3. Heaven Bound - Kara's New Diary

Heaven Bound - Kara's New Diary


  • _Author's note: I decided that I really haven't put a good closure on Kara Willendt, at least not if you only look at the diary. You would have had to have been at her going away party (or talk to somebody who was at it) to really know how she left. And even then, you'll probably be asking yourself what's to become of her.

    Thus, I shall be posting entries from her diary she started after she left. Mind you, not everything will be revealed right away. Hopefully, this will be an enjoyable story.

    First, for those of you who don't know who Kara Willendt is, I invite you to read the following:

    A Quest for Tyr - Kara Willendt's Diary

    A Descent into Madness - Kara's Crisis

    Visitation

    Lost and Found

    Chibi-Kara Theatre!

    It may also be fruitful to search out stories written by Kara's friends, as Kara is mentioned in some of them. Plus said friends really have great stories to read!

    On with the new diary!_


  • _"Kara," called out the goddess of magic, "we need to talk."

    "Yes, Mistress?" The young woman sighed as she closed her diary and turned to her mentor. Mystra looked over Kara. She genuinely liked the flame-haired woman, she had a good heart and a strong mind. She wanted Kara to succeed at what she needs to become. Unfortunately, part of Kara holds herself back. Something needed to be done.

    "You still keep a diary?" Mystra asked as she walked over and picked it up.

    Kara frowned at Mystra, "Well, yes. I find it hel-"

    "You shouldn't," came a quick reply, cutting off what Kara started to say.

    "But-"

    "It's quite foolish of you. Do you realize what could happen to you if the diary were to fall into the wrong hands? The knowledge of yourself you write would be your undoing."

    Kara folded her arms bitterly. "Wrong hands? Only Maxis, yourself, and myself ever come here. Nobody-"

    "Can you be so sure of that? How do you know that I'm not Mask in disguise? How do you know that nobody else knows of this place? What about Cera, she has the possibility of hearing us, right this second, despite all the shielding I place here. Certainly others could."

    Kara bit her lip, unable to refute her mentor's lecturing.

    "It's not just the danger of it being used against you. Kara, you need to let go of who you were. You cling to the past as if your life depended on it."

    "But-"

    "No, it's time to let go." Mystra snapped her fingers and the diary burst into flame, becoming no more than ash in seconds. The goddess then walks out of the bedroom.

    Kara turned back to her desk, which now only has an inkwell on it's surface. She set the quill she was using next to the inkwell and stared at the empty spot of her desk where the diary once was. Slowly, she placed her arm on the desk, buried her head in them, and quietly cried._

    –------------------------------
    ((More to come, don't fret. 😉 ))


  • Entry 10 -

    I asked her today. Why am I here? Why am I so special? Why do I have to go through all this training?

    And she answered.

    I feel a mix of emotions over what she told me. I am shocked and surprised, yet part of me feels as if I have known this from the very beginning. The knowledge she gave me gives me strength, yet I feel nervous of where my future now lies. My reason for being here is greater than I thought, yet I very much wish I could return to my past.

    At least my odd experiences now have a reason to explain how they happened, such as my being reborn from an ancient soul, myself losing my mind when I lost the amulet Braeth gave me, my ability to communicate with other spirits, the Red Wizard Devon's interest in me and my amulet…

    Forgive me for not writing down what she told me, but I am still trying to cope with it. Perhaps a night of rest will help.


  • Entry 9 -

    It was hard to leave my friends and family after the visit, especially Cera. The way she pleaded at me to either stay or take her with me was too much. How I wish I could stay and be with her, my "daughter."

    And Braeth… I wish to stay with him too. Even if I could stay, I fear he does not forgive me. He did need me to help out with the Yuan-ti, and I regret having to break a promise like that.

    Why did I have to go? All I know is that I have some special power, and Mystra wants to train me to use it. There's gotta be more to this. What is this power? What does she want me to do with it? Why can't I train to use it and stay with my family and friends?

    I can't stand it anymore. I shall ask her tomorrow, and will not stand down until she tells me. It's my life, surely I deserve to know what is being done with it.


  • Entry 8 -

    I can't believe it. Mystra has let me have a break from my training, and she is even letting me visit my old friends and family. Granted, I did collapse from exhaustion yesterday, but to be able to see everybody… it's more than I could have hoped for.

    It happens to be good timing. My little spying on the side has shown me that there should be a festival happening in Norwick, celebrating the defeat of the Defiler back in the first year I lived in the town.

    First, I plan to stop and see Talyna. I know it will lift her spirits to see me. She always saw me as the big sister she never had, all puns aside. Her cheerful attitude was something I missed dearly in my time away from home, it's too bad I had to leave for whatever Mystra needs me for before Talyna was able to get to Narfell.

    Next, I plan to visit my parents, and then back to Narfell to see everybody else. Yeah, I know, it's probably silly to leave Narfell to see my parents and then go back to Narfell. It's just that I'd rather see the people who were close to me growing up first. Plus, all the teleporting back and forth will help get me used to teleportation, something Mystra says I'll be using a lot when I take on my full duties.

    It still bugs me that I have no clue what those duties are supposed to be.

    Well, that's something I should worry about after I get back home. Now is the time for relaxing and having fun with friends. Speaking of which, I think I'll leave now.


  • Entry 7 -

    I know it's been quite a few months since I've actually written anything in this diary, but my heart just hasn't been up to it. It's so hard to let go of my past.

    Yet that is exactly what Maxis tells me I must do. Each day he tells me it. He tells me I'm no longer one of the mortals so I should just leave them all behind and move on. I know there is wisdom in what he says, but it's something that I can't bring myself to do. Jus because it's in the past doesn't mean it isn't a part of me. Our previous experiences are exactly what forms who we are today. And I feel like I'm abandonning my friends and family if I just decide to forget them and never thing about them again.

    It doesn't make it any easier that Mystra agrees with Maxis, though she is less persistant about it. I think she knows exactly what I'm going through. After all, she's only a recent incarnation of a god when compared to the others.

    One question is burning in my mind lately. They say I'm no longer mortal, but then, what am I becoming? Am I supposed to become an archon like Maxis? Or some other kind of Celestial being? It's not just my past I'm afraid of letting go, but my humanity as well.

    I wish I knew the real answer to why I'm here.


  • Entry 6 -

    I miss him completely. Even though he's now out of my reach, my heart burns for him. Mystra and Maxis do everything within their power to make me comfortable here. The bed I sleep in is the perfect combination of firmness and softness, with cozy blankets and fluffy pillows that any person would simply love. Yet I keep wishing for the days when Braeth and I slept in the woods, with his arms around me holding me close.

    I wish I never left him.

    The great tragedy in this is that even if I broke off our relationship with him, I'd still would have had to leave him for whatever Mystra is planning for me. However, then my heart wouldn't be completely alone, as I would know I had somebody thinking of me.

    I've continued to scry on my friends during my free time over the past couple of months, even though my lessons have moved on. Talyna's made it to Narfell, quite a bit quicker than I expected, she must have had some magical aid.

    Braeth also married yesterday, to Lillianna. I decided to watch, and even focused my power to allow me to be there in spirit. I was able to speak with many of my friends, though I think I scared them all with my ghostly appearance thanks to the spell. It was a bittersweet reunion. As soon as Braeth came down the isle, my heart sank. I broke the spell and wept myself to sleep.

    I want to be happy for him, I really do, but there is no denying the fact that I wish the bride was me.


  • Entry 5 -

    I am so exhausted from what happened yesterday. I've already slept many hours more than what I usually sleep in one night. It was a restless sleep, too many thoughts and emotions were running through my mind. I have been once again reminded of the fact that I am seperated from the ones I love and who love me. It weighs heavily on my heart, especially after what I did yesterday.

    For the past week, I have been learning how to scry. She had me start with short distances, like scrying into the next room, and gradually increased the distance until I was soon scrying across Mechanus. She then instructed me to try an even greater distance yesterday. She asked me to scry my parents back on the Prime Material plane. I didn't think I could do such a thing, but she assured me that my familiarity of my old home should make the task easier than I expected.

    She was right. It took some effort, but I was able to look in on my parents. I was surprised to not see them at home, but rather they were at the gate of the village, apparently wishing somebody goodbye. After a bit of concentration I finally saw who was leaving. Talyna Felf, my childhood friend who was always like a little sister to me (in age and size), was setting off on her own adventure. Her destination didn't surprise me. Narfell. She was making a trek to visit me. As I let the scrying fade away, I couldn’t help but feel sad that she would never find me.

    Mystra was pleased to see how I had done and told me to continue practicing and left the room. I was a bit nervous to spy on other friends of mine, but finally my curiosity won. I scryed the first person that came to mind, Braeth. He proved to be a bit difficult to nail down, he was travelling around with Lilly. The two were probably up to some mischief. I have to admit, I felt a twinge of jealousy. So then I looked in on Reginald, he was sleeping. I was hoping he would be doing a performance, I miss his singing and storytelling.

    Then I looked in on Vilmar. He was sitting by the lake south of Norwick. He had a sorrowful look and I could tell that he was missing me. He had told me before I left that he had fallen in love with me. He thought I was an angel sent from above. Even wrote so in his diary which he gave to me. He even became a werewolf to help form a peace with the clan of werewolves so that Norwick wouldn’t get attacked. His reason? Me. He didn’t want me to get killed from it. And here I go and vanish on him. I wished so much that I could send him a message, let him know I was watching. Let him know he wasn’t alone. Without knowing what I was doing, I reached out to him. I felt the air around him shift and spin around him. The little breeze caught his attention and then I spoke, letting him know that I was watching. The wind I created seemed to carry my words. He then looked up at the sky and I swear he was looking at me, but he must have just been looking at a star in the sky.

    I was so startled by what happened that I lost my concentration on the scrying and my actual surroundings replaced the fading image of Vilmar in the woods. I felt a bit dizzy and still tried to figure out what had happened. Did I actually speak to Vilmar? Or was it all a coincidence? A quick glance out the window let me know that I still had some time before dinner. I decided I would do one more scry and see if I could send a message again. I gathered my strength and began a new scrying spell, easily finding the person I had in mind.

    Cera, my “daughter.” By her own delusion, perhaps, but I can’t help but think of her as a daughter. She was so sad, my disappearance had hit her hard. She missed her Mommy so much. Just like I missed her. I concentrated and reached out again, making the air around her swirl like I did with Vilmar. I whispered words to her, telling her that I missed her but I would always be with her. Her sobbing stopped and she looked surprised. Through the wind I kissed her cheek and then floated up to the sky, and told her to again that I was watching and listening. I couldn’t hold back some tears as I let her image fade away.

    The cold reality of the chamber I stood in came back to me. Dizziness, nausea, and fatigue overwhelmed me and I passed out. When I awoke, I was in my bed. I still felt weak and tired, but I tried to sit up anyway. Mystra suddenly appeared next to me, her face very serious. I was suddenly afraid that I did something wrong, that I shouldn’t have communicated with Vilmar and Cera like I did. After a moment she finally spoke to me.

    She was surprised at what I did, but pleased. It seems I would have been learning how to do what I did in a few weeks time. She then insisted I rest and regain my strength, as what I did took a lot out of me. I nodded and lied back down and she walked away. I tried to sleep, but as I said already, it was all restless. I kept seeing images of my friends and family in my dreams. They were all in arms reach, yet I couldn’t touch them. One by one, the images vanished on me, some of them saying something to me as they left. The last image I saw was Braeth asking me why I left as he faded away.


  • Entry 4 -

    Over the past couple of weeks, I have started to get a feel for this power. It has become very tangible for me now. I still don't know what to do with it, but the reality of it has been opened up to me. Mystra seems pleased with my progress. Of course this means that I have new lessons now.

    Before today's lesson, I decided to ask Mystra about my concerns over my faith and prayers. The issue has been bothering me more and more each night I pray and feel my prayers unanswered. I have the feeling she expected me to ask this. The answers I received both saddenned me and and yet gave me some hope and excitement.

    I was correct in Tyr no longer answering my prayers. Mystra says I am no longer one of his faithful. If it wasn't for her next statement, I think I would have broken down and cried after she confirmed Tyr no longer listens to me.

    "Don't put blame on yourself or think you failed him," Mystra said. "He knows that you did not abandon him."

    "Milady, does that mean that… I am now one of your faithful? Are you the one granting my prayer-chant magics?" I asked.

    She nodded and smiled at me. "For now, Kara Willendt, you are and I am. But your new path will not be that of a priestess. You shall become much more than that."

    I tried to ask what she meant by becoming more that a priestess, but she did not answer and instead began my lesson, scrying. I shall find out another time, I suppose.


  • Entry 3 -

    My mentor has revealed who she is. I am both surprised and not surprised to find that she is the Lady of Mysteries, Mystra. I figured she had to be a deity, and if I have some great magical power then it makes sense for her to take an interest in it. But why not Tyr? I am a cleric of his faith, wouldn't it make sense for him to do this too?

    More importantly, why is it that I no longer feel a connection to him? I still perform my daily prayer routines, but it feels like he's no longer there at all. It bothers me that after all the trouble I did to get back into his graces, I still end up away from him. The most perplexing puzzle in this is that I still am able to cast spells. This would indicate that some deity is granting me spells. I know it's not Tyr, and to be honest it does not seem like Mystra is granting me them. Could it be my own power manifesting itself?


  • Entry 2 -

    The past few days have been mostly relaxing, as my soon-to-be teacher has left me alone to become acclimated to my new environment. Maxis, the Hound Archon that has been tending to my needs is a nice fellow, if a bit stiff and serious. I have the feeling that he's not just to be a "butler" to me, but also to teach me about the place I now reside. He's been giving me tours of not only the keep we are in, but the lands around it, all the while answering every question that I can think of.

    It's quite an unusual land, and I can't help but act like a child filled with wonder at the sights laid before me. I've learned that I am on the plane known as Nirvana by the scholars of my world. The inhabitants here call it Mechanus, however, which I think is a perfect name for this strange land. The whole place is a giant machine, really. Gigantic cogs everywhere, all connected and turning with one another. Maxis joked about how awestruck I was, but I could see him smile at my curiosity and enthusiasm as we had our walks.

    While my days have been filled with excitement, I can't help but feel sad at night. My thoughts keep returning to my friends and family that I left behind. I miss them already, as I knew I would. I think my loneliness is greater perhaps because I am but a mortal while around me are Celestial beings and strange mechanical-like beings called modrons. I feel out of place. I wonder if I really am so special that I deserve to be here.


  • Entry 1 –

    I am convinced that Fate has a love of irony. I find myself having left my home and friends back in Narfell as I planned to, but I am not where I was supposed to be going to. While I was supposed to leave to live as an ambassador amongst the yuan-ti, I instead have been brought to one of the Upper Planes. While my leave was to be temporary, I instead will never be returning. I am quite bewildered by my recent turn of events. It seems some destiny of greatness is happening to me, but I do not have any clue what it is. Only questions float in my mind.

    What a way to start out a new diary, eh? I had left my old one back home in case I didn’t return from the Yuan-ti. I left a note with it to give it to Braeth. If he doesn’t want it, he should send it to my family. Funny how my brief bit of pessimism on not returning is actually warranted. I suppose I should explain the day’s events that lead up to this.

    Fishel had decided to throw a going away party for me, to be held in the Gypsy camp. We invited as many of my friends that were around as we could. As I left with Fishel and a few others to go to the camp, we learned that some friends, including Alliance members, has fallen in the bandit mines. We quickly made a rescue mission which was quite successful at retrieving the bodies of our fallen comrades. As we were about to leave Norwick again, the wild magic started to act up, blasting us, and then some bandits attacked! I lamented on how I was being forced to be late to my own going away party.

    Gladly, we did finally make it to the Gypsy camp. Various bards had performed songs, which was something that gladdened me. I especially loved Jenna’s song, and Meril’s. I can still hear Jenna’s echoing in my mind. It’s words fit me so perfectly. After much singing and merriment, I was asked to give a speech. I stood and spoke about how much my friends meant to me, and how important Hope is. I told of how many things happened to me, and because of my Hope, I have overcome them. My message was simple. It’s the one I’ve been saying for many years, “Faith, Love, and Hope will see us through.”

    And here is where things went surreal. A strange rock formation burst forth from the ground, and a pillar of white light shot down from the sky into the middle of the formation, which then crumbled away as the light faded. Standing where the light struck was a woman, who obviously radiated power. I could tell she was somebody not to be trifled with. She spoke to me, asked me if I knew why I always had bad people after me. She told me that I had a power within me, one which others sought. If left as is, somebody would eventually find a way to get at that power, and much suffering would happen. Friends would likely die. She said her associates wanted to destroy me because of it, to prevent such things from happening. She had convinced them to instead let her train me in the power and how to use it so that it won’t be misused. This would mean that I would not return though.

    What she said about me having a power made sense. That would explain that lightning that crackled around me when I was being possessed. The mysterious woman said that was only a fraction of my power. I was all shocked from this, as was everybody else. Coin said right away that I should go, which didn’t surprise me. He always thinks that a person should further their own skills, whatever they may be. Kanen was adamant that I should stay. He told me to ask Tyr for guidance. I don’t think he trusted the woman. I can understand why he didn’t agree with it. I’d be giving up my life here permanently.

    I did think he was right in that I should pray to Tyr for guidance, which I began to do despite the woman saying that I would receive no answer. Her words were right, I clearly did not feel his presence when I prayed. It was like he wasn’t there. This worried me at first. I wasn’t being forsaken again, was I? No, I didn’t think that was the case really. I’m sure that if Kanen knew that Tyr didn’t answer me at all he would be quite upset.

    So I did the only thing that made sense. I followed my heart. I knew she was right. There was a power in me. And here I was planning to go to the yuan-ti, who Call says are evil? What if they discover my power, and decided to take it? As the woman said, friends would suffer, the world may suffer. But if I learn this power and how to use it, then I can make it something good for the world. I can help to bring hope to people.

    Thus I agreed to go with her. I bid my farewells to friends. Hugh gave me a necklace as a going away present. Kanen didn’t like my decision, but he knew it was mine to make. After my farewells, the woman magically sent me to where I am now. She told me to get some rest and acquainted with my new home, and introduced one of her servants who would attend to my needs. I was quite flustered at meeting him, as he was a hound archon, which is a Celestial being. It is now my duty to discover why I am here, and what I am capable of.