(Glunk) Diary of a war-priest
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((The diary seems to be cured hides, written on with charcoal and crayon))
Day 1:Well, dis is a turn about an' no mistake! I been wanderin round lookin for place to sleep for long time now… I go sleep near trees an' guard come along, poke me wiv halberd an' say "Move along, we don't like your kind here". I gets up an' moves, he watches me goes. Been doin this for month, mebbe more.
Den I sittin in da commons in Peltarch, an' a half-orc comes 'long, in big shiny red armors! He sees me, and he slaps me on da shoulder so hards it nearly breakses it!
"Wot wrong kin?" He askes me, his voice rattling 'round in his helmet, all spikey like.
"I gots no home, no clan, an' I can't leaves da city, or da hobbers will eat me!" I tells him with a wail.
"Dat not a problem! I Thuggrim da Crimson, high priest of Garagos, an' da hobbers runs away from me!"
I looked up at him, an' he sure was strong….
"Yoo follows Garagos? Me heard about him, start prayin to him an' stuff, he make me stronger than other clan members, so dey kicked me out!"
He nodded, and offered me his wrist in support.
"Den yoo comes wiv me, an we gets yoo equipped. Yoo can be my 'pprentice!"
I got up and wents with him. He gave Glunk a suit of big shiny armors, an' a helm an' a shield, an' a sword.
Den we leave da city, an' we got hunt hobbers! Dey runs from him! He big an' strong an' stuff, an' he calls down da blessings from Garagos! He laughs as he bashes dem wiv his big hammer, and dey all go splat.
After we done killing all da hobbers, he takes me to a big cave entrance.
"Dis is da way to Oscura. It Thuggrims home, an' now it be Glunks home too."
"Really? Dey will 'ccept me?"
"Yus! Yoo is kin, and Thuggrim will vouch for yoo, say yoo follow da law"
"Law? I not like laws, what dis law?"
"It like clan law. Yoo defend da clan, an' yoo not talk bad about da clan, an' yoo not betray da clan"
I nodded "Dis guud law, I kin follows it"
We went in to Oscura, an' he showed me around. Dere's a great smith here, an' Thuggrim says he gonna teach Glunk to mine! An' there's a smith who kin make swords all spikey an' stuff, an' dere's slavers an' stuff… Me like Oscura.
Anyways, I took da oath, an' I got my rag, dey say it prove I a citizen. So I tucks it 'neath my breastplate.
So den Thuggrim took me to da pass again, an' we sat on a ledge an' threw rocks at da hobbers. An' Thuggrim taught me 'bout Garagos.
"Garagos is big an' strong, he got like 8 arms, an' dey all have a longsword in dem"
"Really? Wow! I wants to wield a longsword too!"
"Well, we gets yoo one, when yoo strong enough to takes it."
I askeded him about dat, but he not say any more about da sword. So I left it for da moment.
"Like I said, Garagos is big an' strong. He calls us to be big an' strong too. But not just in actions… but in thoughts and ideals too."
"Wot yoo mean?"
"Well, just cos yoo bigger an' strongerer, doesn't mean yoo should go an' takes stuff from ovvers."
"Why nots?"
"Cos if yoo does, den dey comes after yoo wiv dere friends, and dey runs yoo out of town an' burns your face wiv acid"
As he saided this, Thuggrim took off his helmet. Yipes!
"Yoo face is all melted!"
"Yus. Dey runned me out of town, an' threw acid at me. It all melted now, so I not prutty. But I not need to be prutty, jus' big an' strong"
"Why dey do dat?"
"Cos I took what I wanted, an' dey not like it"
Me thought on dis for a while.
"So, if yoo not take from ovvers cos yoo stronger, how yoo get treasures and stuff?"
"Well, yoo not takes from peoples. Dey gets upset. But if yoo kills stuff dey don't like, like da hobbers, or da fishies near Oscura, or da gobbos, den dey not mind. Sometimes, dey helps yoo do it, and gives yoo stuff for it."
Me nodded. Dis makes sense!
He continued "An' all da blood we spill, an' dat ovvers spill wiv us, helps bring Garagos back to dis world"
"So we should 'help' da peoples wiv all da stuff dat hurtses dem?"
"Yus! Yoo learn quick, 'pprentice!"
Me smiled at Thuggrim, for me think that dis was gonna turn out guud
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Day 10:
Wells, Thuggrim been training me lots. It hard works, an' no mistake! First fing we does each morning, is says prayers to Garagos, askin for strength an' guidance. When we done sayin prayers, we goes out to get offerings for Garagos….
Thuggrim, wot does Garagos want for offerings? Me offer meats an' coin an' stuff… but he not seem to wants it.
Thuggrim laughed, da sound echoing around in him helmet
Dat cos Garagos not care 'bout silly fings like food an' coin. He want us to keep dat for ourselves. Wot he want, is blood.
Blood? Whose blood?
Anyones blood. If it spilt in battle by his followers, den it make him stronger. Your blood, my blood, dere blood… It all works.
So he like it when we bleeds?
Yus! It make yoo closer to him.
Wot if yoo fight sumthin too strong, an' yoo not able to make it bleed?
He scratched his head for a moment.
Wells, den yoo has to bleed. It same way wiv penance. If yoo fail Garagos, den he ask for penance in blood.
Yoo ever fail Garagos Thuggrim?
He nods.
Yus. When I was young, I fought ever'one who looked at me funny. Won most of da fights, too. But dere was dis one farker, a tempus dog. He trip me over when I run at him, and den him an' his friends all beat on me.
I nodded quietly.
Wot did yoo have to do?
I wented out an' found da biggest, meanest farker I could, an' I killeded him. His blood was my penance. Garagos not care who bleed, long as it spilled in battle in his name.
But.. wot if yoo had lost?
Den he would have killeded me. But my penance would be paid, in my own blood.
I nodded again, as Thuggrim hefted his hammer, an' charged wiv a scream into da hobbers.
Da conversation ended, I joined him in da blood fury.
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Day 5:
Well, lots has happenedededed since last write in diary. Thuggrim and Glunk have been travellin. We seen all kinds of stuff, from da squeakers near Peltarch, an' da gobbos near Norwick, to da wolves an' glowy balls near Jiyyd. Da glowy balls bite, but when yoo gots blessings from Garagos, dey only tickles.
Some peoples like Thuggrim, he gots friends, like Miss Nicahh, an' Master Z. Master Z is a big time crafter, he makeses all kinds of stuff. Like armour and things. Thuggrim is 'pprenticed to Master Z for mining and stuff, so he learnin from him. Master Z says I not learn from Glunk 'til he is a master too, so I watches Master Z do da mining, an' pick up tips. When dey finished mining, I gets to carry da ore, an' looks out for polar bears and scary penguwins. Dey kinda funny lookin, da penguwins, but dey bite really hard. Glunk not like them, they not even taste good.
After da mining trip, Thuggrim showed me how he turn da ore into metal, to use to make stuff. It interesting, but I not understands. Why does melting rock make it into hot water? An' how does dat water turn into sword? My sword not made of water…
He said it's all because of... "Metamorphosis", whatever dat means. I think its a big word dat means "Turning stuff into hard water". How you use hard water, I dunno. It all weird.
Anyways, we went huntings, and got some deer for dinner. Yay! Thuggrim showeded me da white stag, an' told me to never hurt him, cos he special. I not understand why, but me nod and agree. He probably not taste any good anyways.
Den we wents lookin for somethings he called "lizzards". Dey sure were big! An' dey used swords and shields and stuff... dey not like Thuggrim, so he smacks them around. Dere was a big one, an' Thuggrim called him out, tol' him to come an' fight!
He comes out, an' he got a big sword! It a long sword, like what Garagos uses! He an' Thuggrim fights for a while, den Thuggrim crushes his head in. He takes da sword, and puts it in his bag.
Thuggrim, why he got dat sword?
Well, da leader of da clan wields dis sword. It was his, now it mine an' I sells it. Da smelly droods prob'ly give it back to da clan laters.
So it a sword of power?
Yus, an' if yoo strong enough, one days yoo will kill him, an' take dis sword for yourself. For now, it not yours. Yoo not earnt it.
I nodded, an' followed him. He sings a funny song as we goes back to Norwick.
Gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold….
I fink he likes gold.
