3. Fury And Faith: Thoughts of a Warpriest

Fury And Faith: Thoughts of a Warpriest


  • _Balor!

    Someone in the large group of raiders yelled, voicing the surprise and terror they all felt as the massive demon came into view, stalking towards the group at a leasurely place. An apex predator loose in a herd of cattle.

    The battle trough the old tunnels had its challenging moments, powerful undead pouring around every corner and out of every crevice. The encounter with the lich had been anticlimactic though. It was destroyed by Mielliki's power before it could utter even a single word. Dissapointing.
    Now though, it seemed Tempus had provided suitable compensation.

    Despite standing more than twice as high as the tallest, radiating overwhelming power and terror, it did not find its prey fleeing in fear. No, these were not some Dalelands shepards or Cormyran horsemen. These were some of Narfell's most capable warriors, the best of a land where only the strong and cunning thrive; Mariston, Eluriel, Aelthas, Lycka and many more. They scattered, luring the Balor into their midst, then turning to bring it down as any other giant. Singled-out, overwhelmed. Little by little, minute after minute, blessed steel, piercing arrows and sheer stubborn tenacity brought the mighty demon down. And though close at times, at the cost of not a single death.

    The most powerful demon and greatest terror he had ever encountered, utterly destroyed in minutes. He wondered then what could truly challenge Narfell._


  • _Most people seem to be completely indoctrinated that the only set of tactics that works when raiding an area is to move a corner at a time, and lure the enemy one man at a time around your corner. Don't even think of suggesting anything else, because at best it makes you stupid. I get so tired and frustrated with all the creeping around, knowing that sooner or later the things we raid are going to figure it out and start using it against us. Then again, so many of the things I fight seem to be completely oblivious to their friends running off and around a corner one by one. It makes no sense. Sooner or later though.. it'll change. And there'll be hells to pay when it does.

    I don't see any honour and glory in skulking around corners and picking off enemies one by one with five or more people. And I seem to be the only one feeling this way. With all the deaths I've had and they don't seem to suffer, I can't help but wonder though: how do you blend strength and cunning, in a way that Tempus would approve of?_

    ScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribble _…so that might explain why Tempus chose me for this assignment. He's as much a general as a warrior. Why send one of your strongest warpriests when a lesser one can do it just as well. If Azraele really did become a demilich, and it wouldn't be tied to the philactery anymore, it might explain why Tempus sent me instead. Even though the philactery wouldn't be tied to the lich anymore, it could still hold some information that the Kelemnvorans might be able to use.

    Or, maybe like Lycka said, I've been given the chance to rise in His service. It doesn't really matter either way, as these are the orders and I'm following them. ScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribbleScribble
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    Sol
    Lycka
    Mia
    Aelthas
    C'tan
    Meril
    Eluriel
    Ronan
    Jerrick_


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  • _He walked out of the large tent, looking up at the glen's green canopy as it still obscured much of the slowly rising sun's light. Surrounded by tall cliffs on all sides, the glen was sheltered from the punishing northern wind – even though he didn't much mind it at most times -- and offered a haven of relative peace and safety in a war-torn region. Even a warpriest needs peace and quiet now and then.

    A few steps and he reached a large wooden tub. If Narfell had anything aplenty it was rain, and the tub was almost completely filled. After quickly washing his arms and chest, he knelt to hold his entire head under, feeling the cooling chill spread over his face, up his neck and down his back. As even the sounds of the wind trough leaves, birds and the distant footsteps of other dwellers were muffled, his thoughts became all the louder. With those, he peeled away the shell around his heart and peered inside.

    He was sure Rith -- and by extension -- Fadia and Lune hated him. He saw it in the way they looked at him. If he asked, they would likely say it is because of how he had beaten Saria -- without knowing or caring about circumstance, of course -- but he knew it had had started far before that.
    Though the thought of possibly offending someone meant very little to him, it did have some practical consequences. Rith would have been useful -- not necessary, but useful -- in the Campaign, and Fadia was an elder druid. Though she was not the only one, she could bar him and Sol from living in the glen. This had the potential to create problems, but would create new opportunities as well.

    Realising his lungs were burning, he pulled his head from the tub, taking a deep breath as he stood up and quickly dried his face and hair with a rough towel. Looking around one last time to ensure everything was as it should be, a warrior reflex if nothing else, he headed back inside the tent. Devinee raised her head slowly at his approach, and he gave the lion a respectful nod as he stepped past her enclosed 'den'. Even though the big cat was relatively tame and remained notably weak, it was still very much a full-grown lion. No matter how some druids and hunters treated their wolves and panthers as common housedogs and cats, he wasn't going to. Not only would it be decidedly unwise, especially as a non-druid, it also seemed disrespectful. The wild should be left wild.

    He paused in his step as when he entered the tent's living area, as he was treated to a sight no artist could ever fully recreate. There, in the middle of the large, low bed lied a sleeping vision of loveliness. Tousled dark-blonde hair framed a soft, slightly exotic face. The bed's furs only covered her up to the small of her back, leaving soft curves delightfully obscured. With her arm draped elegantly alongside her face, she seemed almost delicate. He smiled as he acknowledged, again, that she was far stronger than she seemed, and could be every bit the lioness he had come to call her. With that thought in mind, he crept closer and underneath the furs, to give her a memorable wake up._


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    Friad Fred


  • _"I met Tempus.

    He pulled me back from another death, and gave me an assignment. It sounds like a challenge, but the mere fact that He's given me that much attention, and trusts me with this was enough to pull me out of the growing apathy I was feeling. I need to start a campaign journal to keep my operations and information clear. It'll take digging for scraps in unusual places, though Tempus warned me not to rush. I take it that it doesn't involve an immediate threat, but still something that has to be dealt with. I pray He will guide me, and give me the strength to succeed.

    That, and Sol. I love Sol. I need a better word for it, because 'love' doesn't say enough. I've lost a lot of power, but while before it made me feel bad without much context, now I feel bad - and afraid - because of what it might stop me from doing. Aside from making my assignment much more difficult, though a greater test as well, I may not be strong enough to defeat Sol's teacher and earn the right to marry her. Even now, I didn't feel that bad about the thought of Peltarch burning, but I feel terrified about not being proving worthy. Dangerous line of thought, this.

    I don't know what scares me most. The thought that I might fail and never marry her, or the knowledge that a few months ago the thought of marrying was what scared me, and now it's all I want."_

    AZRAELE CAMPAIGN
    BACKGROUND:
    Tempus has commanded that the Philactery of Azraele, an ancient and powerful lich, is captured and delivered to the Temple of Kelemnvor.

    OBJECTIVES:
    1. Find and capture Philactery of Azraele
    2. Deliver Philactery to Temple of Kelemnvor

    CAMPAIGN PARTICIPANTS
    ALLIES:
    Temple of Kelemnvor - unconfirmed. Have supplied information so far, and assumed that they stand to benefit from having the philactery delivered to them. May be able to secure additional support as required.

    CONTACTS:
    Thander: Can provide information on undead in general. As priest of Kelemnvor, he can be expected to be suitably dedicated to the campaign's success.

    Meril: elven bard. Said he will keep me informed if he finds anything relative. Reliability questionable at this time.

    HOSTILES:
    Azraele - Unconfirmed. Assumed he/it doesn't want to give up the philactery by asking nicely. Highly powerful, but exact powers currently unknown.

    INFORMATION
    Temple of Kelemnvor: "Azraele is/was an archmage lich What is a lich? What are the strengths and weaknesses of a lich? thought destroyed at the same timethat Rass and the Eastlanders were defeated attacking old Norwick. Need an exact timeframe. I don't know about any attack by Rass and the Eastlanders on Norwick. He is very powerful and know to be able to cast timestop." What does this do?
    NOTE: Temple of Kelemnvor had no knowledge that Azraele still exist. He had apparantly been thought of as destroyed. Information may be scarce.


  • _"And just like that, I've begun losing His favor. Three deaths in under a month. So many prayers and so much strength lost, just like that. Tempus tells me to have no fear, and fight on no matter the odds.

    So I fought on, alone against a pack of wolves on the road east. It was an ambush, and I was cut off. It was a fairly good death, fitting for a warrior, but death all the same.
    I fought on, against my own advice, against the frost wolves of the mountains. Their breath was too powerful, and pushed me over a cliff. Not a good death.
    And I fought on against the kobolds in their cave. Against two kobolds. And still I died. Pathetic.

    If this is what Tempus teaches and commands, to know no fear and fight on no matter what, then why has it made me so much weaker? Why does it feel like the shrine's statue watches me with disdain? What have I done to suddenly have His favor turn against me? Is it because I failed in the Legion? I know I did everything I could, and He would know too. So why, then?
    Tempus, I'd pray for forgiveness, but I don't really know what I've done wrong.

    What have I done, and what will I do about it? At least in the Legion I had some sense of direction and purpose – even though the way there was wrong. But now, I'm just on my own and I've found my list of allies is a lot shorter than I thought. I wonder if I have any at all.

    This is no good. These doubts cripple me, and I lash out where I can. What was the point of picking fights with Oscuran guards and nobles -- aside from that they're inbred, lying, twisting, corrupting, cowardly, dishonourable shadow-skulking snakes. Aside from the occasional dwarf -- and even then -- has anything good ever come out of a cave?

    I have to pull myself together, and figure it out. And I have the feeling that I'll learn the most from my spirit quest -- still have to find a shaman for that. Hopefully, it'll at least teach me something about myself. I might have been born here, but I don't have Narfellan blood -- Damarran and Amian, as far as I know. I can't even find Amia on any maps -- so maybe Narfell isn't my 'homeland' after all, even though I was born here. Maybe I'm just as much an outlander as the next. I have to find what I believe is worth fighting for. I thought it was Narfell, but you may as well be fighting for a dozen different countries at the same time: Peltarch - Norwick - Oscura - Gypsies - Druids - ... Which one of these do I believe in? Do I believe in any of them?

    I still have faith in Tempus, even though He might not have it in me. He'll guide me the right way sooner or later. I just have to see it and follow when He does. Until then, I'm going to fight for Sol, gold and glory. Things I care about, at least."_


  • _He knelt in front of the shrine, placing a scythe with the offerings, lowering his head and speaking quietly.
    "Tempus. In name of Cara Desh, I offer you these spoils. May you see her, and grant her Your favor in battle."

    He then placed a number of blue gems with the offerings, again kneeling down and lowering his head.
    "Lord of Battle. In name of Persephone Kore, I offer you these spoils. May you see her, and grant her Your favor in battle."

    Finally, he placed some more gems, garnets, with the offerings. He knelt, lowered his head, and spoke.
    "Foehammer. In name of Ayala, I offer you these spoils. May you see her, and grant her Your favor in battle.

    Finally, he stood up, placed his fist over his chest - the oldest of salutes - and spoke a last time, before leaving the shrine.
    "Glory to Tempus, Honour To Your Name."_


  • @dbb5058c22:

    Sol & Saria

    I love Sol. I love how she looks, how she moves, how she smiles, how she purrs, how she feels, how she touches, how she listens, how she cares, how she's there. I love the feeling of her hair, I love the way she prowls around, how she's worth fighting for and I love how she keeps surprising me. Maybe I should surprise her.

    @dbb5058c22:

    Steel Fangs

    I'm not sure I should lead anything. It would be good to see Temposan warriors fighting together, but I'm not powerful and experienced enough to lead. What sort of group would it be? What would they fight for?
    Narfell as a whole? A part of it? Maybe even take a part and defend it?

    @dbb5058c22:

    Narfell

    He who defends everything defends nothing.
    Maybe I'd be better off joining the Militia or the Defenders. Norwick sees a lot of battle, but if those visions are true the Defenders will have work to do soon. But Peltarch is so very law-bound. Would I even be able to fit in?
    I'll just keep preaching for now. Tempus will show me the way.

    @dbb5058c22:

    Lt. West & Tuigans

    Met some black orcs but didn't learn a lot. What are they up to?

    @dbb5058c22:

    Ormpur

    Need more Temposans. Also need to keep helping to clear Jiyyd, unless I can find a mage that can teleport back and forth.


  • _"The strong are the strong alone. I don't remember where I heard this, but it's never been as relevant as now. My name vanished from the Legion's roster, telling me all I needed to know. The Legion doesn't want me, need me, and doesn't have the strength to tell it to my face. It doesn't matter now.

    It doesn't nearly bother me as much as I thought it would either. After so much problems, I feel relieved. All the nonsense and hypocrasy I had to support, with only my loyalty keeping me doing it. But now that they've cut me out, I won't have to worry about being made out to be a traitor. Already, it feels like a great weight has been pulled from my shoulders. Now I'm free-er to serve Tempus as I should. All in all, the Legion was an unpleasant experience, but still an experience."

    Things to consider:

    • Sol & Saria
    • Steel Fangs
    • Narfell
    • Lt. West & Tuigans
    • Ormpur_

  • He looked up to the massive statue, and it looked down at him. It seemed so lifelike; it almost looked like it was about to step down from the stones it was standing on to go wage war somewhere. The shrine to Tempus had turned out to be a true marvel. Not quite a true temple-barracks but a shrine worthy of the Lord of Battles. Even though it was meant to honour those who fought in the N'Jast war – on both sides, though this was a public secret - such are the ways of Tempus -- the location meant little to him. However, looking at the statue made him feel closer to Tempus than he ever could - outside of true and glorious battle - to the point where he found himself talking to the statue's stone facade.

    _Tempus, it's been an interesting few weeks. Perhaps not to You, but they were to me. I was unmade Legion chaplain, right as I was about to officially be made Legion chaplain. It close to shattered my dedication to the Legion, but then again.. it's just a title, a word. Doesn't change what I can do; though I had to rethink my strategy. I'm still working it out.

    Saria seems to have left again. I hope she's alright, though it does simplify things. And with Mia now having found Del, or Del having found Mia, I've spent more time with Sol lately than I thought possible a few weeks ago. She's really growing on. I even start to feel bad about her lion, which I didn't really care about before. I know she's slowly wearing down my defense, and I'm not sure I should stop it. My faith and dedication to you is a defense she hasn't quite cracked yet though, my Lord.

    Tempus, I thank you for continuing to grant me strength and courage, and guide me trough battle. Ever since I had a part – a small part, but still -- in destroying that enormous demon spider, new rites and prayers have become clear to me, and I intend to use them well. My skill with my axe is also improving. Enemies are becoming easier to counter and defeat.

    At the moment, things are going well, so I have nothing in particular to pray for, aside from continued strength and courage. However.. I do pray that you would send Your Champion, Maya, this way again. She started building this shrine long ago, and she deserves to see it now that it's finished. I pray that you are pleased with her work, and my own help at building it._


  • He traced his heavy, calloused fingers over her soft skin as she slept peacefully. It had been a good night, and despite what may happen in a few hours, right now there was peace and quiet. He knew that above all mortals, he loved Mia, Saria and Sol the most.
    Mia had always been a haven, where he could run and hide when things became too much. His oldest friend.
    Saria was full of passion. She was not always easy to love, but he loved her all the same. Perhaps moreso because of her nature.
    Sol was caring and soft. He often felt he would break her if he wasn't careful, she seemed so fragile.

    _I'm still growing, still learning. If I look back on how I felt a while ago – and not without reason -- I can still see how much I have to learn. I'm not as strong or resilient as I should be. But, if I want to be.. will that mean I have to close myself off to everyone? That sounds very lonely.

    The Legionaire in me would say that I should balance things. Never get carried away, keep my mind and stay focused. But deeper than that, I feel I should live fiercely. Fight fiercely. Love fiercely, and with no regret. The pain Cara caused me is fading; I can actually look at her now without feeling my blood boil. At the time, it felt so terrible though. As if it was something that'd change me forever. Maybe I'm more resilient than I thought. Though, Sol and Saria are helping a lot. They have such nice ways to keep me distracted.

    Even though I promised myself I wouldn't ever again, I can't help loving them, just like I love Mia. I think about them, I worry about them, and I care about them. And they're convincing me they care about me. If this turns out to be a lie, then.. it would hurt. And I'd heal. And that gives me the courage to let them get this close; the knowledge that even if they'd abuse my trust I'd survive and grow past it. Still, I pray they won't.

    Saria and Sol both want to marry me, but.. I can't decide. And would it even be fair? My oath to Tempus and my devotion to Narfell and the Legion are difficult enough, but to add a wife or wives into that? Tempting, but hardly smart. Divided loyalties can lead to a lot of trouble. Besides, despite my love for them, I don't feel the overwhelming, all-consuming passion for them that Roisian told me about. Do I love them? Yes. If Aelthas would lose Lycka, he would probably be destroyed. Would losing Saria or Sol destroy me? No. It would hurt, but it wouldn't destroy me.

    Tempus, I thank you for steeling my heart and soul. In You I have faith, and trough You, I have faith in myself. I pray you never stop being the father I never had._


  • The candles in the tower's Hall of Honours bathed the room in a dimmed light. A place he had created to honour the Legion's victories and honoured fallen, to store relics and tomes and to reflect. Most of all, it was his sanctuary, a strong bulwark against the whimsical cruelties of the world. Here, there was stability and peace. Here, there was purpose and reason. Here was eternity.

    He had spent the past hours methodically cleaning his armor. Dents and rends had self-repaired themselves over time, the magic in the armor ensuring it would always be in pristine condition. Only when every chain and every plate had been polished until it shined like glass was he content.
    He then assembled the hard-earned armour on the stand, and annointed it with sacred oils, blessed by Tempus to ensure the purity of the armour, and to appease its spirit. Perhaps it would be considered somewhat strange by most for a priest to consider spirits, but Tempus teaches that every armor and every weapon has its own spirit, that retains part of its wielder long after they had died and rotten away. When it was done, he stood and watched the armour, running a hand on the clear engravement on the left shoulder plate; "Duty Calls Us. Honour Guides Us. Faith Shields Us."; and thought on many things..

    _If it wasn't enough for Cara to try and drive a dagger into my heart, now she has to twist the blade by spreading something I told her in trust. I cannot trust her ever again, but at least I don't have to suffer her in the Legion anymore. Still, her betrayal already had some obvious consequences. Saria returned, for whatever reason, and now she claims I used her and discarded her. Because she had to learn from Cara what she never even asked me. And even though I reached out and tried to talk to her for an entire night, she still seems intent on … something that involves me caring more than I should. I won't even bother to find out anymore. These past days have only confirmed what I already knew, and I learned my lesson well. I won't let myself ever be left open by the weakness of trust given far too easily again. There are only two who have truly earned it, and who I'll keep giving it, even though I fear what they may do with it.

    Tempus, I pray you will push these treasonous thoughts from my mind, that I may never doubt you. I pray that you may also strengthen me, not to indulge in the weakness that is easy trust. I pray that you watch over Mia, who has never betrayed me. I pray she never does._

    He then chanted the Lays of War, the deep, droning tones and the steady rhytm pushed doubts and fears from his mind, steeling and envigorating his soul. The lyrics came to him naturally, Tempus placing them in his mind though they were in a tongue he didn't understand. But there was strength in them all the same, and he know their meaning. They called for a purge of all weakness, that a warrior could know strength beyond strength, and challenge the greatest foes. They called for courage unbound, which not even the greatest horror could chain. Most of all, they called the fury from the depths of his soul, until he felt it course trough his limbs. Long prayer and meditation had thought him focus, and even though he felt its power roar trough him, he would not lose himself to it. It was soothing, as if he was standing in the eye of Tempus' storm. Nothing could touch him here.

    Nobody could hurt him here.


  • _Saria left and followed what's left of her tribe north. Just like that, the wind turned again and she decided to leave. And only hours after she told me she wouldn't pull a Cara on me. How ironic.
    Now there's only Sol and Mia left for people I feel good being around. Sol's not always easy to understand though, and I haven't seen Mia in months. At this rate, I'm going to be out of mortals I feel comfortable with very soon. All the others I know, Rith, Fadia, Rain,.. there's always something that puts me off about them. They don't need me and I have nothing to offer them.

    On the upside, at least I was involved in two good raids. One against gnolls and one into a strange tower across the icelace. There's a lot less gnolls now, and there's a good amount of constructs gone as well._


  • _Bah, women. Or maybe it's my own fault.

    Cara turned to Sune, and she told me she had feelings for me. That she wanted to be more than just friends. It took me some time to get over the shock of it, but after a few days I was beginning to accept it. I was even beginning to like the idea. Seeing those people around with relationships, nice and stable, and seeing the depth of those relationships I always felt that I was missing something. I was beginning to feel that Cara could give that to me.

    And now, all of a sudden the wind turned and she thinks it's a bad idea. She can't even tell me why. It's not like she doesn't know who I am, or what sort of life I've lived so far. I was all ready to change it. But now she's saying she doesn't want it, that she made a mistake. And then she left me hanging, just like that. I don't know what I did wrong, or what I did to deserve this.

    It's ironic. I held her up when life had her down and cooling. I was there for her when Elidor had toyed with her feelings, had almost broken her heart, and now she damn near goes and rips mine out. Good thing I know I'm tougher than this, but still hurts. A lot. I should just give up on women. Maybe love really is poison, something that causes weakness. What Cara and I had wasn't even love, but it was growing into it. And look at what it did already.

    Well, at least I'll learn from this like I learn from every wound and scar I have. I'm not going to let anything or anyone get into my armor that easily again. I'll make my heart into a fortress, so that anyone who wants to get in will have to work for it. But what will I make that fortress of? Contempt? Bitterness? Fear? Focus? Duty? Faith?_


  • _I'm starting to get into a daily routine, for as far as I have 'normal' days. Wake up at dawn, head outside for a wash with night-cold water to wake up, then put on my armor. Two times a hundred pushups, and another hundred if I'm in good shape. Then a run to Norwick in full pack, just in time for breakfast at the inn. Some bread, eggs and some of whatever leftover meat they have from yesterday. Quarter hour to let it sink, and then another full run back to the tower, just in time for the morning's briefing. I've been slacking lately, but this is helping. I wish I could live my life more regularly, and train harder. The discipline is good for me, but the Legion doesn't work with rigid routine, and Narfell doesn't allow it.

    My new armor's finished, and I have to admit it's a brilliant piece. Much stronger than my old one, and I had it engraved with a few sermons. Whenever I look at them, they give me strength and focus, even if I'm the one that spoke them. I especially like the one on my massive left shoulder plate.
    "Duty calls us.
    Honour guides us.
    Faith shields us."
    I almost can't believe I spoke those words in one of the services I held. There just seems to be so much strength and wisdom in them, that they shouldn't be mine. But they still are.

    To finish the armor, I wrote the names of those in the Tome of the Fallen on a piece of parchment and I put it in a frame, which was magically protected and attached to my chest plate. That way, any Legionaire could always see those names, and draw inspiration from them. Major Telli, Sergeant Wog, Sergeant Yngdir,.. Heroes, all of them.

    And when the next chaplain wears this armor, I pray my name will be among them._


  • _Hammerhand stands on the deck of the riverboat, as it slowly slides northwards trough the night. He watches the shores of the river pass by, deep in thought.

    "Why do I bother with this sheite?

    First there's the one warrior, Jay. Apparantly he's a Temposan, whose interpretation of the faith is murdering women and children. He decided it would be a good idea to challenge the Legion, and he's now camping outside until we deal with him. I thought about going out to talk to him, to find out why he did and does what he did and does. But then I find out I don't really want to know. I don't care. Whatever reasons he has, I don't want to know them. I can't be bothered to think or pray on them.

    Then we went with a group –- a much too large, disorganised, unprepared group -- to the abyss to find some lost adventurers. As if anyone would come to get me from the abyss if one of my 'adventures' botched and I would end up in the abyss. They were dead, of course. And surprisingly, non of us died down there. On the good side, I did manage to get a nice new armor out of it. Looks like it belonged to a warpriest once. I'm going to work on restoring it. My old armor's gone trough a lot with me, but it's really had its time. I'm going to keep it stored, so I can go back and look at it, and remember when I have to.

    Clay challenged me to a fist fight, for flirting with Dondiah. As if the hypocrite doesn't know the paper-thin outfits she walks around in. As if he doesn't know I wouldn't ever seriously consider putting a stick between them. Even though I don't understand it, I respect people that have their sort of bond. I respect their bond.
    I was about to beat him off his boots when Dondiah jumped in and healed him up to strength, so he could beat me to the ground. I wasn't going to give in that easy, but I was too weakened to defeat him even after a second round. After that, they left. It was probably their plan all along. Revenge for being too weak to keep Clay alive in the pass?

    There's really nobody to blame for it but me. I try to get along with people, and give them a chance. I shouldn't do it. I shouldn't let my guard down this easily. I should stop trusting so very easily. I damn well know I should, but that doesn't make it easy. Having friends is a nice thing to fool yourself into. I talked to Sol about it -- there I go, making the same damn mistake again -- and she said I had a heart, and that it seperated us from the gnolls. I don't know if that's all such a strength. As long as I have my courage to see things trough, and my honour to guide me, do I really need a heart? Do I need to care?

    Who can I rely on? Who can I trust? Mia seems to be the only one. And there's no knowing that will ever change. Am I slowly going insane? Paranoid? Would that be a bad thing?_


  • _What started as a fairly generic patrol to the gnolls ended in disaster. When Dondiah, Clay, Del and me reached the bridge in the pass, we heard a cry for help and ran to investigate. Once we were there, we found one of the eastlander swordsmen, who promptly attacked us.
    And I froze.

    My mind just .. locked down. I looked for an ambush that wasn't there, I saw Del go down in one swipe from the swordsman before it started chasing after Dondiah. Clayton jumped in to save her but was cut down quickly. And I watched him die. Not that I could have reached him from where I was standing on the hill, but.. I should have been there, not half a mile away. By the time the Eastlander had finished off Clayton, my legs had started moving and I had walked up. When it turned to kill Dondiah again, I had reached him and saw my arm swing my axe into his chest, killing him almost instantly. But there was a dullness in my head. I felt nothing. Clayton and Del were dead, and I had made no effort to prevent it. I should have stopped it from happening. I should have stopped Dondiah from rushing in. But I didn't. Why?

    We took the bodies. First to the tower, and then to Norwick. All the while I felt nothing. They were raised, and I felt nothing. I reported the attack to Captain Benji, and I felt nothing. But when I returned to the Legion tower.. I started feeling. And I haven't felt this bad in longer than I can remember. I don't even remember feeling this bad about my insult of Lycka. That time it was only me that faced the consequences, but now.. two people dead. A third almost..

    I moved back to Norwick, and I apologised to Del and Dondiah. I couldn't find Clay. They seemed to forgive me, but I don't want their forgiveness. For some reason, I froze. I couldn't be relied on to do my part, and people died. I doubt it was some sort of magic spell. Once those pass, you generally know what happened. But I don't.

    What happened to me?_


  • _Against all odds, we defeated the dracolich. Not only that, but we also defeated Wendingo. It must have been an epic battle, though I was busy escorting refugees out of Norwick. Not somewhere I wanted to be, but as the hobgoblins proved, something that was necessary. Though we suffered only three losses, and two of those already returned, Sergeant Yngdir fell and hasn't. I've begun doing the Rites of the Fallen for him, though I'm leaving enough time for people to pay him one last visit. May Tempus take him into His halls, or guard his soul on the way to its final rest.

    The second loss the Legion suffered was that of Wog. He was old, and died in his bed. Not a fitting end for a warrior, but I've learned he's fought with the Legion for decades now. May Tempus take him into His halls, or guard his sould on the way to its final rest.

    In between performing the rites for these people, I've been enjoying the spoils of war… being some peace and time to enjoy life. I got some new clothes, which I've been needing ever since I returned to life, but the shirt was already torn by an elven huntress -- what's her name again? My memory hasn't been as good ever since I died.. -- with metal studs, rings and even chains across her body. That was an interesting night.
    And for the first time in longer than I can remember, I drank more than I should have. A drinking contest with Uniel, one of the Legion's new recruits, which I'm pretty sure I won. She seems like a nice, fun girl.

    All in all, life's good right now. The battle strengthened the sense of unity in the land, and there's a fresh sense of hope. I can't help wondering when the next major threat will appear though, and what it'll be. After defeating both an undead dragon and a half-god in one day, I'm not sure there's anything left that could cause the same amount of fear. But something will come, something always does._


  • _A Temposan hobgoblin called Gazelbu challenged me for my warhammer, and he did earn it in an honourable fight. That night though, he lead a group against Norwick and I won back my hammer, as well as his axe. Tempus guard his soul, he fought with honour.

    I'm still carying the symbol of a red gryphon on my armor. I've heard it was once the symbol of an academy I started, though if that's only the case I wouldn't feel the need to keep it anymore. I do though. I don't know why, but seeing it gives me almost as much confidence as my symbol of Tempus does, like a statue or painting of a great hero would. But why? As far as I remember I've never even met a gryphon._