say. I find his penatrating eyes almost disconcernting a bit, we accidently touched the other day no doubt he thinks I'm a shameless harlot now. Must wrap this up and pray that Mystra will guide me in this, goddess I wish I could speak to him, to anyone really.


  • Mystra I still hear fathers voice in my head now louder then ever. I thought that perhaps now I had found another who shared how I feel, knew the fears of crowds and voices that I could find strength in him and maybe yet I will. I have decided to go forth to the crypts alone and face my ghosts come what may, if I should return Noah and I can know happiness I hope if not…

    Dear Lady I do regret, though I know it would have been a sin, I wish I had kissed his lips just once to know what waits me on my return. I reliquish my fate into your hands my goddess accepting whatever fate it is I deserve, though I would beg of you to carry my love one last time in a dream to dear sweet Noah should I not return.

    Yours faithfully

    Alana


  • I am unsure of what it is the Lady of Mystrys intends for me now. A messenger game with a sealed letter addressed to me. It was from Noah, it took me nearly a week to summon the courage to open it. I went to the commons to be away from the prying eyes in the Stars towers, sometimes living with mages and having sneaks next door can have distinct disadvantages.

    He loves me, the letter said it all and eloquently like niether of us have the words to bring forth. I sat quietly against the wall in awe of his ability to express himself this way, were I half as so articulate as he! I sat there numbly unsure of what I'd do; he stated he wanted to meet me on the bluffs near Norwick but I still had not seen Sessa and this was of great concern to me yet. I did not wish to hurt one who had been as a sister to me for naught but my own happiness.

    Thats when I heard the clanking and looked up as Thorn and Noah passed by the far side of the wall. He saw me and our eyes locked for a moment, I was powerless as if my heart had been torn from me a whole. He spoke quietly with Thorn a moment and I quickly hid my gaze from him and the letter as well. When I looked up again he was standing close above me and Thorn had fled the scene.

    The conversation was awkward to say the least, I confessed again my feelings for him and my concerns but he would not take that as a disqualification for our hearts mutal hope. At long last we did that which I had dreamed of when first we met, he took my hand in his and I almost thought I would pass out from the excitement; my father is no doubt damning me from his grave now.

    We sat our bodies almost touching, no more then a foot apart as we held hands and talked softly. He told me about the stars from his home and how smiliar they looked here and I wondered that I had thought he had come from so far away from here. My mind kept drifting back to Sessa, was I betraying her?.. I insisted that we would have to talk to her before anything further happens between us; which leaves me wondering exactly what further did I want?, what does he want?

    We spoke nearly an hour more and as the sun first lights started lightning the skys heralding the coming of the morning star I rememberd that I had agreed to take part in revelarly and had to hurry away quickly so I was not delinquent in my duties. I gave his hand a quick squeeze and ran as fast as I could my heart pounding more so from the fear of harming one I loved and of claiming another that I cared for so much as well, then the excertion. I was late and yelled at again; but for once I didn't shirk back under the sergants growls my mind occupied by things more important then the moment for just this once.

    Mystra I thank you for having the strength I lack, I hope you will help me and both those I love to understand what this is and spare each of us from greater pain. Your faithful servent Alana.


  • It has been nearly two week since I saw Noah, we spoke today and things could not be better or worse now. Thorn tricked me into going up and talking with him on the western ridge above the towers, in truth though my heart sang to see him alive and well. I felt a terrible embaressment at seeing him, and more so confusion since Sessa was not with him.

    Noah told me he cares for me, asked me to be with him. My heart raced with excitement, nothing would have made me happier but I knew it could not be. How could I be with him and Sessa not be, it would crush her and I can not be the cause of such pain for my friend. I tried to explain this to Noah but I fear he did not understand my words. I am a the best of times inarticulate, most often I simply stumble through conversations and so I must blame this on myself.

    He was upset, and turned from me. I couldn't bear to stand there watching the man I love so much suffer and left, Mystra forgive my cowardice. Now Sessa will hear and likely hate me, alone in the world is what is best for me father was right again. I don't know what to do, if I do as my heart wishes my best friend will suffer; if I mearly stand back I will suffer but maybe that is the better choice, I do not deserve one such as Noah.

    I implore you Mystra show my love mercy, grant my friend and my desire serenity and consolance; give me the strength you know I lack to do the right thing and not hurt either of them.


  • I saw him again, my dark lover, not that it matters now he is no more then dust scattered to the winds forever. I don't even remember what happened, the legion says he enthralled me, but all I remember is that he suddenly ran and a whisp flew out toward him from behind me and then nothing. A burning patch on the ground and he was gone. Afterward I was told the sorcerer Ronan had walked up and without a word heard motioned and it was over.

    How foolish of me, the legion yelled and yelled at me for something I wasn't even sure had happened and all along my heart felt as if it had been taken from me and burned in front of me. I don't know what I had been thinking, this thing had no good intentions for me but somehow for a very few moments I felt like I was alive again; I have not felt that since before my family was murdered.

    I thought the legion might be a home for me but now I have trouble believing it, I stood there after it all happened desperate not to cry to some how hold it all together. The sargent screamed and hollored at me I couldn't even understand half of what he said; I struggled to control my tears and then Noah, who had been close by me I was told later through it all, left with Sessa or so I was told I didn't see it through my trembling.

    I think I hate this man, Ronan I was told his name was, he took from me the little hope I had inside. I'm unable to compete or even be suitable alternative to a woman such as Sessa for Noah, but I had dared to dream for a very foolish moment that something was mine for once and not anothers; my father must be laughing in his grave at my vain pride. No doubt this is Mystra's punishment for my arrogance.

    I traveled to hunt the gnolls with Troff, a man named Jerrick I did not know, Noah, and Sessa (it was so painfull for me but I have sworn to be happy for her and for him, he has gotten all he deserves). We were doing quite well actually and had entered a cave in the back of the valley the gnolls dwell when two of the larger creatures with sycthes descended on us cutting my beloved Noah down without hesitation. I was stunned, unable to get to him through the battle all I could do was watch his blood, more precious to me then my own, spread beneath him like dark shadows carrying away all the dreams I had so foolishly held.

    There were many recriminations after, anger, arguing, I don't want to live them again here so that I have to do so everytime I come back to my journal. We took him to the temple of Torm back in Peltarch and I spoke quietly with the priest about returning him. The fee was large in price but small compared to knowing Noah would never draw breath again, I think it would have been unto death itself for me to know he was gone forever even if am never to see his smile again while he walks this earth. I paid the coin and fled, I do not believe I could have bared to first see him fall and then be in the arms of the woman he loves when it was not myself.

    It has been many days since I ran from the temple tears stinging my eyes, my heart pounding like a deer pursued by predators through the woods. I knew helplessness for many days to follow, and hid mostly in the barracks of the Stars as for now it is the only place I have to sleep. I have to reconsider I fear the legion, I doubt now I have the temperment they want of thier recruits, and the sargent gave every impression I was not a match while captain Benji stood on listening.

    I have tried my best not to ask about Noah, he is not mine and it would be unseemly for a woman to ask about a man's well being whom blongs to another. I've already embarressed myself enough, and in my foolish actions my friend Sessa as well. I pray to the goddess, give me the strength to be a better friend to her, help me find humility at last and take this burden from my lonely heart.


  • Arose the next day went straight to the gate. I must have been standing there for several hours just watching the dark when Troff and Sessa aproched. There was some small talk, I .. my mind was elsewhere though. Sessa gave me a powerful potion of healing which I reluctantly took but later it proved to be the difference between life and death for me. Just before the dawn peeked up Troff suggested we patrol and asked the two of us where we would want to go; I piped up quickly (maybe to quickly?) the crypts, did they suspect?

    A short hike out for the three of us with nothing able to slow us down on the way and then into the dark hole that hid the remain of the cracked and broken stairs. Troff went first me next with Sessa, being our healer, bringing up the rear. Two doors in we found our first battle, these glowing balls and dead gaurds of the old town. I swear some of the faces were familiar to me from when I was a little girl, I struck them down anyway in favor of my new friends.

    The first battle was heated, Sessa and I did not know what our positions should be but despite that Troff managed to remain in control and pull us through. Sessa was somewhat hurt but Chauntea's blessings soon saw to that. I took the quiet in the moments after the battle to look around and there on a pedestal of two huge stone hands laid a sarcophagis. My hands sweated as I walked up to it, I knew this way laid madness but I had to know!

    Sessa and Troff both spoke as one as I pushed on the lid to not touch it but it was to late for that. I pushed my wieght agaisnt it anticipating ecstacy again only to feel my elation become disappointment then regret as the other two stared at me..my body leaning agaisnt the sarcophagis it's lid secured from what I could tell with in. I felt nothing more but embaressment and apologised to my companions for my foolishness, we went on and deeper.

    The next room Troff and I stood side by side as Sessa healed us from behind. The battle was long and arduous a dead man with a peg leg seemed to be leading them and it took us longer to win the way, which we wouldn't have if we hadn't stood shoulder to shoulder in the door, then it did to reach that point already. The wasy was clear to take the stairs further into the darkness.

    Ghouls, we ran into ghoul after ghoul which since they never rushed us in large groups we dispatched with short pitched battles. Then it lumbered out of the darkness toward us, what it was I am sure but it appeared a patchwork of different parts sewn together as a mockery of life; it was convincing it in that. Troff and I hacked away at it as it swung it's tremendous club from left to right and back again, more then once I felt it hit my armor nearly taking me completely off my feet each time; but it did fall and die if in fact it had ever truely lived.

    One more pitched battle below and we were forced to withdraw, all of us weakened and badly bloodied. I was unfamiliar with the multitude of curses they put upon us but I was as convinced as the others it was time to leave. The unliving in the crypt apparently though had other plans for us, perhaps wanting no more then to add us to there numbers or perhaps to wreak revenge for those we had sent to a permanent slumber already.

    Not one of the fights before could compare with this, we were already badly beaten and the numbers when we left were nearly as great as when we went downward. I held the rush of them at the second door whiles Sessa and Troff fought those that had gotten by me. It was then that if I hadn't had the healing potion that Sessa gave me I would have died, I owe her my life and more then once that day. We fought until exhaustion and then continued on knowing there would be no quarter now, no retreat, no place to hide and victory would only grant us life and escape.

    We won. We cleared the door and Troff ordered us to go as quickly as we could with him bringing up the rear. The night was not upon us quite yet and though we came up to the graveyard I don't think the air has ever smelt sweeter to me. I thought Troff would be angry with me, I was wrong. He commended us in fact with small points to our tatics that would in fact be helpful in the future, I do not understand why this man is still a private.

    Once back in town I think we were a shock to those standing watch in the dark, more dead then not we must have looked; all three of us a bloodied and bruised mess covered in filth. Noah was there and for a moment my heart almost sang, he looked at me for just a moment as our eyes met and then I could not stop myself from turning away. We went to the healers but after her prayers, Sessa's skills were more then sufficent to handle all of the curses put upon us in that dark forbidden place.

    I felt some small respite as well when Noah followed us to the Chauntea temple and then waited (I think he was waiting for me?) until I had meditated in the back to replinish my spells. He walked back with me to the remains of the gate and after a moment we each went to a side.. apart again. Next to Sessa I spoke with her softly she was so sweet to me, she even said she loved my hair which I found so shocking coming from a woman with hair like silk!

    I Moved back from the gate as dawn aproached again to say my vespas to my goddess and thank her for our safe delivary. I was about to kneel when I heard from the other side of the gate Sessa asking Noah for him to come and walk with her and talk. My heart almost left my breast again and I feared for a moment they had heard me cry out, foolish girl he is not your man; and you should be happy for your friend she is a good and deserving woman and you nothing .. nothing at all to anyone.

    Mystra I beg you please stop these feelings.. I long for things I know is not right, for men I should not be with, for even my only friend to lose to me. Your servent begs you mistress to grant her temperance and restraint.


  • Everything changes in these lands so quickly. I was writing here in my journal, by the light of my robes when suddenly a call went up from the gates. I hurried down and found that a dark shadowed man was standing outside the gate while everyone hid to one side or the other. It turned out, so was stated then, he was a vampire; apparently they have been hunting the woods south of Norwick for some time now.

    I quickly decided to act and looking about at those gather decided my spells would be used best on the norwick scout Thorn. I cast five incantations on him then before I even realised I turns and cast two protections on Noah who was standing nearby watching. I'm not sure what prompted me to do this, Kenton Seth trained me to protect myself first and put myself in the front as the best methoed of keeping safe others; just the same, I used my last spells protecting Noah.

    The vampire worked the gate with devious acumen picking off any who showed thier face, Captain Benji would dart out and fire at him as soon as the creature fired but it was a battle he was slowly losing. I drew in a breath sharply to steady myself before charging from behind the gate after the fiend let lose it's next shaft. Holding my shield high and screaming for the others to follow I bolted forward it's only shot on me before I closed echoing off my shield and into the dark of the woods.

    Quickly it switched to it's swords and due to my attempt to injure it swiftly, which I did however small a wound it was, it struck me twice drawing deeply across my sword arm. I was forced to switch to the defensive, without my protections cast on myself I knew I was vulnerable, but first Thorn rushed to attack him and within a moment Noah was on my other side. The fiend thrust at me several times his swords banging on my shield and first Thorns and then Noah's swords bit deeply into him in payment for said atempts.

    He switched his target after that, and began to concentrate on Thorn. But it was to late, immediatly Captain Benji closed and started firing bolts into it at short range. The creature was not foolish and turned sprinting from us with an astonishing speed; had it choose to it probley could have just fled, us left in the proverbeal dirt as it did. Instead it fired shots at us with it's bow whenever it got ahead. It was a mistake. Once to many times it turned, and to many of us were upon it.. but instead of it's death it droped to the ground scattering across it as nothing more then mist.. a whisper was all he left behind "My girls"

    We ran but it was to late they droped from the night sky all about us and once more we fought for our lives in desperation. I struck none but placed myself on the werecreature, who's name I was later told was Tindra's, flank and drew thier blows while her sharp claws sperated head from neck again; Noah on my other side brought his blade down again and again like a bloody dance of death. This battle was not long joined. It was, of course, mearly a distraction I think to slow our retreat.

    He looked like a gnome.. blocking our way back to town. I have never seen a gnome so pale, his skin paler then any creature who had ever walked in the light could possibly be. Words exchanged, and the Legion recruit by the name of Alestra approached it apparently trying to befriend it. The creature repaid her with a flick of it's wisk and she was frozen, it offered to let us pass but before anyone could respond Captain Benji fired and I charged it. The others quickly followed our example.

    The battle was brief, I almost fell and no doubt would have had not Noah forceably stopped me from pursuing the gnome. Another, whom later I learned was named Celad, did fall to fire cast by the abomination of all things. After we gathered in the temple dedicated to Chauntea in Norwick where the priestess returned Celad to life. I laid most of this time in a bed in the infirmary my savior, Noah, laying across the way in the next bed asleep; what would my father say to by wanton behavior.

    Eventually we parted until there was just Thorn, Noah, and I left. Before dark we worked to clear the remains of the gate away (it was destroyed by the vampire apparently, shattered under the strength of his blows but I did not bear witness to this just it's outcome). After we went up to the bluffs above the outer eastern tower as we waited for the dark to return. I didn't think the creature would show itself again but Thorn did and stood on the bluff his arms spread, sure enough the thing shot him.

    What followed was strange, disconcerting to me. I wished to destroy the thing immediatly believing that it shoudl be weak now, but the others conversed with it. I readied my fireball wand and it leaped over to the bluffs from the tower it was standing on when it shot Thorn. It mocked us, Thorn seemed willing to indulge it as did Noah; I was aghast and stated so.

    The creature is fast I'll give it that, in a flash it was behind us. It didn't attack though at the time I wished it had.. it touched me in a manner no man has ever done swatting me hard on the bottom and calling me a "saucy wench"; I almost let loose with the fireball and would have if the others had not been so close. Noah was incensed and put himself between the creature and myself. I was beside myself, secretly I had hoped, nay even prayed he held a shred of care for me. But for him to act in such a manner in front of everyone..in front of the creature.. I felt the shame of exposure in front of all of them as if I had been stripped naked.

    Noah remained suprisingly calm while I, embaressed already by my situation grew more upset; I kept the wand trained on the creature. They bantered a bit then it said:

    "See this is what I hate about mortals .. who .. refuse…to LIVE"

    I think I visibly flinched before it continued.

    "Why do you care if I hunt you, kill you, Drain you!"

    My hand faltered, the wand dropping slightly.

    "Your not even alive! I lived, I loved, I died, ..this..this is better ..now I'm really alive!"

    I dropped the wand to my side and the words escaped my lips betraying what was inside "I'm.. .alive.. ", my pathetic denial said with no conviction. Noah challenged it and the creature amused agreed while I watched numbly as they fought, the thing made short work of him and he slipped to the ground bleeding. My heart leaped from my breast thinking something beautifull to me had just died, I charged it. Swinging wildly I tried to keep it off of Noah, but it laughed and danced away from my wild flails, I don't believe Noah had ever been it's true target; Thorn pulled me back.

    More words.. they helped Noah to his feet, I struggled with my shame as more then anything I wanted to run to him and pull him to myself. More recrimanations from it, then it lept from the bluffs to the tower below and I took my chance. Quickly I picked up my wand and screaming "Burn Fiend!" I fired off two quick fireballs at it. Singed badly, but not seriously hurt it smirked and fired off three shots in rapid sucession and everything went black.

    Many hours later I awoke, I was on the bluff still, the creature was there and my father his scorn for me showing as always. "Not alive" the thing said and smiled curled it's lip back revealing it's sharp canines to me. "Not alive" my father echoed. I ran and the words followed me in terror as I fled through the dark. Hands grabbed at me, touched me as I ran and the words floated in the air ringing aloud again and again and again. I died, it ran me down forcing my face to the dirt before throwing me to my back powerless.

    It took me there my clothes torn, my face covered with dirt as it sunk it fangs into the flesh of my neck; and I knew ecstacy. I reveled in his touch, all the things I knew so wrong, giving me feelings I had never suspected as bit by bit my life ebbed from my neck to his mouth and on to his cold dead heart. I died.. I was born again.. alive at last and we danced in the light of the moon until dawn. He could not force me now, I gave myself willing with joy to his every need.

    My eyes opened with the first rays of the sun, it was then just a dream, and I wasn't where I thought I'd be. Noah was there kneeling at my side holding my hand as if praying over me; he whispered to me in Sylvan urging me back. I was so confused, where was my magnificent creature, the promised life eternal, the ecstacy. I don't know if I hid it well or not, I was devastated and now as I write this I must add shame to my feelings. How could I let myself feel something for this monster? why can't I make myself whole again? Mystra please help me, please save your humble shamed servent.


  • I went hunting with the legion today, we were lead by Captain Benji. He put me and Troff to the front but really we mostly hid behind a tree while we hunted bugbears. I'd only seen them once before with Kenton Seth; he had of course torn through then like one of the furys unleashed. This day we worked more taticly and still met with success though not as impressive as Seths.

    I saw Noah again, and invited him to join us with Captain Benji's tacit approval. He speaks Sylvan, I desperately want to ask him how he learned it but it might seem unseemly to be so forward. After the hunt he followed me back to the dwarven hold and waited outside as I sold the fortunes of the hunt.

    I'm embaressed to admit it even here, father would not have approved, but I had a fantasy about him while waiting for the merchant to calculate our payout. I saw him and me walking in a field of flowers. I was wearing a gown that was of questionably moral fiber (it came at least four inches below my neck!), and he was in a short sleaved tunic showing the length of his muscled arms. We sat and quitely spoke in Sylvan, it didn't really matter what but he looked into my eyes as we spoke. Afterwards we walked from the field back to Norwick and he held my hand.

    My father would have beat me senseless for such nonsense. I made sure not to reveal my turpitude to him when I gave him his gold, he was waiting outside the hold. He asked me if I wanted to go to the healers but I was so embarressed at my shameless fantasy that I barely answered him and hurried back to the others.

    I don't understand whats happening to me. At least when I was with the stars I didn't have such vile thoughts about men. Perhaps my father was right and the magic has corrupted my soul, but if thats true doesn't it also mean that my goddess has miss led me as well. Mystra please forgive me my wicked ways, your servant swears she shall endeavor to be better so you can find her worthy.