3. A cut branch...

A cut branch...


  • Life never was easy. Not when I learned of my mothers death, nor when I saw my father get consumed by too much drink. Strange…. I never thought of myself as a person who needed pity, needed help. For I trusted my soul to Mother Mystra, who always was there to guide me, to do my best at keeping Nature the way it should be.

    A week ago, I met Sir Calen. He sensed there was something “wrong” with me. He lured me into telling him what bugged me. I told him about a book I found at Shady’s. The brown tome enscribed with golden print " The book of the Gods" was in one of my bags. He asked me what troubled me. I bit my tongue hard, as I said to him I was having doubts about my patron. Ow, I get mad at myself when I’m tricked into saying too much.

    He turned all inquisitive on me with that polished smile. I just managed to close the door on him, afraid of being judged, afraid of even speaking out loud my own thoughts. In a last attempt, he had the nerve to tell me it would straighten out my mind if I told him about it. Nah, he doesn’t even know me. That’s too friggin’ up close ‘n personal. Still, it’s bugging me ever since. I hope I can straighten my mind on my own, writing this...

    ®


  • Last night, I got called "sir" in front of my old friend Celebring. He couldn't help but smile a little, saying he thought it funny, seeing it from his angle. Surprised I asked him, "you been called a misses before?" He shrugged, "Dwarves do it all the time, and half-orcs."

    "Aw, my luck, for being half elf, half human, it's often tid-for-tad."

    "Nothing wrong with that", he told me. Then he changed the subject abruptly and asked me "Who's your patron?"

    I blinked and told him "Fenmarel".

    "Interesting" he mused. "Have you ever considered joining us?"

    "Why? The Seldarine? I wouldn't know if I were welcome."

    "Yes, the Shesae. I've always known you to be one that holds Elven values close to her heart. If you were welcomed, would you consider it?"

    My heart skipped a beat, before I answered. "Sure I would. Ever since you taught me to speak Elven and gotten me connected to my roots. I was unsure though."

    Surprised, he asked me "Why?", so I explained him that I was given a holy symbol of Mystra when I was young. I also told him about my latest feelings about how this cut branch could be more than some arrows, a staff or even a bow, and that Fenmarel made me see that it's what -I- make of my life.

    He just said he'd speak with the others about becoming a member of the Shesae. I asked him if I'd be looked at differently because of my fathers heritage. He assured me that all Elven and half-Elven followers of the Seldarine could join as equals, a Shesae…

    Needless to say, I felt as if some pieces of me fell in the right place that evening, though it started off a bit queer.


  • I collected some deadwood on my way back to the crafter's hall in Jiyyd.
    My mind was still pondering Master Z's words as I took three branches of a deadwood tree on my way over.

    I wonder if the gods would like me to be a log, some arrows, a staff or a bow? A log is how I felt when I had to leave the Wolves…

    Starts fletching the boards she made of the logs. Afterwards she sits and scribbles further in her journal.

    These 19 arrows only go a little while. A staff's more sturdy, yet a bow could hold off inquisitive noses from a distance…

    No.

    Today, I'm a bow. Tomorrow, I'll be a bow still. I'll learn how to take care of myself, just as Fenmarel did. Let Mystra help those that bend the weave. I shouldn't bother her.

    The day I made my bow, I knew. This is the new me. With all my heart. Fenmarel, shoot me down with an arrow drenched in mortal poison if ye don't allow me to uphold your name....


  • The appeal by Master Z had gone unnoticed. I was at the heartfires early, as did he. He told the members he was thinkin about headin' down to the Cold Caves. Since no-one else came, we ended up talking. I asked him who his patron was. And Chauntea lead our little talk to nature and the wilds.

    I told him that I like nature, and I always had the impression Mother Mystra was my guide. He guessed my predicament and asked if I was having second thoughts.

    Well, not second, but thoughts, yeah, I answered him. I'm like a cut branch, makin' it on my own, but not yet a bow, so to speak.

    He nodded and told me to just follow my heart and trust my gut, since they would lead me in the right direction. Who knows, maybe you were meant to be a staff, not a bow.

    I feel most comfortable using a bow and walking the lands, setting Nature straight and help the travellers getting through without harm

    He shared his wisdom by telling me that that's what I should do…


  • Today, I wandered and found myself watching the wolves West of Silver Valley. Small disagreements between the lesser wolves were quickly put aside by the pack leader. A great grey wolf with large fangs. Impressive. I followed them around. The alpha clearly deciding which way the pack had to go. Nature's best.

    They encountered a loner. A shabby looking, skinny wolf. It got chased off to protect the pack. My heart raced as I saw the outsider make an escape. Poor thing, condemned to find prey on it's own. A bit sad I follow the single wolf. See him lick the ice. No meal for him this evening…