The odorous gnome's drunken tale
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(Overheard in a Tavern somwhere outside polite civilization)
fingers an empty ale stein, conversing with a tavern patron Haw! Yeah, you don' say? Yeah, well I'm not from around dese parts either. Came down wit a bunch o' Gypsies not too long ago. Travelled all da way from da Spine o' da World.
Wha? NO, shakes head emphatically, tempers rising I ain't no dwarf, dammitall! Can't ya see? I'm a full head…ah...stouter 'dan a dwarf, see? holds thick stubby arm up high over his head I'm a Rock Gnome, me. Come from a small minin' outfit called Smugmugger. Dey named after a fella what thought he could get away wit robbin' us. Heh, now his bones are decoratin' da gate inta town.
to the barmaid Wench! Where's me next round? back to his companion Aye, dey drunker than da patrons o' dis place, mark me.
So yeah, around those parts I was chief cart loader. In charge of quite a few skinnier-type gnomes, on accout dat if dey gots stuck under a rock, I could lift it offa dem. looks up at barmaid as she slams another ale down in front of him, sloshing it into his lap Eh now, miss! Lousy...
Aright, so where was I? Oh yeah. So we don't gots much ta do dere in Smugmugger. Some card playin', donkey racin', pie eatin' an' da like...but den a guy like me gets board wit all dat, so I starts a fightin' match tournament. Got all da good scrappers in Smugmugger to join, I did. Yep, got all dem spindly miners ta bet on us too.
gulp ah...So den o' course when da dust settles, I'm da only one left standin' Dey all sayin' "Aye Zesty! You da winner! Horray for Zesty Bub", and da like. So den I'm bare-knuckle champion o' da Spine, far as I can see. So I takes my winnins an' link up wit somma dem Gaji ta travel da lands an' earn me fortune. So dere we are...hey, fella! Wake up! I'm done talkin'! kick
//written by TheWheel78 as "Zesty" Bub Bilmfrin
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Reviewed - XP Pending.
