3. The Grand Adventures of a Redhead

The Grand Adventures of a Redhead

  • V

    Since her search for a personal chronicler that is a bard that would follow her around and collect all the grand adventures that come her way, Red-Haired Warrior also known as Zet or Cee decides to keep track of the various quests she undertook herself. So she can be seen buying some paper and ink and later spends a lot of time, trying to figure out how to draw the various letters. After only a couple of hours, she comes out of her room, smiling brightly and waving about the following short story.

    I. How I came to Own a Cow
    Already I have met many Great Adventurers and even seen many Dangerous Monsters, but unlike the orcish Warbands that keep trying to attack the Peaceful Town of Jiyyd, this story took me to the Far Away city of Peltarch. This Far Away City is a sight already, it has Houses that are as Huge as some Hills and around the City there is a wall with many Towers that go as High as a Wizard's Tower. If You think you have met strange people elsewhere, There you'll meet more and stranger People. In my Tale there will be a Wolf, some Trolls, a Magistrate, a couple of Paladins, a few Bards, a Apprentice, a Bathing Peasant and of course the Cow.

    It all Began when i was asking around among the people in Peltarch about Grand Adventures. Most of them said that they had Enough Adventure already and I would Certainly find it "Here And There." At First I didn't believe them, but Then I met the Magistrate, which is someone to write Huge signs full with Laws and look after People to make sure they Follow the Laws. I told you They have Strange People in the City. So This Magistrate tells me How they have Seen some Trolls that are Eating Men and Do Worse. Frightful Creatures that are Really dangerous and He says that he would like Me to Find some People capable of Tracking the Troll to its Lair.

    I thought about that for a Moment, because I had Heard tales of the Nasty trolls. How they are evil Creatures, Twice the size of a Grown Man, wearing an Ugly Brown skin covered in big Warts and of how A Troll can eat a man with One Big Bite. Let me tell you that their Warts are brown and their Skin is green but they are really as Tall though they do walk bent Most of the time so they seem not quite That Tall. Despite this I Think that One Troll can not be That Bad really and so I say "Yes, I will do It!"

    So the Magistrate tells me to go Speak with This Apprentice who can do really Powerful Magics but hasn't yet Earned the Right to wear a Properly Pointy Wizard Hat and he Says that he would Give us help. I just Have to find someone To Help me and Who would be Better to Help than a paladin Knight? So I ask these Two Paladins Sir Lord Knight Riel and Sir Lord Knight Merum and we like Are made Invisible and Extra Strong by the Apprentice, then we Like go to the Foothills that are Near the city. The City has Hills inside It but the Foothills are not Inside.

    When we leave the Gates of the City behind there's a Trail of mangled Kobolds ahead of Us. We think we're Lucky because The evil Creatures are all dead Already and not By Weapons but smashed and Torn Open and some are Half Eaten. It is Clear to Us that this Must be the Work of the Dreaded Troll, so we follow the Trail of Bodies up a Small Hill and there we See It, standing Below us, Stretching to full Height and the Sucking sound It makes as It Drains a Kobold of More than Just Blood makes Me shiver in Fear, so I press Low on the side of The Hill, Hoping that it Will not See us. But the Paladins charge Fearlessly at the Troll, Hoping to defeat and End the Life of the Evil beast right there And then.

    But the Dreaded Monster is Not as stupid as we Think, it flees Into a cave and we go after It. Sir Lord Merum charges ahead, while Lord Knight Riel stays with Me making sure that I am Safe. So we descent Down into a Deep Hole, some Kobolds torn Apart and some Cleaved apart littering Our Path. Before we Meet the Troll again, we Find Sir Merum engaged in a Fight with some of the Scaly Kobolds. Lord Riel and Me help him Beat the remaining Few and Their Blood turns our Armors red and makes Us visible Again.

    As we go Deeper we Find some Huts and a small Lake underground, so We look into the Huts and that's when I get locked in One and only through sheer power can the Paladins Break Down the door. But the Sounds have Drawn the Troll to us and now It stands there, Looking at Us and wants to Eat Us. Again the Fearless Paladins stand Before me, Glaring at the Troll and Threatening Right Back. That's when the Troll suddenly Starts offering us a Bribe So that we Let it Live and I think we Might yet come out Alive. But Knight Merum Refuses to take anything He insists on Killing the Evil Monster. When He is Just about to start Hacking the Troll into Little tiny Pieces, that's when Another appears.

    Suddenly there's Two Trolls and the New one wants to Eat Lord Merum because Knight Merum is a halfling and not Much Taller than the Kobolds. So we try and haggle for Our and Merum's lives and Finally Come Up with the Idea of Offering them A Cow, if they Do Not Eat Sir Merum. The Two Trolls become Very Agitated as They Start Arguing that A Cow would be Enough for Both of Them and not barely Satisfy One as a small Kobold does. They Still think of Sir Lord Merum as a Kobold. That's When Knight Merum Strikes out and Cuts off the Arm from the Troll that was Holding him and we Start Running for the Light of Day. The Troll come chasing After us and the Wounded Troll even Has Regrown the Hand! Before we can reach the mouth of the Cave we have to Cut through many Kobolds which is Very Frightening and Dangerous because not far Behind we can Hear the Murmuring of the Trolls!

    Maybe You're wondering when I met that Wolf, but of course After Our Narrow Escape from the Trolls' Lair we made for the Safety of the City and recovered from the Shock. But then We realized that we had to Bring a Cow to the Trolls. Sir Merum was busy with Other Duties so Only Lord Paladin Knight Riel and Me were Available and We thought that we should Train Bringing a Cow to the Lair because there is Often Many Kobolds in the Foothills. So we Asked Ordwel, A Bard, to come with us so that We would Have a Proper Song or Story of this Adventure and He Said he would Come. But We still Needed someone to Play the Cow, so We asked this Woman who Later Turned out to be Really a Wolf.

    At First she Turned into a very dangerous looking Boar but she Behaved like a peaceful Cow, which Was at First a bit Confusing but then It worked pretty well. So, we had made the Proper Preparations and went Once More to the Foothills, but as Soon as we Pushed the Gates open, we see Many discarded corpses Of Kobolds and a Troll comes Walking to us. Since I was leading the Cow by a rope I was in the back, together with Ordwel and we were supposed to Like protect the Cow from harm. I wouldn't have been able to Stand up as Fearlessly as Lord Riel, but he Showed not the Slightest sign of Fear and Held the Troll in His Glowing Gaze.

    They argued About what to do and the Troll then Said that Sir Knight Riel wasn't to his Taste and it Came up to me, stood in front of me and I almost Dropped my Sword because the Troll stank so Terribly. Maybe I would Have Run but in One hand I held the rope to the Cow and the Cow was frozen in fear. And I couldn't really Leave the Cow to this Troll. That's when the Troll grabbed me and lift me up from the Ground, opening its Huge Mouth and I thought It would Like Bite my Head off. But that's when Lord Paladin Riel and the Bard Ordwel Stepped in and Cut the arm of the Troll so Fiercely that I fell to the Ground. Hurriedly I crawled a bit Back, Pulling the Cow with me.

    Now the troll stood There, Glaring at my Saviours and breathed its Awful breath on them. Unimpressed Sir Lord Riel stood Tall and Told the Troll that it Had been Very Bad and that It Should Learn To Behave. For a moment I doubted Lord Riel, but then the Troll almost Started to Cry and went Off muttering about That it Will stand in the Corner. Hurriedly we went back and the Wolf turned back Into a Human Shape. We talked a Bit and Explained to Tiera, that was the Wolf's name, about Why we needed a Cow.

    That's when Sir Lord Knight Riel had to depart and hunt down a Demon and I was left alone with the Wolf. She was so nice and friendly and told me that we could Right Then go and Buy a cow. So we went there and we Met this Farmer who was Taking a Bath and he Sold me Cow for a few coins and then we Took it back and Tiera said That I should milk the Cow and so I did. I still wanted to Give the Cow to the Trolls but then Tiera said that a Cow deserves a Better Fate than to be fed to trolls and she Helped me bring her To Jiyyd where I live. And that's how I came to Own a Cow.

    Edited the title

  • V

    Spending most of her time in the Fighter Academy these days, the red-haired warrior who now borrowed the names Melody and Findl Agarlina also moved to Peltarch. This is where she sits down, one evening after classes, and pens yet another story of an adventure. Partly to get her mind of other worries, of all the monsters and demons and devils and people that have lately been trying to hurt or kill her. As she writes this story, she often glances to her pack, a bright smile illuminating her face then. As she's finished, much of the seriousness and the darkness that had settled into her before is gone and she's happy and smiling again.

    IV. The Naming of the Strawberry Queen
    This tale is very weird, it tells of strange creatures, of dust, and of glowing people, of forests in the middle of peltarch, and of frightened halflings. Like so many adventures lately seem to begin with business propositions, this one did too. There was no secret plan developed, no terrible monster sighted, all i did was offering a friendly merchant my help.

    Likely this is not the beginning of this tale, instead it all began in a far, far away country. It was a dry year there and the people that lived there all went hungry. So they looked around and searched and wondered and then they discovered a terrible witch had cursed their country and even as they sat there and discussed not only did their land wither but also did the people, they grew smaller and smaller and finally were no longer able to tend the crops on their own. So they went out and looked for other people. They were always very fond of berries and so each decided to look for one particular kind of berry, hoping to find the one person that could bring back their berry to the cursed country.

    And so the now tiny people each walked in a different direction, each knowing their intent, each knowing they would succeed. My tale is about the one that would bring back the strawberries to this far, far away country. She had traveled far and wide, faced many dangers, but also met a nice wizard that taught her how to fly and some other tricks. And then later she tricked a dangerous manticore into giving up some magic sand. But all of this is another story and i am not telling it here, i only speak of what happened when she stumbled through a portal and ended up in the middle of a cold and snow covered pass and then the first sight was that of a woman with red hair and wearing an armor with red marks on it.

    Of course she thought this must be the person she was looking for and so she flew up to the woman and tried to tell her so, told her of all the trouble she had gone through, told her that she needed to come with her to the country. But the woman who is me and her companions a mighty apprentice and another powerful fighter did not understand the words of the far, far away country and so she could just fly around them telling them of the sorrow that had befallen her country.

    Because the merchant had asked me to find such a person and lock her up in a jar i thought it a strange occurance that this tiny person would settle in my pack, making a home between all the weird things i carry. But the tiny person of course only wanted a chance to convince me to come with her to her far, far away home. Since i didn't want to lock anyone up but the merchant obviously wanted to do that i decided to find someone able to speak to the tiny person and i found a wizard who could. It was him who told me that the tiny person loved strawberries best and that i was truly the strawberry queen.

    So i emptied a jar of strawberry jam and let the tiny person settle in it, making her very strong with one of the weird things i have picked up during my travels. And then i went to see the halfling merchant and i told him about how this tiny pixie had turned my friend into a statue and that was how i was able to catch her and i thought while there was still strawberry jam in the jar he would be safe. And then i handed him the jar while the lid was not very fixed on the jar so the tiny person could easily jump out. I pretended to go but didn't go and i watched but the tiny person didn't come out so i stood there for a moment longer and then she jumped out and waved at the halfling and the halfling screamed and ran and ran and i felt a bit guilty for scaring him so but he wanted to lock the tiny people up so i didn't feel guilty for long.

    It was only after that that i learnt i had to go with the pixie to the far, far away country and help bring the strawberries back to it. But since it had been so long, long ago the tiny person didn't remember how to go back, she had become lost. But luckily we one day met little poor leila who is also a little person and she made the forest come to the stony ground of peltarch and because the big sister was watching she was made to glow bright pink so she would blend in with all the wonderful trees and the flowers and the butterflies and the mushrooms. And then i sat down and wanted to dig small places and plant the strawberries but because leila had withered as the place they had come from her magic wasn't so strong and it wasn't really the forest she had brought and the ground was still stone.

    So now we're trying to find a way to this far, far away country but also know that there's hope and we will find the way, and then all the berries will be returned to the far, far away country and there i am the strawberry queen and rule over the strawberries and decide that they will grow all year and be bright red quick and taste so very sweet and good and then the tiny people will live happily ever after.

  • V

    Having become more and more intent on becoming a well reknown adventurer, the redhead can be seen taking more notes and writing small, short stories of what she perceives as her adventures. So one day, she can be found her fingers all black from ink and holding another collection of papers in her arms, while a bright smile has settled on her face.

    II. Dancing with A Bugbear
    This is not a Very Long Tale but since It has me still Wondering I will tell You about It. Slowly I am beginning to Learn How to Use a Sword. It is sometimes Interesting and the One Time I want to tell You about was Very Exciting and Dangerous. Maybe You have heard that there are Many Nasty and Evil Creatures in the Rawlinswood. One Day a Few People said They wanted to Make the Woods a Safer Place and that this would be a Grand Adventure so I came Along with Them. There was this Really Huge Man named Fung who is also a Bit Fat and then he had Asked this Quiet Woman who claimed to be a Druid but who doesn't Have a Green Beard who gave Her Name as Silinia and this Other Man who Wore a Helmet and gave Us Blessings.

    It is Dangerous to Go to the Rawlinswood because You have to Go through the Town of Norwick that is Infested with Bad and Evil people although Some are Not. But right at the Entrance there is This Evil Mage with an Eyeball that Sucks Your Soul out if you Look at it! But we Went by Unhindered and Unnoticed and Made it to the Trees. As You might Know there are Always these Pestering, Little Goblins in them That come Storming at You and Try to Kill you. Together We cut us a Path through them, leading Us into The Woods Proper. There, the Goblins become Tougher and Hurt Us for real with their Nasty Branches and Their Maces and their Small Stones.

    But then We hear a Big Din coming From Behind a Thicket and We Carefully walk around the Few Trees and there We already see One of the Small Goblins flying Past Us. When we Finally Turn Around the Corner there's a small Group of Really Strong goblins there. One of them Wields a Dangerous Looking Axe and some Stronger armor. Silinia Charges right into the Group and I after Her. I Just manage to Dance out of the Ways of all Their weapons, But Silinia gets Hurt and Finally she Withdraws and makes Her own Wounds Close, By then There's not Many of the Goblins still Standing. And while I Dance out of the Way of the Nasty Goblins axe, my Companions Take it down, Fung splits its Skull with A Thrown Axe.

    But The Fight is Not Over, then! It was Already exciting to Dance with That Nasty Tough Goblin, but Now From behind a Few Trees, another Horde of Goblins come Running at Us. We think They are Charging, but it is Not until We see the Huge Beast that Walks behind them, Its deep Laughs sending Shivers down our Spines. It wields This Nasty Morningstar and as It sees us, It Swings it in a Huge Arc and Hits a Goblin that Comes Flying through the air, hitting me in the Face. When I finally Get it Off me, Silinia's Wounds have Reopened and The Huge Monster Comes Laughing After Her, Swinging it's Deadly Morningstar to Bring it Down on her Head. I don't even Have Time to Think so I just charge Head First at the Ugly Monster. For a Moment, I Have to Dance to one Side and the Other, avoiding the Thundering strikes of the Bugbear's Nasty Weapon.

    That's when I'm really Lucky. There's a Loud Crack and Lightning comes Down from the Sky and Strikes down all the Goblins that Still live as Well as Hurts the Nasty and Big Beast, luckily I am not Hit! Now The Bugbear Goes after The Man that Has Blessed Us, and now Seemingly Wanted To Help us With this Huge Bugbear Monster. I charged right After the Monster but Of Course it Did not notice me, because with my Sword I did Not Make many wounds. For A While we Ran like this Through the Woods, until I finally Shouted at the Top of my Lungs and managed To get The Attention Of the Mean and Nasty Metal Ball again, I tried My Best to dance out of its way, But It Hit me nonetheless, Luckily I wear Strong Armor And so the Spikes did Not really Draw Blood, but my Shoulder Still hurts a bit, even Now, days Later!

    But Now I am Prepared Again, and While My Companions throw axes and Stones at the Nasty Beast, I focus on the Mean Morningstar and Try to Dance out of its Reach. Occasionally I even Manage To see How the Huge Bugbear Leaves Its side Open for an Attack and strike at it, and It slowly Begins to Bleed on the Ground. But this Only makes the dangerous Beast More and More angry. I have to Move Faster and Faster to Not be Hit by the Morningstar the Monster now Whirls around Itself while It Growls deeply, and then It bellows at Me. Like an Angry dog. That has me So confused I forget for a Moment to Duck and the Spiky Ball hits me On the Head. The Blow is so Strong I Almost Fall to the Side, but I manage to Stay on my Feet and tumble Dazed Backwards, Avoiding an Overhead Arc with the Morningstar. When the Nasty Bugbear Brings up The Morningstar again, I see an Axe fly Past me And Bury itself in the Monster's hairy Chest. For A moment the Monster Shivers, and the Morningstar comes Not as Fast as It Used to come. But because there's Blood running into My eyes I am only Just able To Block the Morningstar with My Shield. And that's when I strike out with my Hand, aiming for the Ugly Beasts Heart and I stick My Sword right in there And Its Blood comes Pouring out and It mixes With Mine and We are Victorious.