3. Thoughts of a squishy scout - Thorns journal.

Thoughts of a squishy scout - Thorns journal.


  • My heads spinning.. and for once its not because of any visions. I'm not sure whats gotten into Fadia.. but I like it.

    Poor Tindra, her face couldn't have turned a brighter shade of red. Its fun to pick on her, and more so now. Shes moving back into the den with us. I get to keep my elf close, which is good, because Hedia is back and on the prowl.

    On a serious note. I have Ael'Que going through legion records looking for old reports regarding Solais. I'm pretty sure I'll find alot of information there. Eluriel says all the information I need is with Fadia. But between the sylvan lessons and.. other things that take up a great ammount of time. Its hard to ask her questions about it.

    The only thing I can be sure of is, something is happening soon. Be it darkthorns rebirth, or the mage with the rainbrow bright chaos spirits. The best I can do is gather all the information I'm being givin, pass it along to others and get them prepared for the day it happens.

    I still have many questions for Fate.. though some are best left unanswered. It would be nice to meet her though. Or my other fey contact. First things first, the language. Its about mid-day, the rawlins are quiet. Time to get back home and bug Fadia and Tindra.

    Its nice having the two of them there, specially since Rith went off to Suzali with Micah. Not sure how long they'll be gone.


  • To say my life has taken interesting turns is an understatement. To say I've fallen into an upward spiral while not moving at all suits it better. It makes more sense if you don't think about it.

    I'm stuck now in a position I don't like. I'm perfectly sane, or as sane as I should be. However, I have to question things. The visions I've been having used to make no sense to me whatsoever. And I could brush them aside as, they really did not connect with things that I know. But as time passes, they start connecting with each other. Peices of the puzzle slowly fall and form the bigger picture. I've got a vague idea of what they are, but can I be sure of these things, or not?

    Recently apon a hilltop I was visited by a spirit. She had a messege for Rith about the visions I've had that involved her. However, in order for those visions to become a reality, she has to take the first step into making them so. Which leads me to question my other visions. Particularly the one where I die a horrible death, hope is lost and the world is covered in darkness.

    Will this happen just because I've seen it? Its a possability. Or, am I the key factor into causing all these things to happen? By telling others these visions, do I then allow them a starting point in our reality?

    Some of the visions bother me. However, there is evidence that they are true. In that case, I'm probably better off explaining everything I see to everyone that will listen. Maybe that will allow for a brighter future.

    If I'm not mistaken though, these visions are givin to me by 'Fate' and she was reffered to as a 'she' by a fey. A fey I know, and one I've come to be familiar with, but can I trust them as truth? I really should see if I can contact this fey, if anyone can help me in this he can. I don't think my elven friends can help me in this. Or maybe they can. Fadia believes me, and Eluriel would listen I'm sure. Things need done though, so lets make a list.

    Speak with the Fey of Dreams. Learn what you can. Ask to be his apprentice.

    Compile all notes on visions relating to things that could effect all of Narfell. People would appreciate them. I think.

    Collect Bloodstones. Fey seem to use them and they could come in handy.

    Begin practice on sylvan, Fadia can teach me.

    SPEND MORE TIME WITH FADIA


  • I was finally able to spend some time with Eluriel! Just being silly, which was needed. The elves and how they're acting have really annoyed her. We had fun, Purple, blue and … whatever color I choose. Lounging around and making fun of the 'brother-sister-mother-father' thing everyone seems bent on saying.

    But fun never lasts long.

    Vaxin walked through the gates, and all sorts of trouble started. He asked for gems, of which he wasn't going to get. He left, only to come back later with an attack. Everyone prepared inside spellweaver, though we had no idea he was going to throw a damned tornado at us. We survived, barely, but only because what he was searching for was no longer there.

    We probably would have made it through the whole mess easier, and faster without Aramuil. I need to open a portal to -anywhere- and just throw him in it. At the end of the day he had Fadia so frusterated that she stormed off to be alone untill she calmed down. I've never seen her so angry. She was -less- angry when bugbears took norwick, and threatened to run me through with her scimitar because I was stopping her from running headfirst into a death-trap.

    Left me with Rith and Senma in the temple. Rith is still scared to go anywhere at night. I'm suprised she was able to do all she did. Shes not herself, hasn't been for the past few days. Nightshade best hurry up, we need her fixed and soon. Shes beggining to drive people away.

    When the sun started peeking up, she left there for norwick while she could. Leaving me with Senma. She asked a little about my past, which is rarely ever done as people know me quite well, but shes new to these lands, so I didn't mind telling her of my brother.

    Albryanna walked in on us in a horrible mood. I couldn't get her to relax untill I sat down with her and got her talking. She said her talk with Eluriel has her concerned. And one subject we'll talk of later in private. The other was of Travis, and I told her all I could. She'd like to meet him, not suprised. We talked of casual things, and clothes came up, as Senma seems hell bent to never wear pants, while Albry will possibly never show her legs.

    I was able to get Senma into one of my suits though, my new blue one. However, she wouldn't give it back. So I got her another suit in exchange. She wanted the color purple, which striked me a little odd, but it turned out alright. Maybe shes trying to get on Fadias good side. It won't be easy if she doesn't slow down. I enjoy her friendship, and her company is nice. But she is trying to make me into something I'm not.

    Many more things have happened, but thats for another page.


  • This day went much better. I found Rith.. only to find out she hadn't been leaving norwick, or the temple much since her scare. I took her to my office, calmed her down, and we talked for the longest time.. just being silly like always. It did her alot of good, even so much as to get her out for a walk into the rawlins. The walk would have been a calm one, only.. Elva stopped me at the fire saying Senma went into the rawlins looking for me, alone … and in a skirt.

    I warned her about the skirt.

    Rith and I tracked her down out by the lake, where we talked, untill the sun started to set, then it was back inside and straight to the temple. There the political talk went on, mostly between Rith and Senma. I'm not much for politics. We then spent almost all day embaressing the poor girl. She'll get used to us I hope. Though, I guess I'll be spending alot more time with her..

    Its an odd thing to think about, being someones 'champion' and while Rith and I were sure she had.. differing motivations for choosing me. The truth of the matter is she needs -someone- and it might as well be me. I took Tindra under my care when the other elves pretty much turned her away. And from what I've seen.. They don't think too highly of Senma. No matter. I'll do what I can for her too.

    Rith did ask a good question though.. what will Fadia think of all this? I'm still not entirely sure all the things Senma may have me doing. But thats a bridge I'll cross, or not cross when I get to it.


  • So here I sit, bored outside the south gates. I woke up this morning and checked my little gnomish scroll. Ama'bael wasn't too far north, so I decided I'd go and bother her for a little while. Came across a large group, had almost everyone in it. Unfortunately, it was right as they were leaving.. Belia said hello followed up by a goodbye from Eluriel, and off they went. It was a little dissheartening, as I really couldn't find any of my other friends. Ginger made me feel better though, she gave me a hug, and a pastry. Shes really sweet, I miss the old days, when we had more time to spend with each other.

    Beyond that though. I keep watching Corwin chase around Reo out here by the gates. Call it my guess, or whatever you want to call it, but something deep down tells me that Corwin hates me. It must run in the family.. bloodlines being as thick as they are.

    Oh, I did have fun the other day. There was a festival of sorts, involving alot of oily silly games. It was all hosted by the sails, so of course, Sabre was there. In an outfit that I've never seen before! Probably due to the fact that there was very little outfit to actually see. She had a helper with her this time, a new one to her group that I was able to introduce myself too.

    It wasn't the most formal introduction. Most times you shake someones.. uh.. hand. Although, I was invisable, so I guess she could have done whatever she wanted without worry. I spent most of the festival with this Senma girl, and durring the second event, became her chair and hoisted her up on my shoulders. She was one of the judges for.. what could only be described as incredibly difficult pole-dancing. It showed off alot of uh.. talent, from some of the people I know.

    Even Yana. Its strange I know, but I've always looked at Yana and saw that little blonde girl I watched grow up. But.. shes deffinately not a little kid anymore. Shes.. well shes Yana. And its impossible to think of her as a little kid now. Although, I'm glad she actually enjoyed herself at the festival. She needs to have more silly fun. I know she didn't enjoy oil wrestling.. as shes incredibly skilled, even when slippery and wearing next to nothing. I had fun tossing(and being tossed) in that fight, even if she did beat me pretty easily. I'll have to spend more time with her, give her mind a little vacation off work and duty.

    The festival ended, and everyone was saying their goodbyes. I invited Senma down to the rawlins sometime. I'm actually looking forward to it if she decides to visit.

    On the boat back south.. Fadia made mention that Senma is another of my admirers. Or that I may be one of hers. If I had to put it in words though. We had just met, but theres this, flare about her that I can't really explain…

    Dondiahs little marker just showed up on my map-scroll. I'll visit her, its been a long time since we've talked.

    .... And about half-way up the pass she vanishes from my scroll. I was close to peltarch anyway, so I made my way in. Found Aelthas, about to go full wolf on some bard flirting with Lycka. I tried asking him something.. but yeah.. about to go wolf on that bard..

    Yngdirs words keep ringing true today "Ever feel completely ignored?"

    Sitting here atop peltarch's south gate.. decided its been a bad day.


  • The days have gone by well. I had a little fun with Fadia and Rith while in the water of the den. Water-breathing is incredible, and with the right glowing light, everything under the water can become red, blue, green.. its amazing! Rith teased us a little.. so, when she left..

    Fun things can be done underwater with Fadia.

    We also got to swim with Tindra after, she seemed to enjoy the water breathing. Shes asked that Fadia and I help get her a panther so she can have a familiar. Its not going to be an easy task, but its for Tindra, so we can do this.

    I had another vision too, out by the waterfall with Rith. It had the same woman from before, with the rune-stones, the vision made little to no sense.. as, she, along with those she was speaking with, were all talking in celestial, and too quickly for me to make out words for noises. After I snapped out of the vision, Rith told me a little about her meeting with that elf named Poison. Or Nightshade. He says.. that I'm inheriting Adriells legacy. That 'Fate' is finishing with me, what she started with her.

    Oh, and just recently I've had a visitor. One that was actually seeking me out and not someone I know. The man is named Travis. The interesting thing about him, is.. he bears a striking resemblance to Attentus. Maybe a bit younger.. but I've always been bad at age. He carried a staff with him, calling it the 'keystaff' and with it, he could activate my portal sword. He's offered to help me learn about it, which will be nice after all these years..

    Maybe if I meet the other Thorn again in that pocket plane, I'll be able to use the blade as he could.


  • Its been a long long time since I've opened up this book. But alot has happened..

    Rasuil seems to be getting along great with Sabre. They were inseperable at fight night. Its about time too. I was thinking I'd have to take his stick and smack him around a few times. Of course.. that might happen anyway, since he's been letting Ky out to play.

    Jerricks finally getting out of the house. I'm not sure if Ras has told him about Ky.. though, Lorie knows, so Jerrick might. I'm not sure what they're going to do about that dragon, but he's getting bigger, and more dangerous. For now I'm just enjoying time with Jerrick, its been a long time and I've missed the druid. I think I'll kidnap him to another plane or something for some type of adventure.. if I can get my sword to work.

    I've got an incredible safety net of close friends, and it showed last fightnight. Everything was going well.. I caught up a little with Yana. Messed around with Grog. Just enjoying myself.. and then Myrrha showed up. I haven't seen the dryad since she ran away in tears years ago.. Shes completely ignoring me, as if I were dead. It more than hurt.. and I'm reminded of it everytime I look through my gem collection. Hard to believe I've collected over six hundred gems that were all meant for her.. Shes the whole reason I started collecting in the first place.

    In brighter news, one of my bards has returned. Zyph himself. He's a little roughed up, but Jerrick fixed him. Can't believe he's been gone for so long.. we've got alot to catch him up on. He didn't even know why we have norwick ruins.

    I've also made another little friend to goof around with. Moon, she really is adorable, though I know she can't stand being thought of as such. Shes deffinately not some little kid, shes a full grown woman, just adorable. Shes also a really cold little hin. Not in personality, but her skin has a cold chill to it, some sort of curse or mark. Shes always cold, and therefore, loves being held and hugged, which works out well for us, since we do that alot anyway. She draws too, and now she has a picture of Rith, and myself in her book. Little Moonie has some bard blood in her.


  • Things have gone back to normal. Rith and I had a long talk, and.. well now we're fine. Shes come to make a few decisions, and its about time. I was starting to get worried about her. She played around with me and Tindra in the den, with spells mind you.. hold spells … cheating.

    Ah well, Tindra was bound to see me naked eventually.

    Shes my newest scout recruit. Which is good, because now I can keep a close eye on her. I'm not all too sure how the other elves view her now. After the comments I've heard from some of them, I'm starting to think I'll have to defend her against them. If it comes to that, then so be it. Shes my elf. And I'm to blame for her actually being an elf.

    Sometimes I don't know how I do these things.

    I had another vision, a short one, very.. annoyingly cryptic. Had it right in front of Rasuil too. He smacked me. There were alot of bright lights though, in every color. Screaming and explosions.. and then I saw a wizard above all the chaos, laughing.

    Thats it. Annoyingly cryptic and short. May make sense later on.

    Speaking of Rasuil, his problems with Sabre keep ... well they don't get worse, he's just being stupid and not letting them get any better. All he has to do is be patient and stick with her, how hard is that right? I gave him the best advice I could ... Oh and he's letting the white dragon Ky out. And.. its disturbing how big he gets. He ate a good bit and just grew, visibly, right then. If he keeps growing at this rate he'll be full grown in half a years time. I'm not worried that he'll go after Jerrick when he's full grown. I'm worried he'll go after the kittens for some sort of revenge. I should make some preperations just in case.

    Too add another headache. The elf I've been trying to avoid all this time, for Dondiah. Eluriel walked her straight to me. Way to go Eluriel. I'm not really sure what Rhylin is thinking now.. but the girl seems completely lost and confused. Whatever Dondiah has told her.. well it may work. She knows I'm the same as the dark elf she met.. though shes suposed to call me Brorn? This whole thing is getting annoying.

    But.. I've got Fadia. And I'm so glad that I do. That purple elf can make a horrible day instantly better, just by walking up.

    That reminds me, I asked Val a long time ago to help me craft a gift for her.. I wonder if shes finished it.


  • I got into a fist fight with a locked gate.

    Think the gate won that one.

    Rith wants distance. Being around her right now is like poisoning her.. I can see her point. But why did she lock me in here? I was about to walk out, leave this den and give her the distance she asked. This is her home … hard to distance myself when locked in her home. Fadia healed my hands, I think I broke them. Then she flew off to speak with her.. still, keeping me locked in this place.

    At least I can write. Letters are nice, and easy to send. It gets Shadow off his lazy butt.

    Thinking back on it now. I've come to expect this behavior from Rith. Every so often something will upset her, or bother her to such an extent to behave this way. At least she isn't trying to leave Narfell. I swear this GPS scroll is one of the best investments I've made.

    I hope she takes the time to think.. I guess I'll be here, in this den untill then. Tindra is still here, so I've company, for the time being.

    All this is a bit much, and I know Fadia is going to reach her limit soon. Theres only so much she can handle. We both care about Rith, alot. And so long as we're not stupid, we're going to be around each other for a long time. I still wish she would have saved this whole.. distance thing, for -after- her trip. Maybe then she could sort out her own thoughts. Or at least come to some step of acceptance.

    Time and patience.


  • This books gone dusty. Though looking back on the last entry, I can only say I've become a seer. Visions aside, I can see when something is going to go horribly wrong, as they have now.

    Rhylin, the young elf from 'The Run' has actually come to visit. Dondiah is.. she is doing what she can. Myself? I've locked myself in the den. Where I'll probably have to stay for some time untill this is all over. I fear it will end badly. Though I know if I were to ever come face to face with that girl my guilt would out-weigh my sense.

    This is Dondiahs problem. Its her ritual, her goddess, her faith. The only thing I can do to help her now is by keeping out of the way. Should my help be needed, well she knows where to find me.

    At least I have good company. Fadia, Rith, Tindra, Lorie and Tawny. I'm sure Tojan will visit. Dondiah might stop by.

    … I need more guy friends. Maybe Rasuil will visit.

    I do have plenty of time to think though. Rith is curled up in bed with Tawny now, so the den is quiet. Rith.. had an, interesting experience in the hotsprings with her and Fadia. I'm not entirely sure what to think on it. Maybe I shouldn't put much thought on it. Albiet, teaching Rith to massage on Fadia was probably a bad idea. I just didn't think she would be so, thurough.

    Thoughts for another time.

    I wonder how visions work. I've seen diviners set up mirrors, candles, and all sorts of weird things when trying to -see- something. I've not needed anything like that, though my visions were pretty much thrown at me... can you practice accidental visions?


  • Nothing about that trip felt right at all. Even the whole point of the trip was.. twisted horribly in the lie that we were living.

    To show people dark elves can be good. We did no such, we simply showed that we could be good, dressed up to look like dark elves.

    Thoses elves, they were good people, they protected their own in their beautifull forest in that incredible village. And we lied to them, all of them. Had them believing we were something that we're not. They trusted us, began to like us, or what we pretended to be. Even going so far as to consider us friends.

    And one of the youngest.. a spirited young girl, bright eyed and full of wonder. She thought so highly of us that she eagerly spoke of wanting to become an adventurer, and one day visit us in our home. Wanting us to come back and visit them.. and then.. more lies.

    I only hope she one day does come to Narfell. I only hope she visits the rawlins, so I can apologize to her for the deception we've played. To not only her, but everyone in that village. Specially to those that gave us gifts of friendship before we left. What friends are we.. they don't even know us for who we are, but only for what we lead them to believe.

    I couldn't even accept the gifts. It turned my stomach at the thought. All the forced smiles that had to be made, the lies to gain the trust of that village..

    Eluriel believes me to be acting like Troff. But right now I'm beyond caring what she thinks. If she wishes to be patted on the back in celibration of doing what we did..

    If this is what it means to be an Eliistraeen. Then I want no part in it.

    I was once told by an angel of Corellon that I had Eliistraees love in my heart.. is her love for her children so powerfull that she has her followers lie and decieve good people like this? Is there something I'm missing here? Some way to rationalize it? I can only hope so..

    Here comes Fadia.. a voice of reason I hope.


  • So..

    As a favor to Dondiah. Fadia, Eluriel, Nebs and myself have all taken a boat to some far away island. Made our skin dark, our hair white, and we're attempting to show complete strangers that dark elves can be good.

    Day one started out rough. To even get on the island we had to swim. Well most of us. Eluriel made a jab at me having no patron and not being able to cast a spell to protect myself from the cold waters. So I jumped, and I made it. Which would have been fine had Nebs not been so clumsy. I hadn't even bumped him and he thought it wise to jump out of the way, which.. lead him head first into the water. I got daggers thrown at me from the eyes of Fadia and Dondiah.

    Day two had me do nothing but carry a log filled with food. Which I've named the food-log. Then we got shot at a few times by the locals. Of which I couldn't do anything but stand there and get shot. Then we set up camp.

    Day three had us sitting around the camp most the day, occasionally getting another round of arrows from a shoot and run scare tactic by the local elves. I wanted to scout, to look around. My gut was telling me that it would be best. Everything about me was pulling me out away from our camp. My mind also knew that only an idiot would approach a camp full of dark elves. But a lone one out well away from the others? That is easier to approach. Any attempt I made towards doing so, was shot down. I wasn't allowed to do anything. And none, not even Fadia took the time to listen to the point I was trying to make. I spent the rest of the day, and the night by the cliff, closest to the waterfall I'm not allowed to go sit by, petting an overly friendly deer thats obviously not a druid.

    Day four. An arrow with a messege got me up from my cliff and back into the camp. They agreed to talk to one of us. It was decided to be Dondiah. Everyone wanted to move the camp a little closer to their village, which, was a horrible idea. They extended a hand, they never once opened the door. I whispered this to Fadia, hoping she would understand. She did. The camp was left where it is. Dondiah went off to speak, and I returned to my cliff… only to get some type of lecture from Fadia.

    The night following, through the morning of day five had is in a spider cave. The local elves had drow problems in the past, and the drow had left a huge spider in their mines. Our task was to kill it, and bring back its fangs. I got poisoned, badly. In so much that I couldn't even lift my arms and legs. Which was only made worse, as Eluriel berated me for not having a scroll to cure it. At that point it seemed she was more annoyed at the fact that she had to waste a scroll on me. I probably should have just crawled out of the cave.

    Here I am though at the end of day six. We're at a new camp the local elves decided to trust us with. Surrounded by high cliffs.. all I've noticed with archers lined along the top, watching us at every moment. It feels like a cage. I've stayed quiet mostly. I have noticed that Nebs seems completely incapable of taking care of himself in camp. Eluriel has tried her best to teach by example. Though its not working. I was able to get him to hold a few things as I set up a tent, though it was obvious he had no interest in helping.

    Dondiah has entertained a few guests. Dancing, singing, she can teach them that. Eluriel can teach them her skills in wood working. Fadia has her herbs, Nebs his.. magic. I'm just a scout, and theres not a thing I can teach these elves that they haven't already mastered.

    So here I sit, up on this tree with dark skin, white hair.. and a bird that obviously does not like my company.


  • Here I am, once again stuck in someone elses home, and trapped untill they return. I'm reminded of the pillow fortress I made when this happened to me at Jerricks.

    …

    Can't find any pillows.

    Tindra, Rith, and Fadia.. one of them will come along soon and let me out.

    This den really is nice. Its larger than Jerricks house so it gives me something to do. Theres an archery target too. And a hotspring. Fadia also has a few piles of books in her room. Then of course there is Tawny. The cat has gotten big, but enjoys attention still, just like a cub.

    Six bullseyes! I sometimes doubt I'll ever get close to the record Benji set. But I can be proud of this, for tonight.

    Troff is alive. And I thought I called it so I flipped back through a few pages. Yes, I called it.

    ... books. . . boring

    I've spotted a bit of water dripping from the top of the cave.

    And I've gotten bored of watching that.

    Fadia has a very comfortable bedroll. Its.. almost fluffed. Think I'll just lay here for a while.


  • I feel lighter.. more, myself. More me than what I have been recently. It really is all thanks to Fadia.

    Through everything shes been beside me. Right beside me actually. Shes rarely left my side unless it was of great importance. And.. I've been stupid, completely and utterly stupid. Trying to push her away at times, caught up in worry, in fear.. self pity? She knows me for who I am, what I am and with all the mess I come with, shes accepted that, happily.. and..

    No more. No I can't go on living this way. Going on as if I could never love another.. its, just stupid. Can I love Fadia as I do Adriell? Honestly, no. I'll never be able to have that with Fadia. Does it mean I can't or don't love her? No, not in the slightest. Will Fadia be able to love me as she did Oreth? Of course not, nothing that strong. But that doesn't mean she doesn't, or can't love me. There will always be thoughts of Oreth in her mind, as there will always be thoughts of Adriell in mine. Its not something we can change.

    Many people, myself included always go about thinking to find 'the one'. The one person in all their life that can complete them. Do I believe this impossible? No, its possible. But to think that only -one- person in all of toril will be that person? It doesn't make much sense. Were I to have met Fadia before Oreth, would we be as we are now? Would we have bonded? Possibly. Would that Fadia, Adriell and myself were scattered to the farthest reaches never to meet in our long lives. Would we all have found someone so akin to us to be -that one-. I believe we would.

    Adriell is my bonded, and as such, no matter where she is, goes, or will be that is what she'll remain. Even with her gone, I still love her. I'm left with confusion, doubt and worry. But I still love her. If I could have one wish it would be to know where she is. But.. not even Fate knows where she is. Its as clear as the visions I've been seeing. Visions meant for her, passed onto me. I've no doubt I'll see her again. I'm young still, and have many many years to live if I don't do anything overly stupid. It may be ten years from now, or it may be hundreds of years from now when Norwick and Peltarch has fallen ten times over and the rawlins burnt down and grown back from whatever enemies that may try.

    But I will not be misserable. I'm sick of it. Others are sick of it. Squeaks put it quite bluntly that she is. And as patient as Fadia is, she'd much rather see me happy. All I have to do is.. stop being so stupid.

    Fadia cares deeply for me, and I her. I can't deny that. And I have to stop beating myself up over it thinking it is wrong.


  • I'm sick of the shadovar and their stupid war.. so many fell.. and Troff hasn't come back. He'll come back.. I know he will. Yngdir came back, took him a while but he came back.

    Squeaks took it hard, first Cara and now Troff, shes angry at them, for giving up, for leaving her… and as much as I try to rationalize it, the truth is, they did..

    I met a woman today though, named Kara. She was very nice, very polite. Though.. I swear she could stare straight into my soul if she wanted. Fadia knew her, and she helped me understand some of the visions..

    DarkThorn. All I know is he's a very powerfull, evil thing with a desire to cause despair and corruption. He's also called Thorn of darkness ... which even though has its ironic humor, should be taken seriously.

    Theres so much about all of this I don't know, Fadia and Kara just talked away about.. a bunch of stuff that I couldn't even grasp at.

    I did get my second vision translated though.

    "The Bearer of Light has died, so that others may live.
    Thorn of Darkness lingers, his shards taint and consume.
    Their taint will spread and Hope will falter, and by her pain will Despair be free.
    Within the dark night, Stars of Fate must shine together... or the world will be covered in shadows."

    ...

    Visions suck.

    Fadia will explain more soon.. just need to pull myself together. Adriell would know everything here.. she would know all this. What these visions meant, what to do, when? But.. shes not.. shes not.

    So it falls on me. Not a druid. Not a caster, not a powerfull priest or priestess, or a diviner or a seer. Gods what can I do here?


  • Another night, another vision.. though this one doesn't seem as horrible or dark as the last. Just confusing.. very confusing.

    A woman with brown hair was sitting by a fire under a starry night sky. She was wearing clothes made up of all sorts of furs.. which seemed to fit as everything around her was covered in snow. She threw some odd rune stones in front of her and studied them.. her eyes almost seemed.. trance like.. then she started to speak. Unfortunately its a language I don't know.. so attempting to write it down has proved.. pointless.

    Fortunately I remember it perfectly, and can just repeat what I heard. At least one word she said I know. Toril.

    After her.. weird language. She blinked.. then frowned, and began to write.. wish I saw more but … that was it.

    Visions suck that way.

    On the bright side I was able to have a nice walk with Eluriel. We spoke of a few things, weird ghosts... odd happenings around the woods. Sy, his bow. Eluriels bows and who she crafted them for. Even her current suit of armor. She hates the colors, says they're bland. I don't believe it matters much. The colors were very woodsy, and she looked good in them. Its not the color of the suit thats important, but the elf inside. Eluriel is Eluriel, even if she isn't wearing blue.

    I enjoyed our walk, talk, hobgoblin hunt.. thing. Even gave her the scroll I'd been saving for her. Didn't mention the second vision.. as, well, it would have probably ruined the walk. Maybe tommorow.


  • I've spoken with others. My elders first. Eluriel and Sy. Sy didn't say much, though Eluriel said alot. At first she seemed to think it was all a lie, some trick being played on me, that the vision held no truth. But then she said other things. Things that made sense, in a way.

    Maybe the feather is me, represents me. That I've been left alone, in a cold wasteland, falling. Or maybe its not. Maybe its all just.. a lie?

    I talked with Jerrick on it too. The first thing he pointed out was.. quite honestly the one thing I dread most. Could the feather be my connection to Adriell? Could it be the bond? Broken in half and covered in blood..

    Is it meant to break?

    I.. hope not.

    This all over feeling of my life being threatened at every moment.. its heavy. I don't want it to break, I don't want to hurt Adriell, and.. to be honest I'm scared to die this way. I've died before, but had plenty if things pushing me to come back. To keep going. But I've seen first-hand what happens when a bond breaks.. if I died, I don't think I could come back. If I lived.. would I be myself, or, a hollow shell of who I was?

    I should have some things done, just in case.

    I hugged Raryldor for the first time. I've known him a long time, but never once hugged him untill now. Despite all he's done and been through, he is still my elder. He's saved my life a few times, and has always treated me as a young one. Though, I believe I found some measure of respect with him that one day with the bugbear. Its not so often you have to save the life of a powerfill priest.

    I would like to carry on a casual conversation with Eluriel. I can't seem to do that without tripping over my own thoughts, saying something stupid, or forgetting what semblance I have left of proper manners. Shes always been a symbal in my life, specially as a pup. Proper, elegant, and skilled as I'll probably never be. And even with all that, she suprises me on occasions with her behavior. Shes truly a riddle within a puzzle within yet another riddle, and one I'm glad that I haven't been able to figure out.

    More later I guess, the sun is rising.


  • Things are going from bad to worse… bad to worse. Or maybe its not as bad as I fear..

    fear, is that the cause?

    Start at the beggining.. I was in norwick, Elidur is back.. he made some, brutally true comment about my relationships that, put me in a horrible mood. I left.. wanting to go home. Squeaks and Fadia following. I became tired.. very tired. I managed, barely, to get home to the den with Fadias help. Nearly making it to a bed.. we colapsed on the floor.

    Waking up. We were surrounded by snow, in a dark land.. with nothing around us but a vast emptiness of snow covered hills.

    There was a black feather floating in the air before us. I tried to reach out to grab it.. it seemed familiar.

    But then everything stopped. The snow, the feather, time itself.. all but myself and Fadia. Everything was hanging in place, frozen.

    The fey of nightmares showed up, upset, angry.. something went wrong with this dream he set up. It was a messege, for an elf.. he pulled out his notes, and began weaving darkness into the form of an elven woman.. one, that.. was all too familiar.

    It was for Adriell.. the black feather from before, the one I gave her.. the one she always had in her hair. I had to describe her.. down to her last detail.. she was deffinately the one this.. dream messege was meant for.

    The fey made a mistake.. he couldn't find her, he only had her aura.. and brief description to go on, from someone he reffered to as 'Fate'. He pulled me, accidently.. because our auras are.. mixed.

    He said, since I am her bonded, he should allow the messege to continue, and I agreed.. hoping in some way to figure all this out.

    Time went back, snow fell up, then paused as it was once we first arrived. Fadia caught the black feather as it fell. It was deffinately hers.. there was no doubt about it. When the feather landed in Fadias hand.. it was covered in blood, and broken in half. The thought of what that could mean.. it shook me. Untill a woman screamed off into the distance.

    We approached a woman, one.. who I couldn't recognize. She screamed 'NO!! YOU BETRAYED US!' while caught in a red magical prison. Standing before a large ghost of some sort.. I'm not a paladin, or a priest, but I could feel the evil from that thing the moment I stepped close. It was chanting, casting spells on her.. killing her, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. It was as if, we weren't even there.

    "Hope dies" are the words it said when she fell, drawing her last breath.

    It took something from the ground beside her corpse.. a gem of some sort, possiblt a diamond.

    "And now Despair will blanket the lands..."

    As it laughed.. a horrible dark laugh. It started to get darker, darker, untill eventually nothing was seen but its red eyes. Then we awoke.. back in the floor at the den.

    I let Fadia out.. but I haven't left the den since. Only the feys words are keeping me from.. just breaking right now.

    "Oh yes, the feather is important. Just be carefull what you interperet of it."


  • Dondiah has returned home, I just wish it was on better circumstances. I feel horrible for not having the foresight to have protected her from the mess shes in. But then again.. its the same thing I myself am going through. She has me though, and she has Fadia. Good place to start rebuilding life.

    Jerrick spoke with me recently about my problems. He couldn't very well tell me what to do. But he offered advice. Do what makes me happy. As the years pass by.. I have to do just that. Do I want to be misserable for the next five, ten? What of the next hundred years, and beyond that? I can't say I like the thought of all that time passing, and me being stuck feeling this way.

    Take action. He said.

    So I did. Did something I've always wanted to do. Gathered up a bunch of rope, took Dondiah up to sams hill.. or sams hole. Planning on climbing down to explore that cave by the waters. Dondaih had to leave.. and that left me with. Helena.. Some caster girl I didn't know. And thank the gods Jerrick. Those girls took me back to my days of Hedia and Clandra. They did make things fun though. The whole cavern was full of troglodytes. Lizards I haven't seen since years back, south in the rawlins. It was all and all an easy adventure. Untill of course we got chased out of the cave by a red dragon. It was on our heels the whole run through, stomping, swiping, breathing fire. Crawling through the small corridors and busting through to get to us.

    I felt alive!

    We got out, and the dragon was too big to follow us back out into the pass. But now I know where a dragon is should I ever feel the need to have dragon skin.

    Something else of note.. land-sharks … sneeze when they sniff me.


  • I think alot when I'm up on these cliffs.

    Its nice up here, when you climb high enough you can see past the tree tops and look down over all the rawlins, all of norwick. You can see spellweaver keep sticking up. And to the north if you look hard enough theres peltarch off in the distance.

    I've been here a very long time. Seen these lands and its people go through so much. War, always war. Fightning never ends. It doesn't matter how many goblins I take down, more will always replace them. The undead never rest, they always rise back up. It doesn't matter where people gather, there will always be struggles. Be it against evil creatures, or against themself. Fightning and war must just be in their nature. I'm somewhat greatfull we have goblins, undead and the like. With them around, a constant threat to the lives of the people that live here. They don't turn on each other, but instead, band together to take down a common enemy. Most times anyway.

    Theres been alot more elves about. Its nice to see, but makes me wonder. Is it my place to climb down, and hold their hands as they make their adventures? I think back to my asbence with my sister Eli. How young, and reliant she was on me before then. Upon my return she had grown up, even became headmaster of the scouts, and a loving mother of three. Was it my coddling that kept her from becoming who she is now? I try my best to help others, but maybe I overdo it, maybe I smother them, and cause more harm than good.

    Maybe its not my place. But as Rith once told me about the menhirs. You can't just turn them off. War, battles, life itself. Its the same way. It will go on with or without me meddling in its affairs.

    I do love watching the starting steps of new adventurers. I love seeing them go from the green bloods to seasoned warriors. Watching them grow and seeing how life here shapes and molds them into the people they will be. A nudge here, a helping hand there, and I can also set into motion change in their lives.

    Maybe I meddle too much, but then again, maybe I think too much.