Leandro's Journal
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How do you begin? This is funny! FUNNY! Yes, I think capital letters can work. How? In the same way I began? YES! Although probably I’d have to burn my journal first, and that’s like a fundamental flaw. I’d burn it later anyways.
Ha-ha-ha. How to express so much emotion? Words are so silent. Capitals, right? HAHAHA. I can’t shout here. I can’t! But yes! YES! CAPITALS.
HA-HA-HA.
It’s not the same, I’m not even laughing.
IT’S NOT THE SAME.
Not even with capital letters. All this emotion, I can’t.
Anyways yesterday. No, not yesterday. A week ago. No! It was a month ago! This sign:
!
Yes!
Exclamation marks! YES! I’ll make them bigger.
!!!!!!!!!!!!
It doesn’t work either. Maybe I should invent a word.
Anyways. The other day I burnt some dogs! Dog-like people, doggos! They smelled so funny. I used this necklace of fireballs I bought from Buurbie. It burnt me a bit when it was spent out but that was so funny!
No, this is not the beginning. Everything starts with fire. Smelted metal. GOLD. A crazy witch (maybe on drugs as Moody said). FIRE. I mean, it was more like orcs and rust. Rust! The old rusted weapon of my dad. The blade attached to the hoe’s shaft!
His arm.
RUST
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So, I was there the other night, and you know what? Bam. Let me tell you a strory.
I went with Kania.
Wow, ACID. Is that cool? Only if it comes in clouds!
I mean, acid drizzling down the ground. Dripping drops working diligently for the crops,
ain’t it?HAHA. MELT.
I remember someone cut off my coin purse and, oh boy.
OH BOY!
What was that?
Did you like that?
SWASH! Paff. HAHA, look at your arm in the ground DOGGO, I cut yours off with my hoe.
My rusty hoe.
My famy’s arm.
My arm.FWOOSH THEM VIVY!
!
RUST!
Man that felt awesome. I mean, I was once again with no coins, but.
Whatever.
FUN.
I think I’m carrying over ten fireball necklaces. Willow said I shouldn’t burn the doggo’s forest, but c’mon.
I mean, just c’mon.
COME ON
I just want to burn them doggos and maybe them forests in the way, a tiny bit. Not that it’ll get hurt. I mean, there are a lot of trees and fleas and--
R U S T
HAHAHA.
Wait, this is fun.
Wait.
!
R
U
S
T
HAHAHAHA.
I think it was that cloud. Man, the dust. OH BOY, is that even related?
I think so, baby.
Tell me what’s what falls when you hit with a rusty hoe?
RUST.
Bigger now:
!
Anyways, the other day, let me tell you a story.
I think there were like five or six hins.
No wait, it was actually a legion of hins.
Thousands of millions looking for coal.
Kania gave them the dust, I showed them the eye and the tongue.
I think we hugged one or two. Kania suggested. But they were looking for coal.
What a bunch of weirdos.
Yep.
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Above, look!
Hah
Ha-ha.
Ha-ha HA-HA
HaHaHaHaHa-AhAhAhAh
HAHAhaa-ahAHa-HA
!
With all my guts
Height in my arm which I lift
Ye think ye know but ye don’t (Hahahaha). My hoe.Can you
Even
Charge like
I do
Like a PROFESSIONAL!
?
R
U
S
T
HAHAHAHAHAHA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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They are like dust specks. Little pimples of rust came off and mingled in the air with my steps. Maybe they were filtering in my nostrils. They were good. I was home. Then I felt.
What the!? What are you doing!? Don’t smell my ass!
Reeeeeeeeee
Don’t! Hey! Stop that tentacle. My hand!
Reeeeee REEEEEEEE!
!
And suddenly the glowing ring Vivy sold me was turned into dust, mixed in the air.
Everything ends in the air. Even Tetanus is in the air. I mean, tetanus it’s the air. Or the air is my arm? Do I carry tetanus as my aired arm?
I carry.
Was hungry.
Something to eat.
Search my backpack.
Yeah. Dude. Go ahead.
RUST
HAHAHAHA!!!
That fey guardian was history!
HISTORY!
I think it was.
My dagger. Suit yourself. Eat little devil.
RUST
HAHAHAHAHA-HAHA-aHaHaHaH / AhAhAhAh – HAHAHAHAHAHA
At the end, Faelar and Tingly spotted me. Tingly shot an arrow but I shielded it. Took care of it.
It didn’t die. It went away satiated, I guess. I think it walked towards the chasm, deep into the Underdark. I carry since then some tinny metal bullets.
In my hand, there were dust remains.
No.
It was not dust. It was more like.
Yes.
R U S T
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And we traveled so much and so much. Walked through woods and woods. Beaten and stripped gobbos and gobbos – the best. And he was with us: Sketchy!
Wait a moment. That guy deserves a
!
YES! How could you ever forget about Sketchy. Laying on the ground, dripping blood as a dog would pee to mark its territory.
I think Sketchy was an elf of great ideas.
Anyways, he didn’t wait for Tingly to come and tell us what was beneath the cave. And then he rushed ahead. And then we rushed ahead. And then
RUST
FUN!
BLASTS
ILLNESS EVERYWHERE
!
And we woke up in the temple of Chauntea.
I think that was one of the best experiences ever. Like I felt enlighten and really committed to my rust stuff because it didn’t break for real. I felt rusted. Not even a dent among all the rusty holes! Thank you Hannibal for that: my old hero's armor!
Vivy and Moody had to carry us back. They said there was this Minotaur that helped them by eating the gobbos alive, then he died. I only wish I was alive to try and infect the Minotaur with:
TETANUS
I think that would have been cool. I’d would have just hit it then ran.
HAHAHA!
Like that time with the Gnolls. But that’s another story and I should stay focused. Yeah. Because otherwise, I’ll have to remember when my uncle used to tell me to stand still and hold the hoe up front. Or when my old grumpy papa kicked me so hard in the ass – so hard I couldn’t poop for over a week -- then expelled me from the farm and threw at me the only thing that remains of there:
His arm.
My rusty arm.
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Did I write it was the orcs first? I think it was the goblins instead. Or it can be them both at the same time. YES. Because that crazy witch made me walk ALL my way. And I remember it was long. Am I remembering right?
I mean, she was on drugs.
I went out with her once. We went to the hill giants. She was still on drugs. She and I. Madura is her surname.
Anyways, I threw a couple of eggs at a giant. It was so funny.
FUNNY! !!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll put all the exclamation marks I lack. Wait.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!
Okay, again.
Okay. She was crazy and I won a spitting contest. Like that defender was so surprised. Who could have thought of that? I think it was
t
h
e
R U S T
HAHAHA
Okay, let me fill up some lines.
HAHAHA / HAHAHA. HA-HA-HA. HA, HA, HA, HA; HA; HA; H!H!H!H!H!H!H! !-!-!-!-! HA:HA:HA HAHAHAHAHA
Is that a formula?
Fun.
We ran after that. But she didn’t make it.
Anyways. I remember the giants face. I mean, if you remove one eye from them I bet the hill giant had an exclamation mark like this, hold:
!
It was along with an ogre.
I mean, I threw them right to both of its eyes. Maybe they hit in its ears, with a bit of spine I threw them. Or in its entire face. They are just huge. I don’t care. It was fun.
I remember I disarmed some large clubs there too. Like you just need to hook the wrist, then pull it down. Pull it down with your ARM.
Then CUT IT DOWN.
THEN
An arm for an arm.
RUN
HAHAHA HAHAHA
Was it the orcs or goblins first? I think it was the goblins. Or the orcs. What about if they are orcblings, or goblorcs. I’m pretty sure they were like oblorcblings. I’ll call them blocblorblings.
We walked all that road. The place is so far. But wait a moment. We were all together! I mean is funny when you strip all the belongings from a dead body. And there is Vivy, Moody, Fribo, Ny. I mean, you never know what you’re about to find. I mean.
I MEAN.
I had an orc’s ear for months. Then it rotted. Obviously. I had to replace that ear for another, but I bet I’ll see THEM worms again.
Rust does not rot. It rusts.
Does it improve? I think the rust reflects something. Maybe only more rust.
I have a goblin lint stored now. That doesn’t rust or rot. It’s everlasting lint.
But we were all together. There. Together all. Whom we were together all?
HAHAHA
Then Fribo is the shield.
Moody them whips.
Vivy THEM swooshs !And I am the arm.
My arm.
Drops of rain inside a cave falling among the piece of rust. Among them, it drops, a tear of dust just rusts.
It RUSTS .
-
I want to remember… How do you remember? I remember my uncle would beat me if I did not remember doing my morning chores. Or it was my old-grumpy-papa? Or both? Do I need a beating? Ha, Ha, Ha.
The same thing again. I’ll write the mark bigger, hold a second.
!
I feel as if that sign has already lost its meaning. It’s void. Emptiness. Voidism. Emptinessism. Void-emptinessism.
What were they? My chores, yes. Take the hoe and plough the fields, plough them, plough them, plough them. Take the shovel and spread the manure, spread it out, spread it out, spread it out. BULLCRAP.
Boring.
I rather remember anything else. I remember when I stomped victoriously in that troll at the bridge!
TRAMPLED TROLL!
But not that memory. Again, let’s begin from the beginning. Back to the beginning. I remember the witch forced me forcefully to do something after she melted my gold.
I mean. She made me walk.
I mean. I had nothing else left.
I MEAN.
How do I put this?
There was Vivy, and Moody, and Ny, and Fribo! And.
We went and left and I hated the drugged witch.
And I remember. Yes! YES! I disarmed my first orc! HAHAHA, I still remember the stupid face it made. I mean, it was already stupid, but it died with such and more and more stupid face. That’s a rictus, right? But I disarmed it.
WITH MY RUSTY WEAPON.
HAHAHA
RUST
Anyways, we won. They lost. And I disarmed them and maybe they would have died of some kind of rust-infection. It was so cool. My first adventure!
Moody said the magic word:
TETANUS
Or not, my old halberd was not like that at the beginning. The rusty old weapon, my father’s arm. Old. My old-rusty-hoe-halberd. I’m fond with it.
Someone said I was careless with it. As if they knew it all. Rust is amazing!
In the carelessness, my care.
This is funny. Yesterday I infected a few fishes with my serrated halberd. And even when the others didn’t like the idea, I went with them to the Ettins. I’ll call them the two-headed, two-HH, 2HH. Them HH. HAHAHA! The smallest head was the best, it cried in such a hilarious manner when both heads died, like when you kill a pig the morning. My mom used to kill a pig so we all could eat for over a week. It was so funny!
But the beginning. Right. I remember I broke plenty of potions when I trampled on that troll, as it was such an alchemist. But I couldn’t help it, it was my first defeated troll for real! Ryker was there. I also remember how Hannibal took pity on me and lent me a halberd that he said was in better condition.
It broke.
It was not my father’s arm.
My arm.
