The New Journal of Drelan Ashire
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((Lyte did die))
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After math
–---------------------------------------I sit by my ritual fires occaionally looking across the fields at all the dead. Its a miracle jiyyd even stands, but it seems the fight is finally over. We like everyone else took heavy losses. Grano and Grak are considered missing until I find them and I found another member lying on the floor of the healing wonders. Finnius says he hasn't answered the call but will try again. Legion took heavy losses as well. Even Grag fell, but Pete and Lyte seem to be walking at least. Still haven't seen Candy either. I hope she lives and Grag just put her on duty somewhere before he fell. Hopefully will know everyone's status in a few days, not returning to Peltarch until I do.
Rary actually had the gall to ask me if I was an Umberlite and lectured me on how faith is everything to him. As if the mere name of a god could determine someone's worth. If people are umberlite, banite, tyrian, tormite does it matter more than their actions? It just smelled of trying to pen our crew as evil again. We take heavy losses in Jiyyd for not a single coin of payment and we're still a blight. Bloody divine types. Of course the paladin of "good" that I fought beside that let people die for his own damned social status is still dandy, because he might be able to do more good later. Rary merely retorted that faith is "complicated". Priests and paladins never have been able to justify there selfish brethern or mistakes, its always some greater meaning you do not understand. Unless its a god they hate of course, then no matter what you do your scum. Still he cant' be all bad. The fates and gods gifted him with a blade worthy of my old order. I feel it is a good omen, but could be fate waiting to slap my reasoning in the face again. After all .. he did say he wouldn't kill wolf because he could be saved, despite him putting another one at risk. I wonder if it is because Wolf is a Mellikian despite him now being a demon controlled pawn. Does his faith before possession make all the people he burned with lightning or blade not worthy of fair punishment? If people begin to die, or did die and we do not know of it, how many other lives equal his? Must be that "faith" is a complicated matter again.
The citizenry are giong to have a hells of a time repairing the damage but hopefully with all the shared blood spillt, help will come from a far as it did to fight the undead.
Fires watch over the families of those that lost, and the souls that left this realm watching over them where the living cannot.
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Recovery
–----------------------------_Training has been slow. Do not find other crew on leave often and when I do tend to spend more time being the one in charge instead of enjoying the work. Still despite myself knowing that my body has not gotten stronger.. there seems to be more finesse in my sword arm and I've stood with those I admire on the battle field without falling. It is strange it has been so long since I recovered from the illness I forgot how to destroy great things while being weak. Garand would be laughing at me now if he could see me. He'd tell me a battle like anything thats not a matter of the heart is all in the mind, and as soon as you forget that you've lost.
Things have been stressful of late. One I never considered friend but did respect controlled by something that is not him. I at first sympathized with all those trying to help him but as he continues to escape and cause harm I cannot help but think we should strike him from life. Of course his fellow druids came and told me how the thing controlling him falling into the wrong hands would cause an apocolypse that would fark us all, but how many must risk death or be killed in order to prevent a probability? How does one decide how many other lives are worth saving a single? Things were so much more cut and dry in my lands. You do something wrong, your punished without question. There was no leniency. Exile, death, jailing, perpetual servitude all possibilities. In this land its always, but I know they wouldn't normally do this, or I've bribed the right people, or some other nonsense. What about the ones you do not know so well that you leave resigned to their fate?
Makes me wonder if I should just embrace the ways of this land. I've followed the rules of my exile for how long and watched those that did not follow thier punishments or avoided them gain great prestige. Perhaps my flaw was not in following the Lady of Lanceboard, but misunderstanding the rules under which I fought. Power in whatever form makes honor and history, nothing else.
Ah well little time to ponder this, or how in the world I became drunk with ahuge group of people and not remember it happening. Undead are comming, and if Yolande is going to be avenged now is the time to do it._
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Death
–-----------------------------------------I fell to the undead though Corana was able to call my soul back. I expected to find if what I thought I saw years ago was true or not, but it was no thtat enlightening. At least if it was I do not remember it being so.
Instead I woke up beside Locrian weak and shaking. He was soon called back as well. Seems Jiyyd withstood it somehow.. how I do not know but it did still stand.
Thought I could take some days to rest despite the chaos afoot but found the bloody womanizer trying to woe my sister. It was slick and romantic I give him that, but still cannot get his past out of my mind. I set some of his trail of flowers on fire and gave him the standard brotherly warning. He gave me the, oh if I ever hurt her I'll come to you rubbish. As if I've not heard that before.
Went to jiyyd and find out she may already be married to him. Bonded no less. About had a bloody heart attack. Whether its true or not I don't know. I don't think she'd wed without telling me, but she was always spontaneous for better or worse.
I hope the priestess comes soon, I need to train get this out of me.
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_Sister
–-----------------------------------------I do not know why I still worry of this, I said that if she ever regained her memories I would let her go and for her to be free. Still I find myself watching from afar and protecting her when she does not realize it despite her memories having returned. Well mostly. I will never figure out the fascination she has with womanizers. If there is one, she will find him and then be mesmerized by him. Then he'll do something, he'll deserve to get his arse kicked, and I won't for her sake. Is the one thing that makes being consumed not completely bleak I will not have to worry about anything anymore.
I should probably tell Captain what is happening so he can prepare. Yes will require a change in plans, best he know sooner than later. The lass too, that will be interesting. I know how such things have gone in the past and it tempts me not to do it, but duty is sometimes more safe than experience._
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_The smell of burnt hair still refuses to leave. I had traveled south with Pete and my men expecting to fight the ghouls perhaps hundreds maybe thousands. We were so close to lay our trap to kill hundreds of them at once, but we ran into some, either retreating, or returning to their base. We would have been better off setting the trap, instead I listened to the rogues that wanted to find out what passed us just beyond our sight. Was Rary. He stopped to fight briefly, but he soon realized he was no match. The elf is smarter, smarter than any of the undead. He retreated, somehow his gods powers still lie with him though I do not know how he disapeared from sight. We lost him, and switched to generally pummeling the area. I saw the flames dance around his form as the bombardment came. Then I found out why he went towards Oscura…
The bombardment of flaming arrows came striking my crew and those that had joined us at the lines. I managed to deflect most then the fist came, and I knew who the ghouls had taken. I felt myself knocked to my knees. It had to be Tolin, he was the only mage I knew with the power and training to use such a spell. He used it on Captain often in his mock humiliating duels. As he walked around to gloat I could tell my suspicions were true despite the dark mask he wore. I wanted to rise.. just one hit .. would be all I'd need and he would walk no more, even if he lacked anything vital to still hit. I had no choice but to, otherwise my whole crew would probably die. But my limbs they wouldn't move. Felt just like in the past with the poision corsing through my veins, the world spun. Corana to my left suddenly froze turned to stone and Candy though I didn't see by what was knocked down on my right and close to death and bleeding on the snow. He walked over and wiggled his fingers and the pyre of flame rose from her body to the sky, I cursed his name and strove again to move but nothing happened. He tried to kill me with the worst of my memories.. I saw the ghost, recognized it before it entered me, had seen other mages do the same. Pity he did not know I've no memories that have not already haunted me for years to be contorted against me. I struggled to rise, the dwarf was soon learning that I was not the common warrior and I had to strike then but my head still spun from the bloody fist that had smacked me down. Again he cast a spell and it failed. He then finally figured out how to truly down me and I saw his visage change.. grow taller with blade in hand and I prepared for the blows, at least mentally. I felt the fire through my armor, almost as hot as when I was birthed the armor being pounded into my skin as I fell and blacked out. How in the hells did they get Tolin? Surely they ran into the same problems we did. What was his weakness?
Somehow I did not end up a ghoul. By who's grace I do not know. A small group evidentally had come up from the south and wisened up to the fighting and ran. They scraped us off the ground, raised the dead, unpetrified Corana. Tensions where high and Corana and one of the druids began fighitng, it did nothing but escalate. Hopefully its handled now. I will hold to my duty, but I have no wish to add more enemies at the moment.
All the crew are now well and nursing their wounds. Corana is angry more than anything, Candy too. She has never dealt well with such things. I am glad she lives but I knew that when she told me she would be back after "contemplation" I was not going to see her for a while. Probably lock herself away in some room for months with books that make even I go crosseyed and study and focus trying to make sure she does not fail again. I wish I could find her to convince her that sometimes loss comes no matter how hard you fight it, and sometimes you do not have time to prepare, but I would be a hypocrite. Even now every night I look over what notes I could gather from others and the now vague visages in my mind, trying to figure out how to crush the enemy. Getting your head beat in is not good for the memory. The ghouls only grow stronger, they have killed some of my closest friends, the bastards will learn the power of the flame. For once we may deal with an enemy where strategy will do no good, only raw.. brute.. unhindered destruction that continues all the way to its source._
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Descent
_Drelan saw the icy frost coat the undead as Fadia's scimitar ripped through it. One more dead, who knew how many more hundreds to go. They had already killed 63 from where they started their journey to where they now delved. He was impressed Fadia and Lilly were holding their own well, just not well enough and now was not the time for practice. Fadia had gone looking for Rary and Drelan and Lilly had tagged along. Drelan thought she would go someplace that Rary was last sighted, but no she had been certain that they would be elsewhere. So they had gone splunking in the caves surrounding ormpur, and they had found a nest of undead. Each time a horde jumped out of the nearby streams or cave pools they slaughtered it. Eventually they were forced to retreat but they had come right back to look some more. Drelan could remember Fadia saying, "but we aren't dead. See they do not really want to kill us. Rary must be controlling them. He wouldn't want to kill us." It was the first time Drelan wanted to choke her. When they had retreated they were about on their last legs, his sister needed help to get to Ormpur for stars sake. He wanted to scream, "PURPLE! you would be dead if Sis hadn't about killed herself saving your sorry arse! NOT EVERYTHING IS A SIGN! SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST LUCKY AND YOU THANK THE BLOODY GODS THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.". Of course thats what he wanted to say, wasn't what he did, and later would have wish he had. It wouldn't have worked, but it would have made him feel better.
So yes they were now plummteing yet again into the depths following some hidden tunnel they had found behind a waterfall. Drelan was doing his best to sight any traps, but he was no trapper and Lilly accidentally set off the one he did find. They had been lucky again, it wasn't one of the powerful ones the undead had used to keep Dwin, just a mere minor gas trap. Not having any trappers,clerics, or mages they had unfortunately been reduced to breakign down each door one at a time and slaughtering all that was within. Drelan knew it was a recipe for disaster. Sure mass rushes do work, when you have the number, not a mere three. He made himself heard several times but they didn't listen, not that they ever did. He laughed as he remembered someone asking him to lead a mercenary group. Lead? HA! Occaisionally he came up with something good but to get someone to follow it was completely different. He couldn't even convince one of his closest friends and sister to turn back. Of course he knew why they didn't. Lilly was there for Fadia, and Fadia was there for Rary. Somehow she had always seemed close to him. Drelan knew it was a grasp at desperation, and somehow he did not want to give her up as a friend by knocking her unconscious and dragging her out by her feet.
They finally came upon a door they heard a sound from. A scream of course and being the valliant heroes there to save the day they busted in slaughtering some ghoul barking orders to some undead ogres that were killing people as some sort of sport in a crude pen. The ghoul didn't even have time to finish his last order before they were upon him and the ogres were busting out of the pen's gate in an attempt to stop the attackers. The ogres fell but too late. All they found were dead.. and the human excrement from where they had evidentally been there for sometime. Drelan felt his stomach sink. If these prisoners were here, it meant there were others, and even if there weren't Lilly and Fadia would be sure of it and there was now no possibility of turning back. He could not knock both of them unconscious. As they went back into the hallway he muttered a prayer to the Lady praying that she would give him the insight needed to get the whole group out alive, as reason had long since died to determination for most of the party.
As they entered the other room they found two cells. Each with a commoner in it one male one female. Lilly tried to bash open the bars with her singing flail, the bars resonated and shook sounding like badly tuned forks but withstood the onslaught. They'd have to find the key if they wanted to free them. The prisoners were sweating badly and one woman had very long grey finger nails. Drelan knew the disease, and so did Fadia. Could they be saved? If the fates were willing. Lilly and Fadia talked to the prisoners, Drelan was mainly distracted in passing out water, when he heard the words he had been dreading. "Their boss has the key" The male prisoner said.
Drelan quickly called out, "boss? What was he? What does he look like?"
"He's a blue ogre of sorts."
The hairs on Drelans neck rose. Blue ogre?! That meant only one of two things, it was one of those blue brutes that tore into the most legendary of warriors, or it is one of those blue brutes with spells that tore through a small group of legendary warriors at once. He pulled Lilly and Fadia aside to tell them they had to leave, yes the people needed to be saved if possible, but them dying wasn't going to do any good. They needed more force. he was met with the single reply, "You can leave if you want."
Leave.. there was a good idea. He could hear a familiar voice lecturing him, "yes leave, let the idiots die while you live. You know what your old path brought you." But was he to leave his sister to die? and one of the few that had sheltered him when all had left him to die? Drelan sighed and followed them into the hallway, steeling himself for whatever horde they might find next. He had held out single handedly against small hordes, just maybe Tymora would smile upon him and he'd be able to hold the "boss" long enough for Fadia to use her magics upon it.
They came to a split, Drelan could see the end of either side. One had to lead to the "boss" if he was here as there were no more branches. Lest one was hidden behind one of the doors. They picked one randomly and he placed his ear to the door. He heard nothing. They decided to open the door,and find out what was behind it as was all that was left to do. The door opened then he saw it … a horde. At least three times larger than anything they had faced on this trip. could he shut the door maybe? Make it away?.. No no the rest would charge and.. hells the horde saw them. The next few seconds were that of a mass of undead flesh running like bats in flight towards the door. Drelan flung himself head long into undead trying to stop up the doorway but despite how fast he slashed, they found a way around him, and some broke through behind him and the two women charged into the main room. From there all chaos broke lose. Drelan as hard as he tried lost sight of the other two, and every where he turned there as just some undead trying to flatten his helm, or the sound of some ghoul trying to eat something and failing as it bit down on his armor. Then he saw it.. a different one. It was one of the ones they used for a messenger.. strong.. fast.. soon to be smited. His blade found home and it soon fell. He had finally felled enough to catch a glimpse of the room briefly, he saw the other two.. they were on their last legs and no doubt diseased albiet also surrounded with downed undead but Drelan knew they would not last long. He had tried to treat them all best he could, but his healing supplies had long run thin. He yelled and hoped they'd listen to him.
"RUN." Drelan turned, the doorway was behind him, all he had to do was run there. He felt himself hit something cold and almost spongy. Undead. He didn't even bother to try to buy enough time to kill it.. he simply shoved.. very very hard. He could hear some of Maythor's finely crafted plates squeak together as the undead finally gave way topping over only to be trampled by the weight of a man in full plate. Lilly and Fadia were close behind, being followed though. Drelan drank a potion and slammed one of the tag along undead into the walls. If he could just slow them enough to make it to the entrance, it would be enough. He then broke way and tried to catch up as more undead came pouring into the tunnel after them. The running felt like an eternity though it was only a minute or so, all lucky not to trip. They saw the entrance from whence they came and right as they came upon it, Fadia gave out a tired grunt and fell over.. dead.
Drelan cursed silently, so close and the gods couldn't even give them one more moment. He saw a ghoul leap for Lilly and how she somehow blocked it and slew it. Really quite amazing in itself considering how much like the fallen elf she looked. Drelan quickly forced the last of his herbal remedy past her lips. And she grabbed the fallen elf and hauled her out, yet another amazing feat given her state. Drelan looked behind them. No more undead.. at least for now. He stumbled out and helped his sister carry the elf to Ormpur. Lilly was still sweating profusely, the herbs seeming to have no effect. He frowned, he'd have to see what he could do once they reached the long abandoned Fuzzy Ale Inn._
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_Reunion
Over the past few days I have met several that I thought I would never see again. First was Fool, still his usual confusing, though humorous self, though a bit more agressive than usual. Seems he recieved his vision back though I'm not sure if I believe his tale, but can one ever be fully sure of truth with Fool? Then he gave me a muffin, that may or may not be enchanted. I was almost tempted to give it to Fine's boar to find out, but decided against it because I bought it for a gift to make up for the lack of a trip. Rather pitiful really, but all I had available. Seems my trip home will have to wait, violence has been occuring more and the crew needs me, and this is my home of present.
More strangely, I also had a reunion with my sister. She's younger than I now, though she remembers little. I am still not fully sure she is not a demon here to kill me. Why would she return? Supposedly I was lectured on happy she was in the afterlife. It makes little sense why she would return, and if I was right, would be beyond her power. I do not know why I still strain my head to understand the metaphysical. Come to think of it I should probably leave her to fend for herself, or perhaps mold her a new. Would be a way to free her of all the Sharessan influence, but alas I cannot bring my heart to do it. If she is my sister she deserves better, and if she's here to kill me at least its before Sharess can try to torture me again.
The ship calls, I have to make sure its ready for the morn, and seems I have a sister to check on in the morn. Hopefully I'll be able to walk the fine line between vigilance and duty._
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_Things are finally starting to look up. Contracts are rolling in again, coin flowing, fighting's improved even if the training has gone utterly to the sewers. Found myself shouting like the men in the last brawl. My teacher would be rolling over in his grave. I can almost hear his voice scream, "QUIET DOWN YOUNGBLOOD AND FOCUS! FIRE DOES NOT SPREAD RANDOMLY!" Ah well, I held my own beside Kara so I cannot complain too much just have to remember what I have been forgetting of late.
Captain even returned from his trip. Was nice to see him roaming the fest hall of nothing but mages and work the room though he had not an inclination what it all was about. Was like the days before he became so damned bitter. But he eventually returned to his mood of late, albeit not as bad, so perhaps is a sign of improvement. Still I cannot help but toy with the idea of slapping the hells out of him. If he would stop running, I think his mood would improve by far. Is becomming like everyone else. A time for everything, planned in advance and then it passes and you act because you're "supposed to". What is so wrong with drifting until things feel right? Enough planning has to be done on the batlle field, for crops, and stars know what other tedious acts no reason adding to it. I have to get his arse back on the ship, land just is not good for him._
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After some worn pages the journal seems to pick up again.
–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------_"Death, failure. Two now dead. One by choice the other taken by the damn ogre of the one that leads the undead. I wasn't fast enough. I wasn't strong enough. The whole world seemed to reel in slow motion, all limbs ineffectual in a moment that seemed an eternity though was probably only a few minutes. I could see her stone form knocked down as Grag and I wailed on the creature, trying to distract it, trying to down it. So close, just one good strike into its neck and it would fall. It did, but not soon enough.
Desperately I tried to get her to let me help her prepare, to arise from whatever lybrinth she went to before, but she would or could not tell me much. Instead she seemed to just find me odd, was intrigued, and tapped my face and offered me an act, that is the most holy way to honor one. Though the act was never finished, my soul is brought honor by the thought, yet dishonor as I was not fast enough. The fight was not even ours, taken by chance upon the Norwick gates. She was there before I, and I can hear Corana's lecture now, but it was my duty to protect.
Three now to mourn and honor, the list always growing. How do I honor one I knew so little of personally? It seems every task could be either good or bad. Reason would say it does not matter, for she may not even be there to judge, but honor is given by respect not by force. Until enlightenment strikes me, I will watch over the flame mere steps from where she fell. Perhaps the smoke will find her and let her know the words that can become the basis of dishonor, yet far better than oblivion, "I'm trying"."_
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Lermonian blinked as the snow went up around him, and cursed as he saw a fist descending into his face. He felt his nose crack and down it came again and he blacked out as he was preparing to curse.
How long was he out? He didn't know just knew his nose throbbed badly as his eyes finally opened again. As his senses came back to him he realized the room while cold was much warmer than the place he had been, and he could swear it was moving though he didn't know if it was just his head. After a while he he finally realized the walls was made up of a series of curved planks. He was on a ship, and sitting in the corner watching him stoicly with a piercing blue gaze was Drelan, half of his face wrapped in bandages blood having soaked through onto them.
".. YOU TRAITOR!" Lermonian rose his hands as if to make the energies but those had long since been beat from his mind. Drelan merely shoved him down with a single hand. Drelan wasn't the strongest of warriors, but compared to one that spent all his time in books and diplomatic meetings was more than enough. Drelan then simply ran a single finger along his facial wounds as Lermonian looked up at him, and Lermonian finally fell silent.
"What.. happened to your face?" Lermonian squinting as if forgetting his throbbing his nose for a moment.
Drelan didn't answer he just sat down, and watched Lermonian in silence. Lermonian's head waivered and he just blinked confused. There is no telling how long the silence was but finally Drelan seemed to take pity on the young man and merely stated,
"Some things of the past were not meant to exist even in memory. You're on your ship it'll take you home. " Then Drelan went above deck and Lermonian could hear the thud of his boots growing more faint.
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Drelan and Lermonian had walked for three days. At the end of each Lermonian would throw some rocks into a fire made from his supplies then the fire would be doused and he would use the rising smoke to try to divine where the man was he had brought with him to no avail. They finally gave up deciding that the man was either frozen to death or would be starving soon on the glacier. The ship wasn't much further. All they had to do is reach it, then take Lermonian to his ship and all would be well. Still was much walking to do and provided much time for the red chapped men to talk.
"A sailor now?" Lermonian grinned. "I knew you had problems riding horse, but hated it so much you chose the water instead?"
Drelan just shook his head. "I could tell you the story, but you'd never believe me. Hells know this isn't where I ever foresaw my place being. Take one woman as a charge on a favor for a friend, and later find yourself as leutenant a few years later. If its one thing my exile has done has made sure I don't understand where my arse is in relation to the ground."
"You would not be plagued with such a problem if you merely did as the priest instructed, they maintained for their power to interpret and control fate afterall."
"Aye and no one would have been alive to save your arse." Drelan smirked knowing his friend jested. "..Aye I thought it was all rubbish as well. But the more I live the more I'm beginning to wonder if that pain in the arse was a god in disguise."
"So besides things merely being odd, things are not well?"
"Aye.. About as far.. " Drelan stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Did you hear something?"
Lermonian followed his gaze. "No think the wind is playing upon your paranoi-" Drelans arm shot out and grabbed the mages shoulder and yanked hard causing Lermonian to fall behind him flat into the snow.
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snort
Smell? Where?" It shoved its nose down into the hole sniffing. Fire.. old It moved lithely down into the hole and saw the fire that was now just ashe, not sensing anyone but indeed smelling a new smell. It smelled almost like cow dung, but at the same time was far more repulisve. The memory of being sent to hunt its prey came to mind though it didn't have the words to express it even in thought. Its heart began to beat faster its lungs sucking in the cold air at a faster rate. FIND PREY BLEED. It turned and ran back out of the cave at high speed its white hair bristling in the winds that ran along ths snow line.
It would run for days, in search of any sign of what it hunted. It had feasted on several horses before it had set out, it would not starve for sometime, and it wanted to taste what it hunted. It didnt' know how it would taste, but it just knew it would be the best thing its jaws had ever been around.
Two days later it finally found some foot prints near a rock that had not been covered over by the wind. Drool dripped from its mouth at just the sight. It wanted to create a noise, to let it know so that it would run, the kill being all more sweet. Something in the back of its mind told it that it should, YES A NOISE SCARY! . It threw its disfigured head back and threw its head to the sky trying best it could but all that came out was its normal growls. Its hair rose and it it jumped several times, its anger and anxiousness to much for it to contain. It would never understand why it could not make its noise, nor why its instinct was more correct than it would think, yet at the same time wrong. It finally couldn't contain it anymore the adrenaline was too much, indeed nearly everything seemed to create such a state in the creature and it quickly darted off following the tracks ot where it thought they would go its snout twitching furiously trying to catch any sent at all in the barren landscape.
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Sometimes Paranoia is wrong…
Drelan just knew that the hunter would still be out there in the snow, and would return as it saw the smoke rising and knew its prey still lived. It may have very well been out there, but it didnt' seem to eager in comming if it was. Yes a strategy had been made on a given that was proven false, and it gave Drelan much time to think as the smell of the troll dung and Lermonian's blood wafted up to his nose.
He was sitting in cave, in a frozen landscape, getting ready to fight or hunt down some wretched Creature that could undoubtably rip him to shreds. Why? Well he would get Lermonian to the ship, for he had saved his life once, but why was he even thinking about looking for whatever person Lermonian brought with him? It wasn't his responsibility his family was safe, Lermonian had said so. Had he learned nothing? Drelan had in the end always tried to hold true to his word, help who he could. How many wounds had he recieved for others? How many times had he died for others? Fought for the same people that'd leave him to rot? How many times had he agreed to go in far over his head for those that he just considered not an enemy. And yet he makes one mistake two years ago and even some of those that know him closest suddenly thinks he's untrustworthy and only protecting his self interest if anything appears questionable? Of course what they said was his self interest defeated everything he had been trying so hard for two years to create. He could feel his hand clentch. He couldn't blame them the world was a harsh place and evidence was against him, but why was he always being denied the things everyone else seemed to have? Mainly the benefit of a doubt, the consideration of all of one's actions instead of one? Somehow it had become more important than his self honor.
He had tried being good, he had tried being under a code, each and everytime most of what he cared most about fell down around him to one single mistep that he could never seem to recover from. Sometimes with no mistep at all. How many gods despised him now? What would happen to him when he died? Live in peace, destroyed, tortured as minion?
But he had to admit, his outlook on life wasn't completely correct. When things did fall down there was always still a few that had done nothing to him and had cared for him as he recovered. Of course it was the opposite of who it was supposed to be usually. The darkness. All the things that were supposed to be evil and wrong were those that were still there. Was he fighting fate? Perhaps instead of being the everlasting guardian that sat on the mountain watching the town, he was supposed to be the destroyer. If its one thing he had learned that which was considered good could very well just be a snake in the grass, perhaps all was only a difference in perception and propaganda. He could hear Alia nursing him from one of his past drunken spells, "What do you want? You're always playing in someone else's games by their rules."
He wanted many things, but they could not be accomplished alone. He decided that perhaps it was time to start looking for a new ally. He took the symbol of the Red Knight on a metal medallion out of his pocket and rotated it in his hand, listening to the night outside and letting his thoughts roam.
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Drelan tracked the indented tracks in the snow until he found a cave, more specifically fell into one. He had been trudging along thinking twas just an indentation in the snow, when the ground gave way beneath him and he hit the bottom like a sack of flour. He grunted and winced hearing Deacon's mocking voice in his head, "your dead kid." Indeed he'd have been right again, if something had been waiting for him. Drelan test moving his arms and legs somewhat relieved that nothing felt broken though the throbbing wasn't any more pleasant.
Then he heard it, a cough. He looked about and instinctively used his arm to regain his footing. If being a sailor had done one thing, it'd helped his balance and speed. He peered into the dark raising his green ring to light the way. He followed the winds in the cave until he saw a familiar face laying on the cave floor dried blood all over his robes. Drelan knelt beside the man moving his gauntlet lightly against the young man's face. Nothing. Drelan sighed and looked around reasoning that whatever had done this if it was a creature had long since moved on or been killed, predators do not leave their prey. He built a fire with the last of his firewood and oil and examined the man more closely, peeling back the robes to see what exactly the wounds were that killed the man. The wounded eyes fluttered as the cold air hit his chest.
"now .. you arrive," the man's weight shifted slightly, "not exactly living up to legend."
Drelan shook his head. "I fell from that remember. Hold still, nay the best in the world, these are obviously not fatal, would be dead long ago. I might be able to make them feel better though." He sighed and pulled out his balm then pulled a small stick from the fire and blew it out letting the stick smolder. "So what did this too you? Bite marks? Didn't know any animals lived this far up on the glacier."
"I don't think .. there are." The wounded replied coughing.
Drelan reached over and placed the canteen to the man's lips. "Drink, doesn't feel cold enough to freeze it to you down here."
The man drank gratefully and smiled at the small bit of relief.
"So what was what was so important? Made the letter sound like the lands bloody burned to the ground."
The man closed his eyes. "Almost did, but things improved. Almost grew calm as only two barons remained. The occaisional burp of chaos, but mainly stability."
Drelan paused his eyes narrowing on the man. "Lermonian.. that's good news."
The man smiled, "one would think, but danger gets one to come so much more quickly. Even brought someone to meet you, but he's probably dead now."
"Dead?" Drelan's brow rose. "Thought you said things were well."
".. were until whatever.. beast found us. Was going to let you work your magic on him, find out some things to help matters stay the way they are.. But are camp was ransacked and he went running. The monster attacked me before I could react. Was the strangest thing. Went right by my little prisoner. I finally chased it off, but I didn't fare to well."
Drelan sighed. "The tracks ended here, and this cave doesn't seem to go much farther."
"or perhaps you followed them the wrong way. " The man chuckled until the pain kept him from doing so more.
"Or was a hunter." Drelan rose to his feet suddenly wishing he had brought his plate with him on the voyage. He pulled out his shovel and slowly and carefully begin to slide the small fire letting it pick up strength again if the flames died.
"what are you doing?" The man said squinting at him.
"Using you as bait." Drelan said as he looked up through the cave entrance seeing the smoke from the fire finally rise through it.
"Nice thing to do for one that saved your life."
Drelan smirked. "Let you die old friend? If that's what I wanted would have killed you already."
"But I know how my father trained you."
Drelan just nodded slowly. "As I said.. I'm fallen remember." Drelan looked around wondering what would be better. Hide in the cave or find a spot outside to observe? And then there was the chance, that nothing would come. After all, could have really been an animal, or if it was something more, perhaps twas only the prisoner it was sent to free. He took the cloths he had used to clean the blood from the man and stuffed them in his clothes. He then unpacked his blankets and tossed his fur cloak at the wounded man's feet. "I'm borrowing your robe."
"… I'll freeze."
"I'm not leaving you down here naked. " Drelan put his hand on the man and rocked him forward then pulled the robe up until iit came. "Besides you've pants." He then packed the blankets and cloak around the man and put a small dagger in his hand folding his fingers around it. "Just in case my paranoia is correct."
"I think I know why there aren't many of you left now."
Drelan just smiled giving no reply and walked back to the entrance of the cave hiding behind a one of the small openings that went no where and pulling out a bag with an unpleasant odor and rubbing a brown substance all over his clothes, and as he finished he sat down pushing himself against the wall to be out of sight and waited.
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Just as he thought the cold could not grow anymore so, he stepped upon the deck and found out quite otherwise. The journey had been rough, but he could not sleep anyways. Mind and another thing he didnt' want to admit he had currently were too busy doing other things besides resting. He walked over to the boarding deck, and without turning to the toothless captain spoke,
"Nay leave.. Remember my word, you keep doing your end, you will continue to be contracted. Twould be hard for me to pay you such wages if I was dead aye?"
The captain merely smiled and waved his hands dismissively as he often did, "You hurt my heart. I thought we were friends now?"
Drelan didnt' answer, he knew they were only friends as far as his coin would take him. He merely walked off the boat the winds blowing the snow across the landscape wondering what his future held.
–----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Four days, always walking. Most would have slept, he should have, but something was missing. He did rest several times a day, taking time to biuild a fire with the precious material he had brought and preparing a meal. One of these times he sat on his pack, his gaze finally moving from the fire as he pondered his location. Barren and snow covered, not bad for a town he thought. Use some farming techniques of some certain grey skinned dwarves and one could be free from the world and just live out their days.
But then he caught site of it, out of the corner of his eye a path of tracks. Perhaps this place wasn't as barren as he thought. He gripped his blade instinctively as he rose to see the distance better. What animal or person could live in a place where food of any sort seemed so rare?
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Drelan heaved the pack over his shoulder, as he walked up the boarding plank wrapped in heavy furs. The old friend had beckoned him again? Was the news good? Bad? From the letter it seemed bad, but he didn' t let his mind get the best of him this time. He peaked over his shoulder as he finally reached the ship. He hadn't told anyone when exactly the ship was leaving, yet somehow he had hoped that someone would be standing there anyways.
It was a small ship though familiar, the captain that was missing a few teeth turning to him, "Yet another place on a mule's backside this time?"
"…I already told you where, when I paid you remember. And aye.. back to the mule's backside."
"Paid me hrmm.. I don't remember any coi.. " The captain then waved his hands chuckling, "No need to toss me arse overboard! Just givin ye a bit of sea humor! "
Drelan was staring at the man in his usual, completely stoic... yet something in the eyes look that seemed to make most back off. He wasn't in the mood for jest so much to be fighting for here, and yet an old crime calling to him that refused to be delayed.
"Just nay distrub me unless we're assaulted or we reach the destination aye? I'll be down in the resting quarters."
The captain tried to crack another joke but Drelan was already heading into the ships belly. He missed Gears already.
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Thirteeth Entry
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_"Past and PresentIts been a while since I've seen my love. I wonder how she is now that the phase has changed. Not that she'd let me do anything to help. In any case, the road has proved enteraining. Orcs, ambushing bandits, and of recent a undead. Has been years since I've fought such beasts, the last time my blade finding them in the Norwick Crypts, as I tried to hold back the horde from my brother, that would not run a minion to his past memories, all the while praying some weakness did not cause the cieling to tumble as my last journey into such depths included.
But I digress from what I should be documenting.
I thought my darker urges had passed after I recovered from the illness, but we found an "informant" that tried to sell us information that could potentially save Jiyyd from a necromancer. He bargained 500, and I threatened him with blade, but a Peltarch woman paid him his coin to speak. Of course he did as I predicted, spoke in nebulous statements, then asked for more coin. The crowd finally tired of him and refused, he walked off. I followed and placed an arrow in the back of his knee. One arrow was all it took, my aim has improved much. I placed a sword to his neck and inquiried him how much his life was worth so that I could see if he over or undercharged, considering he placed the life of a jiyyd citizen at about five coin. He merely cursed and I pressed the blade deeper the crowd gathering, yet strangely most not trying to stop me but telling me to do it.
It was outside the gates, Jiyyd law did not hold, he was freely mine. I could have done it, done would the law would not. But in reality it was not death I wanted to bring him but something darker. Nine years since I've even considered performing such act, not since Ocean was captured. I decided not to merely cutting his chest enough for it to sting a while. Did I stop because of the crowd? Because of thought that it was not my right? Some law I had forgotten about? No. Twas cause I thought of Nyda. I knew it when Lilin used it to try to soften my desire to cause the man more harm after she healed him. But as badly as I know she would feel if she knew my thoughts I did want to.
I wanted to break his legs and throw him a few hands in front of some undead and watch him try to crawl away and beg for help as I merely asked him for what price. Too let him see what he was in essence doing in physical terms, to see if it would change him or merely show that he was what I thought him to be. I'd throw him a bit of rope then not grab hold of the other end, asking him for more if he wanted to be pulled. It is all just to make a living afterall isn't it?
Whether I have truly changed, I do not know. Is few that I can speak to about my thoughts, and even fewer that would actually tell me the truth. Perhaps brother was right should disapear to the woods. The cities are not good for me._
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Twenty Ninth Entry
–-----------------------------------------------_It seems it has been several weeks since I've written an entry. Has been quite hard to coincide being awake with not having one of the nurses tending to me. I fear what would happen if they found this journal and read it. Interpreting things from it that were not true. Not that any woman has ever truly understood me, not since Aimee. But perhaps tis only wishful thinking. They have all been well, but there are somethings only of the mind that I do not think even Nyda will be able to help me with. She says to remember my training, yet it is what brought me here.
I am changing. I crave vengence, probably was only months ago but seemed I was ready to deck Rhy and slay the lion or fall dead myself. To see the blood of Sharess's animal once again scattered to the winds as payment for all the pain and dishonor she has caused. All that I had vowed to leave behind to seal, in order for those better to follow came rising up. The senators, the civil war, the politicians, sharess so many heroes called criminals, criminals heroes, those that strove for the laws died for others left dying in corners uncared for. Justice lying somewhere perverted to the side only confused in its practice. The voice are always calling, Bane.. Shar.. Umberlee.. seems one of them is always there to question me.. once all three. I have no answer to their claims, no way to refute what they say. Nyda says it is how they get people to follow them, but I fear it is simply somone of a type finding what they want.
I am not worthy, but I'm beginning not to care. Beginning to think that it is all merely an ideal that something will come to set things right, instead of the world is just built to be insane. Cike doesn't understand, he thinks its the same as the nightmares that plagued him, it may be but I think it different. Too see justice actually served, law actually followed, TRUE law not bribed around or convinced. Deacon would fall faint to know I'm writing this, to risk the reputation of the sails on my own personal vendettas. The priest of shar said that vengence would be had, but yet in the dogma said that I could build nothing. Lermonian used to say the difference between a fire storm, and the one that keeps you warm is that one, has a purpose an end that is not the abyss. It was what always set us apart from the darker orders, they burned to destroy we burned to build.
My body still trembles with the power of the goddess, on one hand powerful, yet weak because I survived it. Is it because I think her weak, or because she seeks to destroy the path I've always protected. I don't know and is where my true illness comes from.
Selune, Nyda has become a better mother than you can imagine. Should see her care for Not and the others. If I do change my path, do not worry I will not let your work, and her mother's work, or one's true wishes blinded by love be drown beneath a man's folly.
Some paths must be traveled alone._
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Twenty Eighth Entry
–---------------------------------_"Ashald The Puzzle
I traveled with Ashald and Nyda through the tunnels that lie under this land in search of metal and adventure. I still have not learned my way about them yet but I'm sure it will come in handy when I do, a captain must be prepared. Captain. Now there's something I'd thought I'd never possess. Of course I jested of owning a ship one day, and the captain accused me of mutiny in his old age, but I'd never actually planned on it. Yet now I basically am. I hear the talk of the goings on of the docks in the senatorial debates and wonder if I should take us in a new direction. No, Deac is still the Sails and I should endeavor to keep it true to his image. He is my leader, mentor, and friend when all else left me to rot I will not destroy his work instead merely grow it into something that will hopefully draw out his arse from Cormyr more often. Tis been hard though, nay many actually shipping things, I will have to start planning voyages on my own coin just to get people used to it again.
But I digress. Ashald, Nyda and I traveleled through this tunnels and an instability occured. Nyda wanted all by the water, and I let her do so as she is normally wise even with the suspicion in the back of my mind that it was not the safest. But as hard as I try, I am still no leader. She tripped and fell in and her plate drew her to the bottom as I knew it would. She almost drowned because I moved so slowly. Ended up using Ashald as an anchor for the rope while I went down after her. Funny, I was ready to die if need be, and was pretty sure I would. I doubted even with his God's strength that he would be strong enough to haul us both up so was going to tie the rope to her pull her up, hoping my plate was enogh to keep me to the bottom as it was passed back down, which it probably never would be. or so I thought. In my experience the Ashalds, are an interesting beast to deal with, and it is no secret he's sought the heart of Nyda, would have been easy to leave a rival to drown. But I suppose now we'll never know. I have the better sword arm, so was going to have Arien carry her out with enough invisibility potions for both if needed. It wasn't, her mother appeared and took her somewhere safe. Must be nice to be able to watch over those you love from the grave. Was always rumored that those in my old order achieved that one day, though of late I've considered it rumor or at least not in the sense of physically appearing.
Aaron has strangely tempered, become more kind. I do not know if it is the senate race or actual truth. He doesn't act like it is his place to rule the world as much, and if it does still exist I'm not so sure he wouldn't try to overpower his family, an arrogance that if exists would be much benefit in trying to keep the senate from doing past crimes. But he is a politician, and it is a world of deception more subtle than any sleight of hand, I thought Roland was good once and I had a rude awakening. I will have to watch him carefully, always keeping in mind that a friendly or good gesture isn't always actually so. Perhaps the Lady has made me too paranoid.
Ah well I've drawn on too long I have a ship to prepare, tis but a pleasure voyage but I've rather grown to like the spray of the water amongst the winds._
