Zoma- Through the eyes of the Ki Swordsman
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The thoughts Zoma hold during one of his meditation, reflecting bits and pieces of his life and finally deciding to move on through the advices provided by Sister Sara.
_**I feel at peace.
Released from being a prisoner of my past.
The future is free for me to walk on now.
Free man I am now, so long as I remember the lessons learnt.**_
After many years of guilt and unwashed sorrows buried in my heart, I have finally learn to let it go. The past had never chained me, but rather it was I who could not let go of my past. I can finally walk on the path which I had always wanted to: Redemption.
Many spoke to me about forgiving myself as the first step, but I never truly understood the significance of it. I do now and will continue learn to forgive myself as I begin to walk on a meaningful journey without knowing where the end will take me to.
But I wasted many years, many opportunities, countless of unnecessary self-inflicting pain which I could had learn this wisdom without hurting the people I care and even love. They spoke the very same words, but they could not connect to me because I spent too much time on self-pity.
I was a fool, behaving like an immature child. I hurt my beloved Kara, the one who tried to help me the most. I loved her and even now she still has a piece of my heart despite both of us moving on a different paths in our lives. A consequence I will have to face and bear from now on to the day I die. All I wish is to ask for her forgiveness for hurting her so many times, but never will I have the courage to do that.
I regret, but I still have to move on with my life. I love Kara, but I love Ragnhild as well. The difference is simply I chose Ragnhild between the two and married her, but my beloved Ragnhild understands that somewhere in my heart still holds the Paladin I will always look up upon to for without her, I would had chosen a darker path instead. But without Ragnhild, I would had been drown in my despair, seeking for hope I was too blinded to notice and will resort to death.
I ask Ragnhild for forgiveness as well for my selfish heart, for loving two women at the same time.
But from now on, what will my future holds for me?
What difference can I make with this beloved Kara'dian of mine to the world and the redemption I seek?
I shall begin my journey all over again, this time understanding that I am not alone now, but a journey with a burden to be shared with my loved ones and the Guardians I have so fondly look up on them.
I will not walk in the darkness, in circles now.
