The tale of the Beholder Balloons
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The halfling monk known affectionately, and at times, not so affectionately, as Murder-Hin, sits at the fire, talking with those whom she calls her friends, including Buurbag.
"Come, come, let me tell you about the tale of the Beholder Balloons... how I defeated the beholders, the process of preserving them, and where they are now.
It was a dark and stormy night, and I had had enough of people telling me about this dangerous cave with horrific monsters in it that could kill a mortal with a single gaze.
I knew that it was my task, no, my destiny, to go in to the cave, and destroy them.
So, alone, armed only in my robes and gloves and trinkets, I stepped into the dry and warm air of the cave of death, where the eye-tyrants lived.
The front of the cave was no real issue... fake beholders who exploded as soon as you hit them, gauths with their eye-rays... nothing there could harm me. So I dealt with them quickly, and descended below, to the place where the battle would take place.
My body pressed against the wall, I slunk along without a sound... yet somehow, he? she? it?... saw me, and roared, firing its eye rays at me.
Caution thrown to the wind, I bolted for it, launched myself into the air with a leap, and struck the central eye, momentarily blinding it. Its fury was unleashed, its nine eye rays flashed and danced, as I dodged and struck again and again and again, until eventually, it fell silent, dead.
Its allies, another two beholders, died in a similar fashion, leaving me with the oddity of three dead beholders, all of whom were still levitating where they had been killed. I've never seen anything like it before or since...
So, shrugging to myself, I tied a rope around each of them, and walked back to town with the beholders behind me.
Strangely enough, not one creature attempted to stop me on my journey, and the guards gave me a hell of a time. Can't imagine why."
With that, she grins, showing she obviously knows EXACTLY why they did so.
"Anyway, I took them back to Peltarch after paying the boat captain handsomely for his services, and put them on ice at the mortuary where I work, to give me time to work out just what to do with them.
And that's when I got an idea.
Everyone is scared of beholders, so why not turn them into balloons?
First, I went to Spellweaver and asked for their help, as I'd heard that one of the mages there was a taxidermist. But they said they'd need the hides to be tanned and cured first, to preserve them and the float badder.
And so, this is where Buurbag comes in."
She looks to Buurbag and grins
"Your turn."
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FIN
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Merlynna nods to her friend, then picks up the tale
"So after I received word from Buurbag, I went and collected the hides. They were ridiculously heavy; it's a wonder that she managed to do anything at all to them once she had the float bladder out, let alone getting them tanned.
Her work was magnificent, well worth the cost in coin and time.
After placing the float bladders back into the hides to make transportation more viable, I put them in a wagon with a cover over it. Beholders are well enough known that just the sight of them is enough to cause panic in the citizenry, and I didn't want them destroyed by some yokel with a pitchfork.
Hauling the wagon south, I got to Spellweaver and handed them over to an apprentice mage, some deep gnome fellow with a most twisty moustache. He was much happier with the state of the Beholders this time, and told me to give them a few days.
I went to the bar, to wait. Haven't had time off in a while, and even if the alcohol doesn't affect me anymore, I can at least enjoy the taste.
During my few days as a guest at the inn, they made sure the eyestalks and organs would last by getting Gentle Repose cast upon the bodies, and then permancied it, so that it would never fade. They then set about securing the Float Bladder in the right spot so that the Beholder bodies wouldn't float the wrong way up... which isn't as easy as you'd think, as it was the only internal organ left. The rest of the body cavity was stuff with cotton wadding, from what they said, and then through magic that I'm not even going to pretend to understand, they bound both Beholders to a gem, allowing me to call them forth from an interdimensional space or stash them there as I wish.
Finally, through the use of a Sending spell I was alerted that the work was done, so I wandered over to Spellweaver, paid them for their work, and now I am the proud possessor of the Beholder Balloons."
Merlynna grins, and summons one of the balloons.
"Every time I see it, I'm reminded of the battle I had to defeat these monsters, and of how far I have come since I first arrived here in Narfell.
But, the best may be yet to come.
Buurbag still has one Beholder hide, and only time will tell what she can make for me with it."
With that, she raises a goblet to Buurbag, and nods to her
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"When me first got them Beholders, me thought would be easy to do. Me did not know that them was going to be this hard.
First me hads to preserve them bodies while me does research on them. Did no want to mess up Merly's prizes. This would be easy parts. Me just askes Him Who Watches to makes them no rots like deads does. Him granted me times to research ands work.
In mine research me finds out them skins be tough like steels. Will takes special knife to cut. Me askes Liriana to makes such a knife but her not knows what really needs. Her makes me steel knifes but Buurbie has idea to make sharp enough. Me askes Bone Sisterses to make knifes sharp with keen blades. Them does. Now me can tries and skins them beholderses.
Me has skinsed many things, but nothing as hard as theses. Buurbie manageds though. Skinsing no be that bads with keen bladeses. Bladeses no last longs though. Would takes two knifes each ones. Even with magics them dulls fast.
Next is finds them float bladder and takes out without damages. Them beholders by light as long as has float bladder in one pieces. Small hole make them really heavy and useless. Me must pray ands askes Him Who Never Sleepses for guide me. Me askes to make handses steady and mine mind be clear and with no distractionses. One mistakes and thems be ruined. In them darkest corner of them darkest cave me pray.
Me sits on floor and has them beholder close to floor so if me messes up them not break lotsa stuff. Thank them One-Eyed God for making smart enough to knows that. Master Tanners would be mad at Buurbie if breaks table. Me turns it so can get to where them bladder be. Me has book from library show where. Careful me cuts. Little bit at time. Me see them bladders and makeses nervous. Me hand shakeses and me stop. Calm down Buurbie, me says, and closes eye to relax. Me handses stop shakeses and me starts again. Little by little me cuts away them flesh from arounds them bladder. Careful must be when take out. Will makes big boom when hit floors. Me is nervous. Last cuts. BOOM!
Is so loud me dropses them bladder. Lucky for Buurbie it float and no hit floor. No lucky for Burbie it float up to ceilings and me has stand on tables to get downs. At once me blesses them bladder with Gentle Repose so no rot away. Me put bladder in bag with many weightses so no float far. Is good thing gots some nickels with Miss Liriana befores. Them still floatses though. Is kindsa funny to see mine bags all floaty likes that.
Is long day and Buurbie tired. Me goes rest before start second ones. Me feels good though. Maybe this ones be easier now me knows, or so me thinkses.
Next day me starts again. First skinses, no problems. Then takes out bladder but no ask Him Who Watches to guides. That be bad. Me gets in hurries but no mean to. Me pokes hole in bladder. BOOM! Is ruineds. Maybe Miss Merly no be mad at Buurbie. Me is sad ands mad at selfs. How could me be so stupids? So careless? So arrogants? Me has lotsa praying to does. Me will tries again tomorrow. For now must rests and pray. Gruumsh helps me do betters!
Next days is good. Me feels good and them One-Eyed God hears me prayerses. Is a goods day.
Me start one last times. Me skinses them beholders and works on gettsing them bladder our ins one pieces. Mine hands be steady, mine minds clear, mine confidence high, ands arrogance low. Is good day.
BOOM!
Them last beholders crash to them floors. Me holds them bladder in mine hands and me smiles. Praise Gruumsh! Me dids it! Takes long time cleans up each ones but this ones no seems to. Me so happy me only ruineds one ofs them. Hope Miss Merly no Mindses. Now just has to cure them hideses and tans then them bes ready to takes to Miss Merly agains.
Me talks for long times with Master Tanner. We comes up with good plans to cure them hideses. Not even him know what does with bladderses. Is afraid curings might ruins them. Will have pray abouts that. For now will gets them hideses ready.
Curing hidses no be hards just takes lotsa time ands oil because them so bigs. For hourses me rubs one hideses down with oil before can put in smokers. Will have be in smokers for two days to be done rights, at least that be what Master thinkses. Me takes him words for it. Is why him Master ands no Buurbie. Me goes rest ands eats and prays. Me comes back when them hideses be ready. Me wish could does all three but smoker no bes big enough so has does one at time. For eight days me works and waits, works and waits. In mine prayers Him Who Watches smiles on Buurbie and gives her them answers to bladder problems.
A pinch of salt and fifty coppers for each bladder and bless again with Gentle Repose. Rub with oil ands bless agains with more salt ands more coppers. Gruumsh tell three times must does in three dayses. Then put one at time in smokers for three hourses. For six more dayses me works and waitses. Me is all done now. Me calls out to Miss Merly to come gets her prizes.
Her now tells what her does next."
Buurbie then looks to Merlynna
"You turns again."
