Elissa's Monologues



  • Tower of Dreams

    "Mother, there was little enough I could do. But I suppose now I am stuck with my fate even more than before. It was well meant. As so much in life is. They, two of them wanted to actually help me. It is a nice feeling, to be cared for. I miss it so, mother.

    "A tower of dreams, a destiny, a ship called by the title of the most despicable goddess, a dryad. I took it upon myself to offer to do the trade. I gave up Balance. The sword I won't miss as much, it was already replaced once. It is the scabbard that I'll miss.

    "It feels like in that scabbard rests my very first sword. It's so long ago and still I remember how Kerrith gave it to me. Saying that I should now possess a real sword. I have come to remain in the past, rely on past friends and deeds. In my heart, I know it is silly and I know the priests would taunt me for tying my heart to something like a mere physical object. Sooner or later, it would have been broken or stolen.

    "That is why I offered to do the trade. Mother, you should have seen how possessive people can be of their things. It opens your eyes towards the teachings. We shouldn't rely on things, on anyone, because they can fail. I'm still rich, too rich for my taste. I can see it everywhere, adventurers slaughtering hordes of goblins or ettins to get at their purses.

    "Mother, I am scared. I know I carry an evil aura with me. One of those days an adventurer will try to kill me, simply because of that. If it's not a paladin who will hunt me down first.

    "It has always been there, this fear, mother. But now it has been renewed. Fed new fuel. We entered the tower of dreams, with the key. There, in the quiet halls we met destiny, an armored suit with a hollow voice. He asked us that we each should utter a wish. A quickly perceived wish was Silence, the elven mage asked for a Second Chance, albeit he elaborated that with more definites. None such explanations, or special conditions were even considered. And I, mother, I merely asked for the one currency that the priests would accept.

    "It has become so customary for me to accept this role. It is not really my deepest desire, but it was in a group. I had to keep my face. I simply could not bring myself to admit weakness. Then it still seemed a good wish. Certainly, or so I thought, better than power or wealth. For the true currency is a sure way to power and respect. Albeit, not from all or, as a matter of fact, for all.

    "Then we were asked to name one other and what we think he desires. At that point, I was not taking it seriously anymore. It seemed too much of a jest. A cruel jest, that had begun when I stepped onto a ship that I should have burned. Jerr thought so, too. He said he wished for me to get a puppy. Maybe he meant to lighten my heart by turning my thoughts to something that is free of moral judgements and is merely adorable and cute. And helpless.

    "But imagine my surprise, mother, when Destiny's master appeared and claimed that the young barbarian and the priestess had been the two who's dreams would come true. He is going to find glory. And if it was not all a cruel, cruel jest, I will receive a chance at serving Beshaba.

    "A lesser woman than me might be overjoyed by the prospect, but I know what this might mean. Beshaba is not a gentle goddess. I feel I barely manage to keep in her graces by treading so very carefully. Her trust slides from under my very feet every day. And every single day I work hard to regain the trust I lost. Mother, I do not know if I will ever earn enough of that trust to be allowed to see you.

    "This, of course, might be my chance. More likely it will be my ruin. The group was fairly large. They all heard it. It is only a matter of time, until the paladins hear about it. And they already can afford to have an important and strong cleric of theirs sit over trials in the city. They will find someone to watch my every step. Waiting for an excuse to gut me.

    "I have prospered too long, I think. It is time for me to order my things. I have done all I could to help as many people as I could. This will end, one way or another. Mother, I am sorry. I know you cannot hear me, but please, please know that I tried as hard as I possibly could."



  • Death & Beyond

    Darkness was the wrong way to describe the place, it was filled with bright light, or at least the sight was not hindered, yet nonetheless darkness was also the right word to describe the unspeakable horrors of this place. Here, the smallest spark of hope was drowned out by the lingering scream, and with every terrifying moment Elissa spent in this place, it became clear that this would be the place she'd spend the rest of her time. The Barrens of Doom and Despair, the very home of the vicious and cruel deity she served in her mortal life, her very own new home. Her eyes fell on the figure of the succubus before her, idly she wondered if the demoness was even a succubus still, promoted was the word she had used, Lady Doom herself had been pleased, very pleased at what her two servants had achieved, as a team.

    It had all begun when Elissa sensed the presence of a fiend, noticed that a fiend had been bound and was commanded by someone else, acting as a magistrate in Peltarch, and then there had been the short, minuscule opportunity to get her hands in on that evil deal. She simply had been in the right place, almost slain herself, and witnessed how the demoness was sent back to the abyss. As best as she could she had prepared, researched hastily and found the right sacrifice, and then she had summoned the very demon that was now tittering with glee before her. Unsurprisingly the demoness hadn't been quite as pleased as before, and despite some preparations she got out of control, Elissa's Dismissal failed to send her back to the abyss, and before long, Elissa was beaten into a pulp and dragged into the middle of the circle she had used to summon the fiend.

    Death, she had known then that she faced death, clung onto the blackened metallic antler that had served as her connection to Beshaba for so long, given herself as the sacrifice needed to unleash the demoness back unto Peltarch. The pain was only fleeting, a cruel, a vile dagger stabbed into her heart, she had warded against a succubus' kiss, against the life force draining of any demon, against the most dangerous spells that could have snuffed out her life in an instant, and the negative energy surrounding the blade of the dagger did not hurt her, but the blade of the dagger, so puny, so tiny compared to all the other threats, she hadn't warded against, couldn't. She gave her life willingly, entrusted it to Lady Doom, and was instantly rewarded.

    In the distance somewhere far off, she heard a woman's vile cackling as the mortal wound closed and she stood up again, the demoness as surprised as herself. But by now it all made sense, the two of them brought the worst of luck down on Peltarch, and doubled or tripled the pain and suffering that would have been part of the war, the Maid of Misfortune must have sensed that the two might achieve what one or the other couldn't, and thus had made them partners. Neither serving the other, but both bound to Lady Doom's will and whim.

    That was the moment that Elissa realized Peltarch was doomed beyond saving, she had given every moment she could to those people willing to listen, to teach them how to appease the Maid of Misfortune - as there was simply no other conceivable way to save anyone. She had been sent to the abyss to fetch a ritual instrument, angered a Glabrezu, and made hasty, and false promises to it, the very demon that was even now bidding for her soul. She had promised a year and a day service anywhere to the recently promoted demoness and been given a taste of what it means to be tortured in the abyss. Her own bad luck, her own pain, her own despair used to desecrate the new instrument, making it powerful and vile.

    Through it all she had endured, put on a show for everyone, smiling at all the people of Peltarch knowing them doomed already, giving away the last supply of wine and brandy, making sure everyone willing to listen would know how to pray to Beshaba. And then she had done the Maid's will. She had infused the sacrifice with Lady Doom's power and whim, this was a war, after all, and collateral damage had to be done in order to break the enemy forces. She had made her desire known that Peltarch win this war, and hoped that they would, yet always knowing beyond a doubt that the only real victor would be Beshaba.

    Now she stood in the Barrens of Doom and Despair, listening to her former ally, her only true ally outlining the few choices she had now. None of them were really pleasant, and all of them reeked of despair and pain like it would befit the place. And then she knew it was time to ask for her reward, for all these years, for all her life she had longed for this moment and now she asked it.

    "I would like to petition a favor from the Maid, before I make my choice. I would like to see my mother again."



  • Civic Duty

    "Mother, the dreams of your death have haunted me for so long. All I wanted to do was to see you again. To be allowed to see you again. But I knew, when I accepted the antler, when I seized it, that I won't ever. I'm trying my best to make you proud, though.

    "War has come to the doorstep of Peltarch, and with it hunger and pain. It's written in the faces of the people when they look at each other. They wonder who they'll see again, wonder if they don't see each other for the last time. One might die, or both of them.

    "Mother, the most basic principle of peacefully living together has been destroyed. There is no more trust left in the hearts of those that will decide this war. Assassins are loose in the streets, murdering barmaids and magistrates alike.

    "And amidst all this, I struggle. On my own path, trying to help Peltarch fend off the threat from N'Jast. They employ undead, and worse. They carry their false promise of order before them, like a shield for their souls. And it might be order they would bring, yet it is also tyranny.

    "I cannot allow tyranny to take over Peltarch, it must be prevented. And just when I found myself willing to do my civic duty, risking all of myself. Risking my divine trust, the key to be allowed to see you again, mother, just then, it all turns to dust.

    "Undead strike and claim the magistrate that would have me help. So now I've made it my goal to return the magistrate at any price that is necessary. We need that little semblance of order for living together in one city, but it must not be tyranny. It must not.

    "I just hope I will not fail, mother. The stakes are very high and I might lose all, if I win. In the end, the Maid will claim her prize. The only thing I can do is make the necessary preparations, and be ready for it when that day comes.

    "Mother, I love you. And I will see you again."