Tray's journal
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Tray has an old journal hiding under in his clothes. Surprisingly for a nature's blessed, he has a fine writing and is well versed in writing. He will write anything related with his goal here. The journal will not speak about anything else.
It made me feel wrong. I was there, in the big city, and I could hardly sense nature's harmony in the few animals and tree's around the place. Despite it, I tried to focus I must manage to do it. However, not being able to feel comfortable in the city, disturbs me and negates my ability to communicate with nature. Someone told me there's a town with large forests south of here. So I'm moving inmediatly, I'm sure there I'll have more chances of succed.
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Today I've decided to give up. There's no sense in keep looking for something, wasting my time, when there's so many other important things to do in the forest. If this decieves my grandparent…I'm sorry, but a man has to set his priorities, and the woods is the first one of this man.
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I've heard from other people that there was indeed at some point a shifter in these lands. Admiting it's rare, but not impossible, I can't but keep looking while I spend some daily hours to train on my own, but I think at this point it's not helping much…
Still, hope is the last thing you must lose
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Today I've talked with an elf woman, who says that she's seen a shifter in this lands before. An elven woman she says, but seems to be long gone. Maybe someone knows more about this, I shall keep investigating
added to the just written:
he same elf lady suggested me to ask the people of the circle, and mayhaps find a nymph which would know about the forest more than anyone.
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all this seems harder than I thought at first. After long time in the woods meditating I've now started again to practicing my shifting abilities. So far I can only dominate the animal shifting, and I've been not having more dreams anymore, probably because I already know what my grandpa tried to tell me. Probably I should find someone with the ability, and tried to learn from him…but..will out there be anyone like this?
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I have an idea of what could be happening now. I was recomended to visit the library of the spellweaver, and So I did..there's lot of information, but a nice man helped me finding out what I was looking for..
I think I know what my gradpa was trying to tell me in dreams… he was a shifter, and he believes I might have adquired his ability as well. I've read a couple books regarding this, and it just makes it look clearer.
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I keep feeling those temperature changes. Tonight I had another dream. I was again flying. Scaled skin…but this time I was not in cold mountains. I was flying in a storm. I could feel the raindrops falling on me, and I was worried to evade the lightings. As I take a look at my body, I see the same as the previous time, yet this time my scaled skin is not white, but blue. I remember I spend quite some time examining myself. And by the time I look again to the sky...is too late. A lighting is comming to me, and I have no time to evade it. It's the end...
Instead of burning me, the lighting seems to have no bad effect on me. Moreover, seems to give me some vitality, and I feel better. I fly down towards the ground. I want to look myself in a lake. As I'm getting close to a tree, an arrow flyes past me, and at the moment I avoid it, I bump into a branch of the tree.
When I wake up...Im lying on the ground, and I notice...that on the ground there's some blue scales...
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I was out in the Gnoll woods with a group of people I just met. And on the way back I started to feel..odd. I was feeling warmer than usual despite the rain. I had the priest of the group look me over, but he couldn't find anything unusuall. As hypotesis, I think it might be the ability to shapeshift is causing this, since different animals have different corporal temperatures…
But something inside me, tells me that's not the answer...
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it was a new dream, but an odd one still. I was flying…yes, flying, and it was snowing, but I would not feel the cold. There were big mountains, all full and covered of snow, and the sky was totally impossible to see from the clouds. I'm sure it should've been really cold, but I could not feel it. I was feeling nice. I was flying and the snow drops were as cold as I was, so I did notice no difference.
Suddenly I realize I could look at my wings. And I do so...and to my surprise I see some small wings, scaled skin and a couple sharp claws at the ends...I'm confused, and I start falling down from the sky, I try to keep flying, but I cant....I unshift into a human again...and I keep falling..I'm really close to the ground now...this is the end...
When I woke up, I couldn't see anything different in me, but I as I breath, I notice my breathing colder than usuall...
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I can't really express with words this feeling. Something telling me this is not over, and for the last two nights I'm having the same dream, where I get remembered what the day after my leave was showed to me. im sufering also some temperature changes. Some times I feel cold, others too warm. This is strange, but I'm certain sooner or later I'll find out why is all this happening
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Today, it was the day. I shifted into Zhiba, I was able to see my claws again, and the night wasn't so dark anymore. This time there was no lake. I was just there, in the middle of the forest…and Hungry, hungry as I never was before. On a first look, there's nothing to hunt around. I sniff the air and sense a smell coming from the south. I start running south, I feel hungry, i want to reach the spot...see my prey, hunt it down.
As I get closer to the spot, I feel I recognize the smell...
When I reach the spot, I can't believe what my eyes see. A wounded human is on the ground, bleeding leg. It surprises myself to feel how I lick my lips once more. Im hungry, there's an easy prey... I move stealthy to take a good position, lick my lips once more. As Im about to jump on my victim, something inside me hits me, as if I was geting my brain pierced with a thin dagger. At that moment, I realize what Im about to do. I'm going to kill another human. My hunger is rising, but my will is strong, and I wilingly unshift to recover my human form. I can heal the wounded human. I can controll it, I can shift at will.
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Full moon. Good Sign. I went to a lonely place with Zhiba. It was all quiet and calm. She looked interested as well in the training, and that really helped a lot. I knee in front of her. She stares at me. I concentrate on her gaze, holding her head-sides with my hands softly. Suddenly, the darkness of the night isn't that dark. I look down, and what I see? There's a lake right under me. I can only see a dark image in the water…and light green eyes. Is it me? Suddenly I catch a smell, I sniff...but before I can move, an arrow flyes right past me. Hunters.
I run of, climbing to trees and moving with agilility and grace. I've never moved so fast. I quicly was out of range from the hunters. It's dark, so they will have hard time chasing me. It's amazing how good panthers can see in the dark, and how swift they can move. My claws are sharp, I could really pierce an animal in one blow.
I spot a deer, I'm hungry, I need to hunt...
I move stealthy on the tree's branch, I move closer to the deer. It has not noticed my presence. A precise jump, and It'll have no way out.
I notice how my tongue licks my own lips, I want and need to hunt it.
One jump, I'm right over it, and the deer turns it's head. Tries to run....but it's too late.
When I woke up, I was actually carving with my fingers on a deers corpse. Probably I'm already able to shift...but now I need to be able to control myself while I'm in that state.
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Zhiba saved my life today. I was siting by a tree outside in the Rawlins when suddenly a goblin swarm ambushed me. I had no time to react and they bashed me to the ground. Zhiba quickly reacted and scared most of them of with her growls and showing her teeths. She dealt with the few remaining that still wanted to get me totally dead. After that, I was barely able to move, and Zhiba dragged me by the clothes to a safe corner of the woods, where she proceeded to lick my wounds and bring me some fruits and raw meat that she would hunt. When I was finally able to move propertly, I prayed for healing and got them closed. Im alive thanks to Zhiba. She really wants me by her side…and this is an important step in our relationship. Late at night, i'll try -it- again with Zhiba.
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I've been spending time with Zhiba, we seem to work well together. I still don't have the same relationship as with Faur, but I have no doubts this will change with time. This night, I started some approach towards Zhiba's inside, but because of the lack of time spent together, it didn't go too well, and it lasted less than usuall. I'll give some time till I try again, wouldn't want to force it.
In any case, I'm happy that Zhiba is with me. She's really nice to me, and she makes me smile often.
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It's been a tough week. I've been missing the training, because I've been looking for another companion. Or rather, I've been letting it find me. I spent whole days in the forest, the one near Norwick. Sitting there, waiting for animals to come close to me. Several came to sniff around me, but all of them left. It was 3 moons till she finally found me. She approached to me carefully, stealthy…I didn't see her comming. Large, black and beatiful. She came close to me, I didn't move. She sniffed, just like any other had. She showed me her teeths, sharp and strong. Her claws were sharper and she put them really close to my face. Moving was not an option. Calmly she stood near me and sat down. By my side. I offered her food, she ate it silently. Next step was crucial. Looking directly into her eyes, I touched the panther. Low growl, showing teeths...then leaned towards me and licked my arm and lyed down on my lap. We stood so for a couple hours...but I knew..she was my new companion.
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Faur…has passed away. I could not help him...he got hit by a bolt in the head. I wasn't fast enough to close his wounds.. But he died fighting at my side...and I know he died happy. I gave him a proper funneral...Today I won't train.
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I finally considered that It'd be easier with Faur. We are companinons, friends, so there's already some kind of afinity. That should make things easier. It was mid night when we started the training. I'm not sure how many hours I was this time inmersed in it, but it was definetly more than the last time. I sense this means improvement. As the previous time, I concentrated on the animal, but this time it was faster and easier to feel inmersed in it.
I could see him, Faur, my friend wolf. Pointing me to something, we moved slowly, and soon I could discern a deer. Couple more steps towards it, and the deer noticed our presence, and started running. Automaticly, Faur started running after him…and so did I to my surprise. It was a long run, I can't tell exactly whym but I felt the urgency to catch up with that deer. Finally, we came up into a forest, and we lost sight of the deer. Then I begun to feel hungry. Have never done this before, but on my fours, I started to howl out loud while staring at the moon. It made me feel better, It made me feel...
The next thing I remember, was me lying on the ground.
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I found the town near the forest. The forest is filled with undeads, then with goblins. It's entirely unpleasant, but I feel at least more comfortable within the walls than I did in the town. There's also a few animals at save spots, so this is a perfect place to train and try to discover my hiden abilities.
I spoted a healthy looking deer and I tamed it esily. I lured it away to a calm spot and sit in front of it. Spent an hour staring at him, while he stared at me, I could feel him. It was calm and wiling to help me, and it stood quiet during my whole attempts to shift. I concentrated on it's eyes, trying to look inside him. It took me long time to finally concentrate enough so that the surroundings vanished. There was nothing else, just me and the deer. I closed my eyes while leaning a hand at the deers head. It didn't move, it was calm and wiling to help me. Soon I started to see images. I was runing in the forest, near the deer. We were happily avoiding trees and branches on the ground, and we reached a peacefull opening in the forest all covered with grass, and I could see how the deer was eating. Suddenly, I would optionless start eating grass as well. Surprisingly, I didn't mind it. Moreover, I was enjoying it.
Suddenly I started to cough, and everything started to look blurred…and I opened my eyes. To my surprise...I was actually eating grass from the ground, and the deer seemed long gone.