Shadows and light - Kara's Journal.
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Duty
_That burning sensation in my arms..
This is the first lull in fighting that we've gotten in the last day and a half and I'm ready to just collapse…I'm still not sure what's keeping us all going besides an obscene belief in the duty we are doing.
Vampire scum everywhere in this accursed forest.
We'll be moving again shortly, this place isn't a safe camp spot.
Gods, I miss him...and a warm bed that isn't the stony ground._
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The Enemy
_Their infestation has spread beyond the Rawlins and into the Pass now. I don't remember the details terribly clearly, one moment we were trudging through the pass and came across a corrupted hobgoblin or two. Puzzled, we continued into their cave where we were ambushed by elements of the three hundreth and sixty-eighth abyssal legion under the prince of undeath.
What I do remember is almost cutting Ronan down as magic flew. He looked like an incubus at the time…what was I supposed to do? I've suffered their presence in my dreams before, I was not going to allow it again..
I think we made our way out at that point, having finally taken the head of a larger vrock. It is amazing how cowardly they are when they are affected by mortality.
We were ambushed twice on the way, which I only remember in a daze. My vision was far too busy spinning to be able to focus on anything except getting away to recover.
What does trouble me is the expanding influence they have. They've spread from the Rawlins and presumably taken over the lower bowels of the hobgoblin cave. That they did this is not surprising...that they were able to claim the cave without anyone noticing is. It led us to suspect that they may have created a magical link back to their fortress from within the hobgoblin caves.
It also removes any doubt that we have to exterminate this new threat as soon as possible, and take the head of 'Haxan' , the name that Zyph murmured about before we commited to a running battle outside of the hobgoblin caves.
We're so outnumbered, it is unbelievable._
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Thoughts
_I haven't much to add this day, unfortunatly. Life has been rather quiet after the trip with the five into the Cold caves.
It's funny, I never thought we'd see such quiet times, but it does seem that the land had other ideas. With the little lady's minions only encroaching some nights, it seems like that is the onl thing happening any more. I haven't seen a major issue that isn't being dealt with in some time.
I'm almost finding myself at a loss for things to do when there is noone else around.
There is one constant in my life right now and that is Jerrick. I'm not sure how it originally happened, but I am eternally grateful to Tymora for bringing me the luck to meet such a wonderful man. Let us just hope that luck extends to him staying around this time…I'm growing incredibly tired with those dear to me disappearing.
That reminds me though, I think I may go and visit the city library. Time to catch up on some reading._
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The Suicidal Five.
_So a Dinosaur, a Druid, a Paladin, a Pretty boy and something pink walk into a cave…
Innocent beginning you would think, no?
'The suicidal five'
That is what we called the group of five companions that went down into the cold caves for a simple wander. Before we had even gotten into the caverns, we were facing heavy resistance with one of the most rag-tag groups I have ever seen.
We made it though. We fought our way through Ogre. Gnoll headhunters, pools of Ooze that tried to eat Ael, culminating in one large final battle between nearly fifty ogres and our little group of five.
Most worrying was the ooze that we found. It wa surmised to be the same ooze that had been an experiment with the old nars that had been stored away in various lost labs throughout Narfell. It appears quite viscous and aggressive, having reached out to try and envelop Ael and Jerrick on at least two separate occasions.
It is interesting to note that water appears to have a diluting effect on the slimes themselves, and that live material, such as flesh appears to dissolve on contact with the undiluted liquid. Most concerning is that it expands as it envelops and melts material.
Jerrick knows what he's doing regarding the ooze though, so I'll leave it to him, though I plan to offer him as much support as I can manage.
Still. What a day._
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Burdens
_As I flick back through this journal and read through the various pages that I've written in the past, I realise just how much has been left unsaid, unrecorded. It would be a full time vocation to record every individual piece of trouble that happens in Narfell. It is a full time vocation to care about what happens to the people of this land as well, one that I do not think I will ever be free of. For people such as the Order, the only release from duty is that of the final death.
I see it in their eyes sometimes, Hear it in their voices. Growing tired of helping others when all people do in return is insult and berate you.
So am I. Oh so tired.
In other news, so much has happened since my last journal entry, both wonderful and heinous. I'll start with the heinous, as it's always better to get the bad news out the way first, rather than let someone worry and linger on what 'could' be the bad news.
Anyway, the demon threat in the Rawlins is getting worse and we are not really that much closer to a solution than we were some tendays ago. I did send word to Grag though and asked that he take over with the leading of the group that is to be assembled. People follow him without question and actually listen to what he has to say, which makes him the best choice for a leader in this case.
The shield will still be helping. We have information to share with everyone on a whole and a large group to assemble in the mean time. When the time comes, I will still be on the front, protecting others. I just don't want the burden of keeping so many people safe. Not again.
The past should remain that way.
Working it this way also frees us up to work on group tactics, and just how we are going to siege this fortress that the demons have erected.
To make matters worse, a knight in red and black armour has begun harrasing Norwick and it's people, as well as having slaughtered an entire inn and got Elyl (somehow) into an agreement where he tainted his own honour. He is now branded as a result, one that will not be removed easily, or I suspect, without bloodshed.
For the last two days, I have been holding vigil by his side, here in Oscura. He was brought down here because Dagon is probably the most knowledgeable on brands, possesions and exorcisms in Narfell at the moment.
At the moment, any kind of healing magic causes him excruciating pain, so all we can do is treat with bandages and hope that his wounds do not grow infected. That demon is going to pay in pools of it's own blood for lashing out at one of ours.
I'll add some more when I'm not exhausted._
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Home
_First time home in quite a few years now, I am glad to see that the old keep is still standing firm after all this time. Lucien was a good choice to leave in charge of the place after all. Even if he still has problems wrapping his head around the notion that I stopped aging some time ago. So instead, I settle for merely smiling whenever he asks.
As for the journey, it was as to be expected on Midwinter, quiet and cold.
I needed the break from Narfell to be honest….while it is a land with more questions than answers, I do grow tired of it at times. Occasionally that annoyance grows enough to return home for a while and muse over what could have been, had I not mustered out of the Purple dragons originally. I do miss the Order and the dragons from time to time, as it was the finest point of my long life.
Still...Narfell isn't without it's lures. I had been spending quite a fair bit of time with Jerrick recently and I regret none of it. I'm not rightly sure what it is about him that keeps drawing me, only that that smile of his is infectious.
In the mean time, I am hoping that we can finally finish dealing with the heart of winter. Alot of people had begun to ask after the relic and I will feel alot more at ease when it is finally returned to it's rightful owners, if only so we don't have to continually dance around the point of whether we have the sword or not.
With that, it's time to go visit the stables for a while, as it has been far too long since I have rode anywhere._
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Reckoning
_The time is at hand to call Nephilim, the son of gods. We have gathered all the pieces, continued to soldier on through the hardship provided by the little lady and the insanity following our curse. None of us are sure what to expect by combining the armour all on one person..
I was chosen to wear it all, being the one who was picked as scion. The magic surrounding these artifacts was palpable as they were joined together once more. There were five in total ; Bracers, Greaves, Amulet, Cloak and Belt. Once combined…they began to shimmer with magic until a glow completely surrounded them. After a few very long moments, the items and the glow shifted to a pattern forming infront of me.
A few moments later and a a man commanding real authority stood before us. Our task was complete and we had managed to call Nephilim back from the hellish nightmare he had been trapped in, and in the process, trapping ourselves in limbo while the soon-to-be confrontation began.
He was not pleased to have been called initially, and demanded to know which of us was the scion.
His intent was to slay the scion and end the cycle which he had started, oh so long ago. Nothing could have prepared us for the confrontation.
It was all a blur.
As soon as he began calling upon his power, we all did the same and then he dove forward, cutting a bloody swath through four of us before we knew what had happened. All I remember is dropping to the floor and losing consciousness while the fight still raged.
Son of Gods indeed. Given the chance, I would have liked to of trained with him to learn at least a little of his ability. He was awe-inspiring that day.
When I woke...the others were half sprawled out over the couches in the gathering chamber, just as dazed as I was from the confrontation. Laying not far from my foot was also a pile of equipment, where Nephilim had stood and fought, and subsequently been defeated in a trial by combat.
Whether or not we realised it, we had freed him and ourselves. Nephilim himself confirmed this when he returned to us as a hound archon. He had been freed of his madness and the curse had been lifted. He could finally know rest at his god's side.
There is more to be done...though just for today, we can rest easy._
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Mistaken Identity
_I…I almost killed an innocent man today..
Eluriel, Meril and myself were standing just outside their glade, speaking about how the hallucenations were getting worse when two ...things approached us and uttered some inane babble that we made out to be 'get on the ground and get undressed'..
Needless to say, we didn't take too well to two 'demons'...so we attacked them...the foremost one fell within a sword swing...too weak to be a demon. After a very sharp throbbing pain in our heads...we saw the truth. It wasn't a demon at all! it was a man...that I had almost killed for absolutely nothing
These visions are getting worse...it's all coming true. Are we going insane?
Not a day before...Eluriel had seen a zombie, she naturally shot it. When we approached to look over the single zombie...we all saw a man, with a Eluriel's feathered arrow sticking from his back. Had she just killed an innocent..? Mecizq later confirmed that it was infact a zombie and that we had just been hallucenating..
Gods above though, these visions are getting worse. Who will be next? a friend? a loved one?
This has to end._
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Moruss
_We're starting to fall in droves now….one here, two there. Each visit from the little lady sees more and more death, with our options shrinking with each fight. The worst battle had to be outside the shrine of Kelemvor, where she brought out her forces enmass because we hadn't gotten on holy ground fast enough.
It was the worst battle that we have seen yet, with both Natanya, two paladins from the shrine and myself falling in battle to those dreaded Bodaks....Gods above, I hate those things...their screech is horrible. One moment of weakness brought on another...I should never have taken that offer. They all knew what had happened..roland very nearly removed me from the order for it, although cool heads prevailed. That I am shamed with the reminder of my actions is enough in his eyes, I would wager.
It is too late to let it get to me now. We have our tasks to get to, gates to prepare to enter. It is all we can do.
A little bit of hope though...we have learned of an ancient trial by combat that would allow us to challenge the little lady and her champions....if we won, she would be banished on a permenant basis.
I just hope we can manage to call it._
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The little lady of infernus
_I recall our first meeting outside jiyyd so long ago and I stood defiantly infront of her, refusing to play her games….to deal with that I had promised and sworn to destroy without question. Yet...
She was different.
She wasn't just undead...she was emotion...she was hatred, fear and rage. They all fed her and increased her power. Every time someone struck her, whether it was in hatred or a sense of righteousness. She picked her target well, there is nothing Kelemvor hates more than the walking dead and by proxy, me.
She had been harrasing us for quite some time now...on and off until we came to the gates to the abyss..or the halls as we called them. We became less of a nuisance and more of a credible threat to her. Up until now, she had merely send some undead...enough to be stopped in short order without any kind of group..
Then the running battles started.
Waves upon waves of undead marked with dark energy. When the first attack upon jiyyd came, wild magic from the stolen orb was still a major issue. Casting spells at all was a severe problem. The attack upon a settlement marked her starting a 'serious' resistance to hamper our efforts to destroy her. Apparently she knew of Syne and the bonding in the halls...how I do not know, just that she knows.
So now we struggle each night to prevent attack after attack on our own selves and settlements themselves.....it has gotten to the point where we are separating ourselves from the region at large come nightfall and hiding in hallowed grounds. It does NOT feel right, but it is the only option we have. By day, we try and warn people of what they face and the dangers of taking her as harmless.
A way to defeat her was discovered though...positive energy disrupts her presence on this plane and stems the assault each night. It is rare we see her twice in one night after her 'body' has been destroyed.
At the same time we endure her attacks, the halluncenations and violent emotion changes keep becoming more frequent...at least twice now, I've been murderously angry at absolutely nothing...I think a cup fell and shattered...I felt so much rage.
We are truely in the dark here, with no guide._
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Enduring
_As we learn more about the prediciment we're in…the more I am certain that we have made a rash mistake in opening and passing through the gates. Every night this tenday, I have been waking up sobbing at the nightmares that come to me.
The first one showed the south of narfell entirely aflame, fallen and butchered by the enslaught of demons that had preceeded the warnings we had been given. The City, once a mighty bastion of civilization and hope was now a shadow of what it was...
...yet it still stood.
I saw the order all die, one after the other to the advancing demon horde. All through the eyes of her....
..when I finally woke, the sheets were soaked with sweat.
I feel so dirty. So violated.
And there is nothing I can do except bare it._
(this entry appears to have been written and rewritten several times, with blotchy smudging on some of the page that suggests the ink was still a bit wet when it was written)
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The following pages are full of designs for different suits of armour and forged blades
Although there is a clear lack of skill, the drawings are at least legible and make sense.
Following that is a small entry.
_Creation and design always makes me feel calm for some odd reason. I don't know why, but it is how these suits of armour were conceived. I wish I knew where Aelthas was because at this very moment..
With all the order under pressure from the shadow of the halls…there is noone I can talk with. Natanya is probably the only one I can sit down and just speak of worry with because she understands.
She is more or less the sister I never had._
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Oaths
Is it true what they say,
Are we too blind to find a way?
Fear of the unknown cloud our hearts today.
Come into my world,
See through my eyes.
Try to understand,
Don't want to lose what we haveI spoke with Daisy shortly after bringing the others back from the bathhouse and the halls of pride….she explained a little of our plight and well...I did not enjoy the news.
She asked that I swear never to use the power over the order that I had and I agreed. I would never wish to use it in the first place...these are the people I care the most for...regardless of what may happen between us.
None of them know that I met Syne and Maya in that final room. At least...I believe they don't know...they looked too zombified at the time to even register anything. We spoke for a time, Syne and myself and he was surprised that Roland or Natanya wasn't the one before him. Was it all a trick? I watched them all die...I...I even killed Roland. That he asked is besides the point.
I've killed someone that I swore an oath to protect, because he asked...because none of us wished to choose who would die in that accursed place.
Worst still.
His voice reaches me even in the sanctuary of Tyr. He wished to talk....I should have said no, but I could not help the feeling that speaking with him and dismissing his heretic ideas would give me at least a few marks peace. Noone could see him. Not even daisy could and she was standing infront of him!
What trickery is this?!
Nonetheless, there is a certain irony that he was the first to speak plainly of our situation in many days now. He did explain that 'his knights' were going on to do glorious deeds with him....I am not his knight and I never will be.
Yet, I cannot escape it...at every turn, his servants are there just at the corner of your eye....yet never fully there. I feel their presence more and more now. They would offer comfort where the order gives none...though I would have none of it.
Gods help us all...I do not know if there is a way out of this..
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Solitude
For the first time in years…I cried myself to sleep last night. The realisation of what has been done to us has finally dawned and the weight that I now carry is mine alone. Were the halls meant to merely strip weak emotions such as sacrifice? Shannon was the first...he would have died to save any of us.
I feel more alone now than ever before.
My dreams are plagued by visions of a supposed future and I am hounded by devils who want to 'protect' the scion. Why?
I cannot tell the others...yet...I think they all know the damage it is doing to us. They couldn't understand. They were not the ones who soul bound their own friends and loved ones to themselves. They weren't the ones who had to endure giving them orders because they were bound to a single will.
I don't want this...but at the same time, there is no going back.
I feel so alone.
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Gathering shadow
Something is amiss in the temple…everyone can see that, feel that..An air of ice fills the lower levels ; no longer providing the serene comfort it once did to us in our time away from the halls and all of this madness...
I worry for the others along with myself....I..am already starting to see things...my emotions running unpredicably wild. Just today...I broke down into a fit of tears.
...
It has been years since I have weeped...it is NOT my doing.
I'll endure this...Stay strong for the others because we must. Too many innocents city in this city to slip. I've kept myself relatively sane so far...how? Syne appears, we talk and I dismiss his ideas out of hand...that is what I'm bound to do. He can't be right...Can he..?
I have to stay strong for them.
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I can see what you see not,
Vision milky then eyes rot.
When you turn they will be gone,
Whispering their hidden song.
Then you see what cannot be,
Shadows move where light should be.
Out of darkness, out of mind,
Cast down into the halls of the blindMeetings
Ever since our return from the halls, I hear him in my head…I see him where others do not. Why?! have I been damned to an eternity with a devil? He spoke of alot of things, yet I refused to listen...I struggled against him rather than heed his warnings, his 'advice'He claims us as his knights, that we will do great and glorious things together, starting with destroying the little lady of infernus. We had encountered her before the halls, though we could do nothing besides weather her assaults at the time. He spoke of the bond...things we would experience ; Powerful emotion that would oft hit us unexpectedly. I did not believe him at first, though how did he manage to pass the wards in the temple?
Soon after, I blacked out for no reason...it was all so sudden..I found myself laying face down on the library floor when I came to...
Just what is happening to us?!
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Pride - The halls of Madness
Overriding Virtue : HumilityTo say that we were not ready was an understatement. We carried our pride with us into this hall and it nearly destroyed every one of us. We thought the halls of madness like the others, Simply enter, find the source and destroy it. This hall was different…older somehow. When the song was sung and madness rushed to meet us, we were trapped in that instant, we just did not realise it yet.
When we arrived in the halls, we assumed that we would only fight what we brought with us. How wrong we were...
We were faced with eight doors, each requiring an answer to a puzzle. Each time we got the puzzle wrong, we would be surrounded, or some would say swamped with ghosts. In the course of the halls, Eluriel and Natanya were almost killed, numerous times.
We spent what felt like days...trying to puzzle out these eight riddles. With each riddle and room solved though, there would have to be a sacrifice...the first room, the first sacrifice...Shannon.
The second to fall was Roland...he gave himself to bring Natanya back..I...my own hands are stained with his blood...it was my dagger that plunged into his heart when the others refused to..
Eluriel was third..cut down when we faced Maya in that place. She tried to stop us going any further and to be honest...I think we should have taken her offer. We would not be in this mess now. At the time, we declined..Then we fought. Without any form of healing, it was always going to be a close battle..Maya eventually fell before us, after she felled Eluriel and almost Natanya.
Natanya was the fourth to fall..she fell from the protective circle around us and I could not get to her in time...her screams will always echo in my mind as a tale of horror...Three left that particular room. Mariston, Meril and myself.
The last room was the hardest. We were forced to choose one to go ahead and carry the hopes of us all. Mariston would not accept the burden and Meril didn't wish it....I did not wish this, but noone else did either. With our Scion chosen, Mariston and Meril both fell to darkness and the door swung open before me.
Finally, I came to a long rectangular room, with arcane markings and manicles running all along the room. As I moved further in, I found two familiar faces. Syne and Maya. We spoke for some time until I was asked if I accepted the sacrifices of my friends...if I did not, they would remain there as wraiths..
I chose the only option open to me.
We were all bound. Eight of us. The shield and...Syne to me? He mentioned that but did not elaborate.
We were not prepared for that truth.
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Herald
I think back to the halls we've faced, the demons we've slain…the tricks we were led into and I wonder...Was it truely Syne's doing, or our own? The halls were shown to us, True...We were not however dragged and thrown in. We entered those places of our own accord to do 'the right thing' by keeping them closed to the populace of the city.
We were saved in the halls of rage by three celestials....they sacrificed themselves for our freedom. Who are we to warrent such selflessness? They would have been forever trapped and damned to countless years of torture, had Maya and Natanya not returned to rescue them alone.
They succeeded.
Weeks past until we finally learned of the third gate. We thought it was the final one, but in reality it was not. It was cautioned that we should not go lightly. We did not listen at the time, heading out to seek out the key to get into those halls.
Instead? We found Syne...affected by the madness of the very place we saught to enter. As it turned out, the key was not infact a key...it was a song. Hearing this song had driven him to the brink of madness until he could finally break himself free after passing it on to Natanya.
I don't recall how long we stayed by her side until she recovered...it must have taken incredible will power to survive through that madness without losing a part of yourself.
With that, we were prepared to take on the halls of Madness, as we believed them to be.
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Scion
It is worth recording this, in the event that others follow in our footsteps…perhaps they will learn from the mistakes we made and avoid our fate, along with the Nephilim.
Gluttony - the halls of Hunger
I was not here for the the hall of hunger, though I have heard horror stories from the others of what they saw…what they had been forced to endure. Was it this hall that my brothers were forced to kill each other? They left those halls possesed.As I understand, they were succesful in closing the gate to the prime material plane in Peltarch, I will never open it, regardless if the scion can....there are some horrors this world does not deserve to suffer.
Perhaps they did the same? We found that using the contrary virtue in a specific hall worked to some extent. Hunger would have been temperance.
Wrath - The halls of Rage
I journied on the second visit to this hall and when I arrived…I was shocked what I saw. Countless bodies thrust onto pikes and left to dangle, to die a slow and painful death on the end of cruel barbed spears. This particular hall was so full of anger..it looked like a battlefield of poor souls and their hosts.This particular hall had been travelled once before by different members of our order and they had failed to close it...indeed, they spent a century there as 'guests'...I can only imagine the suffering they must all have went through to survive.
None the less, we fought on through this particular nightmare, slicing down demons left and right until they lay at our feet , smouldering bloody corpses everywhere. In the end, we were met by our host, making demands on one of our fallen. We did not give and so we fought, although we could not win.
In the end, it took the sacrifice of three angels to save our lives from that particular hall. As a note, Compassion is the counter for Anger.
The sun is rising...I will write more later, I need to get some rest before the morrow.
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"We are all bound by our duty..we are very similar, just serve different lords."
How long has it been since I last wrote in this journal? too long I think. Years have passed and believe me, I spent more time than you would believe wiping the dust off of this. I wish I could say that all this time, I have had a peaceful existance, along with peace for others…
The realms has a different idea.
Peace is the notion we all hope will appear one day after a lifetime of carnage and bloody battles, be it on the plains of some country, or around a table. Imagine if the noble who saught to claim more land for himself realised it was all for nothing? Just another patch of land you leave behind when you finally die.
Will anything we do in this life be remembered I wonder?
I would have far too much to write if I tried to fill in everything that has happened since the last journal entry, though I will attempt to describe my latest worry.
Our curse, Nephilim.
They say he was the son of gods, a champion of all that was good and right. He fought for the light along with six companions. I wager he learned of the gates just as we did....he made the same decision we did ; they had to be closed to save the lives of those near to them. It was the halls of pride....it always was.
The Crucible they called it, a hall far older than the others, far more primordial. It's only purpose was to strip someone of all their sins and leave a pure being. Intent mattered in the halls. We did not realise just as he did not realise.
Nephilim approached the halls all wrong...he went to close them, he did not go to purify himself, so when the halls demanded a sacrifice ; Six fell and one was chosen, the Scion. Yet..they were tricked. I suspect an eighth was bound to the scion. We went as he did, with his tokens.
We made the same mistakes. We did not purge our sins and for our troubles, we were left tainted...cursed. Six bound to me...I was chosen as the scion as nephilim had been..only, we were tricked. An eighth was bound to myself, Syne.