3. Marie's Diary - Notes of a travelling hin

Marie's Diary - Notes of a travelling hin


  • The Thirtieth of Eleasis, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    I guess it was only a matter of time.

    Linn told me today that she couldn't play with me like she has been anymore… that she had found someone that she was falling in love with. A female human, who follows a similar goddess to her. They share a lot of the same philosophies, and ideals.

    I'm happy for her, and I'm really glad that she was honest and upfront about it... but I can't help feeling sad and a little upset. I've become really, really fond of Linn, so much so that I wouldn't have minded making things a little more official than they were.

    But eh, I knew the score when I started with her, so I shouldn't be too surprised. I'll certainly have some happy memories to hold on to, and I know that she cares for me, otherwise she probably would have strung me along.

    But, as I've said before, no-one knows the future. So, whilst I hope and pray that things work out for Linn and her new partner, if they don't, then I'll be there to comfort her and help her deal with her broken heart.

    I know it made her feel really bad to have to tell me. She could tell that I was upset, and I wish that I wasn't... I wish that it didn't make things hard for her. She's such a beautiful person, in her heart and soul, let alone her body which is just gorgeous.

    I still want to be friends with her, stay as close as I can. She's very dear to me, and I don't want to lose her from my life.

    Oh, I'm writing down my thoughts and rambling.. heh, I guess that's what she does to me. I should get some sleep, let my mind rest.

    I wonder who I'll dream of tonight.


  • The Fourteenth of Eleasis, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Norwick
    Weather: Raining

    Caught up with some of the Sisters today, it was good to see them all again. We get together so rarely these days, I so miss them so.

    I was down by the lake in the Rawlins meditating, trying to focus on the spirit of the water, when a large group came out of the deeper woods. Most of them were Sisters, but Telli, Linn and Ronan were with them as well.

    And we recruited another new Sister today. Her name is Kitty, and she's a specialist healer. She's not much chop in combat, but if you need someone to heal, or banish undead, she's your hin.

    Linn keeps teasing me, playing around whenever I see her. It's a lot of fun, and we're both enjoying the affection and intimacy. I can't help but wonder how long this will go for, and if it will lead to anything else.

    After the others left, we went up to my room at the Grapevine… and she gave me a night that I don't think I'll ever forget. She was so gentle, and caring... and yet so passionate. I feel this bond between us, like several strands of silk, starting to bind to one another, creating a stronger link with each passing day.

    I've started dreaming of her, in the same way that I dream of Alexi. It's very interesting, and certainly gives me ideas about what to try and how to respond... but I wish I knew where it all came from.

    Alexi says that it's inbuilt within all women, but I'm not so sure about that. If it was, then people wouldn't need to seek out priestesses of love to learn how to please their partners.

    Wherever it comes from, I want to learn how to control it.


  • The Twentythird of Flamerule, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Norwick
    Weather: Raining

    Well, today was an interesting day, that's for sure.

    I always thought that I would be waiting for marriage, for the one right man to share my body with, to have that special intimacy that I've been longing for so much.

    And then, I followed my heart instead, and shared myself with Linn.

    I'd never even considered what it would be like to be with a woman, let alone think about pursuing such a course of action. Heh, course of action is such a misnomer, I should instead say something like beautiful joining.

    We were in the Dancing Mermaid in Peltarch with some others, both friends and acquaintances. The morning was started with pancakes… I had mine with bacon, maple syrup, and icecream. Linn liked the look of it so much she ordered a plate identical to mine.

    Then, she stole one of my rashers of bacon! Naughty Linn!

    Anyway, after the others had gone, we played around and goofed off a lot. It was wonderful to be able to relax like that with someone other than Alexi. I love him so, but I want to be able to be open with more people. After a while, Linn and I ended up relaxing down near the fire at the far end of the inn, away from everyone.

    I'm still not sure how it happened, but I felt so happy and relaxed with her on the lounge... we were talking and I started teasing her. She's always teased me, trying to get a reaction out of me, so I figured that turnabout was fair play. But, it was causing her to react... her body warmed up, I could feel her getting excited... and that in turn caused me to do the same.

    She told me that she couldn't fall in love with me, because I was a hin and she was an elf, but I know that neither of us cared. That day was a very special one, and I'll always remember it. The first time that anyone had ever touched me like that, made me feel like that... well, outside of my dreams anyway.

    I let my heart lead me, and told my brain to sit in the back and be quiet. And it was glorious. I've never felt so alive, so very aware of every single part of my body, every inch of skin and bone and muscle.

    I think I understand why people follow Sharess now, and why some folks seem to go from partner to partner.

    But for me, I know it was more than just the physical side of things. There was an emotional connection as well. Whilst she may not love me like a husband or wife, I know she loves me as a woman, and as a sexual partner.

    I'm not sure where this will end up. She's made it very clear that what happens between us is only casual, that it's supposed to be fun and enjoyable, but it isn't a sign of anything else. You know what though? I don't think I mind at all. If Alexi has taught me anything, it's to be happy with whatever you can have, even if it is only a small thing.

    From small things big things grow, after all.


  • The Ninth of Flamerule, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    Well, nothing much has changed.

    Lia is still gone, Alestra is still trying to cheer me up, and all I can do is try to put her from my mind, and move on.

    How many friends will I lose in this way before I go insane?

    It's really affecting Alexi. Once he found out what had happened, he went quiet, and turned inwards. He told me later that this is the second lady who confessed her love for him, and when he would not return that love, killed themselves.

    When I heard that, it was all I could do to not wrap him up in my arms and hold him. The poor man… to think that people would go to such ends for love, regardless of how much it hurts those left behind.

    There's a lot of questions I'd like to ask Lia, if such a thing was possible. Why she did it, for one... what she thought it would accomplish, and if she realised just what it would mean, both for her, and for those left behind.

    Sometimes, when I'm alone in my room, staring at the wall, I wonder to myself if I would ever do such a thing. To be so caught up in my own pain as to not realise what suffering I would inflict on myself and others with such a selfish action, to try and ease the pain of living by killing myself, whether it be over love scorned, or the loss of a god's favour.

    I've never been in that situation, so I don't think I can honestly answer that question. I feel pain, and loss, I feel loves sting keenly, even though I cannot act on it... and yet, there is a sense of hope for the future, a hope that tomorrow will be better than today, that there is something worth holding on to.

    I need to share that hope with others.


  • The Fifth of Kythorn, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Windy

    I haven't felt like this since Anju died.

    Lia committed suicide yesterday.

    I was sitting in the Dancing Mermaid doing some paperwork over a cup of coffee and a pastry, when she came in. She told me that she was going away, and that she wouldn't be coming back. She gave me a donation for the Sisterhood, her sword, shield and armor, and her Sisterhood Dress.

    I knew something was wrong, but how wrong, I couldn't tell.

    I gave her a hug, told her she would always have a home here. She shed a tear, and left.

    That was the last time I saw her alive.

    This morning, Alestra told me that she had found Lia's body. She had apparently made herself a makeshift altar to Corellon, and killed herself on it. She made sure that Lia was buried, and her rites said.

    Her soul was not willing to return. Alestra told me that Lia had fallen from her god's graces, and that was why she did it.

    I don't know why she did it, I don't care either. All I know is that someone that I loved is gone, and I wasn't able to save her from this fate.

    After I recovered a bit from the shock of it, I was sitting in the commons with Alestra, trying to understand what happened, why it happened… Sister Adelie came into the commons and we told her about what happened. She was shocked to hear it, and then told me that if she has fallen from her god's graces, then she'lll have been put in the wall in Kelemvor's realm.

    Alestra tried to tell me that this wasn't the case, but I know it is. All I can think of is the screaming woman in the wall, stuck there for all time.

    I hope I'm wrong.


  • The Twentieth of Mirtul, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Norwick
    Weather: Raining

    So much of my time has been taken up with Lia in one way or another over the last ride. She's been spending a lot of time with Alexi, meeting the other Sisters, and seeing what she can of the realm.

    Silmiel recruited her into the Sisterhood, knowing that she would need our help and our love. For that I'm glad, both that she accepted the offer and that someone other than me approached her about it.

    But there's another problem that's taken up a lot of my time as well. She's fallen in love with Alexi, with an intensity that's worrying.

    I'm not sure how I should respond to the situation. There's a part of me that wants to drive her away, to keep her from hurting him. But the greater part of me is full of compassion for her, and trust for Alexi. I know he won't do anything to hurt me, and if he loved her he would tell me truly. Instead he's told me that he cares for her deeply, as I do, but that he cannot and does not love her the way that she loves him.

    If he did love her though… in the way that she hopes for, then as sad as I would be for myself, I think I would understand. The heart wants what it wants, and it will not listen to reason.

    And yet, I try. I took Lia aside and spoke with her, told her that Alexi cannot return her love, that it was not that he did not care for her, but rather that he does not seek a lover or a wife, only friendship. Halfway through the conversation, she seemed to become distant, as if her mind was elsewhere.

    When I left her, she was quite upset, but she seemed to understand what I had been trying to explain to her. I went upstairs to the common room, and went to sleep.

    When I awoke in the morning, I went and grabbed a fenberry pastry for breakfast, then headed back to the common room to relax in front of the fire. There I found Lia and Silmiel talking, Lia looked like she'd been crying.

    Turns out that she's been cursed by the drow, and that the curse is activated by extreme emotions. When I told her that Alexi would never be hers, it activated, and she was taken over by the spirit of a drow, drew her sword and put on her armor, and then walked the streets looking for me, hoping to slay me.

    Silmiel found her, and brought her to her senses, and managed to remove the curse for now. But the only way to stop it returning is by another marking her with similar magics. It can be a curse or a protection, but it needs to be there to keep her safe from the drow.

    After a while Alexi came up, so I left the two of them to talk.

    An hour later perhaps, he came out of the inn carrying her, saying that she had blacked out whilst they were talking.

    Long story short, her soul itself was under attack by the drow. A tall elf turned up talking elven only, saying this and that about the situation and about Lia. Silmiel translated for me, and told me that it was Corellon Larethian himself, but I'm not sure about that. The gods don't walk the realms anymore, that was part of the agreement that they made after the time of troubles.

    In any case, after the elf left, Lia woke up. She was very weak and tired, but alive and with us.

    We talked, and she seemed to be feeling better about the situation with Alexi. Not sure whether she's accepted that he's not going to be hers, or if she's just taking what she can for now and hoping for the future. I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as she respects his boundaries and doesn't do anything too rash in regards to her own safety.

    But what will come next?


  • The First of Mirtul, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    I only just realised that I forgot my birthday this year! I was so busy with the Sisterhood that it slipped my mind. Must organise a birthday cake to share with the Sisters to celebrate. Ah well, there's plenty more birthdays to come, of that I have no doubt.

    I met a new lady today, her name is Lia. She's a bit strange, and definitely very intense in her hatred of drow, but I think she means well.

    I came across her when I found Alexi. Turns out that she had taken employment with him, and so he was showing her around and helping her get her bearings.

    She says that her partner and their son were both killed by drow, in fact, her entire village was destroyed by them in a single raid. She survived the attack, but not without being badly burnt physically, and mentally scarred by it.

    She's taken a liking to Alexi, which is nice to see, but I'm worried where it will go in the future. Her intensity of emotion is something that I think will get her in trouble if she doesn't have the discernment to temper it with patience.

    In any case, I do like her. She's nice, and she means well, even after everything that she's been through. She seems to be a little unsure of me though, not sure why that is. I'll watch her for a while, see how she adapts to life here and what friends she makes, she is certainly someone who is in need of the Sisterhood's help. Just not sure if she'd accept it.

    How do I help someone who doesn't neccesarily want to be helped?


  • The Twentyfirst of Tarsakh, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    Alexi and I have been travelling around, seeing the sights and catching up with people, as well as trying to stay out of trouble. He told me that Benji is starting up a new guild for inventors and alchemists, it's got a long name but the acronym is G.G.G.G.G.G. Apparently Alexi signed up, and so has Reri.

    Earlier today I happened to come across Benji… we started talking about the guild and what kinds of inventions he was looking at for the moment... so I gave him some ideas I had and showed him some of my toys... he was so excited that he pleaded for me to join there and then. I accepted his offer.

    The first thing he wants to make is a shiny staff for Arlinn. He was going to crush up some glowing rings and amulets, and then glue them onto a staff, but I suggested that he instead capture a wisp and put it into some kind of jar, then mount that jar into a staff. That way it makes light, and can zap people. He loved the idea and immediately abandoned his plans for the staff, instead intending to try and work out how to capture the wisp.

    I'm glad I was able to make him happy. After the gnoll woods the other day, he deserves some happiness.

    He just needs to remember to put some rubber grips on the staff, or the wielder of it will get zapped themselves. Knowing Benji, he'll forget about that part of it I think.

    Whatever happens, I think it will be amusing.


  • The Eighth of Ches, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: The Rift River, near Jiyyd
    Weather: Raining

    Things have been pretty quiet for the moment… no word of an attack on Norwick, nothing dangerous happening up near Peltarch... it's been wonderful.

    I came here today, to remember those who have fallen around me. Something about this place seems to be so very apt for it... the temple of Kelemvor behind me, the dead town of Jiyyd in front of me, and the open graves of those who fell in its defense patrolled by beings from the abyss. This feels as close to the afterlife as I can be, and still be alive.

    When I come here, I also remember the time I fell, and the woman in the wall.

    But today, there's another on my mind.

    One who fell defending me with his life, not knowing the price he would pay for it. And yet, I think that had he known, he would have done it anyway.

    I was travelling through the Nars Pass the other day, out for a walk with no specific destination. As I travelled, I came across a group of right sized folks; hins and gnomes. Benji was there, along with some others that I've not met before. They asked me if I wanted to tag along with them, which of course I agreed to happily. It's rare to see right sized folks outside of the Valley, and even rarer to be able to travel with them. We headed over to the gnoll woods to "prank" the gnolls, as the cleric of Garl called it.

    Once in the woods, we found that the gnolls were hiding. Going deeper in, the reason became apparent. Another group was already in the woods and had been slaughtering the gnolls ahead of us. Caric was leading them, and he was none too happy to see our group.

    When everyone else suggested that the two groups join up and work together, he got upset and stormed off.

    So anyway, we continued on, taking out gnolls as we found them. But... there was one of the scythers in our path. The others decided that we should take it on... so they positioned themselves and got its attention.

    It ran in, ignored most of them, and went for me. Still not sure why either, but I stood my ground and took it on. Benji screamed for me to get back, obviously worried about me.

    I tumbled back and out of the way, and no sooner was I in position and about to hurl a shuriken than the scyther turned on Benji, and hit him twice in the guts, slicing him in half as easy as pie.

    Chaos descended in our ranks at that. Everyone scattered this way and that, trying to keep themselves alive and yet not abandon Benji.

    I sculled an invisibility potion and ran to him, in the hopes of bringing him back, but by the time I got there he had passed over.

    Not knowing if the others would be able to defeat the scyther now, I took the grim task of collecting Benji's things as well as his body, knowing that I could sneak out, even if the others left me.

    After a few minutes of desperate combat, they had defeated the scyther and her minions. We then made our way out of the woods, and headed south to Norwick, to bring him back if he was willing.

    The journey was slow, and sad.

    Eventually we got there, and went into the healers to watch over him for the night, and pray for his soul.

    The next morning, Gilda called him back. He was weak, and pale, but alive. I gave him his things, and he went to have a rest. I wish there was something I could do for him, he died to protect me. If he hadn't sent me out of melee when he did, I would have fallen instead of him.

    I owe him my life.


  • The Ninteenth of Alturiak, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Sunny

    Well, I guess I can chalk this one down to experience, and preferring to see the best in people rather than what's actually there.

    I saw Dietrick today, he came and sat down with me and Anju as we were talking, said he wanted to talk to me about the training that I was giving him in discernment.

    After only one lesson, he tells me that he doesn't want to continue, that the exercise I gave him to do makes everything feel dead to him.

    Then, he tells me that he wants to keep calling me Scuttle because it reminds him of a badger, and that that's how he imagines me. A badger that keeps everything inside them, wrapped up in fur, or in my case "a bag of clothes" and then when you poke them they go insane with anger and attack.

    I'm not sure if he realises it, but he's just thrown everything about me, my training, and my philosophies back in my face. Might as well have hit me in the gut.

    At this stage, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm considering quitting the Dragoons, I know I don't want to work under him any longer, and I sure don't want to have to deal with him on a day to day basis.

    I'll sleep on it for now though.


  • The Seventh of Alturiak, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Norwick
    Weather: Raining

    Been so busy this last month with the Sisterhood, recruiting ladies and helping them train, getting them used to working in the Grapevine… and raising coin for our various projects.

    There's a lady who's been joining us on our training runs, but she's not a Sister. Her name's Arlinn. She's a lovely lady, but a little bit unhinged. She assures me that it's the price she has to pay for the power she has, but I worry about her anyway.

    I need to approach her about joining the Sisterhood. She helped us secure the rice for the kitchen, as well as everything else that she's done... she definitely deserves the chance to join.

    Anyway, had a real scare yesterday. I was in the gnoll woods on a training run with Shade, Reriana, Silmiel, Kresha, and Julinda. Arlinn turned up at some point, it's hard to tell because she spends so much time invisible. But I digress.

    We had fought our way through the first section of their woods, and were in the second, tougher section. One of the scythers caught sight of us, and went to engage the others, ignoring me completely. Well, that was her mistake, wasn't it? I jumped up and did a spinning axe kick to the head, knocking it out cold, leaving the others free to pound on it until it died.

    When we found the second scyther, I wasn't so lucky.

    I went to engage it like before, but this one must have noticed what happened to it's cousin, because it went straight for me, and ignored everyone else. The hatred in it's eyes burnt like a flame, trying to vaporise me where I stood. But, I held my ground and took it on.

    Two hits from it started me bleeding, then it brought the scythe around in a massive arc and cut my gut in two.

    Instantly I fell to the ground, my stomach almost falling out the wound as I struggled to hold it and my intestines in as well as stay conscious. Thankfully, one of the ladies managed to get some magical healing into me to close the wound so I could drag myself back away from it's reach.

    Yeah, not a big fan of the scythers now.

    In any case, a few healing magics later and I was back up and on my feet, just about as good as new. Just hope there's no long lasting consequences from taking such a hit.

    We continued on in our training, defeating many gnolls and honing our skills together. We also managed to raise two thousand gold for the new orphanage in the docks district, so all in all it was a good day. Reriana has done so much work with us, helping us all train... she doesn't know I know, but she's given thousands of gold of her own money towards the orphanage. I've put her name up for promotion to Big Sister, I think she deserves it.

    And I have to say, other than the training work we've been doing, and the plague in Peltarch, life has been pretty peaceful for me lately.

    I pray it continues that way.

  • The Halfling Defence League

    deleted, meant as a pm 😛


  • The First of Hammer, 1508 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: A secret grotto (not telling where!)
    Weather: Pleasantly warm and dry

    It's been nearly six months since I could write in my diary, and so much has happened in that time. After I wrote my last entry, I gave it to Alexi and told him he could read it, that I didn't want any secrets between us. He chuckled a little, but took it and sat there reading it for a while.

    He only gave it back to me today, that cheeky man! And with a picture on the last page that he drew himself… you'll need to flick through to the end if you want to see it.

    Anyway, where to begin...

    I know. Maya left. The lady who had been the head of the Sisterhood in the absence of Miss Nicahh. She made the choice to move on, to start a new chapter in her life. I wish her the best of luck and the best of health, but I will definitely miss her.

    In her place, Miss Marty has been name the new Leader. But... she's away on business... and she doesn't know when she'll be able to return. So... I made the decision to step in for now and run things until she gets back. It's been a lot of hard work, and a lot of time and energy, but I think it's having results. We're up to twelve sisters now, and although I don't see all of them all the time, I know that we're all doing our best for one another.

    I hope Marty comes back soon. I miss her, and I know that she'll do a much better job than I can with the ladies, I've still got so much to learn and so many things to experience before I think I can do the job justice.

    Sister Shade has done so much since she joined... she's even taken the initiative and started a soup kitchen in the Peltarch Docks for the poor and homeless. Everyone's been doing their best to chip and and help, whether it be gathering food, serving in the kitchen itself, or arranging for contracts for the supplies we need. She's also been liasing with the various authorities, and in general, working tirelessly to get things done.

    I have to admit that she makes me feel bad with how hard she works, and how much she gets done. I feel like I'm always trying to catch up with the Grapevine, and to look after the Sisters as they travel around, let alone a new venture like the soup kitchen.

    It would have been four months ago now, when I had the most scary thing in my entire life happen. There was an attack on Peltarch by some troop of kobolds that seemed to be stronger and more powerful than any orc or gnoll I'd seen before, let alone any kobold.

    During the attack I nearly died, so did Alexi.

    Afterwards, he collapsed with exhaustion, his essence drained almost completely. Panicking, I tried to take him to Norwick to the healers, so that he could recover with herbal remedies instead of people trying to use magic on him.

    But Nure wanted to help. And so did Dietrick. So then there are three of us carrying him to the boat. Then some stupid woman cast a healing spell on him, sending him into convulsions.

    We made it to Norwick, albeit barely. I managed to get rid of Dietrick, but Nure just wouldn't leave us alone.

    It took three days for me to bring Alexi back from the brink... but bring him back I did. I have never been so scared in all my life, as when I saw him drifting at death's door. I'm not sure how Senria managed to deal with it, if it happened as often as Alexi says it did in the past.

    And when he came back... I kissed him. I kissed him like I've always wanted to, like I dream about doing. I shouldn't have, but it was all I could do to restrain myself from dragging him off to the inn to keep him to myself for a week.

    At first he was upset, but then he calmed down and realised what had happened. I think he finally understands how I feel about him.

    He and I and Nure celebrated after that, in the Valley. We had some sweet things, and romped around at the edge of the water. Alexi also decided that Nure can be part of the family too, because she cared so much for him that she would stay with him, regardless of what happened.

    So now I have a sister, in two ways. She's a Little Sister in the Sisterhood, as well as being my sister in mine and Alexi's family. But the relationship I have with Alexi is special... something that no-one else has, and that no-one else can share.

    Oh, there was a festival in the Silver Valley too, probably a month after that. I got to run a food and drink stall, so there was lots of cooking and brewing for me... even placed a special order with Damarra for more coffee so I could serve it up there. My food was a big hit! I was able to make over seven hundred coin for the Silver Valley, so I feel like I did well. And there was lots of happy faces, and a lot of kind words said.

    That day I found out that Miss Kresha is a Sister too, as well as a Priestess of Sharess called Silmiel! If ladies keep turning up with robes we'll have an overflowing inn soon! And I think that would be just grand.

    Anyway, after the festival I headed back to the Grapevine to do some paperwork. I was about to get down to it when there was a knock at the door. I opened it, and standing there was one of the Hin Fist Dragoons from the Valley. Turns out that Dietrick kept his word, when he told me that he would arrange for me to spar with one of them.

    Long story short, we went back to the Valley, into the Four Winds Dojo. We faced off against one another, and she ripped me apart.

    I've never met a hin fist monk so strong. Every punch was like a hammer blow into my chest or my head, and her gloves were mighty in their enchantment. At the end of it, I was lying on the mat dazed and confused, and she was standing above me, hardly breaking a sweat.

    I just don't believe how strong she was.

    After the sparring session, Dietrick took me outside and told me that the reason he arranged for the training session was so that he could see if I was as strong as I claimed to be, and that if I was, he would have put me in charge of the Hin Fist Dragoons. But... I failed that test, so for now I would have to train harder and see if I could someday try again.

    Anyway, a week later I was in Peltarch chatting with people when Sister Shade asked me to come with her to negotiate the rice supply contract. Dietrick asked to tag along, and several others came with us, including a nice new tallie called Holli, Arlinn, Nora, and Alexi.

    We got to Oscura, and Sister Shade and I are trying to negotiate for the rice with Yuki, when some sailors nearby start talking about how one of them slit a hin's throat and dumped him overboard. Now, I know that sailors like to talk crap, but it still made my blood boil.

    And here I was, on official guild business. The ONE time I can't do anything about it. The sailors looked like the same ones that were slaving for elves on the Icelace before, so I knew exactly what to look out for, as well as who.

    Dietrick went over to talk to them in his normal manner, at which point I knew that things could go very, very badly. So I tried to ignore the situation as best I could, and yet take in as much information about what they were talking about as I could.

    Yuki told us that the Kuo-tua had stolen a shipment of rice, and that if we could recover it, it would be ours, but in order to arrange for a permanent bulk shipment, I'd need the word of a Blooded to do so.

    I nodded my thanks and moved on, grabbing the others who would come with me, and I let Dietrick know that we were moving on. He wasn't impressed at that, but I don't think he understood why I did what I did at the time.

    Once I had them all out of the district, I went back and continued negotiating, eventually Miss Arlinn told me that she was a Blooded and would give word for us... so we negotiated the rice contract for four thousand, two hundred gold per year, with a fifty pound bag of rice per month.

    Once that was done, we went west, and out the gate into the Underdark, to the lair of the Kuo-tua. Dietrick was devastating in combat, a terror to behold. The others mainly provided ranged support and picked up what trinkets they could find.

    Eventually we got through to the deeper caves, where the tougher ones lived. They seemed to be enjoying their meal of rice when we found them... and they went down very quickly to Dietrick's sword.

    A hundred pounds of rice later, and we were on our way out, when Dietrrick started verbally abusing me, saying how I didn't care about the hin that the soldiers had murdered, that I was a disgrace to the Dragoon name...

    I told him that I did care, and tried to explain why I did what I did, and what I would be doing from here... but he wouldn't listen to me. In the end, I'd had enough of his ramblings and I handed him back my badge, resigning from the HDL

    Well, that set him off. He grabbed me by the throat, and lifted me off the ground, yelling and screaming profanities at me, telling me how I had no honour, and how I was a failure and a disgrace, and a coward. But, I didn't fight him. I didn't try and escape.

    Because I was in the right, not him, and to react how he wants me to, would be to give up my own honour. It would be admitting that he was right. And it would give him no reason to pause and reconsider his actions later.

    Alexi stepped in to try and defend me, so did the others... but Dietrick wouldn't listen to them. Instead, he threw me away from him and punched me until I fell to the ground, gasping for breath.

    And still I did not fight him, or even try to defend myself.

    At that point, the others stepped in, enraged by his actions. I begged them to leave him alone, but they were determined to try and defend me. They fell just as I had.

    At that point, I tried to tell him how far he had fallen, what he had just done. That he had thrown away his honour, for attacking one of his own, without justification, without honour.

    So he hit me again, and again.

    I passed out.

    Later on, I woke up in the Shiney Coppers, with everyone but Dietrick with me. They looked beat up, but at least we were all alive.

    Alexi then told me that I had suffered brain bruising. If he hadn't been there to tend to me straight away, I could have died. The others were furious about what Dietrick had done, and upset at themselves that they were not able to avenge me.

    After a few more days of resting, we made our way out of Oscura. I managed to hobble my way to Kinte, my pony, and headed north to see Sister Shade before I returned to the Grapevine.

    She came out of the city for me, and told me that Dietrick was looking for me.

    So I rode south straight away, and managed to make it to the Grapevine without passing out, praise the gods.

    It must have been hours later when I was woken up by a knock on the door. It was Arlinn. Dietrick had convinced her that he was genuinely sorry for what happened in the Underdark, and that he wanted to apologise.

    I rose, unsteadily, got dressed, and went down to see him. I might not like the man, or trust him, but I will at least hear him out, I thought to myself.

    He asked if we could speak in private, to which I agreed.

    So we went up to one of the meeting rooms, and he told me that he had failed in his duty, in his honour. And that he needed to atone for it, in the only way he knew how.

    So he took off his breastplate, and took out four daggers. He then proceeded to stab himself with them, one at a time, and then to leave them in his chest.

    Each dagger was for one of the ways that he had failed.

    We talked a bit then, and I made him understand why I acted in the way I did, from when we first heard the sailors, to when he had me on the ground, beating on me whilst I refused to defend myself. I told him he was like a weapon, without a purpose, with a will to guide it and the discernment to know friend from foe.

    And he agreed with me, and told me that he was a poor leader, and a poor captain.

    In the end, I agreed to his request, to train him in discernment and wisdom, and how to see the truth in a situation. So that he can be a better leader. And so that things like this won't happen again.

    I took back my badge, and I took back my position. And we parted on amicable terms.

    It's going to take a lot for me to trust him fully again, and I'm not sure if the pain from what happened will ever pass, to be so misjudged by my superior and to be nearly killed because he can't control himself…

    After that, I rested for a week to recover from my wounds, and then I made the trip home in secret, with Alexi. Our friend mage sent us there, and gave us a token to use when we wish to return.

    I don't want to go into too much detail now... the memory is still too close and too painful. But, I will say this. I went through the testing, to confirm that my training was complete, and I passed. But they refused my service. The elders told me that I was too weak to serve, and that I was free to come or go as I chose, but my place was not here, defending the village. And my parents turned away from me.

    So we returned home. Maybe another time I'll write about what happened there in full... but for the moment I think I need to let it rest.

    Since then I've spent a little time training Dietrick, and getting to know him better. He's a hard one to understand... because he doesn't think like a hin at all. He tells me that's because he only found out he was a hin when he got to this realm, that he never knew his real family.

    We talked for hours and hours, out on the island in the middle of the lake in the Rawlins. Not what I would have called the best spot to perch, but I guess any port in a storm will do.

    Alexi keeps poking me, saying that he'll be amused if Dietrick and I become a couple... but I can't see that ever happening. I think I would rather choke to death on my own tongue than have him as my husband.

    Since then I've been spending time with Alexi, just the two of us alone. It's been months since we've been able to do that, we didn't even get the chance when we were away together.

    He's laying beside me as I write this, relaxing with his head on my lap. He wanted to bring me to this grotto, to show me how beautiful it is, to share it with me. I'm glad that few people know about it, it keeps it special, and private.

    We talked a lot today, about all kinds of things. Family, friends, other people that we meet...

    We played a lot too. To be able to relax and be myself, away from prying eyes, is a pleasure I get all too rarely nowadays. I know Alexi feels the same way, and to be able to be ourselves together is just so very, very special.

    We also talked a little about Senria again. He still pines for her... but no-one's heard from her, or seen her in a while now. I hope she's okay... it would break his heart if something has happened to her. He even said that if Senria comes back, and she's willing to, that we could share him. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but I have to say that if I was offered that option, I think I'd take it over not having him at all.

    Ah, the things we do for love.


  • The Seventh of Flamerule, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    Today was a good day. I'm still not sure where things will go in the future, but Alexi and I had a good talk, down on the beach on the edge of the Icelace.

    I apologised to him for what I had said when I broke down, and he told me that it was okay, that he prefers total honesty between the two of us.

    So, I told him everything. Everything.

    I've never felt this way about anyone before. He's a good man, but more than that, he's a kind man. Even though his burdens are greater than mine, he still cares deeply for me. Even though he is still married, he loves me and does so in a way that means he stays true to her.

    I'm not sure if I can continue with my training. I'm not sure if I'll be able to return when my family sends for me. I'm not sure about anything anymore except for one thing.

    I love him. There, I said it. I love him like I've never loved anyone before, like I never thought I could love anyone. It's like a flame inside me, burning me up, muddling my thoughts and controlling me. That part of me that was supposed to die when I defeated her with Master Dwarf, she is inside me now and is loving every second of it.

    I want to be with him, more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life.

    But, he says that he loves me as much as he loves Senria, and as much as he loves the rest of his family. Just that he won't bed me. And that's okay, I'm not even sure how that would work, or if it could work without magics.

    He's promised to never leave me, to stay by my side always. And for now, I'm happy with that. I've told him that one day I want to have kids, I want to have a home with him, and I want to be with him forever.

    But, his service to his people comes ahead of what he wants for himself. And he's married to Senria. And I have my service to my people as well.

    Why must everything be so complicated? No one knows what the future holds, so I'll take what I have now, and be grateful. But I hope, and I pray, with every ounce of my being, that one day we will have a home together.

    In public though, we need to watch our actions. Others don't understand him, and why he does things the way he does. And almost no-one would understand the way we feel about one another. Everything that we have worked for individually could be thrown away because of this.

    It feels like whenever we're trying to spend time together talking, others just walk up and invite themselves into the conversation. Darius even walked up and sat down at the table with us yesterday when we were having a quiet breakfast together. He didn't ask, he just sat down and interrupted what we were doing. And then Julinda did the same!

    Realising that any hope I had for privacy with him was now lost for the day, so I excused myself and headed south to spend time with the Sisters, to try and lose myself in the monotony of the work.

    But for now, I feel complete. And that is worth everything to me.


  • The Twentythird of Kythorn, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    It's been a little over a year since I died and returned now. Those scars still haven't healed, and I'm not sure they ever will. The physical scars still remind me of my foolishness, and the mental scars flare up whenever I get myself in over my head.

    I was up in Peltarch when I ran into Dietrick a week ago. He wanted to go and explore the orc caves. Knowing how strong he is, I decided to go alone with him so that I could see him in combat and gauge his strengths for myself.

    He fights like a man possessed. I can't think of any other way of describing it. He destroyed every orc he saw, we grabbed everything they had of value, and were about to make our way out when we ran into Adelie. She had come in for the exact same reason, so Dietrick decided to team up with her and head south to meet up with Telli. Apparently Dietrick wanted to explore Ostromog's Mines, as he'd never been there before.

    We made our way down to Norwick, and met up with Julinda, she's a musician and is very pretty for a human. Miss Telli was there too, so the five of us made our way south again, to the Rawlins and into the section of the woods controlled by the hobgoblins.

    Telli, Dietrick, and Adelie ripped through them like a gnome in a pie shop. We moved into the mines and took out all the foes in front of us, before heading deeper. There were these glowing shards down there that cursed you if you touched them, and a huge shard that spat negative energy at you if you got too close.

    Deeper and deeper we went. I was so outclassed, so underpowered, that it was all I could do to stay at the back and out of sight, in case any of the badguys decided that I might look tasty. I've never felt so useless in all of my life.

    We kept going, until we found a large spider that seemed to be surrounded by poison so strong that it weakened everyone in the group, causing their muscles to shrink like they'd just gotten really, really old. They managed to defeat that one, and so we went on.

    At what I thought would be the end of our adventure, they found a spider bigger than the Bebilith I fought before. It must have been a hundred times bigger than me!

    And so they decided that it would be fun to fight it! Fun!

    They retreated for a moment to pray for magics and blessings, prepared themselves, and damn them if they didn't kill it in less than a minute.

    I thought, this should be the end. They should be happy to head home now. But no, they wanted to continue, go as deep as they can.

    The next section contained rock critters that seemed to come out of the walls and attack, smacking everyone around. If I'd been in the middle of them, I would have died in two or three hits, without issue. And I couldn't even hit them myself!

    So they continued on, gleefully destroying everything in their path when we came across a magical looking boulder. Dietrick decided that whatever ore it was made from would make a great magical sword, and so he went to mine it.

    As soon as he touched it, he disappeared in a shower of stones. Adelie and Telli went over and touched the stone too, and they disappeared! So that left me and Julinda, alone, deep beneath the surface, in a place that we can't escape from. So, not sure if we would live or die, we went forward and touched it as well.

    Everything went black for a moment, and then there was this sensation of something pushing down on me, like the air itself became really heavy. When my vision returned, I found that I was in a place surrounded by stones. There was a few dead bodies there, presumably from people who fell due to the environment, or perhaps a wandering monster.

    Dietrick and the others started investigating. Eventually they worked out how they could move around the area, and they went exploring. They only stopped when they could go no further, and Miss Telli advised them that she was nearly out of potions AND blessings.

    I think that place we were in was the Elemental Plane of Earth.

    Anyway, we headed back as quickly as we could, fighting our way out to the surface, where we were faced with a hobgoblin and bugbear ambush.

    They defeated them all again, and continued out of the woods and back to town. I headed up to Peltarch to get some rest, and I ran into Alexi.

    I mentally collapsed at that point, and told him the whole story of what happened. He listened to me patiently, and tried to calm me while I cried on him. All of my training could not have prepared me for that adventure, deep within the earth.

    But the worst of it was that I dropped every pretense I had, and I told him how I felt about him. He took it really well, and tried to reassure me, told me that he wouldn't be leaving me alone, and that he wouldn't let me fall alone. He would always bring me back.

    Eventually he took me to the inn and put me to bed, sitting on a chair next to me, crooning quietly in sylvan.

    My dreams were bad that night, but at least I could sleep.


  • The Seventeenth of Mirtul, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    I don't think I've ever worked so hard at something that was so sedentary! I've just spent the last week helping Alexi sort out his storage chest. Apparently it's a chest that has magic bound to it so that it can store a huge number of things in a small area. I might have to see about getting one for a house one day, it would probably work really well.

    Anyway, he was getting frustrated because everything was all mixed up, and he could never find what he was looking for in a hurry. We tried all manner of sorting, but in the end we had to empty the chest and sort it out, item by item, piece by piece, and put it all back into storage boxes to then put in the chest.

    There were two things in the chest that really surprised me. One was a green set of leather armour. It was so powerful that I could feel the magic emanating from it. The other was a wedding dress.

    Alexi told me that the green leathers were a gift from a goddess. The wedding dress belongs to Senria, his wife.

    They've been apart for a long time now. He's done everything he can to try and bring her back into his life, but she's just not interested in anything but her work for Oscura. I've never met her, or even seen a picture of her.

    I don't know if there was something bad that passed between the two of them, but Alexi told me it's because they are from different worlds, and neither can make a compromise for the other. Senria is devoted to her people, and Alexi is devoted to his.

    I wish there was some way they could work it out. Alexi seems so sad when we talk about it. And it makes me feel kinda weird too, that he's married to a woman that I've never seen and may never see.

    Anyway,I think we'd been going for four days without rest when I finally passed out on the floor. By that time, I'd sorted the armours, gloves, belts, traps, weapons, cloaks, helms, and normal clothing. I was about to start on the potions when I blacked out.

    I woke up a few days later at the Dancing Mermaid. He'd paid for my room, and gone back to his work. I don't know how he does it, but there's certainly a quiet calm about him that I hope one day I can emulate myself. That, and his determination to do what he needs to do, regardless of the cost.

    Will I have the courage to do what I need to, when the time comes?


  • The Third of Tarsahk, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    I've been on a trip into the Underdark now, first time I've ever been so deep. I even found where the mindflayer met us, deep beneath the surface on the edge of an underground lake.

    I was in Peltarch when I ran into Benji. He showed me his collection of crossbows, in the hopes of making a sale. So I placed an order with him for a master's cherrywood crossbow, should he be able to find the wood to make one.

    He then asked me to come with him, as he had to go and meet a master crafter in Oscura, for a trip into the Underdark. I, of course, agreed, thinking that this was a good chance to explore somewhere that I've not really been before.

    We headed down there, and met up with a man in fullplate and a helm. Marty calls him Paul, but he took his helm off and it turns out that he's actually Rando. I always had a sneaking suspicion that he was, but this just confirmed it for me.

    Anyway, so we made our way into the Underdark, going through the Kuo-tua caves and to an area known as The Lake. Many creatures seem to live near it, either for water, or to eat the creatures that go there for water. We encountered and dispatched Umberhulks, Hooked Horrors, and even a Magic Eater before we decided to head back.

    But then, Rando found a door that led somewhere. Not knowing where it went, he of course decided that he had to go through it.

    Now, Rando is an awesome warrior, far tougher and stronger than I am. He managed to beat down everything we encountered without too much issue. But even he was challenged by the area we went into.

    It turned out to be the way into the bottom of the crypts outside of Norwick. Piecework Giants, corrupted undead, and fallen warriors assaulted us, threatening to add us to their number. Several times I thought we were all done for.

    But, in the end, we emerged tired but triumphant. We dragged our sorry selves to town, and sold what we managed to pick up for a tidy profit.

    The best part of it for me was seeing all the water down there. There were crystals in it, probably from flowing through the stones. When I shined light in there, I could see blind cave fish, and beautiful colours as the light reflected off all the crystals, basking the cave in a brilliant hue.

    If only there was a way I could share that with others.


  • The Twelth of Ches, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    And the plot gets thicker. Much, much thicker. Today was my first ever encounter with a divine being.

    I met up with some adventurers: Darius, Lady Shade, and Yng'dir. They wanted to go out to try and find that lady who ran off yesterday. So we made our way out to the orc plain, and tried to find some tracks… not that we needed to.

    Within a few minutes of us starting our search, she walked up to us, and told us that we needed to follow the right path. We, stupidly, decided to humour her and asked her to show us the right path. So she opened a portal and sucked us into the Underdark.

    There we were faced with a mindflayer, and it's minions. It spoke directly into our minds, and told us that it was a friend, that it wanted us to help it bring down Oscura. It must have used some kind of mind control, because I believed it. I did argue with it a little, as I didn't think it was making sense, but in the end I would have done what it asked if it wasn't for Yng'dir.

    He refused to do the mindflayer's bidding. To his face. And for this, he was run through with a sword by the noble lady.

    That broke the spell it had on us, and just as we were about to try and strike it down, a blinding light burst in the cavern and a winged creature appeared, sent down by Selune to aid Yng'dir. Upon seeing it, the mindflayer ran for it's life as we moved in for the kill, dispatching it's minions whilst it departed.

    Lady Shade told me that it was an archon, a servant of Selune sent in her place to aid her followers, and that one day she hoped to ascend to their ranks herself.

    The creature sent us back to the surface and restored Yng'dir to full health and vitality. We then made our way quickly to the city so that I could pass on warning to the Valley and to Peltarch, in case they weren't already aware of this development.

    The other thing that the creature told us is that as far as it knows, the Drow are working alone. They don't have any surface allies. Now, whether that was true or not, I can't say, but I hope that it is, and that the rumours that the Drow have allied with the Gypsies proves to be false.

    A war on two fronts is one that few would survive.


  • The Eleventh of Ches, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: Peltarch
    Weather: Raining

    The last day has been very interesting, and a little worrying. I met up with some adventurers who wanted to explore the Orc Caves. I tagged along, figuring that I can do merchant duty (ie. carry all the loot) whilst they go about butchering everything that moves.

    We made our way into the cave and through to the first open room where the orcs seem to congregate. Everything was going well until they encountered what I found out later was a Were-cat. They slew it, and instantly things started going wrong. Some of them started acting like wild animals, sniffing the air and trying to work out with their senses what was happening…

    Siegurd seemed to retreat inside himself, as if something shatteringly wrong had happened to him. I don't understand it at all, but maybe his god got upset with him for some reason?

    Anyway, we left the cave and were heading back to town when we came across a human lady noble. She was wearing tattered clothing and had a sword in her hands, although I doubt she knew how to use it.

    I think it was Darius, he did something that spooked her, and she ran off. We gave chase to try and help her because she seemed to be out of it, mentally at least.

    We never found her, but Siegurd broke down and sat in a ball, crying, whilst Darius and another human got upset that Lady Shade wanted to try and cure them of a curse from the Were-cat.

    All in all, there was a lot of arguing and a lot of bad feeling going on, all because they had to attack first and ask questions later.

    I will never understand some people.


  • The Ninth of Alturiak, 1507 by Dale Reckoning

    Location: The Silver Valley
    Weather: Sunny

    It's my birthday again today, I'm Nineteen now. I've still got another eleven years until I'll be considered to be an adult by the folks back home, but everyone here seems to accept me as one anyway.

    I've spent the last week with Alexi, travelling between the different towns and making sales. Some folk are interested in the different alcohols he has, others in his arrows, and others still in the different clothing he has available.

    It's certainly interesting to see how everyone reacts when he says that 'm his bodyguard. Most look at him to check if he's serious, and when they can see that he is, they look at me with a degree of caution, as if I must be incredibly dangerous even though I'm smaller than them.

    For my birthday though, he took me to the Gypsy Woods so I could meditate at the waterfalls there.

    We beat back the spiders and made our way through until we got there, and for once he guarded me while I relaxed and tried to focus my thoughts, reflecting on the nature of water and the power it holds.

    And yet, my thoughts wouldn't go there. They kept returning to him.

    My master back at the monastery told me of a great secret handed down to him by his master. Everything in life, everything in this world and the next, is a circle. And within each of us is a circle, but it is broken.

    In order to complete the circle, we must find the missing piece, find what it is that makes it whole. And when I find the piece, whether it be an item, a person, a place, or a feeling or memory, that I will be completed and able to master everything so that i might become a master myself.

    For him, the thing that completed his circle was a memory: an event in his past where he found the truth of his own walk, that the act of seeking for it was the completion of the circle.

    When I speak of finding my Way, I'm seeking for the piece of the circle that completes me.

    And I think I know what it is, but it flies in the face of everything that I've learnt, of everything that I thought to be true.

    I was taught by my parents that hin marries hin. I was taught by my master that monks do not take partners. I was taught by master dwarf that I must defeat my emotions to be able to progress in my training.

    Until now, I never questioned the wisdom of these things.

    Could it be that the missing piece of my soul is a human?