Burdens to Bear - Stories of an Elven Mage
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I firmly believe that every individual in this world has a burden to bear; a weight to pull, in order to bring their society and the world to a better age. This burden is a responsibility to the future and our children, as we do not own our world, but instead are merely keeping it for future generations. When someone doesn’t bear this burden, they put their burden upon another; someone must pick up the slack, those people who pick the slack become leaders and heroes of their community. It is damaging is when people actively work against the common good; they heap burden after burden upon heroes and average folks in order to fulfill their own selfish desires.
But enough philosophy, dear readers this is a collection of my adventures and thoughts, not a philosophy book; for those who have not read the cover, my name is Aramuil Holimion, of a variety of titles. I have compiled this set of stories and thoughts from my weekly journal into a compendium intended to tell, not only the story of my life in Narfell, but also to teach the reader something of the way a civilized and mannered mage should act. If nothing else, I hope that the reader takes away from this a desire to travel themselves, inspired to explore like I was by similar books when I was studying. Read on, dear reader, and try to determine what my burdens are.
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Anger
I don't believe I've ever sworn to kill a being before this day; I dont' believe I've sworn vengeance, or just if you want to call it that, upon an individual. Silus, however, now is the target of just such an oath on my part; if my mind happens to wander to him, I can't help but feel anger. Me, anger…not just the "I'm a little bothered" type of anger, but the murderous type. I don't like this, and so I'm going to aim to control my emotions, next meeting.I suppose I have a "right" to be angry, Silus has likely caused a great deal of evil upon many individuals. He knows a great deal, yet demands gold, items of power and other things to give such information. Yet, to desire to have someone or something dead, sheerly for the desire to see them dead, doesn't entirely sit right with me. My ethics are challenged by a devil, but I suppose if any would test them, it would be such.
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Power
Cherry, my dearest love, and I are now married and bonded; the marriage blessed by Selune, and the ceremony of binding blessed by Corellon; Cherry and I just came back from our honeymoon in a beautiful resort in Calimshan. While there, I must admit, I was fully content and happy; content to lay upon that beach and soak in the sun with her, satisfied in swimming and splashing in the crystal waters with her and happy to make love beneath the moon in the house we stayed in. When I left, I felt true regret; for that one moment in time I briefly considered the idea of just staying there forever. I have the money and ability to do so; I could have just sold some magical services on occasion in Calimshan when I needed more coin for food and the like. But ultimately, I cast teleport and whisked us back to Narfell; I made the less pleasant and happy of two choices, I took myself back to a place that requires me to kill, to sweat and to bleed.Some readers might be mystified, but I am not; for the ultimate answer is I have power, which means I have a duty to use it responsibly, to put it to use in the aid of my fellows on this plane called Toril. Power is the gift I receive for my study and my efforts in magic; not all can access this power, tap into it and shape it to their will, in fact few can and even fewer will receive the training necessary to awaken and sharpen their powers. To use my powers for my own wealth and happiness, without working to give the same to others, would ultimately be a selfish action; I would be spitting upon everything I believe as a follower of the Seldarine.
Not only that, but I have friends in Narfell who need my help; and the people of Norwick depend upon me to advise and defend them. It's true, if I left, some other would likely take over in my place; but that doesn't make the immediate need of those in Narfell any less desperate, and could any really pick up where I would leave off with Silus, the daemons and so many other things? The time Cherry and I spend together may indeed be precious to me and I would not trade all the power in Toril for it; but ultimately I have made a choice, and that choice requires that I sacrifice time that I would rather spend with her. I am a mage, I have power; so I have responbility.
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Mace
The execution of Mace weighs heavily upon my mind; I realize that he brought this upon himself, he chose to kill twelve people in a desperate bid to bring his only son back and in the process summoned the obyrith. Recalling his crimes does not make me feel any less guilty, however, to more or less sentence a man to execution is a feeling I find I do not enjoy, no matter the transgression; I could have lied, I suppose, but that would only delay the inevitable or cause further pain if he harmed someone else because the obyrith told him it would bring his son back.I simply feel that I should have been able to do something about it; nevermind that most of the events leading up to this happened long before I came to Narfell. Perhaps I have developed some sort of belief that I am omnipotent; or that I should be. Perhaps the ultimate lesson I should take from this is that I must work to prevent things like this in the future.
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Tel'Quessir (To Be Elven)
The first burden that every elf that follows the Seldarine is simply to be elven; it is not as easy as it is for the other races. To be an elf is to uphold thousands of years of unbroken culture and history; it is to realize that you must understand the past in ways that others do not, you must view things in the long, rather than the short. Your lifespan will most likely outlast that of every non-elf you currently know; your lifespan is also likely already longer than the lifespan of most non-elves you know. You have seen more and understand more than those around you, and you shall only continue to see and understand more as the centuries pass; it is a great deal of power, and it must be used wisely.What's more, pinning down exactly what it is to be elven is difficult; no two elves exactly agree on what it is to be Tel'Quessir, you simply know it when you see it. All Tel'Quessir are tied to each other, if so ever faintly, so that we can sense the moods and, if the bond is strong enough, the emotions and occasionally the thoughts of other Tel'Quessir around us; and yet we are not uniform in our thoughts. What's more, this bond necessitates a certain spirit of cooperation, even if you don't agree; you are connected in a way that no other race is, you are Tel'Quessir.
With all this power and knowledge, I feel that I have only one valid course of action, to teach the other races. To tutor them in the proper path, to show them the way to peace as best I can. That is my foremost burden, to show those who minds may be open the way of the Tel'Quessir and hope that they learn and take it as their own; to those who minds are closed, there is no choice but to come into conflict. Some of my kin may say I tread the path of the fool, but they are mistaken, just as once the younger races tread the path of the savage and now have come to the understanding of civilization, do I believe that they can tread the path of enlightenment; they can be better than this.
