3. Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress

Diary of a Fuzzy Sorceress


  • ~Interlude~
    ~Pixie Quest, The Search for Ink~

    Tojan was startled awake by a frustrated exclamation from Dark Kitty. She looked down from the top of the book shelf quietly and found her pet over by Fang's desk looking a bit defeated. In her hand was an empty vial. By the cushions on the floor was Dark Kitty's diary.

    "Oh, I see. Out of ink. Gee, that's too bad, that diary has been a lot of help for her. I know, I'll get more," the pixie thought to herself and then flew out the window.

    "And I figured you seem to do a lot with liquid stuffs and such. So, do you have ink?" Tojan asked a reptilian figure in the druid glen.

    "Sssorry, little one. I brew tincturesss, not ink."

    Not one to give up, Tojan flew to others in the glen. The gnomish druid, the guarding druid, the old historian druid. And each time the answer was the same. No ink.

    "Oh, fluffernutter!" the pixie exclaimed.

    Her friend, Franni then appeared. "What's the matter, Tojan?"

    "Dark Kitty and Fang ran out of ink so I was hoping to find some."

    "Oh, is that all? I know how to make very nice ink. Let me get you a list of ingredients."

    Tojan had to admit, she was a bit unsure about this. The first ingredient was sensible enough, fenberries. A quick trip to the Silver Valley was all it took to procure them. The second item worried Tojan. She stared at a bee hive she found. "How is honey needed for ink? Oh well, here we go."

    The pixie rose high in the air and brandished her dagger-sized sword. With gravity to help, she dove at the beehive in a speedy blur of sparkles, cutting the hive open as she passed and flew on into the bushes. She had to keep moving, she knew, as she slowly wove through the branches. Already she could hear the insects swarm and buzz angrily at the damage done to their home. They easily began to follow the scent of pixie dust in the air.

    Tojan started flying quickly as soon as she was free of the bush. She rapidly sped through trees, hoping to lead as many of the bees away as fast as she could. The buzz of the insects filled the air, but she could tell she was quick enough to stay out of reach. Soon, she figured it was time for the second part of her plan. She quickly double-backed and criss-crossed her own path before flying off in a round about path back to the hive.

    Her plan worked. The bees became confused at her loop and kept circling. She had plenty of time to swiftly swipe at the hive again, this time taking some honey instead.

    Tojan wondered if Franni was playing a joke on her when she got to the fourth ingredient. She found herself flying quietly through the woods south of what was once the Gypsy Camp. Soon enough she found her quarry, a lone forest spider. Seeing it sent a chill down Tojan's spine. These spiders were big enough to frighten people, so to a small pixie, she could only be considered prey by the spider.

    "Dark Kitty better appreciate this."

    Tojan dove at the spider from high above, putting all her weight behind the blade as it sank into the spider's head. The arachnid collapsed with a screech and was silent and still after. Pleased with herself, Tojan yanked the sword free and then began to cut out a few of the spider's many eyes. Just as she finished her task, she heard an angry clicking noise behind her.

    The spider had a mate.

    The spider jumped at her with a surprisingly fast leap. She tried to dodge, but felt it's mandible bite into her arm. Without the element of surprise, Tojan was sure this was not a fight she could win and flew as fast as her wings could push, with the spider following after.

    "Goblin gook? She can't be serious." Tojan sighed with exhaustion. Sure enough, that was ingredient seven on the list. Her pet probably had some bottles stuffed away in her pack, but the pixie wanted to keep the ink a surprise. The only other option she could think of was to steal one from a goblin.

    Tojan quietly crept through the brush of the Rawlinswood. She found a spot that she could see plenty of goblins (which there rarely is a shortage of) and yet was close to Fang's house where she could quickly hide if she had to. As she walked, she came upon a goblin's dead body, it looked to have been ripped apart by a large wolf. "Ooo, Fang and his Fluffy have been working, I see. Maybe they left behind a gook for me?"

    Sadly, there were no bottles of the goblin beverage in it's belongings. All the pixie found was some lint and a doll. She stood for a moment, trying to figure out why goblins like their lint so much. "I suppose it does kinda sparkle if the light hits it right… and goblins like things that shine and sparkle. So I gotta be careful because they'll like my sparkles and..." The pixie suddenly had a brilliant plan that brought a mischievous grin to her face.

    It was getting close to dinner time when the pixie had everything finished. The doll hung on a vine in the air. Leaves covered in the goblin lint were stuffed into it's back and fluffed out to look like wings. More vines circled on the ground underneath the doll, hidden by leaves. Satisfied with her work, Tojan flew off to find her victim. Minutes later, she found a goblin trudging around in the woods.

    "Hey, Green-face!" she shouted. "Your mother was a toad and your father smelt of bird dung!"

    The goblin snarled angrily at the pixie's insult and charged at her. She grinned and flew off staying just ahead of the goblin and yelling back taunts at it. As soon as she reached her trap, she turned herself invisible so that only the pixie-looking doll could be seen in the air. The goblin ran up to the doll and took a swing at it with his club, clobbering it good. Tojan began to cut a vine where she stood hidden behind the tree. TWANG!

    Branches snapped straight, which pulled on more vines. Those vines pulled on the ones around the goblin's foot, and before he had a chance to figure out what was going on he found himself hanging upside down in the air. It's pouch fell to the ground under it. Tojan quickly ran over and ransacked the pouch to the goblin's dismay, and pulled out the bottle of goblin gook she needed.

    "Thanks, Green-face!"

    "And the last ingredient, some daisy pollen." Tojan handed the final ingredient to Franni. It was a while since the sun had set and she was feeling pretty tired. What should have been a simple errand for Dark Kitty turned out to be a long adventure.

    Franni tossed the pollen into the pot with all the other ingredients. "Okay, that should be everything. Oh! Wait! I forgot one thing!"

    Tojan's shoulders slumped for a moment, but then she stood straight. She came this far, she wouldn't back down now. "What do I need to get?"

    "Okay, this is a very important ingredient, okay? And we need it before this mix settles or it will all go bad, so be quick about this!"

    Tojan nodded to her fellow pixie.

    "Alright. I need.... pixie dust."

    "Right!" Tojan zipped off into the air without a thought.

    After a moment, she fluttered slowly back down to Franni and gave her a glare.

    "Oh, you are gonna pay for that one sometime, Meanie."

    Franni couldn't stop laughing for a good hour.

    Tojan carefully placed the second vial of ink next to the first on Fang's desk. She gave a weary yawn and sat down next to her presents. She couldn't believe how much trouble she went through for something as simple as ink. Exhaustion overook her and she fell asleep, where Fang and Dark Kitty would find her the following morning, still sleeping next to the vials of ink.


  • Entry 61

    Okay, bear with me here. I usually find this hard enough to tell friends. So to write it down? Where it might get stolen and then a person I don't trust knows my secrets? What if it's a zealous paladin who then decides I'm an evil to be expunged?

    I think I need to write it down now, however. Hopefully, we'll have it solved soon and perhaps then this secret won't matter. At the very least, my other half will need an explanation. And who knows? Perhaps you, the mysterious thief, is really a friend who is looking for clues to help me because my nightmares have claimed me.

    So here we go.

    My name is Lorelai. Tindra used to be my name, but circumstances created deep scars. There is still a Tindra. I am simply another persona, caused by trauma. Tindra, unfortunately, is indisposed. And as I recently found out, I'm at fault for it.

    Here's how it all came about. Years ago, decades really, I was only Tindra. Tindra had come to Norwick seeking a new life, after being exiled from her tribe for her sorcery. She made friends and family. And then became involved with some werefolk. She helped prevent a war with the werewolf clans by becoming a werefolk herself.

    Unfortunately, in the course of that, she attracted the attention of a terrible creature known as the Dark Enchantress. She wanted a pet, and decided a werecat would be a good choice. Perhaps it was also because Tindra was a sorceress as well. So the Enchantress kidnapped Tindra and then brainwashed her with hypnotism and illusions. She made Tindra believe that her friends and family were betraying and hurting her. Fear grew until Tindra could no longer stand it and she ran away from Norwick… into the clutches of the Dark Enchantress who made herself appear to be Tindra's mother. She gave Tindra a collar which bound her mind to the Dark Enchantress.

    Minds are fragile. Deep down, Tindra wasn't... isn't a hateful and vengeful soul. With all the stress, the pressure, the twisting... She broke. Tindra hid herself away while a new Tindra came to the fore, this one being the one who accepted every little lie the Enchantress fed her. She became a person who hated everybody and wanted revenge for the betrayals she saw. The Dark Enchantress gave her a new image to better hide among the commoners so that she could secretly cause chaos and get her revenge. With that new image, a new name was chosen. Lorelai.

    Lorelai fortunately did not have the chance to fully see her plans come about. Vilmar, the elf who adopted Tindra as a sister, somehow figured out who Lorelai truly was and tricked her into a trap. Call Sanner and Amissa of the Phoenix helped him in breaking the collar and it's link. In that moment, Tindra woke up from her hiding space. Lorelai, already in pain from the collar's removal, was suddenly faced with the realization that she was not "real." Her thirst for revenge, her anger, her hate, all born from lies. Who she thought was her mother was very much not, hiding by illusion.

    Lorelai faded away and Tindra regained her life. And all was quiet for a while unt-

    _The half-elf looked at her vial she was using to write with. She dipped the quill back into it but found it empty. "Dammit, this figures. I wonder if Jerrick has some more at his desk." She started poking around at his desk, and only to find an equally empty vial.

    "You have got to be kidding. <g>FARK!</g>"_


  • Entry 60

    The shadows are taken care of, their necromancer is dead. By Selûne that was an awful battle. Shadows and shades everywhere. At one point, shades poured out in endless numbers from every dark corner around us, leaving no place to safely pull back to. Which stinks when their unnatural presense hits your mind and you lose yourself to fear.

    I did good right up until the end. One suddenly looked like her, the Enchantress. I panicked. Everywhere I turned, I saw her lashing out at me. After so much fear, pain, and loss of blood, I finally passed out.

    And even then that was no relief, my inner demons continued where the shades stopped. Somehow, some way, I could feel somebody calling for me. With all my might, I pushed through. I weakly opened my eyes and saw Jerrick over me, bandaging my wounds and somehow pulling me back from the brink of death. Others were around me, I heard someone give thanks to Miellikki and Selûne that I wasn't dead. Soliel unfortunately did not have such luck. Thankfully, she returned to life after we returned to town and brought her to the temple.

    Before this whole ordeal, I was getting concerned about Jerrick again. He seemed quite annoyed and pissed off. Maybe I took it too hard, but the way he refused to talk about it bothered me especially after Aelthas's attitude the other day. After we got back home to rest from this battle, however, everything seems fine again. Perhaps he was just very annoyed at something and didn't want to burden me. That would be just like him.

    He'll be waking up soon, I think I'll go get breakfast ready. I for one am looking forward to an ordinary and quiet morning followed by a quiet day. He'd like that too.


  • Entry 59

    Well, I now know who would win in a spell fight between Ronan and I. Some "puppets" attacked the south gate. Thorn told me of them before. There have been copies of him. After killing one, we faced a copy of Ronan. It summoned a giant water elemental. As people were trying to chase the puppet down, I tried casting numerous dispells at it. I think I stripped a good number of defensive spells off it. And then the water elemental came up from behind me.

    I didn't have a chance, it engulfed me and filled my lungs with water. Within seconds I blacked out.

    Thank Selûne that Celad knew how to help a drowned person. I owe him my life.

    Before the puppet attacks, there was a woman asking to talk to Jerrick. I didn't recognize her at first, but after a little while it hit me. Rith, the one who helped build the shrine for Lathander in Old Norwick and also founded the Order of Divine Shield. Turns out she's a member of the Phoenix too. She's a little disheartened by how both Orders have been lately. I hope she can turn things around.

    Actually, I rather like her. While she comes across as very faithful and rightous, she's also very level headed and a nice person to talk to.

    We also have had numerous attacks from shadow creatures. Jerrick is trying to find out who is creating them.

    I still feel very tired from all this. Especially the near drowning. Time for some tea and then bed.


  • Entry 58

    Soliel did make me feel a bit better about myself. I'm a little worried about her though. She's still mourning the loss of Devinee and she still feels very out of place here. She grew up in a temple without a lot of contact from regular people. I hope she'll grow more comfortable in time, but I can see it's very hard.

    I explained the whole situation of the nightmares to Lycka, Ronan, and Aelthas. Ro and Lycka were pretty supporting. Aelthas? I don't know. I tried asking Ronan about Aelthas and he told me he's just got some issues he's dealing with and that I shouldn't worry about it. I suppose he's right, I have my own issues to deal with.

    And then days later, Aelthas goes and shows me that Ronan wasn't telling me the truth. Yeah, he can be an ass sometimes, but THAT much? No, something's getting under his skin. After talking with Thorn, I think it may be after effects of becoming a werefolk. The same kinda happened with me. It's a change that affects you mentally as well as physically. Now just to figure out how to help Aelthas.

    I'm kinda liking Thorn's "bag of neverending belladonna" idea.

    I been spending some time with Thorn lately. I was with him before, during and after Fight Night. He reassures me as well, like the rest of my friends. We can't change the past, only deal with the consequences and hope to set things right. Somebody did ask if we were close. I think we are, but as siblings. He'd make a good mate though, I bet.

    He does worry about what might happen to me, when we confront these nightmares and their creator. Soliel does too. I bet Jerrick's thinking it too, even if he doesn't say it.

    I promise I'm not going to disappear. I'll work things out with Sis. Somehow.

    (OOC: I think I got my order of events mostly correct…))


  • ** The following entry is written with a shaken hand, as if the author was nervous or scared. **

    Entry 57

    By Selûne, I really made a mess of things. All this time, it's my fault. Tojan must be seething with anger. I feel it a bit. She's not saying anything though. Maybe she just wants this over with? I know I do.

    And Jerrick. He went into the realm of dreams to confront my nightmares. He saw faced my worst one. Myself succumbing to the Dark Enchantress again, becoming her and killing him.

    That's bad enough, but it's only a dream. I can see him brushing it off as such and not holding it against me. But Selûne, why why why why did he have to see that memory?

    Because he had to, right? Otherwise, how can he understand how to solve the problem?

    I feel so ashamed and disgusted at the kind of person I was at that point. No wonder I almost completely forgotten about the offer from that dark figure and my agreeing to it's terms. Revenge and freedom in exchange for my first born child.

    If I could meet my younger self, I'd probably slap her and wring her neck. That Jerrick can still look at me with compassion is a miracle. I think I felt my heart stop beating for a moment when I realized what he saw. Thank you, Jerrick, for your love.

    And Ronan… Whatever you think of Jerrick and lack of sacrifice is clearly in the wrong.

    Whoever in the future finds and reads this diary, I'm sure I'm not making any sense. I've left out so much here in this book. It's about time I correct that.

    But later, Soliel just stopped by.

    ((OOC: Woo, I've got a couple of days to make up here.))


  • _~Interlude, Part 3~

    Tojan had snuck upstairs when she realized Fang was done. He went into the dreaming realm, she could tell. The thought made her shudder. It could be a dangerous place if you are without a guide. And the only guide she was aware of was the Skald. But he was dead. Dark Kitty mentioned Pinkie's wife knew somebody, but they aren't here. It was just Fang. Fang must be a lucky one, to make it back fine.

    She stayed hidden and quiet, as she listened to Fang talk to Dark Kitty. He fought a nightmare. The nightmare, the nasty one. The one where she succumbs to the Dark Bitch and kills her loved ones… and becomes the Dark Bitch. That's a nasty nightmare.

    "What did he just say?" Tojan asks herself as she listens, finding Fang's recent comment confusing. "First born?"

    Dark Kitty's response was so laced with guilt the pixie could almost see it pouring out of her. As their conversation continued, the eavesdropping pixie felt confusion give way to anger.

    "I was right!" she thought angrily.

    Dark Kitty did do something to Kitty. Those nightmares, all along were Dark Kitty's fault! That deal she made, nightmares in exchange for her first born?! The pixie felt like she was going to explode. And how can Fang just sit there and comfort Dark Kitty! He saw it himself! So what if she stopped using the nightmares! They are still there, obviously.

    Just look at Dark Kitty! That imposter! Doing that to Kitty and now sitting there in her place! How dare she!!! She must be feeling pretty smug-

    No… Guilty... Very guilty. Ashamed. Scared. Regretful. Sorrowful. Feeling like she doesn't deserve Fang's love, yet would surely crack without it. Horrified at what she's done.

    Tojan frowned at what she felt through the mage bond.

    She watched the two get some tea to calm Dark Kitty, and then went to bed. The pixie understood why Fang did what he did. Why he still loved her. Tojan floated over and landed on her pet's head as she slept dreamlessly thanks to the tea.

    "You were a Bad Kitty. Unbelievably bad. I don't know if I will ever forgive it."

    Tojan sighed, "But that's not you anymore, is it?"

    Tojan looked over to Fang and hoped he could solve this. The nightmares need to be stopped. Kitty needed to be rescued. And Dark Kitty needed to be freed from her deal. The Kitties and an future child's fate hung in the balance.

    And to make it even worse, it's an unseelie fae behind it all.

    "Fark!" the pixie exclaimed, then laid down to sleep._


  • _~Interlude, Part 2~
    Tojan sat on the window sill and looked out the window at the night sky. Fang's house was cozy, and under different circumstances the pixie would love to be exploring the nooks and crannies and probably would find some fun mischief to cause. She just wasn't in a mischief mood, she couldn't be.

    The talk with Fang had gone well. He seemed to at least understand that Dark Kitty's nightmares were important. He seemed especially alarmed when the pixie told him that Kitty had them before, back when Dark Kitty was locked away.

    At first, Tojan was happy to see Dark Kitty suffer. The pixie never believed that Dark Kitty didn't do something to keep Kitty from waking. Dark Kitty had wanted that for so many years before. Tojan couldn't understand why Old Elf believed Dark Kitty. She must have tricked him somehow. And so, the pixie did what pixies love to do when they hold grudges. She gave Dark Kitty lots and lots and LOTS of mischief. Mean mischief. A few tricks drew blood even. She hated Dark Kitty and let her know it.

    But now Dark Kitty showed she's more than what Tojan believed. She couldn't believe how heart-broken Dark Kitty was when she came home the night when she realized her love for Fang and gave it up for a friend.

    Dark Kitty made a sacrifice for another? It shocked the pixie, who couldn't help but feel sympathy for her adversary. She was not Kitty, but she was also not as bad as Tojan believed.

    Forgiveness granted. Still, she wanted her Kitty back.

    The nightmares have grown worse. They have become bad enough they pain Tojan through the mage bond with the Kitties. The last nightmare especially worries Tojan. She saw flashes of it. Fang being killed. He understood that from Dark Kitty's sobbing. Fang was disturbed. He had them go to his house and now he began some ritual upstairs at his altar, with Dark Kitty next to him. Tojan didn't understand what for, besides trying to find answers. The pixie is glad he leaped into action, so that she and Dark Kitty didn't have to explain what killed him in her nightmare.

    It's how he died that scared Tojan as much as it scared Dark Kitty. It was Kitty's worst nightmare, too. If these nightmares overtake Dark Kitty…

    She would lose both? The pixie felt a pang of dread. She would be crushed. It was such a sad thought. A memory flashed through the pixie's head, of another pixie, Tilly, who's sadness was so great it affected a dryad's tree. Tojan and Kitty both felt that sadness, almost succumbing to it. Would that be Tojan's fate as well?

    As Tojan up at the moon, which was partly covered by clouds, she decided to call out to the one her both her Kitties revered. "Please Selûne, guide Fang to help my Kitties. Both of them. There will be much sadness if we lose either."_


  • ~Interlude, Part 1~

    _A pixie fluttered over Tindra as she falls asleep in the druid glen. "Who knew having a pet was so much work?" she said with a sigh while landing on a tree branch to sit. The pixie looked perhaps just as weary as Tindra.

    "Hey, Tojan!" a voice called out. It belonged to another pixie, who often stayed at the glen. "You haven't been around much lately, how are you?"

    "Hi, Franni. Sorry, I know I still owe you a rematch. But I have to keep an eye on my Kitty so much."

    "Oh, she still has problems?"

    "Yep. Kitty's still broken. Still got Dark Kitty."

    "Oh dear. I remember you mentioning her before. I thought you were gonna get rid of her."

    "Easier said than done!" Tojan huffed. "Dark Kitty just won't go away. I miss Kitty so much. And now it is complicated."

    Franni laughed, "What could possibly make this more complicated?"

    "Dark Kitty fell in love."

    The floating pixie almost fell down with surprise at Tojan's answer. "Fell in love? But I thought you said Dark Kitty is just hate-hate-hate and anger-anger!"

    "I know! She was like that! All because of that evil Bitch who tried to take my pet away. But maybe that's just it. Dark Kitty is her own now."

    "Ooooooo! I think I see! No Bitch, no hate"

    Tojan nodded, "Yep, that's what I'm seeing. She fell in love HARD. It almost broke her more! Unrequited love, you know."

    "Oh my! Who did she fall for?"

    "Fang."

    "Fang? As in… Oh! I know him, he's an elder! Huh, both Kitties go for druids, huh?"

    "Yyyyyyep! Funny that. I guess Dark Kitty's not really all that different. She and Fang finally are together now, but the nightmares are back."

    Franni frowned, "Not those again. Kitty had them too, right?"

    "Yep. And I don't think Dark Kitty realizes the significance. What should I do? I'm afraid to tell her."

    "I know! I know! I know!" Franni bounced up and down in the air excitedly. "Talk to Fang."

    Tojan blinked and looked over at her friend. "That's... Brilliant! Thanks, Franni!"

    "Sure thing! Glad I could-" Franni started to answer back, but Tojan was already flying away._


  • Entry 56

    There is one thing I do very much apprecite about Ronan. He says his piece, let's me voice my own, and then that's it. Back to business as usual between the feline sorceress and the bored senator.

    I went with him and some others into one of the crypts. RoRo wanted to fight undead. That may seem a bit odd for a sorceror to want, but he's got a really flashy spell that just blasts undead up nicely. He likes to show it off, I think.

    Up until this little trip, I wasn't sure if this Malarite armor was worth keeping. I mean, it does hamper my spellcasting some. On the other hand, it does protect me very well. It's not as good as my feline skin, but certainly better than any other armor I've worn. With that and a shield I fared well against some of the stronger undead. I still went furball at a couple of points, but the fact is that this armor lets me not rely on being a werecat as much whenever I'm in a fight.

    Why does that matter? Look back to the day I shapeshifted and then had a new fellow shooting at me because I'm a monster. Sometimes being what I am attracts the wrong kind of attention.

    I need to remember about pestering Thorn. Seems he gave some of the militia recruits the impression that I'm in charge or something. One was wondering if I could get some armor he left in the barracks.

    Me in the militia? As if being an advisor isn't tough enough.


  • Entry 55

    I finally got my lecture. Ronan and Aelthas both saw Jerrick and I together. It's not like I was hiding it. After a bit of the two staring at us, Ronan called me over to talk. There wasn't one word he said that I didn't expect. Disapproval at Jerrick turning to me so soon after Feather left (even though it was I who approached Jerrick). Reminder of how many failed relationships he's had. Would he wait for me, if I venture off somewhere? Telling me that he hasn't seen Jerrick give the same sacrifices to his loves as they have to him (except Kara, he concedes).

    I know Ronan means well. At least he could quickly tell that my mind was made up. He just wanted to give his warnings. He does hope I prove him wrong.

    I will.

    Benji was quite perplexed too, when he saw Jerrick and I all cuddly. Jerrick didn't feel like hearing any gruff from him so we ducked out before Benji could say anything to us. He wasn't too happy about that. We found him later at Jerrick's house looking for us. So Jerrick flat out asked him why Benji felt the need to stick his nose in who Jerrick is with like everybody else. Why all the judgement? Benji's answer caught him by surprise. I'll admit I was a little shocked myself, but looking back it all makes sense.

    Benji wasn't judging Jerrick. He was jealous. Jerrick's had more than a few women, while Benji hasn't had one until recently. Jerrick couldn't help but feel like an ass for how he treated Benji in return. Well, at least we cleared things up and all is good.

    So I guess that leaves Aelthas to have a talk with me sometime. Personally, I'm hoping he figures Ronan said enough of what needs to be said and leave it at that. Just let me have my happiness for however long it lasts.

    I feel cozy just being here in his bed, despite having another nightmare. Seeing everyone I care for dead, killed in a massive attack, with myself a sole survivor to witness it all. He woke me up before the nightmare could go further and held me, calming me. I can't get back to sleep, though. Something nags at me, about these nightmares. It's like there is some significance I'm missing.

    I'll puzzle it out later. My light spell is starting to fade. I'll see if sleep reclaims me.


  • Entry 54

    Something is up with Aelthas. I'm not sure what but he feels a bit distant to me lately. It's a little unnerving. I wonder if I should ask Lycka if anything is wrong. He's certainly not telling me. And I don't think he's found out yet about Jerrick and I so it shouldn't be that.

    Soleil's distraught. She lost her animal friend. She's hoping she can bring him back somehow, I hope so. She seems so sad, and not just from her loss. I think she's having some love trouble too. She was a bit upset when I mentioned Jerrick and I. Not jealous of me having Jerrick, but jealous of having somebody.

    Badger's edgy too. Bored, mostly, I think.

    Well, we ended up with plenty of excitement. First, giant bats. Then some "rotten man" as the yuan-ti called it. A beast of Malar, cougars, zombies, a flying creature… Something is up for sure. And I'm not sure I like it.


  • ((OOC Warning - F-bomb is being dropped in this post. Please seek shelter if you cannot weather it's impact.))

    Entry 53

    It's a relief. I really do feel like a weight has lifted from me. No, it's not because he loves me. Honestly, that was obvious for a long while. The relief is that I don't have to hold back now.

    I showed him the letter from Feather. After he read it, I confessed all. How much he means to me. My love for him. The comfort I feel being with him. The trust I have in him. And how much I've been afraid to act and why I was afraid.

    And he did the same, confessing how he felt for me and that he has long felt that way. And his own fear of loving me despite his past history at romance. Despite his fears, he wants to.

    In the end, I think we said what was in our hearts and were too afraid to say. And yet, I think we knew what each other would say. It was still good to say it.

    Aelthas and Ronan have both warned me about Jerrick's previous relationships when they first found out I fell in love with Jerrick and both said I'd be better off without him anyways.

    Fuck that. I don't care what has happened. What matters is how I feel and how he feels. I'll have more regrets if we don't walk this path. We love each other now. No matter how long this lasts, be it a days or years or a lifetime, I will enjoy each moment we share together.


  • A letter is folded and tucked in between the pages at this place in the diary.

    Lorelai,

    No doubt by now you know I'm gone, a long time now. I had to go and quickly I hope someday you'll forgive me because it does not mean I don't love you with all my heart and all of who I am. I know now you'll be there for our love, to comfort him, to listen, and someday I hope to be with him; nothing could make me happier then to know that you are both cared for, I just hope it can be for the two of you what it was for us; actually I believe it will be more for you will never leave him of this I'm certain, I'm afraid I wasn't strong enough to say no when my mothers people needed me. I just hope someday you'll both forgive me and that you both still love me as much as I do you. If you think it will help, please share this letter with him when you believe he is ready to read it. He can be a very silly and noble man at times, but I do not wish him to believe I would want this to be otherwise.

    Sisters in Selune

    Jynai

    Entry 52

    She was in my life for a short handful of years. And yet, in some far off country she manages to know exactly what I'm feeling and thinking. If she wasn't so far away, I'd honestly suspect that she read this diary. From the first day we met, I think she knew.

    Well, I hope she knows she's forgiven. Actually, she never needed forgiving to begin with, at least not from me. I miss her, yes. But I know she's doing what she feels she must.

    Thorn's of course curious what she wrote. I might tell him later.

    I've been sitting on the cliff side near the south gate, just staring at this letter in these early hours of the morning. Granted for most of that time it was too dark to re-read the letter, but just staring at it thinking.

    It's a wake up call to my heart. Up until now, I've held back because I was afraid. Afraid of hurting her. Afraid of chasing him away. Afraid because I've never felt this way before about another.

    Feather's unspoken words here? Stop being afraid.

    Now I just have to hunt down Jerrick, unless he finds me first. After that, well, I'll figure out what -

    Ah, there he is. Here goes nothing.


  • Entry 51

    Jerrick is back from his trip to…. wherever it is the Fey take him. I must admit I'm a little curious of what he does for the Fey. Maybe I'll ask sometime.

    And no, I did not tackle him.

    It's funny, he comes back and immediately digs into trouble. When I saw him at the southern gate, he looked like he had been hit by all manner of spells and blades. At least he wasn't looking as bad as that other time when he was drained and such. Ronan ended up with a cursed cloak after the ordeal, he's going to try to uncurse it.

    Jerrick promoted Thorn and Rasuil as the Wolves' "Bows" of Norwick. That puts them in a commanding role, so to speak. I approve of his choice. Thorn's pretty involved in things around Norwick, as is Rasuil. And both are fairly level headed.

    I talked with Jerrick for a while, and had a nice brunch at the inn with him. We talked about how we've both been sent back from death by our goddesses. Why send us back? What purpose are we to fill? Is there some grand destiny?

    I suggested that perhaps our purpose lies in who we already are and the things we do. He liked that idea. It's simpler. He thanked me after we finished our brunch, for helping him. I'm not quite sure what help I was besides being his confidant and friend.

    But as I think on that, I feel my earlier words echo back. The help I give him doesn't need to be something grand, just being who I already am. His friend, his confidant, his soulmate.

    There's that word again. Looking at it, that feels right. And yet, it pains me. What about Feather? Dammit, I shouldn't get my hopes up. Right?


  • Entry 50

    By Selûne what a headache I had early in the week. Apparently there are these creatures that cause magic to go haywire an it causes Wild Magic, as well as giving us mages quite a nasty headache. I hope that clears up soon.

    I'm still a little puzzled by Rynn. I wonder why she's so skittish. I wonder if I can help her get some confidence of herself. Maybe she's got some though, she had quite an outfit on. It was the type of outfit I'd wear when I want to flirt.

    Speaking of flirting, Fight Night was fun. Thorn won again, which relieved him as he made a bet with Sabre. The loser had to box in a thong. Honestly, I had a hard time cheering for Thorn. It was a tempting image, him in a thong. On the other hand, Sabre wore it very well. My little purple number was a hit with the crowd also.

    Horlamin, however, got me annoyed. Is it really necessary to taunt the laws of Norwick just to bug Dwin? Can't we try to put forth a good image that would make folks trust us? Apparently, I've got my work cut out for me…

    I'm a bit annoyed at Dietrick too, for picking on Thorn. A couple of invisibility spells later, and we both were away from him and had a nice chat about things. We had a visit from Caelian, too. Crux is a lucky gal, I think. Thorn's a good elf.


  • Entry 49

    There still seems to be a lot going on in the woods, though things were quiet for me this week. It seems Thorn and Noah have been dealing with a vampire and gotten him to promise not to attack townsfolk in exchange for letting him bite them. Selûne, please make sure they are safe.

    Eli's also run into some trouble. From what I've been told, she's been sniffing pixie dust and has gotten addicted to it. I told Tojan to avoid her. It took me a few minutes to explain who Eli is, because Tojan loves to give people special names. Eli is "Lilly." Anyways, Adriell is in a huff about Eli's problem, mostly because Eli is lying about it. We might have to lock her up to break her addiction.

    Jerrick must have been off to Fae lands again, I haven't seen him in a while. Somebody mentioned he was around briefly. I have to get a hold of myself. I feel so antsy, maybe because of my nightmares? I feel calmer when he's near.

    Get a grip. The last thing he needs is an obsessive werecat ready to pounce him whenever he shows up.

    I bet he'd enjoy it though.


  • Entry 48

    More attacks. Something must be stirring in the woods.

    something I forgot the other week, Soleil and another.. Rey? They are interested in the Druid Circle. I need to leave a note.

    I met another friend, Rynn. She witnessed an attack on the gates by the goblinkin and it scared the hell out of her. She seems to be pretty afraid of everybody. Benji's loud voice at Fight Night upset her even. Is she yet another who went through some trauma that has left her scarred?

    Another old face showed up, Pete. I have to admit, I didn't recognize him at first. I think Sis knew him more. I have the feeling though, after talking with him, that he knew of our problem. He doesn't seem to remember much about it, just that he helped collect the wood for a dreamwalk.

    And it seems I surprised Noah a bit. I talked about my past and we quickly realised we share similar pasts. Both of us are half-breeds, both of us were scorned for it, both of us were exiled.

    And both of us have found we belong here.


  • Entry 47

    The south gate of Norwick has seen a lot of fighting lately. Bugbears, goblins, hobgoblins, drow…

    It's worrisome.

    Oh, and I gotta be more careful about shapeshifting near town. I spooked a newcomer into attacking me when I changed into my half-cat form. He started shooting at me, since I was a monster. And while I'm flattered that everybody else was willing to defend me and threaten the man, I feel bad.

    Let's be honest here. I am a monster. Right? Perhaps not the mind nor the heart of a monster, but I have the form of one.

    I think I should make sure people don't hold any grudges against that fellow.


  • Entry 46

    Jerrick wasn't around today. That's probably for the best, right?

    Undead were attacking the south gate. Lots of stinking zombies and a farking huge one. It turns out there was some Thayan wizard behind it all. He didn't like it when I tossed some dispels at him, he lobbed a fireball back at me. Unfortunately, he got away. We'll get him next time.

    I did get to talk to that "cat" woman I wrote about. Soleil is her name. She's very nice. It turns out she has some feline mannerisms because she grew up in a temple full of them. She worships Nobanion, who is a god of felines and royalty. I do find her interesting, and she is very accepting of me being a werecat. Another good friend, I hope.