A Drunken Day at the Lucky Ferret



  • As people walk into the Ferret, they see Jaelle standing on top of a table, swaying and barely able to hold herself up. She is holding a bottle of Riskey in one hand and raises it in salute…"Dis won be fer you Jay!" She then breaks into song...

    Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
    The prettiest girl I think there’s ever been
    She went on a ship with her poppy on business
    Didn’t know her life would change from there on in

    It was late one night on a cargo ship, and we were lost a sea’o
    Katy was the daughter of a merchant man, a crisp and clean sixteen’o
    With the body of a much more mature girl, and a gullible demeanor
    Katy didn’t know what would soon go down and the men would soon betray her

    • Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
      And how her smile would soon change to a vengeful thirst
      And from the cargo bin she heard the sound of her poppy
      Be damned with you all, you’ll go through me first

    I woke up to the sound of some ladies screams
    And there sat Katy in her father’s blood and a man told me to leave.
    Seven men with clubs gathered round her now, as they laughed and joked in tandem.
    And one stood before her with his trousers down, commanding her to please him

    • Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
      No blade to bow no nothing but her own sharp teeth
      And as blood trickled down her face one wailed and the others stood in silence
      That bastard fell and Katy found her feet

    As I was taken back to me own quarters, and I couldn’t see her no more
    But I heard blood chilling howls and someone jumped overboard
    Well me captor he soon went away, to see what went awry
    And with a grin I ran to look over the bow and see her with me own two eyes

    • Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
      The prettiest girl I think there’s ever been
      She went on a ship with her poppy on business
      Didn’t know her life would change from there on in

    Well it’s going on damn near five years since that day at sea
    But last night I met with a buxom young lass, familiar did she seem
    She said her name was Katy, she remembered me from that night on the boat
    And with a wink and a smile she pointed to the man at the bar, six down and two to go

    Now there are some pirate lot, hell bent on fame and glory
    But there are those with vengeful thoughts, tis why I tell this store

    “So what you’re saying in this story, mate, is that she bit off someone’s…..”

    • Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
      The most ruthless girl to sail the seven seas
      A heart of gold but you better not cross her
      Or Katy will turn from good to down right mean

    • Oh let me tell you tales of Castrating Katy
      The prettiest girl I think there’s ever been
      She went on a ship with her poppy on business
      Didn’t know her life would change from there on in"

    She falls off the table during the last chorus with a loud crash. She is helped to her feet and pushed onto a bench where she promptly curls into a ball muttering about love and castration and passes out…