3. Into the Mind of a Priestess

Into the Mind of a Priestess

  • L

    I begin to wonder if perhaps I wear a sign, unbeknownst to me, upon my being, that announces I am available. Or perhaps tis me? Perhaps I am too friendly and tis taken in the wrong manner? I do not know but whatever the cause, I seem to regularly draw men to me who would pursue me further than friendship without so much as a single question of whether I am available or not.

    I have met one who wishes to pursue magic, to study it in all forms. He wears symbols of Mystra, Azuth, Savras and Velsharoon, the latter I find quite displeasing. He is young and quite charming with his words, yet quite unwise in his decisions at times. He seems well capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation when he is not attempting to swoon me with his charming words. He speaks too oft of my beauty and went as far as to state that I have stolen his heart. How can only steal something they have ne’er even seen? I countered in jest and let it drop from there. It would seem based on our conversation in Peltarch that he has been recently hurt by a woman, leaving me to wonder if he is merely attempting to cover that hurt by finding another quickly.

    I met him on the road south of Peltarch. I stood reading the sign posted of the lizardfolk there when he approached. He wished to go south though having been that road many times, I was extremely leery and engaged him in conversation to learn of his abilities in battle afore taking on this journey with him. After much time and conversation as well as near consistent compliments, I told him I needed to gather supplies and we went back to Peltarch to do so. Aft gathering the supplies needed, we took to the south exit from the city and began our journey. I have ne’er traversed the Pass without the accompaniment of one much more skilled than I so nervous would have described me well.

    Armed and ready for battle, we spotted the first of the hobgoblins. We saw three to begin with, though experience told me there would be others on the other side of the stream. Indeed there were. A total of four were counted. We snuck along the mountain wall in hopes to gain the attention of only the three ahead. When I shot a bullet at one of them to bring them away from the others, much to my surprise, a horde of at least 6 came running at us. The young man was blinded and deafened by their magics. I took their blows long enough for the spell to wear off of him and yelled to him, “RUN!” He did, as did I.

    Reaching a place out of their range, we stopped to rest and I closed the wounds on my arm. Apparently I need to practice with this new shield. I knew we could not get through all of them yet he persisted and stated that he had the ability to move very quietly and would go back and count them for me. I countered, stating it was not a good idea as he began to step lightly through the snow. Thank Torm, he tripped over a rock and landed flat on his face. I do not believe he would have listened to me otherwise and I simply do not have the strength nor the skill in battle to confront that many so that I might gather his corpse and take it back to the City.

    Back in the safety of Peltarch, we decided we would go examine the tree out the west gate that I am told is a sign from Azuth. We did so and then seated ourselves by the fire, soon to be joined by the woman with bright green hair and eyebrows. I had met her afore, though did not recall her name. Thankfully, neither did she recall mine which lessened my embarrassment. She seems pleasant enough and went with us into the kobold area where we battled the kobolds that the young man had hoped to show us his magics on. Indeed, he is a young mage and we saved his life there. He had fallen and was near death, bleeding profusely. The woman distracted the kobolds being quite a good shot with her bow, allowing me the time to heal his wounds. Once they were slain, we traveled back to the fire and conversed for awhile. At near dawn, I departed to tend to morning prayers.

    I wonder if he is serious when he speaks his compliments so charmingly.

  • L

    I believe I was in shock. My hands were shaking, my legs weakened beneath me, everything inside of me trembled. I had no idea. None. Memories ran ramped through my mind, quickly, so quickly I could not catch all of them. My mother, such a gentle spirit, always offering an encouraging or reassuring word. My father, such the opposite of my mother, opinionated, unyielding, far too self assured and extremely judgmental. What would he think now? The one childhood friend I had, laughing as she ran through the trees calling to me in elven, “Hurry! Come on!” Even the forest surrounding me now seemed to fall into complete silence as he fluidly lowered to one knee, his words ringing through my mind over and over again.

    “In the witness of nature, the Gods and Goddesses I ask you, will you marry me?”

    Stunned, the tears welled in my eyes. I found myself on the forest floor kneeling in front of him speechless. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to be able to say yes to him, but I could not. Many things are left unfinished in my past, many things that prohibit my marriage at this time. We talked of these things and without question, he told me that he would wait forever for me. He is willing to wait as long as it takes. This also surprised me. Perhaps I do not feel worthy for some reason? I do not know, I know only that when he stated such, at last I realized the depth of his love for me.

    He held in his hand a highly polished silver ring. Its luster alone would have cast shimmers yet it also holds a magical ability to give a blue light in the darkness. It was absolutely beautiful, so simple and yet so elegant. He put the ring on a leather cord and tied it securely before slipping it around my neck. He stated that he wished me to keep it as a reminder of his promise that when I am able to marry, he will be there. I never take it off and I love the way it enlightens Torm’s symbol.

    We talked of children in the future. Neither of us wish children soon. These lands are harsh at present and even the most civilized parts of them are still plagued with various things. We spoke of our children being one quarter elven and he seemed surprised and yet relieved that I would welcome this. Why would I not? Their future father is half elven.

    We spoke of the differences in our life spans, of how I am will old and he will not. He laughed it off stating by the time I am old, he will be so beaten up from battle and death that we will appear equal in age. Still, this concerns me.

    I am truly blessed to find one who loves me so deeply that he accepts the restrictions of my past and is willing to wait for me. Mielikki, guard him well for truly, he is a treasure. Torm, give me the wisdom to somehow show him how much this means to me.

  • L

    The following page is spotted with small drops of liquid, leaving it to appear as though the rain or something similar fell on it

    Much has happened since I have written here. Some I recall, perhaps some I do not. I have seen the interior of the dwarven hold and traveled to new places in the land. I have been given a new belt and have purchased a new sword and shield as well as having my new armor dyed.

    I have battled some form of magical substance along with many others in hopes of stopping it from spreading into the farmlands near Norwick. I have toured some of the lands about Norwick and met some of the people who reside there as well as left a letter for the farmer closest to the substance that was seeping up from the ground, detailing what had happened and informing him that should he have any further issues to contact the Legion in Jiyyd.

    I have watched and learned about many people, their abilities, their stances, the way they think. Most are simply people who wish to be the acknowledged for their accomplishments. Some are happy to stand in the background and receive no acknowledgement at all while fewer still are willing to risk their lives and never expect anything in return. No different than the other places I have been.

    I have spent more time with the lady paladin of Torm. I have watched her with not only my eyes, but my mind and heart as well. Her physical beauty is beyond denial yet the way she judges other without considering all things is not attractive at all. She and I have fought together now and talked for long periods of time. I have been able to show her new ways of looking at things that she seemingly had not thought of afore and willingly recognized whence presented to her.

    She is quite fond…quite fond of the knight warrior and at last, they have had the opportunity to meet and spend time getting to know each other. I made reason to leave them alone in the hopes that they might find common ground and wish to spend more time together. Truly, they do make a beautiful couple, though I do not believe he is allowing himself to see past his feelings for me.

    He and I have spent much time together. Chance? Fate? Luck? A sign? It seems as though each time I go out, he is there somehow, no matter where I have traveled to. I encounter him in Peltarch regularly, in Jiyyd and even outside of the City I reside in. His views are in line with those of a Tyrran in regards to his faith, though his views on relationships seem to come straight from a fairytale where everything is perfect. From what he has told me, he has always been a dreamer since the age of a young boy…he still is. A wonderful man yet his hopes for love by his definition are not based in reality, another sign that he is still a dreamer. Attractive beyond words, his eyes shine a deep green and his smile is so innocent and boyishly brilliant, his physical form well proportioned and muscular. A wonderful sense of humor and quite the jester, a pleasure to be around most of the time, though I simply cannot condone his expectations of a love relationship. No one should ever be expected to be without fault. No one. To expect such of another is to set them up to fail. To err is simply human and his views do not allow one to be human at all, neither do they allow for the natural occurrence of attraction between a man and a woman.

    Still, I admire his perseverance and absolute unwillingness to give up even when all around him states the cause is already completely lost.

    a small piece of thin paper is folded around a blade of grass and placed in the journal on this page

  • L

    Sometimes I wish I could simply see Him and talk to Him directly. I have so many questions and none of which are trivial. The answers elude me, leaving me to believe they can only be found in Him, only come from Him, so I wait.

    One of the Sirs in the Temple stopped me and told me to be careful out there. I smiled to him and said, in reference to the near constant rain in Peltarch, “I shall be, though I believe the only danger I am in currently is drowning.” Twas in jest, though his expression remained solemn and he replied, “No, you are in much greater danger.” Of course, I asked him to elaborate and he did, but he did not explain, rather asked me a question. “What is the one risk that we all take, the one thing that makes more people fall from their faith than any other?” I pondered his words for a few moments before I responded, “Love.” I was fairly certain it was the answer he sought and his nod and following words were verification, “Yes, or the perception of it.” He continued on to tell me how he had seen good people fall from faith because of love. He had seen people move to Oscura chasing love and upon their return, they were never the same. He continued on to tell me that the world out there would love nothing more than to bring me down, which I already knew, but his comments of love left me baffled. Am I to believe that he is advising me not to fall in love? That he is insinuating that love is evil? Or perhaps that something in his own past led him to speak of such?

    During the conversation I asked of him why he felt it important to advise me in particular of this. His response left me even more baffled, “Oh,” he stated, “I know little enough about you other than you are here regularly and seem pious enough.” He continued on to state that piety is not always enough and to add that Lady Daisy would not be happy with him is she heard him state such. Now not only do I wonder the meaning of his warning, but also the reason it was delivered to me personally. Does he know more of me than he reveals? Was he told by whichever of the Triad he serves to speak with me? Do I simply remind him of someone in his past, perhaps someone he was involved with?

    For now, I keep his words in my heart and carry them with me, sharing them with others of like faith. If his warning was meant only for me, it has certainly caused me to be more cautious. If it was meant that I pass it on to others who serve the Triad, I have done so.

    Will there ever come a day when I can see You and know Your answers without doubt?

  • L

    The one I love and I have at last found time to talk of the many things happening with us and around us. I have given him the samples I gathered from the diseased animals and he has ensured me he will do all he can to get them into the right hands and help find a cure for the suffering animals. We talked of the man in consistent ill health and he has agreed to aid me in teaching him. Many things were discussed and much to my surprise, there was not a single disagreement in our thinking on these matters.

    The supposed black hearted caster and I have talked at length a few times now. He offered to take me and the knight-warrior on a tour of Oscura and we accepted, walking along with him as he showed us the various areas of the city. People call it dark. Yes, it is dark, it is an underground city, but when they say that, they refer more to the element in the city than the city itself. There is much there that is very disheartening. I saw people openly being burned to death for supposedly breaking their vow to the city. The stench was awful in more than one way. I saw slaves there and have learned they are freely bought and sold in the city. I saw women who, willingly or otherwise, attempted to sell their bodies to us. I saw people of all races there, some obviously poor, some without limbs, some suffering from sickness. Some were very accepting of our presence while others made certain to tell us to just leave. The caster showed me the headquarters of the Sails there in Oscura. He also showed us an odd structure, one that seemed to cry out, scream out, yet in silence, as if pleading to my very soul rather than my ears. A painter standing nearby had drawn a painting of the structure, depicting many trapped souls, tortured souls, men, women and children’s souls. While near the structure, I felt ill though not as I have e’er felt afore. It was not a physical illness, more mental or perhaps….an illness of the soul? Tis difficult to put into writing. I felt them scream out, begging, pleading. I felt light headed physically and as if something in the very core of my being was sickened. The caster stated little is known about the structure. I shall be speaking with the paladin of Tyr on this matter, the one who resides in Oscura.

    I have heard bits and pieces of people in the lands carrying a mark placed there by undead. From what I have gathered thus far, the mark was placed only on those who fell. I spoke with the knight who follows Milil and he received such a mark, alluding to the fact that he found it frightening. The Magistrate has banned him from Peltarch until the Temple there can verify that it was cleansed properly. While I understand this in respect to the safety of the city residents, it seems little concern was given to those who carry the mark. He was given a tent to sleep in. If there are several who received this mark, could the city not set up a temporary camp for them outside the city walls?

    I met a man, one who was once a slave and I believe, now a sailor. I have seen him afore though had not found the opportunity to speak with him. He is searching. His questions show this. He asked me why I fight. I told him that when I battle, tis for one of Torm’s mandates. He does not understand this kind of devotion and believes that I am refusing to make my own choices. I do hope for the opportunity to speak with him again in the future if only to disclose to him what I have experienced in the past that he might know I do understand slavery to some degree. He asked me if my choice to live for Torm was worth it. I answered him truthfully. Although not easy, it is very much worth it.

    The lovely bard women, the girlfriend of the supposed evil caster, invited me on a venture with a group she had gathered. We were going to some place, some cave, where a hag resided though I am uncertain as to why we were doing such. Kobolds everywhere.
    One man attempted to scout ahead and was caught. We found his body in the cave and the one I love carried it with us back to the Temple. It was odd how his ghost remained in the cave with us, acting as a bard and telling the story of our venture step by step, even if much of it was guess work on his part as he attempted to speak of the thoughts of those present. The kobolds were frightened…terribly frightened. There were signs of clawing and blood mingled with their nail markings on the walls where they had attempted to get through barriers to flee. After battling with an onslaught of kobolds who attacked us on sight, we attempted to speak with the next group, offering our aid to battle against whatever was frightening them so badly. After some deliberation between them and a man in party, though I do not know what was stated as they spoke in a language unknown to me, it was evident that they did not wish our aid as they attacked.

    The lovely bard women was badly wounded, her stance grew weak in battle and her legs shook yet she stood there fighting them with what was left of her life. The one I love, ever at the forefront as though he has a wish to die, was in the same condition. He was slit open in the front yet stood there weakened, fighting. I could not see the entire group from where I stood in the back though I could see enough to realize that my efforts would be best utilized to keep them standing…this I did. I used the magics given me only for healing purposes, seeing to those with the worst wounds first. When necessary, I helped in battle as well. I was able to keep them standing though towards the end, both the bard women and the one I love had exhausted their magics and I had only a few more casts left. The final battle was awful, bloody and nearly resulted in the death of the one I love.
    In a flurry of capes, weapons, shields and magics, we fought against the largest ogre I have e’er seen. I stood at the front with the women bard, battling it as best I could so that others could attack from a distance. I can see how the knight-warrior’s help has indeed aided me in battle as my strike landed true more than it missed. The one I love stood near his death, apparently having been run through completely by something, yet he stood and fought. I managed to heal most of his wounds that he might keep fighting, though I shall ne’er understand how one so gravely wounded can run and fight and bend to search for treasures as though no wounds are present at all. Perhaps it is a druidic mindset, I do not know. After the huge beast was felled, we looked about the opening in the cave. One of the group found the hag beneath her hut, dead. I tended to the wounds of the group as best I could with the magics I had left, another woman lending aid as she could. Others searched about, even daring to look into the large cookpot that smelled so badly. Apparently the mission was a success though I still am uncertain as to what the purpose of it was. The one I love carried the fallen man as those able carried his possessions and we all made out way back to the Temple in Peltarch to have his spirit called back. I was past due for prayers and had to leave, though I made the assumption that he was indeed raised. Later in speaking with the supposed evil caster, I was informed that he chose not to return to his body, refusing the offered resurrection. I meant to speak with the one I love on this matter, I must remember to do so.

  • L

    I have gathered more information on the man who seems in consistent ill health. We sat and spoke for some time and I have learned that he is a mix of human and pixie…although I simply cannot imagine the two mating. He states that he was told twas done magically and sense pixies are magical creatures, I suppose this could be. He appears, for all intents and purposes human, aside from the slight point to his ears that I noted when he asked me to braid his hair.

    In past conversations with him, I have learned that he knows nothing about the natural attraction between men and women. As noted afore here, I found this difficult to believe given his time interacting with society. Still, I took him at his word and have been working with him in order to educate him on this. I have been quite uncomfortable at times given some things I have needed to explain…and explain again until he seemed to understand. I had hoped in teaching him that it might save him some turmoil and judgment by others should they learn of his lack of knowledge. Given this, I continued to work with him explaining in detail when needed regardless of my own personal comfort in the matter.

    While sitting and speaking with him today in the commons of Peltarch, a group of others gathered around us and we were all speaking together. It was revealed by one who had joined us during this conversation that the man is married. Married!!!! I must admit that this divulgence of information left me utterly shocked. I thought perhaps it was a mistake so I asked him directly, afore all of the others, if indeed he is married. He stated that he is. Several things ran through my mind, though not a single one settled there. I stood and excused myself from the group and went straight to the Temple to think on what I had heard and how he had allowed me to believe that he knew nothing when in fact, he held knowledge he withheld from me.

    On my way to the Temple, one of the women in the group stopped me. She is a warrior of Tempus, strong on honor and asked if the man had dishonored me. She has a keen eye to have noted my reaction to learning of his marriage. I talked with her a bit and explained that he and I are merely friends and that I had been trying to help him understand the subject of men and women, only to learn he is married. After ensuring I was alright, she went her way leaving me with the advice that a punch in the nose is a good response to those who act with no honor. At that time, it would have felt good to punch him in the nose, though I have not the luxury of reacting without thought.

    In the Temple, he showed up. An odd and mixed up conversation ensued wherein he attempted to tell me that even though he is married, and even though he has indeed had an intimate relationship with his wife, he did not understand these things. His continued claim to ignorance left me feeling used. He DOES know things. He DOES hold knowledge and he never bothered to share it with me during the times I attempted to help him understand.

    I have told him that I will speak to another man about this and ask that he would give this man some help in understanding and some advise if needed. He was not happy with this at all. He stated he has talked to other men afore and that he believed ME to be the one who would share things with him openly and without the “manners” involved. I can only assume that by this he means the proper way of doing things. I stated to him that I am spoken for and that tis not particularly proper for me to be speaking of such things to him aft learning he HAS experienced them. Again he did not like this. He seems to think only of his own wishes and needs with no regard to the predicament his actions have put me in.

    I will speak to the one I love and if he is in agreement, perhaps the two of us together can educate this man…IF he truly needs it. I am left feeling as though he used me merely to hear it explained for reasons unknown to me. Given this possibility, I will ensure it will not happen again. If the one I love is not in agreement or does not wish to participate, I shall seek out another and perhaps ask if there is a Temple to Sune or any followers of Sune in the lands.

    Torm guide my wisdom in this matter that I might see the truth. It makes no sense at all why he would hide the knowledge he has from his own experiences.

  • L

    I believe I have found her, though surely time will tell for certain.

    She is lovely, if not a bit worn and tired from the battles she wages. Her spirit is strong…stronger than any I have seen here thus far. She sees and understands things beyond the surface, beyond what is seen by others, beyond what meets the eye. She looks beyond the small darknesses that dwell in these lands with the knowledge that an apple does not fall far from the tree. She sees beyond the apple in search of the tree that she might find the very source, the true evil that must be fought against and slain. She is wise…very wise and understands that many times what appears to be evil is merely the influence effected by the larger source, an influence that filters in due to hurt and hopelessness, fear and rejection.

    What an honor it was to speak with her for hours, to know that one with such wisdom found me worthy to spend this amount of time with. She spoke of many things…and people, people she has fought along side of, members and knights of the Divine Shield, her thoughts on their influences and who is, as well as who is not a good representation of what the Order stands for. It was uncanny how parallel her thoughts run to mine as I listened to her speak of the various members to include the Magistrate. She speaks most highly of one lady in the Order and holds her up as an example of sorts. I will make every effort to get to know this lady if tis possible.

    Her knowledge was most impressive, though what impressed me the most is her heart. In her heart, she understands that even those who have different ways of expressing their service are still, none the less, in service to their Gods. She does not agree with many of them, yet she is accepting of the fact that they are indeed serving their Gods and that there is a reason their God has chosen them. I have stated this very thing in the past, not in defense of their actions and mannerisms but rather in understanding that each one is still in service to their God. She accepts them in service rather than condoning their actions. She even went so far as to advise me on how to change their actions to reflect better on their respective Gods.

    We spoke at length of the actions I have seen displayed by various members of the Shield. She has gone so far as to apologize that those people were the ones I encountered first and further stated that one of them was knighted in the Order due only to his years and years of loyalty. She did not seem pleased in the least about this. I spoke openly to her of the things I hear from others and how the actions of these Shield members cast a shadow on their faith rather than drawing people to it. She even went so far as to advise me on how to change their actions to reflect better on their respective Gods. I spoke to her of the Priest of Gond and how he was sorely upset that only one member of the Shield offered their aid in his battle against Umberlee’s minions. She recalled him asking and told me that she had offered the aid of the Shield if he would let her know when. She states also that he ne’er did let her know when and she did not believe the venture had been made. He stated clearly that it had already been made. Another miscommunication? It would seem so.

    I spoke to her of my failures in attempting to find a mentor or hierarchy to learn from. I spoke to her of my encounter with the Magistrate and she has advised me that each student the Magistrate has taken on….has died. She did not speak so in judgment of him, far from it. She merely wished me to know the facts. She told me she knows of another, a Priest of Torm whom I have yet to meet. She believes he would be a wonderful mentor for me and she stated she will send him a letter on my behalf. I sit in awe of the way Torm is bringing things together for me here. He is making His path known to me, clearly, and I will follow obediently each step He reveals.

    Torm, hear my thanks to You now. You are a servant to Tyr and I am Your servant. How parallel that You have brought a paladin of Tyr into my life that I might learn from, one to speak to, one to stand beside in service and in friendship.

  • L

    I have had some time to speak with the woman who follows Kelemvor, the one I met upon my arrival to these lands. I have learned in this conversation that the lady who holds a high ranking place in the Order of the Divine Shield is also a follower of Kelemvor. Apparently there is also an Order devoted to Him, the Knights of the Watchful Repose I believe. This woman does not seem one to stand around in conversation. She seems more apt to be looking for something to battle. Both the knight-warrior and I declined her offer to take us into the swamps to battle the wisps there. I have already done so and the knight-warrior had other business to tend to.

    Afore her arrival, the knight-warrior and I were speaking of his code. He confuses me at times and this time was one of them. When he first began speaking of it, he stated that he cannot think certain thoughts because those thoughts will break his code. This made no sense to me at all so I questioned him on it. He then stated that thinking leads to speaking and speaking his thoughts would break his code. So, am I to understand that he cannot have thoughts or speak them because doing so will break his code? Again I questioned him and he stated that thinking certain things would lead to speaking them and speaking them would lead to acting on them. By this time, I was thoroughly confused. Is it not one’s ACTIONS that break a code? And are we not all responsible for controlling our ACTIONS, yet how many of us have control over our thoughts or even what we speak? And do we not all at some point speak things we would never ACT upon? Baffled and quite ready to abandon the conversation, I stood there simply staring at him blankly. Tis when he leaned in and whispered to me, “M’lady, you are beautiful.” Ah, so THIS is what he speaks of! At last the entire conversation made sense, even though I do not agree with all of it. I suppose that he fears if he speaks his thoughts in this regard, it will lead to a wish to act upon them which would indeed break his code given that I am spoken for. Though, should such a compliment be withheld on this basis? I do not know.

    I asked him to help me with the backswing of my weapon. I have seen his finesse in battle and his claim to knighthood should also come with a good knowledge of all types of weapons in battle. He agreed and I showed him what it was I was struggling with. I felt rather foolish when he immediately saw what I was doing wrong. He moved in behind me and guided my swing, showing me the proper height and wrist movement, as well as how to make this swing one fluid motion. I tried it a few times and although it was better, I still seemed to wrap the chain about my hand upon finishing the swing. He watched and stated that I am moving my fingers aft beginning the swing and he showed me where to place them and in what manner to move my fingers to get the proper effect. I have spent much time in the training room in the Temple of Helm here in Jiyyd and I grow discouraged attempting to learn this. He makes it seem so easy! I tried one last time, doing as he directed with my hand position and finger movement though it gained me a large sliver from the handle. I pulled the sliver from my hand with a sigh. The poor man was apologizing profusely. He stated that he should have checked the weapon more thoroughly. I told him that I had known of the rough spot in the handle and had simply not had the time to fix it. He pulled a small stone from his pack and ran it swiftly over the handle several times, leaving it smooth again. I asked him what it was he used to do this and he stated, “Tis a stone m’lady.” “No kidding?” I thought in silence. I shall have to learn of the type of stone another time as the hour had grown quite late and we both needed to retire. We agreed to continue the lesson at a time when we are well rested and fresh.

    I have seen little of the one I love since his return. I am not certain what occupies so much of his time. I can only surmise that being a recruit for the Legion is demanding.

    I miss our talks. I miss speaking to him of the things I learn and encounter and hearing him tell of his own experiences. I miss him.

  • L

    I have met another knight. A knight who follows Milil and lives by the old knight’s code. He is handsome and very well mannered, if not a bit quiet. We spoke for some time in Jiyyd and he shared with me about Milil and what it is that his Order does. We spoke of his wish to meet with the Masters of the Bardic College and that he has had little to no success in doing so. He states that his Order is small and he is, indeed, the only one I have met of his faith. Perhaps, if he wishes to further his Order here and I can aid him in doing so, it will give me an opportunity to act for Torm under the Duty of Persecution.

    While in Jiyyd, I met a Halfling walking about, obviously badly wounded. I offered first to tend to his wounds, which he agreed to. Aft this was accomplished, I asked what happened to him and we talked for some time. He told a story of ogres in Nars Pass. I ensured he meant ogres and not the usual hobgoblins that reside there. He spoke of the ogres wearing odd markings that he had not seen afore and described the markings for me, even drawing out a picture of them. The markings are a dark colored fist with green rays coming out of it. Though I am unfamiliar with these markings, I fully intend to research them. He gave me his name and stated that his bodyguard was killed in the Pass by the Ogres. I ensured him that I would give all of this information to the Legion that they might check into the matter. He further stated that he was a merchant and that all of his gold was on his bodyguard, leaving him with nothing. I gave him 30 gold to keep him for awhile until he can again pursue his business. Though I did not ask, I learned that he gives thanks to Yondalla as when I presented him with the gold, he stated something of Her. I have left a letter under the door of the Legion Hall, addressed to both of the generals I have met previously, informing them of all the information I gathered on this matter. I further asked the Troff Legion guard nearby to ensure that they received it. I trust they will see to it.

    Aft parting with the Halfling and leaving the letter for the Generals of the Legion, I sat at the fire nearby the Inn. A woman I had not seen afore came in through the west gates and we talked a bit. I asked her if she had seen any ogres in the pass and told her what the Halfling had shared with me. She stated the Pass was clear and even the hobgoblins seemed quiet. As we spoke, the archer of the Wolves approached. I asked him also if he had come from the Pass and informed him of what I was told. He and the woman were obviously known to each other and as he greeted me by name, the woman spoke her thoughts of what a beautiful name I have. I thanked her and asked for her own name which she gave me and the archer then made introductions. Come to find out, she is the one the knight-warrior was told to seek out, the paladin of Tyr and a member of the Order of the Divine Shield. Her eyes were dark underneath and red rimmed, baring signs of little rest, though she seemed pleasant enough to begin with.

    She offered to take the both of us to the Temple of Helm where we could dry from the rain and have some warm tea. The thought was lovely though I found it odd that she had such access to the Temple of Helm. The archer stated he would be going back into the Pass to check for ogres. It concerned me that he would be going alone, yet he insisted and there is little I can offer in the way of assistance against such beasts. The woman stated she had just come from the Pass and all was quiet and well with no sign of ogres.
    Still, he wished to check on the situation, which I can fully understand as if they were hiding perhaps in the hills and planning an ambush, innocent travelers would surely lose their lives.

    The paladin proceeded to speak in an angry tone to the archer. She spoke of a letter he had sent her and of how she rarely leaves Oscura…I have to wonder why she chooses to reside there to begin with…and that should he wish information from her in the future, he would not receive it as she had made a trip specifically to share information about recent events regarding undead and other matters that I have no knowledge of. The undead piqued my interest, though before I could ask, the two were arguing as children with the archer accusing her of not sharing information for a year and her accusing him of basically wasting her time, as though he was supposed to somehow know she was there for this purpose.

    We walked further towards the Temple and the two stood in argument for some time, leaving me utterly baffled at the childish behavior. I have seen far too much of this since my arrival and I grow tired of people being unable to see the consequences of it. Aft a few moments and being shocked by their verbal abuse of each other, I addressed them both in a manner meant to get their attention. Though I did not raise my voice, I made my words heard as I stated, “Excuse me…please…but does it not stand to reason that much more will be accomplished if we can all work together instead of wasting precious time arguing over petty issues?!” They both fell silent for a long moment as I looked back and forth between them in expectation of a response. The paladin spoke first and said, “I was merely offended that I come here to share information and he is going to leave.” I answered her stating that it was not his wish to leave and that he meant her no disrespect, he was merely attempting to thwart a possible threat against innocent people. The archer was still silent at this point, though he nodded in verification of what I had spoken. After a moment, the paladin sighed and rubbed her eyes stating, “If this is so, then I am sorry. I am tired and have not been sleeping well of late.” I smiled to her, finding her ability to realize the negative in her actions humble as well as adult in manner. The archer then sighed and stated, “And I apologize for the tone of the letter I sent to you.” I believe my heart sang out in joy. Can there really be hope that the different orders and organizations in these lands can again work together? There most assuredly can, provided they keep their focus on the common goals rather than the small differences that might lie between them. Combined, these orders and organizations would be such a formidable force that only a fool would dare to trifle with them. I shall continue to work towards this goal. Perhaps this is the reason Torm has brought me here.

    I was unable to attend tea with them as it was time for my studies and then prayers, though I believe on the morrow I will go out and gather some herbs for the paladin. What I intend to gather will help her sleep much better and leave no ill affects when she awakens.

    Praise be to Torm for the victory I have seen this day.

  • L

    He has returned!!! the bolded words are written in a flourish of excitement, the vibrant blue ink standing out on the page

    At last, he has returned to me! Although he claims his journey gave him no revelations from Mielikki, I believe it did, though he does not yet see them. He is much happier, much more at peace since his return. Yes, his spontaneous behavior continues, though tis a part of who he is. Perhaps this is why we have found each other. We differ greatly in these ways so perhaps I might learn not to over think things and he might learn to think them through more carefully? After all, all of nature is a balance.

    Little time was afforded for us to speak with each other. He disappeared to somewhere, though I knew not where. Later, as the knight-warrior and I stepped into the Legion Hall with a Legion General, I found he was sitting there speaking with someone I had not met.

    The knight-warrior and I had many questions to ask of the General, although for somewhat different reasons. I found the General to be informative, knowledgeable and in no way judgmental of those not a part of his Legion. How refreshing this was. After a long meeting, another of the Legion’s Generals joined us, a female servant of Mielikki. She was also very informative, pleasant and lacked the judgmental quality I have found in most of the Order in Peltarch.

    The questions I asked of them were not designed to be easily answered, yet neither of them stumbled at all in their responses. They were both put into a place that allowed them the opportunity to judge others, yet they did not do so. Truly, I am impressed with what I have seen and heard from them. The knight-warrior is considering joining them. I believe this would be a good move for him, though he must come to his own decision on this matter. I, though highly impressed with the Legion thus far, am not so apt to join any Order as of yet. My duties are clear and although the Legion offers some avenues to accomplish them, others are not present. I believe though, that it would be a severe misstep if I did not offer my aid to the Legion given what they stand for. They are not a political order and they accept any who worship Gods of good will. Such a pleasant change from what I have seen elsewhere. I shall pen a letter to the Generals.

    The one I love has joined the Legion…already. Apparently this is what he was doing when he disappeared. He states he is not yet a full member, which I already know, but none the less, he did make the decision to join them as a recruit. I was surprised that he did not speak to me of it first since it will affect us both, though this seems to be typical of his behavior. His demeanor fell when he thought he had disappointed me. In truth, aft what I had learned in my own meeting, I was quite pleased with his decision and I stated so, thrice. He seems to put so much weight on my opinions of him and his actions…after they are done. Indeed, a most interesting way of structuring a relationship. Perhaps being in the Legion will teach him a bit of personal discipline in the decision making process. I worry for him, greatly and when he is absent, I fear someone will tell me he is not returning due to his ill thought out decisions. This is, apparently, a fear I must live with, at least for now.

    The woman warrior…I simply do not know what to make of her anymore. I have learned she is supposedly married to another woman, yet she and the General made such comments and tossed such innuendo back and forth that I have to wonder if she is true in her marriage or if perhaps her spouse does not expect her to be… or if perhaps she is even married at all? She baffles me. She seems to be quick to judge without having all of the facts and then must later apologize for her actions, as the General told me she had done. She seems likable enough and I enjoy her wit most of the time but I can not seem to figure out what it is she stands for when all of the superficial fronts are stripped away.

    The knight-warrior has been rather subdued the last couple of times I have seen him. I am uncertain as to why this change of behavior has taken place, but I shall still be available to him should he wish counsel. If not, perhaps he has at last found one of his own faith to counsel with.

    I look forward to speaking with the one I love of the many things that have taken place in his absence….though, I am uncertain as to whether that will take place or not since much of his time will be taken in service to the Legion now. Perhaps, since the woman General is also a servant of Mielikki, I might take one of these matters to her should the one I love have no time. I cannot continue to wait on this one.

  • L

    Today was an interesting day in many regards, to include what I view as answers to prayer.

    Coin is certainly not easy to come by in these lands and although I do not hold it in a high place of priority, it is necessary for one to buy proper equipment for confrontations with the many evils that dwell here.

    Some time ago, the woman paladin I met lent me a suit of mail armor. She did so stating, “Those in the Order of the Divine Shield help each other out.” When I expressed my wish to learn about this Order before joining it, she changed it and said the armor was a gift rather than a loan. Since that time, I have been working on gathering enough gold to purchase a new set of armor so that I might return this one to her…or to the Order. I felt as though keeping it made me beholden to them, a feeling I can not afford at this time given what I am seeing. Each day I pray to Torm that He will provide a way for me to earn enough for the new armor needed. He knows my heart and my reasons so I have awaited His answer.

    Apparently the little gnome who had set up the competition to find all the odd items for him has returned and judged our team to have won the contest. I received a parchment from a badger, covered in slobber that made it difficult to read the smudged ink. The badger dropped the parchment at my feet and scurried off. The parchment, written by the man who seems in ill health consistently, told of the rewards given by the gnome and the times they would be distributed. The dwarven woman, the warrior-knight and I headed south from Peltarch as we were to meet with everyone there at the given time.

    All were present save for the performer and a woman I did not know whose words were somewhat broken when she spoke. It was determined that each would roll a pair of die and would then choose from items in order from the highest roll to the lowest. Those not present were rolled for, the supposed evil caster rolling for the performer woman and the dwarven woman rolling for the other woman. I have seen dice games played afore though I have ne’er partaken. I was first to roll and of a possible 20, I rolled a 19. The others followed in suit, taking their turns to roll. Much to my surprise, the 19 was the highest roll and I was told to choose one of the items given as a reward. There were several laid out, many most useful and some even rare from what I am told, though there was only one I found a purpose and reason to own…a set of armor. It is full plate armor, absolutely beautiful, baring a magical enhancement to add to its protection value. Truly, this is an answer to prayer from Torm as now I can return the other armor to the paladin along with my thanks, after I clean and polish it. I know now that I am on the path He wishes me to be as I study, learn and see workings of this Order.

    Later on in the day, the warrior-knight and I spoke at length again of his wish to become a paladin. I am concerned for him…perhaps more than I should be. He is young, ambitious and has a golden heart but he is so very naïve. I fear that his drive and ambition will land him in a place he will not fit into, thus rendering him very unhappy.
    I simply will not tell him what he wishes to hear from me. Rather, I challenge him to think, deeply, of the consequences of his actions and wishes. I believe he finds me harsh with my warnings at times and feels as though I am attempting to dampen his ambition and drive. Such is not so. I care for his well being and were I to state this, knowing his feelings for me, it could give him hope that should not be there. I am in an uncomfortable predicament with him so I do my best to counsel him and answer his questions, to care for his future and yet to still come across as it being only counsel….but is it?

    Late into the night, unable to sleep, I put on my new armor and thanked Torm for it yet again. Leaving the Inn, I walked to the nearby campfire thinking I would sit quietly and contemplate recent happenings. Another woman was there, one I had seen afore though the last time I saw her, she was in the arms of a gnome who claimed she was his bodyguard and she was quite lifeless. We spoke briefly and I told her I was glad to see her alive and well again. After a few moments, the gnome came running through the gate into Jiyyd as though he were on fire. Startled, I asked him if everything was alright. He stated twas fine now that he had found his boobyguard. I did not ask of this as I thought perhaps I had misheard him.

    Conversation continued and I learned his name as well as the fact that he believes he can give others gnomish good luck by hugging them. He is a caster of the arcane I believe, his bodyguard being one of the forests, either druidic or perhaps ranger, as she called upon a wolf to help her. The gnomish man has the longest last name I believe I have e’er heard. He challenged me to say it five times quickly and I declined, stating I believe my tongue would fall out. He asked if I wished good luck and I stated to him that I may in the near future, should the one I love not return soon. Truly twas merely in jest as I do not believe in luck, yet he had me stand and lower myself some then he hugged me and stated that I now have good luck and that the one I love will soon return. This little one is a bit…daffy, though likeable all the same.

    He stated that he and his boobyguard, that word again, were going to go into the swamps and gather balls of light for a project he is working on. The woman must have seen my dismay at hearing this word twice now and she told me tis what they call a female bodyguard. I was asked to accompany them into the swamps and though I was getting tired, and had been warned of the trolls there, I did so, aft being assured we would go nowhere near the trolls. I was most curious as to what these balls of light might be.

    Upon entering the swamp, he warded me from the elements and warned me not to attack the balls of light should the ward end. He then called for aid from a minion. Although I have ne’er seen one afore, I believe from what I read that he called an imp. I shall be researching this further. What a dark and dingy place. I could not even see my own feet at times, much less anything in the distance. We encountered birds that were quite vicious and attacked upon noticing our presence. Those were easily defeated. The balls of light he described, I learned quickly, were wisps. Not so easily defeated and quite adept at dodging my swings, they seemed to dance about as though they were merely air. We wandered the swamps engaging them in battle. With each one defeated, he gathered up the balls of light and tucked them away. He is very adept with a crossbow and could defeat them from a distance afore they e’er reached us. Wandering further south in the swamp in search of these balls of light, he noted our position and stated we should return lest we be troll stew. That thought made me shiver.

    We left the swamps and returned to the fire in Jiyyd. I saw to both of their wounds, calling on Torm’s power to heal them. I have learned that he wishes to find a way to harness the energy of the wisps and use it. Bidding them both a goodbye, I went back to the Inn and cleaned my armor. I gathered my studies and sat down to perhaps learn more of this creature he summoned for aid though what I found instead was another answer to prayer. It would seem I am indeed following the path Torm wishes me on as He has again blessed me with more divine magics. I feel my strength in my faith grow greatly since my arrival here and His presence ever near. Thank You, Torm, for all You have granted me and for Your faith in me.

    I still await the return of the man I love. I grow a bit concerned as he has been gone for many days now, though I shall trust that he is well and shall return to me refreshed and with new perspective and purpose.

  • L

    Much has taken place. While in Jiyyd, a man I do not know walked by me and asked me to “said hello to paladin lady when you see her and said I find how to make mark go aways, she will understand.” I have never met this man so I am uncertain of how he would know who MY acquaintances are, further I am uncertain as to whom the message should go. Never the less, I sought him out though could not find him but I did find the knight-warrior in the company of two of the Divine Shield’s high ranking officials, a lady with a pleasant demeanor and a man, the one who follows Mystra. He was obviously enthralled by her and hung on her every word. What is it about this Order that leads people in before they have learned how the Order acts under various circumstances?

    More than once I have seen members of said order act in a manner that left me shocked and appalled given what they are supposed to stand for. Humility? I have seen none of that whatsoever either in the acting members nor the high ranking officers, at least not until meeting this lady last eve…. though I am not certain twas humility I saw in her either. She seems pleasant enough and on the surface seems to hold a humble attitude, though I thought the same of others I met until I witnessed them showing their true colors. Humility is certainly not a trait shown by the members of this Orders and in fact, it would seem that being self-righteous and extremely judgmental are traits that this Order requires of its members and those I have witnessed personally certainly do qualify.

    The knight-warrior shall have to make his own decisions on whether to join this Order or not, though my personal opinion at this time is that they have become just as the order at home, self-righteous, judgmental and far too interested in political affairs. Again, I shall wait and watch and learn.

    Upon our return to Peltarch we were greeted by the woman warrior who follows Lady Luck and the man who always seems in ill health. Almost immediately the woman warrior positioned herself next to the woman who holds a high rank in the Order and whispering ensued. The whispering continued on for some time as I spoke with the man in ill health for awhile and the knight-warrior asked a couple more questions of the woman who is in the Order.

    I nearly laughed aloud when he asked her if a paladin was required to be a zealot. He is very naïve at times and has much to learn of the ways of those who are called into service to the Gods. Her answer was rather unimpressive and general, though at least it showed that she has an opinion that differs from most of what I have seen from them.

    The man I love speaks highly of this woman warrior, yet it seems each time I see her she is downgrading someone for something, speaking ill of them to others. This time it was the Legion she spoke such of, though she attempted to coat it in honey. “Ah, the Legion. Good people who make bad mistakes,” she stated with the air of judgment that seems to be typical in this city. Bad mistakes according to whom? To her? Is that not based on whom it is judging their decision? Jiyyd seems to be thriving from what I have seen so apparently their decisions are not terribly bad. Politics again. It simply amazes me how those who do follow the Gods seem to easily lose sight of their requirements when politics are involved.

    My letter was received by the man who follows Gond and he was in agreement to speak with me at length. We talked for quite some time and some of the things he spoke to me left me shocked, though given what I have seen, I believe him to be speaking truth. I have agreed to aid him in the fight against evil, as is my sworn duty for Torm, with the stipulation that I am able to do so as my training is still sorely lacking given the lack of a hierarchy in the Church. If I could find one person here who is not tainted by politics and a sense of self-righteousness, one who follows one of the Triad or even a God they work with, I would surely bend their ear in regards to all I have seen and heard thus far. I would have a million questions to ask of them and I am quite certain that the conversation would last for days on end. However, no such person seems to exist, or at least I have not found them as of yet. Perhaps Torm means me to see all of the political garbage seeping into the faith before I find one I can trust enough to speak to openly about these concerns. The man who follows Gond gave me a warning of sorts not to attempt to speak of this in the city. He told me to go south and put my efforts in there where they would actually be appreciated. He seems to have a defeatist attitude in regards to this city, one I hope not to adopt for myself.

    Later as I tried to pen my journal entry outdoors by the temple, it began to rain. No surprise. It seems to rain here more than it shines. I grow weary of the incessant rain and inability to be outdoors where I prefer. I gathered my journal, quill and ink bottle and went back inside the Temple at the altar of Torm to write there. Shortly aft, the knight-warrior entered and seemed to wish to speak with me, though he seemed leery of doing so. When he was finally seated, he asked to clarify something he had been told by the two officials of the Order. Apparently this was discussed at great length, though no explanation was given to him so that he could understand the difference between grace, favor and gifts from the Gods. I did my best to explain them to him and also told him that what I stated was my opinion of the definitions. He seemed to understand them satisfactorily aft our discussion.

    He has had a sudden and avid interest in paladins of late and again, he asked me a question about paladins. I asked of him why he held such an interest in them and his answer came as quite a surprise to me. He stated in no uncertain terms, “Because I wish to become one,” as though twas something one could simply just become. He is indeed quite naïve and has much to learn on these matters and given such, I advised him that no matter how hard he worked to become a paladin, he would ne’er achieve it unless Tyr Himself called him to be one. I further advised him that as a warrior, he has a certain leeway for mistakes. Should he make a mistake in his faith, although Tyr may chastise him for it, he will not fall from grace. As a paladin, he would fall from grace and the abilities and divine magics given him would be taken away. He seemed to understand what I spoke and as we both had other duties to tend to, we part ways. I noted his posture as he departed and his shoulders slumped, his step was not normal. It was not my intent to discourage him, merely to ensure he is thinking CAREFULLY about what he strives to be. This path is far from an easy one. Far, far from an easy one. I hope he will consider it carefully afore leaping into it without the knowledge he should have.

    The one I love has not returned as of yet. I look for his return any time now with great anticipation. Again, only one has asked me of his absence. Again, it was the knight-warrior. It certainly leaves one to wonder…

  • L

    I await his return with great anticipation as the time grows nearer, though I find a sense of dread mingled with my excitement. I have much to speak to him of and I pray that he also has much to tell me. I have missed him a great deal and though everything inside of me is as a little child awaiting their birthday, a sense of uncertainty and perhaps even fear lingers as well. I do not know what he may have been told or shown by Mielikki. From everything I have read on her, I find no reason she would not approve of me given my love of the forest and its occupants. Still, it is there, that dark whisper in the shadows telling me as if warning me that She will not bless our love.

    I have spent much time since his departure in prayer and communion with Torm. Though I have sought His wishes in this matter diligently, He speaks not of them to me. I have received no answer, heard nothing, seen nothing in this regard. I wonder if His silence means He approves…or disapproves? Or perhaps His silence means He is neutral on this issue? Family is second only to faith in His perspective. Perhaps this is all I need to know.

    I find it disturbing that the only one who has asked me of his absence is the knight-warrior. Not one other has spoken to me of it.

    I have again met the older sailor, the one who donated 100 gold to the Temple. If I am to take him at his word, he is the captain of the Sails, which I overheard as he spoke to the supposed evil caster. They do not seem to hide their affairs and they spoke openly of new recruits that had apparently applied to join. This man is rather, hmm, different. While I do not claim to know his heart, I do know that he holds no respect at all for Torm. He seems to be a fair warrior, at least against the hobgoblins on the path from Peltarch to Jiyyd. He strikes me as one who is quite opinionated and perhaps even obnoxious with it at times. I do not feel at ease trusting him as I do the caster. He is pleasant enough in conversation and freely offered his knowledge of the swamps near Jiyyd when I asked him. He warned of the trolls there that can easily “fry” one into their armor with their magics. He even stated he would be glad to escort me there so that I might learn of the area but something tells me not to trust this one too far. I cannot pinpoint it, but there is something there. I will speak with the knight-warrior and ask what his thoughts were and I will watch and learn for now.

    On the trip from Peltarch to Jiyyd, I noted this man’s comment when in jest, the supposed evil caster stated to me he wished another reward and I responded telling him perhaps the other sailor would give him one. The captain responded that his kind did not give rewards, they do what they do out of the goodness of their hearts or some such thing. I was a bit taken aback as twas merely in jest that the caster and I spoke. The caster called him old an grumpy in Jiyyd. Perhaps this is the case as I do not find much of a sense of humor in this man.

    The knight-warrior attempted to locate the residence of the other Tyrran we met the other eve in Jiyyd. Naturally, the guards would not give him this information, even though he merely wishes to drop off a letter to the man. I hope that he can make contact with this man as I believe it will give him a great sense of stability in his endeavors. While I know the Tyrran faith fairly well, it is not the faith I follow.

    I will close for now and await the morrow when my love returns to me, in prayer that all will be well with him.

  • L

    While sitting near the fire outside the Inn in Jiyyd, the knight-warrior and I had the pleasure of meeting one who is in service to Tyr. He appears to be part orcish in descent and claims to have met Tyr Himself. Quite large in stature and quite boisterous in voice.

    He told us both the tale of how he met Tyr and the battles that ensued aft this meeting. Another stood here to the fire, an illusionist, casting illusions that animated his story as he told it. It was quite fascinating indeed and the knight-warrior was quite taken with both this man and his story. Perhaps I find another for him to seek counsel with?

    In watching and listening to his interactions with others, it would seem that he is also involved in the politics or militia or perhaps both, of Jiyyd. He is friendly and seems intelligent enough to accomplish this. Upon learning the knight-warrior is also a follower of Tyr, he seemed quite pleased and wished to meet with him concerning matters of interest to them both. I was more than a bit stunned when the knight-warrior, rather than simply accepting, asked the large man if I might go along with them. I certainly do not mind attending and will do all that I can to aid those who follow Tyr, though I do not understand why the knight-warrior would do such. He has an opportunity to learn from one of his own faith, one who seems quite accomplished. I will encourage him to take it.

    On a more comical note, the supposed evil caster escorted the knight-warrior and I back to Jiyyd… again. Upon our arrival, he asked me if he would get a reward. I asked of him what he wished. He stated he wished a kiss and pointed to his cheek. Although I already knew him to be joking when he first asked of the reward, I had to laugh at the reward he sought and I granted it, kissing him on the cheek. I should have known he was being feisty. He immediately stated, “I am going to tell the one you love!” though he used his name. “Only if I do not tell him first,” I quipped and laughed. I have found this one’s girlfriend? Lover? Wife? To be quite pleasant to speak with as well. She is also quite a wonderful performer! I believe the most comical part of this was when the knight-warrior walked up and saw me kissing the caster’s cheek. He had missed the conversation previous to this action and his expression showed his confusion and surprise.

    Why do people in these lands wish to pay me for a gift Torm has given me freely? I have met another man, older and definitely possessing a pirate’s mannerisms right down to his speech. He was badly injured and leaving a trail of blood as he stammered into the gates of Jiyyd. I stopped him and asked if I might assist him. He agreed. Aft I had healed his wounds, he handed me a pouch of gold, quite heavy. He stated that he wished me to donate it to whatever faith I followed. I agreed, only because it will be donated to the Temple in Peltarch. Much later, as time allowed, I counted the gold and was shocked to find 100 gold in the pouch. Yet another man wandered in Jiyyd injured, though this one asked for healing and stated he would pay for it. I did grant him Torm’s blessing of healing though I did not wish his gold. Still, he left a pouch of gold lying on the ground, payment for the healing. It was given to an old man whose robe and cloak were ragged and torn and whose boots badly needed replaced.

    The one I love has been gone now for a few days and I miss him…. Greatly. I pray that Mielikki will speak to him and guide him so that he may continue on his path. I pray that She keeps him safe and that if She reveals to him that I am not his path, we both will be able to accept this. He told me once that Mielikki has given him his life to live as he sees fit, though I have to wonder how pleased She is at the amount of time he spends in a stone city. I am bound to this city by the Temple within it. He is bound to it only because I am here. I seek a way to ensure that both of us can do as we are expected and still remain close to each other. This will not be easy…but it will be worth it.

  • L

    He seeks my counsel… or does he?

    The warrior-knight has come to me more than once now asking for my counsel in matters of concern to him. He claims that he, like me, cannot find a hierarchy in the Temple of the Triad, nor a Priest of Tyr that he can turn to for such matters. He further claims that he feels a trust with me, thus he trusts my advice. While all of this is likely true, I do not believe these to be the only reasons that he turns to me.

    After long hours and the days spent with him talking, it has been revealed that he feels a growing affection for me. Is this affection what drives him to seek my counsel? A reason or excuse to be with me? He knows I love another and that this love is returned to me. Much begins to make sense to me now.

    We have spoken at great length of his past and though I will not divulge it here for the same reasons I do not write names, I will state that his past, or at least what he claims his past to be, seems more like a fairytale than anything else. He is here for a specific purpose and he claims he will find what he seeks here. What does he truly seek?

    Tis quite an odd sensation to know that I hold the affections of two men. I find him very handsome and somewhat charming, if not a bit rough around the edges. His company is pleasant enough and his boyish smile and the way his features turn crimson red at times is quite comical. I asked of him why me when there are other more beautiful maidens in these lands who are free to pursue a relationship? I am not certain twas an answer, though he stated that he could not tell me why, twas his heart speaking.

    Each time this topic has arisen in conversation, I have made certain to again inform him that I am not available for him to pursue. He seems to understand this, at least in words and his last response was merely, “I know m’lady and it saddens me greatly.”

    If indeed he is a knight as he claims, he will follow a code of chivalry and this code should, by all rights, stop him from pursuing a lady who is spoken for. Time will tell.

  • L

    I find that I wake much more refreshed and well rested when I have spent the night in Jiyyd….or near it.

    This morn aft morning prayers and a small breakfast, I went to tend to the warrior-knight. In our travels through the plains yesterday, he had contracted a disease from a bite and was feeling poorly. The man in general ill health had given him some herbs to help him feel better and he seemed to be feeling much feeling. I noted that upon the arrival of the man I am seeing and our greetings to each other, the warrior-knight’s symptoms seemed to have worsened when I checked on him again. His coloring had gone pale and his overall stature showed he did not feel well. I sent him to the Inn to rest with instructions to finish the herbs and drink a lot of water to help flush his system more quickly. I know the herbs given to him were appropriate so the backset he had taken puzzled me. The caster, the one so many claim evil, was standing nearby and he commented on the warrior-knight’s condition, stating, “He is some sort of sick alright.” This led me to believe that perhaps there are diseases and such in these lands that I am unaware of. I made of note of this incase in the future I need to ask him of it.

    This morn found the warrior-knight in good health and good spirits, though he claimed he had been spending much time relieving himself. No surprise, given the amount of water I had him drink.

    We spoke for awhile and I told him that I wished to go back to the plains and gather some information on what the animals are suffering with. He wished to go with me and we set off.

    Again we were attacked by men with no call to attack us and again, they were slain. Again, we encountered the very large bugs that still give me the shivers. When we came to the plains, I wandered about slowly, killing only those animals who attacked. I advised the warrior-knight to do the same as there no reason to kill the others. I have gathered feathers, a patch of pelt from a wild dog and a patch of pelt from a large wild cat. I hope to find someone… somewhere…. Who can help me identify what it is that these animals suffer from.

    As we looked about for a possible cause, we noted an orc. He seemed to be alone and wandering rather aimlessly but I advised the warrior-knight to leave him be. Upon our return journey, we located several slain soldier’s remains, men that died to protect their families and all in Jiyyd. I prayed at the site and with each we found, we looked for some form of identification. Oddly, we found nothing to identify these men at all, only a few gold pieces on their bodies. I wish to find someone in Jiyyd who can advise me if there is a fund set up for the families of the fallen soldiers as tis only right that this gold go back to them. If there is not, I shall endeavor to find a superior officer, one that would lead the soldiers and ask what to do with this gold.

    Returning to Jiyyd, our moods rather somber, we seated ourselves near the fire outside the Inn. There we remained for many long hours simply in conversation. We talked of various things and somehow ended on the topic of fairytales. the word fairytales has been written over a couple of times It was the most odd and rather confusing conversation. It would almost seem as though this man truly believes in fairytales and the way life is lived within them.

    He looks at me in a manner that I can not describe at times, as though he has known me forever. Then at other times, he blatantly stares at me without even realizing it and upon catching himself, he stammers and stumbles o’er his words for some time. I have wondered if perhaps I remind him of someone he has known in the past, though from what he has spoke of his past it does not seem likely. Still, tis odd…

  • L

    More is clear to me now though admittedly, there is still much I do not understand. I have spoken at length with the man I see and I know that his behavior is due at least in part to feeling rather lost himself. None the less, we spoke for some time and some of the questions I had he has answered and reassured me that the things I see are not what they seem.

    I have encountered the dwarven woman again. She truly is a delight and leaves me chuckling if not laughing each time I see her. We were going to make our way to the fields of Jiyyd though along the path, we learned of a gnome that was searching for items.
    We came across a group of others, some I recognized and some I did not. We decided to join them and the things that needed to be gathered were quite an odd combination, yet we set out to find them. Apparently it was some kind of competition the gnome had set up though for reasons unknown to me, it was never able to be finished.

    A meeting was held by the Legion in Jiyyd. The topic was a recent drow attack… I believe. I attended along with the warrior knight and the man who seems always in ill health though I spent my time there quite confused. There is obviously much that I have missed and need to catch up on in this regard.

    Aft the meeting, the three of us made our way to the fields outside of Jiyyd. The woman in Jiyyd had spoken to me of an area they could use help with, scavengers, and I agreed to go. We were attacked by all manner of creatures as well as by men who for no reason saw fit to attempt to take our lives. They were, of course, slain which upset me. It was not their death that upset me, it was that there was no reason for them to die. They gave us no chance to speak with them whatsoever.

    Bugs.. I have ne’er seen such huge bugs! Though I was assured that the ones we encountered were the small ones and that the larger ones reside underground. The thought made me shiver.

    Animals… It hurt me to see the animals with disease. Wild dogs, birds, large cats and the like, none of which seemed in their right minds. I must return and learn what I can about what plagues them. Perhaps if I can find the source further infestation might be stopped.

    The man who seems in ill health contracted a disease from a swarm of flying bugs. His physical strength was sapped badly and his health seemed to dwindle quickly. We were on our way back to see to his condition properly when the man I see arrived, seemingly escorted by several others. I was surprised… no, shocked to see him. It has been only a day since his most recent death and I thought he would be resting. He should have been. I was both happy and sad to see him, an odd mixture. Although I love being with him, I wish him to take better care of himself so that I might be with him for some time in the future.

    Gnomes and hin… there seems to be an abundance of these in the lands, especially near Jiyyd. We encountered one who thought it quite funny to make me invisible. I thought it a rather cute joke though the one I see did not. His voice rang out with a forboding sense of something, perhaps fear? “Celestria! By the hells, tell me you are only invisible and not vanished!?” He soon learned I was not vanished as I snuck around behind him and stated, “BOO!” He did not seem to appreciate this much either. I am uncertain as to why this upset him so.

    As we spoke together, the same one came by again and picked up the large greatsword that my love has been attempting to learn in battle. The little man simply walked off with it, chuckling all the while. It was retrieved and further conversation ensued, though I did not hear all of it as I was further down the path speaking with a man who wore the colors of the Sails…. Only the second I have seen thus far.

    Jiyyd is beautiful and warmer than Peltarch, much more open as well but I must be near the temple. The temple here is a Helmite temple and although Torm has a relationship of sorts with Helm, I have found Helm’s clergy to be less than friendly with those who follow Torm. I will remain in Peltarch for now though my heart’s fondest wish is to be in the forest. Perhaps Torm will one day allow it.

  • L

    A single candle is lit, the flame casting shadows all about her, shadows that seem to close in on her and distract her from the journal before her. Sitting at the small desk, no idea of how much time has passed, she struggles to put into words her feelings but each time she begins, tears well in her eyes threatening to break their dam. Despite her best efforts, some have fallen onto the page and left their mark as a remembrance of this pain. Through the veil of tears she glances to him sleeping, distorted, silent and still save for his breathing, breathing that only hours ago had ceased. Turning back to the journal in another attempt, a sigh leaves her, one holding every emotion overwhelming her and blockading her ability to express them. Although far from her normal detailed writings, her ramblings here are much clearer than the previous entry.

    Torm help me. I feel as though I am falling, falling into the depths of … something, somewhere.. the past…

    Watching him die, falling to the forest floor, a lifeless pile of bone and blood and burned flesh… the past, it comes for me to the present…

    Lightening took him, shuddering, shaking, convulsing, bleeding, involuntary noises, the stench of burning flesh, it replays in my mind, over and again…

    I remember, too clearly, falling, falling as he did, unable to control the convulsing of my body…

    I am fighting, fighting to stay, fighting the past, fighting the shadows that threaten to take me into the darkness, back there again…

    Losing him, the pain near unbearable, a thousand questions… Why?

    Nonchalant, yes, he seemed to care little, as though he had not left me, not died, as though I had not watched it in horror, my heart stopping as his body hit the forest floor…

    His gear, his concern, his items, they were his wish…

    Truth, I must know, I must find it, to stay, to keep the past away.

    My path, help me, show me, somehow… I must find it, must know, can not face this without knowing… Alone, I am alone in this, without You…

    Help me, Your call, Your wish… Am I wrong?

    Leaving the journal at the desk, she stands at the window staring out at the empty cobblestone paths. Her eyes raise to the heavens heavy with the weight of pain and tears, her voice broken in whispered request, “Help me. Please.”

  • L

    DEATH.. the word is scrawled in black ink on the page taking up its entire width and written over and over again, the penmanship shaky and uneven. It is also underlined, apparently to give emphasis. The following entry is written in the customary blue ink

    HIS death.

    Fear… grasping me… holding me…

    Shadows…. slipping into my mind… laughing at me… taunting me…

    Blind… fading to black…. unable to see…

    Aching… hard to breath… labored…

    Empty… lifeless… a gaping chasm…

    Hollow… only shadows…. absence of light…

    Pain… gripping me… squeezing the very breath from me…

    Visions… lightening.. falling… dying…

    Tears… burning… stinging… biting…

    There is a pool of ink at the end of this section leaving the reader to believe that the quill was left lying there for some time

  • L

    I am beginning to see things that either I had not seen afore, or perhaps were not present afore. I am uncertain as to which it is but I shall continue to watch… closely.

    A woman appeared in the common area today. I noted that she was unable to move well and seemed to seat herself in a very slow and somewhat painful fashion. I further noted that I had not seen her afore. As is customary for me, I asked if she was alright. Amidst the ongoing sexual innuendo at the time from those present, she perhaps did not hear me so I approached and asked yet again if she was alright.

    She was difficult to understand at best and spoke of needing herbs to help the sick in the city. She spoke of moving too slow to gather them herself and told of the herbs being a great distance from Peltarch, somewhere to the south.

    Before I could get a response as to whether she was alright or not, the man I see was there with a vigor unlike even him. He literally ignored the conversation I had begun with the woman and completely took it over, his words nearly drenched in honey at times. More than a bit surprised by his actions, I stood silently and let him have the conversation, listening intently and gauging his body language and facial features. He was certainly more interested in this woman for some reason than he had been in me when she arrived.

    Before she had arrived, I had attempted to speak with him about my concern for the warrior in hopes he might have some ideas for fun things that I might pass on. Oddly, his only interest in the subject lied with his own behavior as he had come into the Temple during our conversation and was concerned that he had not done the ‘right thing’ by leaving upon seeing I was in counsel. Once he learned that his leaving was the right choice, he held no further interest in my findings. For the first time, I was left feeling as though what I had to say meant little to nothing to him. He was more interested in the two women, apparently married to each other, and their ongoing sexual innuendo.

    I considered this for some time and wondered if that was the type of behavior he wished his partner to display as he seemed to be drawn to it somehow. I joined the conversation and being of quick wit, was able to retort a few times though it was certainly not my preference, neither was I comfortable in doing so. Aside from his occasional glance to me in surprise or the wagging of his finger at me in response to a comment I had made, his focus was still on the two women, leaving me to believe that I am just as well off being myself. I shall do so hence forth as this experience revealed that there is more to his attentions… as suspected.

    As he spoke to the woman requiring the herbs, he seemed overly eager to set out on this journey. It was as though he had already made up his mind to go afore knowing anything about it. But why? He has previously mentioned the need to find paying work to me and I had openly asked if he was in need of gold to which he responded that he was not. He merely wished to accomplish “some things” that would require gold. I wondered if perhaps he was overly enthusiastic in hopes payment would be involved, though I hoped truly that was not the reason. I have ne’er been one to hold worldly possessions in high esteem and if this IS his focus, there will surely be a clash between us.

    His mind made up to go, he turned to the warrior woman and asked for her to go along. First. It was she he wished first, just as it was she and her lover who held his attentions in the previous conversations, just as it was she he whispered to in the corner of the Arms shop. She seems in every aspect of his life, to include his private life. Even that is not mine alone as rightly it should be.

    I begin to wonder if perhaps I am his second choice. Perhaps his first affections belong to her as well, though as she is supposedly married, that would place her off limits to any man with any good moral code at all.

    Watch, wait, listen and be patient. The signs I am beginning to see may be a warning that I am taking the wrong path.