3. "I hate the name sorceress." A journal of Rhiannon

"I hate the name sorceress." A journal of Rhiannon


  • Sometimes I feel old. Old as dirt. Old as the stars in the sky, older than the ancient dwarf who came by the fire saying that this may be his last season. Perhaps is just that the name Sorceress, or Witch, being to mind gray old ladies casting healing on the sick and inferim, and growing old and bored with life.

    I feel… like there's something there on the horizon waiting, and it's just smirking at me, like I won't be there for another ten centuries. i HATE it all...

    Actually, I hate a lot of things right now, or rather, lately.
    Now, I can USE them. Plan to use them. Know that I will be using them... and the anger fades some, for the moment.

    Ronan. He is a sorcerer (I wonder if HE likes that name) as well, and it turns out, we have QUITE a lot in common.
    He too, found out he had his blood-gift for magic when he was younger, and found out in anger, as did I. Well, I don't feel like writing a terrible lot, but I do want to remember all of this.

    He is now my teacher. I am his apprentice. After simply ONE day with him, and his advice to guide me, I learned how to empower a spell I already knew, and learned an entirely different one, as well as a more efficient way of restoring myself for the next time I want to cast...

    I think I can learn a lot from him. Maybe more than I intended upon in the beginning... and no, nit in any bad way. He is quite taken, and I... well dragonshit, I'm deciding right now to just WAIT until someone chases me. Thorn not only has Winter, who is really neat, and loaned me a magic crossbow, but even if it were NOT for Winter... he has too many women chasing after him as it is.

    I will become powerful, and live to be great. I will be known by many, and become more than I ever dreamed. I will find that horizon in the distance, and blow it away like dust from an old book. I will HAVE no horizons, no limits. My destiny will know no bounds, and it has already started. Right, NOW.


  • _Well it's been nearly a year since I've written. Too long, but time's whisked by in a blur, like dust pushed out the door by a broom. A flurry of noise and movement, then nothing.

    I've done a lot lately. Found a vampire, fought skeletons and zombies, beat up goblins, and played music for people, with varying results. One thing I have not done however, is seek out Calen.

    I guess I took it for granted that he'd show up like he always does, but he has not. I did see him in Norwick lately though, but he went right back to Jiyyd.

    Duty first. Fortifying Jiyyd and the like.

    He apparently thought I wanted nothing to do with him since I haven't actually gone and sought him out over the past few months… but he hasn't exactly found me either. I don't know what to think.

    I still like im and everything, and there's not anyone else... but, I don't know. Can I actually give him what he needs, or him me? I don't know what to think lately.

    I actually cried last night, until I fell asleep.

    I feel like a silly little girl. He wouldn't hold my hand walking to town, and that hurt. He kissed my hand when I left though... what the HELLS am I supposed to make of anything anymore?

    I don't know what to do now.... so I guess I'll just keep doing what I need to do. If he wants to see me, he knows how to find me.

    As for Me, some dwarf priest of beasts took trouble to another plane, where Trouble apparently met some God. He now glows when he's near this dwarf, some kind of protection I think. I guess it's a good thing, but I nearly lost it on the dwarf.

    I think I need to find some way to relax again, when even music isn't helping. Bathtime..._


  • Adventure! –- The word is scrawled across the top of the page in an elegant hand, fanciful lettering reflecting the mindset of the author.

    _This was one of the best rewards I've ever gotten from an adventure ever! Sure we got paid 1500 gold by that relic hunter fella last time, but that was dangerous and scary and we were frankly, a little unprepared to face all those things we did!

    This time everyone seemed to know where they were going and what they were doing except for some new fella who volunteered to help, but he did alright too!

    I'd say those eastern Goblins never stood a chance, but I know better, and I got knocked flat by a goblin assassin who was thankfully not quick enough to finish me off to prove the point.

    There was even a huge cache of treasure and weapons and things, especially potions that we got to snag from them, and I got something I've heard called a "beat stick", an awesome flail which rings like a heavy bell when I hit someone.

    I pulped a zombie with it today too! Oh it was SO awesome I didn't even mind being splattered with rotted gore! … yuck, so I DID mind, a little...

    Oh well, Prestidigitation has it's uses, mostly to avoid having to buy new outfits!

    On another Note, Calen spoils me rotten! I'm going to have to find him an awesome gift, or do something SUPER nice for him. He's always so sweet, and I think he's genuinely honestly interested in me in a way nobody has been before.

    Sure it kinda freaks me out, but for the first time last night I sat at the fire in his arms, and felt so... I dunno, safe? Right?
    All I DO know is that I'm Very deliriously happy with life right now, I think I'll go play the instrument I got with my adventure gold, a beautiful new Lyre!

    Note to self: Dondiah likes to dance to my music. We'll have to put on another show for those that aren't all aggravated or embarrassed by the beauty of the female form, she dances well and we made some decent tips!_


  • _Took a quick stroll through town, and back to Norwick. Nobody anywhere. Seems when I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, and then spending time along in the woods close to Jiyyd, it seems to rest of the world either wants to get back by not showing up when I'm near, or I've missed something big.

    Or… it's just my luck.

    Whatever the case, I'm practicing all the time on my instruments, and with my singing. I hope I get to see my friends again soon... and especially Calen.

    Now, to go take care of those deaders by the gates..._


  • _Yeesh I haven't written in a while.

    A lot's happened, actually.
    I've been down to fight Kuo Toa, begun clearing the graveyard of those undead menaces regularly (Oh GODS I hate them), and am happy to write down that Calen is well now, his injuries healed by lady Celestria and her power from Torm!

    Calen seems mostly happy now, and seems to be doing ok despite the thing with Alice and Radriel. I'm not sure what's happened with Alice, but it seems Radriel left him.

    I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad at this.

    Sure I like him, but is it safe to? I'm not sure I care if it's safe, I'll just deal with threats appropriately when and if they come.

    On a lighter note, he got me a dancers belt and a book of poetry, for me to learn the bardic arts! I'm SO excited.
    I actually can't wait til I see him next…. I really want to get him a gift though. Something he'll like... I wonder what he DOES like. Besides me of course, that gift will have to wait._

    A small sketch of Calen's general visage is on the bottom of the page


  • _What… the hell.

    Somebody took Calen, and beat the everloving crap out of him. They hurt im so badly he can't speak straight, doesn't seem to be able to think straight, and seems in pain the whole time he's looking at me through one eye.

    I promised i'd visit, and made im promise to get better.
    Where was his girl anyway? She really should have been there, and I can't help but wonder if she or another woman was part of the whole problem?

    I'm going to visit him as soon as I get the chance.
    I hope he's going to be ok.
    Hell, I hope he even wants to see me._


  • _Well nuts.

    Here I am in town, minding my own business, chit chatting amiably with people, getting lollipops for Trouble, my little dragon buddy, and sure enough, SHE walks up. No, sorry, let me clarify. She SNEAKS up, sneaky as can be, not even the pitter patter of tiny feet to warn me. NooOo, that would be TOO kind.

    Nope, instead those treacherous little feet creep up behind me, and BOO! That twerp scares the life and love out of me so badly my first reaction is to kill whatever attacked me from behind.

    Thankfully, I had the presecense of mind to use a stun spell instead of… ohh, I don't know, a combust spell? But still!

    We all had a good laugh over it once she came out of my spell induced daze, and then, oddly enough, everything went to pieces, in a good way.

    An all out tickle war between myself, Merial (Sneaky little... grr), and Radriel! Well, they were ganging up on me, so Trouble helped take Merial out (He almost beat her up, rough little guy) and I ended up making a scene by ripping radriel's shirt RIGHT OFF in the middle of Norwick.

    Ronan seemed to enjoy the show... but at any rate, would you believe the nerve, but she tried it on ME! I gave her the chance to give up after my threat, but she attacked, so I got her shirt, and hit Merial in the face with it. THAT, was funny, and she attacks me shirtless of all things.

    We must have been one HELL of a spectacle, especially when Rad managed to bare one side of MY chest.
    That was something new for me, I'll admit. partial nudity in public? Yep... I've also never been kissed, and oddly enough, she leaned in afterwards and fixed that too...

    Still not sure how I feel about that. It was just a peck and all, but still. I was NOT expecting that.

    Was it supposed to be... nice like that?

    Bah, I need to sleep. Almost out of ink too... time to find income again._


  • The words are scribbled rather quickly at first, as if in annoyance, then appear to have been picked up at a later date.

    _Alright, I'm an idiot. Evocatrix my foot, I'm a blasted idiot.
    Meeting him was rather sudden and abrupt, but we immediately went on an adventure together (I was going on my own anyway, but company was well received), and I think we really hit it off rather well!

    And THAT, is what I get for thinking. I really should just stop that, it's never done me much good, especially around here.
    MY buddy Thorn, then one I was smitten with originally but was too hung up on winter to pursue? Yeah, now he's kissing on some Amysomething chick. Not that I don't wish him happiness, but … what about Winter?

    I grumbled to myself for a few hours about that, but to be honest, he's not really my type. Ronan and that nice Ah'Ria girl are together now too.
    Couples everywhere. I really should be happy that Llira gave me my life and what happiness I have, but ... bah, am I just being ungrateful?

    Speaking of grateful, Calen, the adventuresome young man i went hunting in the plains with is taken, of course. I had just gotten his shirt off of him (Shy thing that he is) so I could bandage his injured shoulder, and given him a hug, when his "Other" walked in. Ra-something or other.

    She was polite and friendly and all the right things, but a woman knows when another is jealous. A sorceress knows better. An evocatrix? Well, we just plan know. I hope I didn't get him in trouble... but if for some reason she breaks it off with him because of a misperceived spot of infidelity (Because we truly didn't DO anything) well... I suppose I'll just have to make myself available to see him through that tough time._

    This line is scribbled through and illegible, as if she dislikes her thought there

    _Alright, now I sound like some harping slut.

    I'm just going to continue on my merry way, let Llira and fate do what they will, and keep my eyes forward for whatever may come.
    … sounds like something I should write a song about. . . Maybe I should train to be a bard after all..._


  • Well, again I open this journal. I watch my own writing flow from this quill, and even as the words form, I shake my head remembering the last time I made an entry here.

    Power. The search for it consumed me.
    Nothing else mattered, and everything else fell by the wayside.
    Now, however, for the first time in my life I've come across a revelation that involves more than just myself. It doesn't involve a potential companion or lover, or anything of the sort either, which I normally would be beside myself to write about.

    No, something far greater has been shown to me.
    I was in Norwick today, speaking to a few people that I had met recently. First and foremost, Eowiel and Hedia, two elven women.

    After cutting and braiding Hedia's hair and speaking to the two of them, things began to wind down in town, and Hedia made her way off to the inn to sleep. That left me with not much to do, and arguments were flaring up behind me, so I figured the best thing to do was to leave, which I did.
    Ironically, I ended up leaving at the same time as Eowiel.

    We spoke some on the journey to Jiyyd, where I was headed, and she decided to join me there rather than head straight home to Peltarch. She, a spellsinger of sorts and a Senator for Peltarch, was actually interested in hearing about my abilities, and seemed to like the name I chose for myself. Evocatrix DOES sound so much better than sorceress…Sorceress sounds too much like witch, and witches burn at stakes too often for me to like that word.

    At any rate, we talked for some time, and the topic of death came about. A dramatic comment likely made partially in jest was made about how I really HAD ought to look into gaining the attentions of SOMEONE or other, lest my soul be left adrift or suffer some far more terrible fate upon my death.

    Curiosity took me then, and on a whim, I asked her if she had any suggestions for a suitable patron, somewhat jesting myself of course... although I'll admit I was a trifle apprehensive after her speech, short as it was. I'll chalk all that up to stress of course.

    She went on to give me a disclaimer, saying that she was indeed biased and partial to the first example she could give me, but I told her to carry on. Who was I to rebuff her when I asked HER opinion in the first place?
    Then she spoke.

    Llira. Goddess of Joy, song, dance, and freedom, to name a few things.
    She was Eo's Goddess, and it seemed appropriate, her being a bard of sorts. Once she asked me how that sounded, I told her it was of course, lovely, which it was, but I doubted that such a Goddess would wish for a follower such as myself.

    I, of course, am an evocatrix. I cast spells through sorcerous magics I am granted through my blood, and my own specialty is combat magic. I would just as soon light someone aflame for laying a hand on me when asked not to, then walk away and wish them happiness, so it seemed an ill suited match.

    Eo, however, didn't think so. She instead offered to tell me a story of when Llira herself was driven to kill out of furious anger.
    I'll write the story itself down later, when I can hear it once more from Eo so I can do it justice, and keep it in this journal to tell others if I ever get the chance.

    The point is, it broke my heart, and made me feel for Llira in such a way as I've never felt from a story before. It was beautiful, yet tragic, a story of hope and dismay that actually brought tears to my eyes while giving me the rising urge to kill those responsible for her pain.

    Once the story was done, I closed my eyes and thought about Llira for a long moment, and left my mind open to consider myself in a different light for once. I wanted to see what else I could be, what I could possibly do to please another, perhaps even this Goddess Llira. Then it seemed clear.

    This was a Goddess who knew all too well the pain of love lost, and what we suffer through in our lives, yet devoted herself and her followers to spreading what joy there is to spread in whatever ways they wished. She is not perfect, but forgiving, and kind.
    AS I contemplated this, I felt as if held, not physically, but the warmest, safest feeling I've ever felt. It was like being held by my mother, or at least I'm sure it would be if I could remember her. Indescribable is actually a BETTER description of it somehow, despite how vague it seems.

    I felt accepted, and loved, and sure that I had a choice ahead of me that had an answer waiting for me down one path, should I choose to take it.

    I've never taken a surer step.

    (A drawing of three stars, each with 6 points adorns the page here. Orange at the top, red below to the left, and yellow to the bottom right. There is another note below that in tiny writing, as if an extra note to herself. It says one thing )

    -Find out more about the Silent Mummers.