3. Diary of the Little One

Diary of the Little One


  • A folded piece of parchment sticks out on this page of the Diary, having its own writings on it, intended on being a part of but separate from the book.

    ~ Ends and Beginnings ~

    Atel’s eyes shot open, as if she had been jolted awake from a bad dream of some kind but instead of being greeted by the dreary brown ceiling that she had fallen asleep under, she instead found herself staring at a sea of stars against the night sky. Her blue eyes blinked a couple of times, just to make sure she wasn’t still asleep but the stars above her, tall grass around her, and the cool night breeze blowing over her. Sitting upright the little blackish green haired hin looked about, taking in all that surrounded her.

    The sky, while full of stars, looked unfamiliar and strange. None of the constellations she was used to seeing appeared in the night sky giving it an unforgiving and cold presence. Standing up she discovered the tall grass only came up to her knees, which allowed her to see the rolling hills in every direction, including a single large mountain that rose so high Atel was sure that she couldn’t see the top of it. It was also then that she discovered she was not dressed as she usually was. Her armor and trinkets had all been replaced with a modest, white robe whose only decoration was a beige rope around her waist, making the garment something of a dress.

    “Hello?” She called out into the night, but nothing answered. Still, she couldn’t help shake the urge to begin to walk. The direction did not matter, she simple felt as though she should be walking instead of just standing still, so that is exactly what she did. Taking an easterly course – assuming the mountain in the distance was north – Atel walked along leisurely down the hill until she came across a well worn dirt path. Again she felt an urge that she walk, though this time that she should walk along the path she had just come across and having nothing else to tell her otherwise, or no immediate threat of danger, she did just that. Though as she walked farther down the path she began to realize that the only thing she could seem to think about was everything that she had done wrong in her life thus far. The men she has fallen in love with and then betrayed, the decisions she had made that had ended up being bad ones, and the farther she walked the more she felt as though these feelings were going to overwhelm her. That is until she could take no more and stopped walking, the feelings and whispers of defeat in her head stopping as soon as she had stopped as well.

    She did not like this path and for a moment had the thought that maybe she could go back the way she had come, but on looking backwards Atel found that the path she had travelled on for what seemed like hours, was gone. Blinking then the little hin looked forwards again trying to decide what to do but knowing deep down that she was stuck. If she stayed where she was she wouldn’t have to deal with her own failures and insecurities but at the same time, she couldn’t progress either.

    “Hello there, little one.” A deep, resonating voice said to her left causing Atel to jump slightly.

    “H-Hello.” She said, taking in the man that was standing before her. He was a tall, aged human. Clad in full plate mail that could only be made of gold or something of the like. On his back was a claymore that was easily bigger than Atel stood tall, and his eyes twinkled with the wisdom of one who was much older than the man appeared to be.

    “Where are you headed?” He asked. His voice seemed to have a commanding presence to it but at the same time, was warm, inviting, even kind. Though the question he asked Atel did not have an answer to, which made the little hin woman feel quite silly.

    “I don’t know honestly.” She admitted, “I was walking down this path, thinking that t would take me somewhere but – the farther I travel down the road the harder it is getting to keep going. I don’t understand why that is happening and I can’t go back the way I had came, but I don’t want to go forward on this path anymore, I suppose I am stuck.”

    “Indeed.” The man observed, “Indeed you are. However, I believe I may be able to help you. Walk with me.”

    The brightly armored man then extended a hand to her, his face kind, his eyes beckoning her to come and it was also at that moment that Atel thought that any woman would not be able to resist him calling out to follow him, much less a humble hin.

    “So tell me, why does all that you have done in your life prevent you from going forward?” He asked as he pulled her from the path and back onto the long grass, walking slowly towards the mountain that lay in the distance.

    Atel had to think about that before she could answer, for there were many things in her life she had done wrong that had led to her current situation. But there was one feeling that was overriding all the others, driving all the others even.

    “Guilt I suppose, guilt over all the bad decisions I made, guilt over not being faithful to my husband when I thought him dead, guilt over not being able to find him and how that affected my own family, spreading us all over the lands.” She sighed, “It is so much sometimes that I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing in my life anymore.”

    “Well that is not so bad.” The man said with a hearty chuckle.

    “How so?” Atel asked, wondering what he must be thinking that would make him laugh at what she had just revealed.

    “Well it is not so bad because if guilt is the only thing keeping you from progressing down the path, then it seems to me that one needs to find themselves a new path.” He said with a little twinkle in his eyes, “I’ve seen many a person make bad decisions in their life, some recover from it, some don’t. But the one’s that are able to move on from the mistakes they made usually do it by finding a new direction in life. Or be devoting their life to something that will being about that change.”

    “You see, the big secret to life isn’t that you just live it out and do good in the world while you are there, the secret to life is that you not only learn from the mistakes that you make, but that you make yourself better because of them my dear.”

    He stopped then, Atel stopping with him. She had been looking up at him as he spoke, taking in everything that he said and marveling that a stranger could have such insight into her life. Although she sensed that there was something special about this man, like there was something more to him that she couldn’t quite place.

    “However, every day brings something new you know and change is not always wrought by passion and dedication alone. Sometimes it only takes the dawn of a new day, and your own choice to make the change.” He said while looking forward.

    Atel then directed her vision forward as well to see that they had crossed the hill entirely, and she was now standing on the grass, in front of a path that was different than the one she had been on before. She blinked a couple of times, wondering how they had traversed such a distance when it seemed like they had only been talking for a couple of minutes if not longer. Stepping hesitantly onto the path she immediately felt a different feeling here than she did on the last one. Here if she felt as though the whole world was open to her, as if all her mistakes didn’t matter anymore and she could begin anew. She was even a little excited.

    Then she looked forwards down the path to see the sun was coming up, so brightly it blinded her temporarily and when she opened her eyes again, she was greeted by the confines of her inn room, the sun shining down onto her pillow and head from the small window in the corner was what had woken her. But everything she had just dreamed about still seemed so real, so tangible. Quickly Atel jumped out of bed, and in her night gown jotted down the entirety of her dream, intent on finding a priest or priestess she could discuss this with so as to get some sort of meaning from it. For while she understood some things the true meaning and symbolism of her dream still escaped her like a ghost in the corner of ones eye, visibly there but impossible to see.

    What she didn’t know was that this dream would have an impact on her life that would alter her fate, and change her purpose for existing.


  • _Entry Thirteen:

    Lucky number thirteen…yay...

    It seems my own luck has been matching in this entry, as much has happened since I was last able to write. Perhaps I should start at the beginning, that always seems to be the best place to start things and i always was a better writer than anything else, not sure why.

    A few weeks ago I got a lead on finding my husband, and i followed it. The lead took me to Damara, the neighboring kingdom to Narfell. I traveled deep into its territories following a top that someone matching my husbands description from fliers I had distributed in that area years earlier. But as it turned out, all that I found was a pixie who from a distance, with his white hair and large dagger, could appear to be Zak.

    I killed the wrenched little creature for imitating my husbands likeness, and burned his ruin.

    Disheartened, I returned to Narfell, which took several weeks again on top of the time I had already spent wasted in searching for my lost husband. Once I returned to the room I had been leasing at the Grapevine Inn I cried, for the first time since Zak had disappeared i let myself believe that I would never see him again. I let my optimism fade and gave into the cruel emotions that even now still threaten to overwhelm me.

    I don't know that I will ever see him again...

    ...and putting that down on paper makes it seem like it has some essence of Finality to it. though I know in my heart he is not dead, not yet, I can feel it. I MUST keep searching.

    Other news that is going on since my short leave, my dear friend Talyna is finally engaged, To Benji even! The little gnome hin thing! He is a good man though and I know they will be very happy together. If nothing else they will make cute children I can fawn over.

    I also the other day, saw Mallis Twi. Yes, Mallis, The very same Hin who the day after I married Zak was hitting on me, in front of Zak. As you can imagine that didn't end well for him.

    Though I must say, Mallis under all of that arrogance and puke, is still a gentleman and a good man. even if he comes off as an arrogant puke.

    Finally, I had a most peculiar dream last night that even still, puzzles me as to its meaning. Normally I do not give dreams much credence in the direction of my life, however this one was so vivid that I swear it was real...that I was really there.

    I shall write down what I saw in that dream on parchment and copy it a few times so that I can get some help deciphering its meaning from local clerics. One copy I shall keep in my journal for records sake, that entry will follow this one.

    ~ Atel Vai'sini Spear_


  • _Entry Twelve:

    I actually attended fight night last night. Even competed in the boxing bit, I usually do not do that as I am not the strongest person in the world, so I do not know what possessed me to enter this time. Maybe it was spiting myself for missing the archery tournament.
    Either way I entered the boxing tournament and you will never believe whose name I drew first to box against…

    Maythor freekn Troff.

    Needless to say the Dwarf general did not go easy on me, and it ended pretty quickly, I DID however get a few good hits on him at least, take that!

    I also say someone last night I had not seen in quite some time, Talyna Felf! I absolutely adore her as much as I do Ginger, and consider her a very close friend. I believe she is doing okay but I am not sure of that because I did not have time to catch up before I had to return to the Valley on business. But I shall catch up with her later.

    Speaking of the Valley, last week I went to visit and found the entrance, as well as a few different paths in the forest completely barricaded off from everyone. The guards of Avoreen would not even talk to me, and I’m a former elder! It was quite scary and everyone was on edge for a few days until the barricades were taken down. There is still no explanation as to why they were up in the first place though, I must do some investigating to discover the why.

    On the Me-Becoming-A-Paladin front, I have discovered some things that are quite interesting. It seems that much of Tormish scripture as well as the Teachings of Yondalla line up on many fronts. I did not know this until I compared the two pieces of scripture side by side in the temple the other day. Now, though I have been taken on as an apprentice, I sit here confused again, not sure which of these two magnificent deities I should dedicate my time and energy to…I will have to think and pray more on this later I suppose.

    For now there is business I must take care of, it seems my theatre key to Peltarch no longer works, perhaps someone saw me coming and changed the locks. Hehe._


  • _Entry Eleven:

    I conversed with a priestess of Torm the other day, she was most helpful sharing her knowledge of all things related to Torm. It as a heart rending conversation to say the least…while I did not plan this I ended up pouring my heart out to this woman elf named Sy, who thankfully was not judgmental against my own sins, I think I may be harder on myself than any of the Deities to judge me. Perhaps this is a flaw I need to work on but I do not know for sure.

    Sy and myself spoke at length of the teachings of Torm, and I was able to express my desire to become one of his chosen. She was taken aback by that at first, I don’t blame her after all it does seem ludicrous that this little two foot ten inch tall thing would want to be a knight. But there we were.

    Then the most wonderful thing happened.

    Out of nowhere Sy agreed to – at least for now – take me on as her apprentice and teach me the ways of Torm. I cannot express in words how wonderful that made me feel, as if FINALLY my life could restart, I could start anew to undo the things that I had done wrong in the past. I don’t believe anything I can do can Express my gratitude for her and Torm right now and my heart bursts with thankfulness for this blessing.

    For now however, since I am not immune to it, I will go to sleep.

    After a quick prayer that is._


  • _Entry Ten:

    I have been thinking a lot of my life lately, of the things I have done and what I will leave behind when I eventually die. These things came to my mind twofold, when I was speaking with Benji last evening the subject of marriage came up, which made me think of Zak. Then, when speaking to an Ex termite paladin later that evening the subject of present and past mistakes was brought up, which again made me think of Zak.

    My heart aches every time I think of him, and of what I did to him. Perhaps the Gods have forgiven my own transgressions but I have yet to forgive myself, I do not know. I sincerely hope with every fiber of my being that I will be able to see him again someday and somehow make up for the pain that I caused him. For now that, that hope must remain alone.

    I realize now my zeal to become a knight stems mainly from my desire to once again be pure in my own eyes, if no one else’s. Perhaps If I can commit myself to something for once in my life I will be able to be a person who can keep their word, and promises. I think if I can commit myself to something like that, I can honestly become a better person.

    I want to become more than I am now, and I shall accomplish this task._


  • _Entry Nine:

    In searching for a priest or High priest of Torm I ended up at the Norwick south gate yester night, which was broken, and swarming with goblins shortly thereafter. I swear, trouble follows me around, perhaps I should just find a hole somewhere to crawl into and hide for everyone else’s safety. The fight was long enough that I easily exhausted myself and my own arcane abilities, which were not at full strength when the attack started anyways.

    I also, because of my lack of spells and exhaustion, took some hits I normally don’t take, I woke this morning sore and drained still from the previous nights activities (and no I do not mean anything dirty by that), Perhaps I need to practice my swordsmanship again to bring those skills on par with my archery, which by the way, I didn’t miss once last night with my bow and that would make any Elf or Ranger proud, though I did run out of arrows.

    Note to file, Buy arrows.

    Addendum to the Note to file: Earn some gold to buy arrows.

    I also noticed last night my leather cat suite armor is looking a little worse for wear, perhaps I should invest some money in saving the armor I’ve had so long as well to make it last.

    I still have not found a priest of Torm, you would think they would be more common but so far I have had no luck. Perhaps this is a test from the aforementioned deity to test my resolve to change and if this does be a test, it is one I intend to pass. I want to change, and I still have lost none of the fervor I had the previous day to become a Paladin in his service. For now, I will tend to my wounds, and continue my search._


  • _Entry Eight:

    I have discovered something about myself in the last few weeks – it is something that I always knew I had but I never knew I had in such great quantity. I’ve discovered I enjoy helping protect people, a lot. I cannot seem to get enough of service to my fellow woman or man, when I am helping someone in whatever capacity I feel as though I am serving a higher calling, and becoming something more than what I normally would be. I want to do this, I want to devote my life to this.

    I’ve found a quote in Tormish scripture that hit home to me:

    “Salvation may be found through service.”

    I don’t believe that any other sentence I have read has had such an impact on my soul as what I read there while visiting Torm’s portion of the temple, and I have decided on something that is going to altar the direction of my life forever. For I have decided I want to be a part of that. I want to make a real difference in the world, not just leave behind song, stories, and dance. I want to be a better person than I have been in the past, and I want to not just say that but commit to it in a way that cannot be ignored. To show those who doubt me that I am not the person who I was in the past, but someone better!

    I want to become a Paladin in the service of Torm!

    I am not sure how one goes about this though. I do know that I wish to speak with a cleric in Torm’s priesthood as soon as I possibly can though._
    (edited for lack on entry number)


  • _Entry Seven:

    There is nothing left.

    I searched and searched, risked my life and others on occasion, all for nothing. There is nothing at all left of the home called Jiyyd. It is as if something reached out and scooped the land up leaving a crater behind in its wake. I have nothing left in my life now to work towards, no goals, nothing. It is quite sad really, that I would end up here, outliving most my friends but not happily. Because of my elvish blood I always knew I would one day end up somewhat alone but I did not think that day would come as soon as it did. I don’t even have grey hair yet!

    So now I am left to wander the streets of Peltarch, in a similar fashion to when I wandered the streets of Cormyr…though now it is easier to make money is the only difference. Perhaps I have overstayed my welcome in this realm, I do not know. For now I have a lot to think about. But I shall at least write down what I am concidering.

    Plan A is to move back to Luiren and live out my days among the Hin people who welcome me so well.

    Plan B…I don’t know…perhaps I need to think more on this._


  • _Entry six:

    I had a few interesting conversations in the last couple of days, ones that may help me in the future I am sure. I spoke first with a man – whose name escapes me – that works at the Bardic College. Actually he is a professor there, I learned this when he very pompously informed me of such, and insisted that I must have heard of him somewhere or another. To his great dismay and my amusement, I hadn’t – besides I could probably out perform him anyways – but the man was a wealth of information on the happenings of around Jiyyd. While he did not seem to know as much as I did he seemed eager to help, perhaps I could speak to him again and see if the Bardic College would be willing to support my endeavors to save the lore of Jiyyd.

    The next day the most peculiar thing happened, I was getting ready to leave the city for a while and head to Norwick, when I was approached by a woman who offered to sell herself to me for a mere ten gold coins so that she could feed her children. Being a mother myself, my heart opened up to this woman who had taken to steeping to prostitution in order to feed her young. I graciously declined her offer, but asked her how she had come to be in such a situation, only to hear a story that was very similar to my own in many aspects. I decided then that I did not want to let this woman go when I was in a position to help her. I gave her all that I had at the time, which was not much but should be more than enough to feed her and her children, as well as provide room and board somewhere should they need it. She was so grateful she cried and hugged me before going to get food for her children, and while I am broke yet again, I do not mind at all, I know I did what was right.

    It was then that I travelled to Norwick, where I met a most interesting man named Cariyc, or something along those lines; I probably am mis-spelling his name. Anyways this man was a Priest of Torm, a good, humble man who is trying simply to make a difference in the crazy world. I spoke at length with him about the doctrine of Torm, discovering it to be something that has peaked my interest – a feat that not very many things can accomplish. The deities focus among other things is family, something I hold very near and dear to my heart. We also spoke of what is required to be part of an order of Torm and while I know most of that information it is always good to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Different perspective and all.

    After we were done speaking I was left to ponder the things which I have learned, and now I wonder, is it possible for me to live a life like that?_


  • _Entry Five:

    I met a pregnant elf today. She was sitting in the Peltarch commons with the man I can only assume was her mate. I think the man was making eyes at me, for he made a comment I did not quite catch and in the next instant she had “accidentally” spilled her tea all over his lap. Which was most amusing. Then she waddled away to get more tea and the man didn’t even lift a finger to help her! Does honor and treating a woman right not exist in the world anymore?! I walked over to the man and nearly cuffed him on the ears could I reach that high, fortunately for him I could not.

    After a quick breakfast I changed into my armor and headed for Jiyyd. Intent on doing research to see what exactly I would be up against in trying to recover anything that may have survived the initial explosion that destroyed my home village. I found the once lush landscape is now all but desolate and abandoned. Once lush were filled with animals and even the occasional Orc or Hobgoblin are now ruled by swarms of diseased locusts, corrupted animals and once-men – a term I came up with for those people who have fallen to the demons sway. Though I remained unseen, the bloodlust in their eyes was palpable, and I dared not reveal my position les I start a fight I cannot win.

    My instincts tell me there may yet be something left of Jiyyd that can be recovered and saved for posterity. However where that may be I do not know. I shall have to do some more scouting around to see what can be seen of the hole that was once Jiyyd._


  • _Entry Four:

    I no longer have a purpose in life. It is something that I believe I have sensed coming for a long time but never really wanted to accept. I still do not believe myself useless, merely a ghost of what I once was. In my obsession to find my husband I have made myself all but useless to those around me, until I finally reached the point where I’m merely existing. Barely with enough food to get by and no place that I may call home any longer.

    For the last few months I have been staying in Peltarch, sleeping where I can and earning money by performing in the streets as I did when I was young. It earns a living, albeit not a very good one, however I can get by on my skills alone and do not wish to impose on anyone I know who lives in the city. The Bardic Collage has offered me a place to stay there, telling me I would always be welcome – which I already knew thank you very much – but I cannot make myself stay there, it never felt right even when I was younger. Speaking of which, it has come to my attention that I still look as young as I did when I fist met Zak all those years and years ago, I feel it too. Being a rare breed of Hin – my father was an elf – and knowing my people life full lives even without elvish blood mixed in I have officially have no idea how long I shall tarry on this world. What I do know is that if I must die, I would rather do it saving someone while taking some Drow or undead or both out with me.

    So there.

    But I digress from my original purpose for this entry, it has come to my attention that the stories of the people who lived and loved in Jiyyd is slowly being lost as those who used to live there die out, or move on to other realms and kingdoms. I simply cannot stand idly by while all of that knowledge and lore fades into nothing, and intend to do something about it.

    I intend to get the attention of a Peltarch Senator if I must in order to procure help on this task, I know better than to venture into demon held lands alone. Weather one shall listen to my requests or not I do not know but I know I have to try as very little support for such an endeavor could be found in Norwick these days. At least very little support that can be trusted outside of the legion of course.

    I shall make another entry at fist availability, for I am tired and wish to find a place to sleep. It looks like it is going to rain again so perhaps I can find a place in the Inn to hide away._


  • _Entry Three:

    I'm still hungey and out of rations now. The reason for this is quite simple really, bad luck. I traveled to the southen most Gate towards the Rawlins in Norwick intent on hunting a few animals for food. But I delayed my hunt when i came accross an old aquaintence in the forme of Lyte. She is doing well and is apparently a general now in the Troff legion. She and a few other Legionairs were guarding the newly restored gate in case something happened during the night.

    Unfortunatly something did happen - zombies attacked.

    If there is one thing in this harsh world I hate as equally as Drow it is undead. The reason for this is that as a Bard i do have some formal combat training that keeps me safe and allows me to defend myself. I even have magics at my disposal - However it seems no ammount of magic or combat skill can keep me safe against an Undead creature.

    But it gets worse, it seems that whatever Necromancer or Lich is behind this has the ability to raise collasal undead creatues and even death knights! I beleive I need to beging to train more if I am going to survive all this.

    Deet was there with me when the attack happened, it seems his fighting style is remenicent of Zak and Mallis as well. Which means charging headlong into the thick of it and hope the healer can keep up. Fortunatly no one died during this attack I pray that each time we can come out of it so lucky.

    Tomarrow I shall go hunting, and i think this time during the day…_


  • _Entry two

    I met a Hin today that didnt speak Hinnish, it was very odd…

    Anyways His name is Benji and he seems to be an inventor of somekind, if I did not know better I would swear he is a gnome in disguise. But he is friendly and accompanyed me to the Bardic theater and school in peltarch. I went there to see if my Key still works but didn't have a chance to test such - the stage appears to have been remoddled and looks very nice. But I will have to return to see if my key works.

    I also met another Hin whose name pronunciation escapes me, but he calls himself Deet. He rode in by the south gates in Norwick on his pony looking as if the fate of all the world rested squarely on his armored shoulders. He carries a sword on his back that is almost as big as Zak's was, I wish i still had that old sword so i could compare (im sure Zak's would be bigger). But Deet's personality reminds me more of Mallis - well no not that harsh - more like a Mallis Light sort of personality. Brash, egotistical, and holier than thou, but tempered with some honor and kindness.

    I may be judging to quickly but I cannot help it its the way I am.

    I took to flute playing last night for the first time in two years - I still got it. Perhaps I can utilise my Talents to actually makes some coin, staying at the Inn is getting expensive and I do not want to sell the few things I have left from my old life.

    I am also running out of food but plan on hunting deer (weather permitting) later tonight - I hope I do not offend any druids. Not that it would matter I am read up enough on Silvanic lore that I am sure I could talk my way out of anything bad anyways.

    I have heard Ginger and Gears are still married which warms my heart greatly, Everyone I have asked says that Ginger is staying in the new silver vally tending to the children, I wonder if any are her own.

    I close by recording that I have still found no sign of Zak anywhere - though I will always keep searching even if only in the back of my mind._