3. "Finding a Balance of sorts" - A journal of Leena

"Finding a Balance of sorts" - A journal of Leena


  • _Don't let paranoia win. She says.

    She, of course, being the lady I met only briefly before, here in the commons of Peltarch. Everything is shinier here, including the people!

    So there I was, minding my own business, when up walks this really, I mean like, Elaine level of pretty woman. Turns out her name is Isolde Girasomethingorother. A bardess, of course, and apparently noble too? Another noblewoman Jessica somethingorother (Gods I'm awful with names today, I must be too worked up) flounced her way over, insulting everyone as she came along, claiming we weren't invited to her little party of some sort, a masquerade … but Isolde got an invitation from a "Mysterious masked man!"

    I'd say I'm envious, but I tend to stab those types first, and ask questions later. Life must be more romantic when you're noble... I don't know!

    After some back and forth, Isolde flaunting her invitation, me perhaps charming me way onto the list through the lady's poor abused butler (Monty! Jessica couldn't even call him by his name!), some guards came up to investigate a THEFT! The little piss-addled hare-brained, mewling quim of a misbegotten tavern wench reported Isolde for STEALING the invitation. I may not know this lady well, but I was willing to bet my biscuits ten minutes in that Isolde was ten times the woman this Jessica was.

    10 minutes after -that-, and one guard frisking later since I had them frisk me instead of her, all was well and clear, and I'd made a new acquaintance.

    Today, however, I had news for her apparent Paramour, the mysterious Nathan Wingates. He's supposedly older than MY Dad, but looks my age, and some mutual friends wanted me to pass along a message, so I did, with Isolde there in tow.

    I'm so ... conflicted.

    I passed along the information, and did my best to exaggerate it's importance, especially since it involved my one time friend Elvadriel, who they apparently trust with their lives. Or at least Isolde does. Nathan was quieter, and Isolde and I went at great length back and forth about not only Elvadriel, but the Subject of Great Import that Elvadriel is involved in. I daren't write more details than that because for all I know, parties unknown might kill me and get this journal, and if they do, and it's you reading this, Suck the Balls of a Juggling Ogre!

    They agreed to check in on their friend, but only out of love and caring, and refuse to see my suspicions, despite confirming that yes, Elvadriel is, in fact, a Necromancer.

    Fark.

    They claim she's a Sirion kind of necromancer, purely academic ... but I suspect that there's rarely such a thing. Especially since they said they know that she will in fact control Undead. They can't confirm she won't raise them, nor deny it...

    I'm no Paladin.

    I'm not EVEN CLOSE.

    But that's anathema to a Druid. It's a perversion of all that is life. You want me to accept that as being okay? Alright, cool. One more Defiler, coming right up!

    Alright, so maybe that was a touch dramatic, but where the fark does one draw that line? When is it okay to draw something dead from it's rest, and use it for your own means? Would they feel the same about taking domination of a living thing, like a Vampire? One of which apparently killed Nate?

    They took me into the college, and fed me, and shared their drink. They complimented me on the handling of the vamp situation, and praised my actions and bravery and power and skill. They dazzled me with their charm and beauty, and I admit to having found myself thinking awkward thoughts about the both of them, which made me blush and does so even now, since I knew nothing about myself to that effect, even now ... yet ... I don't know what to do but distance myself and wait.

    They care for Elvadriel. A lot. They want to resolve this all peacefully, and condone her actions, which frankly, they have the leisure to do. I, however, cannot. Control and undead to open a negative energy warded door? Okay, sure. Then put it out of it's misery.

    Raise them on your own?

    I'd best see to it that you never get to again.

    Elvadriel and I were friends, once. At least I like to think so. Was I being played, even then?

    I'd best quit writing about this now before I depress even myself. Apologies, dear reader, unless you killed me. In which case, again, Fark off and die.

    We spoke of other things, like my Gnomish Positioning Scroll. I carried one ever since I could afford my first, and my friends could always find me. Even saved my life, once, having it on me. Now I wonder if it has been used against me. Nate cautioned as much, and even Isolde lacks one, but she said to me this.

    "Don't let Paranoia win. "

    She said that's how the badguys get to you, or something along those lines.

    After I took my leave, I sold it to that magic shop elf in Peltarch, and walked away from it. I missed it as soon as I hit the commons, as I usually check it before sitting down to write like I am now, so I can actively fight the loneliness and find some company for adventure or chit chat ... but now I don't think I will again. I've too much to lose.

    Why do I feel like I've lost something all the same, then?

    There's Alvaniel. I should put this away._


  • _I have a date!

    I was sitting in the Commons of Peltarch, writing a letter, and basically feeling sorry for myself for a moment while I had the time to do so. Yeah, it's pathetic, but my mind has been a traitorous bitch lately, and needs to lay off on the lonely feelings.

    Anyway, there I was, writing away and some people wandered up. Rico, a knight looking fellow, and Labur, the tough as nails dwarf who was with us for our Coldstones trip!

    We all ended up deciding to go for a walk after I announced my intention to do so, and away we went. I layered on the spells like I do, and explained the bit about being a little paranoid, and as i was rambling, a white stag appeared. After a brief question about how much it's pelt would cost… It became a Her. Aoth then joined our walk, and we made it to Norwick unmolested. We spoke briefly about assassination attempts along the way, though, so if I disappear under strange circumstances they know where to go sniffing about.

    In Norwick, we talked of armors and stags and fighting pits and food and drink, and had a general good time. Labur passed out some of his peach ale, which was absolutely wonderful! Belia showed us a beautiful white stag armor, she made it without killing any herself, too!

    Labur is also learning to make axes, and I offered to go try them out with him, to which he replied, "It's a date!" In his broken Common speech, so I guess it is a date!

    First date I've had in a long time, too. Hey, I should wear my special ring!_

    An added scribbled in note reads:

    Note to self, get a bell to put on Hen!


  • _I sit here near that misty pond, sword across my lap. It shines with a blood red shimmer that will never go away. It's my Spirit Sword of Elven Blood. Platinum, durable, and blessed or somehow altered by one of the freed spirits from the elf camp, whenever one of my strikes lands perfectly true, two additional sword strikes join it, as if an elven blade dancer were joining me in the parting of the flesh of my foes.

    Naturally, the group of goblins creeping around behind me is giving me a few minutes of peace while they try to fathom how lightning struck their kin dead as I casually walked past their screaming charging advances… So now that my sword is polished again, I'm taking the time to write and think.

    I haven't seen much of my sister since i got back this latest time, and now she's... Well, busy being pregnant. When I'm not visiting there, I'm out adventuring. When I'm not doing that I'm patrolling about or visiting with the others in the glen, but when I'm not doing that?

    I'm alone.

    I used to enjoy it, but lately the treehouse seems empty. I'll summon Dad's direwolf for company, but it's not the same. I need a best friend or something, and it wasn't til I sat down to think about it that I realized that I don't really have one.

    There's Ras, who is like family, but I don't know that he sees me as much as a friend, more like someone to protect, and like I said, family.

    There's Hen, but she's always "working" in some fashion. And she's distant in many ways. Don't get me wrong, I don't always share my thoughts, but I feel like I sometimes intrude on hers.

    There's Willow, who I haven't seen in a while. My fault, I was gone, but she too has so much going on with herself and her man and her God calls her to distant places like my own calling seems to do to me.

    And hell, this is why I write. The problem isn't them... it's me.

    I haven't stuck around long enough to make these laying relationships...

    Shit.

    I wonder how Artemis is doing..._


  • _The Coldstones.

    They should rename them the ice fangs or something more menacing, I think. NOT that we made it so high that it was too cold to continue, but there was so much danger constantly… That it made you weary to your very core, like something has its jaws around your insides... And all you want to do is fall down in the snow, and sleep.

    Yes... Sleep sounds good.

    No! Gotta write. Must remember.

    Just to GET to the mountains, you now have to go through Jiyyd. Poor destroyed Jiyyd, where Dad first began his time in Narfell. Now it's a shielded wasteland full of demons and other people's memories. I feel like an unwelcome stranger walking through it, and I was certain I was being watched... even as we dispatched every quasit we encountered.

    Labur and Vander led the way, Elvadriel providing magely support, Belia and on druid duty, and Ros and Ginger keeping an eye out for stuff the rest of us might not notice. Aedric was there, and though cautious, made a valuable sword arm as well. Ras was there too, thankfully, as he was the most important part. Aside from being a very capable warrior, he was also our guide.

    I'm sure I missed someone, but the details elude me. Sleep threatens, and I take off running, quill in hand.

    We fought undead Njast soldiers, we fought winter wolves, we fought scores and hordes of snow goblins, and we even explored some extra caves. Only a couple truly scary things happened.

    One, we encountered a Chilblain, which is basically a snake-like dragon in icy realms. I muttered a thanks to Kossuth for gracing me with the power I had prepared, and summoned a roaring stream of fire at the beast, having to hold still in its path to cast it... when with a different kind of roar, its soul seemed to leave it and it fell down lifeless, my fire petering out upon that realization.

    Elvadriel had cast something like Slay Living... or some equivalent, and that fight was over. A Druid doesn't cast something like that without being ready to answer for it, but a necromancer would. All day long. I sigh as I write this, because even as my friends old and new seem to call her friend, that day leading up to our confrontation in the tower still lingers between us. I still know not what to do...

    The other scary thing was that behind the Chilblain, was a ghostly apparition who claimed to be a Peltarch noble looking for a tree. Blah blah blah you and everyone else looking for some tree, pal. We left him with only more questions, and continued our adventure.

    At one point, a quake shook the cave we were in. When I tried to dire bear dig our way out, I got stuck between two rockfalls, and had to get clever. I had an air elemental push my birdshaped self out a hole in the cavern ceiling, then lowered a rope their way... except I had popped up surrounded by snow goblins.

    I fought my own personal small army of them, several waves of then, screeching gibbering screaming slavering monsters set for my blood, as if I was at fault for the cave in.

    Arrows flew, as accurately as I could send them. I could not afford a missed shot . Goblins charged. Goblins cast. Goblins shot. Goblins died. I raised my hands to the skies above , beseeched Talos himself for his aid, and even as arrows scored my armor and some found flesh, I felt that electric tingle of the very air around me taking fire.

    The skies poured forth lightning as dozens of goblins struggled to find their target. "She's alone! " Some must have said. "It's her fault the ceiling fell!" I heard them blame. On they came, and died, to arrow, lightning bolt, and when they got close enough to threaten me, blade. I can only imagine they're confusion. One screaming, growling woman, suddenly vengeful weather, and the ever horrifying "what's that smell why can't I breathe where am I what's happening" moment from my choking powder bombs.

    It was scary until the others finally managed to climb up the rope i lowered for them . Snow goblins are tougher than their green cousins. It was scary how close I came to bring overwhelmed. It's scary how much magic I used on this trip, and how much fighting I still did when I had spent my gifts.

    More than that... it was scary how much I liked it. The struggle to survive, the spray of blood on my skinknowing, that the strike I lashed out with at an enemy I couldn't quite see landed home, and the change in the screams of my enemies changing from a thirst for my blood... to a surprised cry of seeing and losing their own.

    Rule #1 you little bastards. Druids Cheat._


  • _Ros died today.

    She died literally in my arms.

    While we were all fighting a tremendous pile of gnolls, apparently she found a locked up hin, and tried to set him free, triggering a trap. She was barely breathing and badly burned. Had I been there a moment sooner, maybe, it would have made a difference… but I was, at the moment of her scream, pouring a stream of fire onto a demonic gnoll, while his little pals hacked chips out of my stoneskin.

    It had all started innocently enough. Ros , Ginger, then Theaon and some new fella, Aedric all showed up in Norwick, as we were planning what to go do with our day. Aedric needed potions , Ros wanted to see Gnolls, so away we went.

    Boy were they worked up! Ras and Hen showed up at some point and joined in the fight, and it got absolutely crazy. I did, however, remember a trick! Gnolls are a lot like dogs. Their noses are very sensitive! I gathered mushroom spores months ago, lots of them, and I'm quite immune to their effects... so I made plenty of clouds in their ranks and really ruined their days. Sure my allies walked into them too.... And there were complaints about how people hate "bottled Brumir's butt", but it worked out okay. Scores of them died.

    It reminded me of being up in the Coldstones... oh man I have to write about that too! It got scary, and creepy.

    Anyway, we rescued the fella in the cage, people called him Pep? And spent a YEAR dividing all three potions and stuff. At the very least though, I think Aedric got what he needed. I hope Ros is okay. I should bake her something..._


  • _I shot a tree today.

    This is not to say that we're all tree hugging loonies, and I feel bad for shooting the tree. I don't. It was an accident. I feel silly because I'm jumping at shadows. I thought there was someone lurking there…

    Not Shadows with a capital S, but ever since that assassination attempt, I've been on my toes. I feel silly, because people I know are being stalked by vampires, and Captial S shadows, and the like, and here I am jumping at regular ones.

    Sure, I have several friends, but I don't always hang around them. They have lives of their own, and don't necessarily need a pet Druidess following them around. That being said, I -am- trying to make more of an effort to be around other people. Not just to discourage assassinations, but because I think I need it. And I want it. I crave company, these days, and it's surprisingly hard to find sometimes.

    Ras is always good company, but he's got more on his plate than most. He -really- doesn't need bothering. I had started making friends for a while with that mage Elvadriel, but then I hunted a Necromancer, and the trail led to her, and I still think it's her. I still can't trust her, even after we all kept each other alive in the Lost City mere days ago.

    Anyway, all dark thoughts aside ... I got a nice letter from Anna Blake for the circle, it seems she wants to be an ally to us in an official capacity, so I'm excited to tell Fadia about that. AND there's a Stone Circle near Peltarch now, in thanks to the Druids for helping restore that area near the Temposan shrine that apparently got destroyed by a Meteor while I was away.

    Holy smokes, right?

    Anyhow, I'd best go make good on my plan to go socialize. Here's hoping nothing -too- eventful happens today. Or maybe I hope it does?

    Ugh, I'm the worst at deciding these things!_


  • _Sometimes, it's easy to feel like you're not enough.

    Sometimes, you get that feeling that you're not strong enough, or smart enough, or hells, pretty enough.

    Other times, though… You get exactly what you needed. Like today!

    I napped, awoke, and made by way to Norwick, where I found nobody of note hanging about. Spelling up as I normally do, now that I'm apparently a target for assassination, I went south in search of company.

    I found tracks. Dwarf tracks, elf tracks, human tracks, all heading south, so off I went. I hadn't harassed the hobs in quite some time, so I gambled and went through the graveyard. At night. Knowing vampires have been seen about... OK, so it wasn't my brightest idea, but it panned out. The tracks picked up again, and heading east, I found dead hobs, and one particularly mutilated... Something.

    Right. Definitely on the right track.

    Of all the places, they went into the Bugbear mine. Naturally, I followed, camouflage magic in place and a lightning arrow nocked. I found Belia and the rest by that little cave room that looks like a bugbears idea of a library, and when we all got ready to leave, I waited outside.. Only to see a small army of hobgoblins and bugbears marching our way.

    Rushing inside, I told the others, and we barricaded the door with book cases to make a choke point, and no sooner were we finished, then the fight was on! I mainly filled the doorway with arrows at first, (thank goodness for dwarves being short!!) Then managed to snake lightning through the cave and really light things up!

    My fingers were sore, and I was contemplating throwing a spore back out the door to slow down the rush, but Vander was too close, so I opted for some tangling vines instead. They caught him too, but stopped three huge bugbears in their tracks. I decided that was for the best after a huge one got into the back ranks.

    What. A. Fight.

    With some close calls, we made it, and cut down some leader, breaking their morale and sending the rest scurrying for their lives.

    All that, and the only thing that made a huge difference to me, was Ginger, who said, "Hey Leena, I'm glad you were there. " Or something similar, that made me feel good, and needed, and strong. Or maybe it was Ros? One little thankful compliment.

    Sometimes , that's all it takes._


  • _As evidenced by my last page, life has gotten interesting. I'm back again, thanks to that nagging feeling every time it feels like I'm missing something that I -need- to be back home for, and I strongly suspect that I'll end up like Dad in yet another way. That is to say, tied to Narfell til the Gods take me, whichever way that happens.

    So far it's been assassinations, and trials, and magic, oh my!

    Upon being back, I've realized a couple of things. First, I've missed my old friends, and the thrill of meeting new ones. Next, men older than my father need to quit having his same trick of looking younger. It's deceiving. Finally … I need to get my damned armor enchanted or something. That was too close!

    I can't say it's been uneventful being back, at least. I even just got back from a trip to the lost city that we four barely survived.

    My wrists hurts too much to write more right now, but I have thoughts to put down here later.

    Now, where can I find a darkwood seed or sapling..._


  • The journal is dusted off.

    The pages before are skimmed through and chuckled along to.

    A new page is turned to, crisp and unblemished front and back, and upon it, three humanoid figures are drawn in simple barbarian wear, and then crossed through in red ink with a light line in an X shape.

    Below it, in the same ink.

    _**Day one of stepping into Dad's shoes it seems, has come and gone. Three Tribesman assassins came after my friend and I who I will not name for caution of this being found.

    I have left a message that many will figure for Bugbear work. Two impaled by the tree near the gob cave at the lake. One hung, as if the tree were a gallows, by his own belt.

    Hopefully the message was received by the intended party.

    If not, I'm sure I'll get to send another soon.**_


  • _Some days, come as tests.

    A simple run near Jiyyd to keep down the levels of bandit activity to keep the hinfolk safe, turned into a battle for my life, and that of Elvaniel. But at the cost of losing the lives of, and not I'm not kidding, Treants!

    What went from a clearing out and general discouraging of banditry evolved when a group of them returned to see me burning their supplies, and turned into finding out that some Fiendish Necromancer Succubi lookin broads had been stirring up trouble, and encouraging them to enroach on a grove near there… where some Treants apparently live at the moment.

    We explored, met them, and they asked for our help, fearing the succubi's true allies, the Minotaurs with their greataxes.

    After some shoving of rocks, positioning ourselves at the gates, and flinging arrows and spells aplenty, before having to nearly get cut down with sword-work, we defeated the main (As Willow calls them) Succubitch, and saved them, for now.

    We were rewarded with a ring each, capable of healing nearly any wound, and the thanks of very old and powerful beings.

    I took a trip into the mountains days before that, and learned the form of a Winter Wolf, and even learned Dire Bear and Dire Tiger in the days that followed, with the help of my friends.

    Still, some work I've ended up doing has hit close to home in the best way lately, as I've been able to , like earlier today, put a stop to a necromancer witch in the Rawlins, (It was definitely not the one I've been pursuing.) with the help of a Darien and a new mage to the land whose name escapes me at the moment... yet it could not have been won without her magic. Man, I was playing some serious bait!

    Only a day later, pirates attacked the riverboat, and I was in no mood for mercy. When they made it clear they would not leave without a fight, I cast a line of flames across the deck of their ship as they prepared to board mine, and then summoned the storm upon their heads. I think one got away, but two definitely perished. I -did- warn them.

    Before that, those damned goblins took more animals to that rancid cave, and were turning them, and I barely managed to save a young wolf pup, after fighting a massive beast champion of theirs, mostly through creative use of darkness and trickery to deal with the goblins themselves.

    I brought the pup to the nearby wolfwoods, and was met by a creature unlike any I have yet met. He called himself Germourk, and was able to speak, somehow. Not uncommon among magical creatures, but I had thought him just a wolf at first, though a thoroughly large and scarred up one.

    He took the pup, at least, and I went on my way, feeling good about his safety. It's a good thing I patrol those caves regularly now... trouble seemingly does not rest within them.

    I wonder what the next day will bring!_


  • _I have an awful lot to catch up on today. The skies are clear, then Glen is quiet, and a good meal has me feeling fine. It's a good start for the day, so it only makes sense to record that yes, sometimes I do have a quiet, uneventful start to the day.

    I think I'll go backwards this time, to try to better keep track! I -could- just … you know, do better about writing WHEN things happen, but I've never been very good at punctuality.

    So first, I am still monitoring those caves.

    If Elvadriel IS the Necromancer, I doubt she'd be dumb enough to keep causing shenanigans where I can easily find them, and therefore her, but you never know. Plus, I can tell she's been avoiding it because there were still mushroom spore pods to harvest! HAH! Mine.

    I was in the middle of checking out the room with the cage doors, Fayt at my side, when I heard really heavy footsteps thumping up the ramp to me. I grabbed Fayt and huddled down with him while a big hairy giant lumbered up, sniffed about, and said something about finding dinner.

    Well, I know better than most that the sense of smell doesn't often lie, to I stepped out, and told him that he would find more here than he could bite off, and to leave, and live.

    Naturally, he didn't listen.

    The fight was on, and Fayt circled around behind him, while I brought lightning down through the ground to flash through the cave (Which is blinding by the way...), and took him on with arrows, then my sword, from the front.

    Apparently being zapped, bitten, shot, and slashed at is a shitty dinner date for a giant, so he fled.

    A hungry giant.

    Fleeing.

    Near a town.

    Uhhhh, yeah. No. I chased his ass down, and a bolt of lightning met his body just as an arrow struck home, and he went down in a charred heap, his club bouncing away to fetch up against the wall, never having gotten to tenderize his redheaded dinner plan.

    Oh well.

    Let's see... the day before that was ... the rescue! That was an entertaining one, and adds a +1 to the list of unsuitable characters that would show an interest in me, following the current trend. Is it a Druid thing? Or do I just radiate that "I'm unattached, proposition me if you're at least 1/2 monster" vibe? Fark.

    A caravaneer was wounded near a dead Gnoll in the road, and thank Mileikki we were able to save him with a little bit of careful removal of the dagger in his guts, and some properly applied healing magics. They'd been ambushed, totally wiped out save for him, and their supplies raided and taken away, despite the Gnolls not getting what they -really- wanted.

    A Woman.

    Of course, dammit. Well, partially since I fit the bill (No not really) and mostly because those insolent whelps needed to be taught that they could keep their hole in the woods, but messing with people on the road means death, I went into their woods with a pretty tough group. Allestro Hollins of Illmater, and Chaevre, currently advisor of Norwick and obvious necromancer (Thought she claims she won't raise her own undead ... which I doubt but hey), and Soyokaze(?), an elven monk of all things were with me.

    With Fayt added to the group, we stormed in there, and found undead Gnolls waiting, and cut them down as we went. It went mostly well til the caves, when we also got our asses handed to us by not one, but two Gynarchs, and a few assorted othes. Allestor and Chaevre are both very powerful, but good at conserving said power, even when it makes for closer-ish calls, apparently.

    We murdered the hell out of the critters, including a male leader, like a Gynarch but more magic inclined as well as physically powerful, a Bauloo. Then we found the demonbinder, and I got his attention away from his ritual with a giant lightning bolt for him and his two closest pals. They share well, it seems.

    A tough fight later, we were packing bodies onto a makeshift cart, which I turned into a dire bear to pull, and off we went, making sure to take a guard shifted rest before we went out, since I predicted that there would be trouble waiting with all the noise we made.

    I was right. I -also- hate the taste of Gnoll, and should remember that for the future. Pulling the cart meant either shifting back every time I had to fight ... OR just mauling the everloving FARK out of whatever was stupid enough not to run from a godsbedamned dire bear.

    Seriously. Yuck.

    The caravaneer paid us generously, and seemed grateful and eager to get going home, to Damara. His name was Thadeus ,and he seemed a nice sort. Sort of average in many ways, except for how well he took the healing process of me ripping a dagger out of him (I DID do it as gently as I could but...), after he managed to kill a farking gnoll, and clearly telling us what we needed to know rather than be a gibbering wailing mess.

    Seriously, brave guy.

    I asked him to pass a message along to any Druids in Damara that he came across, that I'd love for them to visit if at all possible, and bid him farewell. I hope he makes it.

    I got haunted again.

    I was sitting on Heroes bluff, letting my feet just kind of dangle off the edge, and thinking. There's a lot to think about these days. The Dwarves and their fight, the stupid ghost girl thing, the Druid circle, you name it.

    This day, I just wanted some time to sit, and I think I was even about to write, instead of putting it off to, ya know, today, and then I hear the giggle. It's her again. Sorry, "Her" , seeing as how she's literally just a magical illusion.

    I talk to her a little, she makes the same boring threats, and when I called her out on it, she turns into some kind of gigantic pit fiend, climbing up to my portion of the bluff with but a step, and looms over me, anger visible on it, asking if I doubted her power.

    I casually dug into my pack, unfurled a scroll, read it, flicked a hand, and cast a dispel at it's feet.

    The angry half-fiend, half little girl shriek sound it made was hilarious, and thankfully, I haven't heard from her since. Which is nice, because I was still tired from the adventure before that, which made me run from Peltarch, through the pass, straight through the Jiyyd ruins, to end up near Ormpur, just to fight ... ahhh, I'll write it on it's own page!

    The Request.

    Ever since my Underdark trip with Raryldor which can be summed up in a few words... "Drow, running, killing, Raryldor, Ghaunttown ... Artemis", I've felt different. Stronger. Calmer.

    During the trip, as I imposed my will upon a Dire Displacer beast bent on feasting on my fact, I realized I could do -more- with it, from the connection I had with the beast, and even as I turned it on the creatures that were attacking us, joining it in the battle, I realized that I had learned something, which I verified once we got out.

    I learned it's shape!

    So look forward a day or two from there, and I find myself outside the Peltarch walls, setting up a small ritual circle to ask the Gods for guidance, or a boon ... when an orc pops his head over the wall, and instead of shooting me, asks me if I want to mate with him.

    SERIOUSLY?!

    I almost fried him on the spot. First the halforc, then the were-rat, now the orc, too? I can't get a man's interest to save my skin, but the interest of all kinds of monsterly folk? Easy, no problem. Damnit all.

    After convincing him that his life would be better spent -not- being a pile of lightning-induced ash, I beseeched the Gods to help me grow my power, to bond my shape to the creatures of the land, and somebody answered.

    Well, kind of.

    A Malar panther, of all things, crept out of the grass, and dashed by me, and right by a far scout, which didn't even see it go.

    The chase was on!

    Past the city, down the pass, through the crossroads, and past Old Lem we ran. I shifted forms to keep up. I drank a speed potion before that to be faster, but I could barely even keep it in sight, til we hit the scar. It leapt into the water, and I followed, in my dire displacer beast skin.

    We dashed through Jiyyd, despite the challenge scream of some winged demon. We weaved through undead soldiers, each taking down a few we couldn't dodge, and finally encountering a gigantic wolf pack, the creature stopped to fight -everything-, me, the pack, and Fayt, and after it killed every wolf there save for mine, I sank my teeth into it's throat, and got that final death-shake in.

    My feeling that somebody had answered or been watching faded, if I had been watched at all, and a lone wolf cry split the night, a pack leader charging at us to get us out of his territory.

    I hardened my will. I put out my hand. We almost touched, and it stopped just before me, sensing my intent, and calming instantly, despite being even bigger than Fayt, and much stronger than the worgs that filled the area.

    He sat still as I calmed him, blinked as I placed my hand upon his head, and I closed my eyes, taking in the knowledge of him, that same familiar feeling I've had before ... and his shape was mine.

    I sent him on his way, and returned home, wiping out every undead, every succubus-witch, and the demon-spawn that dared to fly down at me, til I was once again seated at the bluff, taking a well deserved rest.

    It's been a long couple days, and if I sit here in the glen much longer, that squirrel is going to tell his friends that I have treats, and I'll get swarmed.

    Time to get up off my ass and do something productive. I wonder what's on the menu today?

    I hope it's not me. And I'd BETTER not get propositioned by another monster! Fark!_


  • Leena writes on the back of a page, realizing she forgot to chronicle an event that transpired, and sets to writing.

    _Dwarves.

    I've never been quite sure what to think of Dwarves, since meeting my first couple. Gemli was a terrible first example, the Druidhating git. Dwin was … interesting. He seemed to have thoughts about me starting trouble, but I suppose there's a reason for that, but this was all in the past, when I first started out on my own.

    Now, things are different.

    Between overhearing some things, asking some direct questions, and being in the right place at the right time, I've befriended the Dwarves of Aura Runedar. Just in time for a threat to emerge, too.

    Apparently, they're having troubles down below, and the long story made short is that some threat is bubbling up from below, and they got forewarning, and now they need to stem the tide, or the surface is in for a bad time. There's literally nothing standing between us an a horde of gibbering Underdark crazies but a handful of faces I know, and a bunch of other dwarves, ready to fight to the deaths, preferably of their enemies.

    I've adventured with several of them, namely Igor and Silver, Ragnar too lately. I know them, and Gnarl, and Beourn, and I think most recently, Disa. I know I'm forgetting some names, now, too. I forgot to write about this til I made mention on the next page, darnit! Anyway...

    They're all nice to me, for some reason, which is really awesome. There are some folk who are really concerned with race, and for the most part, these guys are way more accepting than I've ever heard of Dwarves being. Perhaps the people who talk about being excluding by them have never sat and had an ale with them, or went out of their way to say hi?

    Anyhow, I did some scouting with them, and they remembered, so when they set out to explore the Underdark, I went with them, and we found trouble. Derro had been enslaving Umberhulks ,and using them to tunnel at will. This led to a path leading back to the Great Staircase, which I now know how to find on my own, through the Kuo Toa caves.

    Anyway, long story short ... I was wandering out around Norwick when one came and got me. The attack had come.

    We managed to get Elaine and Shesarai to join our little battle group, and armed, angry Dwarves lined the walls and battlements inside, ready to make life hell for whomever came in, and in they came. Up through the floors of their inner halls, their mines, their forge, they came. A screaming, laughing, cackling army of Derro, and Umberhulks smashing their way to our ranks.

    Man were they in for a surprise. Apparently mostly molten metal, "Slag" they called it, was poured down one of their expected paths, and a key-trap was laid out, exploding the arrogant enemies as they got close to it, then the battle got full pitched.

    I fired arrow after arrow after arrow into their ranks, tossed choking powder bombs ,and lightning with abandon, and even had to go toe to toe with a few that broke through the ranks to my line, til somebody could bail me out.

    It got ugly.

    Stone floors can be slippery enough. Blood soaked floors? Floors strewn with entrails and brains and gore from bodies and heads burst like eggs ... well, you get the idea.

    Add in their casters' grease spells? Well fark.

    Disa went down under a pile of them at one point. We all rushed in, but couldn't get to her, and by the time we had hacked through the press of bodies surrounding her, she was gone, and there was no time to mourn. We fought on.

    We protected her body, and the Dwarves fought somehow even harder than before, as other defenders started to fall, and the tide slowed. Some got in behind us, and got choking powdered and lightninged all at once, before getting hacked to death by furious dwarven steel, and their momentum faltered. More hulks came, and only to get obliterated into a spray of shell and ichor, and finally a retreat sounded, what seemed like days later.

    Shrieking laughter followed them out, as they retreated to their holes ... straight back into the mines, where other Dwarves waited. We followed too, and fought on, no time for rest.

    That's when we heard it. A laugh, and mocking monologueing, as some villain told us how the pain and suffering had only begun, and some git showed up in what I'm told was eastlander garb... and with him, a beholder! I backed up, firing arrows all the way, then honestly? I turned tail and made tracks out of there.

    I'm told it was an undead beholder... however the FARK that works, and that Elaine's magics slid right off of it.

    Well hell.

    Sister said she'd find a new way to kick it's ass, and as for me? I had to go lay down, after Disa made it back to our realm with the permission of her Gods.

    Not the best day, but we survived. For the most part.

    Don't worry guys. I'll try to be there again._

    –--------------------------------------------------------------------------

    _It's been a hell of a day, both good and bad.

    I did some scouting, on behalf of the Dwarves, and found guards in the Grand Staircase of the underdark. Had more trouble than usual being unseen down there too.

    There's hobs and gobs, the hobs having some symbol that looks like a Bloody Maggot on their armor … good armor too! Chainmail and the like. The goblins wore a Black Axe on theirs, and the hobs had greataxes. Some Deron fellow went down there with Igor, I found them on my way back, and I made the whole ugly trek AGAIN, just to show them what I found.

    We killed a bunch, and raised an unholy ruckus that sent a small army after us. Apparently they choke easily, so my mushroom powder bombs slowed them enough to let us get away, thank the Gods.

    Came back to rest up in Norwick, and a dire rat went running by, chased by Timmot, and upon further looking about? A veritable plague of rats came out the side of the building, or maybe under it, from their great hall. We slew them, and an angry were-rat with an unhealthy interest in women came after us.

    Talos got his burnt offering this day, and we warned the Herald of the trouble. Hopefully, it's not a sign of Talonite incursions, or worse.

    At least I found a white stag, just after, and led it to the safety of the Glen. Anybody attacks it in here, the golems will paste them. For now, I'll wait and see if Llyran makes his way here.

    I have a staff to give him!_


  • _Being haunted is one thing.

    Don't get me wrong, being haunted sucks, but while it will make me mad, a little freaked out, and all around anxious, there's one thing that didn't bother me until now.

    The little ghost-bitch, who… I now realize is more likely an illusion since holy water and healing didn't touch her, said that "Things are almost ready for you and your friends!"

    My friends.

    Lady, you can mess with me all you want, but there's two reasons not to mess with my friends.

    1.) I would kill for them. I would tear the throat out of a living, thinking, being for my friends, with my teeth.

    2.) Most of them are way more badass than me ... soooooo... good luck!

    I'm still mildly concerned, though.

    On a happier note? I got some goblin grenades, I'm well stocked on arrows, decent on potions, and things are going ok, for now. Sure there's scary stuff on the horizon, but things are alright.

    I don't dare write about what's really on my mind at the moment, so I'll write the other big piece of good news.

    I'm finally a member of the Circle! Staff and everything.

    I'm going to hunt down Marty and Willow's Llama, and see if they'll join me, and help decide which of us should 'lead' it for now, if anybody ... since the Elders seem busy and for the most part, elsewhere. It took this long just to get their attention and let me in!

    Maybe I'll ... hold a festival, and advertise it as far as Damara, and see if we can attract some new Druid blood around these parts. I'll kick the idea over with the others. For now, I feel like I have a project of my very own, finally. Maybe strengthening the circle will help drive the necromancer out of my damned woods.

    If not, there's always my flying, pointy, backup plans._


  • _It's been a busy couple of days!

    I've collected Displacer Pelts, gotten displacer beast armor from Z, even had him re-sew the armor he made into an outfit like my old one! It's beautiful!

    I encountered the ghost girl again … though I think she might just be an illusion, which makes me ... relieved? Not quite sure yet how I feel, but I do know this.

    If she's an illusion, that means a mage of some sort, most likely, and I got some mage killer arrows from the auction, with Sabre's pal Scarlet! I'll be saving those arrows for whoever is behind this ... AND for whatever damned necromancer is messing with the Rawlins close to Norwick again. I WILL find them. I will shoot them with a fancy arrow. I WILL make them pay.

    I'm not quite so bent that I'll make them suffer, intentionally ... but I won't be upset it if happens.

    Not in my woods._


  • _Aaaaand, now I'm crazy.

    Or something?

    There I was, minding my own business, after Peltarch was nearly swarmed with Kobolds! I can't even imagine bloodthirsty kobolds wandering the streets of this city. People would die all over the place. There's not enough guards to cover the people who don't know to get inside and lock their doors when there's trouble!

    Turns out a swamp hag, a powerful one, was mad about people going into her swamps. Now, I get that, I do. But… they're not yours, lady. And attacking Peltarch? Not smart.

    There were a few of us out, including Raryldor, who cast some crazy spell he called "Storm of Vengeance" in an effort to save the poor guards who forgot what walls were for, or who just thought they were putting down some rabble, not a whole swarm...

    Several fell.

    We killed the kobolds, and I threw so much lightning magic around that I still feel like I'm crackling... then once the hag was dead, I beseeched Talos to take her, for his glory, as thanks for his gifts.

    ZOT!

    Just like that, ashes! It was awesome!

    After everyone left though… I heard a giggle.

    I looked around, figured it was some goofy kid out late, and paid it no mind, trying to calm my nerves. The whole brush with Talos's attention again, made me shaky.

    Then I saw the eyes.

    A ghostly figure with burning eyes wanted to "Play" and "Be my friend ... ForEVERRRRRR...."

    Nope! I told her to piss off, and eventually tried to threaten her away, then my chair attacked me! The others seemed to move too... so I raised my hand, and smote them down with a triple bolt of lightning.

    Ha! Take that, ... you... chairs?

    I felt silly when Lisa came over and asked what happened, and though she was understanding, cause let's face it, stranger things have happened here... she still made me pay for them, and warned me. The ghost even pranced around her, SINGING, but she was oblivious.

    I lured it outside where I could fight it without going to jail for a bad case of the crazies, and it left me along. And I looked ridiculous to the outer wall guards, too.

    Well farking yay.

    I quit today, I'll do things again tomorrow._


  • _Oh! Note to self!

    First, try to go every forthnight or so to the mushroom cave. Otherwise, someone is going to beat you to them. And while you're there … dummy ... pay attention!

    Some yahoo either made, brought, or summoned a skeletal warrior down there, one of the badass ones. Restless champions, I think they like to refer to them as.

    I was running willy nilly through the place, and tada! What happens, but I run smack into this boney knight looking guy, who immediately starts attempting to make two of me out of the one of me.

    Needless to say, I kicked it's ass, smote it with lightning, called up a summon, all the usual asskickery stuff, but it still put a hurt on me. I'm no frontliner.

    I need to find out what godsforsaken whacko is making the problem WORSE down here, and take them out, or something.

    For now, I think next time I go down there, I'll leave a note where I found it._

    Leena does just that, too. The next time she visited, she sketched a quick note that read

    **I found your present, and dealt with it appropriately. Don't let me find another, or you're next. These woods are MINE, and things are bad enough already.

    Piss. Off.

    -The Thunderwitch**


  • _This … has been a busy week.

    One scary infiltration of a Gargossan stronghold? Check.

    A couple dozen deadwood trees felled, and almost as many axes destroyed?
    Check.

    A lot of rat and bat meat eaten from cooking them up after hunting for small hides? Also check. Good thing they're snack sized!

    I've started making labels for my friends bags, after doing my own of course, but it's surprisingly hard to learn! I had to busy my mind somehow, though. That infiltration was ... scary to say the least. And I'm no longer too worried about writing about it, since... well, they caught us.

    We had made it into the Gargossan temple of sorts through a series of winding caves and passages, and posed as acolytes, before being "tested" to see if we were worthy.

    Naturally, things fell apart, but not before we got tested, and then most of the others received information. Something big is happening soon, another one of the enemies objectives has been completed, and we're no good for sneakystuff any more, since one of them identified poor Nica as the one who killed a bunch of them, and the fight was on!

    In ... robes...

    Lightning flashed, I got a couple nasty sword wounds, Nica beat some serious ass, and we made it out alive, all of us, after passing their little 'test' that got them near the information. Four or five people died in the test, which was literally being asked if we wanted to stay, and answering questions with conviction. That was it ... and the strangers who tried to back out were casually slaughtered. Like cattle.

    I had to clean the blade of the boss broad, when it came to my turn. With my tongue. It was still warm with the blood of the still-yet-innocent, and I did it without flinching. I mean come on, I tear the throats out of goblins with my teeth when I'm shapeshifting, and they taste WAY worse. Still, I feel sick when I think about it.

    Gah, now I'm thinking about it again, but hopefully now that it's on paper... I can close this journal, and forget about this stuff til the next time I open it.

    On another note, new projects. I'm GOING to find out the secret on my bow, even if I have to sneak into the woods of the Irmunsil alone to do so.

    AND, I'm going to find a way to get goblin grenades before they throw them, so I can collect enough to be useful. I never use my grease or web spells, but I can... because they're flammable!

    Spell, grenade, boom-FWOOSH! What an entrance, right?

    Hopefully I can do better next time. I killed every damned goblin south of their cave... and got one. ONE grenade, for my trouble.

    I am not cut out for this solo stuff..._


  • _Today, was a very good day.

    Hanging about with Ras seems to be a good way to pass the time. There's stories, jokes, food, tips, and best of all … he CAN be uprooted for adventure. This time, it was Ras, myself, and an elf who returned who I had heard about in passing from Dad's notes, Suldin!

    I'm meeting a lot of Dad's old friends, it seems. I wonder if they miss him...

    Anyway, before I get lost on that runaway thought haycart. I should write down where we went, since it was AWESOME. Ras got to talking about Ky, but big white dragon, and Suldin wanted to see something NEW. So, off we went, to the Coldstones.

    I got to drink an ale from the monks at the Order of the Endless Keg. It was SOO good! We rested up there, and continued, fighting the occasional snowgoblin, but for the most part, sneaking about. Wolves gave us a fight, but we handled them as they came, and kept on. I even sketched the keg!

    Past the wolves were some frozen undead I've never seen before… that was creepy, and two of them got the jump on me at some point, and almost took me out. Scary!

    Past some ice spiders, into the goblin caves, more sneaking, more almost getting caught (I'm unseen but I'm not that quiet), and we came across a ritual room, with a bloodied altar, and some -being- trapped in ice. It looked a bit like this...

    I don't know what it is, but I hope it stays there…

    We got all the way to what appeared to be a DIRE POLAR BEAR, and an Ice Giant, and decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and trekked back. It didn't seem as long going up there as it did going back... now I'm exhausted, but excited to see just how far as can go.

    Maybe I can meet Ky.

    Maybe he won't want to eat me for being Dad's daughter?_


  • _Goblins.

    Nobody really likes them. Most folks go out of their way to kill them. I suppose enough of us have lost family or friends to them that there's a grudge to be had… but I admit that I'm a pretty vicious hunter when it comes to them.

    Grudge is too light a word for how I'm feeling now, though.

    I had some hours before meeting up with the others about the newest threat of sorts, and Ras mentioned something about how I was paying too much for choking powder, since he knew how to make it, and would show me where to find the mushrooms it's made with.

    I guess that makes sense. Oscura always has it. Perfect place for mushrooms, too. I really should have thought of that before ... ya know, DRUID ... but hey. You learn something new every day, if you try.

    This way my day apparently, and off we went, into the ruins and into the caves, greeted by the stench of a particularly rank and musty cave. My favorite... bleh.

    We didn't have to go far before a corpsethieving goblin gave us a visit, and then his friends, but we dispatched them easily enough, and got to the first mushrooms. Ras made with the teaching, and I got my first harvest. Easy!

    That really should have been my first hint.

    Easy? Here? Hah.

    The stench of undead became apparent, and the horde burst forth. Undead animals led the charge, and I saw red. Rasuil only saw targets, naturally, and Willow saw a reason to heal, because I kind of lost my cool, and charged in.

    It wasn't too tough, even with the undead bugbear in their ranks... but I'm not very well cut out for fighting undead. I'm just not that strong, physically. Then things got ugly. The tattered roar of a bear, it's vocal cords obviously shredded just from the sound of it, battered at our ears, and we continued on, poor Willow thinking it could be saved.

    No, I've heard that sound before. That was the sound of a creature furious at those that still had life, and at those who took its own.

    I went to go kick open the big door just ahead... and heard air whistle past my ear. Then again, then something hit me in the back, and I spun, finding myself completely surrounded, the door at my back, and sneaks all around me, between Ras and Willow and myself.

    I fought, blade flashing, shield desperately blocking blows where I could, then the door opened when I got knocked back against it ,and there was the damned bear. The dire bear. The UNDEAD dire bear.

    Shit.

    I tried to push past, but the goblins were stopping me, and I got smacked on my face, then battered about like a rag doll. A pale arm flashed in and healed me with Shaundakul's gusts of power, but I was losing... yet there was a flight of birds, or so it looked like ... it was just feathers really, attached to swiftly flying deadly shafts of wood. Rasuil's wood, to be exact. He feathered the goblins, and I finally found room to move, and chug a potion as I scrambled for safety. It was a less than dignified scamper, to be sure, but I made it far enough to regroup my wits, and get back in at a better angle.

    We fought. We killed. We triumphed ... and we moved on.

    The stench-emitting mushrooms clouded everything, but messed the goblins up more than us, especially since I'm immune (Thank you Mielikki), and the other two were inured pretty well, either from strength of will or body ... or from dealing with Brumir after he has had eggs from the Tuck-Me-Inn.

    Seriously, that place should be shut down, or buried way deeper than it currently is...

    We got all the way to an ominous black plinth, near a door of a similar quality, and Ras talked about how negative energy is required to open it, producing a scroll to let us in, after the taunts from the goblin on the other side made it clear that we indeed needed in there.

    He was tricky.

    We got in, and he harried us with spells while his minions attacked, and we chewed through them, but he kept disappearing.

    Not well enough to avoid his eagle eyes, though. I tease him about getting old, but hellsakes, how did Dad ever beat him in a fight?

    The goblin lost his cool, and bolted for the door, which I didn't see AT ALL ... and Ras's arrows found its back just as it tried to open the door ... without the key of negative energy.

    Thunk, thunk! Zap!

    One deader than hell goblin, facedown and sizzling slightly.

    My favorite.

    Willow had Shaundakul help wreck the altar, since I was out of juice, and then I bashed the hell out of it, letting my anger off in a semi-productive fashion... then, the loot. We made a couple thousand gold out of all the rings and shinies in that chest, and I even got a ring to help negate the nasty energy that deaders sometimes have, that saps your will to live.

    Not a bad day...

    Got my choking powders, got some loot, and got a ring to let me try and keep up with my old friends, who honestly, outclass me even more than before.

    Maybe there's hope yet.

    I hope I'm making you proud Dad.

    Time to go see who's about. Maybe Artemis is around._


  • **Find the light.

    _I admit that upon sitting down to write about what's on my mind, I had to re-read my pathetic attempt at writing down what goes on with me on a regular basis before … and I've only written a couple of times. I should be ashamed, especially given how many entries Dad's journal has. Then again, I'm definitely not Dad.

    That last entry though, and the spirit's last words to me, make me wonder.

    Yesterday, I wandered into a left open portal, knowing the tracks that led up to it, and even the lingering scent of a few people I knew on the wind nearby, so I dove in, flew through some tunnels, and joined the group that was necromancer hunting.

    Oops that was today!

    I appeared just in the nick of time too, as Jonni was whimpering about evil spider women coming after him, Elaine was trying to comfort him, and the others were gauging how close a farking MUMMY LORD was advancing upon them!

    I barked some people up, passed out some potions, and stood fast as much as I could in the face of such a thing, and then let the lightning snake down through the small places in the earth that only lightning can find it's way through, to strike our foe when we couldn't delay any longer!

    It felt good, to help. Was that finding the light? That line keeps nagging at me. I should have remembered it at the end... past the monstrous teddy bear made of people parts and human hair. It made me shudder even to look at, but lo and behold ... the group took it on! The fighters dashed forward, I fired an arrow or two, and let loose the saved lightning I had kept just for this... and it ignored them. It came right for the back line. Where I was.

    Caution says, "Back up, keep shooting, trust your frontline."

    My blood says, " Fight, rend, kill, destroy what threatened you and yours. Stop the threat, or at least hold it back!" First, blind battlefury, then cautious recklessness.

    I drew Spirit and the Moonguard my loving sister made for me, and stood my ground, screaming defiance at the giant thing as it charged me, and swiped madly at it when it loomed over me.

    I nicked it, and it definitely knew I was there. Not to self... find a way to get a stronger weapon, or something that helps against undead... because yikes!

    Now I was it's primary target.

    Now I was a leaf on the wind.

    Now Shaundakul, Akadi, blow me out of harms way.

    Now, you are on my time, creature!

    Then, it had me.

    It got me by the sword-arm, and yanked me clear off my feet, setting me back down a few feet away, seeming surprised that it even had me between it's teeth before it accidentally dropped me.

    Those few moments were all it took though, and my bite wasn't serious... the swords of Albryanna, Jonni, Eragor's axe, Lady Ashena's shining blade... then made quick work of the beast once they caught up and flanked it.

    I did my job. I kept the back line safe.

    Was that the light? No, not even then did that sentence cross my mind.

    The necromancer appeared out of nowhere once we reached the end. He had probably been invisible before the spells started flying. I had prepared my death ward, given Ashena a couple of said potions (She insisted I take the gold she threw at me for them, I was in too much of a hurry to argue, I think I owe her cookies!) and at the last moment, remembered that I had a secret stash of spellcrystals.

    I smashed the Spellmantle one on myself, and a protection from evil, and then went in with the others. When it all went mad, I got distracted in an awful hurry. Spells rushed toward me like hungry water snakes, leaving glowing trails instead of rippling water in their wake... but they hit little blue squares of light in front of me, which shattered and reformed right before my eyes. Again, and again, they lit up, til I looked past them, and saw him try to rush past me.

    I swung, and gave chase, even as something screamed by my ear, leaving me pale and breathless in it's wake. I heard something heavy hit the ground, but knew not what, even as I slashed and stabbed, and dogged his every step. I wish I was a heroic fighter, I think I bounced my sword off of him once, but I'm not nimble or strong enough to pose much of a threat to a being so powerful...

    But Ashena was. The lady knight dashed past me, then, and grabbed the necromancer. And then, there was LIGHT!

    A bright flash, and a victorious shout, and then all was still. Too still. Where there should have been shouts of joy and victory, there was a murmur about Eragor instead, who lay prone and still and cold on the floor. I dove on him, and tried every resuscitation trick I knew.

    Somebody kindly told me quietly that death magic didn't leave the body able to be revived... so I gave up, shoulders slumped, and sat there a moment.

    Then, he appeared. Theroy, looking pale and ghostly, and ... well, not all there. He was already missing a hand, so quickly was he fading, but he imparted to us a tidbit of knowledge with his heartfelt thanks.

    He was the necromancer. Or at least, it was a part of him. He had apparently split from himself when he went after power, and gave up his mortal life or soul or however necromancy makes one of it's own able to do what they do... and we enabled him to let go and be free. Both parts of him.

    Find the light.

    Is there a darkness inside of me?

    Yes.

    Others saw it during the dreamwalks and visions. I scared some of them, then. I scared ME. I even saw me, fighting me. Was that vision about an inner struggle, or am I going to have to fight my double to the death?

    I don't know what the light is, how to find it, or even if I need it yet, but I'll keep looking. I don't want to end up like Theroy. I'll find my light on my own, without having to be vanquished, or split from myself. Still... between it hurting more every time I shift, my jealousy spiking nearly out of control sometimes, and the bizarre feelings of being watched and restlessly waking from sleep ... I wonder what is going on?_

    Xp pending**