Shadows and light - Kara's Journal.



  • Relaxation

    A short entry follows the previous ones, appearing noticibly different in general feeling.

    _We spent the night in each others arms. Nothing explicit happened, though for the first time in easily two, to three months, I relaxed and let my guard down. A soft, gentle trust between us that was never betrayed. If I have missed anything, it was his embrace, his love.

    We are fighting for 'Us' despite everything that's happening. Trying to keep what we have despite being on different sides. It's something other than this war that I can believe in….something that keeps me more or less in line.

    I wish last night could have lasted forever, as selfish as that is.

    Maybe it was foolishness talking...

    I offered to lend my help to fight the remaining taint in the forest, to halt the struggle in the pass until it's completed. One determined night to purge chaos is not a wasted oppertunity. I only hope Jerrick can get word before we move.

    I fear they will not listen after that._



  • Wrath

    _Jerrick sought me out after the news of Ronan had spread….he sought me out to apologise and instead, we ended up in another bloody shouting match over recent events and the gods-forsaken legion. I know that I can't win him over from the lunacy they have ingrained into him, but I can at least try to avoid conflict with him...directly anyway.

    So, we spoke.

    Then we argued some more. finally, we came to the conclusion that we were both tired of the game and retired to a quiet glade for a while. He looked about ready to drop from lack of sleep, and his eye was all blackened from someone punching him.

    True enough, he passed out as soon as he sat down. It gave me time to strip out of armour and relax for a while, if only a short while with him. It may be a simple pleasure, but oh how I have missed just running my fingers gently through his hair.

    As well as treating that eye of his.

    When I find out who hit him, they had best turn tail and run because when I catch up with them, they will wish they were dead._



  • Friends

    _If this war has seen any tragedies, it is the ones I called close friends.

    On our way back from the capital city and our meeting from Queen Brionne, Ronan stopped us and we talked for a while. He questioned me on why I was doing this and tried to turn me away from this road : To avoid their bloodshed and my own death.

    I knew it was coming by the way he put distance between us while we talked ; That he'd act and try to save me from my fate. It is too late in the day for heroes in shining armour, riding in on a horse of unblemished white.

    He knew the truth, so I can only assume that Jerrick betrayed my confidence, broke our trust when I confided in him ; told him the truth. I acted on instinct and reacted before he did.

    We fought, if you could call it a battle.

    I favoured a whip this time because I did not wish him dead. In a way, I desperately needed someone to care enough that they would try and 'save' me.

    He did.

    Like so few others now, he was honest. He didn't try to hide behind the lies that they have all been fed by the city…he simply didn't want me to come to the point where I would be butchered by them.

    I'm not looking forward to it, but I know now that I need to face Jerrick again. He lied. To me and to what we had. He swore not to share what I would tell him, because it was for his ears only.

    It is perhaps the greatest wound anyone could have ever given me, and it came from a loved one.

    I couldn't kill him though....he was the only one to have tried. So many are quick to have damned me as some monster, but he never gave up. For that, I carried him back to the shrine and left him outside, after tending to his wounds with what I had on hand.

    When he regains consiousness, I hope he understands why I had to resist.

    As an aside, Norwick got their food. I'm arranging it now.

    At least something productive came from today._



  • Conflict

    _Alot has happened since my last entry.

    Jerrick finally returned and to date, we have had at least two shouting matches that, blessedly, died down and gave way to emotion that we thought we had both buried. Out of everyone who has decried me as some kind of liar for not sharing secrets, Jerrick's accusations cut the deepest.

    I never lied to him, or I never wanted to. From my point of view, I told enough of my past that was true enough. I told him what mattered and that my heart was true ; that I loved him as deeply as I could. Suggesting that had been a lie cut deeper than any Peltarch blade will.

    Still, we spoke.

    He tried to hide his feelings, just as I do and we got into an argument about what had happened and why. Our anger gave way to regrets and then he kissed me, right before he left. He wasn't going to give up…I want so hard to believe that he won't, but I just don't know if he will or not.

    It was a few days before he sought me out again, though he was undeniably angry this time. We fought again..bickered like man and wife. We were both frustrated really, it was only Ronan requesting to speak with us together that calmed this one down I think.

    Ronan said his piece and then we chased him out.

    Silly as it sounds, I don't want to lose him. I told him as much and he didn't want to give up either..I think we both agreed that we would try and save 'Us' though with everything going on...

    I just want to try, it's tearing me up inside.

    Before I break down...different topic.

    The war is progressing fairly well, if slow at the moment...my troops required rest and I agreed to that. The walls when we reach the city will be difficult enough to fell, if it comes to siege.

    The legion are still being a proverbial thorn in my boot, though we have since routed them from Sam's hill without need of death.

    We will see if that lasts._



  • War

    _The truth,

    After so long that it remained hidden, the truth has finally revealed itself. Though not the entirity of it.

    Once again, I am now at war for a monarch, who's cause rings loudly within my own breast, akin to the beating of my heart.

    I'm not sure who will ever read this journal now, but know that I had intended things to go differently. Queen Brionne is a wise woman and when I took the mantle of Grand Marshall of her armies, I knew this clearly. When I did so, I also knew I would have to war against those I may call friend or love, in the name of Duty. This, I accepted and quietly put whatever emotion and conflict on the matter to one side.

    One thing is for sure if nothing else. I have no recourse now. No bridges left behind me. I am locked into this path I am on now, for better or worse.

    Somewhere along the lines, Kara died and she never came back.

    Now it is just me, Nevae'Ama, the Grand Marshall.

    It is sad really that my career as a defender sergeant will end so abruptly because what I saw of the defenders, I did like. They are honourable enough and disciplined. It is just a shame that Peltarch and it's senate decided to rise up and anger N'jast. Peltarch has not changed in so long that, the tip of a sword will get more done than a quill ever could. The city is mired in corruption to such a degree that only force can hope to repair that damage that has been done at this point.

    As for Jerrick,

    I severely hope he finds that letter I buried and understands. I really do. The entire land is likely to levvy their condemnation at my name. I hope he is not amongst them.

    Truely, I do._



  • Defender of the Jewel

    _Quite a fair bit of time has passed since my last entry and well, I've been fairly busy.

    I'm now a Defender Sergeant in Peltarch's Armed forces. Captain Varid was able to get me a field commission as a junior officer and basically keep me from having to go through the tiring repeat of basic training, a fact that I am all too grateful for. While Sergeant is technically the lowest officer rank that the defenders employ, I'm quite content here…I have no problems dealing with larger numbers, however I do prefer the smaller groups for that simple personal touch.

    In a group this size, we all know each other, we know the others capabilities and how to augment each other with our own abilities.

    One thing that did amuse me was listening to the gossip of the next company over, as we share the same barracks from time to time. 'Last chancers' indeed...cheeky gits. Levity aside, the south appears to be mired in problems, ranging from the tainted spiders and remains of the Orcus legion, along with the new bugbear king, Ostromog making things difficult. So far in every engagement that I've fought, he's outwitted the defenders and minimized bugbear losses repeatedly....he's proven time and time again that he can pull off a win against Norwick and that it's only a matter of time before they are overwhelmed by his growing army.

    Pretty soon, the guard looks like it might buckle if Norwick doesn't get it's collective finger out of it's ears (and other orifices) and seek some help from the North. It doesn't make sense that they'd try and stick this out alone when the defenders here are trained warriors and quite ready to march towards the forest...at least to help with defence.

    Sigh.

    That can wait for now though.

    I'm really starting to miss Jerrick. It seems lately that whenever I've gotten to even lay eyes on him, he's been close to collapsing from exhaustion. It's to be expected with how much work we both do to keep the region from destroying itself..but still..

    Godsdamnit, I want to see my intended._



  • Songbirds

    _It has been a while since I've lasted updated you, my faithful old journal.

    It seems today though, I have a treat to write about…

    I finally saw Sierra again, after all this time. She had sent a letter explaining that she had been staying at the Grapevine for the time being. What did I do? The only thing I could. I ran all the way to Norwick as quickly as my legs could speed me there.

    What else was there to do? She's near enough my closest friend and had fate turned out slightly different.._ ~ This line appears to have been scored out with ink. _for now, she is home and I cannot be more overjoyed.

    I need to avoid speaking of doom and gloom though. I fear I rabbited on a bit and came off as a mite depressing sounding. I'm unsure how long she will be staying for, though hopefully it will be for a little while yet.

    I truely have missed her.

    On a completely separate note, I've decided to submit an application to join the defenders of Peltarch. Some I have spoken with think me mad for attempting to. I think though, that my skills could be put to a better use helping to protect the city and help train future recruits into hardened warriors.

    Wonder how I'll look in green.

    For now, off to find Sierra again. We have so much to catch up on._



  • Indecision

    _And so I am now faced with a quandry.

    Elements of the defenders have shown interest in myself and I've been entertaining the idea of enlisting up with them, as Talgrath had suggested oh so long ago. I left the life of a soldier once, however, this is different. I think I could make a difference.

    I spoke with one of the Island guards who recommended that I contact one of the Captains…I'm already an accomplished soldier and warrior, so there is little need to go through basic yet again. I have no problems with doing that, if I decide to though.

    The problem comes from my current oath to Oscura. I would have to break it in order to join up with the Defenders. I am not sure that I want to do this, especially as it is my word and it has been given.

    What to do? I don't know to be honest..

    It's not a decision I can find help on either..I'm not sure many would understand how difficult it was to become blooded in the first damn place. So what do I do?

    What do I do?

    I'll see about speaking with Shannon...he was in the same position once, perhaps he will be able to shed a little wisdom on the matter.

    At least, I hope so._



  • Remeniscing

    _It seems strange…

    So much has happened since I returned from Yalaira that if I tried to write up what I have seen, it would take me at least a year to properly write it all out. The Warrens was once again stormed, albeit with a larger host of adventurers this time. We fought through all the death and chaos of that place and eventually struck down the one responsible for trying to marshal the demonic forces in the Rawlins ; Thoon, son of a balor people had called him.

    Several people lost their lives trying to force through, however, we managed to breach and end Thoon;s life. Shortly after that, we secured the chamber where the ancient is caged and much to the surprise of the group, we encountered an avatar of Mystra. She came to thank us for the deeds we had done this day, as it seemed that Thoon was attempting to wake the ancient stored within the Warrens. Magical analysis of the crystal prison seemed to suggest that it had been tampered with, or an attempt had been made anyway. Mystra stayed for no more than a few moments as even she is not above the laws that govern the planes and the gods.

    One that acts on the prime gives leave for others to do the same. I cannot help but wonder what counter-action her appearance will provoke. Before she left, she offered the group a gift of her own making ; A gift that we would later learn was a mages dream.

    As it turned out, the staff was later given out to Lyte, who ritually offered it back to Mystra in order to restore what she had lost when she had fallen. A choice I agreed with at the time. Items may be useful, but without the will and the strength in one's hand to wield them. With that, the day had ended on a high note, with everyone returning to their homes to enjoy some much earned relaxation.

    I hate warmachines.

    The following tenday was relatively peaceful while we prepared to head for the Moonshae isles to reforge the Heart of Winter and finally end Arvangel's life. We took Beeter's airship there and frankly, I love journeying upon that ship. It has an other-worldly feel to it, able to cross the void with a graceful ease that puts lan-locked ships to shame.

    It took only a candlemark to reach the Moonshae isles and our intended destination ; the forge. Alfgeir set to work almost immediately after we had cleared the cave of the draugr, a corrupted giant, along with quite a few of Arvangel's minions. They all had gods-be-damned war scythes. WHY SCYTHES?

    Regardless of what they were carrying, we saw them all slain and carried on to finally slay Arvangel and set Karlsefni free. His ghost decided to grant us Wartooth instead of having it remain with us and I think we had silently decided that it was Aelthas that would carry the blade…as it should be. Shortly after that, we all returned home along with Alfgeir. I'll have to remember that mead hall of his when it is finally built, the mead he had brewed was extremely potent and quite tasty.

    I'll write some more later after I've had some rest from the trip to the Moonshae...rest is a luxury I've been unable to have lately.

    It's time to fix that._



  • The Ambassador

    _So far, I have spent the last while here in Yalaira and true to his word, Teran has treated me like a 'queen' or at the very least, a welcomed ambassador.

    I have to say that so far, I am loving my impromtu vacation from Faerun. We have been kept busy with rebuilding the villiage homes one by one, along with helping to train their knights. Along with the chance to help this troubled kingdom reforge itself, I've also been given the oppertunity to study the different aspects of their culture and the land itself. Everything is so alien here ; So different and yet it is as if that it is a mirror for Faerun.

    An example.

    They appear to have no gods in this land, nor do people return from death once they fall. The gifts of healing that I witnessed from Lefan was said to have 'come from the land' as if they were some kind of druid that could harness the magic of their land. I'm not entirely sure how it works, or if they truely believe the stories that I have told them of the gods from my land. We are two very alien cultures clashing peacefully. IT is also interesting to note that there is no such thing as the walking dead here.

    They just…do not exist.

    Whether that is because noone knows how to harness negative energy properly, or there is no such thing here, I am not sure. Regardless though, it is an interesting sensation to realise that death here is permenant. There is no raising the dead, no returning..

    While the idea of it does sound somewhat fatalistic, there is a certain appeal to only having one life, One chance. These people know this and they appreciate the lives they have all the more for it.

    Lycka and Elena would both love it here. There is so much history, so much lore and so many different forms of life here, both flora and fauna. It is a scholar's dream to be stuck in such a place, one I am fully enjoying. When the time comes to leave, I will have collected so much information and lore to bring back, it will have Lycka in a twist for a very long time.

    I was even given a mount! Though I will admit that I almost toppled from the saddle. Ahem. Getting used to a new saddle and mount can take time, especially as she seems to be quite tempremental.

    Fiery is apt, we are a good match. She isn't fit for jousting or mounted combat really, as she isn't a warhorse. However, she is a damn good riding horse. It'll feel delightful to get back in the saddle and ride through open fields again.

    So I settled on Flame for a name...she seems to approve of the name.

    I'm glad I brought a dress though, there is a festival tonight in the village to celebrate the victory over the mephits. Dancing, drinking and good company in equal measures.

    Just as well I can dance.

    In the morning, Teran has mentioned he'll be taking his knights into the hills to drive off what remains of the mephits...it will be a good oppertunity to put Flame through her first trial

    For now though, Revelry!_



  • Yalaira

    _Ever since the demon fortress was destroyed, I had found myself ending up increasingly aimless and without a purpose for myself. With duty done and the enemies of Narfell vanquished for a time, it seemed like I was not needed….that I was a weapon to be drawn and sheathed when people had someone they needed dead. I was growing tired and incredibly lonely with Jerrick so occupied with issues around the circle.

    I can't blame him for that, I just miss when times were easier and we weren't so rushed off our feet.

    At times, it feels like people keep me around and use me because I can fight. Not because they happen to actually want to know me. Just once, I would like someone to not mention doom and gloom. Instead, they come to me because they enjoy my company. Not for anything else...just good company.

    Morose thoughts aside, the last few days have been interesting, to say the least.

    The day before last, Jerrick and I ended up running into Taria and just ended up speaking with her. I learned something interesting ; she has abandoned her faith in Umberlee for whatever reason and saught to learn of a more benevolant goddess, Isis. An interesting choice for one who used to follow the bitch-queen...but it is one I am glad to see. Further to this, we sat and shared stories about how we came into our faith and what it meant to be faithful. We were not so different...three orphans sitting around and musing over the paths that their lives had taken.

    I've never had anything against her personally and I told her that much...her faith had always been the deciding point in whether to avoid her or not.

    She seems to be genuinely wanting to convert to something better than she had previously had. Given everything that we've seen, she deserves that chance. A chance that I am intending to give her if she'll take the help.

    That was a fairly normal tenday.

    This one has been anything except that..

    To set the scene ; I had been travelling to the Guardians compound to speak with the air ship crew that had been stranded here somewhat recently. Being able to use their craft for transportation to the Moonshae isles would be a great boon, especially if it was fixed. Somehow we would have to find room for Alfgeir, but I think we could manage. By the time I got there, the crew and the ship was preparing to leave for wherever it was headed for, so I took the offer to join the crew for a time and speak with the captain enroute.

    I thought they were going to float around Faerun with their ship..

    How wrong I was..

    I saw it. I saw Aber-Toril ; Blue crystaline like oceans surrounding the most pertinent land masses that make up our home, and then finally the globe itself.

    I can't give proper words to how beautiful it was...simply that noone will ever believe those of us who saw it all. That ship of theirs took us so far into the void that I had no idea where we were anymore...only that we had landed upon a kingdom known as Yalaira. The flora and Fauna here is not so different from Toril, though there are some minute differences.

    When we first arrived, we had run into an ore mine of sorts, where people were being worked to death by some mephits. We intervened, but could not stop the mephits from killing most of the slaves..the ones we could not save, we later buried and offered prayers for. It should be noted for posterity that it was Taria I asked to offer last rites...she was given the option and she chose to send off those poor souls with Isis's blessing invoked. When all the bodies were buried, we set the slaves free and continued on our way to the town mentioned to be south.

    It would later come to our attention that mephits had infested the entire kingdom, right to the point where one of them had assumed the mantle of 'king' over the entire realm. It was decided fairly early that we would not stand for this and so we went to the aid of the beleagured knights that had remained loyal to the displaced prince ; the Heir to the realm. Before we knew it, our help was accepted and we had been given the task of slaying the Mephit king.

    The trek itself wasn't so long....they had set up a portal in the inn that led back to their castle...the battle against the Mephit king and his minions turned out to be a nasty one though, as two of our group died to their onslaught. We did what we were asked though, we slew the mephit king, the one holding the portal open and scattered the remaining mephit forces into the hills and forests.

    For our assistance and herosim, we were made honourary members and knights of the Knightly Order that had survived in Yalaira, the Order of Radiance. While people were content to leave after that...I simply could not. The wealth of information contained in this strange culture was just too much for me to pass over on. In light of that, I decided to stay and help Prince Teran rebuild his kingdom.

    It will not be indefinately, but it will give me a chance to study this unusual place and give me a purpose for the time being past all the killing that has taken place in Narfell recently. Being free of any kind of demonic taint for a while is most welcome, along with all the history of this kingdom.

    I just hope Jerrick stays safe...I am really going to miss him.

    Part of me is still having trouble comprehending the fact that I am no longer on Toril. This should be interesting none the less._



  • The Eye of the Storm

    _We did it.

    We took the battle to the enemy and struck them down in their holes. The battle was fought with such ferocity that over half of our group that set out with us were either slain outright or had to cover our flanks as we advanced…Less than a dozen of us survived to walk away from the battle...

    We left with about roughly two dozen.

    We knew it would be tough before we left. That there would be fallen we would have to leave behind while we continued to fight on..

    So many dead though. Eleven bodies were carried out in total when the last demon had fallen and the plane tore itself apart, taking the fortress, the demons and quite possibly Silus with it. When I consider all the death, all that we had to give in order to see them destroyed. Was it worth it?

    The only answer I can give is a simple one.

    Yes.

    I wentb ack out there when I could finally muster the energy to walk again and the forest now seems so quiet, so peaceful....not a corrupted goblin, Minotaur or demon to be seen anywhere in the east. I didn't head further in though so it's unknown if there are still forces of the demon prince out there. I have no doubt there will still be stragglers, but I also have no doubt that we shall hunt them all down and destroy them forever.

    Whatever Demons still remain on this plane are now trapped here and that is something I relish, that they will have to know the fear and pain of being endlessly hunted. That they will actually die when they are slain.

    This day and the next belong to everyone who stood with us. Everyone that we stood for, Everyone that could not join us. Everyone that wanted the demons purged.

    Quite simply, this day is one I think we shall all remember as the day that the Nars stood together against forces beyond it's ken and won one of the coming battles. There will be more, of that I have no doubt.

    For just this day though, the sun is shining._



  • The Coming Storm

    "Echoes of tragedy carved on my steel
    in this neverending fight against the beast
    soldiers of twilight turn back to the Abyss
    burn in your fire or glory for me will be your end"

    _The time is drawing near when we will be standing up and marching out to meet the Enemy in their holes and I am starting to grow restless. I am not sure whether it is the feeling of uncertainty regarding the outcome or whether I'll be alive at the end to see what happens. The threat posed by these demons is after all, very very real.

    All I know is that we have to succeed if we ever want to reclaim the forest before they get anymore of an iron grip. Everyone knows that it needs to be done…they know there is a battle that we may all not survive coming.

    Right now, only routine and discipline are keeping me together. Routine for distracting me and discipline that's keeping me from fleeing as fast and as hard as I can. The consequences for failure here are ones that terrify me.

    Yet, despite all this possible doom and gloom, we have a chance and a real possibility that we might succeed. The yuan'ti said they would be there when the time came...We weren't given much of a choice in the matter. It was a statement of fact from that woman. I was surprised to see even one of their kind still about in this land so openly.

    So here we'll stand.

    Right at the epicenter, reaching into the storm.

    And we will see what shall be._



  • Pandemonium

    Pandemonium, such an apt name for the last few days.

    The next adventure regarding Hedia's artifact took place the other day there, one that led us deep into the lost city, to be surrounded by fiendish undead, demons and drow. I lost count of how many drow we had to face before we finally figured out that going through the caves was generally a bad idea.

    At one point, we had been trapped by some drow handmaiden and her entourage. We cut our way through the drow but there was no sign of that handmaiden….I'll find her and take her head. This I swear.

    On the way back, we were approached by a talking lion after we had been trapped by a seer. It asked that in exchange for being set free, one of us had to promise to journey to Pandemonium and free an innocent about to be sacrificed.

    I swore to go and help...noone should be trapped in that pit.

    I just don't know if others will be permitted along...hopefully they will.

    We'll see when the time comes.



  • Returning

    _It is always a long and trying journey to return from the heartlands, if only for the fact that it is so much warmer there than it is here. It is rarely covered in snow, or so bitterly wind-swept as Narfell is. Frankly, the reasons for returning grow shorter every time

    I was hoping that when I returned, there would have been at least a little progess in trying to rid the demons from the forest. Something…Anything.

    Instead, I returned to find that nothing had been done so far...not a thing. Are people that afraid that they won't act when they know they should? Are they waiting for someone to open the door before they step through? I honestly don't know anymore.

    So few people are left that can be relied on when push comes to shove and we do attempt to storm that fortress that the enemy has established. So few people left that are willing to stand up at the front and lead everyone into fire and darkness. I'm trying but I'm frankly not having much success in bringing everyone together.

    Ael's idea to just get a capable group together and go is a good one. Blunt and to the point, rather than letting people deliberate over what needs to be done, it is just done.

    I just don't know if anyone will survive it.

    Despite that, I'm glad to finally be back in his warm embrace...it certainly beats sleeping rough on the stoney ground. When I think of him, my thoughts are always lighter and for just a moment, I'm without worry, or care. I shudder to think of the day when he's not there.

    My concerns can wait for a little while, for now, I just want to relax._



  • Duty

    _That burning sensation in my arms..

    This is the first lull in fighting that we've gotten in the last day and a half and I'm ready to just collapse…I'm still not sure what's keeping us all going besides an obscene belief in the duty we are doing.

    Vampire scum everywhere in this accursed forest.

    We'll be moving again shortly, this place isn't a safe camp spot.

    Gods, I miss him...and a warm bed that isn't the stony ground._



  • The Enemy

    _Their infestation has spread beyond the Rawlins and into the Pass now. I don't remember the details terribly clearly, one moment we were trudging through the pass and came across a corrupted hobgoblin or two. Puzzled, we continued into their cave where we were ambushed by elements of the three hundreth and sixty-eighth abyssal legion under the prince of undeath.

    What I do remember is almost cutting Ronan down as magic flew. He looked like an incubus at the time…what was I supposed to do? I've suffered their presence in my dreams before, I was not going to allow it again..

    I think we made our way out at that point, having finally taken the head of a larger vrock. It is amazing how cowardly they are when they are affected by mortality.

    We were ambushed twice on the way, which I only remember in a daze. My vision was far too busy spinning to be able to focus on anything except getting away to recover.

    What does trouble me is the expanding influence they have. They've spread from the Rawlins and presumably taken over the lower bowels of the hobgoblin cave. That they did this is not surprising...that they were able to claim the cave without anyone noticing is. It led us to suspect that they may have created a magical link back to their fortress from within the hobgoblin caves.

    It also removes any doubt that we have to exterminate this new threat as soon as possible, and take the head of 'Haxan' , the name that Zyph murmured about before we commited to a running battle outside of the hobgoblin caves.

    We're so outnumbered, it is unbelievable._



  • Thoughts

    _I haven't much to add this day, unfortunatly. Life has been rather quiet after the trip with the five into the Cold caves.

    It's funny, I never thought we'd see such quiet times, but it does seem that the land had other ideas. With the little lady's minions only encroaching some nights, it seems like that is the onl thing happening any more. I haven't seen a major issue that isn't being dealt with in some time.

    I'm almost finding myself at a loss for things to do when there is noone else around.

    There is one constant in my life right now and that is Jerrick. I'm not sure how it originally happened, but I am eternally grateful to Tymora for bringing me the luck to meet such a wonderful man. Let us just hope that luck extends to him staying around this time…I'm growing incredibly tired with those dear to me disappearing.

    That reminds me though, I think I may go and visit the city library. Time to catch up on some reading._



  • The Suicidal Five.

    _So a Dinosaur, a Druid, a Paladin, a Pretty boy and something pink walk into a cave…

    Innocent beginning you would think, no?

    'The suicidal five'

    That is what we called the group of five companions that went down into the cold caves for a simple wander. Before we had even gotten into the caverns, we were facing heavy resistance with one of the most rag-tag groups I have ever seen.

    We made it though. We fought our way through Ogre. Gnoll headhunters, pools of Ooze that tried to eat Ael, culminating in one large final battle between nearly fifty ogres and our little group of five.

    Most worrying was the ooze that we found. It wa surmised to be the same ooze that had been an experiment with the old nars that had been stored away in various lost labs throughout Narfell. It appears quite viscous and aggressive, having reached out to try and envelop Ael and Jerrick on at least two separate occasions.

    It is interesting to note that water appears to have a diluting effect on the slimes themselves, and that live material, such as flesh appears to dissolve on contact with the undiluted liquid. Most concerning is that it expands as it envelops and melts material.

    Jerrick knows what he's doing regarding the ooze though, so I'll leave it to him, though I plan to offer him as much support as I can manage.

    Still. What a day._



  • Burdens

    _As I flick back through this journal and read through the various pages that I've written in the past, I realise just how much has been left unsaid, unrecorded. It would be a full time vocation to record every individual piece of trouble that happens in Narfell. It is a full time vocation to care about what happens to the people of this land as well, one that I do not think I will ever be free of. For people such as the Order, the only release from duty is that of the final death.

    I see it in their eyes sometimes, Hear it in their voices. Growing tired of helping others when all people do in return is insult and berate you.

    So am I. Oh so tired.

    In other news, so much has happened since my last journal entry, both wonderful and heinous. I'll start with the heinous, as it's always better to get the bad news out the way first, rather than let someone worry and linger on what 'could' be the bad news.

    Anyway, the demon threat in the Rawlins is getting worse and we are not really that much closer to a solution than we were some tendays ago. I did send word to Grag though and asked that he take over with the leading of the group that is to be assembled. People follow him without question and actually listen to what he has to say, which makes him the best choice for a leader in this case.

    The shield will still be helping. We have information to share with everyone on a whole and a large group to assemble in the mean time. When the time comes, I will still be on the front, protecting others. I just don't want the burden of keeping so many people safe. Not again.

    The past should remain that way.

    Working it this way also frees us up to work on group tactics, and just how we are going to siege this fortress that the demons have erected.

    To make matters worse, a knight in red and black armour has begun harrasing Norwick and it's people, as well as having slaughtered an entire inn and got Elyl (somehow) into an agreement where he tainted his own honour. He is now branded as a result, one that will not be removed easily, or I suspect, without bloodshed.

    For the last two days, I have been holding vigil by his side, here in Oscura. He was brought down here because Dagon is probably the most knowledgeable on brands, possesions and exorcisms in Narfell at the moment.

    At the moment, any kind of healing magic causes him excruciating pain, so all we can do is treat with bandages and hope that his wounds do not grow infected. That demon is going to pay in pools of it's own blood for lashing out at one of ours.

    I'll add some more when I'm not exhausted._